RuPaul's Drag Race 4x10

1. Previously,

2. on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

3. It's time to make some herstory.

4. How you doin'?

5. Yeeha!

6. Change for the Ritz.

7. Everyone needs "Peace with

8. Latrice."

9. I am of the people

10. and for the people.

11. I'm Sharon Needles

12. for "Sharing Responsibilities."

13. Condragulations, you are

14. the winner of this challenge.

15. Latrice Royale.

16. Shantay, you stay.

17. Dida Ritz.

18. Sashay away.

19. Thank you.

20. Once again, I've been

21. criticized for sending some

22. of my queens home too soon.

23. Michelle, I want you to confer

24. with Santino to decide which one

25. of the eliminated queens...

26. deserves to return.

27. No. Bitch. Top four.

28. No mo' hos.

29. And tonight,

30. the dolls meet their mamas.

31. Whoa.

32. Man!

33. And it ain't pretty.

34. You okay?

35. With extra-special guest

36. judges Jesse Tyler Ferguson

37. and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

38. [hooting, applauding]

39. The winner of

40. RuPaul's Drag Race will

41. receive...

42. a lifetime supply of NYX

43. cosmetics, a one-of-a-kind trip

44. courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,

45. headline Logo's Drag Race Tour

46. featuring Absolut Vodka,

47. cocktails perfected,

48. and a cash prize of $100,000.

49. And may the best woman win.

50. God.

51. What?

52. Don't "what" me.

53. Cluck, cluck, top four.

54. What does it say?

55. Stay true.

56. Chad, Needles, Latrice.

57. Dida's gone, but she left

58. a little piece of herself

59. for us to remember her.

60. Cheesecake!

61. Well, Miss Dida, she was

62. fierce!

63. She was fierce.

64. Okay, so let's say this right

65. now so it's really official.

66. We are...

67. the top four!

68. Some shit's gonna go down.

69. No!

70. There will be a departed

71. queen returning to

72. the competition this morning.

73. Who do you think it's gonna be?

74. Bringing anyone back isn't

75. fair, in my opinion.

76. We should make up some shirts

77. or some shit.

78. Shirts or like signs or—

79. Signs and shirts.

80. Top Four, Add No More.

81. Let's do this, honey.

82. Let's get it all going.

83. This sucks and we're protesting.

84. Top Four, Add No More.

85. Oh, let's go.

86. Ooh, girl, you've got

87. SheMail.

88. Ladies, this competition

89. is still pregnant with

90. possibilities, and soon a star

91. will be born, but will it be

92. a labor of love or a bastard

93. of disaster?

94. Time to push, ladies, push!

95. 'Cause I'm about to crown...

96. America's Next Drag

97. Superstar.

98. I hope it's a queen.

99. Hello, hello, hello.

100. Top Four, Add No More!

101. Top Four, Add No More!

102. Top Four, Add No More!

103. Woo!

104. Nice try, Norma Rae.

105. But this week, we are

106. celebrating the modern drag

107. family starting with the return

108. of one of your soul sisters.

109. Ladies, please welcome back...

110. Oh, the suspense is killing me.

111. Kenya Michaels is back.

112. Hey!

113. She's a force

114. to be reckoned with.

115. She can dance, and she's pretty,

116. and that's exactly what we don't

117. need right now.

118. Welcome home, mama.

119. Yeah, I'm ready.

120. I'm back in the building.

121. I'm ready to compete.

122. Now let's prepare, ladies.

123. Oh, pit crew.

124. For today's mini-challenge,

125. you need to get crafty

126. and turn these papa bears

127. into mama bears.

128. You'll have 20 minutes to drag

129. out your teddy bear.

130. The one queen with the most

131. un-bear-ably beautiful critter

132. will win.

133. Ready, set, growl.

134. Woo-hoo.

135. Better make your spook bear,

136. bitch.

137. Boo! City.

138. Sorry, Kenya, we've lost

139. our fucking minds.

140. Look what you left me with.

141. Now I'm not the youngest or

142. the shortest or the fishiest.

143. And you never will be,

144. Blanche, and you never were.

145. Okay, ladies, time's up.

146. Let's take a look at your

147. lady bears.

148. RuPaul, meet Malibu Bearbie.

149. She's very Jiggly Caliente.

150. Yes.

151. May I call you Jiggly?

152. Next up, Sharon Needles.

153. The Bride of Chuckie wore black.

154. She's part of the Scare Bear

155. Collection.

156. I Let her borrow my contacts.

157. So, who do we

158. have here?

159. We have La Transbear.

160. Are those pasties

161. on that bear?

162. Yes, they're pasties,

163. yeah, they're sexy.

164. She is a fishy bear

165. and bears love fish.

166. This is Portia The Pooh.

167. I see that her face

168. is bejeweled.

169. Like mother, like daughter.

170. This is Princess Bitch Bear.

171. She comes complete with a set

172. of accessories.

173. Booger Bear.

174. Those are all jealous bears

175. over there.

176. Ladies, one bear is creating

177. a creating a panda-monium.

