Russian Doll: Season 2, Episode 7

Directed by Natasha Lyonne

Brendan Sexton III as Horse • Annie Murphy as Young Ruth Brenner • Irén Bordán as Vera Peschauer • Rebecca Henderson as Lizzy • Jeremy Bobb as Mike Kershaw

On Nadia's birthday, she and Alan reunite in a familiar place. But they clash over how to handle the future (and the past).

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Tabula rasa.

2. What are you talking about?

3. Tabula rasa.

4. A blank slate.

5. Do you know who I could've been if everything had been different?

6. If anything had been different?

7. The chance to be the me I could've been

8. literally slid out of my body on a 6 train platform.

9. How, with all the time travel stories

10. about people accidentally obliterating themselves,

11. do you find a way to make yourself double?

12. I had to take her someplace safe.

13. This is safe? Hmm?

14. You have collapsed time, Nadia,

15. and now we are back in this horrible, evil freaking birthday party

16. I spent lifetimes trying to escape!

17. Chicken's almost ready!

18. Jesus Christ with this fucking song.

19. I went through major shit, Nadia. You don't think I wanted to change things?

20. But no, I followed the rules of the train because I am a good commuter.

21. But you, you on the other hand, you're just—

22. Look, no kid should have to go through what I went through, all right?

23. Trust me, I've lived all sides of it.

24. Who's a little Rashomon face?

25. I'm— I'm sorry.

26. A friend kidnapping her newborn self then collapsing time is a hard boundary.

27. Come on.

28. - They went down… - Oh boy.

29. …alive, into the realm of the dead.

30. Who— who are they?

31. Oh look at that.

32. This used to be a school for Jews.

33. Now, it's open-planned living for the enlightened.

34. I use the terms "now" and "used to be" loosely.

35. - Oh my God. - Okay.

36. Who's Nadia Comăneci?

37. - Yes, she is. Ten-ten-ten. - God, oh God.

38. Enough about me.

39. How have you been?

40. Can I hold her?

41. Sure, but don't make it weird.

42. She's me, you know?

43. Ah.

44. Somebody likes you.

45. This guy.

46. Now, see, this is the type of shit I was thinking about.

47. Hey, baby.

48. Okay, okay, we— we have to bring her back.

49. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

50. We cannot live in this chaos forever. Look, look.

51. Nadia, it's a simple decision. We just—

52. Simple says you. Me? I'm still exploring my options.

53. What?

54. I mean, the world is different, sure, but it's not terrible.

55. Guess what? There's time.

56. There's time for everything.

57. Nadia, Nadia, please.

58. Come on, man, we've been through worse, all right?

59. We can handle this.

60. Hey, as Abraham used to say,

61. "Trust that the fabric of space-time is durable like Tyvek."

62. Uh…

63. Which is Sheol, where all dead go.

64. The common grave for all humanity.

65. Nadia, I understand why you did this. I really do.

66. Well, it makes sense, you guilt-tripping me in front of a rabbi.

67. Were you always this difficult?

68. Please don't harass the baby. She's in her formative years.

69. - I'm so sorry. No yarmulke. - Just relax, Alan.

70. They're basically non-playable characters,

71. just stuck in a loop, incapable of deviating from preset grooves.

72. To them, this is all status quo normal.

73. Who wants a high-five? Yeah, hey.

74. Hey. How you doing?

75. Come here!

76. This guy has always loved to hug, Alan.

77. Hi. You want a light?

78. There you go.

79. You still look great, you know?

80. All right. Hey.

81. Hey, guys, how are ya?

82. Look who's having white wine spritz. That's great.

83. Sweet birthday baby.

84. It's laced with cocaine, like the Israelis do it.

85. How'd you know?

86. I broke time.

87. Oh, because you're so old.

88. We should get out of here.

89. Come on, Alan, party's just getting started.

90. And Ruth hasn't showed up yet.

91. I've never had a birthday without her. I'm not about to start now.

92. - You want some chicken? - I don't want your four-year-old chicken.

93. Okay, well, I'll just put it in the oven so it doesn't get cold.

94. Oh, hey, hey. Okay, yeah, I— I don't know what to do.

95. Hush, she's fine. She loves parties. Look, I've got a bottle.

96. Uh, I'll hold her. Is she— she a her?

97. She's a neither nor.

98. - Hmm. Chic. - Yes.

99. Maxine.

100. Maxine, it's—

101. - Oh. - What the hell? Dude, it's not ready.

