RuPaul's Drag Race 2x7

1. - PREVIOUSLY ON RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE...

2. - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,

3. EACH OF YOU WILL BE SINGING LIVE.

4. - THIS ISN'T WORKING.

5. - I THINK TATIANNA DEFINITELY KNOWS SHE'S THE WEAKEST ONE.

6. - Y'ALL READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?

7. - THIS IS A HEADBANGERS' BALL!

8. - I AM SCREWING UP RuPAUL'S SONG RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER FACE.

9. - TWO QUEENS STAND BEFORE ME.

10. JUJUBEE...

11. SHANTE, YOU STAY.

12. SAHARA DAVENPORT...

13. SASHAY AWAY.

14. - AND, TONIGHT...

15. - READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

16. - THE LIBRARY IS OPEN—

17. - AW, RU, WE HAVE AN UNDER-GROWN ORANGUTAN.

18. - OOH!

19. - ... AND THE DOLLS GET A REAL EDUCATION.

20. - IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A "GOLDEN SHOWER" IS,

21. IT'S VERY NAIVE.

22. - WITH EXTRA-SPECIAL GUEST JUDGES—

23. BEST-SELLING AUTHORS JACKIE COLLINS

24. AND GIGI LEVANGIE GRAZER,

25. AND ABSOLUT VODKA'S JEFFREY MORAN.

26. THE WINNER OF RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE

27. WHOO!

28. - THE WINNER OF RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE WILL RECEIVE

29. A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF NYX COSMETICS

30. AND BE THE FACE OFNYXCOSMETICS.COM,

31. AN EXCLUSIVE ONE-YEAR P.R. CONTRACT

32. WITH THE LEADING L.G.B.T. FIRM, PROJECT PUBLICITY,

33. BE FEATURED INL.A. EYEWORKS'

34. LEGENDARY DESIGNER EYEWEAR CAMPAIGN,

35. AND HEADLINE LOGO'S " DRAG RACE" TOUR,

36. FEATURING EXCEPTIONAL ABSOLUT DRINKS,

37. AND A CASH PRICE OF $25,000.

38. AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN!

39. - OH.

40. - LOOK AT THIS.

41. - "LIVE, LOVE, BELIEVE. SAHARA."

42. - IT'S YOUR FAULT.

43. THAT'S WHY SHE IS NOT HERE!

44. - HOW DID IT FEEL

45. TO FINALLY LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE?

46. - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

47. - OH, MY GOSH, THE LAST CHALLENGE,

48. I... SUCKED!

49. I NEVER WANT TO LIP-SYNC FOR MY LIFE EVER AGAIN.

50. EVER.

51. - YOU SAY YOU USED TO DO MUSICALS IN HIGH SCHOOL, RIGHT?

52. - I DID.

53. - HOW WERE PEOPLE WITH YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?

54. - I WAS EVERYBODY'S FRIEND, REALLY.

55. I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE—

56. - WERE YOU OUT IN HIGH SCHOOL?

57. - YEAH. TOTALLY.

58. LIKE, HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA HIDE THAT? HAH.

59. - I GOT PICKED ON IN HIGH SCHOOL.

60. THEY USED TO THROW PAPERS AT ME, AND STUFF.

61. EVERYONE REFERRED TO ME AS "THAT GAY BOY, JAMES."

62. - IN SPANISH, THE WORDS ARE MORE BAD.

63. PATO, PATO, PATO, PATO.

64. - YOU WANT TO HEAR IT IN MY LANGUAGE?

65. - WHAT?

66. - GATOY. GATOY, GATOY!

67. DOESN'T THAT SOUND DIRTY?

68. IMAGINE BEING CALLED THAT BY YOUR UNCLE.

69. - YEAH! - WOW.

70. - WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I—

71. EVERYBODY HAVE FUN ABOUT ME BECAUSE I'M GAY.

72. I WANT TO TAKE DANCE CLASS BEFORE,

73. BUT I CAN'T

74. BECAUSE I'M SCARED THAT MY MOM SAID,

75. "MY SON IS GAY?"

76. - I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF.

77. - OH, NO, SIR!

78. - I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT GAY WAS.

79. I KNEW I WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

80. I FELT TOTALLY ALONE.

81. I HATED MYSELF FOR, LIKE, YEARS.

82. AND I THOUGHT THAT, YOU KNOW,

83. "WELL, I'LL JUST TAKE ALL THESE PILLS

84. BECAUSE I DON'T— I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE."

85. - I WAS PRETTY SHOCKED WHEN PANDORA SHARED

86. THAT SHE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE,

87. AND SHE WAS REALLY, REALLY DEPRESSED.

88. - BUT THERE'S STILL, ONCE IN A WHILE,

89. THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT SAYS, "NO ONE LIKES YOU,"

90. OR "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH,"

91. AND IT'S TOUGH.

92. I MEAN, I DON'T THINK IT EVER GOES AWAY.

93. - THE ADVERSITY THAT I'VE GONE THROUGH,

94. BEING GAY,

95. HAS MADE ME STRONGER

96. AND REALLY HAS MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY,

97. AND I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH WHO I AM.

98. - CAN I GET AN AMEN UP IN THERE?

99. AMEN!

100. - OOH, GIRL!

101. YOU GOT SHE-MALE!

102. - OH!

103. HEY, RACERS!

104. I WANT TO READ YOU A LITTLE STORY CALLED

105. "DRAG FUN WITH DICK AND JANE."

106. SEE DICK.

107. SEE DICK TRY ON JANE'S PUMPS.

108. STRUT, DICK. STRUT!

109. YOU BETTERWORK, DICK.

110. AND THEY LIVED DRAGGILY EVER AFTER.

111. NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF FAIRY TALE.

112. WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

113. - HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

114. - HELLO! - HI!

115. - MY EXCEPTIONAL GIRLS.

116. NOW...

117. AS DRAG QUEENS, WE SHRUG OFF A LOT OF INSULTS.

118. SO WHEN WE GET OUR CHANCE TO THROW AN INSULT,

119. WE TURN IT INTO A HIGH ART-FORM.

120. WE CALL IT "READING," OR "THROWING SHADE,"

121. AND IT'S PART OF OUR CULTURE.

122. FOR TODAY'S MINI-CHALLENGE,

123. YOU WILL "READ" YOUR FELLOW QUEENS.

124. THE LIBRARY IS OPEN!

125. - I DON'T READ PEOPLE.

126. - OF COURSE YOU DON'T, TYRA, 'CAUSE YOU'RE CHRISTIAN.

127. COME OVER HERE, GIRL.

128. HERE ARE YOUR READING GLASSES.

129. NOW, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS GO DOWN THE LINE.

130. I WANT YOU TO READ THESE BITCHES.

131. READ, STARTING WITH TATI.

132. - OH, WOW... WE HAVE EMINEM DOING DRAG, MAMA.

133. - OH!

134. - WOW, AND STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HER,

135. IS THAT "DUMBO" FLYING IN?

136. - OH, MAMA! IS THIS JUJUBEE?

137. DARLING, LET ME GET TO YOUR LEVEL.

138. - OOH!

139. - RU, WE HAVE AN UNDER-GROWN ORANGUTAN.

140. - OH, HO, HO!

