RuPaul's Drag Race 4x10

1. Previously,

2. on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

3. It's time to make some herstory.

4. How you doin'?

5. Yeeha!

6. Change for the Ritz.

7. Everyone needs "Peace with

8. Latrice."

9. I am of the people

10. and for the people.

11. I'm Sharon Needles

12. for "Sharing Responsibilities."

13. Condragulations, you are

14. the winner of this challenge.

15. Latrice Royale.

16. Shantay, you stay.

17. Dida Ritz.

18. Sashay away.

19. Thank you.

20. Once again, I've been

21. criticized for sending some

22. of my queens home too soon.

23. Michelle, I want you to confer

24. with Santino to decide which one

25. of the eliminated queens...

26. deserves to return.

27. No. Bitch. Top four.

28. No mo' hos.

29. And tonight,

30. the dolls meet their mamas.

31. Whoa.

32. Man!

33. And it ain't pretty.

34. You okay?

35. With extra-special guest

36. judges Jesse Tyler Ferguson

37. and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

38. The winner of

39. RuPaul's Drag Race will

40. receive...

41. a lifetime supply of NYX

42. cosmetics, a one-of-a-kind trip

43. courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,

44. headline Logo's Drag Race Tour

45. featuring Absolut Vodka,

46. cocktails perfected,

47. and a cash prize of $100,000.

48. And may the best woman win.

49. God.

50. What?

51. Don't "what" me.

52. Cluck, cluck, top four.

53. What does it say?

54. Stay true.

55. Chad, Needles, Latrice.

56. Dida's gone, but she left

57. a little piece of herself

58. for us to remember her.

59. Cheesecake!

60. Well, Miss Dida, she was

61. fierce!

62. She was fierce.

63. Okay, so let's say this right

64. now so it's really official.

65. We are...

66. the top four!

67. Some shit's gonna go down.

68. No!

69. There will be a departed

70. queen returning to

71. the competition this morning.

72. Who do you think it's gonna be?

73. Bringing anyone back isn't

74. fair, in my opinion.

75. We should make up some shirts

76. or some shit.

77. Shirts or like signs or—

78. Signs and shirts.

79. Top Four, Add No More.

80. Let's do this, honey.

81. Let's get it all going.

82. This sucks and we're protesting.

83. Top Four, Add No More.

84. Oh, let's go.

85. Ooh, girl, you've got

86. SheMail.

87. Ladies, this competition

88. is still pregnant with

89. possibilities, and soon a star

90. will be born, but will it be

91. a labor of love or a bastard

92. of disaster?

93. Time to push, ladies, push!

94. 'Cause I'm about to crown...

95. America's Next Drag

96. Superstar.

97. I hope it's a queen.

98. Hello, hello, hello.

99. Top Four, Add No More!

100. Top Four, Add No More!

101. Top Four, Add No More!

102. Woo!

103. Nice try, Norma Rae.

104. But this week, we are

105. celebrating the modern drag

106. family starting with the return

107. of one of your soul sisters.

108. Ladies, please welcome back...

109. Oh, the suspense is killing me.

110. Kenya Michaels is back.

111. Hey!

112. She's a force

113. to be reckoned with.

114. She can dance, and she's pretty,

115. and that's exactly what we don't

116. need right now.

117. Welcome home, mama.

118. Yeah, I'm ready.

119. I'm back in the building.

120. I'm ready to compete.

121. Now let's prepare, ladies.

122. Oh, pit crew.

123. For today's mini-challenge,

124. you need to get crafty

125. and turn these papa bears

126. into mama bears.

127. You'll have 20 minutes to drag

128. out your teddy bear.

129. The one queen with the most

130. un-bear-ably beautiful critter

131. will win.

132. Ready, set, growl.

133. Woo-hoo.

134. Better make your spook bear,

135. bitch.

136. Boo! City.

137. Sorry, Kenya, we've lost

138. our fucking minds.

139. Look what you left me with.

140. Now I'm not the youngest or

141. the shortest or the fishiest.

142. And you never will be,

143. Blanche, and you never were.

144. Okay, ladies, time's up.

145. Let's take a look at your

146. lady bears.

147. RuPaul, meet Malibu Bearbie.

148. She's very Jiggly Caliente.

149. Yes.

150. May I call you Jiggly?

151. Next up, Sharon Needles.

152. The Bride of Chuckie wore black.

153. She's part of the Scare Bear

154. Collection.

155. I Let her borrow my contacts.

156. So, who do we

157. have here?

158. We have La Transbear.

159. Are those pasties

160. on that bear?

161. Yes, they're pasties,

162. yeah, they're sexy.

163. She is a fishy bear

164. and bears love fish.

165. This is Portia The Pooh.

166. I see that her face

167. is bejeweled.

168. Like mother, like daughter.

169. This is Princess Bitch Bear.

170. She comes complete with a set

171. of accessories.

172. Booger Bear.

173. Those are all jealous bears

174. over there.

175. Ladies, one bear is creating

176. a creating a panda-monium.

177. The winner of today's

178. mini-challenge is...

