1. - Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...
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2. - You'll be acting
in 9021-Ho.
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3. - Grandrea Zuckerwoman
will be played by Aja.
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4. - I don't want
to be Grandrea.
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5. - If it's going to be that
tense, I'll take Grandrea.
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6. - Action.
- Action.
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7. - No wonder
I'm addicted to speed.
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8. - I'm addicted
to speed, too.
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9. - No, you're not.
- No, you're not.
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10. - We're all going
to the same college.
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11. We're gonna work
together again.
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12. - Nina Bo'nina Brown
Carrington Colby.
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13. - You weren't really
selling the lines.
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14. - Where are the cool people?
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15. - Aja.
- You were playing the bitch,
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16. and it felt kind of flat
for me.
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17. You basically handed Shea
a moment to shine.
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18. - Trinity Taylor,
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19. you're the winner
of this week's challenge.
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20. Nina Bo'nina Brown,
shantay, you stay.
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21. Aja, sashay away.
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22. - Oh, that was
a rough, rough one, honey.
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23. - Whoo.
- Oh.
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24. - I feel heartbroken.
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25. Aja was my Brooklyn boo,
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26. and I'm really, really
gonna miss her.
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27. - "Love you guys.
XOXO, Aja."
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28. - Aw.
- Aw.
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29. - Anybody got any Windex?
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30. The truth is, I'm thrilled
to see the room thinning out
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31. because I know I'm the contender
in this competition.
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32. - Aren't y'all two
neck and neck now?
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33. - Well, I have two wins
and she has a win
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34. and then a partnered win.
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35. - Ooh!
- Ooh!
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36. - But also, weren't you
in the bottom two?
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37. And I never even landed
in the bottom three, bitch.
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38. What's up?
- Oh.
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39. - Ouch.
- Oh!
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40. - I'm kind of jealous.
I want to win, too.
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41. 'Cause we're
at the point now
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42. where if you haven't won
at least one challenge, then...
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43. why are you here?
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44. - Well, how do you feel being
told that you're perfect?
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45. Again.
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46. - They told you
you're perfect?
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47. - One day, she'll run out
of perfection.
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48. - Yeah, we'd all like
to be in the top,
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49. but the cookie doesn't
always crumble that way.
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50. - Thank you,
JonBenet Ramsey.
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51. - At this point,
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52. there's only two girls who
have not won any challenges yet,
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53. Peppermint and Farrah.
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54. That ain't a good thing.
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55. - Hey, Farrah, thanks for
looking like a drag queen today.
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56. - Peppermint's
for sure in trouble,
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57. and Farrah's days
are for sure numbered.
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58. Bye-bye,
do not collect $200,
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59. no cab ride for you.
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60. - Oh...
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61. - The winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race
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62. receives a one-year supply
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63. of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics
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64. and a cash prize
of $100,000.
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65. With extra special
guest judges
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66. Fortune Feimster
and Tamar Braxton.
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67. - Hello, girls.
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68. It's today.
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69. - Good morning.
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70. - It's a new day,
which means a new challenge.
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71. - Hello, hello, hello.
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72. - Oh!
- Oh!
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73. - Ladies, I just came
from the eye doctor,
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74. and she prescribed me
these new reading glasses.
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75. And her timing
couldn't have been better
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76. because in the great tradition
of Paris Is Burning,
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77. it's time for
the reading challenge.
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78. Because reading is what?
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79. - Fundamental.
- Fundamental.
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80. - Thank you very much.
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81. Sasha Velour, come on down.
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82. - Whoo.
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83. - The library is open,
darling.
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84. - Okay.
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85. Alexis Michelle,
Broadway's calling.
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86. In this case,
it's the one in Brooklyn
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87. where the whores work.
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88. Shea Coulee, you remind me
of my favorite movies.
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89. Your fashion,
Coming To America,
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90. and your smile,
Jurassic Park.
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91. - I'm so happy
that we have on loan,
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92. from Madame Tussaud's
RuPaul statue
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93. and Miss Trinity Taylor.
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94. Nina Bo'nina Brown,
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95. your pads are so big,
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96. you bend down to pick
something up off the street
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97. and the garbage man says, who
left this raggedy couch here?
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98. Goodwill pickup
is on Sundays.
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99. - Farrah Moan,
all those mens
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100. that buy you
fancy designer shoes,
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101. they're not your boyfriends.
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102. They're called johns,
and they're your employers.
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103. - Ooh.
- Ooh.
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104. Shea-Shea Coulee,
you sure are a scene stealer.
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105. I guess gnawing on set pieces
explains those teeth.
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106. - Ooh.
- Oh.
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107. - That felt good.
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108. - Valentina.
- Yeah.
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109. - Your wardrobe
sure does look expensive,
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110. but money can't buy talent.
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111. - Ooh.
- Hey!
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112. - Farrah. You really are
the social media queen.
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113. Too bad you can't get a filter
for that personality.
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114. - Oh!
- Oh.
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115. - Peppermint, you assassinated
Cynthia in the lip sync,
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116. but did you have to practice
on your wardrobe?
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117. - Ha-ha!
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118. - Nina Bo'nina Brown
Jurassica Parker.
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119. - Hey, sis.
