RuPaul's Drag Race 7x5

1. Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

2. You'll be creating your own punny-or-die music video.

3. I want to tan tan tan with you

4. Gonna turn and burn, gonna turn and burn

5. Cut.

6. Trixie, why do you keep walking in and out of the shot?

7. RuPaul and Michelle Visage

8. think we're a bunch of disorganized tards.

9. Trixie, you are not standing out for me.

10. Pearl, come out of your shell.

11. I feel picked on, almost.

12. Kennedy Davenport,

13. You are the winner of this week's challenge.

14. Pearl, shante, you stay.

15. Trixie Mattel, sashay away.

16. Girl. Long day.

17. I have been through it today.

18. I am in complete shock.

19. Trixie should be here.

20. This is a travesty.

21. Pearl, do you think the judges' critiques

22. were fair tonight?

23. I'm really just kind of over the judges.

24. I thought that I gave great energy.

25. Back home, everybody loves me.

26. When I came here, I thought I was, like,

27. so sickening everyone was just gonna be obsessed with me,

28. but obviously that's not the case.

29. Good riddance to this day.

30. To be honest, I didn't expect it to be Trixie.

31. I gagged.

32. I truly gagged.

33. The vibe around the workroom is a little bit shocked.

34. This may sound like old lady bullor whatever,

35. but after trying for this for seven years and somebody's like,

36. "Oh, this," that pisses me off.

37. Yeah.

38. Pearl, I'm sorry you didn't like your criticisms,

39. but buck up, buttercup.

40. Be grateful for the opportunity that you have.

41. Otherwise...

42. Leave.

43. The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race receives a one year supply

44. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

45. and a cash price of $100,000.

46. With our extra special guest judge, Isaac Mizrahi.

47. RuPaul Drag Race

48. May the best woman best woman win

49. Go. Go. Go.

50. What is wrong with y'all?

51. It is a new day in the workroom.

52. I'm excited.

53. Last week, I was safe.

54. I didn't come here to play it safe.

55. That ain't cute.

56. At all.

57. You look like a Boy Scout today. I like it.

58. - Oh, me? - I like it.

59. Give him a pet name. Give him a pet name.

60. Let's call her Scout.

61. Well, God, what are we?

62. - I would say cardiac arrest. - Whoo.

63. - Uh-oh.

64. - Here we go. - Sheila, ready to...

65. For your consideration,

66. whether you're snatching wigs or snatching trophies,

67. like this maquette by Tweeterhead, available online.

68. You better one huge pair of golden globes.

69. Hope you win.

70. Mean it!

71. Hello, hello, hello.

72. Hello.

73. - Hey. - Hi.

74. Now, you know Drag Raceviewers

75. create the most twisted fan art in the world.

76. One super fan blew everyone away by recreating

77. our queens' hottest looks using only paper.

78. Yeah. Paper.

79. For today's mini-challenge,

80. you'll be making your own paper versions

81. of classic celebrity red carpet outfits.

82. Now, you'll be working in pairs, so based

83. on how you lined up this morning, teams are:

84. Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

85. - Yay. - Little Kim.

86. Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy Davenport, Lady Gaga.

87. Pearl and Max, Cher.

88. Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya, Bjork.

89. And Violet Chachki and Miss Fame,

90. Jennifer Lopez.

91. I'm paired up with Violet and I'm the glass half-full.

92. She's like the empty beer bottle

93. that you find, like, next to the chair.

94. Oh, pit crew!

95. I see the morning paper has arrived.

96. Oh, read all about it.

97. This is gonna be the best game of frock, paper, scissors ever.

98. Go!

99. - Good? - Yeah.