141. - AND NEXT TO HER— DARLING, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

142. AND THE ONE ON THE END— JUST LOOK AT HER, RU!

143. ARE YOU GOING SWIMMIN', OR ARE YOU DOING DRAG, MAMA?

144. WHAT IS THAT?

145. - WONDERFUL.

146. THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED.

147. TATIANNA, COME ON DOWN, HONEY.

148. THE LIBRARY IS OPEN.

149. - UGH. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

150. - GO.

151. - SMILE FOR ME? DON'T SMILE.

152. DO YOU PICK UP SATELLITE, THOSE BIG ONES?

153. CAN'T DO THIS.

154. - DIG DEEP, DARLING.

155. - I JUST COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY.

156. THAT'S TOTALLY NOT MY SCENE.

157. - I MUST. I'M GONE.

158. - TATIANNA GOT UP THERE AND FROZE.

159. SHE RUNS HER MOUTH ABOUT PEOPLE

160. BUT DOESN'T TALK WHEN SHE ABSOLUTELY HAS TO.

161. I'M SHOCKED TATIANNA'S STILL HERE.

162. - THE LIBRARY IS NOW... OPEN!

163. - YOU THINK THAT IS BIG?

164. YOU NEED TO SEE ANOTHER THING THAT I HAVE FOR YOU, BITCH.

165. - YOU ARE SOFAT, GIRL!

166. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAMA?

167. GO BACK TO CHINATOWN, GIRL.

168. - HOO-HOO-HOO! WAH!

169. - YOU ARE A GRINGA PUERCA.

170. - OH!

171. - YOU? THE TOP MODEL?

172. WHEN I SEE YOUR FACE, I SAID, PUNETA.

173. - OOH, HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

174. - OOH! LA BIBLIOTECAIS CLOSE.

175. ALL RIGHT, JUJUBEE.

176. - I'M NOT NERVOUS.

177. I'LL READ A BITCH.

178. I WILL READ YA TO FILTH.

179. MISS TYRA.

180. WAS YOUR BARBECUE CANCELLED? YOUR GRILL IS FUCKED UP.

181. AND MISS TATIANNA? MISS HONEY.

182. YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SOFT?

183. NOT BY THE HAIRS OF YOUR CHINNY-CHIN-CHIN.

184. - OOH! HOO-HOO-HOO!

185. - AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, PUERCA.

186. YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ANYWAYS.

187. - GET MY GIST? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

188. PANDORA.

189. CAN WE TALK ABOUT SUN-TANNING?

190. AND YOU!

191. LEGENDARY, YOU THINK YOU ARE.

192. "LEGENDARY" LOOKS LIKE "LEG AND DAIRY."

193. - OOH! HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

194. THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED.

195. OH. OKAY...

196. PANDORA BOXX?

197. - TYRA SANCHEZ.

198. IF YOU ARE AMERICA'S SWEETHEART,

199. AMERICA NEEDS A HEART TRANSPLANT.

200. - TATIANNA...

201. ALL I HEAR WHEN I PUT MY EAR UP TO YOURS

202. IS THE OCEAN.

203. - JESSICA WILD,

204. THOSE DRAG CLOTHES LOOK LIKE

205. A DONKEY FUCKED A PINATA AND THREW UP.

206. - JUJUBEE, WITH THAT GAPING THING YOU CALL AN ASSHOLE,

207. I THINK I COULD GO SPELUNKING IN THERE.

208. - OH! SPELUNKING?

209. - RAVEN. THE FROSTY BITCH.

210. I THINK I SEE PENGUINS CIRCLING THAT POLE.

211. - OH-HO-HO-HO!

212. THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED.

213. READY FOR THE FLAVOUR OF THE RAVEN?

214. - YOU GOT A GRILL

215. THAT COULD PUT BLACK AND DECKER OUT OF BUSINESS.

216. - OOH!

217. - EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE PRETTY? I DO THINK YOU'RE PRETTY.

218. I THINK YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE—

219. FOR RADIO.

220. - OH! OH... OOH. OOH.

221. - YOU WANT TO CALL ME A "TOP MODEL," MAMI?

222. BEND OVER AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.

223. I'LL BE YOUR TOP, MODEL.

224. - OH, THAT'S COLD. THAT'S COLD.

225. - HONEY. DON'T YOU KNOW A THING

226. ABOUT DOING A MANICURE AND A PEDICURE?

227. FIX THEM HOOVES, HONEY.

228. - PANDORA. BY THE LOOKS OF YOU,

229. YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE CHANGE OF LIFE, HONEY.

230. - OH! OH... OH...

231. SHE DONE CLOSED THE LIBRARIES.

232. OOH, CHILD.

233. I NEED TO DUCK AND COVER,

234. 'CAUSE Y'ALL BITCHES IS THROWING BEAUCOUPSHADE...

235. BUT THE WINNER IS...

236. JUJUBEE!

237. - I WIN! FINALLY!

238. - CONGRATULATIONS, MISS THING.

239. NOW, I WANTED TO TAKE THIS MOMENT

240. TO INTRODUCE YOU TO ABSOLUTIMAGE CZAR,

241. JEFFREY MORAN.

242. - HEY, LADIES. HOW ARE YOU?

243. HI.

244. - TO BE THE BEST, YOU HAVE TO BE DARING ENOUGH

245. TO DO THINGS A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.

246. AND WE'VE DONE THAT RECENTLY

247. WITH A BRAND-NEW FLAVOUR THAT WE'RE GONNA DEBUT HERE—

248. BERRY ACAI.

249. AND WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU TODAY IS JUST THAT.

250. WE WANT YOU TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT,

251. A LITTLE EXCEPTIONAL,

252. BECAUSE, JUST LIKE YOU,

253. WE BELIEVE THAT, IN AN ABSOLUTWORLD,

254. EVERY COCKTAIL IS AN EXCEPTIONAL EXPERIENCE.

255. - NOW, LADIES.

256. "EXCEPTIONAL" IS THE WORD OF THE WEEK.

257. NOW, I'VE HAD THE CHANCE TO WRITE TWO BOOKS

258. ABOUT MY OWN EXCEPTIONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES,

259. INCLUDING MY RECENT BOOK,

260. RuPAUL'S GUIDE

261. TO LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF STYLE.

262. WRITING A BOOK

263. IS A GREAT WAY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

264. FOR THIS WEEK'S MAIN CHALLENGE,

265. YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN BOOK.

266. AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY

267. THAT HIGHLIGHTS THE MOST EXCEPTIONAL MOMENTS

268. IN YOUR LIFE.

269. THEY SHOULD SHED LIGHT ON WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

270. AND, LATER ON,

271. YOU'LL BE WORKING WITH A TEAM OF PHOTOGRAPHERS,

272. IDRIS AND TONY,

273. TO CREATE THE PERFECT BOOK COVER.

274. AND I'LL BE BACK A LITTLE LATER TO CHECK ON YOUR PROGRESS.

275. GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES...

276. AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN.

277. - JUJUBEE?

278. - THIS IS MY CREATIVE INSPIRATION, OKAY?

279. - THAT'S YOUR THINKING CAP?

280. - IT'S MY THINKING "HAT."

281. - OUR MAIN CHALLENGE TODAY

282. IS TO COME UP WITH A CONCEPT OF WHAT OUR BOOK WOULD BE,

283. AND THEN DESIGN THE COVER FOR THE BOOK.

284. - THIS CHALLENGE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE OTHER CHALLENGES,

285. BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT US LETTING PEOPLE KNOW WHO WE ARE.

286. - I DEDICATE MY BOOK TO BEYONCE.

