RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 5x1

1. In 2016,

2. RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

3. changed the rules forever.

4. I will not be eliminating any queens this season.

5. Bitch, what?

6. Each week, the top two All Stars

7. will lip sync for their legacy.

8. The winner of the lip sync will be given the power

9. to eliminate one of the bottom queens.

10. With great power comes great responsibility.

11. It's a new decade, a new season,

12. with new rules.

13. We're going to do eliminations

14. a little differently this season.

15. You never know what or who fate may throw your way.

16. Ru-veal yourself!

17. The Ru-volution starts now!

18. I'm bla-ack.

19. I'm Shea Couleé.

20. I know y'all have missed me, but it's all okay.

21. Wow, Ru.

22. Love what you've done with the place.

23. She's a great dancer.

24. She's a great entertainer. She's a great actress.

25. Oh! 23 skiddoo.

26. I won four challenges on Season 9.

27. Vote, bitch.

28. I felt really confident that I had it in the bag.

29. This was my spot on Season 9.

30. Feels kind of lucky.

31. I was really confident.

32. But as those rose petals fell

33. at the Season 9 finale,

34. it was like watching my dreams

35. just fall right out of my hands.

36. I felt like such a disappointment.

37. I'm sorry, my dear. This is not your time.

38. Mine. This time, I came to win.

39. Season 9 was a taste.

40. That was the amuse-bouches.

41. We're about to get into the entree.

42. We might even get a little dessert.

43. You're about to get served.

44. Crack-tion!

45. Guess who's cracking the house, girl?

46. My name is Miz Cracker.

47. I am 35...

48. pounds heavier than I was in Season 10.

49. Miz Cracker, you're nasty.

50. And I'm disgusting.

51. Is there a hole in the bottom of that box?

52. Absolutely.

53. The first time around I did well,

54. but I was so worried about being absolutely perfect...

55. Cracker, you did it perfect once.

56. You can do it that way again.

57. I fucked myself.

58. You'll never be good enough.

59. She's too interested

60. in trying to control how we see her.

61. It's, like, let it all hang out, bitch.

62. Look at this woman!

63. So this time I'm just gonna let things flow

64. from my distorted brain.

65. We've been trying to get together and do a thing.

66. Yes. Yeah, we're doing the biggest of things.

67. Shea Couleé is talented, beautiful, funny,

68. and the worst thing is she is a great person.

69. I hate her.

70. I thought they were gonna save the best for last,

71. and I was the opposite of right.

72. Boricuain the house to take the crown.

73. Sickening, no?

74. I'm Alexis Mateo from Season 3

75. and All Stars 1.

76. Bam! Bam! Bam!

77. - Bam! - Bam!

78. Bam.

79. I'm a fucking drag queen.

80. Every time I counted you out, you shut me up.

81. I am a well-rounded entertainer.

82. I can sing, I can dance, I can act,

83. and I'm fucking Puerto Rican, bitch.

84. Just like the movie Gremlins,

85. I got wet one day and had a drag baby

86. named Vanessa Vanjie Mateo.

87. You know, when you have somebody that is that gorgeous

88. and that messy, you know it's my daughter.

89. Appreciate you. Cut the check later, bitch.

90. You're welcome.

91. Coming into this competition,

92. I'm older and wiser and stronger than ever.

93. It's Alexis world, and the rest is fucking parking.

94. Feathers, feathers, feathers.

95. - Put them in a zoo. - Exactly.

96. - I am all zoo today, girl. - It's pretty.

97. Well, I do declare.

98. Blair St. Clair is all grownup now...

99. bitches.

100. I'm Blair St. Clair from Season 10,

101. and I've finally gone through puberty.

102. Well, almost.

103. You look really young.

104. - Bitch! - Bitch!

105. Season 10 was terrifying.

106. It's actually been really hard being here without my mom.

107. I think I was really hiding who I was

108. because I wanted everyone to like me.

109. Blair, hold on, Blair. You okay?

110. I'm good. I'm happy. I'm good.

111. Today I see myself as a strong bitch.

112. She's always looking wet.

113. That's what your man said last night.

114. Strong, independent bitch.

115. And people needs to remember that and watch out for that,

116. 'cause I wanna win.

117. My drag's changed a lot,

118. and I think some people are gonna be a little shocked.

119. But that's what I'm here to do. I'm here to shock 'em.

120. - Yes. - Uh-huh.

121. Blair St. Clair came out

122. with some good air under her booty, baby.

123. Why you so cocky, girl?

124. She will crack under pressure, though.

125. In a room full of 10s,

126. I'm always grand prize.

127. She's here to save the day.

128. I'm Mariah Balenciaga, AKA Mariah Paris,

129. AKA Mariah Successful,

130. AKA Miss Queen of All Stars Season 5.

131. Prepare to gag on my eleganza.

132. Aah!

133. We are the ones who are innovators

134. and the driving force behind progress in humanity.

135. She has a beautiful face.

136. Season 3, I got "You're poised,

137. you're beautiful, you're elegant."