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120. - You've had some ups and downs
in this competition,
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121. and I cannot wait to read it all
in your biography:
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122. Fifty Shades of Ashy.
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123. - Alexis Michelle,
you're oh, so * Broadway
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124. but you're also very broad.
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125. Trinity Taylor,
I once told you
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126. that you're so beautiful
inside and out.
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127. I lied, you ugly stripper.
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128. Ladies, we're going to do
an exercise.
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129. Everybody raise your arms
up to the sky.
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130. And, Shea, this is for you.
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131. One word:
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132. deodorant, bitch!
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133. Peppermint, you need one.
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134. - I told y'all she's sneaky.
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135. - Oh, my God, I hate doing
this kind of stuff.
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136. - I know.
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137. - Sasha...
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138. You and Ru
have a lot in common.
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139. He's bald, you bald.
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140. He wear glasses,
you wear glasses.
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141. He's rich—
Never mind.
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142. Alexis, you're like a BMW.
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143. Body made wrong.
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144. - Oh!
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145. - Valentina, you think
you're Miss Venezuela,
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146. but you're more like
Miss Quinceañera.
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147. - Oh, man.
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148. - Alexis Michelle,
Pillsbury called.
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149. They want their rolls back.
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150. - Ooh.
- Oh.
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151. - Okay, that's all I got.
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152. - Thank you, Farrah Moan.
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153. - Farrah.
- I can't do that.
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154. - Oh, you did.
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155. - The library
is officially closed.
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156. Now, you're all
avid readers,
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157. but one of you
is the head librarian.
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158. Valentina.
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159. - Oh, you did it!
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160. - You've won a four-night stay
for you and a guest
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161. at the Saguaro Palm Springs.
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162. - Oh, I love Palm Springs.
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163. - Now, reading one another
do take nerve,
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164. but you need
titanium balls and tits
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165. to read a legendary queen.
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166. So for this week's
maxi challenge,
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167. we're bringing back...
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168. The RuPaul Roast.
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169. - Oh.
- Oh.
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170. But this time, our guest
of dishonor won't be me.
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171. The person
you'll be roasting is...
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172. Michelle Visage.
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173. And get this.
She has no idea.
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174. - Oh, my God.
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175. - Now, Valentina, since you won
the reading challenge,
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176. you'll decide the order
of the presenters.
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177. And a word of warning,
ladies.
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178. Michelle never forgets.
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179. So don't fuck it up.
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180. - Whoo!
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181. - Here we go, y'all.
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182. - What are you thinking,
Valentina?
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183. - Do you know what order
you want to go in?
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184. - I want to go just
somewhere in the middle.
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185. - Valentina, I know that,
like, first and last
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186. are like
the hardest positions,
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187. and I don't mind
either one of them.
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188. - Okay. So going first,
it's going to be Shea.
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189. - All right.
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190. - Second is going to be Sasha.
- Okay.
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191. - Third is going to be
the one and only me.
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192. Going fourth, Trinity.
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193. Fifth, Farrah.
Sixth, Peppermint.
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194. Seventh, Nina Bo'nina Brown.
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195. And closing our show
is Alexis.
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196. - Time for us
to start writing jokes.
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197. Be clever.
That's the goal.
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198. - Here's a tip.
Don't make it about my body.
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199. - Oh, my Lord.
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200. - I was surprised.
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201. You guys came from—
anything to do with my size.
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202. I just, like,
would have preferred
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203. not to do with body image.
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204. So that's all I have to say
about that.
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205. - People,
we can't be sensitive.
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206. It's a comedy challenge.
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207. - Girl, get over it.
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208. You knew people
were going to read you.
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209. You made fun of other people.
Calm down.
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210. You're a drag queen, honey.
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211. - I'm sorry about my joke.
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212. - I don't want you to feel
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213. that I think it's okay
to make you feel that way.
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214. - I feel like right now,
Alexis is in her head,
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215. and I'm concerned
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216. that she's not going
to take it far enough.
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217. And for a roast to be good,
you gotta go all the way.
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218. - Coming up...
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219. - Everybody's nervous.
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220. - Oh.
- Oh.
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221. No digo nada.
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222. - Bye, bitch.
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223. - Oh.
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224. - Oh, my God.
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225. - We have to do a roast
of Michelle Visage.
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226. Oh, my fucking God.
Everybody's nervous.
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227. - Aja, you might have got lucky
getting out of here.
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228. - I am frozen,
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229. and I'm not even talking
about my face.
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230. - So I have my pen
in one hand
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231. and I have my hand
on a piece of paper,
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232. and I just think.
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233. And... nothing.
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234. Oh...
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235. Virgen de Gaudalupe, por favor,
ayúdame en este momento
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236. porque no digo nada.
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237. - Girl, Guadalupe ain't gonna
write these jokes for you.
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238. You gotta do it
for your own self, girl.
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239. So get to work.
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240. - Hello.
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241. - Hi!
- Hello.
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242. - Hi.
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243. - I brought Ross to help you
with your material.
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244. - This is my first time ever
in the workroom.
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245. Do you know that?
- You're kidding.
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246. Oh, my goodness,
well, welcome.
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247. - It's just like
I pictured it.
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248. - Alexis Michelle.
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249. - Hi, gentlemen.
- Hi.
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250. - Now, a little birdie
told me that you
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251. were a little miffed off
by the reading challenge.