179. Lil' Kenya Michaels.

180. Yes, I win.

181. La Transbear.

182. But, ladies, you can all be

183. proud of your work because all

184. of your dragged out bears will

185. be auctioned off by the Bear to

186. Make a Difference Project...

187. Yay.

188. Oh.

189. which supports

190. The Matthew Shepard Foundation's

191. efforts to erase hate.

192. Can I get an "Amen" in here?

193. Amen.

194. Ladies, when I was growing up,

195. a man went to work and left his

196. wife at home to raise

197. the children.

198. But, in today's modern family,

199. we expect a lot more from our

200. father figures.

201. Now, to prove my point, I want

202. you to meet some DILTF,

203. or Dads I'd Like To Frock.

204. Whoa, truck-drivin', burly

205. men like for real, for real.

206. Ladies, for today's main

207. challenge, you need to transform

208. these handsome daddies

209. into sexy drag queen mamas.

210. All right, dads, please

211. introduce yourselves.

212. I'm Leland, the father of 6.

213. Six?

214. Yes.

215. Damn, Leland.

216. Hi, I'm Rick and I have

217. a beautiful daughter,

218. she's 6 years old,

219. and a beautiful son.

220. He's 4 years old.

221. My name is James.

222. I have a beautiful 2-year-old

223. daughter.

224. My name's Chris.

225. I'm a proud father of two

226. beautiful girls.

227. My name is Mike and I have

228. 6 children and 5 grandchildren.

229. Wow, so you're

230. a grandfather I'd like to frock.

231. I am.

232. All right, Lil' Kenya,

233. since you won the

234. mini-challenge, you get to

235. pick a daddy for each of

236. the other girls.

237. You go with Chad Michaels.

238. I'm looking at Kenya and I'm

239. kinda doing like the eye thing

240. so that way she knows like

241. to send the guy this way or

242. this way.

243. Where are you gonna go?

244. When she comes to pick out

245. my guy, I just give her like

246. a little nod so that way

247. she just comes and gives

248. me my guy.

249. With Phi Phi.

250. Um...

251. You're gonna be with Spooky.

252. Okay.

253. Hi, Sharon Needles.

254. The guy that I have been

255. given has the brickest face

256. in the bunch.

257. He's too manly to be pretty.

258. How are ya?

259. Leland is with Latrice.

260. So, Lil' Kenya, who's your

261. daddy?

262. This is my daddy.

263. My guy is the most beautiful

264. woman because he's gonna look

265. like Jessica Wild or something.

266. Now, you can use your own

267. drag plus extra materials and

268. hair courtesy of Risque Wigs.

269. Now I'm expecting to see a

270. strong family resemblance and

271. tomorrow, on the main stage,

272. to keep things in a family way,

273. you and your daddy mama will be

274. carrying a bun in the oven.

275. That's right.

276. The category is...

277. Baby Bump Realness.

278. It's one thing to put these

279. dads in drag, but now it's gotta

280. be maternity clothes.

281. She's gonna be pregnant.

282. Ugh.

283. Okay, little mamas,

284. your charisma, uniqueness,

285. nerve and talent got you into

286. this situation.

287. Now you need to use it to turn

288. it out.

289. Gentlemen, start your engines

290. and may the best "mutha" win.

291. All right, come on.

292. How do you call it, rhi—

293. what do you call 'em?

294. These are sequins.

295. Sequins.

296. I didn't even know they made

297. stuff like this.

298. Is that your cell phone

299. in your pants or are you

300. just happy to see me?

301. No.

302. Okay, they didn't tell me

303. I was in the movie "Anaconda".

304. What's goin' on here?

305. Oh, my god, this one's

306. a freak.

307. Michael the psycho is so weird.

308. Oh, baby.

309. It makes me wanna run

310. and take a shower immediately.

311. Are you single?

312. Not today.

313. Sharon's DILTF looks

314. freakin' insane.

315. He's like the "Silence of

316. the Lambs" killer.

317. Coming up...

318. Ah, fuck, this fucking

319. shit hurts.

320. Walk in the fucking heels

321. and shut up.

322. You've been criticized for

323. proportion.

324. I'll be fine.

325. I get worried when you do

326. that, oh, it's gonna be fine,

327. because there have been times

328. when you've done that

329. and it didn't work.

330. I'm gonna get you pregnant.

331. Why do we have to be

332. pregnant?

333. Today we have to turn filth

334. into MILTFs, pregnant,

335. glamorous MILTFs.

336. Man!

337. You have to get rid of

338. your manhood.

339. But that will hurt.

340. No, it doesn't hurt.

341. If you push 'em up

342. inside you?

343. That's where they go.

344. Oooh.

345. It's either that or you

346. can sit on 'em and that's not

347. exactly—

348. Sit on 'em? Oh, shit, no!

349. You tape it to your leg

350. or something like that?

351. I'm gonna be servin'

352. moose knuckles.

353. They wanna see like

354. the transformation, like

355. the difference, and you look

356. like a dude.

357. I'm a pretty manly man.

358. I get paired up with Chris.

359. I'm super excited because

360. he's really getting into this.

