RuPaul's Drag Race 17x5

1. Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

2. You'll be creating commercials inspired by iconic

3. "RuPaul's Drag Race" moments.

4. I'm a little confused.

5. Kori King.

6. I'm not really sure where the storyline was going.

7. Joella.

8. If we're trying to find out where you are,

9. that's a problem.

10. Crystal Envy.

11. This is delicious.

12. Thank you.

13. Onya Nurve.

14. I was just sucked in.

15. It was watching a seasoned professional.

16. Condragulations, you're the winner

17. of this week's challenge.

18. Kori King, shantay, you stay.

19. Joella you have one last chance to Badonka Dunk your way

20. back into the competition.

21. I'm sorry, my dear.

22. Sashay away.

23. Girl.

24. Oh, my God.

25. Girl, chugging in the bucket.

26. Joella was just eliminated.

27. What a day, bitch.

28. What a day.

29. Thank God.

30. Visit me when you come back to LA.

31. Love, J-O-E. Don't forget the 'Ella.

32. - Aw. - We love you, Joella.

33. I guess I have LA on my back now.

34. Joella was my LA sister,

35. and it really hurts to see her go.

36. But she's been in the bottom two weeks in a row.

37. There's only so much CPR you can give before you

38. finally have to let go.

39. I'm not going to lie.

40. I was a little irked being in the bottom,

41. but I feel much better now.

42. And I am galvanized to win.

43. See you later!

44. Bye!

45. We will forget the 'Ella.

46. Kori is very interesting to me

47. because I thought that she would be

48. delivering great comedy.

49. Let's go sit down, ladies.

50. Oh, bitch.

51. So now I'm thinking to myself, what do you do then?

52. It's obviously not looks.

53. Well, now that that was over, Onya, congrats.

54. - Thank you. - Yes, Onya.

55. I feel so good.

56. I'm excited to keep doing better

57. and better and better and better.

58. So you better watch out.

59. Crystal, how do you feel?

60. It obviously sucks to not win when you get like so close.

61. But just to hear the validation from the judges really just

62. like gave me exactly what I needed to go in next week

63. and fucking swamp all you hos, so.

64. So Crystal's pissed.

65. She can lie and smile and ee-ee-eeh all she wants.

66. She is mad.

67. I was gagged that you did not win.

68. Thank you.

69. Just because you were such a like fierce fucking leader.

70. Thank you.

71. And the look is stunned.

72. It's quilted everywhere, baby.

73. I feel like a lot of girls are mad that I won this week.

74. If this was a winning look.

75. Don't read yourself, sister.

76. Yeah, don't read yourself, honey.

77. A lot of the girls were thinking that

78. good drag alone was going to win in this competition.

79. And they're now realizing that they

80. have to have a full package.

81. So be mad, wallahi.

82. Well, nobody was gagged that I didn't win.

83. Arrietty, how do you feel, diva?

84. I was fucking fuming.

85. Yeah.

86. I was so angry.

87. I was like, bitch, I—

88. I'm not. Yep.

89. I don't think I should have been in the bottom.

90. I was surprised to hear that I was outshined

91. by Jewels by the judges.

92. I don't agree with it.

93. Now I'm ready to get out of motherfucking drag.

94. Amen!

95. Let's go.

96. This is like a piranha tank.

97. We all want to win.

98. There is only one piece of meat dangling at the top,

99. and we're all trying to bite for it,

100. but only one bitch gets it.

101. I am a little bitter.

102. I'm not going to lie.

103. That's a reason to be scared of you now,

104. if we weren't scared of you already because of how big

105. and manly you are.

106. Well, y'all can go get a room.

107. Shut up.

108. I feel like the competitive claws are coming out

109. with most of the queens.

110. All I know is I'm about to shoot fire out of my ass

111. next week to be in the top and get that win.

112. This is the Olympics, honey.

113. I'm ready to knock a bitch down

114. just to get to the top.

115. Bitch, I'm ready.

116. It's time to put the pedal to the metal.

117. Girl, rawr.

118. The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

119. receives a one-year supply

120. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

121. and a gag-worthy grand prize of $200,000,

122. courtesy of TodayTix, the theater ticket app.

123. With extra-special guest judge Paul W. Downs.

124. Good morning.

125. Good morn-ting.

126. We're back in the Werk Room.

127. I got my little devil horns on.

128. I'm feeling a little villainous.

129. Ew.

130. Ew to that hair.

131. Dark-cited!

132. She's going through her villain era.

133. I'm ready to be a little crazy.

134. It is a brand new day.

135. It's a brand new week.

136. Who's the piggy of the week?

137. Can we do piggy of the week?

138. You're going to have to explain what that means.

139. Piggy is someone who just, like, is so fierce

140. and they're just eating, eating, eating, eating.

141. Up, up, up, up.

142. When someone is constantly eating

143. and constantly doing a good job, baby, that's piggy.

144. Piggy just eat, eat, eat, eat, eat and eat even more.

145. Yes, piggy.

146. Go, piggy.

147. Yes, piggy.

148. Hello, hello, hello.

149. Let's go, piggies.

150. Let's go, piggies.

151. Good morning, queens.

152. Good morning!

153. For this week's Maxi Challenge,

154. you'll be performing in everybody's favorite

155. sketch comedy show, "RDR Live."

156. I can't lie.

157. I'm a little nervous.

158. I'm not the most skilled with taking

159. words and making them funny.

160. Now, in a few moments, you'll get your sketches.

161. Then you'll choose your parts and start rehearsing.

162. And later today, you'll go live.

163. Oh, shit. That's quick, bitch.

164. As we know, I did do comedy for my talent show performance.

165. It's a lot of pressure,

166. but I'm excited to redeem myself.

167. Now, queens, remember, the key to success

168. is to create a funny, memorable character

169. that makes us hoot the house down boots.

170. - Got it. - Boots.

171. Racers, start your engines.

172. And may the best drag queen win.

173. "RDR Live."

174. I'm so excited!

175. Me, too!

176. It is time to select our roles.

177. I want to make sure that I get a role

178. that's going to make me stand out from the competition.

179. Oh, wow.

180. This is a thick script.

181. The words are wording, honey.

182. I feel like the key to killing this challenge

183. is finding the role that relates to you

184. and figuring out how you can play off of that

185. and make your little moment shine.