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252. - I just thought
some of my sisters
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253. could have come up with
more original material.
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254. - Oh.
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255. You were more disappointed
than miffed.
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256. - No, the truth is, Ru,
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257. body image has been
something I've struggled with
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258. for a lot of my life.
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259. And I have talked
with my sisters
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260. and they know
what I've struggled with.
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261. That's why it was
a little bit, um, hurtful.
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262. - So you feel like it's okay for
you to make fun of someone else,
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263. but not someone else
to make fun of you.
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264. - Um, look, I will try,
you know,
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265. whenever I come for anybody
on that runway,
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266. to make sure that
we're all laughing together.
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267. - Right. But that's
the thing about comedy.
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268. You know, a lot of times,
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269. especially people who've been
through hell and high water
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270. with an issue,
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271. the only way
to get through it
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272. is to friggin' laugh at it.
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273. - Laugh at it,
that's true.
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274. - Mm-hmm. 'Cause look,
you survived.
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275. - Yeah.
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276. - Have you ever done comedy
before?
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277. - I have.
Actually, at my weekly show,
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278. I spend a lot of time
on the mic.
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279. - And you're actually
going last in the lineup.
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280. How do you feel about that?
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281. - I honestly
was ready to open her
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282. and set the tone
or close her out
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283. and, uh, let them eat cake.
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284. - Okay. All right.
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285. - Well, listen, you have
experience in this.
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286. A lot
of the other girls don't.
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287. And because you do, we're going
to need you to bring it extra.
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288. - All right.
We'll see you out there.
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289. Make us laugh.
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290. See you.
- Bye.
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291. - Hey, Farrah Moan.
- Oh, hi.
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292. - Now, you did
the reading earlier.
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293. How'd that go for you?
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294. - Honestly, I really
didn't like doing it.
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295. You know, I did go for
a low blow with Alexis Michelle
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296. and it did not feel good.
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297. - Now, are you more worried
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298. about what other people
will think of you?
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299. - I just am more worried
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300. about staying true
to my integrity
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301. and not hurting anyone.
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302. - You're 12. What kind
of integrity do you have?
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303. I get it.
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304. I would go on
Chelsea Lately all the time,
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305. and that show was really
about tearing down Hollywood.
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306. And my nature is to be nice,
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307. so I'd be
the one in the corner
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308. going, but I like
Jessica Simpson,
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309. you know, trying to...
- Oh...
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310. - But it can be done.
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311. Lube her up a little bit.
- Yeah.
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312. - You know what I mean?
I love you, Michelle, but...
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313. - Uh-huh, uh-huh.
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314. - I'm the biggest fan
of Michelle Visage, but...
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315. - Yeah, exactly.
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316. - Then it's not as mean.
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317. - Totally.
- Except it's totally mean.
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318. - Yeah, right.
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319. Now, you haven't won
any challenges.
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320. - I know.
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321. - Because at this point
in the competition,
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322. if you haven't won
any challenges,
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323. you may wind up
in the bottom.
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324. - Oh, don't say that, Ru.
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325. - You gotta come for it.
- Okay?
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326. - All right, make us laugh.
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327. - Yeah.
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328. - By-eee.
- By-eee.
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329. Hey, Pep-Pep-Peppermint.
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330. - Hey, yo, yo, Ru.
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331. - Hi. How are you?
- Ross, hey, baby.
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332. - Good to see you.
- Now, obviously,
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333. Michelle is the target
of this roast.
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334. Does this scare you?
Does this excite you?
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335. - It scares the shit
out of me.
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336. - Tell me about it.
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337. - I've never roasted
anyone before.
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338. - Are you a funny queen?
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339. - I think so.
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340. I mean, I think
people will laugh.
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341. - I think you are,
but so far in this competition,
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342. you've had some trouble
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343. getting out of the gate,
so to speak.
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344. - I feel like it's more like
crossing the finish line.
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345. - Okay, all right.
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346. - Ding, ding, dong.
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347. Are you hungry for a win?
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348. - I'm starving,
and this is the time.
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349. - Well, that's up to you.
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350. All right,
thanks, Peppermint.
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351. Sasha Velour.
- Hi, guys.
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352. - Now, you're very smart.
You're intellectual.
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353. How are you going to pull off
a gutter roast?
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354. - I feel like my worries
about not being funny
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355. have been getting in my way.
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356. - Are you funny in life?
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357. - That's the big question.
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358. I make people laugh,
but in my shows,
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359. my edge is that
it's serious and analytical
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360. and has a bit of philosophy
and politics.
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361. - You gotta use
what you got.
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362. Maybe you can use this
sort of intellectual thing
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363. to make fun of yourself
and then go after Michelle.
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364. You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, yeah.
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365. Now, how's the joke writing
coming along?
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366. - I'm having some writer's block
with this one.
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367. - Well, time's running out.
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368. - I know.
- Have you written any jokes?
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369. - I've written the words
"mutton dressed as lamb."
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370. Which could apply
to a lot of people.
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371. - Yeah.
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372. - This is going to be
very interesting.
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373. - Just make sure
you make us laugh.
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374. - Absolutely.
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375. - And don't forget, please,
make us laugh.
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376. - See you.
- See you.
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377. - All right,
listen up, pretty girls.