287. HOW DO YOU SPELL "SUCCESSFUL?"

288. - THIS MIGHT BE THE TURNING POINT FOR SOME PEOPLE.

289. - AW, SHIT.

290. - HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

291. - HELLO.

292. - HOW'S YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY, MISS JANE PITTMAN?

293. DO YOU HAVE A TITLE FOR YOUR BOOK?

294. - "THE WOMAN IN ME."

295. - IS THIS FUNNY, SERIOUS?

296. - IT'S MORE SERIOUS.

297. IT'S LIKE HOW THE WOMAN, WHICH IS TYRA, AND ME,

298. LIKE, GET BACK TO LOVING PEOPLE AND UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE,

299. AND HOW I WANT PEOPLE TO LOVE ME BACK.

300. - AS A TEENAGER, I MADE MISTAKES.

301. I WAS OUT ON THE STREETS.

302. I HAD A SON ON THE WAY.

303. SO IT WAS, LIKE, A LITTLE SCARY.

304. AND TO EXPRESS, AND THEN PUT IT OUT

305. HAS BEEN A LITTLE CHALLENGING.

306. - NOW, THE COVER OF YOUR BOOK. ANY IDEAS?

307. - UM, I DON'T HAVE ANY YET.

308. - IF YOU WANT TO BE BEHIND THIS BOOK,

309. YOU HAVE TO OWN IT HERE.

310. ANY QUESTIONS?

311. - NO. NONE.

312. - OKAY. HEY, MISS RAVEN.

313. - HELLO.

314. - DO YOU HAVE A TITLE FOR YOUR BOOK?

315. - "YOUNG, BROKE, AND FABULOUS."

316. I LOVE IT!

317. - MY FAVOURITE CHAPTER IS "LTR—"

318. "LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS." - LONG-TERM.

319. - THE LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP I FOUND

320. IS THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF.

321. - OOH! YOU'RE GETTING CLOSE TO HOME HERE.

322. - YES, GIRL.

323. - WELL, I WOULD JUST ADVISE YOU TO STRATEGIZE

324. WHO YOU SEE BUYING THIS BOOK.

325. - ESCANDALOSA MUCHO!

326. - ESCANDALOSA MALA!

327. - NOW, WHAT'S YOUR BOOK ABOUT?

328. - A KID.

329. HE ALWAYS HAVE DREAMS, DAYDREAMS,

330. AND, AT THE END, ALL THOSE DREAMS,

331. HE MAKE COME TRUE.

332. - WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF DREAMERS.

333. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE

334. THAT THE PEOPLE KNOW

335. THAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT JESSICA WILD,

336. AND A GORGEOUS PICTURE ON THE COVER,

337. A TITLE THAT'S KIND OF FUNNY TO SAY

338. OR CHEEKY,

339. SO THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS. OKAY?

340. - ALL RIGHT.

341. I'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT MY OWN THING.

342. I'M THINKING IN SPANISH AND WRITING IN ENGLISH,

343. AND I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME FOR WORK ON THIS.

344. - HI, TATIANNA.

345. - HELLO.

346. - TELL ME THE TITLE OF YOUR BOOK.

347. - IT'S CALLED "FROM TEEN QUEEN TO DRAG SUPERSTAR."

348. - SOUNDS SALACIOUS.

349. - IT'S ABOUT MY LIFE PRIOR TO BECOMING TATIANNA.

350. I STARTED DOING DRAG WHEN I WAS 14.

351. I CAME OUT IN FIFTH GRADE.

352. - WELL, IT'S A GREAT STORY,

353. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR THAT STORY.

354. HOW ARE YOU GONNA CONVEY THAT ON YOUR BOOK COVER?

355. - I JUST WANT ME ON, LIKE, A BIG HUGE STAGE.

356. I ABSOLUTELY THINK PEOPLE CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM MY STORY.

357. AND I MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE EXPERIENCE

358. THAN OTHER PEOPLE GIVE ME CREDIT FOR.

359. - ALL RIGHT, SO GET BACK TO YOUR MAKEUP

360. AND MAKE A REAL PRETTY COVER.

361. - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.

362. - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

363. - HEY, PANDORA. - HEY.

364. - SO WHAT'S THE TITLE OF YOUR BOOK?

365. - OUT OF THE BOXX.

366. - HELLO!

367. - IT'S ABOUT DISCOVERING MYSELF

368. THROUGH DRESSING UP LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE,

369. AND REALLY KIND OF FINDING YOUR INNER-STRENGTH

370. AND NOT LISTENING TO THAT VOICE

371. THAT SAYS "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

372. THERE IS A COUPLE OF TIMES

373. THAT I— I HAD TRIED TO KILL MYSELF.

374. - OH, HONEY. WAS THERE A TURNING POINT?

375. - THROUGH THEATRE AND DISCOVERING THAT...

376. I KIND OF FELT PEOPLE THAT WERE LIKE ME,

377. AND THAT'S WHEN I DISCOVERED DRAG,

378. AND I STARTED TO COME OUT OF MY SHELL

379. AND BE MORE OPEN AND LIKE MYSELF MORE.

380. - SO YOU CAN HONESTLY SAY "DRAG SAVED MY LIFE."

381. - YES.

382. - I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AS THE FUNNY ONE,

383. THE GOLDIE HAWN OF THE GROUP,

384. AND NOW IT'S INTERESTING,

385. YOU TELL ME THE STORY OF YOUR DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL.

386. IT ADDS DEPTH TO YOUR CHARACTER.

387. - I THINK THAT WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE FUNNY

388. AND A LOT OF COMEDIANS,

389. THERE IS SOME DARKNESS THAT'S THERE,

390. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY USE TO COMBAT THAT,

391. WITH THEIR HUMOUR AND THEIR LAUGHTER.

392. - SURE.

393. - IT'S SUCH A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!

394. I'VE READ ALL YOUR BOOKS.

395. - WHAT'S THE TITLE WE HAVE THERE?

396. - "MEMOIRS OF A GAY-SHA:

397. JUJUBEE'S JOURNEY, AND I'M STILL HERE."

398. - "JUJUBEE'S JOURNEY AND I'M STILL HERE!"

399. - MY TARGET AUDIENCE FOR MY BOOK IS GAY ASIANS.

400. WHEN YOU'RE A GAY ASIAN MALE, THEY DON'T SEE YOU AS THAT.

401. THEY SEE YOU AS A WOMAN

402. WHO WAS BORN INTO THE WRONG BODY.

403. THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT ME.

404. IT BASICALLY STARTS OUT WITH MY CHILDHOOD,

405. THE DISCOVERY OF MY HOMOSEXUALITY—

406. - WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD UP.

407. - I KNOW, RIGHT?

408. - YOUR HOMOSEXUALITY?

409. - I KNOW. GIRL.

410. AND THEN I TOUCH ON, YOU KNOW, LIKE, THE LOSS OF MY FATHER,

411. AND THEN MY MOVE ACROSS AMERICA.

412. - HOW DO YOU SAY "FIERCE" IN LAOTIAN?

413. - I WOULD JUST SAY, "JUJU."