361. I'm down to go all the way.

362. I wanna win this shit.

363. It's kinda fun teaching

364. a straight guy how to be me.

365. How're you doing?

366. Pretty good, you?

367. Good.

368. Don't talk to my dad.

369. I can talk to your dad

370. if I want, all right?

371. Maybe your dad likes me better.

372. He wants to be on the winning

373. team, so I doubt it.

374. Yeah, 'cause we're gonna win.

375. You like that?

376. He even talks like Phi Phi.

377. I think Chris is just like me.

378. That's what I like 'cause that

379. way I can school these hos.

380. Phi Phi loves to come for

381. me and she can come for me all

382. she wants.

383. Come for me, baby.

384. However, I have to stay focused.

385. What I'm producing has to be

386. perfect.

387. No, that's way too bright.

388. I don't like fact that it's

389. so long 'cause I'm thinkin'

390. like right about here.

391. Show some tits.

392. He could chill out just

393. a little bit because I do know

394. what I'm doing and I don't need

395. too much direction.

396. Something like

397. a four-inch bam!

398. Walk. Come on, walk.

399. Okay, don't bounce.

400. Don't do that.

401. No, don't do that.

402. Okay, come on, walk, walk.

403. How you feel?

404. Like it, it, it's just...

405. Is that how they usually feel,

406. like hurting here?

407. Yeah, all the time.

408. All the time?

409. Yeah, all the time.

410. My toes are like this

411. right now.

412. Yeah, I know because you

413. have man feet.

414. Aw, fuck, this fucking

415. shit hurts.

416. Walk in the fucking heels

417. and shut up!

418. Hello, hello, hello?

419. Hey, Ru.

420. Oh, Ru.

421. Well, hello, Phi Phi

422. and Chris.

423. Apparently, you're making your

424. outfits?

425. We wanna be like sexy moms.

426. We're gonna have like fun,

427. flirty little pregnant dresses.

428. You've been criticized for

429. proportion.

430. I'll be fine. It'll work.

431. I get worried when you do

432. that, oh, it's gonna be fine.

433. I know you do.

434. It'll work. It'll work.

435. It'll be fine.

436. Remember, there have been times

437. when you've done that

438. and it didn't work.

439. Now do you think you have enough

440. time to finish sewing these

441. outfits?

442. Yeah, it's not gonna

443. take long.

444. There's that thing again.

445. It'll be fine.

446. No, it's gonna be good.

447. Get to sewing.

448. All righty. Thank you, Ru.

449. Hi, Leland. Hi, Latrice.

450. Hello, Ru.

451. Will you be wearing

452. matching gowns?

453. Um, well...

454. We're looking for a family

455. resemblance.

456. Absolutely, but...

457. it's gonna work out, I think.

458. So, Leland, what are you most

459. nervous about?

460. Walkin' in them shoes.

461. Really?

462. Oh, yeah.

463. Do you play sports at all?

464. I used to.

465. Yeah, well, because honestly

466. it has to do with your center of

467. gravity and knowing your body

468. and your hand-eye coordination.

469. Still, I ain't got no

470. coordination for basketball,

471. dribblin' and, no, no.

472. Hm.

473. All right, Royale sisters,

474. you have a lot of work to do.

475. I'm gonna leave you to it.

476. Thank you, Ru.

477. All right.

478. Hey, Rick.

479. Hi!

480. Hey, Lil' Kenya.

481. You look like Elvis.

482. Do people tell you that?

483. My mom told me I look like

484. a young Elvis, yeah.

485. Now you're gonna look like

486. Lisa Marie Presley.

487. Have you picked a drag name

488. for Rick?

489. She's gonna be my Lil' Mama.

490. Lil' Mama.

491. Because I'm Lil' Kenya.

492. How do you feel about that,

493. Lil' Mama?

494. Uh, I don't feel like

495. a little mama.

496. Well, listen, you've got

497. a lot of work to do.

498. Let them have it.

499. Bye.

500. Hey, Chad.

501. Hey, RuPaul.

502. Wow, look at this.

503. Isn't that fun?

504. Yeah, it was both our ideas.

505. We're both very technical people

506. when we started out.

507. Is it off, is it going this,

508. doing that, you know, and—

509. He's taking a very active

510. role in this and he's very

511. assertive.

512. Now you've been doing this

513. for a long time.

514. Can you look at James' face

515. and tell what he's gonna look

516. like just based on bone

517. structure?

518. > Yeah, he's gonna be pretty.

519. Really?

520. We'll see.

521. I'm gonna let you get back

522. to it, okay?

523. Thank you.

524. Mike and Sharon Needles.

525. Hello.

526. How are you two kids gettin'

527. along?

528. Mike, you're getting into it

529. early, aren't ya?

530. Oh.

531. I'm embarrassed by Mike because

532. he seems to have no filter.

533. Why'd you decide to do this?

534. 'Cause I wanna bring out my

535. inner diva.

536. The only problem I have with

537. this outfit—

538. What is—

539. —is I think I'm havin'

540. a baby elephant.

