RuPaul's Drag Race 14x13

1. Previously onRuPaul's Drag Race...

2. You'll be starring in Moulin Ru.

3. Jorgeous.

4. There was a disconnect from what your body was doing

5. and what was on your face.

6. Bosco.

7. You could have gone so much further with it.

8. Lady Camden.

9. I totally knew who you were.

10. Con-drag-ulations. You're the winner of this week's challenge.

11. Jorgeous, shantay you stay.

12. Bosco. If you have the gold bar,

13. you will be safe.

14. Oh, my goodness!

15. Bosco, you are safe to slay another day!

16. Mm.

17. Oh, there's no lipstick message.

18. I've just been saved

19. by the most splendiferous candy bar

20. in existence.

21. I feel so crazy,

22. but I feel like I'm supposed to be here.

23. I am supposed to be on this couch.

24. I got the golden chocolate bar.

25. Come on, chocolate.

26. Holy fuck.

27. Yay, Bosco.

28. It sucks for the rest of us,

29. because now immunity is out the door.

30. I feel like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

31. all in one.

32. Like, what?

33. I was kind of unhappy when Bosco gets immunity,

34. because what else is it gonna take

35. to get these bitches out of here, you know?

36. And it's, like, getting frustrating.

37. This is a lot.

38. It's a lot.

39. Bosco, how did you feel

40. about all of us saying your name?

41. Who should go home tonight?

42. I would have to say Bosco.

43. - Bosco. - Bosco.

44. - Bosco. - I would have to say Bosco.

45. I would have to say Bosco.

46. But if you wanna talk about track record,

47. she was in the bottom three times in one episode.

48. Was it a surprise that everybody said my name?

49. After hearing what the judges had to say,

50. I'm not delusional.

51. I'm not out of touch

52. with, like, what had happened on the stage.

53. The lady asked you to say a name,

54. so you have to say a name.

55. Literally every person in this building

56. told me to go home, and I didn't,

57. and that's really funny.

58. I do wanna say congrats, baby.

59. Thank you.

60. I know, like, we had a moment,

61. and, like, I am fully willing to take responsibility

62. for a lot of that moment.

63. It was both of us, though, you know what I mean?

64. Like, we both should share the weight of that argument.

65. I was being a brat as well.

66. I am nothing but very, very happy

67. and pleased for you.

68. I'm sure at this point,

69. Bosco is gunning for some redemption

70. as she was almost sent home,

71. but we all are right now.

72. It doesn't matter if you just won

73. or you almost went home.

74. We are so close to the finale.

75. Smell the chocolate.

76. Smells like victory.

77. There's so many distractions

78. as we get closer and closer to the crown.

79. You have to focus on that crown.

80. And the journey continues.

81. Continues.

82. The winner ofRuPaul's Drag Race

83. receives a one-year supply

84. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

85. and a grand prize of $100,000, powered by Cash App.

86. With extra-special guest judge, Dulcé Sloan.

87. - It's a new day! - Helloteous.

88. It is another day in the werkroom.

89. Even though there's seven girls here right now,

90. we are so close to the finale.

91. It's like I'm edging right now.

92. Can you say that? I don't know.

93. Jorgie, Jorgie-porgie.

94. I think it's safe to say that you definitely are

95. the lip sync assassin of the season.

96. Yeah.

97. How do you feel about that, DeJa?

98. Well, it wasn't an official title,

99. so I don't really give a fuck.

100. Because RuPaul said I am, darling.

101. Apparently there is a lip sync assassin among us.

102. No, no, no, no, no.

103. She said you could be.

104. All right.

105. Your application is pending, DeJa.

106. Hello, hello, hello.

107. Ladies, we've got company.

108. Please give a warm Drag Racewelcome

109. to the president of Anastasia Beverly Hills,

110. Norvina.

111. Yes, girl.

112. Ladykins, thanks to Norvina,

113. this is your lucky day.

114. For the first time in Drag Raceherstory,

115. I'm giving you the chance

116. to paint my face.

117. What?

118. Girl, what?

119. There's no way in hell, bitch,

120. that RuPaul is gonna let us paint her face.

121. Girl, are you serious?

122. Norvina, my dear, after you.

123. Now, queens, walk this way.

124. No, really. Walk this way.

125. Ladies, uncover your eyes.

126. One, two, three.

127. Oh, my God!

128. So for today's mini-challenge,

129. you need to paint my mug

130. and the face of the beautiful Dolly Parton.

131. Paint your face, honey.

132. See, this makes a lot more sense.

133. Using several coats of many colors,

134. inspired by the new Anastasia Beverly Hills

135. Norvina lilac palette,

136. you'll be recreating the incredible mural

137. by artist Gus Cutty

138. located in Asheville, North Carolina.

139. Now, queens, I need you to break into two teams,

140. a team of three and a team of four.