138. But my downfall was my Snatch Game.

139. That is not a wire hanger.

140. It's a wooden hanger.

141. It's too much.

142. Give me my pocketbook. I'm leaving.

143. And it's taken me almost 10 years

144. to refine my stage presence and get back here.

145. And they're not gonna goop me on this one.

146. Not this pageant.

147. Good to see you. You look stunning.

148. I want to eat you like a palm tree.

149. Oh.

150. - I'm curious. - More and more sparkles.

151. - Oh! - Oh.

152. India 2.0 here.

153. Remodeled, remastered, and ready for action.

154. Surprise, bitches.

155. India Ferrah from Season 3.

156. Aow!

157. There is a "hell, no" storm, okay?

158. On Season 3, I couldn't break through my shyness.

159. Prison, honey.

160. I'm still waiting for your personality to come through.

161. Sadly, one of the only things I'm known for

162. is being picked up by Mimi on first.

163. Get her off of me!

164. Drag is not a contact sport.

165. But there's so much more to me,

166. and I'm ready to show it.

167. Season 3 in the house.

168. Season 3, bitch.

169. Oh, look at this.

170. - We're a set.

171. Same colors.

172. Ooh, is this a rerun of Season 3?

173. Cue western music.

174. This is nuts.

175. - Girl, I'm gonna need that. - I'll trade you, bitch.

176. Of course, I'll have to have it taken in.

177. I'll be absolutely swimming in it.

178. I'm Jujubee from Season 2 of RuPaul's Drag Race

179. and Season 1 of All Stars.

180. Third time's the charm.

181. - Ooh. - Ooh.

182. Come on, Grandma Barbie.

183. I have never been blown like that in my life.

184. Miss Jujubee, you give good mouth.

185. Fuck you.

186. Tyra, was your barbecue canceled?

187. Your grill is fucked.

188. I made it to top three twice.

189. It is time to take the crown.

190. Why not Jujubee?

191. Give me the crown, RuPaul.

192. Can I have the crown?

193. Please.

194. Okay, I am so dressed for all of your funerals,

195. 'cause I'm gonna kill you all.

196. Get ready, baby.

197. You've aged so well.

198. Oh, like cheese.

199. Miss Jujubee has stepped her pussy up.

200. This is like I am the pussy staircase.

201. You know what's kind of funny.

202. It's like if we ink in a printer,

203. like, it runs out by the time it gets...

204. Whoo!

205. Oh.

206. Whoo!

207. Ooh, I did it again.

208. Whoo!

209. I'm Derrick Barry and I'm from Season 8.

210. It's Derrick, Bitch. You know me.

211. - Hey, Derrick.

212. When I first came to Drag Race,

213. I was focused on being the best Britney Spears impersonator

214. in the world.

215. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yeah.

216. I got so used to doing one thing

217. that I really struggled to show people

218. what else I can do.

219. I put myself in a Britney box,

220. and I'm doing my best to get out of that.

221. Since my season, I've taken my drag

222. to a whole new realm.

223. And now I'm coming back

224. to show I don't just do Britney.

225. There's also this other part of me

226. that does all these other amazing things.

227. - Hi. - Hi.

228. - Hi, gorg. - How are you?

229. What's going on?

230. - Hi. - Hey, girl.

231. There's only one queen I don't get along with,

232. and it's India Ferrah.

233. She has got me, girl.

234. India has these online rants that are negative.

235. She's toxic.

236. Maybe she's all good with giving fake hugs,

237. but I really don't have much to say to her.

238. I didn't come to crash a party.

239. I came to end it.

240. I am Mayhem "The Drama" Miller.

241. from RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10.

242. I think you look adorable.

243. I'm gagging over your look.

244. I started off strong.

245. The creativity is off the charts.

246. I won the first challenge,

247. and then it kind of just kind of went like this.

248. When I was here for Season 10,

249. I did not push myself

250. to the level of greatness that I know I have.

251. I played it safe.

252. Did you say something to your team?

253. No, because I wanted to be a team player.

254. - Hi. - Hello.

255. Season 10's in the house.

256. This time around, I just can't hold back.

257. I wanna make believers out of the non-believers

258. and show exactly why she got the call.

259. You smell rich.

260. Thank you. I farted.

261. I hear something.

262. Dragging something?

263. - Oh. - Oh.

264. So y'all thought I'd never get here.

265. Sorry. I was stuck in traffique.

266. My name is Ongina.

267. I'm from the very first season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

268. You look good.

269. The one that started this whole shenanigans.

270. - Ongina. - Hi-ee.

271. Oh. Ooh, this ain't no truck stop, honey.

272. My name is Connie Chung.

273. Because life is a celebration.

274. You're the winner of this challenge.

275. Somebody said All Stars 5?

276. - Yes! - Yes!

277. I'm finally on All Stars, bitch.

278. I'm so excited.

279. But I'm super nervous

280. because everything literally has changed.

281. But I have been changing as well,

282. and I'm excited to show everyone my 10 year glow-up.