541. You wanna see his trunk?

542. Now you kids have your work

543. cut out for you.

544. I'm gonna let you get back

545. to it.

546. Good luck taming Mike, okay?

547. Thank you so much, Ru.

548. Gather around, ladies

549. and gentlemen.

550. Tomorrow night, we'll be joined

551. by our extra-special guest

552. judges, one of TV's favorite

553. dads, "Modern Family"'s

554. Jesse Tyler Ferguson...

555. Yeah.

556. He's cute as a button.

557. and the always lovely

558. Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt.

559. But before you have a baby,

560. there should be a little

561. seduction.

562. So, tomorrow, prior to your

563. baby bump runway presentation,

564. each couple needs to get us in

565. the mood...

566. with a sexy striptease.

567. What?

568. Insane.

569. And, in the words of my

570. sainted mother, goddamn it,

571. you pussymouth motherfucker...

572. Don't fuck it up.

573. Coming up...

574. Like a girl, like, hey.

575. Yeah!

576. A little bit too much

577. testosterone running around

578. here, sunshine.

579. You're not gonna fuckin'

580. come up in my motherfuckin'

581. workroom and talk to me

582. like this, "occifer."

583. I'm panicking.

584. Welcome to the runway.

585. Awesome.

586. It's time for me and James

587. to do our striptease

588. and I'm a little apprehensive.

589. I just have to figure out how

590. to make it sexy because this

591. is supposed to be like

592. a strip "tease".

593. That's not turning me on

594. yet, dude.

595. I figure, with James, since

596. he doesn't have a lot of

597. experience, to keep it simple.

598. Walk out, looking at each

599. other, and let's hit.

600. So, your arm's gonna go up on

601. your... your right arm.

602. And you know how I like to be

603. perfect, darling.

604. Boom and then throw it.

605. You've never stripped before,

606. I'm sure.

607. No.

608. You've been to a strip joint,

609. though.

610. Lap dance? Tipping? Poles?

611. Yeah.

612. All of it. All right.

613. Hold right and then boom.

614. Perfect.

615. Real sexy, hands on hips.

616. Right to the "X" right here.

617. Pose. Perfect.

618. Just work your sexiness.

619. Like this, look. Oh!

620. Okay.

621. Perfect. Just up.

622. Perfect.

623. Gimme five, brother.

624. Got it. Man.

625. You're gonna win.

626. I hope so.

627. So, cross, out, cross, out.

628. I didn't even cross.

629. I feel like I'm walkin'

630. off the stage.

631. One, two, three, four,

632. five, six.

633. Aw, fuck.

634. That's right, I've gotta get

635. used to this thing.

636. It's kinda difficult to

637. transform like a big old macho

638. straight guy into like a real

639. feminine woman.

640. Five, six, grab it,

641. seven, eight.

642. Five, six...

643. all right.

644. Now that's clearly a dude.

645. I feel like I'm doin'

646. the Hulkamaniac.

647. Oh.

648. Do you know what "fishy" means?

649. Like a girl, like, hey.

650. Yeah!

651. Kiss, boom.

652. Boom.

653. No, you said boom after me.

654. That means you're not timing

655. with me.

656. Ah, back?

657. I know I shoulda saved my brain

658. cells when I was a kid.

659. That's no excuse.

660. Turning.

661. Now what?

662. I'm fuckin' brain dead, dude.

663. I want to kill him because

664. I have created the most

665. simplest, cheapest routine

666. that Helen Keller could do on

667. the first try.

668. Can you skip?

669. Nope.

670. I'm panicking.

671. I suck.

672. It is what it is.

673. Don't say, it is what it is

674. because it's my 100,000

675. fucking dollars.

676. I need to make sure that he's

677. giving 100%.

678. But I don't think I'm going

679. to get it.

680. You okay?

681. There, it's comin' alive now.

682. There she go.

683. You know who you look like now?

684. Rick James.

685. And you're trying to make me

686. look like Teena Marie, though.

687. What if, uh, one of your

688. daughters grew up to be gay?

689. What would you tell them?

690. I wouldn't care.

691. You wouldn't care at all?

692. Naw, even if I had a son—

693. That's good.

694. It is what it is.

695. But that's good that

696. you wouldn't shun your kids

697. or anything.

698. My dad, he didn't like it

699. at all.

700. That sucks.

701. I haven't talked to him

702. since I was like 18.

703. One day, he'll realize

704. what he's not being part of.

705. It's really cool to talk to

706. someone that, you know, they're

707. straight, but they see how my

708. lifestyle is, and it's okay to

709. be who I am.

710. If you had a son, would you

711. have him audition for "RuPaul's

712. Drag Race"?

713. Nah, 'cause he'd probably

714. do a better job than I do.

715. Do you have a boyfriend?

716. I do, yeah.

717. How long?

718. Eight years and I was here

719. during our anniversary.

720. On our eighth year

721. anniversary, we renewed

722. our vows.

723. Well, we might renew our vows

724. if we can ever get married.