178. The winner of today's

179. mini-challenge is...

180. Lil' Kenya Michaels.

181. Yes, I win.

182. La Transbear.

183. But, ladies, you can all be

184. proud of your work because all

185. of your dragged out bears will

186. be auctioned off by the Bear to

187. Make a Difference Project...

188. Yay.

189. Oh.

190. which supports

191. The Matthew Shepard Foundation's

192. efforts to erase hate.

193. Can I get an "Amen" in here?

194. Amen.

195. Ladies, when I was growing up,

196. a man went to work and left his

197. wife at home to raise

198. the children.

199. But, in today's modern family,

200. we expect a lot more from our

201. father figures.

202. Now, to prove my point, I want

203. you to meet some DILTF,

204. or Dads I'd Like To Frock.

205. Whoa, truck-drivin', burly

206. men like for real, for real.

207. Ladies, for today's main

208. challenge, you need to transform

209. these handsome daddies

210. into sexy drag queen mamas.

211. All right, dads, please

212. introduce yourselves.

213. I'm Leland, the father of 6.

214. Six?

215. Yes.

216. Damn, Leland.

217. Hi, I'm Rick and I have

218. a beautiful daughter,

219. she's 6 years old,

220. and a beautiful son.

221. He's 4 years old.

222. My name is James.

223. I have a beautiful 2-year-old

224. daughter.

225. My name's Chris.

226. I'm a proud father of two

227. beautiful girls.

228. My name is Mike and I have

229. 6 children and 5 grandchildren.

230. Wow, so you're

231. a grandfather I'd like to frock.

232. I am.

233. All right, Lil' Kenya,

234. since you won the

235. mini-challenge, you get to

236. pick a daddy for each of

237. the other girls.

238. You go with Chad Michaels.

239. I'm looking at Kenya and I'm

240. kinda doing like the eye thing

241. so that way she knows like

242. to send the guy this way or

243. this way.

244. Where are you gonna go?

245. When she comes to pick out

246. my guy, I just give her like

247. a little nod so that way

248. she just comes and gives

249. me my guy.

250. With Phi Phi.

251. Um...

252. You're gonna be with Spooky.

253. Okay.

254. Hi, Sharon Needles.

255. The guy that I have been

256. given has the brickest face

257. in the bunch.

258. He's too manly to be pretty.

259. How are ya?

260. Leland is with Latrice.

261. So, Lil' Kenya, who's your

262. daddy?

263. This is my daddy.

264. My guy is the most beautiful

265. woman because he's gonna look

266. like Jessica Wild or something.

267. Now, you can use your own

268. drag plus extra materials and

269. hair courtesy of Risque Wigs.

270. Now I'm expecting to see a

271. strong family resemblance and

272. tomorrow, on the main stage,

273. to keep things in a family way,

274. you and your daddy mama will be

275. carrying a bun in the oven.

276. That's right.

277. The category is...

278. Baby Bump Realness.

279. It's one thing to put these

280. dads in drag, but now it's gotta

281. be maternity clothes.

282. She's gonna be pregnant.

283. Ugh.

284. Okay, little mamas,

285. your charisma, uniqueness,

286. nerve and talent got you into

287. this situation.

288. Now you need to use it to turn

289. it out.

290. Gentlemen, start your engines

291. and may the best "mutha" win.

292. All right, come on.

293. How do you call it, rhi—

294. what do you call 'em?

295. These are sequins.

296. Sequins.

297. I didn't even know they made

298. stuff like this.

299. Is that your cell phone

300. in your pants or are you

301. just happy to see me?

302. No.

303. Okay, they didn't tell me

304. I was in the movie "Anaconda".

305. What's goin' on here?

306. Oh, my god, this one's

307. a freak.

308. Michael the psycho is so weird.

309. Oh, baby.

310. It makes me wanna run

311. and take a shower immediately.

312. Are you single?

313. Not today.

314. Sharon's DILTF looks

315. freakin' insane.

316. He's like the "Silence of

317. the Lambs" killer.

318. Coming up...

319. Ah, fuck, this fucking

320. shit hurts.

321. Walk in the fucking heels

322. and shut up.

323. You've been criticized for

324. proportion.

325. I'll be fine.

326. I get worried when you do

327. that, oh, it's gonna be fine,

328. because there have been times

329. when you've done that

330. and it didn't work.

331. I'm gonna get you pregnant.

332. Why do we have to be

333. pregnant?

334. Today we have to turn filth

335. into MILTFs, pregnant,

336. glamorous MILTFs.

337. Man!

338. You have to get rid of

339. your manhood.

340. But that will hurt.

341. No, it doesn't hurt.

342. If you push 'em up

343. inside you?

344. That's where they go.

345. Oooh.

346. It's either that or you

347. can sit on 'em and that's not

348. exactly—

349. Sit on 'em? Oh, shit, no!

350. You tape it to your leg

351. or something like that?

352. I'm gonna be servin'

353. moose knuckles.

354. They wanna see like

355. the transformation, like

356. the difference, and you look

357. like a dude.