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378. Roast them good, ladies.
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379. - Mm-hmm.
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380. Let's go, Ross.
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381. - Okay, bye.
Bye, bye, bye.
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382. - Whoo!
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383. - So mutton is old sheep.
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384. - Okay, okay, okay.
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385. - And lamb is baby sheep.
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386. But also people use it
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387. to describe
when someone who is old
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388. is dressing
to appear younger.
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389. - Okay. Mm-mm.
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390. Bye, bitch.
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391. - Coming up...
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392. We challenged our queens
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393. to perform in the second
RuPaul Roast,
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394. but our guest of honor
isn't going to be me.
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395. - This week's maxi challenge
is the RuPaul Roast
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396. and this time, we'll be
roasting Michelle Visage.
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397. - Farrah?
- Yes.
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398. - I'm sorry I insinuated
you were a prostitute.
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399. - Oh, thank you, baby.
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400. I'm sorry
I made fun of your rolls,
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401. and I'm sorry
for bringing it up now.
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402. - I'm sure that your johns
are really lovely people.
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403. - Oh.
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404. - Whoo!
- Whoo!
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405. - Okay, girl.
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406. - There's moments,
you guys,
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407. where, like,
there's a joke said
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408. and then everybody laughs
and I look around
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409. and just start, like,
laughing to blend in.
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410. - That was my experience.
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411. When I first lived
in Russia,
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412. humor in another language
is so challenging.
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413. - How long
did you live there?
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414. - I lived there for, like,
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415. two and a half years
altogether.
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416. - Oh, my God.
I got stuck in Moscow.
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417. I was presenting female
and my ID does not match.
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418. And I was in Moscow airport
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419. for a connection,
I think, like 30 minutes.
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420. This was eight months ago.
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421. - Oh, my God.
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422. - And so we land
and we're supposed to go
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423. to the little transfer desk
or whatever.
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424. And the woman,
she didn't speak any English,
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425. and she just kept looking
at my ID and looking at me.
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426. And it was clear
that she was disagreeing
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427. with the fact that
my ID looked male
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428. and I looked female.
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429. Okay, so that's what it was.
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430. So she detained me.
Copy !req
431. - Oh, my.
That's really terrifying.
Copy !req
432. - I was terrified
to the point
Copy !req
433. where I had to snatch
my own wig off my head
Copy !req
434. in the line
with all these people.
Copy !req
435. - Oh, my God.
Copy !req
436. - Just to prove to her
that I'm...
Copy !req
437. this is me
and please let me go in.
Copy !req
438. It was so humiliating.
Copy !req
439. - That's really a tragedy.
Copy !req
440. There's a lot
of gender fear in Russia.
Copy !req
441. - Yeah.
- I feel for her.
Copy !req
442. When I was living in Russia,
I had to disguise myself.
Copy !req
443. I couldn't be Sasha Velour.
Copy !req
444. I had to think carefully about
what clothes I was wearing,
Copy !req
445. how I moved my body.
Copy !req
446. Queer people in Russia are
living in an oppressive system.
Copy !req
447. - I just have to
keep in mind
Copy !req
448. that it doesn't take away
my womanhood.
Copy !req
449. - Amen.
- A-woman.
Copy !req
450. And what?
Copy !req
451. - Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Copy !req
452. Michelle Visage,
it's roasting time.
Copy !req
453. Hope you brought a pig.
Copy !req
454. - I sure did.
Copy !req
455. - From Hollywood Today Live,
the hilarious Ross Mathews.
Copy !req
456. Are you ready to be read,
for filth?
Copy !req
457. - Good thing
I brought my sani-wipes.
Copy !req
458. - Eew.
Copy !req
459. Writer, actress, comedienne
Fortune Feimster.
Copy !req
460. I hope you have
a thick skin.
Copy !req
461. - Yeah,
and I'm extra crispy.
Copy !req
462. - And Drag Race favorite
of alltime.com,
Copy !req
463. Tamar Braxton.
Hey, girl.
Copy !req
464. - Hi, darling.
Copy !req
465. - This week,
we challenged our queens
Copy !req
466. to perform in the second ever
RuPaul Roast.
Copy !req
467. But this time, our guest of
honor isn't going to be me.
Copy !req
468. I've challenged our queens
to roast...
Copy !req
469. Michelle Visage.
Copy !req
470. - Oh.
- What?
Copy !req
471. - Surprise!
Copy !req
472. - No.
Copy !req
473. Bitch.
- It takes one to know one.
Copy !req
474. With cool cocktails provided
by Micky's West Hollywood,
Copy !req
475. let's get this
Michelle roast started.
Copy !req
476. Gentlemen,
start your engines,
Copy !req
477. and may the best woman win.
Copy !req
478. Coming up...
Copy !req
479. - It's me,
Mother Maybelline
Copy !req
480. Nina Bo'nina Banana Fofana
Copy !req
481. Osama bin Laden Brown's
great aunt.
Copy !req
482. - Welcome to the second annual
RuPaul's Roast.
Copy !req
483. This year, we are really
switching things up.
Copy !req
484. Instead of RuPaul,
we are going to roast
Copy !req
485. a man of true charisma,
Copy !req
486. uniqueness,
nerve and talent.
