RuPaul's Drag Race 4x7

1. Previously on

2. "RuPaul's Drag Race."

3. The theme for this year's pride

4. is hope floats.

5. Jiggly is a hot mess.

6. What the fuck is this?

7. Ahoy.

8. Orange Jigglyus.

9. Does her snake have one eye

10. or two?

11. I'm giving you maritime

12. realness with the Sasha

13. of Willam.

14. Milan.

15. Her body language is totally

16. dude in a dress.

17. Willam, condragulations, you

18. are the winner of this

19. challenge.

20. Jiggly Caliente, shanté, you

21. stay.

22. Milan, sashay away.

23. And tonight get out your library

24. card.

25. Oh!

26. The library is open.

27. You're such a fat slut, after

28. sex, you smoke ham.

29. And the dolls go

30. glossy.

31. And you have to spot me.

32. With extra-special

33. guest judges Regina King

34. and Pam Tillis.

35. The winner of "RuPaul's Drag

36. Race" will receive a lifetime

37. supply of NYX Cosmetics; a

38. one-of-a-kind trip courtesy of

39. ALandCHUCK.travel; headline

40. Logo's Drag Race Tour featuring

41. Absolut Vodka, cocktails

42. perfected; and a cash prize

43. of $100,000.

44. And may the best woman win.

45. Gentlemen, start your engines

46. "RuPaul's Drag Race"

47. May the best woman win

48. "RuPaul's Drag Race"

49. Gentlemen, start your engines

50. "RuPaul's Drag Race"

51. May the best woman win

52. Cluck cluck, ladies.

53. Where's our hangars?

54. Uh-oh!

55. Milan's gone, and now

56. it's down to the lucky seven.

57. "Cover girl, why your base

58. look like chalk?"

59. I love Milan, you guys.

60. Milan was a class act.

61. How did it feel to lip sync

62. against her, mama?

63. Were you scared?

64. No, 'cause I know Milan is

65. good, but then I know I'm good,

66. too.

67. Well... do you think you're

68. gonna win the show?

69. That was an awkwardly long

70. pause.

71. Yeah.

72. I was at the bottom

73. two twice, so the girls are just

74. kind of, like, assuming that I

75. ain't shit.

76. You went from a baked potato

77. to a sweet potato.

78. Sweet potatoes have

79. antioxidants.

80. But they're better.

81. It's a good fat, as they say.

82. Dumb ass bitches.

83. I'm gonna fight 'til the end.

84. I just want to see her do what I

85. did.

86. Want to see me do a split?

87. Go ahead, jump into a split.

88. Can't jump into a split.

89. Thank you, then shut the fuck

90. up, bitch.

91. All right.

92. Oh, girl, you've got

93. shemail.

94. Extra, extra, tweet all about

95. it.

96. Like a rolling stone, today's

97. queen on the down low needs to

98. be a real hustler, on time, and

99. always in style.

100. So start spreading the news

101. 'cause you're gonna wake up in a

102. cyber city that never sleeps.

103. Hello, hello, hello.

104. Hi.

105. My legendary children, in the

106. great tradition of "Paris is

107. Burning," get out your library

108. cards.

109. Yah!

110. Because reading is what?

111. Fundamental.

112. Oh, god.

113. Now, for today's

114. mini-challenge, you'll take

115. turns throwing shade.

116. Hashtag the library is open.

117. Twenty-first century reading,

118. darlings.

119. All right, ladies, first up,

120. Dida Ritz.

121. I'm gonna try.

122. I don't know how to really read

123. that well, so...

124. Does someone smell that?

125. What? What is it?

126. Oh, that's just Sharon

127. Needles.

128. Ah!

129. Jiggly Caliente, you should

130. feel honored.

131. The first contestant in

132. "RuPaul's Drag Race" history

133. with child.

134. Latrice Royale, you're free

135. now.

136. You don't have to wear

137. the yard sandals anymore.

138. Ah!

139. Jiggly Caliente.

140. Darling, what do you see?

141. Bitches.

142. Oh, uh-oh.

143. Dida, let me start with you,

144. boo.

145. There's lotion in my purse.

146. You need to use 'em on your

147. elbows and your knees.

148. You look like you been driving

149. through flour, baby.

150. Mama Chad,

151. it's called Forever 21,

152. not Forever 41.

153. Ha ha!

154. Willam, honey, your face is

155. made out of marble—shit don't

156. move.

157. Uh-oh.

158. Uh, Jujubee,

159. you know, helium

160. is for balloons, not your

161. stomach.

162. Oh, and, you know, Willam, I

163. know you're talented at, you

164. know, buying shoes, but are you

165. talented at, you know, drag?

166. You know, Sharon, I love how you

167. rock the Party City.

168. That's where I got your Lady

169. Gaga wig.

170. Phi Phi sucked.

171. Dida Ritz, I don't know what

172. that is, haute couture or hot

173. coutorn 'cause there's holes in

174. that shirt.

175. Phi Phi, you are gorgeous.

176. You catch the camera's eye from

177. the right, but from the left,

178. you snag it.

179. Oh!

180. Chad Michaels, you so old,

181. you still on myspace.com,

182. Chad Michaels.

183. I was gonna take that down.

184. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

185. to the RuPaul Ball.

186. Tonight in the category of butch

187. queen, Dida Ritz.

