RuPaul's Drag Race 17x10

1. Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

2. Each of you needs to create an original outfit

3. inspired by Betsey Johnson.

4. Hello, ladies!

5. Kori King.

6. I would have really garbaged that dress up.

7. Lydia Butthole Kollins.

8. There's just a few things that are off

9. on the fit about this.

10. Lexi Love.

11. This is absolutely fantastic.

12. Well done.

13. Jewels Sparkles.

14. That is the collection.

15. Condragulations.

16. You are the winner of this week's challenge.

17. Oh, my God.

18. Lydia Butthole Kollins,

19. shantay, you stay.

20. Kori Scott King, sashay away.

21. Ugh.

22. Child.

23. That was so blegh.

24. It is "Romeo and Juliet" up in here.

25. Lydia and Kori, two star-crossed lovers,

26. lip synced against each other to "Kiss Me Deadly,"

27. and Lydia kissed her deadly.

28. This is a Shakespearean tragedy, and I love it.

29. Oh, my God.

30. It says good night, kingdom.

31. - Aw. - Aw.

32. I think this is the least amount

33. of words Kori has ever said. - Girl, I know.

34. I said, that's all?

35. But it looks a little incomplete.

36. I'm going to just—

37. Aw.

38. How do you feel right now?

39. I feel so happy to be here.

40. I am really sad that Kori is not going to be here.

41. I could not even look at Ru or the judges in the eyes

42. when she was, like, announcing who stayed.

43. Bitch, it was you or her, so.

44. Yeah.

45. I'm glad it was me.

46. But I'm sorry, Kori.

47. Bye, Kori.

48. Bye, Kori!

49. I am trying my absolute hardest

50. to not let this get to me, but there was

51. something special about what Kori and I

52. were doing here together.

53. It feels great to have survived,

54. but there's a deep sadness running through my body

55. right now.

56. Congratulations to Jewels!

57. Congratulations, Jewelsy!

58. I got my first win.

59. I feel like I can finally see the finish line,

60. when before it was just a blurry vision.

61. And it was a slow burn, but bitch, Jewels is here.

62. And she's here to sparkle.

63. How do you feel, Lexi?

64. Lexi, are you OK?

65. Hey, Jewels.

66. You look amazing.

67. So I get it.

68. Please don't take any of my energy

69. as anything trying to take it away from you.

70. Just you know me and my inner saboteur, honey.

71. I am my own biggest enemy, and I just am

72. beating myself up.

73. I feel like the blushing bride that definitely

74. was left at the altar.

75. I won talent show.

76. Now I have not won anything else yet though.

77. I love this look.

78. For me, this is not a bottom two look.

79. I do think there were other looks that possibly could have

80. taken my place in the bottom.

81. - Like who? - You.

82. Me?

83. Girl, what?

84. Are you that delusional?

85. I mean, it is a bra and a skirt, but.

86. But it's well done.

87. It is a very tailored bra and skirt.

88. And it looks like you skinned a dead cat.

89. Oh. Thank you.

90. She did.

91. What are the statistics at this point?

92. We have three girls with two wins: Onya, Sam, and I.

93. And three with one win.

94. Arrietty, Lexi, and Jewels.

95. And Lana and Lydia are having a great time, right?

96. Baby, all you can do is laugh.

97. And take your drag off.

98. - Period, bitch! - Right?

99. Come on!

100. Let's get out of this drag.

101. Lydia, I cannot believe you said I was

102. going to be in the bottom. - It's just a little—

103. Are you crazy?

104. It's just a little— it's a little basic for me.

105. It's a little basic. I'm sorry I told you.

106. Bitch, that's why...

107. I'm just gonna hold my comment.

108. For the girls who haven't won anything yet...

109. I hate when they compare wins.

110. It makes me feel left out.

111. I've been nice the entire time.

112. I've been a sister. - Yeah.

113. Don't make me be a brother. Because I can.

114. Oh.

115. The girls are finally realizing that this competition

116. is a competition.

117. It is now time to show what you got.

118. And if you're not gonna show it...

119. You can join your friends.

120. The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

121. receives a one-year supply

122. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

123. and a gag-worthy grand prize of $200,000,

124. courtesy of TodayTix, the theater ticket app.

125. With extra-special guest judge Whitney Cummings.

126. Good morning, kingdom.

127. - We're back. - Good morning.

128. We ready.

129. Bah, bah, bah, bah!

130. And goodbye, kingdom.

131. New week, no Kori to distract me at this point.

132. So whatever this next challenge is,

133. I need to swing big and knock it out of the park.

134. Hello, hello, hello.

135. No way!

136. - How are you all doing? - Good.

137. Pretty good, actually.

138. Good.

139. Is anyone going to ask me how I'm doing?

140. How are you doing?

141. How are you, Michelle?

142. Well, to be honest, I'm sad.

143. And I think I know why.

144. Oh. Why?

145. Tell us.

146. I'm missing a major player that

147. left too early this season.

148. Oh, God.

149. Is someone coming back?

150. For the first time in "Drag Race" herstory,

151. we're bringing back

152. the Badonka Dunk tank.

153. Oh!

154. I thought I'd finished with that bitch.

155. And now she's back?

156. I suggest that you take off

157. anything that you don't want to get wet

158. and meet me on the main stage in five minutes.

159. And go!

160. Yeah!

161. Oh, my!

162. Oh, my gosh.

163. Queens!

164. Give a warm "Drag Race" welcome to "Entertainment Weekly"

165. Senior Writer Joey Nolfi.

166. Hi, Joey!

167. Hello, queens.

168. For today's revenge—

169. oop!

170. I mean Mini Challenge—

171. Oh, God.

172. You'll each take a seat atop the Badonka Dunk tank.

173. Joey and I will ask you a series of questions.

174. If you answer correctly, you'll stay dry.

175. If not, you get dunked.

176. Oh, man.

177. That's crazy.

178. Oh, lord.

179. Do you know how much product I have to use to get

180. my hair to look like this?

181. Bitch, I do not want to wet my hair right now.

182. Lydia Butthole Kollins, you are first.

183. Hi, Bruno.

184. Oh, thanks.

185. Ah!

186. Ooh!

187. The hand on the back?

188. Girl, Kori's going to be mad.

189. Oh, I bet.

190. OK, first question.

191. Lydia, what's your favorite color?

192. Blue.

193. Wrong. It's red.

194. I'm going to piss in this tank

195. and make these bitches drink it.

196. Jewels, what's your favorite body part?

197. Penis.

198. Wrong.

199. It's your uvula.

200. Look at her.

201. Who is your favorite "Drag Race" judge?

202. Michelle Visage.

203. Brown nose.

204. Ooh!

205. Everyone's getting dunked left and right.

206. Oh, no!

207. Dropping like flies.

208. Arrietty.

209. Hello.

210. This may be the sweetest revenge of all.

211. No, show me mercy.

212. Are you a top?

213. Ooh.

214. Or are you a bottom?

215. I'm a bottom.

216. Ooh, wait.

217. Hold on.

218. She's definitely a bottom bitch.

219. Yeah.

220. She's a bottom!

221. Queens!

222. The winner of today's mini challenge is—

223. Hey.

224. Where did Joey go?

225. Michelle! I'm up here.

226. Help!

227. Oh, my God.

228. This one's for you, Hormona.

229. Yeah!

230. Go to EW.com/DragRace to hear my exclusive

231. interview with Joey Nolfi.