100. Hurry up, bitch. Tape this.

101. You don't have to slap me.

102. If I get the chance, girl.

103. All right, time's up, ladies.

104. First up...

105. Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

106. Look at Lil' Kim.

107. It's from the line, I Don't Give A Tit.

108. Whomp, whomp. I had to do that.

109. Next up, Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kennedy Davenport,

110. Lady Gaga.

111. Yes, ma'am, wet and juicy in all the right places.

112. The "steaks" are high, ladies.

113. Next up, Violet Chachki and Miss Fame.

114. Jenny from the block.

115. Wow, Versace.

116. It's also Versnatch.

117. Turn around, J-Lo, let's see the backside.

118. You're not Jennifer Lopez!

119. Next up, Pearl and Max.

120. Dark lady.

121. No tramp or thief could steal this custom couture.

122. Shut up, stupid.

123. Born naked and the rest is Bob Mackie.

124. Next up, re-creating the infamous swan dress,

125. Katya and... is that Joan Rivers?

126. What are you wearing?

127. Actually, I'm wearing a custom-made

128. Klein Epstein & Parker suit.

129. Stunning.

130. And this next gal,

131. she's wearing a swan on her body and a elephant on her ankles.

132. Now available on iTunes.

133. Bjork flew all the way from Iceland for this,

134. and, boy, are her arms tired.

135. Yes. The rest of her looks tired, too.

136. The next thing, you're gonna look like Pearl, honey.

137. Ooh!

138. Good job, ladies.

139. I've graded your papers and the winning pair is...

140. Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya.

141. I'm posting all of your paper doll looks at logotv.com.

142. Ladies, you're all dressed up.

143. Now you need a place to go.

144. Good news.

145. You're invited to the most prestigious award show

146. of the season, girl!

147. The first annual Despy Awards.

148. Now, working in your current pairs,

149. you will be both the presenters and the nominees.

150. You'll need to come up with funny banter,

151. take jabs at your fellow nominees,

152. and if you win,

153. you better have an unforgettable acceptance speech.

154. The categories are:

155. "Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen,"

156. presented by Jaidynn Diore Fierce

157. and Kennedy Davenport.

158. "Most Busted Queen," presented by Pearl and Max.

159. "The Shadiest Queen," presented by Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

160. And, my favorite, "the Meatiest Tuck,"

161. presented by Violet Chachki and Miss Fame.

162. Kasha Davis and Katya,

163. you won the mini-challenge, so you'll be our Despy Co-Hosts.

164. Now, to help you punch up your material,

165. - Kathy Griffin is back. - Yes, girl!

166. Gentleman, start your engines and may the best woman win.

167. - So, meatiest tuck. - Okay.

168. Let's talk about that.

169. - So, me and Miss Fame sit down together.

170. We start writing jokes and neither of us are comedy queens.

171. With Pearl, the only thing showing outward—

172. showing outward emotion is between her legs.

173. Okay, well, what do you think is funny?

174. I don't know. We are both drawing a blank

175. because you're looking at me

176. and I'm looking at the paper. The words are escaping me.

177. Well, I'm thinking my ideas are somewhat decent,

178. and you're like, "No."

179. If you think it's funny then present it in a comical way.

180. Fame and Violet,

181. neither one of them have really shown a whole lot

182. of comedic value in this competition so far,

183. so I'll be interested

184. to see if they come up with any jokes at all.

185. This is stressing me out.

186. We've got to get it together.

187. Coming up...

188. I want to make sure that, this week, you up the ante.

189. Well, you kind of, like, told me I had no personality.

190. I feel very uncomfortable right now.

191. I want to read everybody, including ourselves.

192. For this week's challenge, we all have to present

193. at an award show, the Despies.

194. We have to write jokes

195. and we have to present them live in front of an audience.

196. I want to win.

197. So, what's our game plan?

198. What you got?

199. - You got anything? - Mm-mm.

200. I don't know nothing about this award show stuff,

201. but we're gonna sit down and we're gonna write us some jokes.

202. "Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we are here to present

203. the Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen awards."

204. I'm very confident in doing comedy.

205. "And the nominees are..."

206. No.

207. I mean, I won last week's challenge.

208. No. No. Uh-uh.

209. Don't write it like that.

210. In that order, right here,

211. - "Back to the nominee." - Oh, okay.