283. So here it is and enjoy.

284. You're welcome.

285. Ow! My eye!

286. Oh, my God. Sorry.

287. Sorry. I mean, at least somebody fucking tried.

288. Ongina is a Drag Racelegend.

289. Point blank, period.

290. Here's the T.

291. I hope y'all don't think

292. that we're just here to play around.

293. Oh, I don't think so.

294. No. I believe you guys might bring it.

295. Uh-oh.

296. - Oh. - You already started?

297. I mean—look.

298. You know I like to shoot quickly.

299. You were also quick to finish on your season, though.

300. Oh.

301. Hello, hello, hello.

302. Look who's here.

303. Yay!

304. Welcome home.

305. My girls are all grown up.

306. Now, to earn your place in the Drag RaceHall of Fame,

307. you need to do more than just win challenges.

308. You need to win over your peers

309. or do whatever it takes to outsmart them.

310. And this season, we're doing things a little differently.

311. It's a new game with new rules.

312. What's the gag, girl?

313. I've seen the show. I know it's coming.

314. Oh, yes, honey, the shit got heavy.

315. - Fuck!

316. Fuck!

317. Wow.

318. Oh, there's a gag?

319. The winner ofRuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

320. receives a one-year supply

321. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

322. a coveted spot in theDrag Race Hall of Fame,

323. and a cash prize of $100,000.

324. With extra special guest judge Ricky Martin.

325. This season, we're doing things a little differently.

326. It's a new game with new rules.

327. For the first time in All Starsherstory,

328. it's not just the top All Stars of the week

329. who will have the power

330. to eliminate one of the bottom queens.

331. Each week, each of you will vote

332. for the bottom queen you think deserves the chop.

333. - What? - Oh, my God.

334. Everybody gets a vote?

335. Everybody?

336. We are in the upside down now.

337. - Wow, Ru. - That's right, baby.

338. You all have the power,

339. and that's why we call it a Ru-mocracy.

340. Oh.

341. - Okay. - I see what you did.

342. But more on that later.

343. I have so many questions.

344. Now for your first All Starmini-challenge,

345. the library is open.

346. All right.

347. Is it this way?

348. Oh, my God.

349. What?

350. What, what, what?

351. Ladies, give a big Drag Racewelcome

352. to Ricky Martin.

353. Ricky Martin, bitch.

354. Oh, my God.

355. Now, Ricky, have you ever read a queen before?

356. No, but I would like to try.

357. Good. Well, you can try on me.

358. Oh.

359. RuPaul.

360. - Oh. - Oh.

361. Hmm.

362. I have no idea what he just said,

363. but I didn't like the sound of it.

364. - You know what? - What?

365. - You know what? - What?

366. Oh!

367. Ru...

368. Give me a break.

369. Oh, no!

370. And that concludes today's lesson

371. in bilingual shade.

372. Yes!

373. Now, Queens, in the grand tradition

374. of Paris Is Burning.

375. it's time for some serious reading.

376. Because reading is what?

377. - Fundamental. - Fundamental.

378. That's right.

379. All right, first queen up, Alexis Mateo.

380. Oh, my God.

381. - Boricua. - Yes.

382. There you go, mama.

383. Take these glasses from Marek & Richard

384. and assume the position.

385. Ooh, these glasses make you all look ugly.

386. Oh, it's not the glasses.

387. Jujubee, I can't wait to see

388. your clearance retail store collection you brought.

389. - Ooh. - Oh.

390. Blair St. Clair, Bitch, you look hungry.

391. Eat a burger.

392. Girl, whatever weight I lost, you found.

393. Well, look at you, papi.

394. Hey, mama, here you go.

395. Oh, my dear friend Derrick Barry.

396. You are a Las Vegas showgirl.

397. And you're also a lost Vegas showgirl.

398. 'Cause why the hell are you here?

399. Ongina.

400. I can't to put you on top of my Christmas tree.

401. Hee hee hee.

402. - Mayhem Miller. - Yes?

403. I think maybe you should

404. switch out the Miller for Coors Light.

405. India Ferrah.

406. This shade is all real.

407. It's no wonder you work in a place

408. called Piranha in Las Vegas

409. because with those teeth,

410. you're a walking billboard for them.

411. And also, I'm really surprised to see you,

412. because I thought you had retired,

413. and now I just see that you're tired.

414. Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

415. Great. You're here, so we have to change the name

416. to RuPaul's Drag Race Some Stars.

417. Mayhem Filler.

418. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

419. I mean, Meh-hem Miller.

420. Oh!

421. Alexis Mateo.

422. I don't wanna be shady,

423. so I'm not gonna bring up your weight.

424. But when you work, do they pay you in pounds?

425. - Bitch. - Jujubee, the shade.

426. Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

427. You look like what would happen

428. if Will Smith absorbed Jada Pinkett.

429. Ongina.

430. Thank you so much

431. for taking time out of your busy schedule

432. of auditioning for All Stars

433. to finally join us on All Stars.

434. Wow.

435. India Ferrah.

436. I' not gonna read you 'cause I'd never kick a man...

437. While he's down.

438. Okay, Blair St. Clair.

439. - You know me. - Mm-hmm.

440. I don't read somebody

441. unless I have a genuine respect for them.