186. Oh, my God.

187. I find Miss Rhonda, RuPaul's former babysitter,

188. who is a cigarette mom.

189. And if there is anything I know, it's a cigarette mom.

190. This is so funny.

191. The role that immediately calls out to me

192. is Ruth, the lesbian podcaster.

193. I feel like there's a lesbian secretly

194. deep inside me somewhere.

195. She would definitely be a lipstick, but you know.

196. All righty, then.

197. I think our winner should start from last week.

198. I really like Queen One,

199. who is the mayor and the monologue.

200. That's your number one?

201. Yeah, that's my number one.

202. Anyone fighting for it?

203. I don't hear nothing but crickets.

204. Nobody in the room wants the role.

205. And I'm like, did I just choose the hardest role?

206. I'll take it.

207. - There you go. - Perfect. Mayor.

208. I don't know why she picked this hosting role.

209. Did you not see Mirage?

210. RuPaul is our me— our musical guest,

211. so stick around.

212. Mm-mm.

213. Mm-mm. Mm. Mm.

214. I will be playing the role of News Anchor One,

215. just so everyone knows.

216. - I will take Ruth. - I'll take Connie.

217. Connie, gone.

218. Real quick, I want Rhonda.

219. Doesn't seem like anyone wants Rhonda.

220. Three, two, one. You have Rhonda.

221. Yeah, baby.

222. So some of these girls get their first choice

223. right off the gate.

224. For the cave women.

225. Kori is Ug and Arrietty's Bug?

226. Hell, yeah.

227. So my first choice is Brooke,

228. just because she's the blonde bimbo,

229. and that's exactly what I am.

230. I definitely want Brooke.

231. She's right up my alley.

232. I want Brooke.

233. And I'm not going to back off of Brooke.

234. My first choice is Brooke.

235. She thinks she is the hot commodity,

236. and that's something I can very much do.

237. Neither one of you have a second—

238. - I'm not moving. - You're not moving?

239. - I'm not moving. - I won't move either.

240. I will say I feel like it's expected

241. for Crystal to do Brooke.

242. It's more unexpected for me to do Brooke.

243. We should challenge ourselves to do something not expected.

244. - Ooh. - Crystal, I think

245. you could push yourself farther.

246. You know, it's like a very basic character.

247. - Oh. - I see it for Lana.

248. All right.

249. I'll do Anchor Two because I want to work with my sister.

250. - OK. - So I'll give you Brooke.

251. I'm not playing around anymore.

252. It's about my time to be in the top.

253. I'm tired of being safe.

254. Now we have Ellen, the beaver podcaster,

255. and Gert and Trudy, the "Golden Girls" references.

256. I want to be Trudy.

257. I'm living for Gert.

258. Gert is the Sophia-inspired character from "Golden Girls."

259. She's this 80-year-old sarcastic woman.

260. And I know that I can go really far with that look.

261. So my mind is kind of set on that.

262. I would like Gert.

263. See, I'm living for Gert is the thing.

264. I love Lydia.

265. That's my wife.

266. However, that role is not for you, baby.

267. Hormona already looks like a grandma right now!

268. Gert-gate. Gert-gate.

269. Gert-gate.

270. Oh, my God.

271. Hormona, as much as you love helping people,

272. help me out and give me Gert.

273. That's not fair!

274. The twink has spoken.

275. She pulls a little sympathy card,

276. her little puppy dog eyes.

277. You're all going to help me.

278. Ah!

279. I don't think it's fair that you said I was nice.

280. She can be Gert.

281. Wow.

282. So let's get to work, y'all.

283. The picking process is over.

284. It went painlessly for me, painful for others,

285. and I'm excited to get started.

286. Coming up...

287. Starring Ross Mathews!

288. I think too much.

289. That's too much hit on Ross.

290. Suzie is shutting down every single idea I have.

291. OK.

292. I'm so excited!

293. Me, too.

294. I think we got a winning sketch, ladies.

295. Period.

296. This week's Maxi Challenge is "RDR Live!"

297. OK. OK.

298. First of all, this is a team

299. of collaborative, smart people.

300. This week is going to be so freaking cool.

301. We are doing the QNN News, and my favorite thing

302. is "Weekend Update."

303. Miss Crystal I'm telling you, I'm really glad that you

304. ended up agreeing to do Anchor Two.

305. Yeah, me, too.

306. Our group has a lot of heavy hitters in it,

307. so we're feeling good.

308. We're feeling like the varsity cheerleaders.

309. Do you have any immediate thoughts of like,

310. how you want to tackle Anchor Woman?

311. I think very Michael Che and Colin Jost.

312. It should just be straight up like,

313. we've got the like— the newscaster voice.

314. But also like, you could be

315. the slightly more professional one.

316. And you're like the slutty one.

317. Do you guys like this direction so far?

318. I love it. I love it.

319. I think it's a lot stronger, yeah.

320. She's our acting guru.

321. Acting but also directing and sketch comedy,

322. specifically, is so my world.

323. So this is the team to have.

324. I have had a lot of momentum in this competition.

325. And I want to win.

326. This is a challenge that I know that I am going to succeed at.

327. Am I reading out loud?

328. Yes, we're reading it out loud together.

329. My group is doing the Beaver Lesbian Podcast.

330. And Hormona ends up with the role of Ellen,

331. and she's very disappointed that she didn't get

332. the role that she initially wanted.

333. So, Hormona, how are you feeling right now?

334. I would prefer Gert, because I do like

335. a whole like "Golden Girls" thing back home.

336. But I mean, she does look older than me, Lydia does.

337. So I think it makes sense.

338. That should light a fire under your ass

339. to like do better than her.

340. Yeah!

341. Hormona is flipping me off.

342. All right!

343. I can't with them. Disgusting.

344. Maybe Hormona not getting the part she originally wanted

345. might get her in her head.

346. I already sent Hormona home, and she was saved.

347. So I'm ready for someone else to send her home again.

348. In related news, Rucco Films has greenlit "Buttplug."

349. Do you like the "Buttplug."

350. Yeah, "Buttplug," starring Ross Mathews.

351. Like it's opened up.

352. Like, "Buttplug."

353. Oh, that's funny.

354. You're not in on "Buttplug" being funny, I think, though.

355. Because you're a newscaster.

356. You don't even know that that's funny.

357. Has greenlit "Buttplug," starring Ross Mathews!

358. I think that's too much hit on Ross,

359. because it's about toys.

