1. Oatmeal.
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2. What the fuck is in this thing?
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3. Fuck.
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4. It's the Cockroach.
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5. "At 87, Dolores Huerta
is a living civil rights icon.
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6. Is this some sort of
a Wikipedia-sponsored voicemail greeting?
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7. No, I'm reading an actual article
in a physical newpaper.
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8. Oh.
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9. Huh, wild.
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10. Can you believe this Huerta woman?
Eleven children.
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11. I don't even have one children.
Divorced twice.
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12. I've been divorced zero times.
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13. Max, if it's any consolation, I promise
that you will get divorced someday.
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14. Oh, thank you so much.
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15. Is this headed somewhere?
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16. Reflecting on my life
and my choices.
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17. I'm sorry about last night.
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18. - I was out of line.
- Ah, no, no.
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19. Cooking brings me great joy,
but it alters my personality.
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20. I forgive you, Maxine.
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21. And you are an amazing host.
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22. Aww!
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23. What I really need to know is...
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24. Yeah?
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25. Where'd you get that Israeli joint from?
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26. - Wardog.
He's selling now?
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27. I thought that he just bought
that bar on Seventh and B.
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28. Well, he's not actually selling...
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29. which is why he's reluctant to say that,
you know, that he is.
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30. - He's actually a very private person.
- Is he still at the 917 number?
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31. Yeah.
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32. Are you gonna tell me what's going on?
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33. - I would...
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
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34. - ... but I think explaining it...
Mm-hmm.
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35. might give us both an aneurysm.
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36. Oh. You know, your friends
can't help you if you don't let them,
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37. as I have said before.
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38. I know.
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39. I got to go, Max. I'll talk to you later.
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40. Ah.
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41. Oh, there you are.
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42. - Twenty-three, fourteen.
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43. And, um... 21—
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44. No, uh, no! Uh, 22.
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45. - And you want to know why 22?
- Why?
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46. 'Cause 22 years ago...
my grandmother died.
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47. It was not sudden.
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48. Hey, Kamile, how are you?
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49. I've been better, Nadia. You?
Eh, long live Allah!
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50. Nice shirt.
- Thanks.
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51. Um, it was—
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52. Cholera is a debilitating disease
and is a terrible way to go.
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53. Mostly, uh, non-fatal.
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54. Hey, Ferran, how's your friend
who was in here last night
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55. who seemed pretty broken up?
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56. - Who?
- I don't know. I didn't get a good look.
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57. I don't know what you're talking about.
It was pretty quiet here last night.
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58. No, a guy comes in. He's your buddy.
Uh, he knocked some stuff around.
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59. You do see somebody else standing here.
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60. Oh, yeah.
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61. Hey, Wardog.
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62. Uh, hey, hey,
it's Nadia Vulvokov calling you.
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63. So listen, man. I know that Mondays
are like your Saturdays,
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64. but, uh, I really need you
to call me back.
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65. It's important. All right?
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66. Thanks.
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67. She tries to call my mom
to find out where I was.
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68. But what she doesn't know
is my mom loves me.
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69. Oh, my gosh.
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70. Oh, wow. Well, let's start review.
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71. Derek, amazing job.
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72. Chad, you killed it.
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73. Nadia...
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74. we found a bug in your code.
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75. - So...
- May I?
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76. Oh, yeah. Yeah, take your time.
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77. Shh.
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78. - Bob left a mistake in here.
- Really?
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79. Yeah, that's why it's not
running correctly. Hold on, I'll fix it.
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80. Look, you don't have to do this
right now, Nadia.
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81. It could be anytime during the day,
all right?
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82. I mean, why not now?
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83. You know, life's short,
carpe diem, et cetera, right?
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84. - Phil?
- Yes?
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85. Okay.
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86. That should do it. Here.
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87. Great.
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88. So next is Chad.
Chad, what you got for us today?
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89. That's my drug dealer. I gotta take this.
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90. I'll be back.
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91. - Nadia.
Hey.
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92. - It's been too long.
- Hey, man.
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93. How are you?
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94. Well, uh... Yeah, I've been better.
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95. It smells like George Plimpton
after a week-long bender in here.
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96. A professional hazard, I'm afraid.
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97. Isn't this place great? It's even got
a secret back room with a password.
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98. - That's great. Listen, Wardog.