102. Oh!

103. - Chicken's raw. - Very interesting.

104. Nadia, this is crazy.

105. It's entropy, Alan. Right? Entropy.

106. It's what gives us linear time, irreversible processes,

107. so things can only move in one direction, into the future.

108. You can't un-fry an egg, usually.

109. You can't un-cook a chicken, usually.

110. - Except, hey, look at us, right? - Mm-hmm.

111. - Now, we can. - No, you cannot.

112. - No, no, you cannot un-cook the baby. - Come on. That's a little impressive.

113. No, Nadia, you cannot un-cook that baby.

114. - The baby's fine. - Can we bring it back?

115. She loves Lizzy.

116. Ple— please, can we just bring her back?

117. Do you not care that their lives are literally disintegrating?

118. They're artists, Alan. They love the surreal.

119. - See? - Come back here.

120. - Look how happy. - Nadia. Nadia.

121. If you cannot figure out how to do this for me,

122. or for your best friends, or for yourself,

123. just do it so you don't go to hell for being the most selfish person ever.

124. I am painfully misunderstood.

125. Hey, hey, hey! Who invited these kids to my party?

126. - I gotta go handle this. - Yeah.

127. Take my baby.

128. Ha.

129. Come on, let's get the fuck out of here, kiddo.

130. Nadia, whoa. Nadia, where are you going?

131. Nadia, where are you go—

132. - Oh. - Hey, it's all right.

133. Easy. She's not worth it, trust me.

134. Which is a lesson I've learned in spades from my ex-wife.

135. She could never forget my past transgressions, you know what—

136. Hi.

137. Fuck.

138. - Fuck it. - Excu— Nadia.

139. - Hey. - Huh.

140. Ah-ha! There's my birthday girl.

141. No need to roll out the red carpet for me, pumpkin.

142. What'd I tell ya?

143. Ruth's here. Not so bad.

144. - Come on, man, just hold the baby. - It's Ruth from four years ago.

145. Yeah, I know it won't make a difference, but, uh—

146. - Well, I'll just wait. I'll wait. - All right.

147. Hiya, Ruthie.

148. Oh…

149. - Come on. - We're waiting.

150. - Oh, my fucking knees. - Yeah.

151. Upsie-pupsie, Ruthie.

152. I can do it.

153. - Yeah, I know you can. - Okay.

154. Okay.

155. Um, Na— Nadia?

156. Yeah?

157. Look.

158. Ah.

159. Would you look at that?

160. They just keep coming.

161. Nadia?

162. What? Aren't you coming in?

163. Oh no. No, no.

164. You cannot Irish exit your own party.

165. I'm sorry I'm not in the hospital with you right now, Ruthie.

166. I'm trying. I am.

167. You won't be alone, okay?

168. Sweetheart, what have you got to be sorry for?

169. You're right here with me right now.

170. Nothing in this world is easy except pissing in the shower.

171. - Okay. - Nadia?

172. - Nadia? - Yeah?

173. And there's my birthday girl.

174. Uh…

175. I fucked up.

176. I know.

177. Ugh. Yeah, let's take her back.

178. Fire escape?

179. I guess. Thank God.

180. Ladies and gentlemen,

181. boys and girls,

182. experience the New York sky!

183. - Ten cents a ride… - I'm proud of you.

184. …for your first bona fide…

185. …hydrogen balloon!

186. Jesus. Oh shit.

187. Told ya. Pamphlet.

188. Oh hey.

189. Yeah.

190. Well, here.

191. Yeah, two pockets.

192. This balloon won't be here for long!

193. All right, let's get this baby back to the '80s.

194. Experience the New York sky!

195. This is a downtown local 6 train to Brooklyn Bridge,

196. approaching the station. Please stand away from the platform edge.

197. - Stand clear of the closing doors. - Man, where's this fucking train?

198. - This is a Pelham Bay Park bound 6 train. - Come on.

199. Next stop, 77th Street, Lenox Hill.

200. Tell you, this baby's gonna be a moody teenager

201. by the time we get her back if we don't get a move on.

202. Spoiler alert, she gets her period at 12,

203. so basta la pasta.

204. Please stand away from the platform edge.

205. This is a Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall bound 6 train. Next stop…

206. This is ridiculous. What if the train never comes?

207. What if we're stuck here for forever?

208. We should have a plan B just in case.

209. Oh man. You know, you're getting very stressed out, Alan, all right?

210. - Why don't you hold the little baby? - Oh no.