442. So I think we're done here.

443. Oh, Miz Cracker, you remind me of my childhood

444. picking Adam's apples.

445. Shea Couleé.

446. Why so emotional, baby?

447. - Ooh! - Oh!

448. - Mayhem Miller. - Hi.

449. Every time I look at your face,

450. I'm always reminded it's 5:00 somewhere.

451. - Oh! - Oh!

452. Derrick Barry.

453. You give us Britney like it's always 2008.

454. Now, Ru, can we go ahead and open the door

455. and #FreeBritney?

456. Shea Couleé, you always say that you've come to slay.

457. How hard are you gonna slay this season?

458. Is that a question or a read?

459. No, it's a read.

460. I'm trying my best, you guys.

461. Alexis Mateo.

462. You actually have a really good chance

463. of winning this competition

464. because they've never had a Puerto Rican

465. or a big girl winner.

466. Right.

467. Yeah.

468. Okay, the crickets aren't even laughing.

469. Derrick Barry. You know, the girls in your season

470. said you weren't a real drag queen

471. because you couldn't paint and you could only do Britney,

472. but I completely disagree.

473. I don't really think you can do Britney.

474. Mariah, girl I love you,

475. but your career only has movement

476. because the earth has to spin on its axis.

477. And India Ferrah.

478. Oh, I'm pausing so we can all Google who you are.

479. Ladies, la biblioteca is closed officially.

480. And not a moment too soon.

481. Would you please tell the ladies who won?

482. So we have a tie.

483. - What? - We do.

484. We've got a tie between Jujubee...

485. - Oh! - Oh!

486. And Blair St. Clair.

487. Wow!

488. Con-drag-ulations.

489. You've each won a $2,000 gift card

490. from Marek & Richard.

491. Float like a butterfly, sting like a Jujubee.

492. Now, ladies, since 2017,

493. the Werq The Worldtour

494. has starred legends like Aquaria,

495. Bob the Drag Queen,

496. and Violet Chachki,

497. just to name a few.

498. For this week's maxi-challenge,

499. you'll be headlining

500. in the Werq The World variety extravaganza

501. with an act

502. showcasing your own charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

503. And for those of you at home,

504. to find out when the tour is coming to your city.

505. All Stars, start your engines...

506. and may the best woman win.

507. Come on, Ricky.

508. - Thank you. - See you later.

509. - Bye-bye. - Bye.

510. - Bye. - Bye-ee.

511. Oh, my God.

512. I already claimed my space.

513. Oh, my God, it's heavy.

514. Look what I'm doing, Miz Cracker.

515. I'm taking both of ours over.

516. - Oh, my goodness. - See?

517. I'll surely save you if you're in the bottom.

518. Mariah, I found your size.

519. These are a 15.

520. So how you feeling about this new twist

521. where we're all voting?

522. Like, is this going by friendship

523. or who likes who?

524. But what is the lip sync situation?

525. That what I want to know.

526. Like, will we still be lip syncing for our legacy

527. and then like—

528. There's something missing in here,

529. and I know Mama Ru has something—

530. She cooking something, girl.

531. We've been doing the math,

532. and something it's not adding up.

533. For real.

534. I'm gonna play it really fairly,

535. unless someone is, like, being mean to me. Just kidding.

536. I mean, clearly me and Derrick do not get along.

537. You don't?

538. Mmm, juicy T.

539. I don't deal with fake people,

540. and that is—I can't.

541. I feel like they're talking about us.

542. When I quit performing at Piranha,

543. they hired Nebraska, Derrick's boyfriend,

544. and she did a number dedicated towards me

545. showing a lot of negative, hateful bullshit.

546. What y'all talking about?

547. That me and Derrick do not speak to each other at all.

548. Who?

549. Derrick Barry.

550. Oh, so it's gonna be some shit.

551. This is day one,

552. and the girls brought the beef to this salad, baby.

553. Welcome to All Stars, people.

554. It's crazy, right?

555. Girl, the gag is real.

556. Coming up...

557. You called her a pig in a wig.

558. Oh, my God.

559. There is beef, and everyone is eating it.

560. I don't fuck with two-faced people.

561. I love this.

562. - This is it, bitch. - Bitch.

563. Mm, mm, mm.

564. - Derrick. - Yeah?

565. What are you doing for talent?

566. Like, 15 impersonations in a minute.

567. - Can you do that? - Well, I hope so.

568. It's my talent I hope.

569. I guess you're talented enough to do it.

570. Just kidding.

571. We're getting ready for our first maxi-challenge.

572. It's the Werq The World talent show.

573. This is gonna be fun.

574. There's a lot of pressure to show the judges

575. how much we've evolved.

576. Can you do me?

577. Can you do me?

578. I'm scared about All Stars.

579. I am. I'm, like, nervous

580. because I haven't been in this werkroom

581. for, like, 11 years,

582. and the competition has gotten tougher.

583. Like, sometimes I sit there and I watch it,

584. and I'm, like, could I do that challenge?

585. Tell me about this India Ferrah stuff.

586. Oh, why?

587. I just wanna know.

588. I'm such a gossip.

589. I literally just found out over there,

590. so I'm asking you about it.