212. We just need to transition and then we can leave.

213. Hush.

214. I know she's a little bit irritated.

215. Without saying, I think she was kind of saying, "Oh, girl,

216. I wish I had somebody else that was funnier."

217. Okay, well I guess I'ma be quiet.

218. - Hey, kitty girl. Hi.

219. Is everyone getting excited for the Despies?

220. - Yeah. - Oh, yes.

221. Hey, girls.

222. Hello, darling.

223. You all are opening the show,

224. - so there's extra pressure. - Yeah.

225. - Definitely. Definitely. - But you've hosted

226. - shows before? - Yes.

227. Who are you patterning your banter after?

228. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes was...

229. - Yes. - Perfection.

230. - It was perfection. - So, that is kind

231. of what I have in my mind.

232. We were talking about Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis

233. and she's like, "Who?"

234. I'm educating this youngster.

235. I'm not actually that young.

236. I'm just ignorant.

237. Well, listen, you kids have a lot of work to do.

238. - Yes. - Your big opening

239. is the one we're looking at.

240. - No pressure. - No.

241. All right. Thank you.

242. - Hey, kitty girl. - Hi, Ru.

243. Now, have either of you done comedy before?

244. Never.

245. Do you two have banter prepared

246. or... What's your chemistry like?

247. You know what? We're two very different people.

248. I had to think about working with somebody like her.

249. She's dark-sided.

250. So basically if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

251. We're really just brainstorming right now

252. and seeing what we can play off of, you know,

253. and make it funny and twist it in kind of a...

254. A dark-sided kind of way.

255. You know, being dark-sided is one thing

256. but, you know, being funny is a completely different thing.

257. Violet and Fame...

258. Oh, that's gonna be a laugh riot.

259. Hi.

260. - Hello. - Hi.

261. Now, you're a host of the show, aren't you?

262. Yes, actually, I host several shows around Orlando.

263. And what about you? Do you have comedy in your background?

264. If a joke or two comes out when I'm a little tipsy,

265. it just comes out,

266. but I am not, like, a funny girl.

267. So how are you gonna make it funny?

268. Um, she is gonna be, like, throwing shade at me

269. and I'm going to be throwing shade at her and—

270. Well, I just want to tell you,

271. ladies, you know, it's important to create a moment.

272. That's what's gonna stand out.

273. When you think about the year

274. that Sally Fields won her second Oscar,

275. you don't remember anything else about that award ceremony

276. except for her saying, you know, "You like me.

277. You really like me." You know.

278. So do something special.

279. Mm-hmm.

280. - Hey, ladies. - Hello, darling.

281. - Hi, RuPaul. - So,

282. what award are you presenting?

283. We get to present the Most Busted Drag Queen.

284. Gives us an opportunity to be a little bit more cutting.

285. Great, because this is about funny banter.

286. We're gonna go off of, like,

287. a subtlety thing where it's just,

288. like, speaking just very soft and gentle, but very cutty.

289. What you're describing is not the easiest thing to pull off.

290. Now, you have a very big personality.

291. Pearl, you do not have a very big personality.

292. How are you gonna overcome that for this award?

293. Um, I think that I have a great personality, actually.

294. Pearl, you know, the reason I'm twisting your tits here

295. is because you were in the bottom last week.

296. - Right. - And I want to make sure

297. that this week you up the ante.

298. Well, you kind of, like, told me I had no personality.

299. I mean, that doesn't make me feel good or give me confidence.

300. Well, I'm hoping it will light a fire under your ass.

301. Is there something on my face?

302. No, I'm just not convinced.

303. I'm just not convinced and I want you to do well,

304. that's why I brought your ass here.

305. It's so... intense.

306. I never want to see any of my girls

307. not live up to their potential.

308. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

309. Yeah, I'm aware of that.

310. Yeah.

311. All right.

312. I will see you all later.

313. Thank you, Ru.

314. I feel very uncomfortable right now.

315. I'm, like, tripping.

316. I don't know what...

317. to do.

318. I'm just over this bull.

319. We're gonna finish writing this.

320. We're gonna make it really good. We're gonna impress Kathy.

321. Pearl walked out of the workroom.

322. I'm not sure she's coming back at all.

323. - Coming up... - Now,

324. we're at the point of editing and Pearl's still not there.