358. I'm a pretty manly man.

359. I get paired up with Chris.

360. I'm super excited because

361. he's really getting into this.

362. I'm down to go all the way.

363. I wanna win this shit.

364. It's kinda fun teaching

365. a straight guy how to be me.

366. How're you doing?

367. Pretty good, you?

368. Good.

369. Don't talk to my dad.

370. I can talk to your dad

371. if I want, all right?

372. Maybe your dad likes me better.

373. He wants to be on the winning

374. team, so I doubt it.

375. Yeah, 'cause we're gonna win.

376. You like that?

377. He even talks like Phi Phi.

378. I think Chris is just like me.

379. That's what I like 'cause that

380. way I can school these hos.

381. Phi Phi loves to come for

382. me and she can come for me all

383. she wants.

384. Come for me, baby.

385. However, I have to stay focused.

386. What I'm producing has to be

387. perfect.

388. No, that's way too bright.

389. I don't like fact that it's

390. so long 'cause I'm thinkin'

391. like right about here.

392. Show some tits.

393. He could chill out just

394. a little bit because I do know

395. what I'm doing and I don't need

396. too much direction.

397. Something like

398. a four-inch bam!

399. Walk. Come on, walk.

400. Okay, don't bounce.

401. Don't do that.

402. No, don't do that.

403. Okay, come on, walk, walk.

404. How you feel?

405. Like it, it, it's just...

406. Is that how they usually feel,

407. like hurting here?

408. Yeah, all the time.

409. All the time?

410. Yeah, all the time.

411. My toes are like this

412. right now.

413. Yeah, I know because you

414. have man feet.

415. Aw, fuck, this fucking

416. shit hurts.

417. Walk in the fucking heels

418. and shut up!

419. Hello, hello, hello?

420. Hey, Ru.

421. Oh, Ru.

422. Well, hello, Phi Phi

423. and Chris.

424. Apparently, you're making your

425. outfits?

426. We wanna be like sexy moms.

427. We're gonna have like fun,

428. flirty little pregnant dresses.

429. You've been criticized for

430. proportion.

431. I'll be fine. It'll work.

432. I get worried when you do

433. that, oh, it's gonna be fine.

434. I know you do.

435. It'll work. It'll work.

436. It'll be fine.

437. Remember, there have been times

438. when you've done that

439. and it didn't work.

440. Now do you think you have enough

441. time to finish sewing these

442. outfits?

443. Yeah, it's not gonna

444. take long.

445. There's that thing again.

446. It'll be fine.

447. No, it's gonna be good.

448. Get to sewing.

449. All righty. Thank you, Ru.

450. Hi, Leland. Hi, Latrice.

451. Hello, Ru.

452. Will you be wearing

453. matching gowns?

454. Um, well...

455. We're looking for a family

456. resemblance.

457. Absolutely, but...

458. it's gonna work out, I think.

459. So, Leland, what are you most

460. nervous about?

461. Walkin' in them shoes.

462. Really?

463. Oh, yeah.

464. Do you play sports at all?

465. I used to.

466. Yeah, well, because honestly

467. it has to do with your center of

468. gravity and knowing your body

469. and your hand-eye coordination.

470. Still, I ain't got no

471. coordination for basketball,

472. dribblin' and, no, no.

473. Hm.

474. All right, Royale sisters,

475. you have a lot of work to do.

476. I'm gonna leave you to it.

477. Thank you, Ru.

478. All right.

479. Hey, Rick.

480. Hi!

481. Hey, Lil' Kenya.

482. You look like Elvis.

483. Do people tell you that?

484. My mom told me I look like

485. a young Elvis, yeah.

486. Now you're gonna look like

487. Lisa Marie Presley.

488. Have you picked a drag name

489. for Rick?

490. She's gonna be my Lil' Mama.

491. Lil' Mama.

492. Because I'm Lil' Kenya.

493. How do you feel about that,

494. Lil' Mama?

495. Uh, I don't feel like

496. a little mama.

497. Well, listen, you've got

498. a lot of work to do.

499. Let them have it.

500. Bye.

501. Hey, Chad.

502. Hey, RuPaul.

503. Wow, look at this.

504. Isn't that fun?

505. Yeah, it was both our ideas.

506. We're both very technical people

507. when we started out.

508. Is it off, is it going this,

509. doing that, you know, and—

510. He's taking a very active

511. role in this and he's very

512. assertive.

513. Now you've been doing this

514. for a long time.

515. Can you look at James' face

516. and tell what he's gonna look

517. like just based on bone

518. structure?

519. > Yeah, he's gonna be pretty.

520. Really?

521. We'll see.

522. I'm gonna let you get back

523. to it, okay?

524. Thank you.

525. Mike and Sharon Needles.

526. Hello.

527. How are you two kids gettin'

528. along?

529. Mike, you're getting into it

530. early, aren't ya?

531. Oh.

532. I'm embarrassed by Mike because

533. he seems to have no filter.

534. Why'd you decide to do this?

535. 'Cause I wanna bring out my

536. inner diva.

537. The only problem I have with

538. this outfit—

539. What is—

540. —is I think I'm havin'

541. a baby elephant.