591. I'm not surprised that India

592. can't keep my name out of her mouth

593. because obviously she's obsessed.

594. So are you guys not friends?

595. I have her blocked on everything.

596. She comes for girls in every single season.

597. - She does? - Mm-hmm.

598. Ooh, let me go ask if she's come for me.

599. - Nobody comes for you. - Nobody comes for her.

600. No, literally.

601. You guys are mean.

602. I wanna be Regina George.

603. - We are the Mean Girls? - We are.

604. What are y'all doing for your talents?

605. Or are y'all trying to keep it fucking top secret?

606. I'm doing the second version of the reading challenge.

607. I thought I'd extend it because I was so funny.

608. Yes.

609. Well, Derrick was the one that went in.

610. Ooh!

611. Do you guys both live in Vegas right now?

612. Yeah.

613. Oh, so you work together a lot?

614. - I never work with her. - Oh.

615. Girl, there is beef between India and Derrick,

616. and everyone is eating it.

617. It is a brisket.

618. We are here for the pot luck.

619. Wait, so what's the original beef?

620. I love this.

621. India got fired from Piranha.

622. I quit Piranha.

623. If you quit, why do you need to say

624. "this establishment will hire anybody now?"

625. And it did.

626. You can't just be happy for people.

627. If you quit, someone else needs to get the job.

628. Why would I be happy for someone that does a number

629. that disrespects me and puts my name in it?

630. Why would I wanna be happy for her?

631. That was after you called her a pig in a wig.

632. It was not to her.

633. Like, girl, she is a stick.

634. She is not a pig in a wig. It was not to her.

635. You're two-faced, and I don't fuck with two-faced people.

636. But you know what, India?

637. I think you being here

638. is going to make you feel more validated,

639. and I think that maybe that's what you needed.

640. And so I'm happy that you're here.

641. Oh, my God.

642. All this shit.

643. Blocked.

644. Whatever you're saying is bouncing right back to you,

645. and that's gonna hurt you in the long run.

646. Remember, every superhero has an enemy.

647. Coming up...

648. I'm gagged.

649. These bitches are not playing games.

650. And what?

651. Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.

652. International sensation Michelle Vishage.

653. That's shme.

654. It's not easy to say!

655. I'm a shen-shation!

656. Style superstar Carson Kressley.

657. Now, do you have any hidden talents?

658. I did, but I had them removed for health reasons.

659. Jot down the number of your doctor for me.

660. The hilarious Ross Mathews.

661. Are you here for the meet-and-greet?

662. Just the meet, Ru, just the meet.

663. And the king of Latin pop, Ricky Martin.

664. Now, serious question.

665. What's your favorite place in the world?

666. My favorite place in the world is Puerto Rico.

667. Hey, you know what, let's go now!

668. Let's go. Come on!

669. This week, we challenged our queens

670. to show off their charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

671. in a Werq the World variety extravaganza.

672. All Stars, start your engines,

673. and may the best woman win.

674. Welcome to the Werq the World extravaganza,

675. starring the All Stars of Season 5.

676. This is gonna be fun.

677. Let's hear it for Alexis Mateo.

678. Sickening, no?

679. Perra!

680. Perra!

681. Bam!

682. Bam!

683. Let's go, girls!

684. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

685. Ricky Martin is watching me,

686. so I wanted to get really spicy up in this bitch.

687. Give it up for Shea Couleé.

688. Here she is, Mayhem Miller.

689. The eyes, the eyes!

690. I am the queen!

691. Queen of the party!

692. And now, Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

693. Werk!

694. All right, Miss Mariah Angelou.

695. Make the people think.

696. Welcome, Miz Cracker.

697. He-he-hello.

698. You know, I've been through so many things in my life

699. and learned so much.

700. But it wasn't until I opened a new jar of joy

701. and learned to relish life

702. that I finally told the world I actually am a cracker.

703. - Ouch! - ♪ That's my lady bits

704. Shabbat shablam!

705. My heart sinks, my stomach goes straight to my throat.

706. These bitches are not playing games.

707. I need to give the performance of my life.

708. Coming up...

709. - Aah! Aah! - You like that?

710. Welcome back to the Werq The Worldextravaganza.

711. I do declare, it's Blair St. Clair.

712. You like that?

713. Up next, Ongina.

714. Give a warm welcome to Derrick Barry.

715. It's Britney, y'all!

716. No, I'm just kidding.

717. So before I did All Stars,

718. I wanted to call some celebrity friends for some advice.

719. So here's a little rundown.

720. Lady Bunny. You'd better make top two,

721. otherwise you're just a bottom to two boyfriends.

722. Kaitlyn. So I have some dresses of Kris's

723. if you need to borrow any.

724. Madonna. Wearing a kimono is a no-go.

725. Tell Michelle Visage that she's not me, but ask her

726. if she wants to adopt or borrow a baby from Malawi.