232. Oh, yes.

233. Queens.

234. The love language of drag is shade.

235. Yes.

236. That is right.

237. So for this week's Maxi Challenge,

238. we're throwing the first ever

239. Villains Roast.

240. I drop punch lines on these hoes all day.

241. I feel like—

242. God, I keep saying this, but I feel like

243. this is going to be my week.

244. You will pay a comedy tribute to three

245. of the shadiest Queens in Drag Race history,

246. Mistress Isabelle Brooks...

247. Kandy Muse...

248. - Lordy. - Absolutely.

249. And Plane Jane.

250. Oh, my God!

251. Later today, you'll workshop your material with me

252. and the irrepressible Whitney Cummings.

253. Shit.

254. Yes!

255. Jewels Sparkles.

256. You won last week's Maxi Challenge,

257. so you get to assign the order of the roast.

258. I love you, Jewels.

259. It's on, bitch.

260. Ooh.

261. Racers, start your engines.

262. And may the best drag queen win.

263. Let's get this roast a-cookin'.

264. Yes.

265. Jewels has the "honor" of giving us

266. the order for the roast.

267. And she could try and please everyone or be strategic.

268. So as a pageant bitch, I'm hoping she's strategic

269. and sets these bitches up.

270. I would like to hear from each of you what place you want

271. and why.

272. We'll start with Lexi.

273. I would like last place, please.

274. I would like to wrap this shit up.

275. I want to win.

276. Lydia, what place would you like?

277. Well—

278. Or is there anyone you don't want to go

279. behind or go in front of?

280. Like, what's the tea with that?

281. I mean, I don't want to go behind, like,

282. someone like Suzie.

283. OK.

284. Sam?

285. I would like to go earlier in the roast.

286. Not after Suzie, or Onya, or Lexi.

287. But I am comfortable going after Arrietty, Lana, or Lydia.

288. Lana, where do you want to go?

289. - Probably, like, third. - OK.

290. Suzie?

291. I would like to go first or last.

292. OK. Arrietty?

293. I mean, roasts aren't my thing.

294. So I think I would like the middle, so fourth.

295. Onya?

296. I would like to go second or third.

297. OK.

298. While the judges deliberate, y'all can sit here

299. and, you know, do your thing, and I will—

300. - Oh, wow. - I will go deliberate.

301. - That's how we're doing this? - Yes, absolutely.

302. I'm definitely considering all acting challenges,

303. comedy challenges, and the reading challenge.

304. Hmm.

305. I'm not a big roaster, so I want

306. to look as perfect as I can.

307. Ooh, this is tough.

308. Lana and Lydia don't have a win.

309. I don't want to put them in a tough position

310. because that would just be mean.

311. OK, I think I've come up with my plan.

312. I think this is a very fair, diplomatic bitch.

313. I feel like the Robin Hood of drag.

314. Going first and opening the show is Onya.

315. Going second is Arrietty, third is myself,

316. fourth is Lana, fifth is Sam,

317. sixth is Lydia, seventh is Suzie,

318. and eighth is Lexi.

319. You fucking bitch.

320. You set me up with Suzie?

321. What the fuck is happening right now?

322. Lexi wanted to close the show.

323. So— - You shaded me.

324. Out of everybody you shaded, why did you shade me?

325. Well, I didn't want to go—

326. She gave you what you wanted.

327. You wanted last.

328. She put Suzie before me, girl.

329. You got what you wanted, girl.

330. I did give the harder placements

331. to the girls that have wins already

332. and to the girls who've been doing well in this competition.

333. You've got a win now.

334. OK?

335. And I picked the order, bitch.

336. So obviously, I'm going to put myself in the place I want.

337. I'm feeling a little stabbed in the back.

338. I think Jewels wanted to go after me because

339. she knew I was going to do bad.

340. It's shady as hell to me.

341. You put yourself in a sweet spot.

342. Bitch, Arrietty is pissed and Lexi is equally pissed.

343. But this is not "RuPaul's Best Friend Race," OK?

344. I would never do what Jewels did.

345. Like, ever.

346. But if she wants to play the game,

347. then I can play the game too.

348. I'm so excited.

349. Yes.

350. Coming up...

351. How do you think you are perceived?

352. I could run into the issue of being a little too smart.

353. Ain't none of her jokes ever went over my head.

354. Hi.

355. Hello.

356. Come in. Hi, hi, hi.

357. It's time to meet up with our comedy coaches,

358. Michelle Visage and Whitney Cummings.

359. Queens, say hello to Whitney Cummings.

360. Hi, Whitney.

361. Thank you for having me.

362. She is a comedy superstar.

363. She has roasted, she has toasted.

364. They're all like, I thought Joan Rivers was dead.

365. Whitney and I are here to help you

366. work through your approach to this roast.

367. When it comes to roasting, what you're giving someone

368. when you roast them is the gift of them being

369. able to laugh at themselves.

370. That's how we play defense against it

371. coming off kind of mean.

372. Do you want to stop yawning, or?

373. I'm sorry.

374. So sorry.

375. Did the Adderall wear off?

376. It's not because I'm bored or tired.

377. I'm just a yawny girl.

378. I'm sorry, Whitney.

379. Let's start with Onya.

380. Hey!

381. Do you want to try out one of your jokes?

382. Sure.

383. Today, we have the opportunity to roast Juvéderm,

384. Sculptra, and Insulin.

385. Great.

386. Sorry, sorry.

387. I mean, Kandy Muse, Plane Jane,

388. and Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

389. Onya's been killing every comedy challenge.

390. This is "Drag Race," innit?

391. Not Make-A-Wish. - Oh.

392. Great, great.

393. Love it.

394. And Jewels knew if someone strong goes before me,

395. I'm going to look even worse so that she

396. can take the light after me.

397. So it's not a good feeling.

398. Now Arrietty, when I announced the roast challenge,

399. you look like the fear of God had entered your body.

400. Are you scared?

401. Very much.

402. Because I don't really, like, write jokes.

403. I like to come off cute.

404. - Yeah. - Uh-huh.

405. But then when it comes out of my mouth is not cute.

406. - You're a secret cunt. - Exactly.

407. There we go.

408. Exactly.

409. Since you have that bitchy streak—

410. Yeah.

411. - Call upon that. - Yes.

412. OK.

413. I have a lot of work to do.

414. And for someone that doesn't really do this,

415. not enough time.

416. Jewels Sparkles.

417. Hi!

418. What do you think people think about you?

419. I think they think I'm a dumb whore.

420. Oh.

421. And so I'm going to lean into that a little bit.

422. OK.

423. So one of the jokes that I had come up with that's like

424. me misreading something is Mistress,

425. you know, your face is so stamped.