188. Jiggly, I love you.

189. Come to mother dust, come here.

190. Come to me.

191. Come to me.

192. I won't hurt you.

193. Here's my dentist's card.

194. Oh, wow.

195. Use it.

196. Willam Belli.

197. Willam Belli loves to live his

198. life and thinks that he's Carrie

199. Bradshaw, but in the sequel,

200. she'll be playing Scary

201. Bradshaw.

202. Uh-oh!

203. Jiggly Caliente, BMW—

204. body made wrong.

205. Phi Phi O'Hara, although reading

206. is fundamental, darling, you

207. might learn how to spell first,

208. you illiterate fuck.

209. Willam, Miss Industry.

210. Congratulation on your new role

211. as the big bad wolf

212. by the hair on your

213. chinny-chin-chin.

214. Sharon Needles, two words—

215. sideshow freak.

216. Ho ho ho!

217. Dida Ritz, a lot of you girls

218. like to cluck me for painting my

219. skin on the gray side, but I was

220. inspired by your knees.

221. They're the same color as

222. Willam's chin.

223. Phi Phi O'Hara, what brand of

224. make-up do you wear?

225. Sherman Williams?

226. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

227. That was a weak one.

228. Jiggly Caliente, you're such

229. a fat slut, after sex, you smoke

230. ham.

231. The library is permanently

232. shut down.

233. Oh, no tea, no shade.

234. And the winner is...

235. Latrice Royale.

236. Ah!

237. Is the winner.

238. Yes.

239. Condragulations, darling.

240. Thank you, mama.

241. My girls, for this week's

242. main challenge, I need you to

243. conquer the world of publishing.

244. You'll be launching your very

245. own dragazines.

246. Oh, pit crew.

247. As editor-in-chief, you'll each

248. be assigned a different title,

249. and then it's up to you to

250. create a cover, choose the

251. articles, and really make it

252. your own.

253. Now, Latrice, since you won the

254. mini-challenge, you get to

255. assign the dragazines.

256. Oh.

257. She's picking "Battle of the

258. Bulge," health and fitness.

259. Jiggly Caliente.

260. Wow.

261. "Tastes Like Chicken."

262. For food lovers.

263. Dida Ritz.

264. Uh-oh, "Sugar Walls."

265. Now, this is home decor.

266. Willam, editor-in-chief, "Kitty

267. Cats."

268. Meow! For cat lovers.

269. Meow!

270. "Kitty Cats."

271. I love pussy.

272. Yes, who doesn't?

273. "Sashay Away," travel.

274. Phi Phi O'Hara.

275. Are you trying to say

276. something?

277. Please do.

278. And last but not

279. least for fashion, "Eleganza"

280. goes to Chad Michaels, which

281. leaves "What's the T?" celebrity

282. gossip for Latrice Royale.

283. All right, ladies, you are on a

284. tight deadline, so get to work.

285. Gentlemen, start your engines,

286. and may the best woman win.

287. I think what makes this

288. challenge so hard is we've not

289. had to do anything like this.

290. It kind of separates the

291. intellectual people from the

292. not-so-intellectual people.

293. Jiggly does go

294. right for that snack bin, honey.

295. It helps her think, I think.

296. Crunch, crunch.

297. "Oh, yeah, I got an idea."

298. Crunch, crunch.

299. "Health and Fitness."

300. Ha!

301. Jiggly.

302. Any complaints?

303. What the fuck do I

304. know about working out?

305. I know, right?

306. Ha ha!

307. Shit!

308. See? I'm helping you out,

309. girl.

310. Did they send me out

311. to make this comedy?

312. Never hurts.

313. You got to grab their attention

314. using, like, the headlines that

315. are on your back-to-front cover.

316. The thing is that me

317. and comedy obviously doesn't

318. mix.

319. I think I'm just gonna be real

320. about it.

321. I do not suggest you do

322. this for real.

323. I'm sorry.

324. I think you should make it

325. funny.

326. Everybody likes to laugh.

327. That's my advice to you.

328. My only advice with that if

329. you feel like you can get more

330. with the serious route or rather

331. you have a consistent magazine

332. that you can follow by.

333. Phi Phi, shady.

334. 'Cause if you fuck up funny,

335. then it's gonna fuck up bad.

336. Exactly.

337. For me it's hard to

338. find the funny in weight loss.

339. Hell, no, no.

340. I'm gonna be serious, and I'm

341. gonna do this the right way

342. emotionally.

343. He's doing it seriously wrong

344. for his.

345. What?

346. Are you kidding?

347. His humor's, like, his strongest

348. thing.

349. You know that he's gonna mess

350. up if he does, like, serious.

351. I think you should do serious.

352. I'm tired of Jiggly.

353. She doesn't belong here.

354. Send her ass home.

355. Did you want to help pack his

356. bags?

357. Ha ha ha!

358. Coming up.

359. Embrace the Jiggly.

360. It's not rocket science.

361. Oh.

362. Who else would think of

363. chicken of the month?

364. Well...

365. I believe in my idea, and if

366. it makes me have to lip sync for

367. my life, then so be it.

368. Ha ha!

369. Ha ha!

370. Ah, you... that...

371. Today we get to be

372. editors-in-chief of our own

373. dragazines.

374. I have "Tastes Like Chicken."

375. We have to design a cover, pose

376. for it, and come up with five

377. catchy headlines.