542. You wanna see his trunk?

543. Now you kids have your work

544. cut out for you.

545. I'm gonna let you get back

546. to it.

547. Good luck taming Mike, okay?

548. Thank you so much, Ru.

549. Gather around, ladies

550. and gentlemen.

551. Tomorrow night, we'll be joined

552. by our extra-special guest

553. judges, one of TV's favorite

554. dads, "Modern Family"'s

555. Jesse Tyler Ferguson...

556. Yeah.

557. He's cute as a button.

558. and the always lovely

559. Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt.

560. But before you have a baby,

561. there should be a little

562. seduction.

563. So, tomorrow, prior to your

564. baby bump runway presentation,

565. each couple needs to get us in

566. the mood...

567. with a sexy striptease.

568. What?

569. Insane.

570. And, in the words of my

571. sainted mother, goddamn it,

572. you pussymouth motherfucker...

573. Don't fuck it up.

574. Coming up...

575. Like a girl, like, hey.

576. Yeah!

577. A little bit too much

578. testosterone running around

579. here, sunshine.

580. You're not gonna fuckin'

581. come up in my motherfuckin'

582. workroom and talk to me

583. like this, "occifer."

584. I'm panicking.

585. Welcome to the runway.

586. Awesome.

587. It's time for me and James

588. to do our striptease

589. and I'm a little apprehensive.

590. I just have to figure out how

591. to make it sexy because this

592. is supposed to be like

593. a strip "tease".

594. That's not turning me on

595. yet, dude.

596. I figure, with James, since

597. he doesn't have a lot of

598. experience, to keep it simple.

599. Walk out, looking at each

600. other, and let's hit.

601. So, your arm's gonna go up on

602. your... your right arm.

603. And you know how I like to be

604. perfect, darling.

605. Boom and then throw it.

606. You've never stripped before,

607. I'm sure.

608. No.

609. You've been to a strip joint,

610. though.

611. Lap dance? Tipping? Poles?

612. Yeah.

613. All of it. All right.

614. Hold right and then boom.

615. Perfect.

616. Real sexy, hands on hips.

617. Right to the "X" right here.

618. Pose. Perfect.

619. Just work your sexiness.

620. Like this, look. Oh!

621. Okay.

622. Perfect. Just up.

623. Perfect.

624. Gimme five, brother.

625. Got it. Man.

626. You're gonna win.

627. I hope so.

628. So, cross, out, cross, out.

629. I didn't even cross.

630. I feel like I'm walkin'

631. off the stage.

632. One, two, three, four,

633. five, six.

634. Aw, fuck.

635. That's right, I've gotta get

636. used to this thing.

637. It's kinda difficult to

638. transform like a big old macho

639. straight guy into like a real

640. feminine woman.

641. Five, six, grab it,

642. seven, eight.

643. Five, six...

644. all right.

645. Now that's clearly a dude.

646. I feel like I'm doin'

647. the Hulkamaniac.

648. Oh.

649. Do you know what "fishy" means?

650. Like a girl, like, hey.

651. Yeah!

652. Kiss, boom.

653. Boom.

654. No, you said boom after me.

655. That means you're not timing

656. with me.

657. Ah, back?

658. I know I shoulda saved my brain

659. cells when I was a kid.

660. That's no excuse.

661. Turning.

662. Now what?

663. I'm fuckin' brain dead, dude.

664. I want to kill him because

665. I have created the most

666. simplest, cheapest routine

667. that Helen Keller could do on

668. the first try.

669. Can you skip?

670. Nope.

671. I'm panicking.

672. I suck.

673. It is what it is.

674. Don't say, it is what it is

675. because it's my 100,000

676. fucking dollars.

677. I need to make sure that he's

678. giving 100%.

679. But I don't think I'm going

680. to get it.

681. You okay?

682. There, it's comin' alive now.

683. There she go.

684. You know who you look like now?

685. Rick James.

686. And you're trying to make me

687. look like Teena Marie, though.

688. What if, uh, one of your

689. daughters grew up to be gay?

690. What would you tell them?

691. I wouldn't care.

692. You wouldn't care at all?

693. Naw, even if I had a son—

694. That's good.

695. It is what it is.

696. But that's good that

697. you wouldn't shun your kids

698. or anything.

699. My dad, he didn't like it

700. at all.

701. That sucks.

702. I haven't talked to him

703. since I was like 18.

704. One day, he'll realize

705. what he's not being part of.

706. It's really cool to talk to

707. someone that, you know, they're

708. straight, but they see how my

709. lifestyle is, and it's okay to

710. be who I am.

711. If you had a son, would you

712. have him audition for "RuPaul's

713. Drag Race"?

714. Nah, 'cause he'd probably

715. do a better job than I do.

716. Do you have a boyfriend?

717. I do, yeah.

718. How long?

719. Eight years and I was here

720. during our anniversary.

721. On our eighth year

722. anniversary, we renewed

723. our vows.

724. Well, we might renew our vows

725. if we can ever get married.