426. You literally—you really let your creativity

427. run wild with your makeup.

428. And that's surprising, because it looks like you hate to run.

429. I think that's funny.

430. Great, great, great.

431. I would get there quicker, but it's still—

432. - Yes. - Funny.

433. OK.

434. So it's more about the delivery.

435. Yes. And then just, like, knowing it

436. so that you can be your whimsical self.

437. There's a whole art to roasting.

438. So I'm going to have to stay up all night to memorize this

439. so that I don't fuck up.

440. - So, Lana... - Yes.

441. You're meeting Whitney for the first time.

442. Tell her who you are.

443. I love to showcase looks and showcase my silly personality.

444. I got zero silly from Lana Ja'Rae.

445. I got beautiful model, but goofy, silly?

446. No.

447. Damn.

448. What is a laugh?

449. It's a surprise.

450. So even better that you have been this stoic statue

451. and then you come out and you're silly.

452. And we're like...

453. Give us that drama of, like, who's this person?

454. I'm ready to see what you got.

455. I said, Mistress calls herself

456. the heavyweight champion.

457. And I have to agree, because the only thing

458. heavier than her weight is

459. my wait for a Maxi Challenge win.

460. Here's what I will say.

461. If you're too self-deprecating, then sometimes

462. they're going to take their cues from you.

463. This is a roast.

464. You better roast, or your ass could be going home.

465. A lot of people tell me I'm funny in the Werk Room,

466. but not when it comes to, like, being on stage

467. and having to be funny.

468. So I hope that I'm able to rework this

469. because one more slip up and they will

470. send my ass out of the door.

471. "Sham Shtar."

472. Ding!

473. You want to tell us a little?

474. Now Miss Ts Madison.

475. We all know you've dabbled in sex work.

476. Bitch, I think you've fucked more rich

477. white men than cryptocurrency.

478. Excellent.

479. Thank you.

480. Lydia Butthole Kollins.

481. How do you think you are perceived?

482. I think I'm sort of, like—

483. Tired?

484. I'm perceived kind of outwardly sweet.

485. I'm considered, like, a kumbaya girl.

486. But I do have all these horrible, evil, disgusting

487. thoughts in my brain.

488. Your drag name is so funny.

489. I just don't buy that that's your drag name

490. and you're not going to knock this out of the park.

491. Right.

492. I have a very cynical and rotted sense of humor.

493. And I'm hopefully going to tap into that inner evil

494. that I have and not hold back one bit.

495. Suzie Toot, meet Whitney Cummings.

496. Hi, Whitney.

497. Hello.

498. We've seen you do some comedy.

499. Mm-hmm.

500. And you won "RDR Live."

501. So does that put some additional pressure on you?

502. I think it does.

503. I'm a little bit cerebral.

504. I think I could run into the issue

505. of being a little too smart.

506. That is some bullshit.

507. Don't let her fool you. The bitch is funny.

508. OK.

509. Ain't none of her jokes ever went over my head.

510. Uh-huh.

511. So it ain't nothing cerebral about it.

512. Oop, OK.

513. She's trying to, like, bring the expectations down

514. so she can exceed it.

515. She's like, I'm cerebral.

516. I'm afraid of going over people's heads.

517. Bitch, please.

518. Onya blew my cover.

519. Yeah, I'm gonna do well.

520. Yeah, I'm good at this.

521. God forbid, huh?

522. And last but certainly not least, Lexi Love.

523. Let's hear what you got.

524. Kandy Muse is such a cunt that she uses

525. Summer's Eve as mouthwash.

526. Kandy Muse, you're such a yeasty cunt that—

527. She could make dough rise.

528. Lexi, you are on your way, my darling.

529. Thank you.

530. The more pressure I have, I mean, the worse

531. I feel like I'm going to do.

532. And I was like, well, since Jewels wants to play the game,

533. let me play too.

534. So I'm taking a few of her jokes.

535. How fun.

536. OK, ladies.

537. We are going to wrap this up.

538. Thank you, Michelle.

539. Thank you, Whitney.

540. Miss Jewels...

541. Karma's a fucking bitch.

542. Coming up...

543. My intention was not to get in your head.

544. Girl.

545. Of course y'all don't feel a type of way

546. because she didn't do it to you.

547. Let a bitch be mad.

548. You have wrecked these bitches.

549. Let's get this roast a-cookin'.

550. Who's hungry?

551. Ready to roast a bitch.

552. It's time for the roast, sweetie.

553. And I'm feeling very confident, especially based on the fact

554. that all of these bitches are upset,

555. and pressed, and bothered about the lineup.

556. I'm like, OK.

557. I'm coming in with positive energy.

558. I'm going to be funny.

559. Are you excited?

560. I'm so excited.

561. I feel like with scripted comedy,

562. it has not been an easy road for me.

563. I beg your pardon?

564. Buy me a drink first.

565. So I'm excited to hopefully redeem myself.

566. Yes, yes.

567. I'm excited to let out my secret evil side.

568. - Yes. - Mwa-hah-hah-hah-hah.

569. Let it out.

570. I was up all night working on my roast.

571. So I think that my delusional confidence

572. today is lent to the fact that I am so tired.

573. The tension is thick, bitch.

574. The tension is tensioning.

575. Mm-hmm.

576. I do not want to be next to Jewels right now.

577. I don't want to argue with her before the roast,

578. because I don't want to be in my head even more.

579. You know I wasn't trying to set you up, right?

580. Hmm?

581. I wasn't trying to set you up.

582. You know that, right?

583. I don't believe that.

584. You putting yourself after me?

585. Now you're literally hoping that I don't do good

586. so that you can do better.

587. So that is something that's irritating me.

588. Don't.

589. OK.

590. Are you moving over to the cool girls?

591. I'm moving to the not-hateful people.

592. I'm sorry, Arrietty.

593. I mean, we are in a competition.

594. So I'm here to play.

595. Yeah.

596. And at this point, I don't give a fuck

597. about anyone's feelings.

598. OK, work.

599. And it honestly gave me a fire in my ass to do better.

600. OK, cool.

601. At the end of the day, all you can do

602. is stab your friend in the back.

603. Wait, did she leave Jewels...

604. Uh-huh.

605. The girls are moving and switching, honey.

606. The girls are moving and switching.

607. Me and Arrietty are completely

608. done fooling with Jewels.

609. Y'all are mad?

610. About to play—

611. "Mad" ain't even the word.

612. That's what you asked for, though.

613. She knows how much you have thrown me off

614. or gotten in my head.

615. From the get go, Suzie is a front runner

616. and I was a front runner.

617. Why is she out-front-running me?

618. This was a setup.

619. Honestly, if you were in her position,

620. would you not set someone up that was competition?

621. The fact that she messed up because I'm not the one.

622. It should have been whoever's been performing best,

623. which would be Suzie.