360. It's based on a popular toy.

361. Hit "Buttplug" hard. - OK.

362. Yeah.

363. As we're progressing, Suzie is

364. shutting down every single idea I have.

365. We should break character a bit.

366. That's why I was trying to laugh throughout it,

367. because that's what Colin Jost always does.

368. Like, halfway through, they start cracking up.

369. I think there's a fine line between breaking character—

370. And genuinely laughing.

371. Because the thing about—

372. The character shouldn't be laughing.

373. Because you're playing Crystal Envy

374. and you're playing Lexi Love,

375. play with grounding it a little more.

376. Because I think the jokes are funny.

377. Every suggestion I have for our anchor characters—

378. no, no, no, no, no.

379. XYZ, that's why that's bad.

380. That's why that's bad.

381. And then end it with like, a-ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

382. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

383. And one of us grabs the other one's neck.

384. Like I don't think we should do like a grabbing,

385. a choke at the end.

386. I think it should be, ha, ha, ha,

387. how much fun we're having.

388. All right.

389. I did.

390. Uh, oh, I—ooh, I'm nervous.

391. I don't think the other teams have this insight

392. into how sketch comedy works.

393. All right, we're the opening scene.

394. We've got to start with a bang, baby.

395. Yes.

396. Thank you for attending this emergency meeting of

397. the Neanderthal City Council.

398. I chose the Mayor and the monologue.

399. I didn't get one role.

400. I got two.

401. It's going to be a challenge for me.

402. But this is a challenge that is up my alley.

403. I'm Ug.

404. I'm Bug.

405. Our families have lived in this community

406. since the day of the primordial oomph.

407. Last week the judges told me that I was

408. eaten up by my scene partner.

409. This week, this moment, I'm not going to get eaten up.

410. Arrietty is swinging big and is giving—

411. I can already tell that the other groups

412. are going to be like whoo-ah!

413. The whole time.

414. It's so wocka-wocka-wocka.

415. I think us, we're very calm.

416. We'll also drag it up a little bit,

417. like not too calm.

418. We're trying to keep our guests, you know, calm.

419. So what is your character like vocally?

420. I feel like it's expected, kind of for you and I both,

421. to go like Southern. - Yeah.

422. I kind of feel like I want to because

423. that's more natural for me. - Do it.

424. I'm not going Southern.

425. Hormona is going to go more Southern.

426. So I'm going to show them something different.

427. It's still has that natural beaver scent.

428. Ellen, get ahold of yourself.

429. Now, Connie, I understand

430. you brought your own beaver here today.

431. Can we see it?

432. How do y'all feel about my...

433. secret lesbian voice?

434. I'm Ruth Leslie Fistenberg.

435. I love it.

436. Sam has chosen to go with this "lesbian voice,"

437. which I think is a bold choice.

438. You're doing, like, Australian.

439. I like that.

440. I think it just came to me.

441. And I think she has to be Australian.

442. Because you're like an adventurer beaver bitch.

443. Yeah, like a beaver girl.

444. Part of me thinks that,

445. you know, saying beaver in the Australian accent

446. is really funny.

447. And so that's literally

448. the only reason why I chose that.

449. Bushy beaver.

450. I think we should all agree on what beaver really means,

451. because obviously, we're not—

452. - We're talking about vaginas. - Talking about vaginas.

453. Duh.

454. I've actually never heard it called a beaver I don't think.

455. - Really? - Yeah.

456. I've heard it called a kitty before, but never a beaver.

457. But beaver don't bite, because beavers got—

458. they got big teeth and they eat wood.

459. It's what's called a beaver,

460. because like a penis could be wood?

461. That's crazy.

462. Reminds me of my wedding night picture

463. at Pacoima in 1955.

464. Doctor, she bumped her head.

465. I'm worried she's not right.

466. I am obsessed with "Golden Girls."

467. I watch it every day.

468. So for Trudy, I feel like I really have the character down.

469. Do you have any ideas for the Pacoima, July 1955 line?

470. Well, so you're not very familiar with "Golden Girls"?

471. I'm not the biggest fan of "Golden Girls,"

472. but this character is this 80-year-old sarcastic woman,

473. which I think is really funny.

474. So, like, when she does like, the, like, Sicily.

475. Picture it, Sicily.

476. Yeah.

477. She always kind of like goes off.

478. It reminds me of my wedding night.

479. Picture it, Pacoima.

480. Reminds me of my wedding night.

481. Picture it.

482. Pacoima, July 1955?

483. I am overhearing Lydia portraying Gert.

484. I still don't see it.

485. She's clearly incompetent.

486. Incompetent?

487. So I just hope that it doesn't

488. bite her in her pancake ass.

489. We'll see.

490. Wah-ha.

491. Coming up...

492. Is this thing on?

493. Bring me my money, Ru-Ru!

494. I'm going to give you a peek at my beaver.

495. Ahem.

496. Is this thing on?

497. Thank you for attending this emergency meeting

498. of the Neanderthal City Council.

499. I'd like to recognize these two Neanderthals

500. from Cave by Mudhole.

501. I'm Ug.

502. I'm Bug.

503. We've got a big problem.

504. A mammoth problem with our new neighbors.

505. There are threats to our Neanderthal way of living.

506. And who are these new neighbors?

507. They are homos.

508. Excuse me?

509. Homo sapiens.

510. Homo sapiens, Homo sapiens, Homo sapiens.

511. There, I said it.

512. These perverts are pushing their unnatural

513. Homo sapien agenda.

514. What are your grievances, exactly?

515. Isn't it obvious?

516. The progressives.

517. For one thing, they stand upright.

518. That's just weird.

519. And their roles are all confused.

520. I'm sorry, but you're either a hunter or a gatherer.

521. Pick a lane, freak!

522. Mm-hmm.

523. And don't get me started on this nonsense about pronouns.

524. He, she, they.

525. I'm sorry, but ooh-uhh-ahh has worked fine since the Ice Age.

526. But worst of all, they're groomers!

527. Well, that's a serious accusation!

528. They brush their hair.

529. They shave their legs and their backs.

530. And hold on, hold on.

531. You holding it? - Uh-huh.

532. They bathe.

533. We need to do something.

534. This could lead to Homo sapien marriage.

535. The council now recognizes the Homo sapien in question.

536. Hey, hey, girl.

537. Put the bass in your walk.

538. Hi, I'm Brooke,

539. and this is my Homo sapien husband, Bruno.