211. It will help you calm down. Ah, okay. There you go. That's right.

212. My fucking neck is killing me.

213. I swear to God, this is why people get abortions. No offense, baby.

214. Stand clear of the closing doors.

215. - The Metro City Police Department… - Hey.

216. - Remain aware of your surroundings. - Look.

217. - If you see something, say something. - Yo! Yo!

218. Hey, you know where the trains are?

219. Hey! Hey, slow down!

220. Alan!

221. - We apologize for the delay. - Hey, man, I'm talking to you!

222. Now arriving—

223. This way.

224. Hey, man, do you know where the 6 train is?

225. Shit.

226. Horse?

227. You work for the MTA now?

228. What? No, Haircut, I live down here with my wife. Fuck you.

229. Can you help us?

230. Uh, I'm looking for my train.

231. It's number 6622.

232. For a price.

233. Nadia, this guy is no help, okay? So—

234. - The baby needs a diaper change. - Come on, the baby's fine.

235. We're both fathers. I respect that.

236. Okay, we'll make a trade.

237. A trade?

238. It's good negotiating.

239. I know where your train is. Follow me.

240. Come on.

241. Yeah. Uh—

242. Everything falls down.

243. Closer to the center of the Earth you are, the closer you are to the truth. Gravity.

244. I'm sorry, can we— can we hurry? We're kind of in a rush.

245. You got time, man.

246. Time as you understand was invented to synchronize European train systems

247. so that goods could be moved across borders.

248. Watch the third rail.

249. Let me hold the baby.

250. Uh, your hands seem so full already.

251. Come on, just for a little bit. Please? Let me hold her.

252. What do you need, baby, huh?

253. Babies are true materialists.

254. - Alan, don't give Horse the baby. - Is she okay?

255. She's a subway baby. She's me, we're fine.

256. As long as I'm still standing, that means that she's okay.

257. Fine.

258. Follow the tracks, end of the line, you'll see your train. Pay up.

259. - For real? - Yep. Pay up.

260. - Money. Mm-hmm. I take cash. - How's that?

261. All right, 40 bucks, man. Not bad.

262. I hear a jingle.

263. - All right, keys. - That's good. Go.

264. Great, thanks.

265. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

266. You too, bud. Pay up.

267. Is that your fucking train, huh? Is that your train?

268. Is that your train?

269. I don't know, man. I'm an R32, number 6622, so…

270. - How do you even know? - Oh, come on, man.

271. You gotta know your make and model. That's Quantum Leaping 101.

272. Run.

273. Hey, Nadia.

274. Yeah.

275. Wardog. Yeah.

276. Um, Oh! Nadia, hey. We didn't think you were gonna show.

277. - Uh— - And you have a baby.

278. Oh, cute baby.

279. Uh…

280. What's going on?

281. I don't know. The train's been stopped for 30 minutes.

282. We're gonna be late for the wake.

283. Ah.

284. This isn't right.

285. Hold up. Hold up.

286. You don't like these flowers? I thought Ruth loved orchids.

287. Consider them gone.

288. Hey. Hey, Nads.

289. You have to stop beating yourself up for not being there.

290. What do you mean I don't get there?

291. Ruth dies alone?

292. After everything?

293. I just talked to her on my birthday.

294. Your birthday was a month ago.

295. - It's April. It's April 30th. - No.

296. It is March 30th, okay?

297. Today is still my birthday, so…

298. you're in the future.

299. - Nadia… - It's okay.

300. Grief doesn't move you in a straight line.

301. Hey, do you— do you know what you're gonna say tonight?

302. It's okay.

303. Um, "Do you believe in the future of humanity?" Um, okay.

304. The 6 train is now departing…

305. Hey, come on. Hey, hey, we need to get off this train.

306. We need—

307. We don't belong here, come on.

308. Nadia, we have to bring the baby back, right?

309. I'm not leaving. Fuck that.

310. If I don't make it to her deathbed,

311. the least I can do is show up to her fucking funeral!

312. - No, Nadia! That's enough! - All right?

313. - Come on! - Are they fucking?

314. - Alan, I know how to fucking walk. - Watch the baby.

315. God!

316. Nadia? Nadia, calm down.

317. Nadia, please.

318. Calm down?

319. Man, it's fucking over, all right?

320. I don't get there for Ruth.

321. Wasn't there for the best mother I had.

322. All this shit, for nothing.

323. So, great.

324. How the fuck do we get outta here? Yeah.

325. I don't—

326. Wait.

327. Where are you going? Nadia?

328. - I told you about Lenny, right? - Oh yeah.