725. Why call it a marriage,

726. if you're gonna offend so many

727. people?

728. It's making everybody equal.

729. Say I've been together

730. with somebody for 40 years.

731. Say I get sick.

732. I go into the hospital.

733. They can't come visit me because

734. they're not related to me in

735. any way.

736. So, that's what we're

737. fighting for.

738. That's what you're standing

739. up and saying.

740. That would kill me to know

741. if I was sick laying in a bed

742. somewhere

743. that Adam couldn't come see me.

744. That's okay. Come on.

745. No, it's cool. I just—

746. I know.

747. It just comes up, you know.

748. Yeah, it's cool.

749. Just to know that, god,

750. he would be locked out,

751. and he would be left with

752. nothing.

753. I don't believe that's fair

754. at all.

755. I support you guys.

756. Everybody should have the right

757. to love who they want to love,

758. you know.

759. You expect me to walk up on

760. this thing in these?

761. Yeah.

762. Put on them shoes, boo-boo.

763. Ugh, I can't even walk on it

764. barefoot.

765. Ooh.

766. Whew.

767. Okay.

768. Tell me you got some rhythm.

769. I got some rhythm,

770. but I don't know if I've got

771. any sexiness.

772. Oh!

773. I need sexy swagger.

774. I need hips and ass, and he

775. don't have none of that goin'.

776. Whoa.

777. Are you okay with your shoes?

778. Yeah.

779. Do I need 'em right now?

780. You have to practice.

781. Fuck.

782. Come on.

783. One... and two.

784. The chair.

785. The legs.

786. Ha. Ha. Ha.

787. I do the splits.

788. He needs to be sexy.

789. Come on, one more time.

790. Five, six, seven...

791. oh, okay.

792. Rick is a hot guy,

793. but not a dancer.

794. That's it?

795. Oh, my god.

796. One, two, three, four.

797. It's the end of the day

798. and I'm panicking because

799. we have a short window of time

800. to get something so simple done.

801. Since you're strong,

802. what if I turned around

803. and you caught me?

804. Yeah, let's make it more

805. difficult.

806. Yeah.

807. Ladies, can you vacate our

808. runway, please?

809. Vacate our runway.

810. Get the fuck off our runway.

811. We're better off than them.

812. Don't make up excuses why

813. you guys are inferior to us.

814. Well, their dance techniques

815. are bitchin'.

816. Not really.

817. A little bit too much

818. testosterone runnin' around

819. here, sunshine.

820. Why are you giving such

821. a bad attitude right now?

822. 'Cause I've got my diva bitch

823. attitude and we're gonna win it.

824. Okay, I get it.

825. You guys need to just

826. stay home.

827. Your diva bitch attitude.

828. Bitch, stay home.

829. Bitch, I didn't come here

830. to stay home, "occifer."

831. I hope it isn't your last day

832. here tomorrow.

833. But you know what?

834. What?

835. You're not gonna fuckin' come

836. up in my motherfuckin' workroom

837. and talk to me like this, sir.

838. I just did, didn't I.

839. Well, you know what, maybe

840. you need to be fuckin' removed

841. with your badass motherfuckin'

842. attitude.

843. Fuck that shit.

844. Sharon?

845. Are you gonna let this bitch

846. talk to me like this?

847. Oh, I'm a bitch now.

848. Do not call my sister

849. a bitch.

850. I'm working with a DILTK,

851. a Dad I'd Like To Kill.

852. Coming up...

853. I have such a girl-crush

854. on both of you.

855. I'm getting like an

856. Al Pachino in drag and not in

857. a good way.

858. It was the most somber walk

859. I've ever seen.

860. That poor baby.

861. Cluck, cluck, ladies.

862. Good morning, everybody.

863. Y'all are gonna be women.

864. We're back in the workroom

865. today and I have to get myself

866. in drag, my dad in drag,

867. and we have to get ready for

868. the runway.

869. I stirred up the shit

870. yesterday and I wanted to give

871. them something to think about,

872. a little drag queen drama.

873. Inescapable.

874. Let me ask you a question.

875. Were you ever bullied in school?

876. Oh, my god, are you

877. kidding me?

878. It was terrible.

879. You know, they'd wait for

880. me after school and like

881. beat me up.

882. Was this anything you could

883. report to the police?

884. I never wanted to report

885. it because I was embarrassed.

886. Well, I'm sorry.

887. That's gotta be so frickin'

888. hard, man.

889. You know, I'm learning a lot

890. about the world.

891. As much as I rag on Mike,

892. he certainly was sympathetic

893. to the fact that I went through

894. a lot of hell growing up.

895. He still doesn't know how

896. to fuckin' dance.

897. Dude, it's already squashed.

898. Yeah, yeah.

899. I need to put tape.

900. Let me see this.

901. No, I'm not taping my dick.

902. Just tuck it back.

903. It don't feel that bad.

904. It's okay.

905. I remember a friend in high

906. school tucking, after he saw

907. "Silence of the Lambs." Oh.

908. Oh.

909. Let me see.

910. Rick can tuck himself.

911. I have to...

912. What about the balls?

913. You can take your

914. dick from the back and pull up.