726. Why call it a marriage,

727. if you're gonna offend so many

728. people?

729. It's making everybody equal.

730. Say I've been together

731. with somebody for 40 years.

732. Say I get sick.

733. I go into the hospital.

734. They can't come visit me because

735. they're not related to me in

736. any way.

737. So, that's what we're

738. fighting for.

739. That's what you're standing

740. up and saying.

741. That would kill me to know

742. if I was sick laying in a bed

743. somewhere

744. that Adam couldn't come see me.

745. That's okay. Come on.

746. No, it's cool. I just—

747. I know.

748. It just comes up, you know.

749. Yeah, it's cool.

750. Just to know that, god,

751. he would be locked out,

752. and he would be left with

753. nothing.

754. I don't believe that's fair

755. at all.

756. I support you guys.

757. Everybody should have the right

758. to love who they want to love,

759. you know.

760. You expect me to walk up on

761. this thing in these?

762. Yeah.

763. Put on them shoes, boo-boo.

764. Ugh, I can't even walk on it

765. barefoot.

766. Ooh.

767. Whew.

768. Okay.

769. Tell me you got some rhythm.

770. I got some rhythm,

771. but I don't know if I've got

772. any sexiness.

773. Oh!

774. I need sexy swagger.

775. I need hips and ass, and he

776. don't have none of that goin'.

777. Whoa.

778. Are you okay with your shoes?

779. Yeah.

780. Do I need 'em right now?

781. You have to practice.

782. Fuck.

783. Come on.

784. One... and two.

785. The chair.

786. The legs.

787. Ha. Ha. Ha.

788. I do the splits.

789. He needs to be sexy.

790. Come on, one more time.

791. Five, six, seven...

792. oh, okay.

793. Rick is a hot guy,

794. but not a dancer.

795. That's it?

796. Oh, my god.

797. One, two, three, four.

798. It's the end of the day

799. and I'm panicking because

800. we have a short window of time

801. to get something so simple done.

802. Since you're strong,

803. what if I turned around

804. and you caught me?

805. Yeah, let's make it more

806. difficult.

807. Yeah.

808. Ladies, can you vacate our

809. runway, please?

810. Vacate our runway.

811. Get the fuck off our runway.

812. We're better off than them.

813. Don't make up excuses why

814. you guys are inferior to us.

815. Well, their dance techniques

816. are bitchin'.

817. Not really.

818. A little bit too much

819. testosterone runnin' around

820. here, sunshine.

821. Why are you giving such

822. a bad attitude right now?

823. 'Cause I've got my diva bitch

824. attitude and we're gonna win it.

825. Okay, I get it.

826. You guys need to just

827. stay home.

828. Your diva bitch attitude.

829. Bitch, stay home.

830. Bitch, I didn't come here

831. to stay home, "occifer."

832. I hope it isn't your last day

833. here tomorrow.

834. But you know what?

835. What?

836. You're not gonna fuckin' come

837. up in my motherfuckin' workroom

838. and talk to me like this, sir.

839. I just did, didn't I.

840. Well, you know what, maybe

841. you need to be fuckin' removed

842. with your badass motherfuckin'

843. attitude.

844. Fuck that shit.

845. Sharon?

846. Are you gonna let this bitch

847. talk to me like this?

848. Oh, I'm a bitch now.

849. Do not call my sister

850. a bitch.

851. I'm working with a DILTK,

852. a Dad I'd Like To Kill.

853. Coming up...

854. I have such a girl-crush

855. on both of you.

856. I'm getting like an

857. Al Pachino in drag and not in

858. a good way.

859. It was the most somber walk

860. I've ever seen.

861. That poor baby.

862. Cluck, cluck, ladies.

863. Good morning, everybody.

864. Y'all are gonna be women.

865. We're back in the workroom

866. today and I have to get myself

867. in drag, my dad in drag,

868. and we have to get ready for

869. the runway.

870. I stirred up the shit

871. yesterday and I wanted to give

872. them something to think about,

873. a little drag queen drama.

874. Inescapable.

875. Let me ask you a question.

876. Were you ever bullied in school?

877. Oh, my god, are you

878. kidding me?

879. It was terrible.

880. You know, they'd wait for

881. me after school and like

882. beat me up.

883. Was this anything you could

884. report to the police?

885. I never wanted to report

886. it because I was embarrassed.

887. Well, I'm sorry.

888. That's gotta be so frickin'

889. hard, man.

890. You know, I'm learning a lot

891. about the world.

892. As much as I rag on Mike,

893. he certainly was sympathetic

894. to the fact that I went through

895. a lot of hell growing up.

896. He still doesn't know how

897. to fuckin' dance.

898. Dude, it's already squashed.

899. Yeah, yeah.

900. I need to put tape.

901. Let me see this.

902. No, I'm not taping my dick.

903. Just tuck it back.

904. It don't feel that bad.

905. It's okay.

906. I remember a friend in high

907. school tucking, after he saw

908. "Silence of the Lambs." Oh.

909. Oh.

910. Let me see.

911. Rick can tuck himself.

912. I have to...

913. What about the balls?

914. You can take your

915. dick from the back and pull up.