540. He's hot, right?

541. Mm-hmm.

542. Brooke, what do you have to say?

543. Thank you, Judge.

544. I'd like to say we are proud Homo sapiens.

545. We stand upright because we are what?

546. Fierce.

547. And we marry who we want to marry.

548. Because love is more than what it says on some dumb old rock.

549. I've made my decision.

550. These homos are welcome here!

551. OK, fine.

552. But don't expect us to use no fire.

553. That's OK.

554. You'll be extinct soon.

555. And more thing.

556. Live from Tuckahoe, it's "RDR Live"!

557. It's "RDR Live,"

558. featuring the cast of season 17,

559. with musical guest RuPaul

560. and your host, Onya Nurve.

561. Welcome to "RDR Live"!

562. My name is Onya Nurve.

563. Yes.

564. You may recognize me as the queen most likely to win

565. season 17 of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

566. If you're watching, you also know

567. everything about this season is bigger.

568. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

569. The Werk Room, bigger!

570. The main stage, bigger!

571. But the biggest gag of the season

572. has got to be the Badonka Dunk Tank.

573. Mm-hmm.

574. And here's a little secret.

575. That's not water in there.

576. It's 100% vodka.

577. It's also where we wash our pads,

578. but do not tell Michelle.

579. So loosen your corsets, mix yourselves

580. a big old Badonka Dunk cocktail,

581. and get ready for a big show!

582. Hello, I'm Ellen Chickahorn.

583. And I'm Ruth Leslie Fistenberg.

584. And you're listening to...

585. "Women We Like."

586. We're two platonic roommates who enjoy getting inside women.

587. Because figuring out what makes a women tick...

588. Is what makes us talk.

589. Today we are joined by bestselling author and noted

590. beaverologist from the K.D. Lang Wildlife Foundation,

591. it's Miss Connie Lingler.

592. Hello, ladies.

593. I'm so happy to be here.

594. I'm a huge fan.

595. So, Connie, how did you get into beavers?

596. Well, I was 19, vacationing in the woods

597. with my field hockey team

598. when I caught sight of my first beaver.

599. I was so intrigued, so I dove in headfirst.

600. Connie, do you prefer your beavers wild or tamed?

601. Well, I love a great big, bushy beaver.

602. Calm down, Ellen.

603. Don't embarrass yourself.

604. Now, Connie, I understand you brought

605. your own beaver here today.

606. Can we see it?

607. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

608. Of course.

609. Damn!

610. That is one handsome beaver.

611. It still has that natural beaver scent.

612. Ellen, get ahold of yourself.

613. Connie, I read that a beaver can

614. stay submerged underwater for eight minutes

615. without coming up for air.

616. Yes.

617. Going down is one activity beavers like best.

618. Well, I can go down for hours and hours.

619. Fun fact.

620. Beavers are monogamous creatures.

621. They usually move in together one to two days after mating.

622. Sounds like a beaver trap if you ask me.

623. You know where the door is, Ellen.

624. Well, in honor of your visit today,

625. I thought I'd give you a peek at my beaver.

626. My goodness.

627. That is one plump beaver.

628. So I've been told.

629. Enough about your fat beaver, Ellen.

630. My beaver is shaved.

631. Do you like a shaved beaver, Connie?

632. Yeah, I love a shaved beaver.

633. Ruth, you whore.

634. Well, that's all the time we have.

635. Join us next week.

636. We'll be doing a deep dive into pussy willows.

637. Goodbye. - Bye-bye.

638. Do you mind if I pet it?

639. Well, it's not going to pet itself.

640. And now our musical guest, RuPaul.

641. It's Queen News Network

642. with Lexi Love and Crystal Envy.

643. Good evening and welcome to QNN News.

644. I'm Crystal Envy.

645. And I'm Lexi Love.

646. Our top story tonight, Bruno from "Pit Crew"

647. just returned from a one-man mission to Mars.

648. When asked to describe the atmosphere of the planet,

649. he said it was like Crystal Envy's butthole.

650. Red, gassy, and totally uninhabitable.

651. In related news, Carson Kressley.

652. Following Jinkx Monsoon's star turn

653. on the series "Doctor Who,"

654. Lexi Love is joining the cast in the role of

655. Doctor Who Should Go Home Tonight and Why.

656. Last night, pet advocate Patti LuPone

657. opened a revival of "Cats,"

658. featuring a cast of real feral cats.

659. One reviewer said it was a cacophony of screeching,

660. hacking up fur balls, and urinating on stage.

661. And that was just Patti LuPone.

662. In LGBTQ+ news, Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil

663. has announced his retirement.

664. He'll be replaced by his daughter, Shadow,

665. his son, Sonny, and a gay son, Shady Boots.

666. Speaking of shady, RuPaul's moving memoirs,

667. "The House of Hidden Meanings," has went to number one

668. on the "New York Times" best seller list.

669. But a woman who allegedly babysat for RuPaul

670. has something to say about it.

671. Please welcome Miss Rhonda.

672. Hello, hello, hello!

673. Sound familiar?

674. It was me.

675. I was RuPaul's babysitter, and I taught him everything.

676. OK, that's a big claim, Miss Rhonda.

677. All this stuff about drag racing.

678. I taught RuPaul how to drive when he was 5

679. so he could fetch me ciggies and wine coolers.

680. I told him, start your engines, Ru-Ru.

681. Wait, wait, wait.

682. So you're telling me you taught a 5-year-old how to drive?

683. And then I'd have to remind him, don't fuck it up!

684. Next thing I know, it's on a TV show.

685. So you're saying that you're responsible for all

686. of RuPaul's iconic sayings?

687. Ah, ah—I didn't say that.

688. You said that.

689. But I agree with you.

690. OK.

691. Well, I have a list here, right, of other

692. quotes that you claim credit for.

693. First, "house of love."

694. That's the massage parlor where I used to work nights.

695. OK.

696. "Freaky money."

697. That's how they paid me at the massage parlor.

698. "You better work."

699. That's what I used to say to my lazy, no good husband.

700. You can hear me, Frank.

701. I'm talking to you.

702. But here's a story that's not in the book.

703. When Ru-Ru was a teenager, I walked in

704. on him having a private moment

705. with a fistful of lotion.