915. Like that?

916. No, more.

917. It's gonna look like

918. a tail.

919. Put it on the side

920. of the balls?

921. It's from the back.

922. I think the balls

923. are too big.

924. I'm sorry.

925. I'm really glad I didn't

926. have to kick your ass yesterday.

927. It was all in a good time,

928. you know?

929. I just... I may have pushed

930. the envelope a little too far,

931. but I was totally joking.

932. It's all right.

933. I needed to blow some steam

934. off, anyway.

935. Well, it's good.

936. You can use me for that.

937. I have a really good poker face.

938. I was crackin' up inside.

939. I'm sure you were.

940. Ain't no fun if there

941. ain't no drama.

942. That's the way I look at it.

943. Hey, guys.

944. Hey, gorgeous.

945. Hey, Ru.

946. Welcome to the main stage

947. of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

948. Michelle Visage.

949. Hi, mommy.

950. How are you, baby?

951. We match tonight.

952. And we're all eatin'

953. at Red Lobster.

954. Mmm-mmm!

955. Santino Rice.

956. Great to be here, Ru.

957. And look who the stork

958. brought.

959. It's Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

960. Hi, Ru.

961. Are you ready to meet

962. my modern family?

963. Bring 'em on, all of 'em.

964. Jennifer Love Hewitt,

965. welcome to our blessed event.

966. Thank you for having me.

967. Hi.

968. Will you be our Drag

969. Whisperer?

970. Yes.

971. This week, the queens

972. were challenged to transform

973. real-life daddies into

974. sexy drag mamas.

975. They'll perform a seductive

976. striptease before they rockabye

977. the runway wearing

978. their best baby bump eleganza.

979. Gentlemen, start your engines

980. and may the best woman win.

981. Woo-hoo!

982. Oh, yeah.

983. Rick's doing

984. the choreography.

985. Rick knows the choreography.

986. But Rick's not sexy.

987. It's like dancing with

988. Leslie Nielsen in "Airplane."

989. That's what I thought

990. he looked like.

991. Leland's missing a couple

992. of cues, but I'm not worried

993. about it.

994. We're workin' it out the best

995. way we can.

996. Oh, yeah.

997. It's top five,

998. so the judges are gonna look

999. for anything to put us in

1000. the bottom, so I hope that

1001. our routine was good enough

1002. to get us by.

1003. Oh, yeah!

1004. Let the baby bump parade begin.

1005. Sharelle and Latrice Royale.

1006. The water has

1007. broken, honey.

1008. Oh, lord.

1009. You'd better get

1010. lamaze over here.

1011. Nine months later.

1012. If you're part of

1013. the Royale family, you're

1014. definitely gonna be a glamour

1015. girl, so Leland's looking very

1016. elegant and very lady.

1017. She's looking gorgeous.

1018. She didn't know she

1019. was pregnant.

1020. Gi Gi and Phi Phi O'Hara.

1021. Ladies, the auditions for

1022. "16 and Pregnant" are down

1023. the hall.

1024. Chris and I are

1025. basically just trying to serve

1026. sexy, pregnant MILTF thrillness.

1027. I kinda feel like he was a drag

1028. queen in like a past life

1029. because he's doing this too

1030. good.

1031. It's a boy.

1032. It's a girl.

1033. It's both.

1034. Best friends and pregnant.

1035. Lil' Mama

1036. and Lil' Kenya Michaels.

1037. Being pregnant is hard.

1038. Macabre, too, apparently.

1039. Yeah.

1040. We're in this together, mom.

1041. I know that Rick is

1042. gonna be a man and I think,

1043. okay, if Rick is gonna be a man,

1044. he's gonna be a beautiful man.

1045. Kloe and Kourtney

1046. Kardashian.

1047. It is.

1048. Next up, Robin

1049. Mansions and Sharon Needles.

1050. Honey, they're having

1051. Rosemary's baby.

1052. My other eye is my good

1053. judgment eye.

1054. Me and Robin are servin' up

1055. filthy ass bad girls.

1056. Who slept with Robin?

1057. Who got her pregnant?

1058. Is this morning sickness or

1059. is she gagging on her beauty?

1060. Apparently, Marilyn Manson

1061. does have a uterus.

1062. Lady Samantha

1063. and Chad Michaels.

1064. Now that is an immaculate

1065. misconception.

1066. Paris Hilton,

1067. meet your future.

1068. We are serving

1069. carnivale, pregnancy realness.

1070. We are so happy to be pregnant

1071. and we're glowing with

1072. anticipation.

1073. There's a couple of

1074. baby boomers.

1075. It's a very long child.

1076. It is a tall one.

1077. My cervix is softening just

1078. watching.

1079. Is it? Mwa!

1080. Coming up...

1081. I wasn't a huge fan of

1082. the striptease.

1083. I'm not seeing the family

1084. resemblance.

1085. It's more like two friends in

1086. a Tyler Perry movie.

1087. Welcome, ladies.

1088. First up, Chad Michaels

1089. and Lady Samantha.