Copy !req
487. Unfortunately,
he was unavailable,
Copy !req
488. so it's going to be
Michelle Visage.
Copy !req
489. Michelle, we know you for being
a kind, patient she-ro.
Copy !req
490. And gonorrhea clinics
know you as Patient Zero.
Copy !req
491. Girl, you have had
more shit in you
Copy !req
492. than a urinal
at Dodger Stadium.
Copy !req
493. The only difference is
Copy !req
494. they get cleaned up
after a grand slam.
Copy !req
495. Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
496. just remember,
if you liked my performance,
Copy !req
497. my name is Shea Coulee.
Copy !req
498. And if you hated it,
it's Nina Bo'nina Brown.
Copy !req
499. - Thank you, Shea Coulee.
Copy !req
500. That was extremely
edifying humor.
Copy !req
501. Uh, sorry, am I using
that word correctly?
Copy !req
502. Not edifying.
I know that one.
Copy !req
503. It was humor that I wasn't sure
worked in this context.
Copy !req
504. Tonight, we really do have
an opportunity
Copy !req
505. to salute empowering
representation in the media.
Copy !req
506. We have an out and proud
lesbian comedian.
Copy !req
507. Thank you so much,
Ross Mathews.
Copy !req
508. Ross Mathews has the face
of a young gay man
Copy !req
509. and the voice
of an adult woman.
Copy !req
510. So the opposite
of Tamar Braxton.
Copy !req
511. - Bitch.
Copy !req
512. I'm gonna get yo ass.
Copy !req
513. - It's now come time to talk
about Michelle Visage herself.
Copy !req
514. Michelle is so Jersey,
Copy !req
515. her idea of classical music
is Lisa Lisa.
Copy !req
516. - Hey!
Copy !req
517. - Michelle Visage
is so Jersey,
Copy !req
518. she calls her pubic hair
the Garden State Expressway.
Copy !req
519. And let's not even get started
on the Holland Tunnel.
Copy !req
520. - Whoo.
Copy !req
521. Michelle Visage is—
I have more of these.
Copy !req
522. Michelle Visage
is so Jersey,
Copy !req
523. she wanted to call her
second child White Flight.
Copy !req
524. Oh, well. That one worked
in my mind.
Copy !req
525. And now, a queen who combines
all the excitement of smiling
Copy !req
526. with the thrill
of just standing there.
Copy !req
527. Give it up for Valentina.
Copy !req
528. - Mama RuPaul,
you are the shadiest queen
Copy !req
529. because you let Michelle Visage
look so busted on Season 3
Copy !req
530. and 4...
Copy !req
531. and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8.
Copy !req
532. And girl,
that's your friend.
Copy !req
533. That's fucked up.
Copy !req
534. Michelle is such a cochina
Copy !req
535. that she knows how
to say and spell "harder"
Copy !req
536. in six different languages.
Copy !req
537. Michelle,
you is such a tired-ass ho
Copy !req
538. that when you got carpal tunnel
from giving out free hand job,
Copy !req
539. she just became left-handed.
Copy !req
540. - I'm so confused.
Copy !req
541. - Ross, you're just so cute
and so sweet.
Copy !req
542. You just remind me
of a cute hamster.
Copy !req
543. I just want to shove you
up my butt.
Copy !req
544. Boo!
Copy !req
545. Thank you, Paydro,
Copy !req
546. mo-wee bee-in.
(muy bien)
Copy !req
547. Please excuse
the way I'm dressed.
Copy !req
548. I have to go feed the chickens
after this,
Copy !req
549. and I didn't want to wear
my good things.
Copy !req
550. I sometimes even have
to wrestle a few of them.
Copy !req
551. Michelle, you know all about
wrestling cocks, don't you?
Copy !req
552. I think
we have a lot in common,
Copy !req
553. from the same tastes
in hairspray
Copy !req
554. to the same units
of Botox fillers,
Copy !req
555. lips, tucks, nips and hips.
Copy !req
556. Michelle, every time
I walk the runway,
Copy !req
557. you have this pungent look
on your face,
Copy !req
558. kind of like
you got to shit.
Copy !req
559. I reckon they have
some laxatives for that.
Copy !req
560. Just a secret.
We all poop.
Copy !req
561. - Let's get this roast
a-cookin'.
Copy !req
562. Can we please
put our hands together
Copy !req
563. for the one, the only
Michelle Visage...'s breasts?
Copy !req
564. They're the real star
of the show.
Copy !req
565. Sorry, RuPaul.
Copy !req
566. Hmm. I find it hilarious
Copy !req
567. that Michelle Visage
judges a talent competition.
Copy !req
568. I don't know about you,
Copy !req
569. but don't you actually have
to have talent to do that?
Copy !req
570. Ha. And I'm pretty sure
having one song in the nineties
Copy !req
571. that no one even remembers
Copy !req
572. doesn't qualify you
Copy !req
573. to be a judge
on such a big TV show.
Copy !req
574. Good thing she's been sucking
RuPaul's dick for so long.
Copy !req
575. - Oh.
- Whoo!
Copy !req
576. - Oh, and we've got
Tamar Braxton in the house.
Copy !req
577. Tay-mar Braxton.
However you say it.
Copy !req
578. She's Toni Braxton's less
talented, more annoying sister.