141. Well, that was easy.

142. DeJa, Jorgeous, Angeria,

143. you'll be painting my face.

144. - Yes! - Ooh, yes!

145. Lady Camden, Willow Pill, Daya Betty, and Bosco,

146. you'll be painting the face of Dolly Parton.

147. Yes!

148. Gear up. You've got 30 minutes to create art.

149. Ready...

150. set...

151. paint for the gods.

152. Okay, bitches. Light colors down first.

153. We're gonna get this set wet, honey.

154. I will use this brush.

155. All right, I'm giving you shades, guys,

156. I'm giving you shades.

157. - Dimension. - Yes!

158. Oh, my God!

159. - Jorgeous! - Oh, my God!

160. Jorgeous with this ginormous brush

161. looks like a little hamster in a cartoon, just...

162. We have seven minutes to finish her highlights!

163. Aah!

164. Put some more mascara on her eye, bitch.

165. Oh, my God, you're making her look like such a drag queen.

166. Eew.

167. I am snatching this nose down.

168. She can't even breathe how pinched it is.

169. That nose.

170. It looks like if a hot dog had a butt.

171. Bitch...

172. Bitch, I don't know what's going on with this nose. Unnh.

173. But I think we won.

174. Queens, we're back!

175. And we're scared.

176. One, two, three.

177. - What do you think? - Whoa!

178. Watching RuPaul's face...

179. Oh, dear.

180. Oh, well, you got my wooden teeth right.

181. I think we've seen enough.

182. The winner of today's mini-challenge is...

183. Team Dolly.

184. You've each won $1,500 worth

185. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics.

186. And queens, thank you all for trying my new palette.

187. - Thank you. - Thank you.

188. My queens, for this week's maxi-challenge,

189. we're having a good, old-fashioned roast.

190. And the guest of honor is our very own...

191. Ross Mathews.

192. Since bursting onto the national scene

193. as the hilarious intern on The Tonight Show,

194. Ross has become America's sweetheart, bestselling author,

195. and one of my favorite people on the planet.

196. This week, your job is to rip her to shreds.

197. Lady Camden, Willow, Bosco, and Daya Betty,

198. you won the mini-challenge,

199. so you get to assign the order of the roast.

200. Ooh!

201. Racers, start your engines,

202. and may the best drag queen win!

203. Bitch, this is gonna be the worst challenge.

204. Like, I'm a pendeja.

205. I'm not good at writing down jokes.

206. I'm gonna be in so much fucking trouble.

207. Coming up...

208. With a roast,

209. there's a lot of potential for embarrassment.

210. If Ru, Ross, and Michelle were in a girl group,

211. it would be called Destiny's Adopted Child.

212. You have some work to do.

213. Yes!

214. Come on, roast.

215. Is anyone terrified of this challenge?

216. - I'm terrified. - Very.

217. I am terrified.

218. Our maxi-challenge this week is the roast of Ross Mathews.

219. And because Team Dolly won the mini-challenge,

220. we get to set up the order of the roast.

221. So the four of us get to decide the order.

222. Yeah!

223. I do wanna say I would like to make everybody,

224. like, somewhat comfortable in this.

225. I don't wanna bone anybody.

226. Before we break off,

227. do you all have anything to say?

228. I would prefer not to go first or last.

229. Somewhere in the first half.

230. I would love to go second,

231. if that's an option for me.

232. Your applications are pending.

233. We'll get back to you in six to eight weeks.

234. Let's go have a little team huddle.

235. With great power comes great responsibility.

236. But at the same time,

237. as long as I get the spot that I want,

238. I do not care where anyone else goes.

239. I'm putting my foot down. I want Saltine.

240. I know the first and last spots

241. are always the least favorable.

242. I don't want either.

243. I'm okay with kind of anything, just not opening.

244. After last week's shenanigans,

245. I'm not trying to start a fight

246. over any sort of spot in the roast.

247. I'm more than willing to be a team player.

248. I'm okay with opening.

249. It doesn't seem like

250. anybody's chomping at the bit for that one,

251. and after last week,

252. I'm playing it a little bit less conflict-heavy.

253. Look at us!

254. I'd be okay with going third.

255. It's a little shady,

256. but I would like to go after Jorgeous,

257. because I feel the least confident in her set.

258. But she could blow us away. I have no idea.

259. I mean...

260. we'll see.

261. Uh, mm, well, I don't know.

262. Like, I want to be in the middle.

263. Like, dead middle.

264. What about five and Angie's four?

265. - Sure. - Okay.

266. How do you feel about sixth or seventh?

267. It's you and DeJa.

268. But DeJa said she doesn't want to.

269. - But— - Fuck that shit.

270. If you want to go sixth, go sixth

271. and put DeJa last.

272. I'm just wondering if I'm capable of, like,

273. bringing it home, you know?

274. If I go last, then I have to be really fucking funny,

275. and if I don't go last, then I'm playing it safe.

