Russian Doll: Season 1, Episode 4

Directed by Jamie Babbit

Stella Schnabel as Liana • Dascha Polanco as Beatrice • Lillias White as Dr. Zaveri • Ritesh Rajan as Farran • Mirirai Sithole as Audrey

Meticulous as always, Alan steadies himself for a rendez-vous with his girlfriend. Meanwhile, Nadia's latest discovery sends her reeling.

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1. Ten.

2. Play affirmations for success.

3. Affirmations for success:

4. I am beautiful.

5. I am beautiful.

6. I am loved and deserve love.

7. I am loved and deserve love.

8. I am in control.

9. I am in control.

10. - I am beautiful. - I am beautiful.

11. I am loved and deserve love.

12. I am in control.

13. I am beautiful.

14. I am loved and deserve love.

15. - Thank you. - My pleasure.

16. Thank you very much.

17. Nice kid.

18. - I am beautiful. - I am beautiful.

19. I am loved and deserve love.

20. I'm loved. I deserve to be loved.

21. - I am in control. - I'm in control.

22. - Maxine invited me to your party. - I'm in control.

23. - Are you here? - Yeah, I know, but, uh...

24. I'm trying to find this guy I met the other night.

25. Oh. Wow, okay.

26. Well, that's a... That's a good way to make me feel special.

27. Right. No, no, no, it's not like a sex thing.

28. It's... He's a homelss guy.

29. I'm in control.

30. I'm in control.

31. Okay, bye.

32. You're early.

33. - You look... - Thanks.

34. - What's up? You seem a little... - You always say that.

35. - I always say... - Yes, always.

36. Routine is an incredible thing, Beatrice. We become what we repeatedly do.

37. Is that one of your affirmations?

38. - Where are your bags? - Where are your bags?

39. - We need to talk... - To talk. Yes, let's talk.

40. It seems like a great time to talk,

41. on the night before we leave on a week-long vacation

42. I've been planning for months.

43. I need a drink.

44. What's up, Bea?

45. You seem nervous.

46. Almost as if it's occurring to you in this moment,

47. maybe, possibly that this is gonna be harder than you thought.

48. - Did somebody tell you... - You're going to break up with me? No.

49. No, you did.

50. Stop playing these mind games.

51. What is the point of all this? To humiliate me? To make me...

52. - feel bad? - Yes!

53. That... That wasn't supposed to happen. That...

54. Uh...

55. No. No.

56. This is the problem. You're always trying to fix every little thing.

57. I can fix things. I just did.

58. I... I can't do this anymore.

59. - You need help. - I was gonna propose.

60. I'm sorry.

61. I'll see you next time.

62. Oh.

63. Oh, God.

64. Fuck!

65. Break up or... birthday?

66. Birthday.

67. All right.

68. Oh, hey. I thought you were away for the weekend.

69. - I broke up with my girlfriend. - Oh, no.

70. Yeah, so you don't need to feed Boba Fett.

71. - Oh, okay. - What was it we decided on?

72. Fifty for the week, right? Here's 100.

73. Wow. Okay.

74. Thanks.

75. This is actually really great because honestly,

76. I probably would've killed that fish.

77. Ah, um, can... Can I ask you something?

78. Sure.

79. We live in the same building and we see each other, you know, around. Um...

80. What's your take on me?

81. - I don't have one. - No.

82. Really. I mean, like, if you had to choose...

83. Like, if you weren't paying me, I never would've spoken to you.

84. Okay. Um, thank you. Thank you for your honesty.

85. You're shitting me.

86. You were gonna propose.

87. Ever since I've known you, it's been Beatrice.

88. I mean, nobody gets through long distance in college.

89. She's the wrong person for me.

90. Yo...

91. You just blew up your whole life and you are serial-killer calm about it.

92. Do you think it's possible to correct your life?

93. I find myself in this position of finally being able to do things the right way.

94. You know?

95. Why don't you come over for dinner?

96. Sheree and I would love to have you. Friday night.

97. Yeah.

98. Whenever Friday happens, I'll be there.

99. I was just gonna reach out.

100. Hi, I'm here to see Dr. Zaveri.

101. - Hi. - Alan, what's wrong?

102. What are you doing here? Do you have a cold?

103. Oh, no, I just wanted to tell you something.

104. Aren't you supposed to be at work? You can't skip work.

105. - I'm trying to tell you... - You can't go skipping work again.

106. Whatever it is you want to tell me, it can wait until later.

107. I proposed to Beatrice.

108. Did she say yes?

109. Yes. Yes, she said yes.

110. Of course she did.

111. Oh!

112. Oh, I'm so happy for you.

113. Me too.

114. You just wait and see. This is gonna change everything.

115. - I know. You're right. - Mm-hmm.