916. Like that?

917. No, more.

918. It's gonna look like

919. a tail.

920. Put it on the side

921. of the balls?

922. It's from the back.

923. I think the balls

924. are too big.

925. I'm sorry.

926. I'm really glad I didn't

927. have to kick your ass yesterday.

928. It was all in a good time,

929. you know?

930. I just... I may have pushed

931. the envelope a little too far,

932. but I was totally joking.

933. It's all right.

934. I needed to blow some steam

935. off, anyway.

936. Well, it's good.

937. You can use me for that.

938. I have a really good poker face.

939. I was crackin' up inside.

940. I'm sure you were.

941. Ain't no fun if there

942. ain't no drama.

943. That's the way I look at it.

944. Hey, guys.

945. Hey, gorgeous.

946. Hey, Ru.

947. Welcome to the main stage

948. of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

949. Michelle Visage.

950. Hi, mommy.

951. How are you, baby?

952. We match tonight.

953. And we're all eatin'

954. at Red Lobster.

955. Mmm-mmm!

956. Santino Rice.

957. Great to be here, Ru.

958. And look who the stork

959. brought.

960. It's Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

961. Hi, Ru.

962. Are you ready to meet

963. my modern family?

964. Bring 'em on, all of 'em.

965. Jennifer Love Hewitt,

966. welcome to our blessed event.

967. Thank you for having me.

968. Hi.

969. Will you be our Drag

970. Whisperer?

971. Yes.

972. This week, the queens

973. were challenged to transform

974. real-life daddies into

975. sexy drag mamas.

976. They'll perform a seductive

977. striptease before they rockabye

978. the runway wearing

979. their best baby bump eleganza.

980. Gentlemen, start your engines

981. and may the best woman win.

982. Woo-hoo!

983. Oh, yeah.

984. Rick's doing

985. the choreography.

986. Rick knows the choreography.

987. But Rick's not sexy.

988. It's like dancing with

989. Leslie Nielsen in "Airplane."

990. That's what I thought

991. he looked like.

992. Leland's missing a couple

993. of cues, but I'm not worried

994. about it.

995. We're workin' it out the best

996. way we can.

997. Oh, yeah.

998. It's top five,

999. so the judges are gonna look

1000. for anything to put us in

1001. the bottom, so I hope that

1002. our routine was good enough

1003. to get us by.

1004. Oh, yeah!

1005. Let the baby bump parade begin.

1006. Sharelle and Latrice Royale.

1007. The water has

1008. broken, honey.

1009. Oh, lord.

1010. You'd better get

1011. lamaze over here.

1012. Nine months later.

1013. If you're part of

1014. the Royale family, you're

1015. definitely gonna be a glamour

1016. girl, so Leland's looking very

1017. elegant and very lady.

1018. She's looking gorgeous.

1019. She didn't know she

1020. was pregnant.

1021. Gi Gi and Phi Phi O'Hara.

1022. Ladies, the auditions for

1023. "16 and Pregnant" are down

1024. the hall.

1025. Chris and I are

1026. basically just trying to serve

1027. sexy, pregnant MILTF thrillness.

1028. I kinda feel like he was a drag

1029. queen in like a past life

1030. because he's doing this too

1031. good.

1032. It's a boy.

1033. It's a girl.

1034. It's both.

1035. Best friends and pregnant.

1036. Lil' Mama

1037. and Lil' Kenya Michaels.

1038. Being pregnant is hard.

1039. Macabre, too, apparently.

1040. Yeah.

1041. We're in this together, mom.

1042. I know that Rick is

1043. gonna be a man and I think,

1044. okay, if Rick is gonna be a man,

1045. he's gonna be a beautiful man.

1046. Kloe and Kourtney

1047. Kardashian.

1048. It is.

1049. Next up, Robin

1050. Mansions and Sharon Needles.

1051. Honey, they're having

1052. Rosemary's baby.

1053. My other eye is my good

1054. judgment eye.

1055. Me and Robin are servin' up

1056. filthy ass bad girls.

1057. Who slept with Robin?

1058. Who got her pregnant?

1059. Is this morning sickness or

1060. is she gagging on her beauty?

1061. Apparently, Marilyn Manson

1062. does have a uterus.

1063. Lady Samantha

1064. and Chad Michaels.

1065. Now that is an immaculate

1066. misconception.

1067. Paris Hilton,

1068. meet your future.

1069. We are serving

1070. carnivale, pregnancy realness.

1071. We are so happy to be pregnant

1072. and we're glowing with

1073. anticipation.

1074. There's a couple of

1075. baby boomers.

1076. It's a very long child.

1077. It is a tall one.

1078. My cervix is softening just

1079. watching.

1080. Is it? Mwa!

1081. Coming up...

1082. I wasn't a huge fan of

1083. the striptease.

1084. I'm not seeing the family

1085. resemblance.

1086. It's more like two friends in

1087. a Tyler Perry movie.

1088. Welcome, ladies.

1089. First up, Chad Michaels

1090. and Lady Samantha.