- Okay, you twisted my arm.
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99. The password's Jodorowsky's Dune.
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100. Nerd.
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101. So, listen, uh,
these, uh, joints you sold Maxine...
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102. - The Israeli joints?
- Yeah.
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103. Rolled them myself. Did you enjoy?
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104. Is there anything else in them?
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105. I mean, something that could produce
a psychedelic effect?
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106. - Just cocaine.
- From your regular supplier?
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107. Actually, no, a newer guy.
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108. - Who?
- What's this about, Nadia?
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109. All right. Who loves drugs more than me?
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110. You? Nobody.
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111. Who loves orgies more than you?
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112. - This guy.
You. Uh...
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113. And yet, here I am.
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114. I've tried almost every drug ever,
and I can't think of anything
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115. that would cause the kind of meltdown
I'm currently having.
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116. But if it's not the drugs,
uh, it's me, so...
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117. - Yeah.
Yeah?
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118. Is this how you answer the phone now?
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119. I'm a little distracted. What's up?
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120. - You texted me.
Right. Uh...
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121. Did anything weird
happen to you last night?
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122. Yeah, I went to a birthday party
and the guest of honor wasn't there.
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123. Uh...
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124. So look, I think Maxine slipped me
some weird shit last night,
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125. and I don't know
how to convey to you, to her,
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126. to anyone who really cares about me
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127. that I'm experiencing
something truly terrifying,
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128. that I am fucking scared,
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129. that I'm questioning my own sanity,
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130. uh...
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131. and that I may be dead.
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132. Hello?
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133. Are you still there?
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134. Yeah. Just trying to figure out
how I fit into all of this.
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135. Uh, I don't know.
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136. Maybe...
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137. help me.
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138. You know what?
I could skip this meeting
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139. and come down and see you,
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140. but history has taught me that whenever
I swoop down with a rescue plan,
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141. you're out quicker
than you left that party.
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142. So if I come down there,
are you actually going to be there?
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143. All right. You know what?
Do me a favor, John. All right?
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144. Just start fucking other people, okay?
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145. It's been six months.
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146. Hey, I fuck a lot of people!
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147. Oh, yeah? I'll believe it when I see it.
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148. Ah!
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149. - Fuck.
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150. Shit.
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151. Sweet birthday baby, having fun?
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152. Nad? Nemo? Nadia?
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153. Jodorowsky's Dune.
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154. Nadia, whoa. Long time no see.
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155. Happy birthday.
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156. Uh... what is in this?
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157. Israeli joints?
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158. Talk to Daniel.
He helped me put those together as a gift.
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159. Okay. Where is this cocaine from?
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160. - It's not coke.
- It's not?
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161. Okay, full disclosure.
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162. I've been working on this new thing
to help people cope with depression.
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163. - But it's just standard Special K.
- Ketamine?
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164. It's really taking off and helping people.
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165. Cancer patients especially
are responding well to it
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166. as a breakthrough depression medication.
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167. Wow.
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168. That— That's great. You know,
I am happy for those cancer people,
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169. but this wasn't a fucking cancer party.
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170. And now I keep dying
and... reliving the same night.
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171. - Does it hurt?
- You seem fine.
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172. Yes. I'm not fine, okay? Uh...
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173. So check this out about my finger.
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174. Right? I left a mark.
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175. Then I died. I came back.
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176. It's not there.
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177. Is there a history of mental illness
in your family?
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178. - That's not it.
- I only ask because—
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179. No, no, no, it's not me. All right,
understand, all right, it cannot be me.
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180. So, ipso facto, it has to be
your shitty fucking ketamine.
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181. Understand? Thank you.
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182. I am sorry for yelling.
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183. I'm having
a very hard, never-ending night.
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184. All right.
We gotta come back for you.
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185. Why?
Oh, no, let's go this way.
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186. That's the guy I was talking about.
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187. Ferran? Ferran, that's your friend!
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188. No!
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189. Fuck. Again?
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190. Those things are a menace!
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191. Sweet birthday baby!
- Do not offer me that.
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192. Nads, what the fuck?
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193. There is crazy-person
cancer ketamine in there.
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194. What are you talking about?
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195. Wardog and Dr. Daniel told me.
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196. How'd you know that Wardog's my guy now?
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197. Who's Dr. Daniel?
You haven't even tried this.
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198. I'm out of here.