414. "JUJU-AAN."

415. - ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

416. FOR YOUR MAIN CHALLENGE,

417. IN ADDITION TO YOUR BOOK COVER PHOTOSHOOT,

418. YOU'LL BE DOING AN INTERVIEW

419. WITH CELEBRITY JOURNALIST MARC MALKIN.

420. THIS IS A REALLY GREAT TIME

421. FOR YOU TO SHOW OFF YOUR CHARISMA, UNIQUENESS,

422. NERVE, AND TALENT.

423. YOU WILL ALSO BE JUDGED ON YOUR ABILITY

424. TO SEAMLESSLY WORK IN PLUGS FOR YOUR UPCOMING BOOK

425. AS WELL AS THE BERRY ACAI ABSOLUTCOCKTAIL.

426. THE MORE YOU CAN PLUG YOUR BOOK AND THE BERRY ACAI,

427. THE BETTER.

428. NOW, TOMORROW, ON THE MAIN STAGE,

429. OUR SPECIAL GUEST JUDGES WILL BE TWO BEST-SELLING AUTHORS—

430. GIGI LEVANGIE GRAZER...

431. AND THE ONE AND ONLY...

432. JACKIE COLLINS!

433. LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY BITCHES.

434. - JACKIE COLLINS.

435. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

436. SHE... EMBODIES WHAT A DIVA IS!

437. - AND TO QUOTE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUTHORS—

438. DON'T FUCK IT UP.

439. - THE MAIN CHALLENGE TODAY

440. IS TO TAKE PHOTOS

441. FOR THE COVER OF OUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY

442. AND DO AN INTERVIEW.

443. - I'M IDRIS.

444. - TYRA. - NICE TO MEET YOU.

445. - TONY. - HI, NICE TO MEET YOU.

446. - WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO TODAY?

447. - WELL, THE TITLE OF MY BOOK IS THE WOMAN IN ME.

448. - THEY'RE IN CHARGE.

449. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DIRECT US AND TELL US THEIR VISION.

450. - IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT A DRESS, YOU KNOW,

451. OR HOW THE GIRL LOOKS.

452. THEY'VE GOT TO COMMIT TO THEIR CONCEPT.

453. - THE CONCEPT IS, THREE PICTURES OF ME.

454. ME HOLDING ONTO THE PAST,

455. ACCEPTING THE PRESENT,

456. AND LOOKING TOWARDS THE FUTURE.

457. - I DON'T KNOW HOW THE OTHER GIRLS ARE AT PHOTOS,

458. BUT I'M VERY PHOTOGENIC.

459. - YOU'RE MELTING UNDER THESE LIGHTS.

460. - IT WAS BURNING HOT.

461. ALL MY MAKEUP STARTED SWEATING OFF.

462. I WAS LIKE, "OH, SHIT."

463. - 30 SECONDS!

464. - TYRA'S JUST— SHE WAS MELTING.

465. IF SHE WERE DOING A WORKOUT BOOK,

466. WHERE YOU HAD TO BE SWEATY,

467. THEN, YEAH, IT WOULD BE GREAT.

468. - I WAS THINKING OF TAKING THE CHEST THAT'S OVER THERE,

469. AND HAVING ME COMING OUT OF IT.

470. - ALL RIGHT, SO THAT'S GOOD STUFF.

471. - I WANT MY BOOK COVER TO BE FUNNY

472. AND MY CONCEPT IS TO HAVE MYSELF COMING OUT OF A BOX.

473. LUST OVER ME, BITCHES!

474. - OKAY.

475. - ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT ARE WE DOING?

476. - ONE HERE, ONE HERE.

477. - JUST THINK ABOUT YOUR TIME.

478. - IF YOU GUYS WANT TO, LIKE, FACE AWAY,

479. AND THEN JUST KIND OF GLANCING OVER AT ME, LIKE, "DAMN."

480. - OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

481. - NOW, HOW DO YOU WANT THEM LOOKING AT YOU?

482. 'CAUSE, RIGHT NOW,

483. THEY'RE KIND OF LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE CRAZY.

484. - NO, LIKE YOU WANT ME.

485. - I CAN'T LOOK AT THE PIT CREW AND DIRECT THEM,

486. 'CAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT THE CAMERA,

487. AND THEY WEREN'T VERY COOPERATIVE.

488. SO FINALLY I WAS JUST LIKE "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."

489. - HELLO.

490. OKAY, I WANT TO BE SITTING AT A YARD SALE, AND—

491. BUT I WANT TO SIT IN THAT PINK CHAIR.

492. - I KNEW MY IDEA FOR MY BOOK COVER.

493. I'M AT A YARD SALE.

494. I'VE GOT TO FIND THIS SHIT AND GET IT TOGETHER.

495. - I WANT THE AWARD, THE RADIO, THE BUST,

496. AND THEN THIS PHONE RIGHT HERE.

497. - HELLO. - HI!

498. - WHAT'S THE IDEA FOR THE BOOK COVER?

499. - I JUST WANT TO LOOK GOOD.

500. - WHATEVER YOU WANT.

501. - LET'S TRY TO WORK THIS SHIT OUT.

502. THAT'S MANNISH, ISN'T IT?

503. - YOU LOOK A LITTLE WIDE.

504. - OOH.

505. - JUJUBEE COULD HAVE USED HER TIME MORE WISELY.

506. SHE HAD EXTRA MINUTES.

507. - YOU KNOW, SHE CAME OUT WITH ONE PROP,

508. A FAN IN HER HAND,

509. AND, HALF THE TIME, THAT FAN WAS ON THE FLOOR.

510. - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?

511. - ABOUT MY DREAMS.

512. - IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE

513. YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE, STARING OFF.

514. SO YOU REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ALL OF YOUR DREAMS

515. AND LET THAT COME OUT.

516. - OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE,

517. 'CAUSE IT LOOKS A LITTLE—

518. - ALL RIGHT, OH, MY GOD.

519. THIS IS NOT MY CHALLENGE.

520. - I LOVE DOING THINGS PERFECT.

521. AND I THINK I LOST THINGS FROM MY HANDS, YOU KNOW?

522. - WHAT WERE YOUR OTHER IDEAS? - HUH?

523. - YOU WANTED TO USE SOME OTHER PROPS?

524. - SHE KIND OF CAME IN DEFEATED.

525. - AND IF YOU COME IN DEFEATED, THEN YOU ARE DEFEATED.

526. THINK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WOULD PERTAIN TO YOUR DREAMS.

527. - CAN I TAKE IT?

528. - YEAH, OF COURSE.

529. YOU CAN TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM HERE.

530. - AH. - THERE YOU GO. BELIEVE IN IT.

531. - I BELIEVE.

532. - WHAT IS THIS?

533. THIS THING IS CAUGHT ONTO MY DRESS

534. AND I CAN'T TAKE MY DRESS OFF.

535. THEY HAVE TO STOP MY TIME.

536. - IMMEDIATELY AFTER PHOTOSHOOT,

537. YOU HAVE LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES TO CHANGE

538. AND GET TO THE INTERVIEW.

539. - JESSICA! - WHAT?

540. - IS IT OKAY IF I PUT ON YOUR CORSET REALLY QUICK?

541. - YEAH.