325. What the hell is going on?

326. There was a standoff between Ru and Pearl.

327. She ended up walking out.

328. I'm scared that she's not gonna come back,

329. 'cause this is like a co-presenter team sort of thing.

330. So...

331. "But enough about us, we want to thank you, the audience."

332. Kasha and I are getting through our routines.

333. Now, we're at the point of editing and I look back

334. and Pearl's still not there.

335. And I'm like, "What the hell is going on?"

336. How are you feeling?

337. Pearl feels defeated and I'm like,"

338. That energy can't be in this situation.

339. I'm hoping that we're just gonna be able to shake this off.

340. She knows that if she doesn't do well tomorrow,

341. she will probably be saying good-bye.

342. Hi!

343. Hello.

344. Kasha and I are about to have our queen back session

345. with the comedy coach, the one and only, Kathy Griffin.

346. It is so great to meet you and see you.

347. I'm pretty sure that we are gonna knock this one

348. - out of the park. - All right, what you got?

349. "Enough about us,

350. - we want to thank you..." - I'm going to cut that line.

351. Every award show says "enough about us." Okay, go ahead.

352. "Ginger Minj is in the house tonight,

353. or as I like to call her, the Danny DeVito of Drag."

354. Danny DeVito?

355. That's, like, the least gay reference

356. - I've ever heard in my life. - No, it's just because she's—

357. - Gay it up! - Because she's, like, so...

358. Gayer! More gay!

359. She's just like, "Nope! That's not good. Not good.

360. Shorten that. Cut this. Do this."

361. So it throws me for a loop.

362. And then, we're going to just intro to the first presenters

363. - and then that was it. - So, what did you have?

364. Just, "And the first presenters are,"?

365. We're like, "Back to the drawing board."

366. "Girl, you look nice tonight."

367. "Girl, you look nice, girl."

368. "Girl, do you know what we look like for real?"

369. - "Girl, what?" - "The number 10."

370. "Girl, you is a trip."

371. Okay, stop.

372. No more "girls."

373. You're starting every sentence with girl.

374. To me, it's like halfway there.

375. Okay, girl.

376. "Due to her Craigslist ad,

377. "I could've sworn she was a pig bottom.

378. floss, anyone?"

379. Okay. I'm gonna stop you.

380. I think it's a little too blue

381. and you're hearing that from me, so...

382. What does that mean, "blue"?

383. Words that may be bleeped would be considered blue humor.

384. The more you know.

385. "We're simply thrilled to be looking down

386. upon your oily faces."

387. "It's like looking into the mosh pit

388. at a Nickelback concert,

389. except with less class and more body odor."

390. Oh, God. Oy.

391. All right, I love that you are shady and fun and snarky.

392. Don't direct it at the audience and the judges.

393. It turns into just such a shade fest,

394. you kind of just end up turning them off.

395. All right.

396. I think I just completely changed your opening.

397. After this whole altercation happened,

398. there's a lot of pressure to deliver.

399. We need to kill it.

400. "And the nominees are..."

401. "A girl who puts the in country..."

402. All right, that's a Rosanne Cash joke,

403. so just rewrite that one.

404. "Tonight, we are gathered here to celebrate

405. the biggest and brightest stars in our industry."

406. "Unfortunately, none of them were available."

407. I feel like, ugh, it's a couple of drag queens

408. throwing the same old shade at each other.

409. Give 'em something new.

410. I used to think I was funny until I met Kathy Griffin.

411. I might have to call my momma

412. and have her tell me how good I am.

413. Oh, girl.

414. The next thing we have to do is to vote on which queen

415. we think should be nominated for each category.

416. Whoever wins the award,

417. you get a real sense of what the other queens think of you.

418. The shadiest queen?

419. Violet is going to take that one.

420. By a landslide.

421. Another glorious day.

422. Today, we're getting ready for the first annual Despy Awards.

423. I'm just happy to be nominated.

424. I'm feeling so much better today.

425. How about you?

426. I feel very good today,

427. and thank you for being so supportive and amazing.