727. Cher. You called me after Madonna?

728. Fuck you!

729. Miley. Oh, my God, my dad is gonna pitch a tent.

730. Celine. I think you should go for it! Whoo!

731. Cynthia. Show them your cuckoo mis amores.

732. Laganja. Yes, God, honey money,

733. the house down boots, okurrr?

734. Thank you guys so much. Have a good night!

735. I want to like Derrick's so badly.

736. Wait, I did forget one.

737. I also called Joan Rivers,

738. and she said, "I didn't say anything.

739. I am dead, you fucking moron. Ahh!"

740. Thank you!

741. Please enjoy the vocal stylings of Jujubee.

742. That is passion coming out her throat.

743. Put your hands together for India Ferrah.

744. Ladies and gentlemen, the rules are very simple.

745. No lifting, no touching, no holding, no moving.

746. Do not disturb the queen that you see before your very eyes.

747. So listen up.

748. Drag is not a contact sport.

749. Bam!

750. Drag is not a contact sport!

751. Drag is not a contact sport!

752. Drag is not a contact sport!

753. Okay, God, I shouldn't have did that.

754. Drag is not a contact sport!

755. Coming up...

756. Ladies, each week I'll choose one top All Star.

757. Not two.

758. Oh, my God.

759. Welcome, ladies.

760. Hi.

761. From this moment on,

762. All Starrules have been suspended...

763. forever!

764. - Bitch. - What?

765. That's right, we're gonna do eliminations

766. a little differently this season.

767. Each week I'll choose one top All Star,

768. not two.

769. In the werkroom, the top All Star

770. will secretly choose the lipstick

771. of the bottom queen she thinks should go home.

772. And all of the rest of you will cast your vote

773. for the bottom queen you think should get the chop.

774. Oh, my God.

775. And yes, the top All Star of the week

776. will lip sync for her legacy,

777. but she'll be competing against...

778. a secret lip sync assassin.

779. Oh, my God.

780. - Oh. - What?

781. If the top All Star wins the lip sync,

782. the bottom queen she chose will get the chop.

783. Now, if the lip sync assassin wins,

784. she will reveal the lipstick

785. of the queen that the group has voted to go home.

786. Miss Thing, if I'd had lenses in these,

787. they would have popped out, bitch.

788. Now, when I call your name, please step forward.

789. Shea Couleé.

790. Blair St. Clair.

791. Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

792. Jujubee.

793. You are all safe.

794. - Can I say something? - Yes, please.

795. Mariah, your performance had a very beautiful message,

796. and the fact that you brought that message

797. I think is very important.

798. So for that, I really thank you.

799. Thank you.

800. Yeah.

801. Safe queens may leave the stage.

802. Ladies, you represent

803. the tops and bottoms of the week.

804. Now it's time for the judges' critiques,

805. starting with Miz Cracker.

806. Hello.

807. It was really fun, it was really funny.

808. You stuck with your pickle theme,

809. and I thought your act was hilarious.

810. You're the real dill.

811. That phallic entrance was everything.

812. I mean, you're talking about pickles,

813. I just saw a beautiful phallic shape walking on stage,

814. and I loved it.

815. That's funny, Ricky.

816. We think that when we see you.

817. You've created for yourself this little lane

818. that is so identifiable with Cracker.

819. And then you reveal this glamour.

820. This is stu-un-ni-ing-uh.

821. - Thank you. - Thank you, Cracker.

822. Shabbat shablam.

823. Shabbat shablam, Ru.

824. Up next, Alexis Mateo.

825. Hi-ee.

826. I was blown away by your performance tonight.

827. Oh, thank you.

828. I never wanted it to end.

829. You were having so much fun.

830. Everybody wanted to party with you.

831. When you were on stage, you were not alone.

832. It was you and all your ancestors,

833. and I appreciated that.

834. I'll even forgive that one-inch heel that you have on your foot.

835. Hey, you gonna like them, goddamn it.

836. I stoned them for you.

837. Thanks, you guys.

838. Up next, India Ferrah.

839. You know, India, it was good to see you in particular here,

840. because I know that after your season

841. you had a very public break-up with the art of drag.

842. Yes. Drag stopped being fun for a minute

843. because I let it get to me,

844. and I took anger and put it on the Internet

845. and put it on social media,

846. and I went into a very deep, dark hole.

847. Luckily, I was strong enough to pull myself out,

848. and I'm in a much better place.

849. You performed tonight

850. like somebody who has something to prove,

851. and I loved it.

852. I have one word for you.

853. - Yes? - Hairography.

854. - Yes! - Ahh!

855. - That was— - Here, I'll get that for you.

856. - Aah! - There you go.

857. - Explosive, baby. - Thank you.

858. Explosive.

859. You killed every second of this performance.

860. I thought it was nearly perfect.

861. Thank you.

862. All right, up next, Derrick Barry.

863. I want to compliment you first

864. on not coming out here and just relying on Britney.

865. Yay

866. - However... - Oh.

867. The impersonations were not great.

868. If you did not tell us who they were before you did them,

869. I might have gotten maybe two.

870. My advice, if you separate a little bit

871. between character and character,

872. it would probably allow us

873. to kind of grasp a little bit better.