624. But she did set me up in that

625. she didn't give me what I wanted.

626. You wanted to be last—

627. And she gave you—

628. I feel like she honored— - Oh, no.

629. It was like a trade-off.

630. She punished me for asking for last.

631. - No. - By putting me after—

632. I think she was like—she wanted to—

633. All right, girl.

634. I disagree.

635. Here's the real tea.

636. Where you are placed in the roast

637. does not matter that much.

638. How you personally are affected by where you place in the roast

639. matters a lot.

640. It was a stunt to try and throw me off.

641. I'm not going to be thrown off this time.

642. You're saying, well, that's not gonna work.

643. I'm not gonna get thrown off.

644. It sounds to me like you are currently thrown off.

645. Yeah.

646. Well, we shall see when I do my set.

647. OK, diva.

648. I can't control your inner saboteur.

649. And I can't be the one to blame.

650. You could flip the script in your mind

651. and just say this is an opportunity

652. to outshine one of the biggest players in the game.

653. You're gonna do a great job

654. and you can't let that get in your head.

655. It should be happy, fun.

656. It's the roast day.

657. It's really silly, Lexi.

658. You have to admit that it's silly.

659. $200,000 is not silly.

660. Sam is trying to look out for me,

661. but the roast is over here to me somewhere.

662. And over here, where I really am,

663. is just Suzie Toot and Jewels.

664. And—and I'm just like, oh, my fucking God.

665. Like, I cannot escape this headspace.

666. Ah, fuck.

667. - How are you, baby? - I'm OK.

668. - Are you sure? - Everyone left me.

669. No one wants to sit next to me. - I'm sorry.

670. It's OK. I think it's a little dramatic.

671. I actually consulted in her, and I said, hey,

672. I don't feel really good about this.

673. And then she put herself after me.

674. So that's kind of fucked up in my—in my eyes, you know?

675. That's the whole thing.

676. I consulted her as well, like, weeks ago,

677. about feeling uncomfortable about Suzie,

678. and it was a stunt.

679. I could care less about how Lexi feels right now

680. because I gave that bitch what she asked for.

681. But I care about what Arrietty feels because she's my friend,

682. and I hate that I made her feel this way

683. when that was not the intention.

684. I just want to apologize to you, Arrietty,

685. because, like, you're right.

686. I did put myself after you because I'm not

687. very confident in a roast.

688. So I didn't want to go behind one of the stronger players.

689. So thank you.

690. As a friend, I would never do that to you.

691. So thank you for actually saying that out loud.

692. I would have done it to someone else that wasn't my sister.

693. Damn, so everybody in here ain't your sister?

694. Well, yes, they're all my sisters.

695. But I feel like me and her had a connection.

696. We do have a connection.

697. So that's why I'm more hurt by that.

698. I didn't mean to make you, like,

699. get in your head about this.

700. Well, you did.

701. I am still a little hurt.

702. I mean, I'm fucking human.

703. Girl, but you could cut the tension in the room

704. with a butter knife, honey. - Uh-huh.

705. You know, I hope that when we get to the stage

706. that our energy shifts,

707. because I want this to be a great roast.

708. Shut up.

709. Let a bitch be mad.

710. Of course, y'all don't feel a type of way—

711. Well, listen. OK.

712. Because she didn't do it to you.

713. That's why you don't feel some type of way.

714. OK, yes.

715. That is not good, bitch.

716. - That is not funny. - What?

717. What's funny?

718. - Why are you laughing? - Because.

719. It seems shady.

720. There is no reason why Jewels should be

721. having you, like, spiraling, low key.

722. All I'm gonna say is that my intention

723. was not to get in your head.

724. - Girl. - That was all I—

725. I'm gonna say.

726. You can feel however you want to feel—

727. - Jesus fucking Christ. - Are valid.

728. I was not trying to get in your head.

729. That was not my intention.

730. Girl.

731. And I do think—

732. It's so exhausting.

733. OK.

734. All right.

735. I will leave it at that.

736. That's all I can say.

737. Leave it at that.

738. I will leave it at that.

739. All of a sudden, I am the fucking—

740. the villain of the season, girl.

741. They're gonna roast me next season, bitch.

742. At the end of the day—

743. Shut your ass up, bitch.

744. Miss Paul!

745. Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

746. She's your favorite villain's favorite villain,

747. Michelle Visage.

748. I blame it on the edit.

749. They all do, darling.

750. They all do.

751. The tantalizing Ts Madison.

752. Now, Maddie, would you rather roast or be roasted?

753. Ru, you know I go both ways.

754. See, I'd rather be spit roasted.

755. And the fabulous Whitney Cummings.

756. Thank you for helping our Queens.

757. And thank you for all the free makeup I just stole.

758. They call me Anastasia Woodland Hills.

759. This week, we challenged our queens

760. to dish out the laughs at our first-ever Villains Roast.

761. Racers, start your engines.

762. And may the best drag queen win!

763. Coming up...

764. The cast of "STD The Rusical."

765. Miss Is—Isabelle Brooks.

766. Ooh, I said that wrong.

767. Ahh!

768. Yikes.

769. It's the Villains Roast.

770. Honoring Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

771. Drag delusion, girl.

772. Plane Jane.

773. You look a fool— doo-doo clown mess.

774. And Kandy Muse.

775. If you don't have star quality,

776. get the fuck out of here.

777. Let's welcome our first roaster, Onya Nurve.

778. Oh, hello, hello, hello.

779. Welcome to RuPaul's Villains Roast!

780. I am so honored to be the first queen in "Drag Race"

781. herstory to be roasting our very own Plane Jane,

782. Kandy Muse, and Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

783. You may also recognize them as the cast of "STD The Rusical."

784. Now, Kandy, I'ma start with you.

785. I would consider you

786. the Tasmanian devil of your season,

787. so I'm gonna speak this in a language

788. only me and you can understand.

789. Period!

790. Now, me and Kandy gonna translate that for y'all.

791. Say it with me, Kandy.

792. If you don't have star quality, get the fuck out of here!

793. Jewels, that means you, baby.

794. Ooh.

795. Yes, yes, yes.

796. Now, Plane Jane, I am so sorry that you didn't get a chance

797. to experience this roast moment

798. with your dear sister, Kori King.

799. But I will have you know that

800. she is just as beautifully untalented,

801. rotted, and dumb as you are.

802. And I see exactly where she get it from.

803. And Mistress Isabelle Brooks,

804. thank you so much for being here.

805. I'm sure you had nothing else going on.

806. OK, OK.

807. This next entertainer has the comedic timing

808. of a cancer diagnosis.

809. Wow.

810. Put those hands together

811. and get ready for Arrietty!

812. To be honest, I am shaking in my boots right now.

813. I am so scared of roasting people,

814. but not as much as Plane Jane is scared

815. of emotional intelligence.