378. How to stop over-salting your

379. foods 'cause I always hear

380. people talk about that, like

381. people always salt their food

382. too much, you know.

383. I really want to, like, almost

384. class this up a little bit.

385. It could easily come off as

386. offensive.

387. You know, a black woman on the

388. cover of a magazine saying—with

389. a title like that.

390. Ha ha!

391. Girl, go on!

392. It's like I don't even like

393. to really eat chicken in public.

394. Girl, really?

395. I don't eat watermelon

396. in public 'cause people

397. are ignorant and people make

398. comments.

399. I know, girl, but—

400. It's disrespectful and rude.

401. Five g's, please.

402. 'Cause it's not that serious.

403. Really?

404. You're a dude in a wig.

405. Latrice, she set you up.

406. She set me up.

407. Latrice was trying to dupe a

408. bitch.

409. Hee hee!

410. Hello, hello, hello.

411. Hi, Ru.

412. Hi.

413. How are my future media

414. moguls doing?

415. Fabulous.

416. Well, well, busy at work

417. here.

418. "Tastes Like Chicken."

419. How are you gonna convey Dida in

420. chicken of the month?

421. Well, chicken of the month, I

422. mean, there's so many different

423. ways you can cook chicken.

424. Seriously?

425. I would have took that whole

426. chicken thing into a whole

427. different direction.

428. You can broil it,

429. you can fry it.

430. But how will know this is

431. Dida?

432. It's me.

433. Who else would think of chicken

434. of the month?

435. I haven't heard Oprah come up

436. with it yet.

437. I mean, you're fascinated by

438. that.

439. You want to pick up the magazine

440. and look at it.

441. Well...

442. Chicken of the month for me.

443. Uh-huh, ok.

444. I believe in my idea, and if

445. it makes me have to lip sync for

446. my life, then so be it.

447. Phi Phi O'Hara,

448. "Sashay Away."

449. So tell me about the cover.

450. Well, I'm channeling the

451. horny gay, like 69 hot sauce for

452. hook-up.

453. Now, the challenge is to

454. combine travel and Phi Phi

455. O'Hara's aesthetic.

456. How are you gonna do that?

457. Well, Phi Phi's sexy.

458. I'm just gonna, you know,

459. showcase my sexiness.

460. This reminds me of when you

461. told me you were going to make

462. Lady Gaga really pop.

463. Do you remember that

464. conversation?

465. She popped.

466. It might not have been in a good

467. way, but she popped.

468. All right, get to work.

469. All righty, thanks, Ru.

470. Willam.

471. Hi.

472. Editrix-and-chief of "Sugar

473. Walls" magazine.

474. I prefer editor-in-queef.

475. Ha ha!

476. So now who would you say is your

477. target audience for "Sugar

478. Walls"?"

479. Um... women...

480. men.

481. All of the above?

482. Uh-huh.

483. It's a little broad to just

484. do men and women.

485. And you know, there is a certain

486. aesthetic that you have that's

487. very clear cut.

488. That's what we want to see in

489. this magazine.

490. Yes, ma'am.

491. All right.

492. Jiggly Caliente.

493. Hey, mama.

494. May I call you Jiggly?

495. Oh, you can call me Jiggly

496. anytime.

497. Oh. "Battle of the Bulge."

498. Were you insulted by being

499. assigned that magazine?

500. Yes. I've done some bad

501. things to lose weight.

502. Well, what kind of things

503. have you done?

504. I decided to binge and eat a

505. lot... throw it all up.

506. And I would say that it's not

507. the smartest thing to do, and I

508. just think that when it comes to

509. weight loss, it's not a joking

510. matter.

511. You've been able to process

512. what people think of you through

513. your humor.

514. I mean, you're Jiggly Caliente.

515. That's your name.

516. Embrace the Jiggly.

517. I am, mama.

518. I'm—

519. Do you hear what I'm saying

520. to you?

521. Yes.

522. You're funny—do that.

523. It's not rocket science.

524. I'm going to stick to my guns

525. because this I will not

526. questioning this.

527. This is the right way for me.

528. Ok. All right.

529. Well, you got your work cut out

530. for you, Jiggly.

531. Yes, I do.

532. Think about it.

533. Well, Latrice Royale.

534. Girl, "What's the T?"

535. "What's the T," Ru?

536. How are you gonna

537. make your dragazine something

538. that is relevant in the 21st

539. century?

540. You're gonna want to buy it

541. once you see me on the cover

542. because everyone knows that

543. Latrice is the true T.

544. Well, the publications at the

545. grocery store have stars on the

546. cover, and they have star names

547. in their articles.

548. Oh.

549. So I'm gonna go back to my

550. research department.

551. Yes.

552. I'll get it there.

553. You get to it.

554. Thank you.

555. All right, dolls, gather

556. around.

557. Tomorrow night is the launch of

558. your dragazines.

559. We'll be joined by our

560. extra-special guest judges

561. platinum-selling country artist

562. Pam Tillis will be here.

563. Yee-haw!

564. Pam Tillis!

565. Old school country diva, honey.

566. And an actress I've loved

567. since she was a child on "227."

568. The star of TV's "Southland,"

569. Regina King will be here.

570. Yes! Yes!

571. I love Regina King.

572. She's on a show called

573. "Southland."

574. Oh, wait!

575. I was on a show called

576. "Southland."

577. On, and one last

578. thing.