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199. This is a real "fuck this," okay?
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200. Ah!
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201. Fuck! Fuck!
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202. - Sweet birthday baby.
- Why are you doing this to me?
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203. Watch it.
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204. Ah!
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205. - Fuck!
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206. Fuck!
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207. - Sweet birthday baby.
- This some kind of sick fucking fantasy?
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208. Should I get bangs?
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209. This is like The Game.
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210. I'm Michael Douglas!
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211. This is going well.
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212. Ah!
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213. Fuck!
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214. - Sweet birthday baby.
- Look, I got bigger fish to fry, okay?
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215. I got to figure out
how to get down the stairs.
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216. So... you don't want chicken?
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217. Stay the fuck away from me!
I'm coming down the stairs!
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218. Ha-ha! Ha, ha!
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219. Hey! Whoa!
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220. Sweet birthday baby.
- Why?
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221. Why would you give me a joint
that you don't know what's in it?
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222. It's laced with cocaine.
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223. It is not cocaine, Maxine.
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224. It is ketamine,
and I've never done ketamine before.
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225. And it turns out that it fucks me up.
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226. First of all, as far as I know,
it's cocaine,
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227. but I didn't roll these myself,
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228. so if you wanna say they're ketamine,
then I'll go with it.
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229. Ah-ha!
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230. But secondly, we have done ketamine.
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231. Most recently at Lewis' christening.
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232. And you were fine.
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233. I forgot.
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234. - Fuck.
- Okay.
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235. - Nadia, please relax.
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236. I did all of this for you,
including this surprise joint,
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237. - ... because I love—
- Because you think I'm a cockroach.
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238. - What?
- I'm not a cockroach.
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239. You're the cockroach.
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240. Why are you calling me
a cockroach right now?
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241. Because you called me a cockroach.
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242. When? I would never call you a cockroach.
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243. Maxine...
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244. I need you to help me.
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245. You're not helping me.
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246. You're not helping me at all.
You're sabotaging me.
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247. Will you stop acting crazy?
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248. Oh, my God!
I am not crazy! Okay? I am not crazy!
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249. You know I hate it
when people call me crazy.
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250. Look, I get it, all right? I realize
that sounded a little fucking crazy.
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251. All right? I'm just defending myself here.
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252. Okay? This is on her.
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253. Or maybe you're just crazy.
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254. What are you doing?
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255. Hey.
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256. You can't leave. This is your party.
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257. Fucking Monday.
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258. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
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259. Lizzy? Lizzy? Lizzy?
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260. Wake up. Are you up?
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261. Hey.
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262. Thank you.
Oh, shit.
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263. Looks I got mixed up
in something very nice.
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264. Mmm-hmm.
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265. Where's Maxine?
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266. I don't know.
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267. It's Monday, so...
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268. Uh, gyrotonics.
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269. Yeah...
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270. Will you help me out with something?
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271. Okay, dude, all clear.
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272. So what was wrong with the stairs?
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273. Uh, it's a long story
involving multiple deaths.
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274. Yeah, this is much safer.
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275. Look, man...
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276. I'm not crazy.
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277. I'm not judging. I love crazy.
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278. Today I'm helping an artist
make blood jelly
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279. to suspend over
a 13th century mock debtors' prison.
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280. The key is knowing who to ask for help.
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281. In her case, me.
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282. In your case, also me.
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283. Thanks, buddy.
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284. You gonna head back up to the fuck pile?
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285. Mmm...
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286. I gotta brush my teeth.
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287. Fuck that.
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288. - Bye, Lizzy.
Bye.
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289. - I love you.
Love you.
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290. Yes, I'm there, outside the school.
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291. Okay. You see the man's shadow.
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292. How does that make you feel?
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293. Frozen.
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294. Powerless.
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295. Is that belief true now?
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296. No.
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297. No, I know how to ask for things
for myself now,
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298. like— like in my marriage.
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299. And what would you ask for?
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300. I need...
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301. my wife to...
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302. talk to me.
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303. Maybe you talk
when you should just be touched.
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304. Yeah. Can you ask her to hold you?
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305. Yeah.
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306. Ruthie?
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307. Well, hey.
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308. Mmm.
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309. So... you want some tea?
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310. - No.
- Mmm.
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311. I don't want any of this fancy water.
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312. I want to talk to you.