1090. How are you?

1091. Hi, judges.

1092. Let's take a look at

1093. Lady Samantha's before picture.

1094. That's James.

1095. And, baby, look at you now.

1096. Did you tuck?

1097. A little bit, yes.

1098. Ah.

1099. How do you tuck just

1100. a little bit?

1101. Yeah, I just pushed things

1102. around.

1103. Like just between your cheek

1104. and gums?

1105. Yes, sir.

1106. He doesn't have vamp,

1107. but he has bam.

1108. I have to say, James,

1109. Lady Samantha, if you're nasty,

1110. I think you're wearing the

1111. highest heels on the catwalk

1112. here which I think should not

1113. go unrecognized.

1114. Very impressive.

1115. Thank you.

1116. James, I love that you were

1117. almost like put out with how

1118. hot you were.

1119. I thought that was really great.

1120. I'd like to adopt that quality.

1121. So, James, would you

1122. schtup you?

1123. Oh, yeah.

1124. Next up, Sharon Needles

1125. and Robin Mansions.

1126. That's Mike.

1127. And now look at you.

1128. What's your favorite part of

1129. the drag getup?

1130. He seemed to be very occupied

1131. by my breastplate.

1132. Oh?

1133. I liked it.

1134. Is Mike wearing it now?

1135. Uh, no—

1136. I just swallowed half of it.

1137. I'm getting like an

1138. Al Pachino in drag thing

1139. and not in a good way.

1140. Robin Mansion's face repels

1141. beauty and I love that.

1142. Nothing makes a woman feel

1143. pretty than sittin' next to

1144. this one over here.

1145. Well, that's why I hang out

1146. with Michelle Visage.

1147. All right, next up,

1148. Phi Phi O'Hara and Gi Gi.

1149. Wow, that's Chris.

1150. Now you are Gi Gi.

1151. You're gorgeous.

1152. Thank you.

1153. What was the hardest part

1154. of the striptease?

1155. Being fully tucked

1156. and walking in high heels.

1157. So you were fully tucked.

1158. I had the elephant all the

1159. way back towards the water hole.

1160. Oh, really?

1161. I like seeing the

1162. resemblance.

1163. You look like you share DNA.

1164. You look fantastic, I mean,

1165. a great job there.

1166. I have such a girl-crush

1167. on both of you.

1168. What was the most difficult

1169. part of working with your

1170. daddy mama?

1171. We really worked well

1172. together.

1173. He was like an inspiration for

1174. what everybody should be.

1175. He's an open-minded heterosexual

1176. male that just values people for

1177. who they are, doesn't judge

1178. a book by its cover.

1179. My dad's not like that.

1180. If I could have a dad like him,

1181. then my life would probably be

1182. a lot easier and, you know,

1183. I wish I had that bond, so...

1184. It's nice to have a friend

1185. like this.

1186. It'll happen one day.

1187. Do you think your father

1188. will watch this show?

1189. Probably not and that's okay.

1190. I'm fine with that.

1191. I just, uh, I hope he values...

1192. like who I am.

1193. If I can get anything from this,

1194. I'm just happy he was here to

1195. see that I'm a good person.

1196. That felt so good.

1197. Thank you.

1198. Thanks, kids.

1199. Thank you.

1200. Next up, Latrice Royale

1201. and Sharelle Royale.

1202. That's Leland.

1203. Girl, you've come a long way.

1204. Sharelle is a ho.

1205. She can't even get enough

1206. of herself in the mirror.

1207. Really?

1208. Trust.

1209. Look at that.

1210. Do you see this?

1211. Yes.

1212. That's gorgeousness.

1213. That's gorgeousness.

1214. But the family resemblance,

1215. though, it ain't up in there.

1216. You don't see that?

1217. Well, I don't know.

1218. I'm different.

1219. Okay.

1220. See, there it is.

1221. Now what? See?

1222. I will follow suit and say

1223. that I'm not seeing the family

1224. resemblance.

1225. Sort of more like you're just

1226. two friends in a Tyler Perry

1227. movie.

1228. Next up, Lil' Kenya Michaels

1229. and Lil' Mama Michaels.

1230. That's Rick.

1231. Wow.

1232. And this is

1233. Lil' Mama Michaels.

1234. Rick, I feel like you

1235. and I could be related.

1236. I think we'd look a little bit

1237. alike if I straightened my hair.

1238. And I'm diggin' it.

1239. I don't love the dresses

1240. that I'm seeing here.

1241. I think they could have used

1242. a little more flash.

1243. I would have liked to have seen

1244. a little more sparkle.

1245. Lil' Mama, was this

1246. an unwanted pregnancy?

1247. Uh, yeah.

1248. Because it was the most

1249. somber, macabre, friggin' death

1250. walk I've ever seen.

1251. I was like, oh, this poor baby.

1252. I'm ready to have this baby.

1253. Oh, really?

1254. Yeah.

1255. I have like four underwears

1256. right now and like two

1257. pantyhose.

1258. Even these shoes,

1259. they don't even fit me.

1260. They're glued to my feet

1261. right now.