579. Don't fuck it up.

580. All right, bye.

581. Bye, Ru.

582. Coming up

583. Sex sells, people,

584. sex sells.

585. Hold it, I don't want my

586. muscles showing.

587. I got to look like a woman.

588. All right, all right, Sharon,

589. I don't think this is working.

590. God. You don't know anything

591. about fashion.

592. Ha ha!

593. Ha ha!

594. Hi, gorgeous.

595. Hi. Oh!

596. Hi, how are you?

597. Good.

598. I'm Jonathan Clay Harris.

599. So what are we doing today?

600. Our challenge this week is we

601. have to develop our own

602. dragazines, so now we're gonna

603. pose for our fabulous cover.

604. My magazine is "Tastes Like

605. Chicken."

606. So I want it to be a sexy

607. magazine, but with chicken.

608. Yeah, give me some

609. sexy, sex appeal with that one.

610. Oh, my, chicken.

611. Chicken.

612. Chicken.

613. Yeah, work that

614. chicken.

615. Show me a little hunger in those

616. eyes.

617. What drag queen do you

618. know that has taken a head shot

619. with chicken?

620. Chicken.

621. And what are you

622. serving for dinner tonight?

623. Look at you, you look gorgeous.

624. Yeah, you, too.

625. Oh, thank you.

626. Have you done porn?

627. Not recently, not that I'm

628. aware of.

629. You should really

630. considerate it.

631. I thought it would be a genius

632. idea mounting the cat climber,

633. channeling my inner kitty cat.

634. Just be careful.

635. I couldn't trust

636. myself.

637. All right, all right, Sharon,

638. I don't think this is working.

639. Let's go back.

640. God, you don't know

641. anything about fashion.

642. Ok, we're gonna just do chair.

643. There you go.

644. Work that hand, "Eleganza."

645. I wanted to seem like

646. a powerful, bitchy mogul woman.

647. Let's get a little more of

648. that pussy in there.

649. There you are.

650. Beautiful, right there.

651. I was totally giving

652. the camera nothing but legs, and

653. I was giving them pure cunt

654. face.

655. Beautiful.

656. I feel sexy in

657. anything, even a body bag.

658. Hello.

659. How are you?

660. Oh, wow.

661. So what's your magazine cover

662. that you're doing today?

663. I'm doing, uh, well...

664. bulge of...

665. "Battle of the Bulge."

666. "Battle of the Bulge," ok.

667. Are those RuPaul's Iron Fist

668. shoes?

669. Yeah, these are RuPaul Iron

670. Fist shoes.

671. Those are amazing.

672. Aren't they sickening?

673. They're sickening.

674. This is the most exercise I'm

675. gonna get for the rest of my

676. life.

677. Oh, no.

678. Here we go.

679. Little kill the object.

680. Here we go.

681. God, if Phi Phi was

682. in front of me, I could knock

683. her ass out.

684. All that shit she be running her

685. mouth with.

686. Please don't trip me.

687. Come on.

688. One, two, three.

689. Ok, once more, here

690. we go.

691. Doesn't matter.

692. As long as it looks like it's in

693. the air.

694. Let's do it again.

695. Loosen a little bit.

696. Just mind your face when you're

697. jumping.

698. I'm cool.

699. One...

700. I just didn't think

701. that it kind of worked with

702. Jiggly.

703. She just seemed so completely

704. uncomfortable with the camera.

705. And you have to spot me.

706. Her eyes on me just

707. for a couple frames.

708. Gorgeous.

709. Look at those eyes.

710. So my final wardrobe for the

711. photograph is really kind of a

712. '40s glam, red carpet dress.

713. I could see someone like

714. Veronica Lake wearing it to a

715. movie premiere.

716. Add what do the

717. goggles say about your outfit?

718. The goggles say she's an

719. adventurer and she's fashion

720. forward.

721. Well, she looks like it.

722. Right now it is

723. important for me to get out

724. there and give the judges some

725. variety, to be a little bit less

726. polished, to be avant-garde.

727. I think I'm good.

728. I think we got it.

729. I want to look like like a

730. hot Miami piece of ass, like you

731. want to visit me, all right?

732. Here we go.

733. You look like it to me.

734. Good.

735. Let's do it.

736. Miami, honey.

737. I want to go for a

738. more sexier side of Phi Phi,

739. something that I haven't showed

740. yet, and I want to be, like, a

741. whore on this magazine and have

742. a whore headline.

743. Let's see some sex

744. in those eyes.

745. There we go.

746. I'm throwing you,

747. like, a Farah Fawcett sexy look,

748. and you know, I have a drink in

749. my hand.

750. I'm holding the umbrella.

751. Hold it.

752. I don't want my muscles showing.

753. I got to look like a woman.

754. You want to look at 'em?

755. Yeah, I feel sexy already, so

756. let's look at 'em.

757. I'm prettier than the other

758. girls, aren't I?

759. You can say it.

760. I'm not going to.

761. You should.

762. Delete that one.

763. That looks like a man.

764. I look like Sharon in that one.

765. Ok. Ouch.

766. Yes, mama, right there.

767. Good.

768. Beautiful.

769. Boys, I want you touching her.

770. So "What's the T?"

771. is a gossip column magazine.

772. Of course, I'm featured on the

773. cover with my boys.

774. The boys.

775. It always helps when you have

776. boys.