329. I tried to tell him that the wall was gonna come down.

330. That I had solid information from the future.

331. Total control of the situation, right?

332. Yeah.

333. He went anyway.

334. Well, you couldn't change anything.

335. Closed loop.

336. Right. Because of…

337. Laws of physics.

338. I was gonna say "human nature."

339. We can't escape being the product of things we can't change.

340. Are you trying to say that I'm not an original, man?

341. No one is.

342. Well, what about Bowie?

343. That's not my point. Look,

344. Ruth would not want you to carry that guilt.

345. Sweetheart, guilt, it's a wasted emotion.

346. He tried to escape. He tried to get out.

347. Lenny went to West Berlin, and I don't even know that he got there.

348. I mean…

349. I think I was supposed to stop him from going,

350. and I didn't even make it in time to say goodbye.

351. I don't know what I was supposed to do.

352. I'm never gonna forgive myself.

353. Alan, you're okay, all right?

354. It's okay.

355. It's just, it's a—

356. It's a Coney Island.

357. A what?

358. The thing that would make everything better

359. if only it had happened, right?

360. Or— or didn't happen.

361. You know, uh, an "if only."

362. Do you hear that?

363. Shit. Let me take her.

364. Nadia?

365. Nadia!

366. Alan!

367. Alan!

368. Nadia.

369. Shh.

370. Nadia!

371. Hmm.

372. Oh shit.

373. All right.

374. Shit.

375. Come on, would you?

376. Come on.

377. Fine.

378. You win.

379. Grandma?

380. Alan.

381. Look at you.

382. What happened to Lenny?

383. Lenny? I— I don't know.

384. You don't know? So was I supposed to stop him from going then,

385. or I shouldn't have done anything?

386. I— I shouldn't have done anything at all. Why did I do anything?

387. I fuck it all up.

388. I always fuck it up.

389. Alan, Alan, I don't know. And that's all right.

390. Everybody says that I'm just like you.

391. He was never going to stay. I was never going to go.

392. I couldn't leave the life I was building.

393. I helped him get out.

394. There was no other way it was supposed to happen.

395. So I got it wrong.

396. I just want answers. I just—

397. I just wanna know.

398. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being this way.

399. You are just like me.

400. We can't spend our lives so scared of making the wrong move

401. that— that we never live at all.

402. Don't be so afraid to live.

403. Yeah, I killed myself, so I…

404. I don't really know how to live with that.

405. It all just seems so much easier for everybody else.

406. Am I wrong?

407. My perfect baby boy.

408. Didn't I tell you?

409. You were too young. You don't remember.

410. I'll tell you again…

411. my perfect baby boy.

412. Okay?

413. What— what is this place?

414. Um,

415. we call it the void.

416. It's an empty pocket of space

417. left over from a job that was never completed.

418. Am I dead?

419. You must go.

420. - Follow the blue lights. - Okay.

421. There's an emergency exit around the corner

422. that will take you to the surface.

423. Okay, okay. Thank you.

424. I was lost.

425. There's so much empty space beneath the city we've forgotten about.

426. It's a wonder the whole thing doesn't cave in.

427. Look at that.

428. That's good.

429. Just a little bit of piss on my blazer.

430. It's fine. It's why we buy clothes, right?

431. All right.

432. Look at this.

433. Okay.

434. We got this. We got this.

435. Hello.

436. Am I dead?

437. How am I supposed to answer a question like that?

438. So I'm not dead?

439. Just because I came before you doesn't mean I have all the answers.

440. You're looking in the wrong place.

441. Well, that is starting to become a theme.

442. If you could choose your mother all over,

443. would you choose me again?

444. Ma…

445. Yeah, I didn't choose you the first time,

446. but I guess that's just how the story goes, huh, Mom?

447. Come on, kid.

448. Please make room for my babies.

449. Miss, please, give room for my babies.

450. Hey, do you know what station this is?

451. I don't know. I'm not a conductor.

452. Nora, let's get her home.

453. Uh, you had no obligation, but you loved me anyway, right?

454. Bye, Ruthie.

455. This is a southbound 6 train. Next stop, Astor Place.

456. Stand clear of the closing doors.

457. Mmm. You hungry?

458. Me too.