816. Or Miss Is—

817. Isabelle Brooks.

818. Ooh, I said that wrong.

819. Ahh!

820. Sound it out, baby.

821. Kandy Muse is afraid of tongue twisters.

822. Or Miss Isabelle Brooks...

823. Is scared of elevator weight limits.

824. Yeah, there we go.

825. There we go.

826. Yikes.

827. Oh, my God.

828. Um...

829. It's hard to watch.

830. She's trying to giggle her way through it.

831. But it's going down.

832. I take it back. I take it back.

833. I'm not gonna make a fat joke about Mistress,

834. because Mistress is already a fat joke.

835. Oh, my God, she stole my joke.

836. Oh, my God.

837. She stole my jokes.

838. If you hate Kandy Muse, you are—

839. or probably are racist.

840. And if you like Kandy Muse, you like bad drag.

841. Plane Jane, I relate to you the most.

842. The only difference between you and I is in my childhood,

843. I played outside with kids and friends.

844. You grew up alone in the dark, sucking on batteries.

845. Did you not?

846. You clocked it, sister.

847. I kind of just want to run up there

848. and put her out of her misery.

849. It's just like you're watching a starving dog

850. and you want to bring it some food.

851. But you're like, mm, maybe we should

852. just shoot it in the head.

853. Arrietty's set is just sad.

854. And in conclusion...

855. Yay!

856. And in conclusion, I honestly don't think

857. you guys are villains.

858. The real villains are the girls that smile to your face

859. and then stab you in the back, just like this next diva.

860. So give it up for the dumbest crackhead I know,

861. Jewels Sparkles.

862. Go get 'em, Jewels.

863. That set was the villain of the season, baby.

864. Go learn the music, baby.

865. Ooh!

866. Arrietty, that fucking bitch.

867. I'm gagged that I'm about to go on stage

868. and this bitch just stole my jokes.

869. Wow.

870. That was very intelligent.

871. OK.

872. Coming up...

873. Plane Jane.

874. Sister, how are you doing tonight?

875. I'm good—

876. Actually, I don't give a fuck.

877. And I thought abortion was illegal in Texas.

878. Not too much.

879. Welcome back to the Villains Roast.

880. Hi, everyone.

881. My name is Jewels Sparkles,

882. and I am so excited to be here at the Villains Roast.

883. Right in front of me, I have three of the biggest

884. villains of all time.

885. And I do mean the biggest villains of all time, bitch.

886. No, no, no. That wasn't a fat joke.

887. I am not gonna make fat jokes today.

888. I think those are just so tired, and overdone,

889. and just plain mean.

890. So before I roast you three fat jokes, let me say—

891. Oh.

892. Jewels is stumbling a little bit because, I mean,

893. I took two of her jokes.

894. Karma is really a bitch, though.

895. "Drag Race" is a massive platform,

896. but not as massive as Kandy Muse's back.

897. "Drag Race" is worldwide now,

898. but not as wide as Kandy Muse's back.

899. Not too much.

900. Well, Plane Jane does remind me of somebody I know.

901. This person and you both struggle

902. in foundation shade matching

903. and is weirdly into Russian hookers.

904. You are the Donald Trump of drag.

905. Well, at least you do have the biggest boobs in drag

906. next to Mistress, out of drag.

907. Speaking of Mistress, I get it.

908. The camera adds 10 pounds.

909. But girl, you did walk in with the first 300.

910. - Oop. - Oh.

911. Ooh.

912. Well, that was my roast.

913. The next queen coming onto the stage is gorgeous.

914. And when it comes to comedy, she's gorgeous.

915. Please welcome Lana Ja'Rae!

916. Wow, Jewels.

917. I could have said it better myself.

918. Gouda evening, everyone.

919. My name is Lana Ja'Rae.

920. Some of you may know me as a model,

921. a nice pair of legs, or as the judges now know me,

922. a disappointment.

923. Mistress is known for being in a lot of eras.

924. You know, she's been in her congenial era,

925. her top four era, but for her doctor's sake,

926. let's all pray she's in her fitness era.

927. Now Plane Jane.

928. Sister, how are you doing tonight?

929. I'm good—

930. Actually, I don't give a fuck.

931. Plane Jane is so white, she's not racist,

932. because she has a Black friend, Kori King.

933. Plane Jane, honestly, I don't have that much material on you,

934. because some of these jokes really just white themselves.

935. Now, Kandy Muse.

936. Her "Drag Race" legacy will be remembered for so many,

937. many year.

938. Kandy muse is so dumb, period.

939. Yes, Lana!

940. You better tell those jokes, Lana!

941. Oh, my sister is killing it.

942. Kandy is known for sitting alone in the VIP,

943. but I actually have a fun fact.

944. She wasn't sitting alone in the VIP—

945. she was saving 10 seats for Ts Madison's ass.

946. Now this next queen, she owns the stage,

947. much like her family owned my ancestors.

948. Oh, my God.

949. Make some noise for the one and only Sam Star!

950. Hello, everyone.

951. Please give it up one more time

952. for my long-time family friend,

953. Miss Lana Ja'Rae.

954. Miss Plane Jane.

955. Plane did introduce herself to the world

956. with her iconic burger finger.

957. And her drag sister, Kori King, introduced herself to the world

958. with her butthole finger.

959. We have the fabulous Kandy Muse.

960. Kandy Muse is so ugly,

961. she don't get asked out on dates.

962. She gets asked out on dares.

963. Why you laughing?

964. And in closing, to my Southern sister,

965. Mistress, all I have to say to you is,

966. bless your heart... disease.

967. One more fat joke, and I'm gonna lose it!

968. Thank you all so much.

969. Give it up for Lydia Butthole Kollins!

970. Thank you, Sam.

971. And thank you, Ru, for bringing us these things.

972. First I want to say hello to the panel, though.

973. Ru, hi.

974. Now that Kori's gone, I am going to need

975. another bald Black man to fill that void.

976. And you do like seeing me in the bottom anyway, so...

977. Also, Whitney Cummings is here.

978. Hello. - Hi.

979. Whitney, I am so sorry

980. that I yawned yesterday during our table read.

981. The truth is, I wasn't tired.

982. You're just really fucking boring.

983. Oh, my—

984. I'm just going to get to our main event, the villains.

985. A couple of these divas know a thing or two

986. about roasting and shredding.

987. Like a pot roast, shredded chicken, roast beef.

988. Mistress, I'm honestly surprised

989. you could be on "Drag Race."

990. Bitch, you're not racing anyone.

991. Oh, boy, Miss Butthole.

992. Did you just bleach it?

993. Look, it's so pretty and funny.

994. Mistress, it is an honor

995. to be here with you.

996. I'm a really, really big fan...

997. is what Mistress would say

998. if she was dressed like an oscillating fan.

999. Moving on, Jenny from the blob.

1000. Kandy Muse.

1001. Jenny from the blob.

1002. Kandy, you were actually raised as a moron.

1003. Oh, no. Sorry, I read that wrong.

1004. As a Mormon.

1005. I heard you left the Mormon church, though,

1006. because you refused to compete with six other women for food.

1007. Plane Jane.

1008. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule

1009. jacking it to Amanda Tori Meating's elimination

1010. to be here with us today.