116. Going up.

117. We are experiencing a temporary power outage.

118. Get your phones! Call 911!

119. No, no, no, no, no!

120. Get down, everyone! Everyone, lie on your backs!

121. Get down, get down, get down!

122. Hey, man. Didn't you get the news? We're about to die.

123. It doesn't matter. I die all the time.

124. Me too.

125. Fuck.

126. Fuck.

127. Fuck.

128. All right, just give me a second!

129. - Hey, Alan. - There was a woman on the elevator.

130. Yeah, women don't like to take the stairs.

131. You are loved and deserve love.

132. I'm in control. I'm beautiful and loved. I deserve love. I'm in control.

133. I am beautiful and loved.

134. So, um...

135. You haven't said anything since you got here.

136. You're scaring me.

137. Sorry. Um...

138. Where were we? Um...

139. What's up, Bea? You... You look nervous.

140. Almost as if it's occurring to you

141. that maybe, possibly, all these things are gonna be harder than you thought.

142. Somebody told you about Mike?

143. Mike?

144. You slept with Mike?

145. You fucked the gingerbread man?

146. - Don't call him that. - You...

147. You call him that.

148. Oh... I'm... I'm gonna be sick.

149. Oh, I'm gonna throw up.

150. Hey, you... You cheated on me

151. with that elitist, condescending nightmare.

152. You never even met him. You're not even interested...

153. Is he the one that you're always on the phone with when I get here?

154. Is this... Is this why you two have been meeting up for your dissertation

155. about Philip Roth or whatever?

156. For the millionth time, it's Updike and the suburban imaginary.

157. How could you do this to me?

158. It just happened.

159. And it kept on happening.

160. And it got... harder and harder for me to tell you anything.

161. You're sensitive.

162. If I said anything that wasn't in complete agreement or wildly encouraging...

163. you were gonna lose your shit.

164. Or maybe...

165. I don't know.

166. Even hurt yourself.

167. So, I...

168. That's when I realized that...

169. there was never gonna be a right time for me to tell you anything.

170. Fuck!

171. If there are two, one kills the other.

172. - Hi. - Hey.

173. I'm Liana. Welcome to Garrett's.

174. Are you looking for anything special? Mother's Day or birthday?

175. Look, I think we can both tell that I'm not really a purchasing type.

176. Um, so I appreciate you helping me despite having no other customers.

177. Well, it beats doing this crossword.

178. You know that condition where you can't remember people's faces.

179. Facial aphasia?

180. Yes.

181. I have that, but with names.

182. Oh, come on. You're fucking with me.

183. I mean, people really like to fuck with me, so just...

184. No, no, no, it's a real condition.

185. Mmm, what's that called?

186. It's, uh...

187. it's called name aphasia.

188. Yes, it's a very serious condition. You can google it after I leave.

189. Anyway, uh, my boyfriend came in here and he bought me an engagement ring.

190. Congratulations. That's wonderful.

191. Thank you so much. It's terrific. It's an exciting time. Uh...

192. I want to make sure that he got me the right ring.

193. Okay, so he's about six feet tall, early thirties.

194. He's got, like, disturbingly good posture. You know, like, he stands very erect.

195. Like this, but a spine.

196. Oh, yes. He kind of looks like Derek Jeter,

197. who, like, obviously goes to the gym all the time,

198. and he's incredibly buff, but not 'cause he's vain,

199. he's just really compulsive, right?

200. Bingo. That is my weirdo.

201. Yeah. He came in here about 20 times.

202. And then he ended up picking the most basic ring.

203. No offense.

204. No, not at all. Uh, do you know his name?

205. Do I know your boyfriend's name?

206. Yes.

207. Okay, listen, this is really weird.

208. Would it kill you to go look in the back?

209. I think you're lying to me, and I think it's time to go.

210. I'm not lying to you. Maybe you're lying. Maybe you're a liar.

211. It's your boyfriend!

212. Yes.

213. What, are you accusing me of sleeping with your boyfriend?

214. Listen, I'm a professional. Do you understand?

215. You know what?

216. I think you're just in here trying to find things out

217. 'cause you want to sell something that somebody gifted you.

218. You want to bring it to a pawn shop or what?

219. - I don't know, but it's time to go. - So you don't have the name?

220. - Out! Go! Now! - No problem.