428. I'm just gonna have fun with it and do a good job

429. and bow out gracefully if that's what destiny has in store.

430. Sometimes I do feel like I am stuck in my shell.

431. The majority of my teen years were spent really angry

432. and dealing with, like, abandonment issues and...

433. I didn't know how to talk to people.

434. I know that a lot of my issues stem from that experience, so,

435. if I can learn here

436. that it's cool to open up more—

437. "Come out of your shell, Pearl"--

438. it'll be a good thing in the end.

439. Ooh, when I think about chicken

440. It makes me happy

441. I love chickens. They're my favorite animal.

442. I grew up on a farm with hundreds of chickens

443. and my job was to raise them to be beautiful and flawless

444. for the fair.

445. You can blow-dry them and use vitamin E on their feet.

446. Liquid bluing makes a white chicken sparkle.

447. You basically flip 'em upside down, showing the asshole

448. to the judge and then they say, "Your bird's healthy."

449. When I was a kid, I used to go outside

450. and sing random songs to my chickens.

451. - What? - And I would,

452. like, get into it, and I'm like,

453. "They love it."

454. Bitch, this visual

455. you just gave me, I'm picturing you in a barn,

456. like, covered in hay.

457. I hatched chickens underneath my bed in an incubator.

458. This chicken actually won me and award, right here.

459. Animals were my best friends.

460. Imagine me about 30 pounds heavier and a big nerd

461. and loving chickens.

462. That's how I talk to chickens.

463. I feel good about us, Fame.

464. I think it's good that we're getting to know each other.

465. Working with you has been such a pleasure.

466. I can't wait until I outshine you.

467. Violet, shut your hole.

468. I can see how Fame thinks I'm a dark witch or whatever,

469. but I really like Miss Fame.

470. Today, I'm starting to really see a change

471. in Violet for the better.

472. It's nice. I'm probably one of the only people

473. she's considering a friend right now,

474. and she does need a friend.

475. Cover girl, put the bass in your walk

476. Head to toe

477. Let your whole body talk

478. And what?

479. Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

480. Michelle Visage, have you got your thighs on the prize?

481. Always.

482. Super judge Ross Mathews.

483. You're an award I'd love to win.

484. And fabulous award-winning designer,

485. my pal, Isaac Mizrahi.

486. House of Mizrahi representing.

487. Don't you forget it, okay?

488. Time for a death drop.

489. Get ready to gag.

490. Sickening.

491. Could you imagine if I did a death drop right now?

492. I don't know if the AARP covers death drops.

493. This week, we challenged our queens

494. to put on an awards show like no other.

495. Tonight, they valet their limousines

496. and they're ready to snatch some trophies.

497. Gentlemen, start your engines,

498. and may the best woman win.

499. Coming up...

500. I am so honored to be here at the first annual Despy Awards.

501. And I'm working off community service.

502. Almost live from the slums of Hollywood,

503. the first annual Despy Awards.

504. And now, our hostesses with the mostesses,

505. Mrs. Kasha Davis and Katya.

506. Oh, my goodness, everyone.

507. We want to welcome to—

508. welcome you to the first annual Despy Awards.

509. Now, Katya, what in the hell does Despy stand for?

510. Well, judging from the looks of the nominees,

511. I'm gonna go with

512. Desperate Egotistical Sluts Prancing in the Yard.

513. Got it.

514. The talented Ginger Minj is here tonight,

515. or as I like to refer to her, the Danny DeVito of drag.

516. And we have in our presence, Miss Lame.

517. Shame. Pain.

518. - Whatever. - Whatever.

519. The gorgeous Pearl,

520. the drag equivalent of a Valium taking a Xanax in a K-hole.

521. And last, but not least...

522. - As usual. - We have...

523. Violet.

524. Please, welcome to the stage the stars of Tyler Perry's

525. Roots, Kennedy Davenport and Miss Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

526. Hello, everyone.

527. Straight from Kunta Kinte's hut...

528. The hourglass and the wall clock.

529. Hold on, who's the wall clock?

530. - Step over there. - Okay...