706. That must have been awkward.

707. Ah, ah, but I didn't judge.

708. I told him, Ru-Ru, baby, if you can't love yourself,

709. how in the hell you going to love somebody else?

710. And next thing I know, it's on a TV show.

711. Well, that's about all the time we have.

712. Thank you, Miss Rhonda.

713. Pay me my money, Ru-Ru!

714. And that's the news.

715. Good night and good tuck.

716. I don't know why we're in the ER, Trudy.

717. I'm perfectly fine.

718. I've had hangovers worse than this.

719. We were in a car accident, Mama.

720. Besides, I heard the doctors here are positively dreamy.

721. Hello, ladies.

722. I'm Dr. Johnson.

723. I heard that you had an accident.

724. It was just a little fender bender.

725. Honestly, I barely felt a thing.

726. Reminds me of my wedding night.

727. Picture it.

728. Pacoima, July 1955.

729. Doctor, she bumped her head.

730. I'm worried she's not right.

731. By the way, are you single?

732. Pay no attention to my daughter.

733. She was an ugly kid who compensated by becoming a slut.

734. Doctor, I told you she's not right.

735. OK, well, can you tell me more about what happened?

736. Well, we were driving.

737. It was sunny, so naturally, I had my top down.

738. I love a convertible.

739. Oh, I wasn't talking about the car.

740. OK, it says here on your intake form

741. that you were rear-ended.

742. Well, just a time or two with my second husband.

743. But I'm willing to give it another go, doctor.

744. OK, well, let me get a little look at your gash.

745. I beg your pardon!

746. Buy me a drink first.

747. Would you like to check my gash, doctor?

748. Sorry, ma'am.

749. I didn't realize that you were injured, too.

750. Oh, I'm not injured,

751. just available and very flexible.

752. Right.

753. Well, I do need to do a physical exam,

754. so if you could, could you please remove your blouse?

755. Anything for science.

756. For heaven's sake, Trudy!

757. This isn't the Playboy Mansion.

758. Well, I have been mistaken for Miss Pamela Anderson.

759. You've been mistaken for Louie Anderson.

760. OK, you know what?

761. You can leave your blouse on.

762. Everything seems to be in order here.

763. I've got just one last thing I have to ask.

764. Gert, how's your head?

765. No complaints.

766. Really?

767. Well, I may have to do a private exam in my office.

768. Well, you're the doctor.

769. Hold my teeth.

770. I won't be needing these.

771. Mama!

772. Uh!

773. Thank you for watching.

774. Good night, everybody!

775. La-da-dee, la-da-da.

776. Mob wife energy, baby.

777. It is elimination day, and someone

778. is hopefully going home today.

779. I'm so excited, you guys.

780. Who will eat?

781. Who is going to eat, eat, eat, eat?

782. Eat, eat, eat!

783. Oink, oink, oink!

784. Are you going to eat, eat, eat today, Lexi?

785. I've got my snout on.

786. I'm ready, Miss Honey!

787. Miss Pig-ums is happy today.

788. My "RDR Live" performance was great.

789. I'm ecstatic. I'm over the moon.

790. The beavers yesterday was so fun.

791. All our jokes landed.

792. I'm feeling confident in my performance.

793. I pushed myself and did a character.

794. I am very proud to have shown off my shaved beaver

795. to all of America.

796. So, how do y'all feeling about the challenge?

797. Sister, I feel good.

798. Yeah, it was funny.

799. I feel really good.

800. I'm so excited.

801. I was definitely like method acting.

802. I was like, I am a ooga-booga.

803. It was really funny.

804. Ugh.

805. The Neanderthal girls are all patting each other on the back.

806. And I think that they've all convinced

807. each other that they are the greatest thing

808. since sliced bread.

809. Wow.

810. We shall see if reality has a different idea for them.

811. Here comes Hormona sauntering over.

812. I feel like you were doing me.

813. She liked my accent.

814. Acacia did really well.

815. Her accent was giving me, honestly,

816. so I'm glad I could inspire her.

817. I loved it.

818. You really did good. - Thank you.

819. You should be proud of yourself.

820. - Thank you. - How do you feel, butthole?

821. I feel great. I feel good.

822. I thought it was pretty good.

823. You did?

824. I think you did a good job. - Thank you.

825. I had a great time.

826. I hope it translates.

827. My sweet, sweet Lydia did not deliver.

828. Ask her.

829. I don't know.

830. If I was her, I might not feel too good about the toys.

831. Bye.

832. It's just funny that everybody

833. feels really good today.

834. That's what's scary.

835. Ain't nobody worried, so there's going

836. to be some face cracks today.

837. It's going to be a gag elimination.

838. Because I know the girls, they be talking.

839. I don't know who qualifies as a kumbaya girl.

840. That is not you, Lana.

841. Who, me?

842. You're not a kumbaya girl.

843. You know the roster of the kumbaya girl?

844. I mean, I came up with it, so I better know.

845. There definitely are some cliques forming,

846. and I have established the kumbaya girls.

847. Lydia and Acacia, Hormona.

848. Suzie Toot is the CEO of the kumbaya committee.

849. Kumbaya girls are the ones that like

850. you have to be like kumbaya for them

851. because they can't like take it.

852. I better not be on that motherfucking club.

853. Bitch, yeah, right.

854. You wish.

855. You're on the anti-kumbaya committee.

856. Yes!

857. Nope, ugly.

858. They don't know how to banter and also they get offended.

859. So you can't really be a drag queen with them.

860. Once they're not here, it's going to be

861. all fight-to-the-death girls.

862. Exac—guns a-blazing.

863. So I want to go round, but I don't want to go sad.

864. We're giving a middle ground between me and Michelle.

865. Michelle has challenged me to change up

866. my gigantic 1920s makeup.

867. You paint yourself very Betty Boop.

868. I know sometimes we get stuck in our ways.

869. Push yourself out, take those risks.

870. I'm excited to show her a softer version

871. of the Suzie face while also literally being a clown.

872. If I'm in the top again this week

873. and Michelle looks me in my shit and goes,

874. "Oh, the witch is back.

875. Oh, we're just doing this again?"

876. I'd be like, ugh.

877. I would have egg on my face just like Kori.

878. Why is my name—

879. I'm doing a clown look today, and I'm very inspired by you.

880. So no Depression eyebrows?

881. No Depression eyebrows.

882. Miss Lexi?

883. Yes.

884. It was so fun seeing you in your executive realness

885. for the news team.