777. Come and join me on the couch.

778. Let's have a ménage a trois.

779. The boys of course is just for

780. my sheer amusement and

781. pleasure.

782. Come do something.

783. Come rub on me.

784. Let me rub on you.

785. Latrice,

786. look at me.

787. Eyes at me, everyone.

788. Eyes at me.

789. Sex in the face.

790. Look at me.

791. I love my boys, and

792. That's the T.

793. Sex sells, people, sex sells.

794. My overall concept is

795. strip-downed design.

796. We're gonna need some tape.

797. Your head is so unprofessional.

798. I tried to dress the pit crew

799. with lamps, put lamp shades on

800. their head, but their heads

801. aren't even and they wouldn't

802. let me put nails in them.

803. And remember to flex, boys.

804. I don't want you looking puny.

805. Ha ha!

806. No faces, you don't exist.

807. Willam was

808. beautiful and definitely knew

809. her body.

810. Ha ha!

811. I thought she was a little

812. bitchy.

813. She does look amazing.

814. Please don't address them.

815. Right.

816. Hi. You can't fuck me.

817. Ha ha!

818. Good.

819. Let's take a look at these.

820. I'm naked, I'm tan,

821. and I had boys around me.

822. I'm happy with the photo shoot.

823. All right, now clean this shit

824. up.

825. Coming up.

826. I didn't know what type of

827. magazine it was.

828. This looks like a porn thing

829. about to happen.

830. It really looks like you got

831. some hookers somewhere.

832. Well, I'm talking about cats.

833. You're a pervert.

834. Ha ha!

835. Ha ha!

836. Let me button this

837. for you.

838. Good morning, mother

839. cluckers.

840. We're back.

841. We're back.

842. We're back in the

843. workroom today, and we're

844. getting ready to present our

845. magazines on the runway

846. in our glossy glamour looks.

847. How did your challenge go for

848. you guys?

849. Mine went well.

850. I liked mind.

851. Well, you have a health

852. and fitness magazine.

853. Why would you go serious on

854. that?

855. Obviously you were assigned that

856. magazine to, you know, ham it

857. up.

858. Ah ha ha!

859. There's more to me

860. than just being funny and goofy.

861. Twelve-forty on the SATs.

862. I need to show that I have

863. intelligence.

864. Girl.

865. Latrice, does your family

866. still live—

867. Where are you from again?

868. Atlanta.

869. Have you ever been, like,

870. bullied or whatever by family?

871. From my brother, yeah.

872. He didn't want no punk for

873. a brother.

874. My dad did that in front of,

875. like, his fucking drinking

876. buddies.

877. I grew up in a house where I was

878. beat and made fun of for being

879. gay.

880. It was hell.

881. Family is supposed to love you

882. no matter what, and if that's

883. love, I don't want it.

884. You couldn't hold hands,

885. kiss, look at each other in

886. Texas without getting called a

887. faggot or anything.

888. What kills me is that they

889. want to say that we're the ones

890. destroying the institution of

891. marriage.

892. Please.

893. You know, I've met gay people

894. that don't agree with gay

895. marriage.

896. I, ok, here we go since y'all

897. brought it up.

898. Uh-oh.

899. Oh!

900. I just don't want it to be

901. called marriage.

902. For me, marriage describes a

903. straight relationship, and I

904. think we should be called

905. something else.

906. Call it something more fabulous!

907. As a gay man, it's just

908. hard for me to believe that you

909. don't want equal rights

910. for yourself.

911. I did not say that.

912. But if it's all the same

913. thing as marriage, why not call

914. it that?

915. Because it's not the

916. same thing to me.

917. Yes, it is.

918. I will be pissed if Latrice

919. is gonna be the first one

920. that gets married, too.

921. Tales for the doll.

922. I fully support gay divorce.

923. Ah Ha ha!

924. Ha ha!

925. Put some bass in your walk

926. Head to toe

927. And what?

928. Hey, guys.

929. Hey, gorgeous.

930. Welcome to the main stage of

931. "RuPaul's Drag Race."

932. Michelle Visage, you old tool.

933. Whatcha talking about, tool?

934. Ha ha!

935. On newsstands everywhere it's

936. Santino Rice.

937. Looking beautiful as a fresh

938. bruise, black and blue.

939. Grammy award-winner Pam

940. Tillis.

941. I am so excited you're here.

942. You are like a song.

943. I'm telling you.

944. Pretty!

945. And Regina King.

946. Hey, girl, you look like a cover

947. girl.

948. Oh, thank you, so do you.

949. You have to show me how you

950. create the hair blowing without

951. the fan look.

952. Ha ha!

953. This week our queens went to the

954. presses to launch a new

955. dragazine, and now they're ready

956. to pump up your circulation.

957. Gentlemen, start your engines

958. and may the best woman win.

959. First up, Sharon Needles in

960. black and white editorial.

961. She's black and

962. white and fierce all over.

963. This is a glamorous

964. look for Sharon Needles.

965. It is.

966. I'm feeling like a

967. Tim Burton vintage sci-fi

968. glamazon.

969. I feel stemmy.

970. Her butt looks awesome

971. in that dress.

972. Yes, thanks, DuPont.

973. Very "Valley of the Dolls."

974. I was thinking Jackie

975. Collins.

976. Kind of like a

977. possessed Jackie Collins.

978. Yes, yes, yes.

979. Up next, Dida Ritz.

980. Not just a cracker.

981. No.

982. What'd you call me?

983. I love the little

984. s-walk.