Copy !req
579. Anyways,
now that Michelle's dick breath
Copy !req
580. has stunk up
this entire stage,
Copy !req
581. I'd like to introduce our next
minty contestant, Peppermint.
Copy !req
582. - Hey, y'all.
Copy !req
583. Thank you, Farrah Moan.
Copy !req
584. Ross, everyone says
Copy !req
585. that your voice is annoying
and high-pitched,
Copy !req
586. but I actually love
the sound of your voice...
Copy !req
587. right now.
Copy !req
588. - Shh!
Don't talk, don't talk.
Copy !req
589. Michelle Visage,
Michelle, Michelle.
Copy !req
590. Not since Destiny's Child
has a Michelle become so famous
Copy !req
591. for riding
somebody else's coattails.
Copy !req
592. RuPaul, all smiles,
Ross, all smiles,
Copy !req
593. Michelle, poker face.
Copy !req
594. No, seriously.
Someone poke her face.
Copy !req
595. It doesn't even move.
Copy !req
596. Michelle says no
to everything.
Copy !req
597. Michelle,
you like my dress? No.
Copy !req
598. You like my makeup? No.
Copy !req
599. Bitch,
where the hell were you
Copy !req
600. when somebody asked you if
you wanted to write that book?
Copy !req
601. It's a great book, Michelle.
Copy !req
602. Said no one.
Copy !req
603. Honestly, I fell in love
with you, Michelle,
Copy !req
604. watching you and RuPaul
on VH1,
Copy !req
605. and I'm so honored to share
this moment with you,
Copy !req
606. so thank you.
Copy !req
607. Happy 90th birthday,
Michelle.
Copy !req
608. - Hey, babies.
Copy !req
609. It's me, Mother Maybelline
Copy !req
610. Nina Bo'nina Banana Fofana
Copy !req
611. Osama bin Laden Brown's
great aunt.
Copy !req
612. Coming all the way from
the lions, tigers and bears,
Copy !req
613. and sheep of the Lord
Missionary Baptist Church.
Copy !req
614. Praise the Lord.
Copy !req
615. Moving on
to the man of the hour,
Copy !req
616. RuPaul's secretary
Michelle Visayge.
Copy !req
617. You know, Michelle,
your face reminds me of my hip.
Copy !req
618. Stiff.
Copy !req
619. Oh, Jesus.
Copy !req
620. What's your name, baby?
Copy !req
621. You are
a whole lotta woman.
Copy !req
622. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
623. Well, we normally save
the best for last,
Copy !req
624. but in this case, we had
to settle for Alexis Michelle.
Copy !req
625. - Oh, Michelle,
Michelle, Michelle.
Copy !req
626. In honor of your big night,
Copy !req
627. I wore your favorite color,
girl.
Copy !req
628. Um...
Copy !req
629. We have so much in common,
Michelle.
Copy !req
630. We have the theater running
in our veins, Michelle.
Copy !req
631. You also have several venereal
diseases running through yours,
Copy !req
632. but that's
besides the point.
Copy !req
633. But, you know, you're also
an inspiration to me, Michelle.
Copy !req
634. As thin as you have become,
Copy !req
635. one area has stayed
the same, unchanged.
Copy !req
636. It's a Hanukkah miracle,
Baruch HaShem.
Copy !req
637. Oh, my goodness, Fortune.
Copy !req
638. You also know about
playing second fiddle.
Copy !req
639. You've been playing
bullshit
Copy !req
640. to Chelsea Handler's
alcoholic WASP for ages now.
Copy !req
641. Now, Michelle,
I have to congratulate you
Copy !req
642. on really being able
to take the piss.
Copy !req
643. Just ask the UK
men's water polo team.
Copy !req
644. - Okay.
Copy !req
645. - She loves water sports.
She loves the UK.
Copy !req
646. And we love you, mama.
Copy !req
647. Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Copy !req
648. It's been real.
Good night, everybody.
Copy !req
649. - This is not
a happy ending.
Copy !req
650. - And it don't help that
you look like She Hulk.
Copy !req
651. - Coming up...
Copy !req
652. - The jokes, they seemed
more like observations.
Copy !req
653. - You just looked like
you were going to throw up.
Copy !req
654. - This is a roast.
Copy !req
655. You go hard or go home.
Copy !req
656. - Welcome, ladies.
Copy !req
657. I've made some decisions.
Copy !req
658. Nina Bo'nina Brown
Earl Jones.
Copy !req
659. Valentina.
Copy !req
660. You ladies are safe.
Copy !req
661. You may leave the stage.
Copy !req
662. Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.
Copy !req
663. Let's start
with Shea Coulee.
Copy !req
664. - I know a thing or two about
being somebody's opening act.
Copy !req
665. - Yeah.
Copy !req
666. - And, you know, you just
set the tone, you know,
Copy !req
667. to be funny, to be original.
Copy !req
668. - And your jokes
were really funny.
Copy !req
669. I'm probably gonna steal them
and put them in my next special.
Copy !req
670. - Have them.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
671. You did a great job.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
672. - Next up, Sasha Velour.
Copy !req
673. - When you started
the roast,
Copy !req
674. I think you were
way too smart for the room.
Copy !req
675. But the minute
you started laying into me,
Copy !req
676. it was friggin' genius.