874. Here's what I would love to get from you.

875. Rather than an impression of Britney

876. or an impression of 13, 14 other celebrities,

877. I would just love to get Derrick Barry.

878. Who are you?

879. What do you have to say?

880. All right, up next, Mayhem Miller.

881. Let's talk about your diction.

882. I couldn't really understand the words to the song,

883. and if you can't hear what you're saying,

884. I'm losing the story.

885. Okay.

886. The entrance was very powerful, and then it didn't take me

887. to where I thought you were going to take us.

888. I was so excited about where it was gonna go,

889. and then when it went there, I thought, oh,

890. can we go back to where we were?

891. Up next, Ongina.

892. Hi-ee.

893. I love that you had a whole production number

894. in the Drag Racetheme, and it was cute.

895. It kind of didn't go anywhere after you had two reveals.

896. You're kind of just left there, like, okay,

897. I guess I'll just dance now.

898. It stalled a little bit.

899. I just got super nervous for some reason,

900. and that's really crazy, because I perform.

901. Like, I love performing.

902. I know what kind of show you can put on.

903. I also know how nerves can wipe that all out.

904. I wish I could have done better.

905. All right, ladies, based on the judges' critiques,

906. I've made some decisions.

907. India Ferrah...

908. con-drag-ulations.

909. You're the top All Star of the week.

910. What?

911. That means the world to me. Thank you.

912. You've won a five-day stay in Reykjavik, Iceland,

913. hotel and airfare included, courtesy of Pink Iceland.

914. Yes!

915. Derrick Barry,

916. Mayhem Miller,

917. you are the bottom All Stars of the week.

918. The rest of you are safe.

919. You may leave the stage.

920. Coming up...

921. I had a bad day.

922. All the queens get a vote.

923. RuPaul... what the fuck?

924. Keep me, bitch.

925. Ru-veal yourself!

926. Mama, the drama.

927. Oh, shit.

928. Oh, someone feels good!

929. Someone feels real good right here.

930. Oh, they all look so delightful.

931. Oh, bitch, I fucking did it!

932. Now these girls know to watch out.

933. - Congratulations. - Oh, my God, congratulations!

934. Thank you.

935. Aah!

936. How do you feel right now?

937. It's crazy.

938. It's so overwhelming and exciting.

939. And the bottom two is Derrick and Mayhem.

940. I'm gonna be honest.

941. I thought it was gonna be Ongina and Mayhem.

942. I was surprised, too.

943. You guys, I don't know what happened.

944. I was like, okay, I'm fucking this up.

945. I'm just gonna do a little shimmy here

946. and a little shimmy there.

947. Well, that's what happens when you get in your head.

948. Yeah, I know, and I've been in my head all fucking week.

949. But, like, an All Star believes in themselves.

950. - I literally did not. - I know.

951. I wanna talk to each of you, if you don't mind.

952. Yeah, I would love to.

953. I think I'm gonna take you first.

954. Okay. My fate is in the hands of India,

955. and that's a little scary,

956. that I might be pleading a case

957. to a jury that's already decided.

958. I wanna know why you wanna be here.

959. I need to be here

960. because people need to see the fully realized queen.

961. So my influences and my drag is what I have to bring.

962. Don't hide behind the impersonations.

963. People need to see a fiercer, darker, dramatic Derrick.

964. If you're gonna deliver her.

965. - Yeah. - Okay.

966. I'll take that into consideration.

967. - Okay. - Yeah.

968. And congratulations. You deserved it.

969. I love what you said to the judges.

970. And knowing that you are vulnerable

971. is all I needed to know that you are real.

972. You guys know I was in mock trial in high school,

973. and I've been to court many times, so...

974. Let me tell you about this real quick.

975. I think I have more than she does.

976. I think my drag is more well-rounded,

977. and I'm here and I'm ready to work.

978. I know how magnetic you are,

979. and I wasn't feeling that magnetism.

980. I wasn't feeling being drawn in as much.

981. I had a bad day.

982. I still haven't decided yet, so don't look at me.

983. All the queens get a vote,

984. and I don't know what criteria they're using.

985. All I know is

986. I was more entertained by Derrick's performance

987. than I was with Mayhem's.

988. Should she go home? I don't know.

989. RuPaul, what the fuck?

990. Can you tell us why you're the one to stay?

991. I thought that it was successful,

992. and the audience was laughing.

993. Of course, I could have slayed it as Britney and won, but—

994. I thought you were doing Britney the entire time.

995. I swear to you.

996. I also did kind of think that as well.

997. You did Britney in look.

998. Yeah, I kind of got that, and I—

999. Well, that's my drag, though.

1000. I know.

1001. I really do feel like if I wore this,

1002. then I'm a version of Britney.

1003. Toxic Britney.

1004. If I'm wearing that,

1005. I'm Dream Within a Dream Britney.

1006. What about this?

1007. This is giving me red carpet Britney.

1008. Um...

1009. Oh, I didn't wanna do that.

1010. People are always saying, I wanna see the real you.

1011. Well, you're looking at it.

1012. It's like you tell me that you want me to be somebody else,

1013. but you want me to be somebody else

1014. from the somebody else that I already am.