542. - NOW I HAVE MORE PRESSURE, NOW I HAVE A BIGGER CHALLENGE—

543. TO KNOW THAT I ONLY HAVE SUCH-AND-SUCH AMOUNT OF TIME,

544. AND I NEED TO GET THIS DONE.

545. - THERE WAS A LOT THAT WENT INTO THIS CHALLENGE.

546. TATIANNA DIDN'T CHANGE HER COSTUME AT ALL.

547. SHE WENT STRAIGHT FROM HER PHOTOSHOOT

548. TO HER INTERVIEW.

549. I DIDN'T REALLY SEE AN EFFORT IN THAT.

550. - WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE BOOK, OR ABOUT DRAG LIFE?

551. - THE BOOK,

552. AND THE ALCOHOL IS THE MAIN FOCUS.

553. - THE TWO REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS DURING THE INTERVIEW

554. IS THAT WE HAVE TO PITCH THE BOOK

555. AND THE BERRY ACAI ABSOLUTVODKA.

556. - HOW DO YOU SAY THAT BERRY DRINK, AH-SEE-AH?

557. - BERRY AH-SEE—

558. - IT WAS AH-SEE-AH-EE.

559. - AH-SAY-AH-EE. - AH-SEE-AH-EE?

560. - "AH-SAY-AH-EE..." AH-SEE-AH-EE!

561. - GUYS, IS IT "BERRY ACAI" OR "ACAI BERRY?"

562. - WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN INTERVIEW

563. WITH CELEBRITY REPORTER MARC MALKIN,

564. AND AS I SIT DOWN IN THE SEAT,

565. AND THERE'S JUST A CAMERA IN FRONT OF ME

566. AND THEY START TO PUT THE EARPIECE IN,

567. I REALIZE THIS IS A SATELLITE INTERVIEW.

568. HE'S NOT GOING TO BE HERE.

569. - OH, MY GOD.

570. THERE'S NOBODY HERE?

571. AND HE CAN SEE ME, BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM.

572. - HI, RAVEN. - HI.

573. - WHERE'S THE GUY AT?

574. - WHAT'S GOING ON? - IS THIS VIA SATELLITE?

575. - IT IS SATELLITE.

576. WHY SHOULD YOU WIN RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE?

577. - WELL, FIRST OF ALL,

578. I'M YOUNG, BROKE, AND FABULOUS.

579. MY NEW BOOK IS GOING HIT STORES SOON.

580. - WHAT'S THIS NEW BOOK?

581. - IT'S CALLED YOUNG, BROKE AND FABULOUS.

582. - I HAVE THE FULL PACKAGE.

583. I HAVE PERSONALITY, I HAVE SENSE OF STYLE,

584. AND I HAVE GREAT BIG WHITE TEETH.

585. - WHY ARE YOU BETTER THAN THE OTHER GIRLS?

586. - I'M BETTER BECAUSE I'M JESSICA WILD,

587. AND I'M UNIQUE.

588. - NOW, WITH ALL THESE DRAG QUEENS LIVING TOGETHER—

589. - I LOVE THAT ABSOLUT... ACAI— OH, MY GOD.

590. - SO HOW MANY TIMES HAVE STRAIGHT MEN HIT ON YOU?

591. - EVERY TIME I'VE GONE OUT IN DRAG,

592. I'VE GOTTEN HIT ON BY A STRAIGHT GUY.

593. SOMETIMES I'LL BE LIKE, "BACK IT UP, I'M A DUDE."

594. IF THEY'RE JUST GIVING A COMPLIMENT,

595. I JUST SAY THANK YOU, SO, I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

596. - IT'S SO EXCITING TO BE A PART OF RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE.

597. IT'S ALMOST AS EXCITING AS MY NEW BOOK, OUT OF THE BOXX.

598. - THE BOOK IS CALLED THE WOMAN IN ME.

599. I KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND HOW TO GIVE AND CELEBRATE,

600. LIKE I AM

601. WITH THIS BERRY DRINK FROM ABSOLUT.

602. - I JUST GOT FINISHED WRITING A MEMOIR,

603. AND I CALL IT MEMOIRS OF A GAY-SHA.

604. - WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOUR CANDY?

605. - THERE'S A LOT OF CANDY GOING ON DOWN HERE.

606. IT'S NOT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ASIANS, HONEY.

607. - EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, I'LL HAVE A COCKTAIL.

608. MY DRINK OF CHOICE IS THE BERRY ACAI FROM ABSOLUT.

609. - DO YOU ALWAYS DRINK WHEN YOU'RE DOING MEDIA?

610. - NO, IT'S MY FIRST TIME, BUT I LOVE THAT DRINK.

611. - WHAT KIND OF VODKA IS IT?

612. - BERRY ACAI VODKA.

613. - BERRY ABSOLUT.

614. - BERRY ACAI.

615. - TATIANNA, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

616. - THANK YOU, AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BEVERAGE—

617. - UH, GOOD LUCK. GOTTA GO!

618. - THE ONLY THING I MIGHT HAVE SCREWED UP ON

619. IS NOT MENTIONING THE BOOK.

620. BUT, EVERYTHING ELSE, I FELT LIKE I WAS ON POINT.

621. - JESSICA, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

622. - THANKS, AND I HAVE MY NEW BOOK.

623. - WHAT WAS THAT?

624. THE DREAMS OF A GOLDEN CHILD.

625. - UH, FANTASTIC. THANKS, JESSICA. GOOD LUCK.

626. I LOVE THAT DRINK.

627. - HOLA, HOLA!

628. - HOW YOUR HOOVES BE, JUJUBEE?

629. - HOW'S THE "LEG AND DAIRY?"

630. - YESTERDAY WE HAD TO "READ" EACH OTHER.

631. I ACTUALLY LIKE ALL THE QUEENS THAT ARE HERE,

632. AND TO READ THEM,

633. YOU KIND OF HAVE TO MAKE FUN OF THEM.

634. - I'M SURE EVERYONE'S

635. HAD A LITTLE INKLING OF THEIR FEELINGS HURT.

636. - IF ANYONE WAS OFFENDED, I'M SORRY,

637. BUT I SPOKE THE TRUTH.

638. - I WASN'T OFFENDED.

639. IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF, THEN GO HOME.

640. - IT'S HARD TO TALK SHIT ABOUT... FLAWLESSNESS.

641. - SINCE MORGAN'S BEEN GONE,

642. RAVEN ALL OF A SUDDEN DECIDES

643. THAT SHE WANTS TO BLOSSOM, VERBALLY.

644. - TATIANNA, DID YOU JUST NOT WANT TO DO IT?

645. - NO, I JUST COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING.

646. - THE SPARKLING 30 YEARS THAT SHE'S GOT BEHIND HER,

647. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH THERE THAT SHE JUST CAN'T HOLD IT IN.

648. SHE'S JUST GOT TO SPREAD IT.

649. - LIKE, TATIANNA FROZE AND DIDN'T READ ANYONE, REALLY.

650. DO YOU THINK THEY'RE GONNA LOOK AT HER

651. AND BE, LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON, GIRL?

652. - RAVEN MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO RATTLE MY CAGE.

653. I THINK THAT SHE'S BEEN HOPING THAT I GO,

654. FROM DAY ONE.

655. - HOW DID YOU DO IN YOUR INTERVIEW?

656. - I DID WELL.