Copy !req
677. - You have
a very specific POV.
Copy !req
678. You know, what does a roast
look like through Sasha's eyes?
Copy !req
679. And I think
you gave us that tonight.
Copy !req
680. - Trinity Taylor.
Copy !req
681. - What I liked was that
you had a character.
Copy !req
682. - Mo-wee bee-in.
Copy !req
683. - But everything else
didn't work for me.
Copy !req
684. - You didn't have the jokes.
Copy !req
685. - I think even before
you got up there,
Copy !req
686. you just looked like
you were gonna throw up,
Copy !req
687. and you still
kind of have that look.
Copy !req
688. - It's the Botox, I promise.
Copy !req
689. - Oh, okay.
See, that's funny.
Copy !req
690. And, like, I would have
liked to have seen you
Copy !req
691. sort of trust yourself more.
Copy !req
692. - Up next, Farrah Moan.
Copy !req
693. - Farrah,
nothing landed, honey.
Copy !req
694. If you're gonna be harsh,
it has to land.
Copy !req
695. And I think everything that came
out of your mouth was harsh.
Copy !req
696. That's not a bad thing.
It's a roast.
Copy !req
697. But you gotta follow it up
with a punch line.
Copy !req
698. People have to laugh.
Copy !req
699. - Yeah, I fucked up.
Copy !req
700. - I wouldn't call it
fucked up, but—
Copy !req
701. - I would call it fucked up.
Copy !req
702. - Okay.
Copy !req
703. - Because we identified
the problem in the workroom.
Copy !req
704. You said being mean
is not my nature.
Copy !req
705. But if you don't like to say
that person sucks,
Copy !req
706. you can say,
I love Michelle so much,
Copy !req
707. I was dying to meet her.
Copy !req
708. And she was exactly like
I'd hoped she'd be,
Copy !req
709. horrible in every way.
Copy !req
710. It would have been a POV
Copy !req
711. that none
of the other girls had.
Copy !req
712. - All right, up next,
Pep-Pep-Peppermint.
Copy !req
713. - So by the time
you came up,
Copy !req
714. I was hungry for just
a good piece of roast,
Copy !req
715. and you served it.
Copy !req
716. - I was like Ross,
just waiting for somebody
Copy !req
717. to just come out there
and bring the energy.
Copy !req
718. And you just killed it.
Copy !req
719. - And you look beautiful.
Copy !req
720. It just all works
for me tonight.
Copy !req
721. - I would totally
take you to prom.
Copy !req
722. - Alexis Michelle.
Copy !req
723. - My question the whole entire
time is why is she green?
Copy !req
724. - Well, Tamar, have you ever
watched the show?
Copy !req
725. - But going green
like you did,
Copy !req
726. I expected
like a Broadway thing
Copy !req
727. 'cause you look
like Elphaba.
Copy !req
728. And then, like, this
Jersey accent comes out.
Copy !req
729. - She likes water sports.
Copy !req
730. - I was like, I don't know
Copy !req
731. what to do
with these two things.
Copy !req
732. - I literally forgot
there was an audience here.
Copy !req
733. That's how silent they were.
Copy !req
734. - And the jokes, they seemed
more like observations.
Copy !req
735. - You were almost too soft.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
736. - It was like you were
afraid of hurting us.
Copy !req
737. This is a roast.
You go hard or go home.
Copy !req
738. - Thank you, ladies.
Copy !req
739. While you untuck backstage,
Copy !req
740. the judges and I
will deliberate.
Copy !req
741. All right, now just between
us squirrel friends,
Copy !req
742. what do you think?
Copy !req
743. Shea Coulee.
Copy !req
744. - I thought
she set a great tone.
Copy !req
745. She didn't shy away
from her jokes.
Copy !req
746. I was a fan.
Copy !req
747. - But on the runway,
Copy !req
748. is it the most creative look
we've ever seen?
Copy !req
749. - Sasha Velour.
Copy !req
750. - I was panicked for her.
Copy !req
751. Then she got this formula
Copy !req
752. that she just inserted
the jokes in and it worked.
Copy !req
753. - The way she was like
analytical at first
Copy !req
754. didn't bother me because
it worked with her outfit,
Copy !req
755. and she was funny
on top of that.
Copy !req
756. You know, she was really smart
about being smart.
Copy !req
757. - Yeah, it was a real
breakthrough moment for her.
Copy !req
758. Trinity Taylor.
Copy !req
759. - The father, the son
and the holy ghost.
Copy !req
760. - Yeah.
- We're not with Trinity.
Copy !req
761. - No.
- Not today.
Copy !req
762. - The jokes
just weren't strong enough.
Copy !req
763. - Yeah.
- It was road kill.
Copy !req
764. That's good eatin'.
Copy !req
765. - But the outfit
was on point.
Copy !req
766. It was super cute.
Copy !req
767. I'm from North Carolina,
so I felt like
Copy !req
768. she fit right in
with my white trash people.
Copy !req
769. - Farrah Moan.
Copy !req
770. - I thought she reminded me
of Marilyn Monroe
Copy !req
771. when she did the whole
birthday thing for JFK.
Copy !req
772. And I thought
she was gonna come up
Copy !req
773. and do her whole character
like this
Copy !req
774. and it would've been funny.