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313. Okay.
What's up, muffin?
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314. I think it's gonna get pretty heavy.
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315. Uh...
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316. Can we go sit downstairs in your office
like I'm an actual patient?
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317. I don't think that would suit you.
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318. You've always liked the kitchen.
Why? Why do I like the kitchen?
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319. Well... sustenance, safety, nourishment,
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320. all the things you were missing
when you were little.
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321. Well...
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322. Uh, I think I might be losing it,
like I'm going crazy.
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323. No, no, no, no, no,
we do not use that word in this house.
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324. Never did, never will.
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325. What was her diagnosis?
Like, what the fuck was wrong with her?
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326. Do not confuse your mother
with her damage.
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327. Last night I died.
What do you mean?
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328. - Last night was my birthday.
- Correct.
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329. I went to Maxine's. Uh...
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330. We got into a fight, so I tried to leave.
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331. I fell down the stairs and broke my neck.
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332. And I died.
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333. - Okay.
Okay.
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334. So then, uh, I'm back at the party.
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335. I try to leave, you know?
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336. Uh, fall down the stairs,
break my neck again.
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337. All right, so...
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338. Um...
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339. I died.
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340. I died.
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341. I died.
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342. I died.
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343. That's four times.
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344. Um...
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345. Also— Also, my cat
just literally disappeared.
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346. You were such a difficult teenager.
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347. We've had some scary times, have we not?
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348. Mm-hmm.
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349. And I always said to you,
if things got really scary,
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350. you would say to me—
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351. Record player, Ruth. Record player.
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352. Are you sure?
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353. Should I call my guy at Bellevue?
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354. - Is it the nicest psych ward?
- It's definitely the closest one.
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355. Darling, I'd get in with you,
but my damn knees.
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356. So I'm gonna grab a cab
and meet you there.
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357. You will not be alone, okay?
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358. Okay. I love you.
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359. Can you please remove
any jewelry and shoelaces?
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360. I don't fuck with shoelaces.
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361. Okay, can we have that necklace then?
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362. Uh...
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363. You know, it's uh— It's my mom's.
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364. So... I'd rather not.
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365. Full name?
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366. Nadia Vulvokov.
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367. V-U-L-V-O-K-O-V.
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368. It's like Volvo,
but with more letters and dyslexic.
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369. Have you hurt yourself
in the last 24 hours?
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370. Not intentionally, no.
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371. Do you feel
you were going to hurt yourself?
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372. No. Uh, absolutely not.
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373. - What day is it today?
- Monday.
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374. If you found a letter with a stamp on it,
what would you do with it?
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375. Is the letter addressed to me?
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376. - Who is the president?
- Hey, what's going on back there?
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377. We got a redhead on board?
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378. Fire in the hole!
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379. Hey, man, you kiss your mommy
with that mouth?
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380. Hey, my mother loves me very much.
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381. Hey, do you need help with that necklace?
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382. No, I decided not to take it off.
Here's the thing.
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383. If I have the wherewithal to assert that
I don't want to comply with your request,
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384. then doesn't that mean that I'm lucid
enough to maintain my own autonomy?
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385. She does seem fairly lucid.
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386. She answered the questions
really quickly, though.
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387. Okay, um, I don't know exactly
what is going on with me.
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388. Uh, but I do know one thing for sure,
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389. and that is that a bunch of mama's boys
don't get to decide if I'm crazy.
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390. So, thank you. I'm out of here.
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391. No, miss, if you don't sit down,
we'll have to restrain you.
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392. Miss Vulvokov, I'm administering
a non-narcotic sedative.
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393. Let me out of here! Let me out!
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394. - Relax. Ryan?
- I'm trying.
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395. - I'm trying.
- Let me out of here!
What is going on back there?
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396. Nobody locks us up.
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397. Let's fuck this party
on the mouth.
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398. There you are. I lost track of you.
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399. Oh!
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400. You're having fun.
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401. Are you kidding me?
This is the greatest party ever.
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402. I mean, we can do whatever we want,
whoever we want.
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403. Thank God I started cooking on Thursday.
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404. Thursday. What a concept.
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405. What do you mean?
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406. Oh, man, it's never gonna be
Thursday again.
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407. It's just always gonna be this party.
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408. And we're just gonna keep coming back.
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409. And my little baby Johnny's back.
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