657. I DIDN'T DROP MY BOOK.

658. I GOT THE DRINK IN,

659. I JUST COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE BOOK.

660. - TATIANNA'S AN AIRHEAD.

661. SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO LAST WEEK.

662. ALL SHE'S BEEN DOING THE PAST COUPLE WEEKS

663. IS THIS—

664. JUST MY OPINION.

665. - THANK YOU.

666. - HELLO, JUDGES.

667. - HEY, RU!

668. - SANTINO.

669. - HEY, RU. - HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT?

670. - WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT SHOW!

671. - WE ARE.

672. NOW, MERLE, ARE YOU READY

673. TO HEAR FROM OUR BUDDING AUTHORS?

674. - I'M VERY, VERY EXCITED.

675. - GIGI.

676. - HI, RU. - HI, DARLING.

677. NOW, YOUR MOST RECENT NOVEL— QUEEN TAKES KING—

678. MAYBE, AFTER TONIGHT, YOU CAN WRITE A SEQUEL.

679. - QUEEN TAKES QUEEN?

680. - YEAH.

681. - OKAY. I'LL WRITE IT.

682. - DONE. DONE AND DONE.

683. AND MY BUDDY JACKIE COLLINS IS HERE.

684. HI, DARLING. - HI, DARLING.

685. - I LOVE THE TITLE OF YOUR NEW BOOK...

686. POOR LITTLE BITCH GIRL!

687. - THAT'S GREAT!

688. - I SHOULD HAVE DEDICATED IT TO YOU.

689. - YOU SHOULD HAVE!

690. - AND ABSOLUT'SIMAGE CZAR, THE EXCEPTIONAL JEFFREY MORAN.

691. - HELLO, DARLING.

692. - ALL RIGHT.

693. INSPIRED BY MY NEW BOOK,

694. RuPAUL'S GUIDE

695. TO LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF STYLE.

696. THIS WEEK, THE LADIES WERE CHALLENGED

697. TO PITCH US THEIR AUTOBIOGRAPHY,

698. DESIGN A BOOK COVER,

699. AND FIELD QUESTIONS FROM AN ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER.

700. TONIGHT, THEY'RE DRESSED TO THE NINES

701. FOR THEIR BOOK-LAUNCH PARTY.

702. JUDGES, ARE YOU READY TO TAKE A LOOK?

703. - READY. - READY.

704. - GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES...

705. AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN!

706. - TYRA SANCHEZ, THE OTHER TYRA.

707. - THE DRESS THAT I CHOSE WAS VERY SKIN-TIGHT.

708. YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE SHAPE OF MY BODY.

709. - IS JENNIFER LOPEZ MISSING SOMETHING?

710. - SHE IS MISSING SOMETHING, AND SHE'LL NEVER GET IT BACK!

711. - I KNOW THE JUDGES LOOK FORWARD TO ME TRANSFORMING MY LOOK.

712. - OH, YES!

713. STYLE PROPER, SANCHEZ.

714. - NO, SHE DIDN'T.

715. - "POOR LITTLE BITCH GIRL."

716. - I'M GLAD MY BOYFRIEND'S NOT HERE.

717. I WOULD HAVE JUST LOST HIM ON THAT ONE.

718. - JUJUBEE.

719. NOW, GIGI, IS THIS A STARTER-WIFE?

720. - THAT'S THE FINISHER-WIFE!

721. I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD EVER LEAVE THAT!

722. - I ALWAYS MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH EVERY SINGLE JUDGE.

723. IT'S LIKE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF SHADE.

724. IT'S THE "HEY-HEY-HEY!" LOOK.

725. - OH, YES!

726. TATIANNA.

727. OOH, IT'S A JAILBREAK.

728. - YOU KNOW THEY SAY "NEVER WEAR HORIZONTAL STRIPES?"

729. UNLESS YOU'RE TATIANNA.

730. - I'M NOT REALLY SUPER-GLAMMED OUT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS,

731. BUT I'M THINKING I LOOK REALLY GOOD.

732. - PANDORA BOXX.

733. OH! DARLING... YES!

734. SHE'S FULL OF SURPRISES.

735. - I'M GOING ON THE RUNWAY AND I'M THINKING, GLAMOUR,

736. BUT YOU KNOW, THERE'S STILL THAT ELEMENT OF FUN.

737. - IF COURTNEY LOVE LOOKED LIKE A WOMAN—

738. - YES, YES, YES.

739. - JESSICA WILD!

740. - NOW, SHE LOOKS LIKE A HEROINE FROM ONE OF MY BOOKS.

741. - WHICH ONE, JACKIE?

742. - "LUCKY SANTANGELO."

743. - "JESSICA SANTANGELO!"

744. - TODAY IS MY PARTY. I LOVE THAT DRESS.

745. - JESSICA WILD, FROM PUERTO RICO.

746. - RAVEN!

747. AH! DARLING!

748. THAT'S SO NOT RAVEN.

749. - I DECIDED TO GO WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SUPER-GLAM.

750. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE IN GREEK MYTHOLOGY

751. AND THEY SHOULD WRITE A STORY ABOUT ME.

752. - A STAR IS BORN AGAIN.

753. - SHE HAS A POLITICIAN LOVER ON THE SIDE.

754. - DISCO SCANDALOUS!

755. - HELLO, LADIES.

756. MY VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

757. TYRA SANCHEZ.

758. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR BOOK COVER.

759. OH... OKAY.

760. WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

761. - MY PAST— HOW I HELD ONTO IT FOR SO LONG,

762. AND HELD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE.

763. I WAS A VERY, VERY MEAN, ARROGANT BITCH THAT—

764. - AND THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS...?

765. - LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR SATELLITE INTERVIEW,

766. WHERE WE ASKED YOU TO PROMOTE NOT ONLY YOUR BOOK AND YOURSELF,

767. BUT ALSO THE ABSOBERRY ACAI COCKTAIL.

768. - I KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND HOW TO GIVE AND CELEBRATE,

769. LIKE I AM WITH THIS BERRY DRINK FROM ABSOLUT.

770. - YOU DIDN'T INCORPORATE THE "ACAI" PART OF IT.

771. - I RATHER NOT FUCK UP THE LAST ENDING OF THE NAME.

772. - IF YOU'RE GONNA BE PAID BY A CORPORATION,

773. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIGURE OUT HOW TO SAY THE NAME.

774. - I'M NOT THRILLED WITH THE COVER OF THE BOOK.

775. I FELT IT WAS A LITTLE BUSY, BUT I LOVE THE CONCEPT.

776. I WAS VERY HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU TOOK IT SO SERIOUSLY.

777. - JUJUBEE.

778. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR BOOK COVER.

779. JUJUBEE'S JOURNEY, I'M STILL HERE.

780. I JUST WANT TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN GO THROUGH THINGS,

781. TAKE THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY, TURN IT AROUND,

782. AND USE IT TO LIVE.

783. IT'S A LESSON.

784. - LOVE THE TITLE.

785. I'M VERY BIG ON TITLES.

786. MY NEW BOOK IS CALLED POOR LITTLE BITCH GIRL, SO...

787. BUT THAT IS A GREAT TITLE.

788. AND I THINK YOU'LL ATTRACT

789. NOT ONLY A GAY AUDIENCE WITH THAT TITLE,

790. BUT WITH A STRAIGHT AUDIENCE

791. WHO'S INTERESTED IN READING ABOUT YOUR LIFE'S EXPERIENCES,

792. ESPECIALLY COMING FROM AN ASIAN FAMILY.

793. - IT REMINDS US OF A GREAT BOOK ALREADY,

794. SO THAT WAS VERY CLEVER THINKING.

795. - THERE'S A LOT OF CANDY GOING ON DOWN HERE.