531. - Do this. - Okay...

532. My point.

533. Anyways, we are here to present this award

534. for the Sexy, Sexy Drag Queen.

535. Let us announce these awful nominees.

536. Kandy Ho.

537. And we all know how she got that last name.

538. In the back alley, honey.

539. Whore.

540. Miss Fame.

541. Oh, the brand.

542. Since when did the dollar store become a brand?

543. And Max.

544. Girl, ain't that the queen from that movie Powder?

545. - The winner... - Girl.

546. Is...

547. Miss Fame.

548. And I wish I could cry but God damn Botox got me every time.

549. Other than that, I'd like to thank Mexico for the tapeworm

550. that snatched my body, and the man upstairs.

551. Thank you so much for the light. I look great.

552. Thank you so much.

553. Next up, Pearl and Max.

554. It is a true honor to be presenting the Despy Award

555. for Most Busted Drag Queen.

556. What is a busted drag queen?

557. I'm glad you asked.

558. Oh, yes.

559. The nominees are, Mrs. Potato—

560. I mean, Miss Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

561. Miss Ginger Minj.

562. "Girl.

563. "After we swing on by Gatorland,

564. "we can get on back to my apartment

565. - and swing on my husband." - Oh!

566. The Brooke Hogan of drag, Katya.

567. And last, but certainly not youngest, Mrs. Kasha Davis.

568. Did you hear that, dear?

569. And the winner is...

570. Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

571. Oh, congratulations.

572. Thank you to all my fellow horrible drag queens.

573. I hope you all burn in hell.

574. And I mean it.

575. Next up, Ginger Minj and Kandy Ho.

576. I am so honored to be here at the first annual Despy Awards.

577. And I'm working off community service.

578. We've gathered the very best to present the award

579. for the Shadiest Shade.

580. Condragulations, Kandy!

581. Oh, I think it's high time

582. that your beard gets the public recognition it deserves.

583. No, no, Ginger.

584. This award is for that girl who knows how to throw the shade

585. and not apply it.

586. And the nominees are...

587. The girl who puts the fun in elephant, Ginger Minj.

588. The—how do I say this

589. and remain socially responsible?

590. "Black horse" of the competition,

591. Kennedy Davenport.

592. And last, as usual, Violet Chachki.

593. And the award goes to...

594. Violet Chachki.

595. Oh.

596. You don't like me.

597. You really don't like me.

598. And last, but not least, God. Thanks.

599. Next up, Miss Fame and Violet Chachki.

600. Are there any married couples in the house?

601. Michelle Visage, how long?

602. - 17 years. - Ooh, girl, no.

603. How long?

604. As someone who is highly experienced with handling meat,

605. I cannot wait to hear the nominees for Meatiest Tuck.

606. Oh, so you work in meat packing?

607. - You could say that. - Oh.

608. Well, let's go ahead and receive the nominees.

609. Katya. V.I.P.

610. Very impressive package.

611. - Jaidynn Diore Fierce. - Hey, girl.

612. Meatiest tuck? Girl, let's be honest.

613. It looks like she smuggled a honey baked ham in her panties.

614. That brings us to our last nominee.

615. Pearl.

616. Pearl's tucking ability is just like her personality.

617. Semi-precious, exhausted, and barely there.

618. And, the Despy Award goes to...

619. Katya.

620. I believe it was the great American painter Bob Ross,

621. who said, "The key to a swollen vagina is courage."

622. Have a good night, everyone.

623. - Thank you so much. - Good night.

624. Coming up...

625. You need to take it way over the crazy-ass top.

626. I don't see anything over-the-top about you.

627. Are you kidding me?

628. Welcome, ladies.

629. First, I want to remind you that being nominated is an honor,

630. but winning is so much better.