276. I have that weird butterfly feeling in my stomach,

277. where it's like, eee.

278. Do it, you know what I mean?

279. Like, move towards your discomfort?

280. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

281. I need to continue to sort of push myself

282. off of that scary ledge,

283. because whenever I don't do that,

284. I just fade into the background.

285. I'm gonna go last. Fuck it.

286. - Okay, baby. - All right, do it.

287. Oh, they're back.

288. What's the tea, sugarfoot?

289. Okay, Bosco's going to open.

290. - Werk! - Perfect.

291. Miss Jorgeous will be going second.

292. Oh, my God, yes.

293. Thank you all, thank y'all, thank y'all.

294. Willow will be going third.

295. - Angie's next, so fourth. - Okay.

296. I will be going five.

297. - DeJa will be going sixth. - Okay.

298. And Cam will be going last.

299. Yay!

300. There is no room for complaints.

301. Nobody set you up. Everybody got what they wanted.

302. If you suck, you suck.

303. Sucks to suck, as my grandma used to say.

304. Okay, now time to change my diaper and start writing.

305. Yay!

306. Roasting the Ross.

307. The roast of Ross.

308. Willow, how are you feeling about all of this?

309. Oh, my God.

310. I've never done a roast before,

311. and it is just a whole 'nother ballpark.

312. You have to tell lots of jokes,

313. have all of them land,

314. and make sure that you're not the joke at the end.

315. Okay, how do you like this one?

316. Ross, I like to imagine you and Carson

317. are secretly in love.

318. But since you're both loose bottoms,

319. you have sex by leaning against opposite sides of the couch

320. and running backwards.

321. Wait. What?

322. With a roast, there's a lot of potential for embarrassment.

323. - How you doing? - Bad.

324. Girl, I feel you.

325. Like, I literally don't even know how to begin.

326. What do your notes say?

327. "Thank you, Angeria."

328. Oh, my God.

329. By the way, you guys,

330. this is a roast, so no holds bar.

331. Go for the jugular.

332. Yeah.

333. Or all my chins.

334. DeJa is just such a fun person.

335. She's probably gonna deliver something pretty great,

336. as long as she doesn't veer into dad joke country.

337. I kind of wanted to do, like, something dumb.

338. Like...

339. if Ru, Ross, and Michelle were in a girl group,

340. it would be called Destiny's Adopted Child.

341. Huh?

342. You have some work to do.

343. It's not that the joke's not funny.

344. I mean, I'm just kind of not laughing.

345. Well, then I guess that means the joke wasn't funny.

346. But... Yeah, the joke wasn't funny.

347. Coming up...

348. Last week I had the dubious honor

349. of being told that I should go home.

350. Cool.

351. Eh.

352. Why does it smell like 45 ounces of bounce that ass?

353. Mm-mm.

354. This is what a man in a wig

355. is supposed to look like.

356. Is that funny?

357. - Hello! - Oh, hello!

358. - Hi, Bosco. - Hi.

359. It's time to meet with the comedy coaches.

360. We're gonna find out if any of my jokes are funny.

361. Dulcé Sloan is here.

362. - Hi! - Hello!

363. She will help us through our journey.

364. Okay, and it's gonna be a journey.

365. Have you done a roast before?

366. I've done a lot of, like, hosting gigs.

367. Well, you're kind of a shady bitch.

368. Kinda.

369. Shady bitch. What a great foundation to be on.

370. - So let's get started. - Okay.

371. My name is Bosco, and I'm still here.

372. Last week, I had the dubious honor

373. of being told by every competitor

374. that I should go home.

375. Cool.

376. That's observational and it's cute,

377. but if it's not funny enough

378. and then you follow it up with deadpan "cool,"

379. it's not gonna work.

380. There's no punchline to that joke.

381. Gotcha.

382. And the first thing Michelle said,

383. that you were a shady bitch, I didn't get shady bitch.

384. I have a very dry sense of humor,

385. and sometimes dry sense of humor

386. does not always read to everybody.

387. But let's talk a little bit about your career, Ross.

388. Leslie Jordan walked so you could prance.

389. Um...

390. Oh, I get it.

391. It's a roast.

392. Make this bitch Boston Market. Like, roast.

393. Gotcha.

394. And also, you're opening this.

395. - You chose to go first. - I did.

396. - You chose to go first? - You chose to go first.

397. - I did. - Why?

398. I have a lot to prove after last week.

399. You know, last week, Ru said "Who should go home,"

400. and they all chose Bosco.

401. - Everybody chose you? - Everybody chose me.

402. You better come out here with guns blazing.

403. That's what it has to be right now.

404. There are things in here.

405. Be funnier, be deliberate.

406. - Yes. - Okay.

407. Let us know what you're here to do.

408. If they want bigger punchlines and they want more meat,

409. where's the meat?