1262. Literally glued to your feet.

1263. They're glued to my feet

1264. so I can't shake them...

1265. They're glued and they can't

1266. come off.

1267. Thank you, ladies.

1268. I think we've heard enough.

1269. Now while you untuck in

1270. the Interior Illusions Lounge,

1271. the judges and I will

1272. deliberate.

1273. All right, kids, just between

1274. us "goils".

1275. Let's start with Chad Michaels

1276. and Lady Samantha.

1277. I loved the striptease,

1278. I loved the walk.

1279. The runway presentation was

1280. very basic, nothing sexy about

1281. it at all.

1282. Because Chad doesn't take risks,

1283. it brings Chad down.

1284. Well, I was enamored

1285. with him.

1286. I thought she did a remarkable

1287. job with Lady Samantha.

1288. Sharon Needles

1289. with Robin Mansions.

1290. I love Sharon Needles.

1291. I love her energy, I love her

1292. humor, I love her look.

1293. However, I really thought

1294. Robin Mansions was a dawg of

1295. a lady onstage.

1296. I just feel like she left

1297. her sister out to tank.

1298. Phi Phi O'Hara

1299. and her sister Gi Gi.

1300. Phi Phi is absolutely

1301. adorable.

1302. I heart Phi Phi O'Hara.

1303. Loved the shoes, loved the bag,

1304. love everything—love it.

1305. There was really an uncanny

1306. resemblance.

1307. Yeah.

1308. Latrice Royale

1309. and Sharelle.

1310. Oh, the Royale sisters.

1311. We're sisters, but we look

1312. nothing alike.

1313. I just felt like they had

1314. a different baby daddy.

1315. I wasn't a huge fan of

1316. the striptease.

1317. For me, a little lackluster.

1318. Lil' Kenya Michaels

1319. and Lil' Mama Michaels.

1320. I thought little Eva Longoria

1321. was just adorable.

1322. So much charisma and I can

1323. probably see why you'd want

1324. to bring her back.

1325. Their pregnancy dresses,

1326. the fur coming out at the top,

1327. the sweater set and the marabou

1328. trim, it was all a little bit

1329. wrong.

1330. Kenya Michaels is a fierce

1331. queen.

1332. It's unfortunate that she's just

1333. off her game.

1334. Silence!

1335. Now, bring back my girls.

1336. Welcome back, ladies.

1337. I've made some decisions.

1338. Chad Michaels.

1339. You're safe.

1340. Thank you, Ru.

1341. Awesome!

1342. Phi Phi O'Hara.

1343. You babied your daddy mama

1344. and carried this challenge

1345. to full term.

1346. Bam three!

1347. Condragulations.

1348. You are the winner of this

1349. challenge.

1350. Woo!

1351. Yeah, girls, oh, yeah!

1352. You and your daddy mama

1353. have each won a trip for two

1354. to Las Vegas courtesy of

1355. ALandCHUCK.travel.

1356. Ha, ha, ha, Vegas, Vegas,

1357. Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.

1358. Thank you. Mwa!

1359. And all of our daddy mamas

1360. will receive a $1000 gift

1361. certificate from Moods

1362. of Norway.

1363. Kenya Michaels.

1364. Your daddy mama presentation

1365. gave us a case of the baby

1366. blues.

1367. I'm sorry, my dear, but you

1368. are up for elimination.

1369. Ooh.

1370. Oh, no, not again.

1371. I don't wanna do Carmen.

1372. I don't wanna go home today.

1373. Sharon Needles.

1374. We got this.

1375. You gave your daddy mama

1376. a face only a mother could love.

1377. Latrice Royale, your daddy mama

1378. looked like a sister from

1379. another mister.

1380. Sharon Needles.

1381. You're safe.

1382. Yes! Yes! Yes!

1383. Latrice Royale.

1384. I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

1385. up for elimination.

1386. Okay.

1387. I'm sorry, mama.

1388. I didn't expect to be in

1389. the bottom two.

1390. But I'm gonna turn it out.

1391. It's do or die.

1392. Two queens stand before me.

1393. Ladies, this is your last chance

1394. to impress me and save yourself

1395. from elimination.

1396. The time has come to lip sync

1397. for your life.

1398. Good luck and don't fuck it up.

1399. Ladies, I have made my

1400. decision.

1401. Latrice Royale.

1402. Shantay, you stay.

1403. Thank you.

1404. Lil' Kenya Michaels.

1405. It's hard to say goodbye

1406. to a queen like you.

1407. 'Til we meet again.

1408. Now, sashay away.

1409. I feel sad because all the

1410. girls, uh, have the dream to win

1411. this competition and maybe it's

1412. not my time.

1413. Don't stop dreaming.

1414. All the dreams come true.

1415. Wow,

1416. the fantastic four.

1417. The future of drag

1418. rests in your hands.

1419. Now, remember, if you can't love

1420. yourself, how in the hell are

1421. you gonna love somebody else?

1422. Can I get an "Amen" up in here?

1423. Amen.

1424. All right, now let

1425. the music play.