1015. Bitch, I'm a fan of yours. You know that.

1016. - Thank you. - Yeah.

1017. But it's a hard decision

1018. because I didn't hear all the lyrics,

1019. and I wanna know that I'm not gonna see this again.

1020. The thing is, I'm not giving up.

1021. I wanna stay, and I feel I deserve to stay.

1022. Can I ask you something?

1023. If I am ever in this position...

1024. Okay, let's talk.

1025. - I mean... - Let's talk.

1026. Would you get rid of me or...

1027. India's presenting to me an alliance possibly.

1028. Hmm.

1029. Here's the deal.

1030. If I'm ever in that chair and you over here,

1031. I got you.

1032. - Okay. - You know what's up.

1033. Interesting. Okay.

1034. I came here to play,

1035. and the more friends you have in this game,

1036. the longer you last.

1037. - Keep me, bitch. - Bitch.

1038. Ugh, the first elimination of the season.

1039. Everything's different now.

1040. This is a Ru-mocracy.

1041. Anything can happen.

1042. Trump is president, chaos reigns.

1043. Girl, this was a difficult one,

1044. but I got to go with my guts.

1045. I wish I could have done this to a jackass.

1046. I'm not going home this early,

1047. and I think that my sisters in the werkroom

1048. know I have more to give.

1049. I'm Mayhem. Duh.

1050. Sorry, girl.

1051. To take away someone's chance,

1052. to pick a lipstick, put it in there,

1053. and possibly send that girl home,

1054. that's a lot of power.

1055. But I am here to fight for the crown,

1056. and let's be honest here.

1057. This has been a long time coming.

1058. Welcome back, ladies.

1059. Now, to earn your place in the Drag RaceHall of Fame,

1060. you need to persevere,

1061. no matter what or who fate throws your way.

1062. Ladies, the time has come...

1063. to present this week's

1064. lip sync assassin!

1065. Oh, my God.

1066. Who is it?

1067. This is gonna be some T.

1068. - Ooh. - Oh.

1069. Mama, the drama.

1070. Who is this queen?

1071. Oh, my God, who the fuck can it be?

1072. Who? Show me!

1073. Ru-veal yourself!

1074. This is crazy.

1075. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

1076. Yay!

1077. No way!

1078. Yvie Oddly, Season 11 winner of RuPaul's Drag Race.

1079. I've seen that bitch perform.

1080. She turns it.

1081. Oh, my God.

1082. But I'm ready.

1083. Bring it on.

1084. Ladies, Yvie holds the lipstick

1085. of the queen that the group has voted to go home.

1086. Now, if Yvie wins the lip sync,

1087. the queen on her lipstick gets the chop.

1088. Two queens stand before me.

1089. India, this is your chance to impress me,

1090. win $10,000,

1091. and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop.

1092. The time has come...

1093. to lip sync...

1094. for your legacy!

1095. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

1096. Oh!

1097. Baby, this is a show.

1098. Badass.

1099. Oh, my God!

1100. - Wow. - Oh, my God!

1101. - Whoo! - I mean...

1102. All right, ladies,

1103. I've made my decision.

1104. Yvie Oddly...

1105. con-drag-ulations. You're a winner, baby.

1106. The $10,000 will roll over to next week's tip.

1107. Oh, my God.

1108. Look, the lip sync assassin bullshit

1109. has just changed this competition forever.

1110. Pew, pew.

1111. India, you are safe.

1112. You may step to the back of the stage.

1113. Thank you so much.

1114. Good job, India.

1115. Yeah.

1116. Will the bottom queens please step forward?

1117. With great power comes great responsibility.

1118. Yvie, which queen

1119. has the group chosen to get the chop?

1120. The group has spoken,

1121. and the queen that they chose to give the chop is...

1122. Derrick Barry.

1123. Oh.

1124. As it is written, so it shall be done.

1125. Derrick, you are and will always be an All Star.

1126. Now sashay away.

1127. Thank you.

1128. Thanks for the opportunity to come back.

1129. It definitely sucks to go home first.

1130. I mean, because obviously, I wanted to win, so...

1131. The biggest disappointment

1132. is I don't get to showcase everything that I can do.

1133. But just being here reminded me how much I can do

1134. and how ambitious my drive is.

1135. And about those rules being suspended?

1136. Don't act like I'm not coming back.

1137. Con-drag-ulations, All Stars.

1138. And remember, if you can't love yourself,

1139. how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

1140. Can I get an "amen" up in hurr?

1141. - Amen! - Amen!

1142. Now let the music play.

1143. Next time, onAll Stars...

1144. I voted for you to go home.

1145. I literally was up all night.

1146. Help me sleep.

1147. Go to bed.

1148. Each of you will write your own love-sickening verse

1149. to the smash hit I'm in Love.

1150. I picked Hannibal Lecter.

1151. This bitch is into eating people?

1152. And she's that skinny?

1153. Oh, shit.

1154. I love you, but you can be difficult.

1155. You're egotistical.

1156. Oh, that's garbage.

1157. Ru-veal yourself!