410. I will give them the meat.

411. Hey, Willow.

412. Let's hear what you got.

413. RuPaul, it's no secret

414. you're a little intimidating to us queens,

415. but to curb my fear of you, I have to remember

416. that all of your talent and creativity

417. has gone into smash hits

418. like Christmas Cookies and Christmas Cookies 2.0.

419. The first part of it's too long.

420. - Say it again. - It's no secret

421. you're a little intimidating to us queens,

422. but to curb my enthubia— ugh, sorry.

423. To curb my fear of you—

424. I just wanna introduce the phrase to you

425. "economy of words."

426. Get to the funny as soon as you possibly can.

427. - Succinct. - Okay.

428. Succinct. Yeah. College.

429. My comedy is rambling absurdity,

430. but the setup that usually works for the roasts

431. is like setup, joke, punchline, boom.

432. Move on. Next, next, next, next, next,

433. and that is not easy to do at all.

434. All right, Angie, let us have it.

435. Well, all right. Now that nap time is over,

436. I am here to wake y'all bitches up.

437. - Okay. - Okay.

438. You got us. We're ready.

439. - Hey! - I'm up!

440. I'm coming in loud and in charge,

441. and just doing what Angie does.

442. When I think of the name Ross Mathews,

443. I think of motels:

444. always open and filthy as fuck.

445. Always open and...

446. And filthy as fuck.

447. Cool? Okay, keep going.

448. - Eh. - It's all right, it's all right.

449. - Eh! - It's all right.

450. - Well, hey, we getting there. - Eh!

451. Okay. Okay.

452. Ross, you have a fabulous job.

453. I mean, I know people that would kill to work on this show

454. and be the understudy for Carson Kressley.

455. That's cute.

456. - Hey, there we go. That's one. - I like that one.

457. - That's cute. - Okay.

458. Like, well, as long as I'm

459. getting a little giggle out you, girl,

460. I feel good about what I have cooking.

461. Daya, are you excited for this challenge?

462. I am terrified for this challenge.

463. Are you?

464. I don't have any reads for Ru right now.

465. Okay, quick note.

466. Do not tell us what you don't have,

467. because it makes us feel like you're unprepared.

468. What do you have? Start with that.

469. Okay.

470. So, now, girls, I want you to look at Michelle.

471. This is what a man in a wig is supposed to look like.

472. Okay.

473. I am thinking, oh, God, this is awful.

474. She's gonna hate it. This is not gonna go well.

475. Who is your doctor?

476. That way, when the money starts coming in,

477. I know who to stay away from

478. if I'm gonna get cosmetic surgery.

479. That's funny.

480. - Okay, perfect. - That's funny.

481. But then she starts chuckling, she starts laughing.

482. Ross Mathews, you're so gay, your favorite candy is PrEP.

483. That's funny!

484. So that's all the jokes you have written.

485. That's all I have as of now.

486. Hey, you got some funny jokes.

487. So now go write some more.

488. - Well, hello! - DeJa!

489. Baby, baby!

490. So let's see what you've got.

491. All right, so Daya is the person before me.

492. So Daya looks like what a five-year-old would draw

493. if a five-year-old would draw Bigfoot.

494. - Mm-mm. - No.

495. - Mm-mm. - Okay.

496. Michelle, this hair is everything,

497. but I will say

498. you officially look like Pepe Le Pew's asshole.

499. Okay. Is that funny?

500. Is that funny?

501. I was, like, I thought it was.

502. What joke would you think is the strongest

503. that you would use as your opening joke?

504. Um...

505. Which one— what are you laughing at?

506. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

507. I'm literally just trying to figure out

508. what was my funniest joke.

509. And you should know that.

510. Was the Bigfoot one funny?

511. - No. - Not really.

512. Not really. Okay.

513. I will work on that.

514. Okay, but what you do need are funny jokes.

515. Yes.

516. It's gonna be the roast of DeJa Skye.

517. - Hi, Lady Camden! - Hello!

518. Let us hear what you've got, and we'll guide you.

519. There before the grace of gays, Michelle Visage.

520. A lot of people don't actually know

521. that you are a talented dancer,

522. because you are not.

523. Yes, I am!

524. No, Michelle, you have two left feet.

525. They have left your body completely.

526. Yes.

527. That is fucking hilarious.

528. You like that?

529. Am I a comedian?

530. Ross Mathews, you are so gay

531. that when I shout "Hello" into your asshole,

532. it echoes back gayer.

533. Can't you just say,

534. "You are so gay that even your farts have a lisp?"

535. Right. Ha-ha-ha!

536. Succinct, to the point.

537. Yep. When you try to make something work

538. that's not working, that's when you put too many words there.

539. You got this, and you got some funny stuff there, Camden.

540. - Helloteous. - Okay.

541. Bitch, you're painted.

542. Thank you for the cheap seats always.

543. Yes, and Michelle, you know you're always painted, too.

544. - Always, Jorgeous. - Okay.