221. You know what? I applaud your instincts.

222. I see why they trust you with all these jewels.

223. Mmm. A bunch of malarkey.

224. Bye.

225. Come on, baby.

226. Mm-hmm.

227. Alan Zaveri.

228. Hmm.

229. Looks like somebody really likes shawarma.

230. - Wanna talk about it? - What?

231. The break up, man.

232. - Oh. - Beatrice. This Mike asshole.

233. Yeah. No, I mean, I...

234. I don't think there's anything to... to say.

235. How long has this been going on for?

236. I don't, um...

237. I didn't really ask. I didn't really ask a lot of things.

238. I would have asked...

239. so many things. I mean...

240. I never really liked Beatrice.

241. What?

242. Yeah, I mean, I never said anything mean 'cause she was just always... there.

243. You know, Sheree cheated on me once when we first started dating.

244. You never told me that.

245. Yeah, we actually went to couple's therapy and everything.

246. I don't know. Eventually things just got better.

247. But I wanted to know everything:

248. how many times it happened,

249. where it happened,

250. who was this guy.

251. Was she gonna do it again?

252. - I don't. I can't. - Why?

253. I don't do therapy.

254. I know you don't, but it's worth a shot, okay?

255. And Sean helped me and Sheree get through our problems.

256. I mean, having a third person there really kind of gave us perspective.

257. I can... I... I can do it by myself. I can.

258. No one can do anything by themselves.

259. Oh, hey, Coco. Uh, I'm Alan's buddy, six I.

260. - His buzzer's broken. Can you let me in? - How do I know you're not a murderer?

261. My sparkling personality?

262. - How many people have you murdered? - None.

263. That's what a murderer would say.

264. Really?

265. Do I know you? What the fuck is this?

266. Hey, man, I tried to jimmy your lock,

267. but I guess that shit only works in movies, huh.

268. How did you find me?

269. Uh, we're neighbors. I live around the corner on Fifth and B.

270. - No, no, thank you. No. - Oh. No, I'm not selling anything, dude.

271. Do you think it's weird that we live in the same neighborhood?

272. Do you think it means anything?

273. Do you think we're dead? That we're the same person?

274. You know, I got a couple of theories that I'm working on.

275. Us being the same person is my current favorite.

276. How would that even work that we could possibly...

277. Check it out, check it out. Can you feel this?

278. Does it hurt? Is it hurting you? It's hurting me.

279. Okay, stop. Just...

280. Hey, look, pal. I'm not so sweet on you either, okay?

281. But right now you're the only lead I've got.

282. - Lead? - Yeah, you know, uh, clue.

283. To get out of this, whatever this is, this situation.

284. There is no way out of this situation.

285. And, personally, I liked it. I had control. I... I knew what was coming.

286. And then you showed up and led me down this weird path,

287. like a carcinogenic Siren.

288. - You're welcome. - No, I'm not thanking you.

289. You showed up and everything has gone off.

290. I... I learned something I really didn't want to know.

291. Beatrice, my girlfriend for nine years, has been cheating on me.

292. Whoa. That's very heavy.

293. If you'd like to meet up again, I will be at my birthday party yesterday night.

294. - You're restarting on your birthday? - Ah, yes. Yes, I am.

295. The party's at the old yeshiva on Tenth and A, all right? You can't miss it.

296. And I can tell that you're really bent out of shape about this Beatrice character,

297. but, you know, we literally just met, so, like, none of this is on me.

298. From what I gather, we are in this together.

299. Or...

300. if you think about Faulkner's influence on William Styron...

301. Styron's protagonist...

302. and living with the legacy of slave-holding territories...

303. it lays...

304. very nicely on top of the counter narrative...

305. of German concentration camp survivors.

306. So we have a hero...

307. right, who's... who's haunted by,

308. but maybe romantically

309. compelled by the horrors...

310. Excuse me, this is a private office.

311. Fuck you!

312. Jesus Christ!

313. - Hey, hey, what's going on? - Hey, man, get off of me!

314. - You need to walk away. - No!

315. - You need to go, sir. - Fucking Christ.

316. - You're an asshole. - Who are you?

317. I'm Beatrice's boyfriend.

318. Ah.

319. - Yeah? - You're, uh... You're Alan.

320. - Yeah. - You know this man?

321. It's...

322. We're fine. You can go.

323. No, no, no, you don't know me.

324. Listen, Alan. We can talk about this.

325. - That's enough, all right? That's enough! - Okay, I'm going!

326. Alan... she's unhappy, man.

327. I'm just her excuse to leave.

328. Go to hell.

329. - How's my face? - It's fine.

330. - Yeah? - Yeah.

331. Good.

332. 'Cause the mirror's gone, so I... I can't tell.

333. Twelve.

334. It's gone.