886. Is that something that is close to you?

887. In all seriousness, my day job, like,

888. I kind of like read from a prompter.

889. Really?

890. And I do that all day.

891. I've even said to myself, like, I feel like I'm a newscaster

892. or I could do that really easily

893. after doing the job that I do.

894. So what is the specific job title?

895. I'm assistant vice president trainer.

896. Yes.

897. Come on.

898. Uh-huh, for a financial institution.

899. That is so wild.

900. My Hannah Montana lifestyle is so unique, girl.

901. Everybody's always shocked.

902. I teach bankers how to detect money laundering

903. in their accounts.

904. That is so business professional.

905. It's so business professional.

906. All the people that know me there, they call me he.

907. Really?

908. They call me— they know Cody.

909. They know he.

910. Since I work over the computer, like they don't see me

911. while I'm teaching them.

912. Oh, it's all virtual.

913. Yes.

914. So to have them see this and to see me as a woman, girl,

915. it could actually like finally be

916. the change to make them change.

917. You present as such a confident trans woman

918. that I did not know that so much of your life

919. was kind of hidden.

920. Honestly, being here is the first time that I've been

921. able to just like fully embrace it.

922. Being able to just like say I'm trans

923. and not even worry about hiding it, I feel so free.

924. You're inspiring so many trans women out there.

925. I just commend you so much for that.

926. That's so amazing.

927. I really appreciate that, sis.

928. I know a business professional.

929. I have a 401[k], Miss Honey.

930. Yes to 401[k].

931. - Miss 401[k]. - Miss 401-slay.

932. Whoo!

933. Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

934. She puts the broad in "Broad City."

935. It's Michelle Visage.

936. Ru, you know I'm very sensitive about my shoulders.

937. I was actually talking about your feet.

938. Speaking of hacks, it's the hilarious Ross Mathews.

939. Now, just a clarification.

940. Is Michelle insecure about the size of her shoulders

941. or how hairy they are?

942. Ooh! Both.

943. Understood. Thank you.

944. He's not a doctor, but he played one on "RDR Live."

945. It's Paul W. Downs.

946. Take two and call me in the morning.

947. Is there an anal option?

948. Always, Ru.

949. Always.

950. This week we challenged our sketchy

951. queens to become one-take wonders on "RDR Live."

952. And tonight on the runway, category is "Tickled Pink."

953. Racers, start your engines,

954. and may the best drag queen win.

955. Category is "Tickled Pink."

956. Up first Onya Nurve, now starring in "Mad Maxine,

957. Beyond Thunder Thighs."

958. This outfit is straight out of Cleveland,

959. a head-to-toe fit made entirely out of pink shoes.

960. There is sneakers coming out my legs, child.

961. Sneakers coming up my arm.

962. And I've got this headpiece made also

963. entirely by sneakers, honey.

964. Kori King.

965. You've heard of Paris Hilton?

966. Yes.

967. This is Pacoima Hilton.

968. That's hot.

969. Really big, really clown Barbie

970. is the definition of my drag.

971. Sparkly dress with a fluffy tail,

972. shoes that are pink and high— I am stumbling

973. down the runway, mama.

974. OK, this blonde definitely has more fun.

975. Arrietty, wow, the Folsom Street Fair has really changed.

976. No, it hasn't.

977. I'm all covered in vinyl right now.

978. More is more for Arrietty.

979. Pink, it's not a color that I'm drawn to.

980. It's so out of the box for me.

981. But it does look gorgeous, doesn't it?

982. That is the most severe prolapse we've ever seen.

983. Lana Ja'Rae.

984. She's making every little Jack horny.

985. Yes, she is.

986. I decided to represent this runaway by paying

987. homage to Little Bo Peep.

988. This is a very unique silhouette for Lana,

989. because I've probably never worn

990. this much clothing before.

991. You don't normally get to see this cutesy-ootsy

992. side of Lana.

993. Little Bo Peep has lost her virginity.

994. Hormona Lisa.

995. Paul W Gowns.

996. I usually always wear pink.

997. I am known as the bubblegum babe.

998. And just like bubblegum, I'm pink

999. and may turn tasteless if you leave me in your mouth

1000. too long.

1001. Turn, smile.

1002. Nailed it.

1003. Sham Shtar.

1004. Oh, I bet she's seen a cockatoo.

1005. Uh-huh.

1006. This look represents me because I'm

1007. giving you elevated, expensive taste.

1008. I'm known for being a fabulous showgirl.

1009. I couldn't really pick just one shade of pink,

1010. so I decided to do them all.

1011. I always wondered what happened when you

1012. mixed a flamingo with a whore.

1013. Jewels Sparkles, My Fair Hooker.

1014. She's got a lot of bell in her bottom.

1015. Everything about this look is so Jewels.

1016. This is actually repurposed from an old pageant gown.

1017. And I gave it to a friend of mine,

1018. and he turned it into this gorgeous look.

1019. These bell bottoms are just so fun to walk in.

1020. Does anyone still wear a hat?

1021. I do.

1022. - You know Eliza Doolittle? - Uh-huh.

1023. She's Eliza Do-Anything-for-$5.

1024. Crystal Envy.

1025. Oops, my gum's all over me now.

1026. I hope I didn't get any on you.

1027. She's been in some sticky situations.

1028. Yes.

1029. Pink is my favorite color.

1030. I decided to go with a full outfit

1031. made out of silicone, baby.

1032. This is dripping all over me.

1033. And my designer killed it, baby.

1034. Chew on that.

1035. Yeah, well, apparently she's dating Chewbacca.

1036. No. Yes.

1037. Hmm.

1038. Lexi Love.

1039. Representing the New Jersey State bird.

1040. She's a sight for pink eye.

1041. In my mind, this lovely, tickled pink woman

1042. is feeling her fantasy in, like, Aspen.

1043. She's very rich.

1044. It's cold out, and she wants to make sure that

1045. she keeps her tiny little body warm.

1046. I'm sorry.

1047. You've been disqualified.

1048. You're a cheetah.

1049. Beep, beep.

1050. It's Suzie Toot-Toot.

1051. Who's this bozo?

1052. I love clowns.

1053. This look is a 1920s Ziegfeld Follies perspective

1054. on a 17th century harlequin.