545. Okay, thank you for the compliments.

546. - Let's hear your jokes, baby. - Okay.

547. Oh, my God, I am honestly

548. so nervous about sharing my material.

549. I met Ross Mathews one time at a club that I work at,

550. and this bitch was twerking everywhere.

551. And all I could think was,

552. "Why does it smell like 45 ounces of bounce that ass?"

553. 45 ounces...

554. - Of bounce that ass.

555. - I'm glad you're laughing. - Okay.

556. - Mm-mm. - Really?

557. Not funny.

558. When I'm giving you any amount of bouncing that ass,

559. it's a good day for everybody.

560. - Okay. - I'll take it.

561. So let's go back on that joke.

562. - Yes. - Okay.

563. Ross was so fucked up.

564. She was twerking everywhere, and, bitch, it stunk.

565. Like, it smelled.

566. Are you telling me that because the ass was bouncing,

567. I am getting an aroma of anus?

568. - Yes, exactly. - Okay.

569. - Can we hear more? - Yes.

570. Ross Mathews, it's so good

571. to see you lose all that weight and the baby.

572. People have very serious feelings about losing babies.

573. Oh, okay.

574. So you might wanna stay away from any of that.

575. Like, he gave birth to the baby.

576. That's what I was trying to do, think of.

577. Oh, well, this is how you say it.

578. Ross, it's so amazing that you lost all that weight.

579. How's the baby?

580. - How's the baby? Okay. - Ha, yes.

581. What else do you have for Ross, because this is a roast of Ross.

582. Honestly, this is all I have right now.

583. Jorgeous!

584. You can't be afraid to make jokes.

585. They just have to be funny.

586. Okay. Okay.

587. Honestly, this challenge is, like, so difficult.

588. I don't see myself as a funny person.

589. - You gotta let that go. - I know.

590. When you're talking to your friends, do they laugh?

591. - Yes. - Yeah?

592. You know you sit up and badmouth bitches all the time

593. when you're sitting there with your best homegirl.

594. That's how you talk to Ross.

595. And you turn that into a joke.

596. Write it down.

597. Okay.

598. Ugh, I just guess I need to add that Jorgeous flair,

599. even though they've been telling me for weeks to add it,

600. and I still haven't figured it out.

601. And it's just, like, come on.

602. - Hey. - Oh, she's back.

603. - What's the tea? - It was fucking awful.

604. Really?

605. And I'm just over it at this point.

606. I don't know what to do.

607. Um, yeah.

608. They were like, just talk with your homegirls,

609. like how you talk with your homegirls.

610. I'm like, okay, like,

611. that was obvious, you know what I mean?

612. But, like, whatever happens happens at this point.

613. Honestly, I don't care.

614. Jorgeous, don't give up, sister.

615. I know.

616. Sometimes Jorgeous is super confident

617. and is ready to slay all of us.

618. Other times, she's totally in her head

619. and kind of checking out of the competition.

620. Right now, she just can't give up.

621. You are a superstar.

622. Bitch, not after this fucking shit.

623. Coming up...

624. I am tapping into this humorous side of me.

625. We have to roast and bake at the same time.

626. Honestly...

627. So funny, Lady Camden.

628. Good morning!

629. Oh!

630. Time to roast a bitch!

631. Today's maxi-challenge is the Ross Mathews roast.

632. I love him, but I'm gonna read him.

633. So we have to roast and bake at the same time.

634. Going into this roast,

635. I'm way more excited than I thought I was gonna be.

636. So funny, Lady Camden.

637. You are a genius.

638. What?

639. I am tapping into this kind of, like, humorous side of me,

640. and I'm feeling like my wings

641. are starting to kind of expand a little bit.

642. Maybe I'll just keep writing stuff down

643. as I'm gluing my eyebrows.

644. Bosco, you get to open the show, darling.

645. - I do get to open the show. - Are you feeling confident?

646. I like my set.

647. It feels really tight and put together,

648. and I pride myself on being very tight.

649. What about you, Miss Thing?

650. Yesterday they seemed to get my humor, which was good.

651. I only had half of my set,

652. so hopefully the rest of my set is just as good, if not better.

653. What about you, Jorgie-Porgie?

654. Oh, girl, I feel awful.

655. You feel awful?

656. I'm not excited about this challenge whatsoever.

657. I'm trying my best,

658. and, like, lately my best hasn't been good enough.

659. I feel like y'all got it so together, though.

660. It's really intimidating, not gonna lie.

661. Remember how you felt during that Lip Sync Lalaparuza

662. where you were like, I'm not bothered?

663. I'm not going anywhere.

664. Like, try to find that.

665. I can't figure it out. I really can't, you know?

666. It's definitely an "easier said than done" thing.

667. Yes.

668. Honestly, I'm just not confident going into this.

669. Like...

670. Lip syncing is something that I do not wanna have to rely on,

671. but if it comes down to it, girl, I'm ready.