631. Thank you, Television Critics Association.

632. Now, based on your Despy presentations,

633. I've made some decisions.

634. Max and Pearl...

635. Condragulations.

636. You're the winners of this week's challenge.

637. You've each won a custom jewel package from Fierce Drag Jewels.

638. Oh.

639. Completely unexpected and I am on top of the moon.

640. See?

641. Thank you, darling.

642. RuPaul, you gave me the smack down yesterday.

643. - And it worked. - Yes, it worked.

644. Thank you. I appreciate you.

645. Thank you.

646. Kennedy Davenport and Jaidynn Diore Fierce...

647. You are safe.

648. Thank you, Ru.

649. You may leave the stage.

650. Ladies, it's time for the judges' critiques.

651. First up, Mrs. Kasha Davis.

652. You look gorgeous,

653. but you need to take it way over the crazy-ass top.

654. I don't see anything over-the-top about you.

655. That's a hard job, opening the show.

656. That's tough, you know,

657. to be overshadowed by the people following you.

658. Next up, Katya.

659. You guys struggled together in the opening a little bit,

660. but when you accepted your award,

661. I thought you were so funny.

662. Tonight, for your look,

663. I just want a little bit more volume on your hair.

664. Are you kidding me?

665. This is from the Brooke Hogan Collection.

666. Get out your rattail, girl, and start teasing.

667. - Give us some kind of volume. - Okay.

668. Thank you, New Jersey's Michelle Visage.

669. Thank you.

670. Next up, Ginger Minj.

671. Your performance, you had, like, an All About Eve,

672. Nomi Malone in Showgirls on the stairs kind of moment

673. where you were like, "Get out of my way.

674. This is my moment now," and it was fun to see.

675. I want you to cut back a little on your black spray.

676. My felt forehead?

677. Just cut it back a little bit, girl.

678. Next up, Kandy Ho.

679. You look like Natalie Wood,

680. but this dress is not my favorite thing I ever saw.

681. I think it's, like, swallowing you up in not a good way.

682. Unfortunately, you were paired with Ginger,

683. so it's up to you to up your game

684. to try to keep up with somebody like that,

685. and she stole the show.

686. Thank you, Kandy.

687. Next up, Violet Chachki.

688. You are so fabulous looking.

689. I look at you and I go, "That's a modern queen."

690. So refined.

691. About your performance, you have a tendency to speed up.

692. - You speed up in this way... - Totally.

693. So, you need to let us hear it, so we can actually laugh.

694. Why do you think they voted you shadiest queen?

695. There is some truth to it.

696. My guess is that you spend a lot of time by yourself

697. reading fashion magazines.

698. Definitely looking at fashion all the time.

699. I mean, obviously the Internet happened, Ru.

700. I don't know if you heard of it.

701. Oh.

702. - All right, thanks, Violet. - Thank you.

703. Next up, Miss Fame.

704. The short sleeve turtleneck with the opera length glove

705. just makes me so happy.

706. Your performance with Violet,

707. I think the whole thing was a little low-energy for me

708. and didn't really hit.

709. But I think there's a funniness about you.

710. You give me a modern thing about comedy.

711. I can really see you consciously trying to

712. show us more than just beauty.

713. I'm just wanting to get past my own head.

714. How is your head?

715. I'm thinking a lot and I know you guys can see that.

716. I don't even know how to turn off my thinker.

717. - Hasn't had any complaints yet. - Oh, okay.

718. Thank you, Miss Fame.

719. All right, thank you, ladies.

720. I think we've heard enough.

721. While you untuck backstage,

722. the judges and I will deliberate.

723. Just between us gladiators...

724. What do you think?

725. Starting with Kasha Davis.

726. Here's someone who really has the chops

727. and didn't bring it tonight.

728. I find that very frustrating.

729. This is like a workhorse queen, you know,

730. and a workhorse queen

731. has to make us laugh the minute we see her.

732. It didn't happen tonight.

733. You know, I could be wrong.

734. Maybe she's hilarious.

735. - No. - Katya.

736. Katya really had a great moment with her acceptance speech.

737. She wasn't necessarily funny in the opening in the show,

738. so I was so happy she had that moment.

739. As a long-time fan of the show,

740. what I love are the layers and layers of irony,

741. and with Katya,

742. there is a core of irony.