1055. It just read as a look that needed to be pink.

1056. And I look adorable.

1057. Why do I want a Jumbo Jack right now?

1058. Lydia "Butthole" Kollins.

1059. She's a grower and a shower.

1060. This week, I am inspired by one of the things that

1061. brought me into this world—

1062. a penis.

1063. This is exactly what Lydia does.

1064. It has a shtick to it.

1065. It is oversized, irreverent, and a little sticky.

1066. If her runway lasts longer than four hours,

1067. please consult her doctor.

1068. Acacia Forgot.

1069. Tail Bozzio.

1070. I'd like to place a Missing Persons report.

1071. This look's very like "Designing Women"

1072. meets '80s punk rock.

1073. I'm going for a very mean CEO,

1074. drinks a martini for breakfast.

1075. She is just a bitch.

1076. Pink owns 51% of this wig.

1077. Coming up...

1078. I've got to commend you on that challenge.

1079. You were so funny.

1080. When you go that hard, sometimes we lose the dialogue.

1081. Welcome, queens.

1082. I've made some decisions.

1083. When I call your name, please step forward.

1084. Kori King,

1085. Lana Ja'Rae,

1086. Jewels Sparkles,

1087. Crystal Envy,

1088. Lexi Love,

1089. Acacia Forgot.

1090. Ladykins, you are safe.

1091. You may leave the stage.

1092. Queens, you represent the tops and bottoms of the week.

1093. Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

1094. Up first, Onya Nurve.

1095. Your padding tonight is exceptional.

1096. Really, the illusion you give us by cutting that corset—

1097. that move, I love, by the way.

1098. My only change for this?

1099. You need hair.

1100. A big pink Mohawk would have been hot.

1101. I thought your scene work in the Neanderthal scene

1102. was great.

1103. Your facial reactions were really good,

1104. so you were bringing something even

1105. when there wasn't dialogue.

1106. The monologue is really hard, because you're

1107. not doing a character as much.

1108. It's more you, and you have a lot of charisma.

1109. I think you're really, really fun to watch.

1110. And who do you pattern your sense of humor after?

1111. For hosting, I like the Jennifer Lawrence type of vibe

1112. where it's like this crazy Black lady,

1113. but she's also very genuine.

1114. You mean Jenifer Lewis?

1115. Jenifer Lewis, sorry!

1116. Fuck.

1117. My bad, my bad.

1118. Up next, Arrietty.

1119. This is such a dynamic, show-stopping outfit.

1120. I love that there's some whimsy in this.

1121. It's naughty, gorgeous.

1122. Let's talk about the performance.

1123. I appreciated that you really swung big for this.

1124. The issue is going 100%, 100% of the time.

1125. When big swings connect, they're great.

1126. But also you run the risk of missing.

1127. I think what we were mapping in that sketch was

1128. two conservative Karen-types, and I was kind of

1129. missing a little bit of what the point of view was.

1130. And when you go that hard, sometimes we lose the dialogue.

1131. Up next, Hormona Lisa.

1132. Tonight, you understood the assignment.

1133. That hair is gorgeous on you.

1134. It's all really beautiful.

1135. I smiled from the second that you started speaking

1136. in your sketch until the end.

1137. I have to say, for me were the star of that sketch.

1138. My only critique, if I were to have any,

1139. is, I think, for a sight gag like the Beavers,

1140. maybe taking it out of your lap, you know?

1141. Just to make it seem like there's a misdirect of,

1142. we're going to have something not safe for work.

1143. But otherwise I thought that you really shined.

1144. That was not my first role that I wanted.

1145. I did originally want Gert.

1146. But I was really happy with where I got put with this role.

1147. Well, wonderful tonight.

1148. Wonderful job. Thank you.

1149. Thank you so much.

1150. Up next, Sham Shtar.

1151. Let's talk about your Beaverologist podcast.

1152. My beaver is shaved.

1153. I'm not quite sure why you chose to have

1154. the voice that you chose.

1155. It was very jarring, and it just was kind of flat.

1156. One thing that could have potentially helped

1157. is sometimes agreement is actually a real asset

1158. in a comedy sketch like that.

1159. So if you have a scene partner who's doing

1160. something that's Southern,

1161. you know, you might want to try that on.

1162. You have a natural Southern accent.

1163. Right.

1164. Walk me through your choice.

1165. Basically, since she was going for the Southern, I said,

1166. yeah, let's play opposite a little bit.

1167. And I'm sad that it didn't land.

1168. But you know what?

1169. I learned that lesson, and it won't happen again.

1170. The challenge was a hiccup.

1171. The runway is a standout.

1172. Thank you.

1173. Beep, beep.

1174. Suzie Toot-Toot.

1175. I don't know if you know this,

1176. but you're dressed as a clown.

1177. What?

1178. The makeup tonight is so pretty.

1179. It's fun.

1180. It was performative.

1181. It was drag.

1182. You have managed to find this little sweet spot that

1183. is very fashionable, even though

1184. you're dressed like a clown.

1185. I've got to commend you on that challenge.

1186. You were so funny.

1187. Start your engines, Ru-Ru.

1188. Everything about it was really well-embodied.

1189. There was no meat left on the bone.

1190. You found every punchline.

1191. Do you have a background in theater?

1192. Yeah, well, it started at a summer camp

1193. in the Poconos Mountains.

1194. Aww.

1195. I was in "Fiddler on the Roof"

1196. at 8 years old.

1197. It's my life.

1198. It's my blood.

1199. Well, it surely paid off.

1200. Thank you so much.

1201. Up next, Lydia "Butthole" Kollins.

1202. Oh, Lydia, you're such a dick.

1203. I know.

1204. Here's the thing.

1205. We all know who these characters are.

1206. I beg your pardon.

1207. There's so much you could have done,

1208. and you really needed to hammer the sarcasm.

1209. I didn't buy the doctor.

1210. So that wasn't helping.

1211. But you were playing sort of the straight man.

1212. What's tricky about that is finding

1213. the way to deliver those sort of set-up lines

1214. in a way that are also funny.

1215. You must have a twisted sense of humor.

1216. Look at you.

1217. Who came up with this outfit?

1218. Me.

1219. I made it all.

1220. And where did you get the idea?

1221. I love penis.

1222. All right, Lydia "Butthole" Kollins.

1223. Thank you.

1224. Thank you, Ru.

1225. Thank you, queens.

1226. I think we've heard enough.

1227. While you untuck backstage,

1228. the judges and I will deliberate.