672. I'm gonna be laughing at everything,

673. even if it's not funny,

674. and I expect the same from my sisters.

675. I was at the bottom day one, and I progressively got better.

676. I have won a challenge, Yay-ya!

677. I have a top multiple times.

678. I deserve to go to that next level.

679. It's so close. Like, I just—

680. It's right there, so tangible I can taste it.

681. Can I see that extra spongy-sponge?

682. Yeah, you're gonna have to definitely wash it,

683. because it's, like, old and gross.

684. - Whoa. - I know.

685. What is this?

686. This looks like you had, like, a third testicle

687. that you, like, cut off and then handed it to me.

688. That thing is disgusting.

689. It's the risk of it all.

690. - What is that? - Fuck.

691. Hey, beggars can't be choosers, Bosco.

692. - Absolutely not! - Beggars can't be choosers.

693. - Yes, bitch. - Yes.

694. Wow, wow, wow.

695. Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

696. Michelle Visage.

697. Now, how do you like your roast?

698. Gluten-free and vegan with a side of spotted dick, please.

699. Yum!

700. And our man of the hour, the hilarious Ross Mathews.

701. Ross, will you be having the roast tonight?

702. Sure, but would you tell the chef

703. I like my roast well done?

704. Burn!

705. - Welcome, Dulcé Sloan!

706. Now, I hear the roast started yesterday.

707. You call it a roast. I call it tough love.

708. This week, we challenged our queens

709. to show off their comedy chops

710. at the first-ever Ross Mathews roast.

711. Racers, start your engines,

712. and may the best drag queen win.

713. Coming up...

714. Ross is proof that you do not need a deep voice.

715. You just need a deep throat.

716. You are the only man that I know

717. that masturbates to Lifetime movie network.

718. Live from Television City in Sylmar,

719. it's the Ross Mathews roast.

720. First up, Bosco.

721. Jesus, thank you.

722. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

723. Welcome to the roast of the legendary Ross Mathews.

724. Before we get started, I do wanna take a moment

725. and talk about myself.

726. Oh!

727. So last week I had the legendary honor

728. to be told to go home by each and every one of my competitors,

729. everyone on the panel, and by RuPaul.

730. I have been told to go home

731. more times than Ross at White Party.

732. I have been told to go home more times than Michelle

733. every time she visits the UK.

734. I have been told to go home more times than RuPaul

735. when she tells her record company she has a new song.

736. I understand the critiques.

737. You're tired of the bras, you're tired of the corsets.

738. You wanna see versatility.

739. I'll show you versatility when Willow passes a drug test.

740. - Oh, shit. - I'll show you versatility

741. when Jorgeous wins an acting challenge

742. and passes a drug test.

743. RuPaul, you are so old

744. that when you say that you were vers,

745. you mean you were both hunter and gatherer.

746. And Ross, the man of the hour, the reason for the season.

747. When you say that you were vers, no one believes you.

748. But for real, I adore you.

749. Ross is not a top.

750. He's a blouse.

751. I'm gonna go ahead and bring on our next girl.

752. If you hated my corsets,

753. I'm sure you're gonna love her swimsuits.

754. Okay.

755. It's Jorgeous.

756. Hi, you nasty bitches.

757. You know, RuPaul, I thought I was gonna be competing

758. with succulent, decadent, gorgeous queens.

759. Instead, I'm getting a linebacker,

760. Lurch,

761. and the Crimson Chin bitch.

762. Speaking of linebackers, hi, Michelle.

763. Ooh!

764. I just wanna say it's so crazy

765. to think that your plastic surgery is older than me.

766. I didn't have any, but okay.

767. I just also wanna say RuPaul, it is so crazy

768. that I've known about you ever since I was in diapers.

769. Now you're the one in diapers.

770. It's funny 'cause it's true!

771. I could smell it, girl, I could smell it.

772. Now, the most nastiest bitch of the hour, Miss Ross Mathews.

773. Helloteous. Good morning.

774. - Hi. - Oh, my God, you're so gay

775. that your asshole sounds like a turkey.

776. Blblblbl.

777. It's so good to see you lose all that weight.

778. How's the baby?

779. Surprisingly, Jorgeous has, like, good energy up there.

780. I just wanna bring onto the next stage—

781. I mean, I just wanna bring—

782. But Jorgeous' roast is not good.

783. I just wanna bring to the stage the gremlin of the season,

784. Miss Willow Pill.

785. Thank y'all very much!

786. Everybody give it up for Jorgeous.

787. - Yes! - She really tried her darnedest.

788. You know, the judges are always saying

789. Jorgeous was born for drag.

790. She's also gonna die for it.

791. Because RuPaul's gonna sacrifice her

792. for seven more years of life.

793. All that's gonna be left

794. is the world's tiniest sequined bra.