796. IT'S NOT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ASIANS, HONEY.

797. - BY THE WAY, I KNOW A NUMBER OF BIG HOLLYWOOD MOGULS

798. WHO'D LIKE TO, UH, TAKE YOU OUT,

799. IF YOU EVER— IF YOU'RE EVER AVAILABLE.

800. - TATIANNA.

801. YOU'RE GIVING THIS NOT "JAILBREAK,"

802. BUT "JAILBAIT" LOOK.

803. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR BOOK COVER.

804. OOH! SUPERSTAR.

805. - MY BOOK IS ABOUT BECOMING A DRAG QUEEN AT 14,

806. DEALING WITH THE BACKLASH FROM THAT,

807. BUT STILL GOING FORWARD,

808. AND NOT LETTING ANYONE STOP ME.

809. - YEAH, WHERE WAS THAT PERSON WHEN YOU WALKED DOWN THE RUNWAY?

810. I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR CONFIDENCE LEVEL.

811. - THIS DRESS.

812. IT COULD BE THREE STRIPES SHORTER.

813. - SHORTER? - YEAH.

814. - OKAY. I'M GIVING UP ON TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

815. WHAT'S SHORT ENOUGH AND WHAT'S LONG ENOUGH,

816. BECAUSE—

817. - IT'S JUST SLIGHTLY TOO LONG

818. AND IT'S STARTING TO KIND OF GIVE

819. A MORE "MORTICIA ADAMS" LOOK TO IT.

820. - STRAIGHT MEN LOVE TO HIT ON ME.

821. EVERY TIME I'VE GONE OUT IN DRAG,

822. I'VE GOTTEN HIT ON BY A STRAIGHT GUY, SO.

823. I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

824. - TATIANNA, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

825. - THANK YOU, AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BEVERAGE.

826. - UNFORTUNATELY, YOU DID NOT MENTION THE NAME OF THE BOOK.

827. MAYBE IT'S FORTUNATE,

828. BECAUSE I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE TITLE OF THE BOOK.

829. "TATI." TATI.

830. BECAUSE, TATI, I MEAN, CAN BE "T-A-T-T-Y."

831. THAT'S AN ENGLISH WORD THAT MEANS "KIND OF NOT GREAT."

832. - IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU SQUEEZE IN THE COCKTAIL,

833. WE MIGHT HAVE HAD A FIGHT IN THE CAR

834. ON THE WAY TO THE NEXT INTERVIEW.

835. - THANKS, TATIANNA.

836. - THANK YOU.

837. - HELLO, PANDORA.

838. - HELLO, RuPAUL.

839. - OH, BOY, YOU GOT TO USE THE PIT CREW.

840. - MY BOOK IS ABOUT

841. HOW DRAG TAUGHT ME TO GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE.

842. - PANDORA, IF YOU'RE WEARING THIS TO BE GLAMOROUS,

843. IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME.

844. - THIS FABRIC IS PLAYING WITH GLAMOUR,

845. BUT PLAYING WITH, LIKE, FUNNY GLAMOUR.

846. - IF YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE A COKE WHORE,

847. TAKE THE JOKE EVEN FURTHER.

848. - WHAT KIND OF VODKA IS IT?

849. - IT'S BERRY ACAI VODKA.

850. - MISSING MY BRAND, THAT WAS TOUGH FOR ME.

851. - PANDORA BOXX, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

852. - I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT MY BOOK,

853. HOW DRAG SAVED MY LIFE,

854. IS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE AND IN STORES.

855. - JESSICA WILD! CAN WE SEE YOUR BOOK?

856. OH, WOW. LOOK AT THAT.

857. - THE COVER LOOKS LIKE

858. THE COVER OF A BOOK

859. LIKE A NINE-YEAR-OLD GIRL WOULD BUY.

860. IT COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SOPHISTICATED.

861. - NOW, WITH ALL THESE DRAG QUEENS LIVING TOG—

862. - I LOVE THAT ABSOLUTACAI,

863. OH, MY GOD.

864. THE NAME IS JESSICA WILD—

865. THE... DREAMS...

866. OF A GOLDEN CHILD.

867. - YOUR INTERVIEW GOT INTO, LIKE, TRAIN-WRECK TERRITORY.

868. - ON THERE, IT SOUNDED LIKE "DREAMS OF A GOLDEN SHOWER."

869. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

870. - NO.

871. - IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A "GOLDEN SHOWER" IS,

872. IT'S VERY NAIVE.

873. HOWEVER... I LIKE THE COVER.

874. IT'S A LITTLE PRETENTIOUS

875. TO HAVE AN OSCAR ON THE FRONT OF IT,

876. BECAUSE, WHO KNOWS.

877. - I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE COVER.

878. I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD USE

879. SOME OF THAT JESSICA WILD IMAGINATION

880. AND MAKE A BIGGER SPLASH WITH THAT COVER.

881. THE INTERVIEW WAS BASICALLY SO BAD

882. THAT I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING.

883. - NOW, JEFFREY, YOU GOT YOUR PRODUCT IN THERE A LOT.

884. - YEAH. IT WAS A LITTLE TOO SLOPPY.

885. I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE FIRED HER IN THE CAR

886. ON THE WAY HOME FROM THAT INTERVIEW.

887. - RAVEN, DARLING...

888. I LOVE YOUR 'FRO.

889. - IT WAS STRAIGHT EARLIER, BUT IT'S SO HUMID BACK THERE.

890. - LET'S SEE YOUR BOOK.

891. OH!

892. - I'VE COME FROM SO MANY BROKEN THINGS.

893. BROKEN FAMILY, BROKEN HOME, BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS.

894. THIS IS SHOWING HOW TO FIND YOUR INNER-STRENGTH.

895. - WHY SHOULD YOU WIN RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE?

896. - WELL, FIRST OF ALL,

897. I'M YOUNG, BROKE, AND FABULOUS.

898. YOUNG, BROKE, AND FABULOUS.

899. YOUNG, BROKE, AND FABULOUS!

900. - WELL, I AM EXTREMELY IMPRESSED.

901. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAID THE TITLE?

902. EVEN I...

903. HAVE TROUBLE—

904. I DO DO IT SOMETIMES,

905. BUT THAT WAS REALLY GREAT.

906. AND YOU DID IT WITH STYLE.

907. YOU BROUGHT IT RIGHT IN,

908. RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE INTERVIEW.

909. I LOVE THAT! GOOD FOR YOU.

910. - YOU'RE SO SULTRY.

911. I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD TEACH ME HOW TO BE MORE OF A WOMAN.

912. - I THINK YOU COULD TEACH ME HOW TO BE MORE OF A WOMAN.

913. - I DON'T THINK SO.

914. - I'M A MAN IN A DRESS!

915. - THANK YOU, LADIES.

916. WHILE YOU ENJOY AN ABSOLUTCOCKTAIL

917. IN THE INTERIOR ILLUSIONS LOUNGE,

918. THE JUDGES AND I WILL DELIBERATE.

919. - LET'S START WITH TYRA SANCHEZ.