985. Yes. It's a strategic

986. walk so a sniper can't get her.

987. Ha ha!

988. I'm throwing to you

989. editor-in-chief realness, old

990. Hollywood glamour.

991. I feel sexy.

992. Tastes like chicken,

993. looks like fish.

994. Uh-uh.

995. Chad Michaels,

996. rock-n-roll.

997. Lita Ford.

998. Pat Benatar.

999. Tonight I'm wearing

1000. something more dangerous.

1001. My paint is much darker than

1002. usual.

1003. I'm loving my short hair.

1004. I'm feeling fantastic.

1005. "Guns and Ammo"

1006. magazine.

1007. Cover of "Rolling Stone."

1008. Where is her

1009. Stratocaster?

1010. Yes. It's hidden.

1011. Latrice Royale, "Ebony"

1012. magazine.

1013. Foldout.

1014. Yes, honey, this is a

1015. two-page spread.

1016. I walk out giving my

1017. glossy glam, very Nubian

1018. princess, lots of jewels and

1019. cleavage, and I feel gorgeous.

1020. She makes glamour

1021. look real simple.

1022. I love the jewels down

1023. the back.

1024. Yes, gorgeous.

1025. Like that character

1026. from "The Wiz."

1027. Uh-huh. Up next

1028. Willam, red carpet ready.

1029. Kylie Minogue.

1030. Kylie Min-yes.

1031. Just the whole body

1032. is jeez!

1033. Uh-huh.

1034. I feel confident on

1035. the runway.

1036. I'm just giving them cute girl,

1037. fish salad realness with a side

1038. of titty.

1039. Hollywood starlet.

1040. Back action and

1041. everything.

1042. I want a lifetime

1043. subscription.

1044. Jiggly Caliente.

1045. Venus de Brooklyn.

1046. Fill me up, buttercup.

1047. Uh-huh.

1048. I want the judges to

1049. take it all in, catch it.

1050. Look at all the frosties.

1051. I want them to try to count how

1052. many frosties are on this gown.

1053. I look like a fucking lemon

1054. drop, a blinging lemon drop.

1055. That's a pretty

1056. dress.

1057. It is gorgeous.

1058. I love me a train.

1059. Mmm.

1060. I'm gonna leave

1061. that alone.

1062. Phi Phi O'Hara.

1063. Oh!

1064. Wow.

1065. Serving body in turquoise.

1066. I love the

1067. proportions.

1068. I love all that leg.

1069. Beautiful.

1070. Go on and take the

1071. center stage.

1072. Walking down

1073. the runway, I'm feeling super

1074. sexy and flirty, and I'm just

1075. having a good time out there.

1076. It's a fishy outfit.

1077. I look really pretty and I look

1078. glamorous.

1079. This is the best Phi

1080. Phi has ever looked.

1081. Very "Cosmo," girl.

1082. No photo shop necessary.

1083. Coming up.

1084. Touch this.

1085. Touch all of this.

1086. I'm trying to help.

1087. It looks like a couch from

1088. rent-a-center.

1089. Why the hell would I

1090. write about how to eat a pile of

1091. chicken?

1092. Exactly. That's

1093. funny.

1094. Oh, damn.

1095. Ha ha!

1096. Ha ha!

1097. Hello, dolls.

1098. Let's find out whose dragazines

1099. are fresh and fabulous and whose

1100. are just Condé nasty.

1101. Up first, Chad Michaels.

1102. "Eleganza."

1103. I wanted to take the

1104. theme of "Eleganza", which was

1105. style, and gear it toward drag

1106. cougars and the women who love

1107. them.

1108. I didn't know what type of

1109. magazine it was.

1110. It's just all over the place.

1111. It looks like

1112. something that you would pick up

1113. for free at the grocery store.

1114. You look beautiful tonight.

1115. Love the one-shoulder.

1116. You look great in black.

1117. You guys challenged me

1118. to dirty it up a little bit, and

1119. I feel fantastic.

1120. I love that Chad

1121. thinks this is dirty.

1122. I guess it is for Chad.

1123. All right, up next,

1124. Dida Ritz.

1125. Tastes Like Chicken.

1126. Yeah, that's what

1127. they say.

1128. I wanted to add a

1129. little bit of, you know, glamour

1130. to it, and my inspiration was

1131. really the type of women you'd

1132. see on the Food Network.

1133. I saw "stop."

1134. It kind of is at odds with your

1135. fun look and you fun colors

1136. and then this negative message.

1137. I like black hair

1138. on you.

1139. It looks very pretty.

1140. Just next time think more

1141. volume.

1142. I keep telling you more volume.

1143. It's all about the silhouette.

1144. All right, next up, Sharon

1145. Needles.

1146. "Kitty Cats." Meow.

1147. I wanted to create a

1148. hep-cat magazine for, like,

1149. young hipsters that love cats.

1150. Oh, you nasty bitch

1151. you.

1152. Oh, my god.

1153. I love the headlines.

1154. I just want to read it.

1155. I want to know how many is too

1156. many.

1157. Well, I'm talking about cats.

1158. You're a pervert.

1159. Oh, I know, I know, I

1160. know, but the eyes scare me

1161. and—

1162. They're my trademark.

1163. But everything else

1164. is just so pretty and elegant.