795. I think what I love most about the cast is the diversity.

796. We have Bosco,

797. who looks like the child of Kurt and Courtney,

798. Daya, who looks like the child of Ozzy and Sharon,

799. and we have Camden,

800. who looks like the child of a brother and sister.

801. You fucking bitch!

802. But enough about these hooligans.

803. I wanna talk about these judges.

804. Michelle, you pride yourself

805. on being a singer, an actor, and a dancer,

806. and only three of those are a lie.

807. On to the man of the hour,

808. Carson Kressley's arch nemesis, Ross Mathews.

809. That's me.

810. Truly you are a very, very handsome lesbian.

811. It took me about five years to realize

812. you and Fortune Feimster were different people.

813. Oh, my God!

814. That's my roast, but I'm gonna bring up our next guest.

815. She combines the grace of Diana Ross

816. and the beauty of Rumpelstiltskin.

817. Give it up for Angeria!

818. Well, hello, everybody.

819. - Oh, hello. - All right.

820. Well, now that nap time is over,

821. I'm here to do what I do best,

822. and that's read a bitch.

823. - Ooh! - All right.

824. Now, wait a minute.

825. Now, let's start with our beautiful panel of judges.

826. Mama Ru, in drag, you are like the supermodel of the world.

827. But outta drag, you are like the superintendent of schools.

828. Bitch, half the time, I don't know

829. whether I'm about to get eliminated or expelled.

830. Michelle Visage,

831. the inspiration behind the invention

832. commonly known as the glory hole,

833. because men would rather look at a blank wall than yo face.

834. And the diet version of Lizzo herself,

835. it's Dulcé Sloan, baby.

836. Baby, how you feeling? Okay as hell?

837. All right, honey.

838. We are all here tonight to honor one man.

839. Well, unfortunately, that man was unavailable,

840. so we got a woman instead: Ross Mathews.

841. If you were on Drag Race, I am pretty sure

842. you would be the lip sync assassin of your season,

843. because you are no stranger to bottoming weekly.

844. - Ooh!

845. But no, seriously, you are the only man that I know

846. that masturbates to Lifetime movie network.

847. Don't judge me!

848. Angeria may not have the punchlines,

849. but she is delivering everything

850. as if it is the funniest thing you've ever heard.

851. Jacking to soap operas and shit.

852. That is all the time that I have for y'all today.

853. Ladies and gentlemen, Uncle Fester.

854. - Aah! - Yes!

855. You know, I am terrified.

856. I've never done a roast before,

857. but Dulcé did give me some really good advice

858. before we got started.

859. It's really all about creating jokes

860. centered around people that you respect the most.

861. I was, like, well, shit, I'm definitely in trouble then.

862. Although I don't really consider myself

863. the funniest girl here,

864. I am very happy to be here in front of you all tonight.

865. I want you all to take a look at Michelle Visage over here.

866. Look at her beautiful hair, the stunning makeup.

867. Now, this is what a man in a wig is supposed to look like, okay?

868. Now, Ru, roasting you

869. is probably the most difficult thing, you know,

870. just because I admire you so much.

871. I think you are just so successful.

872. Hell, you had a podcast that always made people smile.

873. Daya's taking so long to get to every punchline.

874. You have a TV show that constantly makes people laugh.

875. You have a music career

876. that makes people go uh-huh, okay, cool.

877. It's like, oh, not only wasn't it not funny,

878. but you wasted my time.

879. But, you know, we are all here tonight for a reason.

880. Ross, you are so gay

881. your favorite candy is PrEP.

882. And you know, you truly are a staple of this show,

883. and you are definitely one of my top... four favorite judges here.

884. Let me introduce you to our next guest.

885. She was conceived in a car

886. going 80 miles per hour down the interstate

887. because that's where most accidents happen.

888. It's DeJa Skye!

889. Well, hello, everybody.

890. Give it up for Miss Daya Betty.

891. Yeah!

892. Now, I will say Daya looks like

893. what a five-year-old would draw

894. if you asked them to draw Bigfoot.

895. Or a big foot.

896. Yeah, that's very much Daya Betty.

897. Now, speaking of big things,

898. what's the difference between my padding and Bosco's big ego?

899. Oh, my God.

900. My padding can clear a doorway.

901. Oh, my God.

902. Just kidding. Not really.

903. Let's talk about you guys.

904. Michelle, you are a dirty, dirty woman,

905. and I only say that because she hasn't washed her vagina

906. since Season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race.

907. - Oh, my God. - Whew.

908. Now, what's something nice

909. that I can say about Michelle

910. that already hasn't been said by the L.A. Rams?

911. Or the Clippers. Or the Lakers.

912. She's a whore.

913. And that leads me to the queen of the hour,

914. Mrs. Ross Mathews.

915. Ba-ba-ba-ba-bow!

916. Now, Ross, I personally love your voice,

917. but sometimes it gets so high-pitched

918. I'm almost certain only dogs can hear it.

919. Woof! You know what I mean?

920. Oh, no, DeJa.

921. Now it's weird, and I don't understand this,

922. but I am in full drag,

923. and for some reason I look more masculine than you.