1011. I've learned a lot about Boston drag

1012. as I've grown very close to Kori King, your sis.

1013. And I actually did bring a little piece of her with me.

1014. To this day, her jizz is still in my stomach.

1015. - Oh, God. - Oh, my God!

1016. Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

1017. Now help me welcome our next queen,

1018. a reincarnated Edith Piaf

1019. trapped in a 24-year-old twink's body,

1020. Suzie Toot.

1021. I was fully expecting

1022. to lift the energy after Lydia,

1023. and I am in a completely different situation.

1024. Let's get on with this roast.

1025. Mistress is the former mother of Sugar and Spice.

1026. And I thought abortion was illegal in Texas.

1027. This would also be the only context in which

1028. Mistress would cut Sugar out of her life.

1029. Kandy Muse fancies herself a television host,

1030. but the only thing she's hosted consistently is parasites.

1031. Now, it's unfair to say that Kandy is just

1032. riddled with STDs, because she's also riddled

1033. with a variety pack of mental illnesses.

1034. Plane, your sister Kori did sashay away last week.

1035. But don't worry.

1036. She carried on your legacy.

1037. She had a great ass, she was hateful,

1038. and she left no other impression.

1039. Damn.

1040. Now, I am not gonna stand up here

1041. and call you old, RuPaul,

1042. because that would just be beating a dead horse,

1043. which, funny enough, is Raven's job description.

1044. That was good, bitch.

1045. That was good, bitch.

1046. And that is my time.

1047. Great job, Suzie.

1048. Now please welcome to the stage

1049. your final entertainer,

1050. a dumb, ugly slut with no friends,

1051. Lexi Love!

1052. Jesus.

1053. Damn.

1054. When Suzie says, "You have no friends,"

1055. I'm thinking, oh, fuck.

1056. Did I—did I turn everybody away from me?

1057. Every word in my brain left.

1058. I—

1059. ahh!

1060. No friends, no family,

1061. but I'm gonna fuck this up, honey.

1062. Whoo!

1063. Thank you, Suzie Toot!

1064. You might be known after this

1065. as the Jinkx Monsoon for Dummies.

1066. On to our three deplorables of the evening.

1067. The only thing more terrifying than these three individuals

1068. is you, RuPaul Bunyan.

1069. Damn.

1070. Yikes.

1071. Kandy Muse has such a rotted cunt mouth,

1072. Donald Trump tried to grab her by it.

1073. - Ah. - Rah.

1074. Allegedly, of course.

1075. - Yeah. - Allegedly.

1076. Plane. Plane Jane.

1077. Plane is actually very attractive.

1078. She looks like Freddie Prinze Jr. outside of drag,

1079. if Freddie Prinze Jr. smoked crystal methamphetamines.

1080. - Oh. - And I would know, honey.

1081. I was an avid frequent flyer for years.

1082. The only thing meaner than Plane Jane

1083. is Kandy Muse's underbite.

1084. Hey!

1085. Let's talk about Mistress Isabella.

1086. Isabelle, babe.

1087. Isabelle.

1088. Sorry, I love to add letters in

1089. like you like to add carbs.

1090. Oh—oh.

1091. I do want to thank everybody for joining us here tonight.

1092. This has been a complete and total waste of my time,

1093. and I'm starting to smell sulfur.

1094. So I'll see you ladies in hell.

1095. Good night.

1096. And now let's hear from our villains.

1097. Now me and the dolls just have some quick words

1098. for the girls.

1099. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

1100. You're going home next.

1101. This was the most excruciating meet and greet

1102. that I've ever been a part of.

1103. You girls truly did the impossible.

1104. Lydia, you made me hate buttholes.

1105. Suzie, you made me hate drag.

1106. Y'all know drag family means a lot to me.

1107. To my two nieces here today,

1108. Miss Lana Ja'Rae,

1109. I'm glad to see you're carrying on

1110. Luxx's fourth placement.

1111. And to Arrietty, at least you've done

1112. better than the water girl.

1113. So, with that being said, let the music play.

1114. Coming up...

1115. Your performance was just amazing.

1116. The minute you fell even just a little bit,

1117. it took you down.

1118. Category is, Who Wears Short Shorts?

1119. Up first, Onya Nurve.

1120. Whoo!

1121. Girl, she got a wedgie.

1122. Imagine a big old pair of shorts

1123. and it can go all the way up to your titties

1124. to give you the most ultimate wedgie, baby.

1125. But make it fashion.

1126. The zipper comes down and you can see my cha-chas, honey.

1127. She puts the "ass" in "acid wash."

1128. Arrietty.

1129. Ooh.

1130. Heavy is the tuck that wears the crown.

1131. Have y'all ever wondered what a elven royal

1132. would wear to play football?

1133. Well, we don't actually play the game.

1134. We ain't getting dirty.

1135. Looking like this?

1136. Miss Mama, no ma'am.

1137. This is what the first gay Pope will look like.

1138. "Jewelsh Shparkles."

1139. Jewels Sparkles.

1140. - What they do? - "Jewels Sparkles."

1141. "Jers Sparkers."

1142. Marie Antoinette.

1143. I've got bows in my hair, bows on my shorts.

1144. I've got grommets everywhere.

1145. We've got everything that it takes to be Jewels.

1146. I feel very, very gorgeous.

1147. Pantaloons from Petticoat Junction.

1148. Petticoat Junction.

1149. Lana Ja'Rae.

1150. - Oh, shit. - OK.

1151. Come on, Naomi.

1152. Don't throw the Birkin bag.

1153. I am channeling Naomi Campbell,

1154. Dsquared, 2003.

1155. I am running down the runway giving bad bitch energy.

1156. I feel so beautiful and I'm so honored

1157. I get to pay homage to someone so inspirational to my drag.

1158. Is that a MAGA hat? Oh.

1159. - Make America Drag Again. - Yeah.

1160. Nobody can wear a red hat anymore, you know?

1161. - I know. - I know.

1162. "Sham Shtar."

1163. This is Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

1164. - In one. - Yeah.

1165. My short shorts, they are high cut

1166. and adorned with stars.

1167. I always was secretly jealous of the football team

1168. because they were so cool and popular.

1169. So this is a tribute to all of the sexy

1170. football players in the world.

1171. And if you're single,

1172. call me—ding!

1173. Anal beads.

1174. Don't leave home without them!

1175. Lydia Butthole Kollins.

1176. Now this is a gutsy look.

1177. It is. It is.

1178. I am a very tragic tale this week.

1179. It's a chemical peel gone wrong.

1180. My skin is falling off.

1181. But luckily, my skin has stayed just around my cooter

1182. to cover it perfectly.

1183. The skin shorts are made out of a tulle fabric,

1184. and on the back of them is a cute

1185. little sparkling butthole.