1165. It, like, creeps me out.

1166. I am still waiting to see

1167. full-on glam, no eyes, no goth

1168. Sharon Needles, just once.

1169. I don't think you'll lose you.

1170. Next up, Latrice Royale.

1171. "What's the T?"

1172. If my magazine was

1173. on the newsstand, if you're not

1174. particularly lusting for me,

1175. you're definitely gonna pick it

1176. up for the hot boys that are

1177. lusting after me, so...

1178. I sort of expected your

1179. magazine cover to be like,

1180. "Shh."

1181. It looks like the

1182. name of the magazine

1183. is Hollywood.

1184. It looks more like a club flier.

1185. You don't need the pit crew

1186. boys on there at all.

1187. It really looks like you got it

1188. from a hooker somewhere.

1189. This gown that you

1190. came out in, it's like, ah, it's

1191. so heavy.

1192. It looks like a couch from

1193. rent-a-center.

1194. I think it's a little too

1195. much jewelry.

1196. Oh, lord, Jesus.

1197. "Showgirls."

1198. Oh, oh!

1199. Oh!

1200. My bracelet breaks.

1201. Oh, fuck.

1202. In front of everybody.

1203. But already that

1204. looks better.

1205. It does.

1206. Next up, Willam.

1207. "Sugar Walls."

1208. I love home design,

1209. and I made one of the pillows on

1210. the cover.

1211. A power bottom like that.

1212. I love what you look like

1213. tonight, but in the beard area,

1214. I see the shadow again tonight.

1215. Touch this.

1216. Touch all of this.

1217. I'm trying to help, because

1218. you're the only one that has it,

1219. so it really hits hard when it's

1220. out there.

1221. Your dragazine cover is

1222. possibly the worst one.

1223. I hate the font.

1224. Me, too.

1225. Ok.

1226. This looks like a porn thing

1227. about to happen.

1228. I'm getting anything but

1229. decorating from this.

1230. Yeah, I wouldn't have

1231. hired myself to be that

1232. designer.

1233. I love the ideas that I had.

1234. I wish I had more time to

1235. execute them and a better staff.

1236. In my career I had to do

1237. every single part

1238. of show business, you know,

1239. edit, produce, you name it, and

1240. that's what we're really looking

1241. for.

1242. Next up, Jiggly Caliente.

1243. May I call you Jiggly?

1244. No.

1245. Oh! Ha ha ha!

1246. "Battle of the Bulge."

1247. I found the funny,

1248. and I found the silly humor in

1249. it.

1250. Battle...

1251. Ya ya ya!

1252. I think with "Battle of the

1253. Bulge," you could have really

1254. taken it anywhere.

1255. Yeah, because when we

1256. spoke in the workroom, I was

1257. going on and on about you should

1258. approach it with more humor.

1259. I chose those play with words

1260. instead of the humor 'cause I

1261. don't know anything about

1262. fitness.

1263. What the hell would I write

1264. about how to eat a pound of

1265. chicken?

1266. Exactly, that's funny.

1267. Oh, damn.

1268. Next up, Phi Phi O'Hara.

1269. You got "Sashay Away," the

1270. travel dragazine.

1271. Wow.

1272. Va-va-voom!

1273. This is the best I've ever

1274. seen you look so far.

1275. Yeah. All the proportions are

1276. right.

1277. Cute little outfit.

1278. Your make-up looks lovely.

1279. Thank you.

1280. What happened?

1281. Ha ha!

1282. You look gorgeous on the

1283. cover.

1284. The color makes me want to go

1285. wherever you are.

1286. This looks like an actual

1287. magazine.

1288. You picked all the key words to

1289. highlight.

1290. "Bathhouse, 69, virginity."

1291. I would read this inside and

1292. out.

1293. All right, ladies, while you

1294. enjoy an Absolut cocktail in the

1295. Interior Illusions Lounge, the

1296. judges and I will deliberate.

1297. All right, just between us

1298. girls, what do you think?

1299. Chad Michaels.

1300. The runway really made up for

1301. the look that's on the cover of

1302. "Eleganza" magazine, which is

1303. horrible.

1304. And it's just not modern or hip.

1305. If you're looking

1306. for hip, young, and trendy, you

1307. ain't gonna find it in Chad

1308. Michaels.

1309. Dida Ritz.

1310. I'm just kind of thinking

1311. she's somewhere in the middle

1312. today.

1313. She was cute on the cover.

1314. I never equate fabulous drag

1315. queens and cute.

1316. Right.

1317. I want to be devastated.

1318. She comes out like

1319. a straight line with these big

1320. football player shoulders with

1321. flat hair.

1322. She's a pretty girl, but it

1323. seems like we're getting stuck

1324. here a little bit with Dida.

1325. All right, let's move

1326. on to Sharon Needles.

1327. I really like her sense of

1328. comedy.

1329. There's something really cool

1330. about her.

1331. Yeah, her dragazine, very

1332. funny, tongue in cheek, and it

1333. looks like it reeks of cat piss

1334. in there.

1335. I did like her dragazine.

1336. Do I think it's the best?

1337. Nope.

1338. Latrice Royale.

1339. The dragazine cover was,

1340. like, Sydney Biddle Barrows, you

1341. know?

1342. It was like a madame's calling

1343. card.