743. Kandy Ho.

744. Thank God Kandy was wearing that hot blue

745. because otherwise she would've been gone.

746. Ginger ate her up.

747. Kandy Ho is fading away for me.

748. Ginger Minj.

749. Well, I thought Ginger was a powerhouse tonight.

750. Don't you think, because her partner didn't get

751. any of the punchlines,

752. does she have any responsibility for that?

753. No. I mean, that's showbiz, kid.

754. Sometimes, you got to elbow

755. your way to the front of the stage.

756. Well, remind me never to perform on the same stage

757. as Ross, okay?

758. Miss Fame.

759. I think there was a little stumbling

760. but she picked herself back up.

761. Looking at her just makes me live, die,

762. and then come back to life.

763. It's so fresh to have a queen look like that

764. and then be this kind of,

765. like, honest goofy kid.

766. - Yeah. - Violet Chachki.

767. I was paying attention to the jokes about her today

768. from the other queens.

769. I don't think they like her very much.

770. I don't think she interacts very well with the other girls.

771. She is a child of the Internet.

772. That is something you do alone.

773. And, to be quite frank, she wasn't necessarily funny

774. and it was kind of a letdown.

775. Come on, her acceptance speech was hilarious.

776. Excuse me, like, who doesn't want to be

777. the shadiest queen in the room?

778. I mean, how punk rock is that?

779. Silence.

780. I've made my decision.

781. Bring back my girls?

782. Welcome back, ladies.

783. I've made some decisions.

784. Ginger Minj...

785. You're safe.

786. Kandy Ho...

787. Tonight you looked like Natalie Wood,

788. but your delivery was a little wooden.

789. I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

790. Miss Fame...

791. You're safe.

792. Katya...

793. You're safe.

794. Violet Chachki...

795. Your jokes got lost in the shade.

796. Mrs. Kasha Davis,

797. your big opening was a little sloppy.

798. Mrs. Kasha Davis, I'm sorry, my dear,

799. but you are up for elimination.

800. Violet Chachki...

801. You're safe.

802. Two queens stand before me.

803. Ladies, this is your last chance

804. to impress me and save yourself from elimination.

805. Time has come. I want you to lip-synch...

806. For your life.

807. I absolutely deserve to be in this competition.

808. Ru, I am ready. Let's do this.

809. Good luck and don't it up.

810. Coffee, tea on me baby

811. Touche ole

812. My opening line might be a bit passe, yes

813. But don't think that I don't know what I'm feeling for ya

814. Mrs. Kasha Davis just pulls up the slit in that skirt

815. and, honey, she is serving these young kids.

816. I need your love, and I won't bring no pain

817. A little birdie told me that you feel the same game

818. Don't think that I don't know what it's doing to me

819. 'Cause I got a vibe on you the first time

820. you saw through me, through me

821. I'm for the real

822. Miss Kandy, she start off slow and sexy,

823. and then she worked her way up and she just hit in her gear.

824. I am living for it.

825. All I wanna do is be your one and only lover

826. I just want to be

827. Your lovergirl

828. Oh yeah yeah yeah

829. Yeeeaaaaaah!

830. Coffee tea on me baby touche a la my opening line might be

831. a bit passe but don't

832. Whoo-hoo.

833. Ladies, I've made my decision.

834. Kandy Ho, shante, you stay.

835. Thank you.

836. Mrs. Kasha Davis, you're terrific.

837. Now, call Mr. Davis and tell him momma's coming home.

838. He better have that box wine chilling.

839. Sashay away.

840. - Love you, gals. - Love you.

841. There's always time for a cocktail.

842. What the hell? I wasn't ready leave.

843. One of the things I think that frustrated me

844. the most were certain people that,

845. like, sort of gave up, you know?

846. And that kind of pisses me off, but such is life.

847. It's the game.

848. Condragulations, ladies.

849. Remember, if you can't love yourself,

850. how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

851. Can I get a amen up in here?

852. Amen.

853. All right, now let the music play.

854. Bye!