1186. Come to the party.

1187. Come inside my butthole.

1188. That might be too much.

1189. I did not give her permission to use my before picture.

1190. Suzie Toot.

1191. You've heard of "The Merchant of Venice"?

1192. Yes.

1193. Well, this is "The Merchant of Penis."

1194. Oh, wow!

1195. I'm giving you full Elizabethan puffy shorts.

1196. And baby, I whipped that cape off to reveal

1197. my fruity little butt.

1198. - Oh. - OK.

1199. It is historical.

1200. It's elevated.

1201. It's a cerebral kind of look.

1202. Now appearing in "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream."

1203. Lexi Love.

1204. - What kind of love? - Lexi Love.

1205. Whoo! OK.

1206. My look is a love letter to my village,

1207. my mom, and a couple of her girlfriends

1208. and my drag family.

1209. Everybody spent hours stoning every pair of these shorts,

1210. and I feel wrapped in love.

1211. If you stay shreddy, you ain't got to get shreddy.

1212. Coming up...

1213. Tonight's look is my favorite look.

1214. You are absolutely stunning.

1215. This is, like, I got this at the mall at Wet Seal.

1216. That's not even open anymore.

1217. Welcome, queens.

1218. I've made some decisions.

1219. When I call your name,

1220. please step forward.

1221. Onya Nurve.

1222. Suzie Toot.

1223. Ladies, you are safe.

1224. Thank you.

1225. You may leave the stage.

1226. Queens.

1227. You represent the tops and bottoms of the week.

1228. Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

1229. First up, Arrietty.

1230. Arrietty, you seemed unsure, but you went for it.

1231. And then the minute you fell, even just a little bit—

1232. Ooh, I said that wrong.

1233. It took you down.

1234. I just want to remind you that you did

1235. about as well as you said you were going to do.

1236. So I would just challenge you to anticipate winning

1237. and see what happens in every part of your life.

1238. Tonight's look is my favorite look.

1239. When they said, "Who Wears Short Shorts?"

1240. I was like, hey, shorty!

1241. Can you not move your face right now?

1242. Is that what's happening? - No, I know.

1243. I'm trying not to smile.

1244. It's, like, glued to my face.

1245. I'm sorry I have a bitch face. So—

1246. I love that you're subtitling your face right now.

1247. Shut up!

1248. Up next, "Jewelsh Shparklesh."

1249. Hi!

1250. Started out really strong.

1251. You got up to the podium,

1252. and you said, that was intelligent.

1253. So that was actually really funny

1254. and my hopes were very high.

1255. When you, kind of like Arrietty, started not hitting—

1256. Let me say...

1257. It threw you off.

1258. However, the difference is, you were pushing through it.

1259. You weren't gonna stop.

1260. You were just doing bad joke after bad joke.

1261. Damn.

1262. You are absolutely stunning.

1263. I love the big poof.

1264. Your superpower, I think, is your sweetness.

1265. And the roasting thing is a skill

1266. I really think you should work on because

1267. you can get away with murder.

1268. You could be the Caitlyn Jenner of drag.

1269. Wait!

1270. - Wait. - Fuck.

1271. Up next, Lana Ja'Rae.

1272. Hi.

1273. White!

1274. Some of these jokes really just white themselves.

1275. Honey, those white jokes

1276. really, really, really got it for me.

1277. When it's white, it's white.

1278. Congratulations.

1279. I hope you're so proud of yourself.

1280. I am so proud of you.

1281. I get Britney Spears's dad.

1282. I want to just lock you in a house

1283. and have you all to myself.

1284. Well—well, yes.

1285. Did Naomi wear this in the Dsquared show?

1286. Yes, this was Naomi Campbell with Dsquared 2003.

1287. Yeah.

1288. But for here, like, it's different.

1289. This is, like, I got this at the mall at Wet Seal.

1290. That's not even open anymore.

1291. That's the meanest thing I've heard today.

1292. There's not enough Lana in this outfit.

1293. But you proved that in the roast tonight.

1294. I'm good—

1295. Actually, I don't give a fuck.

1296. I really got a sense of who you are,

1297. and that was so refreshing.

1298. Up next, "Sham Shtar."

1299. You were a Southern belle.

1300. You came in, you stuck the knife in very slow.

1301. You turned it around, honey.

1302. And those girls felt every piece of it, even me.

1303. Good!

1304. And it's hard to stick something in me

1305. and I don't feel it, baby.

1306. When you said, as we say in the South,

1307. bless your sweet little heart.

1308. Disease.

1309. That floored me.

1310. Your performance was just amazing.

1311. You make it look easy, which is kind of annoying.

1312. And then tonight, this is a drag look.

1313. So y'all can do your favorite looks.

1314. Just bring it here dragged up.

1315. Up next, Lydia Butthole Kollins.

1316. Hello.

1317. Lydia, your comic timing—

1318. You're not racing anyone.

1319. It was so perfect.

1320. I was like, is that my biological clock?

1321. Why—What is ticking so perfectly?

1322. Thank you so much.

1323. What gathered me was the oscillating fan.

1324. Girl.

1325. That was my favorite one.

1326. I love this look.

1327. It's very you.

1328. It's very ballsy, so to speak.

1329. It doesn't really read short shorts to me,

1330. I'm not going to lie.

1331. Listen, even this outfit, I get you.

1332. You're the kids I grew up with in the East Village.

1333. More importantly, you get it.

1334. All right.

1335. Everybody say Lexi Love.

1336. Yes.

1337. So what I really loved about your roast was

1338. how you admitted when the jokes did not—

1339. When they were not landing.

1340. You brought us in,

1341. so we didn't have that uneasy feeling.

1342. However, they weren't funny.

1343. Got it.

1344. This look tonight, I like it.

1345. It's all shredded and tore up.

1346. Have you worn something where you drug it on the floor before

1347. while I was here?

1348. Uh, I don't know.

1349. Probably every week, yeah, yeah.

1350. Every week, Ru said?

1351. Now I know you had some issues with going last.

1352. I got upset because I felt like the placement

1353. of Suzie right before me was going to throw me off.

1354. And Jewels knows my inner saboteur loves

1355. to tell myself the things that

1356. Suzie Toot is better than me at.

1357. Because let's face it, I was sucking dick

1358. and smoking meth while she was studying

1359. and becoming better.

1360. You and Suzie are totally two different kinds of queens.

1361. Your saboteur is lying to you.

1362. You know who you remind me of?

1363. Me.

1364. We're the bitches that don't take our Adderall

1365. because we forgot it in some guy's car.

1366. I don't have any notes or critiques for you.

1367. I do have something to say to your inner critic.

1368. And that is, fuck you.

1369. Let this be the last time that your inner saboteur

1370. gets to speak.

1371. Thank you.

1372. Thank you, queens.

1373. I think we've heard enough.

1374. While you untuck backstage,

1375. the judges and I will deliberate.

1376. All right.

1377. Now, just between us squirrel friends,

1378. what do you think?

1379. Let's start with Arrietty.

1380. Her looks are amazing.

1381. But when it comes down to the challenge, honey,

1382. Arrietty was her own worst enemy.

1383. She's very concerned with how she looks

1384. and how other people see her.