Copy !req
775. But what it came across
as a really nervous kid
Copy !req
776. who came to tell people off
in a harsh way.
Copy !req
777. - You know, it hit me.
Copy !req
778. She would be perfect
at doing Elvira.
Copy !req
779. She's got the same
sort of vocal cadence.
Copy !req
780. - You know, the fact
that everybody's like,
Copy !req
781. oh, you look like this,
you look like this
Copy !req
782. means probably who she really is
isn't coming through.
Copy !req
783. - I think Fortune brought up
such a good point.
Copy !req
784. She doesn't know who she is.
- At all.
Copy !req
785. - She knows she's a cute girl
and can wear pretty clothes.
Copy !req
786. - Yeah.
Copy !req
787. - But there's nothing more
than that yet.
Copy !req
788. - All right. So let's
move on to Peppermint.
Copy !req
789. Tonight
she was really funny.
Copy !req
790. - Not only was she funny,
Copy !req
791. but she looked probably
the best we've ever seen her.
Copy !req
792. She was literally
a smiling assassin.
Copy !req
793. - Really, seriously.
Copy !req
794. From the hair, the makeup,
the gown, to the funny jokes,
Copy !req
795. I really, really
enjoyed her.
Copy !req
796. Like, she was really the
highlight of the evening to me.
Copy !req
797. - Alexis Michelle,
the Green Mile.
Copy !req
798. - For to come out here
with her whole body green,
Copy !req
799. I was just trying
to figure out, what?
Copy !req
800. Who in the hell
left the gate open?
Copy !req
801. You know what I'm saying?
Like, what we gonna get?
Copy !req
802. - It was a long way to go
for a one-word joke.
Copy !req
803. Michelle doesn't like green,
Copy !req
804. so I painted my body—
except for my feet.
Copy !req
805. It just was misguided.
Copy !req
806. - Yeah.
- Confused.
Copy !req
807. I actually drew a picture,
look, on my notes, of a bomb.
Copy !req
808. - Oh, my goodness.
Copy !req
809. - But we know
what Alexis can do
Copy !req
810. because she has delivered
in the Snatch Game,
Copy !req
811. as Kris Jenner.
Copy !req
812. - But she chose
this position to go last.
Copy !req
813. That's a big swing,
and it was a big miss.
Copy !req
814. - Silence.
Copy !req
815. I've made my decision.
Copy !req
816. Bring back my girls.
Copy !req
817. - Welcome back, ladies.
Copy !req
818. I've made some decisions.
Copy !req
819. Shea Coulee, you're safe.
Copy !req
820. You may join
the other girls.
Copy !req
821. - Thank you.
Copy !req
822. - Sasha Velour,
you're smarty, arty,
Copy !req
823. and tonight,
you turned the party.
Copy !req
824. Peppermint, we finally got
a taste of the real Peppermint,
Copy !req
825. and we loved it.
Copy !req
826. Peppermint,
con-drag-ulations.
Copy !req
827. You're the winner
of this week's challenge.
Copy !req
828. - Aah!
Copy !req
829. - You've won a five-year
membership with Squarespace,
Copy !req
830. which includes a consultation
with their design team
Copy !req
831. for your own personal
website and online shop.
Copy !req
832. - Thank you.
Copy !req
833. - And Sasha Velour,
you're safe.
Copy !req
834. The two of you
may join the other girls.
Copy !req
835. Trinity Taylor,
your barnyard humor
Copy !req
836. did not make us go,
hey, girl, hey.
Copy !req
837. Farrah, tonight
you made us moan,
Copy !req
838. but for all
the wrong reasons.
Copy !req
839. Alexis Michelle,
tonight you proved
Copy !req
840. it's not easy being green,
Copy !req
841. and comedy is even harder.
Copy !req
842. Trinity Taylor...
Copy !req
843. You're safe.
Copy !req
844. - You may join
the other girls.
Copy !req
845. - Thank you.
Copy !req
846. - Farrah Moan,
Alexis Michelle,
Copy !req
847. I'm sorry, my dears, but you
are up for elimination.
Copy !req
848. - My heart is racing.
Copy !req
849. Getting to Drag Race has been
an eight-year-long journey,
Copy !req
850. and feeling like this might be
the end of that journey
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851. is devastating.
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852. - Two queens
stand before me.
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853. Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
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854. and save yourself
from elimination.
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855. The time has come...
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856. to lip sync
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857. for your life.
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858. - I just have to take
a deep breath and focus,
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859. because this is it.
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860. - Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.
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861. - Whoo!
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862. - Ladies,
I've made my decision.
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863. Alexis Michelle,
shantay, you stay.
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864. You may join
the other girls.
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865. - Thank you.
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866. - Farrah Moan,
you're a beautiful queen
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867. with a big future.
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868. Shine on, showgirl.
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869. Now sashay away.
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870. - Thank you guys so much.
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871. I am so proud of myself
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872. for never letting go
of my dream,
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873. but I've got
a lot more to learn.
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874. It's been nice, L.A.,
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875. but now it's time
for me to go cook in Vegas.
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876. Oh.
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877. - My queens,
con-drag-ulations.
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878. And remember,
if you can't love yourself,
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879. how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?
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880. Can I get an amen
up in here?
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881. - Amen!
- All right.
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882. Now let the music play.
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