1091. How are you?

1092. Hi, judges.

1093. Let's take a look at

1094. Lady Samantha's before picture.

1095. That's James.

1096. And, baby, look at you now.

1097. Did you tuck?

1098. A little bit, yes.

1099. Ah.

1100. How do you tuck just

1101. a little bit?

1102. Yeah, I just pushed things

1103. around.

1104. Like just between your cheek

1105. and gums?

1106. Yes, sir.

1107. He doesn't have vamp,

1108. but he has bam.

1109. I have to say, James,

1110. Lady Samantha, if you're nasty,

1111. I think you're wearing the

1112. highest heels on the catwalk

1113. here which I think should not

1114. go unrecognized.

1115. Very impressive.

1116. Thank you.

1117. James, I love that you were

1118. almost like put out with how

1119. hot you were.

1120. I thought that was really great.

1121. I'd like to adopt that quality.

1122. So, James, would you

1123. schtup you?

1124. Oh, yeah.

1125. Next up, Sharon Needles

1126. and Robin Mansions.

1127. That's Mike.

1128. And now look at you.

1129. What's your favorite part of

1130. the drag getup?

1131. He seemed to be very occupied

1132. by my breastplate.

1133. Oh?

1134. I liked it.

1135. Is Mike wearing it now?

1136. Uh, no—

1137. I just swallowed half of it.

1138. I'm getting like an

1139. Al Pachino in drag thing

1140. and not in a good way.

1141. Robin Mansion's face repels

1142. beauty and I love that.

1143. Nothing makes a woman feel

1144. pretty than sittin' next to

1145. this one over here.

1146. Well, that's why I hang out

1147. with Michelle Visage.

1148. All right, next up,

1149. Phi Phi O'Hara and Gi Gi.

1150. Wow, that's Chris.

1151. Now you are Gi Gi.

1152. You're gorgeous.

1153. Thank you.

1154. What was the hardest part

1155. of the striptease?

1156. Being fully tucked

1157. and walking in high heels.

1158. So you were fully tucked.

1159. I had the elephant all the

1160. way back towards the water hole.

1161. Oh, really?

1162. I like seeing the

1163. resemblance.

1164. You look like you share DNA.

1165. You look fantastic, I mean,

1166. a great job there.

1167. I have such a girl-crush

1168. on both of you.

1169. What was the most difficult

1170. part of working with your

1171. daddy mama?

1172. We really worked well

1173. together.

1174. He was like an inspiration for

1175. what everybody should be.

1176. He's an open-minded heterosexual

1177. male that just values people for

1178. who they are, doesn't judge

1179. a book by its cover.

1180. My dad's not like that.

1181. If I could have a dad like him,

1182. then my life would probably be

1183. a lot easier and, you know,

1184. I wish I had that bond, so...

1185. It's nice to have a friend

1186. like this.

1187. It'll happen one day.

1188. Do you think your father

1189. will watch this show?

1190. Probably not and that's okay.

1191. I'm fine with that.

1192. I just, uh, I hope he values...

1193. like who I am.

1194. If I can get anything from this,

1195. I'm just happy he was here to

1196. see that I'm a good person.

1197. That felt so good.

1198. Thank you.

1199. Thanks, kids.

1200. Thank you.

1201. Next up, Latrice Royale

1202. and Sharelle Royale.

1203. That's Leland.

1204. Girl, you've come a long way.

1205. Sharelle is a ho.

1206. She can't even get enough

1207. of herself in the mirror.

1208. Really?

1209. Trust.

1210. Look at that.

1211. Do you see this?

1212. Yes.

1213. That's gorgeousness.

1214. That's gorgeousness.

1215. But the family resemblance,

1216. though, it ain't up in there.

1217. You don't see that?

1218. Well, I don't know.

1219. I'm different.

1220. Okay.

1221. See, there it is.

1222. Now what? See?

1223. I will follow suit and say

1224. that I'm not seeing the family

1225. resemblance.

1226. Sort of more like you're just

1227. two friends in a Tyler Perry

1228. movie.

1229. Next up, Lil' Kenya Michaels

1230. and Lil' Mama Michaels.

1231. That's Rick.

1232. Wow.

1233. And this is

1234. Lil' Mama Michaels.

1235. Rick, I feel like you

1236. and I could be related.

1237. I think we'd look a little bit

1238. alike if I straightened my hair.

1239. And I'm diggin' it.

1240. I don't love the dresses

1241. that I'm seeing here.

1242. I think they could have used

1243. a little more flash.

1244. I would have liked to have seen

1245. a little more sparkle.

1246. Lil' Mama, was this

1247. an unwanted pregnancy?

1248. Uh, yeah.

1249. Because it was the most

1250. somber, macabre, friggin' death

1251. walk I've ever seen.

1252. I was like, oh, this poor baby.

1253. I'm ready to have this baby.

1254. Oh, really?

1255. Yeah.

1256. I have like four underwears

1257. right now and like two

1258. pantyhose.

1259. Even these shoes,

1260. they don't even fit me.

1261. They're glued to my feet

1262. right now.