1385. And honey, if you're doing a roast, you have to throw

1386. that stuff out the window.

1387. Yes.

1388. Jewels Sparkles.

1389. Listen. Jewels' jokes didn't land.

1390. Honey, there were people that caught more STDs

1391. than they caught her jokes.

1392. But Jewels looked so pretty tonight.

1393. Yes, Marie Antoinette, I am absolutely fucking sick of.

1394. Stop!

1395. But she looked so pretty.

1396. Lana Ja'Rae.

1397. I cannot believe how funny Lana Ja'Rae was

1398. tonight in that roast.

1399. Period.

1400. I think she was like, listen.

1401. What have I got to lose?

1402. I too, enjoyed her roast, honey.

1403. I could have cut me a piece of that and had it twice.

1404. Mm, fix me a plate.

1405. But her outfit tonight?

1406. I didn't want a plate of what she had on.

1407. The top looked very cheap.

1408. I think I saw the children who made it's sweat

1409. sort of on the—

1410. Dripped on the top?

1411. Sam Star.

1412. She needed that one critique a couple weeks ago,

1413. and now she has hit the gas pedal.

1414. Tonight Sam Star got up to the podium.

1415. It was as if she's been hosting for years.

1416. She has this Tracy Flick energy

1417. that is normally a little repellent.

1418. Yeah.

1419. It's exciting to watch someone

1420. want something so bad.

1421. Let's talk about Lydia Butthole Kollins.

1422. As far as the jokes go, those were probably

1423. my favorite of the night.

1424. Her jizz is still in my stomach.

1425. - Oh, God. - They were cutting.

1426. They were roasty.

1427. I like my roast the way I like my men.

1428. How's that?

1429. Dark!

1430. Maybe it's 'cause I'm a comedian.

1431. I enjoyed how playful the outfit was.

1432. I enjoyed the sparkly butthole in the back.

1433. Love Butthole for more reasons.

1434. Let's talk about Lexi Love.

1435. In the challenge, I wanted her

1436. to let her saboteur be what makes her win.

1437. Because when you are a person who struggled with addiction,

1438. there's somebody that looks like a piece of your addiction

1439. sitting right next to you.

1440. She just has got to do to her inner saboteur

1441. whatever she did to all those jeans.

1442. - Uh-huh. - Yes.

1443. My saboteur is always there.

1444. In fact, I've made friends with it.

1445. I go, hey, girl. What's up?

1446. Oh, you still there?

1447. But I'm gonna do this thing over here.

1448. Once she learns that trick,

1449. I think there's no stopping Miss Lexi Love.

1450. I think we call that multiple personality disorder.

1451. Yes, yes.

1452. Silence!

1453. I've made my decision.

1454. Bring back my girls.

1455. Welcome back, queens.

1456. I've made some decisions.

1457. Arrietty.

1458. You were royal on the runway, but your roast was a flush.

1459. I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

1460. Lana Ja'Rae.

1461. Tonight, your roast was so wrong,

1462. it was white.

1463. Sam Star.

1464. Tonight, you served Southern-fried shade.

1465. And honey, we sopped it up.

1466. With a biscuit.

1467. Lydia Butthole Kollins.

1468. Tonight, you tore that roast a new one.

1469. Butthole.

1470. Condragulations.

1471. You are the winner of this week's challenge.

1472. Oh, my God, Lydia!

1473. Come on, Lyddie!

1474. Oh, my God.

1475. You've won a cash tip of $5,000.

1476. Thank you so much.

1477. I don't even know what to say.

1478. It feels extra sweet to win the roast,

1479. especially because it's a comedy challenge.

1480. I did not expect to win one of those.

1481. Lana, Sam, you are both safe.

1482. The three of you may join the other girls.

1483. - Thank you so much. - Thank you.

1484. I'm just feeling really on top of the world.

1485. And I'm funny.

1486. Oh, my God, bitch.

1487. Jewels Sparkles.

1488. You soared on the runway.

1489. But in the roast, your jokes did not land.

1490. Lexi Love.

1491. You know where you're going.

1492. But in the roast, you lost direction.

1493. Lexi Love...

1494. you are safe.

1495. You may join the other girls.

1496. That means Jewels Sparkles, I'm sorry, my dear,

1497. but you are up for elimination.

1498. I can't believe I'm in this position right now.

1499. I'm not gonna let this send me home.

1500. I have to fight.

1501. Arrietty, you might've stolen my jokes,

1502. but you are not stealing my spot in this competition.

1503. Two queens stand before me.

1504. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

1505. and save yourself from elimination.

1506. The time has come...

1507. For you to lip sync...

1508. For your life.

1509. This is my second time lip syncing,

1510. and it feels good and bad.

1511. Good, because, I mean, she just did all this shit,

1512. so I'm like, I want to battle her.

1513. And then bad because I do care about her.

1514. Good luck,

1515. and don't fuck it up.

1516. OK!

1517. Oh, shit!

1518. Arrietty, you are using that bustdown wig

1519. to its fullest capabilities.

1520. Inches!

1521. And you better wave them all over every inch of this stage

1522. if you want to stay.

1523. Jewels is floating across the stage and giving puss.

1524. This is a fight.

1525. Come on, bitches!

1526. Yes!

1527. Yeah!

1528. Yes!

1529. - Goddamn! - Oh!

1530. Way to go, bitches!

1531. Yes, baby!

1532. Queens.

1533. I've made my decision.

1534. Jewels Sparkles...

1535. shantay, you stay.

1536. Thank you so much.

1537. You may join the other girls.

1538. I love you so much.

1539. I love you.

1540. Y'all, everybody get ready for Arrietty.

1541. Now sashay away.

1542. Love you.

1543. Right, right, right.

1544. Soak it in. Soak it in.

1545. Well, it looks like the runway category

1546. just dropped immensely.

1547. Oh.

1548. Y'all ugly boogers.

1549. Bye!

1550. This is when she decides to be funny?

1551. Put that in!

1552. Put that in!

1553. I just lost.

1554. How fun.

1555. I did showcase a lot of my outfits.

1556. I looked sickening, which is what I do best.

1557. Totally fucking crazy.

1558. Except for right now.

1559. To the ones I like, kill it.

1560. Knock out the other girls.

1561. Ooh.

1562. That's so cunt.

1563. I guess I'm coming off a little aggressive.

1564. Which is not the way I want to end.

1565. With that in mind...

1566. Condragulations, queens.

1567. And remember, if you can't love yourself,

1568. how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

1569. Can I get an "amen" up in here?

1570. Amen!

1571. All right.

1572. Now let the music play.

1573. Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race"...

1574. You'll be acting in "Ross Mathews vs. The Ducks."

1575. And action.

1576. Keep my husband's butt out of your mouth!

1577. Ah!

1578. Bad body bitch!

1579. I messed that up. Sorry.

1580. Your energy was just larger than life.

1581. All eyes sort of went to her.

1582. I was like, uh-oh.

1583. Ah!