1344. Willam and "Sugar

1345. Walls" dragazine.

1346. She totally missed the mark,

1347. and I really feel like this was

1348. probably one of the easiest ones

1349. to do, and there's something

1350. about her on stage that's a bit

1351. robotic.

1352. It's like she stood there with

1353. the same exact smile.

1354. It was kind of creepy.

1355. I kept, like, looking over to

1356. see, all right.

1357. Ok, 20 minutes has passed,

1358. right, and she was still...

1359. Yeah, that don't move.

1360. She's got a major attitude, and

1361. I like that, though.

1362. It's good news, bad news.

1363. Good news, she's a diva.

1364. Bad news, she's a diva.

1365. Jiggly Caliente and

1366. "Battle of the Bulge."

1367. You know, Jiggly

1368. seems to be some sort of

1369. self-sabotager.

1370. Yes.

1371. Maybe she doesn't feel like

1372. she deserves to be here, and if

1373. you don't believe it, nobody

1374. else will.

1375. Moving on to Phi Phi

1376. O'Hara and "Sashay Away"

1377. magazine, this looked like the

1378. most professional magazine of

1379. the whole bunch.

1380. It did, but as we're going

1381. through all of these, I'm

1382. wondering did it look like the

1383. most professional because

1384. everything else was so bad?

1385. Ha ha!

1386. I had a problem

1387. with the fact that she wore a

1388. blond cap with blond hair.

1389. She looked like she had a dead

1390. baby lamb on her head.

1391. And who wants that?

1392. Sharon Needles.

1393. There'd be blood coming out.

1394. Silence. I've made my

1395. decision.

1396. Bring back my girls.

1397. Ha ha!

1398. Ha ha!

1399. Welcome back, ladies.

1400. Based on your dragazines and

1401. your presentations on the main

1402. stage, I've made some decisions.

1403. Phi Phi O'Hara, your travel

1404. dragozine was a real trip, and

1405. we're excited that you keep

1406. taking us to new places.

1407. You are the winner of this

1408. week's challenge.

1409. God, thank god.

1410. You've won a cruise to the

1411. Bahamas courtesy of

1412. ALandCHUCK.travel.

1413. Oh, man!

1414. Ha ha!

1415. Oh, finally!

1416. This is my first win and I'm

1417. really excited because it's nice

1418. to know that my hard work has

1419. paid off.

1420. Those girls better watch out.

1421. Sharon Needles, you are safe.

1422. Dida Ritz...

1423. you're safe.

1424. Thank you.

1425. Chad Michaels.

1426. Yes, ma'am.

1427. This week the judges were not

1428. gagging on your "Eleganza."

1429. You are safe.

1430. Thank you.

1431. Jiggly Caliente, once again,

1432. you left us hungry for more.

1433. I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

1434. up for elimination.

1435. Again?

1436. Seriously?

1437. That's just straight up jack.

1438. Latrice Royale...

1439. you're safe.

1440. Willam, I'm sorry, my dear, but

1441. you are up for elimination.

1442. When Ru tells me

1443. about being in the bottom two, I

1444. feel shaken, and it's a little

1445. scary.

1446. Two queens stand

1447. before me.

1448. Prior to tonight, you were asked

1449. to prepare a lip sync

1450. performance of "Mi Vida Loca"

1451. by Pam Tillis.

1452. Ladies, this is your last chance

1453. to impress me and save yourself

1454. from elimination.

1455. The time has come for you to lip

1456. sync for your life.

1457. I'm gonna fight to the end.

1458. No way I'm gonna let this skinny

1459. Botox bitch send my ass home.

1460. Good luck and don't fuck it

1461. up.

1462. ♪ If you're

1463. coming with me

1464. You need nerves of steel

1465. 'Cause I take corners

1466. on two wheels

1467. It's a never-ending circus ride

1468. The faint of heart

1469. need not apply

1470. Mi vida loca over and over

1471. I mean, I hate to say

1472. it, but I think Willam did good.

1473. She looked very much a young

1474. country pop star.

1475. ♪ Welcome to my

1476. God damn, you

1477. couldn't give me a Lil' Kim

1478. song?

1479. ♪ Here

1480. I really, really

1481. wished I had panties on,

1482. but I didn't think

1483. I'd have to lip sync.

1484. ♪ Mi vida loca

1485. Jiggly is pretty

1486. much standing in one spot.

1487. Not good.

1488. ♪ Over and over

1489. Ladies, I've made my

1490. decision.

1491. Willam, shanté, you stay.

1492. Thank you.

1493. Thank you, and I'll always try

1494. to do my best.

1495. If I fall short, I'm sorry.

1496. Jiggly Caliente, may I call

1497. you Jiggly?

1498. Yes.

1499. Good, because after your time

1500. here, you will be on a

1501. first-name basis with millions

1502. of fans.

1503. Now, sashay away.

1504. Thank you so much.

1505. I love you.

1506. Do this.

1507. I'm disappointed, but

1508. I know my mom would be so proud

1509. of me.

1510. I fucking fought my way, and it

1511. just didn't happen, but life

1512. goes on.

1513. It's all good.

1514. My sensational six, the race

1515. to become America's next drag

1516. superstar is still wide open.

1517. Now remember, if you can't love

1518. yourself, how in the hell you

1519. gonna love somebody else?

1520. Can I get an amen up in here?

1521. Amen!

1522. All right, now let the music

1523. play.

1524. This is the beginning

1525. The beginning

1526. This is the beginning