1263. Literally glued to your feet.

1264. They're glued to my feet

1265. so I can't shake them...

1266. They're glued and they can't

1267. come off.

1268. Thank you, ladies.

1269. I think we've heard enough.

1270. Now while you untuck in

1271. the Interior Illusions Lounge,

1272. the judges and I will

1273. deliberate.

1274. All right, kids, just between

1275. us "goils".

1276. Let's start with Chad Michaels

1277. and Lady Samantha.

1278. I loved the striptease,

1279. I loved the walk.

1280. The runway presentation was

1281. very basic, nothing sexy about

1282. it at all.

1283. Because Chad doesn't take risks,

1284. it brings Chad down.

1285. Well, I was enamored

1286. with him.

1287. I thought she did a remarkable

1288. job with Lady Samantha.

1289. Sharon Needles

1290. with Robin Mansions.

1291. I love Sharon Needles.

1292. I love her energy, I love her

1293. humor, I love her look.

1294. However, I really thought

1295. Robin Mansions was a dawg of

1296. a lady onstage.

1297. I just feel like she left

1298. her sister out to tank.

1299. Phi Phi O'Hara

1300. and her sister Gi Gi.

1301. Phi Phi is absolutely

1302. adorable.

1303. I heart Phi Phi O'Hara.

1304. Loved the shoes, loved the bag,

1305. love everything—love it.

1306. There was really an uncanny

1307. resemblance.

1308. Yeah.

1309. Latrice Royale

1310. and Sharelle.

1311. Oh, the Royale sisters.

1312. We're sisters, but we look

1313. nothing alike.

1314. I just felt like they had

1315. a different baby daddy.

1316. I wasn't a huge fan of

1317. the striptease.

1318. For me, a little lackluster.

1319. Lil' Kenya Michaels

1320. and Lil' Mama Michaels.

1321. I thought little Eva Longoria

1322. was just adorable.

1323. So much charisma and I can

1324. probably see why you'd want

1325. to bring her back.

1326. Their pregnancy dresses,

1327. the fur coming out at the top,

1328. the sweater set and the marabou

1329. trim, it was all a little bit

1330. wrong.

1331. Kenya Michaels is a fierce

1332. queen.

1333. It's unfortunate that she's just

1334. off her game.

1335. Silence!

1336. Now, bring back my girls.

1337. Welcome back, ladies.

1338. I've made some decisions.

1339. Chad Michaels.

1340. You're safe.

1341. Thank you, Ru.

1342. Awesome!

1343. Phi Phi O'Hara.

1344. You babied your daddy mama

1345. and carried this challenge

1346. to full term.

1347. Bam three!

1348. Condragulations.

1349. You are the winner of this

1350. challenge.

1351. Woo!

1352. Yeah, girls, oh, yeah!

1353. You and your daddy mama

1354. have each won a trip for two

1355. to Las Vegas courtesy of

1356. ALandCHUCK.travel.

1357. Ha, ha, ha, Vegas, Vegas,

1358. Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.

1359. Thank you. Mwa!

1360. And all of our daddy mamas

1361. will receive a $1000 gift

1362. certificate from Moods

1363. of Norway.

1364. Kenya Michaels.

1365. Your daddy mama presentation

1366. gave us a case of the baby

1367. blues.

1368. I'm sorry, my dear, but you

1369. are up for elimination.

1370. Ooh.

1371. Oh, no, not again.

1372. I don't wanna do Carmen.

1373. I don't wanna go home today.

1374. Sharon Needles.

1375. We got this.

1376. You gave your daddy mama

1377. a face only a mother could love.

1378. Latrice Royale, your daddy mama

1379. looked like a sister from

1380. another mister.

1381. Sharon Needles.

1382. You're safe.

1383. Yes! Yes! Yes!

1384. Latrice Royale.

1385. I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

1386. up for elimination.

1387. Okay.

1388. I'm sorry, mama.

1389. I didn't expect to be in

1390. the bottom two.

1391. But I'm gonna turn it out.

1392. It's do or die.

1393. Two queens stand before me.

1394. Ladies, this is your last chance

1395. to impress me and save yourself

1396. from elimination.

1397. The time has come to lip sync

1398. for your life.

1399. Good luck and don't fuck it up.

1400. [hooting, applauding]

1401. Ladies, I have made my

1402. decision.

1403. Latrice Royale.

1404. Shantay, you stay.

1405. Thank you.

1406. Lil' Kenya Michaels.

1407. It's hard to say goodbye

1408. to a queen like you.

1409. 'Til we meet again.

1410. Now, sashay away.

1411. I feel sad because all the

1412. girls, uh, have the dream to win

1413. this competition and maybe it's

1414. not my time.

1415. Don't stop dreaming.

1416. All the dreams come true.

1417. Wow,

1418. the fantastic four.

1419. The future of drag

1420. rests in your hands.

1421. Now, remember, if you can't love

1422. yourself, how in the hell are

1423. you gonna love somebody else?

1424. Can I get an "Amen" up in here?

1425. Amen.

1426. All right, now let

1427. the music play.