1229. Just between us squirrel friends,

1230. what do you think?

1231. Starting with Onya Nurve.

1232. She's just so watchable.

1233. You know, she's got a lot of charisma.

1234. Her delivery was so good.

1235. I thought her confidence was palpable.

1236. That's the word, confidence, right?

1237. I cannot wait to see what she does next.

1238. Arrietty.

1239. She absolutely missed the mark with this character.

1240. She's sort of like a puppy, who's just so excited

1241. and wants to do well, but her tail's knocking stuff over,

1242. you know?

1243. However, on the runway, this look

1244. was so explosive, so Arrietty,

1245. and I thought that was spectacular.

1246. Hormona Lisa.

1247. There was such an ease with her performance today.

1248. She has a wink.

1249. She's got some kind of wink to the audience.

1250. And it's really fun to watch.

1251. She made me want to try beaver.

1252. Really?

1253. Well, you should try it with a peanut sauce.

1254. It's delicious. - There you go.

1255. Sam Star.

1256. She was trying to be the kind of butch

1257. to, you know, Hormona's femme,

1258. but it wasn't butch enough to be butch.

1259. Not butch enough to be butch?

1260. Michelle, I'm right here.

1261. I'm sorry, Ross.

1262. I do think because it wasn't landing,

1263. it just felt a little wooden, and there wasn't

1264. a lot to do with it. - All right.

1265. Suzie Toot.

1266. I thought Suzie Toot was fantastic.

1267. To do RuPaul-isms— because it could go bad—

1268. and she just elevated it.

1269. She did a great job tonight.

1270. She was funny.

1271. She brought stuff to the scene.

1272. Lydia "Butthole" Kollins.

1273. Did you guys notice that outfit

1274. sort of looked like a penis?

1275. What?

1276. She read the room.

1277. She knew we would like that, but then

1278. she shafted us in the challenge.

1279. This role is iconic.

1280. You need to be able to deliver what

1281. that role should have been.

1282. In a weird way, she might have fucked herself.

1283. Silence.

1284. I've made my decision.

1285. Bring back my girls.

1286. Welcome back, queens.

1287. I've made some decisions.

1288. Onya Nurve, this week

1289. you were absolutely pre-hysterical.

1290. Hormona Lisa, you made us Beaver believers.

1291. Suzie Toot, you clowned the house down.

1292. Suzie Toot, condragulations.

1293. You're the winner of this week's challenge.

1294. And you've won a cash tip of $5,000.

1295. Thank you. Thank you so much.

1296. Piggy of the week, Suzie Toot.

1297. Onya, Hormona—you are safe.

1298. Thank you.

1299. I am the first queen to have two challenge wins.

1300. Take that, motherfucker.

1301. Arrietty, this week you slayed the runway,

1302. but your comedy skills were a bit primitive.

1303. Sam Star, your runway tickled us,

1304. but your sketch lacked laughs.

1305. Lydia "Butthole" Kollins, on the runway, you were ballsy.

1306. But in the sketch, you were a sad sack.

1307. Sam Star, you are safe.

1308. Thank you.

1309. You may join the other girls.

1310. Arrietty, Lydia, I'm sorry, my dears,

1311. but you are up for elimination.

1312. Seeing Arrietty in the bottom is just so devastating.

1313. That's my sister, and I'm rooting for her.

1314. She can't go home.

1315. I refuse.

1316. My heart is beating so fast.

1317. I know some of the queens want Arrietty to stay over me,

1318. but I know I deserve to stay in this competition.

1319. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

1320. and save yourself from elimination.

1321. The time has come for you

1322. to lip sync for your life.

1323. I am furious.

1324. It's a slap to the face and to my ego.

1325. But I'm ready to lip sync.

1326. Good luck,

1327. and don't fuck it up.

1328. Come on, girls!

1329. Whoo!

1330. I'm rooting for Arrietty

1331. just because that's my Latina.

1332. She's my sister.

1333. Go, Lydia!

1334. I hate to say it, but I think Miss Lydia

1335. is going to take this.

1336. Maybe they should change the song

1337. to "Booger Wonderland."

1338. I'm just trying to boogie as much as I can make

1339. my little white ass boogie.

1340. Queens, I've made my decision.

1341. Lydia "Butthole" Kollins,

1342. shantay, you stay.

1343. Oh, my God.

1344. Thank you.

1345. You may join the other girls.

1346. Thank you.

1347. I am so overwhelmed.

1348. I'm scared to look at the other queens

1349. because I just sent home their best friend.

1350. Arrietty, my dear, you have one

1351. last chance to Badonka Dunk your way

1352. back into the competition.

1353. Are you feeling lucky?

1354. Yes.

1355. We need a human sacrifice.

1356. Oh, hi, Michelle.

1357. Arrietty, before you are seven levers.

1358. One of these levers will drop Michelle into the Badonka Dunk

1359. Tank, presented by Las Vegas.

1360. Arrietty, pull a lever.

1361. I've worked so hard.

1362. And drag is my world.

1363. This is my last chance to stay.

1364. I need this to work.

1365. Oh, my God!

1366. Yes!

1367. Damn, damn, damn!

1368. We gotta keep another bitch!

1369. Shit.

1370. Arrietty, you are free to slay another day!

1371. Oh, my God.

1372. Ah! We are so back.

1373. Arrietty did it. Yes, bitch.

1374. You did it, bitch. Yes!

1375. And you've also won a trip to the entertainment

1376. capital of the world, Las Vegas,

1377. because Vegas is good for you.

1378. And when you're there, bet on 17.

1379. Yes, I will.

1380. And now let's close the Badonka Dunk book

1381. because that chapter is over.

1382. Condragulations, queens.

1383. And remember, if you can't love yourself,

1384. how the hell are you going to love somebody else?

1385. Can I get an amen up in here?

1386. Amen!

1387. Let the music play.

1388. Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

1389. We're throwing the Let's Get

1390. See Sickening Ball!

1391. You need to upcycle marine debris

1392. into high-fashion couture.

1393. OK, who ruined my outfit?

1394. What?

1395. We have a limited amount of time

1396. to create these looks,

1397. and now she's having to start all over again.

1398. I don't care how you struggled in the Werk Room.

1399. Don't bring it to the stage.