920. - I LIKE THE TITLE OF HER BOOK—

921. [DEEP VOICE, LIKE TYRA]: THE WOMAN IN ME.

922. - ONE OF THE BEST DRESSES WE'VE SEEN THIS SEASON.

923. AND I LIKE THE BOOK

924. AND I LIKE THAT SHE REVEALED A LITTLE BIT,

925. BECAUSE WE DON'T SEE A LOT OF VULNERABILITY IN HER.

926. - AH, JUJUBEE.

927. - I THOUGHT SHE WAS DYNAMITE!

928. SHE HAD A FANTASTIC PERSONALITY.

929. SHE CAME ACROSS AS REALLY ALIVE AND BRIGHT,

930. VERY, VERY BRIGHT.

931. I LIKE HER A LOT.

932. - I THINK SHE PROBABLY

933. CROSSED OVER THE GOOD-TASTE LINE,

934. BUT WE COULD HAVE PROBABLY LIVED WITH THAT.

935. - TATIANNA.

936. - IT DID LOOK LIKE SHE WAS PART OF A CHAIN GANG.

937. I'M SORRY, I COULDN'T GET OVER THE DRESS.

938. IT JUST WENT ON AND ON AND ON, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS HIDEOUS.

939. IT LOOKED LIKE "OLIVE OYL."

940. - I DIDN'T PICK UP ANY CONFIDENCE FROM HER WHATSOEVER.

941. - PANDORA BOXX?

942. YOU KNOW, SHE'S BEEN CONSISTENT

943. IN HER ABILITY TO JUST BE A REAL PLAYER,

944. BUT SHE DOESN'T TAKE IT TO THAT NEXT LEVEL.

945. - SHE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL

946. THAT'S JUST STEPPED OFF THE GREYHOBUS

947. AND QUICKLY TURNED INTO A COKE WHORE.

948. - THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BOOK I'D READ...

949. AND JACKIE'S WRITTEN IT!

950. - JESSICA WILD?

951. - TITLE OF THE BOOK WASN'T RIGHT.

952. - I MEAN, SHE WAS HILARIOUS... BUT NOT ON PURPOSE.

953. BUT THIS IS KIND OF A SERIOUS THING,

954. AND IT'S LIKE YOU REALLY HAVE TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE—

955. OR THE DANCE FLOOR, AS IT WERE.

956. - THIS IS BRANDING.

957. CLEARLY JESSICA DID NOT UNDERSTAND

958. THE INTRICACIES OF THAT.

959. RAVEN?

960. - SHE SHOWED THIS GREAT PERSONALITY,

961. AND THE HAIR WAS FANTASTIC, THE DRESS,

962. THE BOOK— YOUNG, BROKE AND FABULOUS...

963. NOT YOUNG, NOT BROKE, BUT FABULOUS.

964. - THERE'S A LACK OF VULNERABILITY, THOUGH,

965. IN RAVEN.

966. - AND THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERSELLING, YOU KNOW,

967. SHE NEEDS TO PRACTICE SOME RESTRAINT.

968. - ALL RIGHT, THEN. SILENCE!

969. BRING BACK THE GIRLS.

970. I HAVE MADE MY DECISION.

971. - WELCOME BACK, LADIES.

972. YOU ARE ALL MY HEROES,

973. AND YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW

974. WHAT IT TOOK

975. FOR EACH OF YOU TO GET HERE TONIGHT,

976. SO, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU ARE... CHAMPIONS.

977. TYRA SANCHEZ.

978. THE NEXT DRAG SUPERSTAR

979. NEEDS TO BE CONSISTENTLY DYNAMIC.

980. YOU'RE SAFE.

981. - THANK YOU.

982. - JUJUBEE.

983. YOU HAD US AT "GAY-SHA."

984. YOU'RE SAFE.

985. - THANK YOU.

986. - TATIANNA.

987. YOU'RE YOUNG AND TALENTED, BUT YOU FUMBLED YOUR INTERVIEW,

988. AND YOU CAME TO THE MAIN STAGE DRESSED LIKE A REFEREE.

989. I'M SORRY, MY DEAR...

990. YOU'RE UP FOR ELIMINATION.

991. - WHEN I FIND OUT THAT I'M IN THE BOTTOM TWO,

992. MY MOUTH GOES COMPLETELY DRY.

993. I'M NOT READY TO GO HOME.

994. - PANDORA BOXX.

995. THE JUDGES WERE NOT ABSOLUT-LYIMPRESSED.

996. YOU'RE SAFE.

997. - THANK YOU.

998. - RAVEN... WHAT CAN I SAY?

999. YOU'RE YOUNG, BROKE AND FABULOUS,

1000. AND YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE.

1001. - CONGRATULATIONS, RAVEN!

1002. - YOU'VE WON A GLAMOROUS SHOPPING SPREE

1003. AT THE LEGENDARY HOUSE OF L.A. EYEWORKS.

1004. - I FINALLY WON A FUCKING CHALLENGE,

1005. AND IT WAS A BIG WIN TO ME.

1006. - JESSICA...

1007. YOU WENT WILD IN YOUR INTERVIEW,

1008. BUT YOUR COVER DID NOT SNATCH ANY TROPHIES

1009. FROM THE JUDGES.

1010. I'M SORRY, MY DEAR, YOU ARE UP FOR ELIMINATION.

1011. - I NEED TO WIN THIS

1012. BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT I DID A BAD JOB

1013. FOR GOING BACK HOME TODAY.

1014. - TWO QUEENS STAND BEFORE ME.

1015. LADIES, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE

1016. TO IMPRESS ME

1017. AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM ELIMINATION.

1018. THE TIME HAS COME

1019. TO LIP-SYNC

1020. FOR YOUR LIFE.

1021. GOOD LUCK, AND DON'T FUCK IT UP.

1022. - I'M WATCHING THEM PERFORM,

1023. AND I SEE JESSICA'S DOING A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH FOR ME.

1024. - THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE.

1025. I HAVE TO WIN THE LIP-SYNC FOR MY LIFE.

1026. - TATIANNA STARTS DOING HER THING,

1027. JUST BEING VERY SENSUAL AND SEXY,

1028. AND IT WAS AMAZING.

1029. - LADIES...

1030. I HAVE MADE MY DECISION.

1031. TATIANNA...

1032. SHANTE, YOU STAY.

1033. - I WAS IN PURE SHOCK.

1034. I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE MISHEARD.

1035. ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME?

1036. - THANK YOU, TATIANNA.

1037. YOU MAY JOIN THE OTHER GIRLS.

1038. - THANK YOU.

1039. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1040. - JESSICA...

1041. FOLLOW YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, MY GOLDEN CHILD.

1042. NOW SASHAY... AWAY.

1043. - THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

1044. - I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.

1045. BEING HERE IS ONE OF MY DREAMS.

1046. I MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

1047. I'M A WINNER.

1048. AMOR, PUERTO RICO!

1049. - AND TO MY FIVE

1050. REMAINING QUEENS...

1051. REMEMBER—

1052. IF YOU CAN'T LOVE YOURSELF,

1053. HOW IN THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE?

1054. CAN I GET A WHOOP-WHOOP?

1055. WHOOP-WHOOP!

1056. - LET THE MUSIC PLAY.