924. I don't get it.

925. It's the flannel.

926. Tell another one. I'm bombing up here.

927. Hey.

928. Well, my time is done.

929. Let's introduce our next entertainer.

930. Now, this queen needs no introduction.

931. Finally a joke lands,

932. and it happens to be the last one.

933. Hello, everyone!

934. - Hello! - Hello!

935. Thank fuck that was over. Yay-ya!

936. The Muppets are here!

937. Yes, a bunch of ugly monsters

938. who only come to life when there is a hand up their ass.

939. I'm excited for tonight's runway.

940. Jorgeous will be wearing a headband as a dress,

941. and RuPaul will be telling her that she is a superstar.

942. Yes. Can't wait for you to superstar your way

943. out of this roast, bitch. Damn.

944. - Oh, my God! - Enough about them.

945. I am in front of gay Mount Rushmore tonight. Yes.

946. Knock, knock.

947. Who's there?

948. I don't know, but Michelle's a whore.

949. "Michelle" actually translates to "beautiful,"

950. and "Visage" translates to "just kidding."

951. - Hey, Ross. - Hi!

952. I'm sorry, my dear,

953. but you represent the bottoms and the bottoms of the week.

954. Ross is a true Hollywood success story,

955. proof that you do not need a deep voice.

956. You just need a deep throat.

957. Ooh!

958. Ross, you are so gay

959. that when I shout "hello" into your asshole,

960. it echoes, "hello, hello, hello,"

961. and then it comes back, "Hey, bitch."

962. Every time I shout, "I need relationship advice"

963. and it comes back out, "Fucking dump him, bitch."

964. Every time I shout "What is the meaning of life"

965. into Ross's asshole, it echoes in

966. and it comes back out, "It's Britney, bitch."

967. That's all I have time for today.

968. Thank you all so much, and thank you for letting us

969. destroy you completely tonight, Ross Mathews.

970. We adore you. Mwah.

971. Thank you.

972. Let's give a big round of applause for Ross Mathews.

973. I feel very loved. Thank you.

974. Is there anything you wanna say?

975. I quit.

976. Coming up...

977. You fucking smashed it.

978. You sold it like you were the headliner.

979. You broke the fourth wall, you broke the illusion.

980. Category is Tutu Much.

981. First up, Bosco.

982. How's your head?

983. Now, that's what I call a shoulder blade.

984. I'm giving you buzz saw ballerina.

985. I do a lot of horror-based drag.

986. It's kind of like a fuck you to tutu

987. while also putting my own spin on it.

988. Nice middle ground of glamour and gore.

989. Well, she saw it in the store

990. and just had to have it.

991. Up next, Jorgeous.

992. I hear she's got a part in West Side Whorey.

993. Rita Moren-ho.

994. I'm showing the judges

995. a little more rougher side of Jorgeous,

996. knowing that she can get butch a little bit, you know.

997. I feel so badass right now.

998. Lesbian biker realness.

999. You know, the Village People

1000. have really changed since I was a kid.

1001. Up next, Willow Pill.

1002. These are the lips I dream of.

1003. Now, she's a real filler queen.

1004. This look is inspired by Donatella Versace,

1005. Amanda Lepore, Bjork, Cruella de Vil.

1006. I'm having so much fun with my little opera glasses,

1007. peering at the judges and cackling at them,

1008. like, muahahaha.

1009. And I know this is what Michelle wants to look like

1010. in about a hundred years.

1011. Mary, Queen of Scats.

1012. Angeria Paris VanMicheals.

1013. Whose lime is it anyway?

1014. She's not just wearing a tutu, ladies and gentlemen,

1015. she is wearing a tutu gown,

1016. because you know I gotta do my Angeria thing, honey.

1017. There are four layers of tutus on my dress.

1018. I am tutu much for you, and you cannot take it.

1019. Oh!

1020. She put the lime in the coconut.

1021. Daya Betty.

1022. Hold me closer, not-so-tiny dancer.

1023. Now, that is what I call

1024. a tutu by four-four.

1025. This entire outfit

1026. is made out of recycled materials.

1027. The jacket is a thrifted jacket.

1028. The crown is a duct tape roll covered in construction paper.

1029. I'm wearing 11-inch platform heels.

1030. This takes me from 6-3 to 7-3.

1031. Well, 7-2 if you do the math correctly,

1032. but who's good at math?

1033. Uh, my eyes are up here.

1034. No, no, keep going. Up. Up here.

1035. DeJa Skye.

1036. This is pastel-oquent.

1037. Katy Perry's sister Aqua Perry.

1038. I love pastel.

1039. It looks so good on my melanated skin.

1040. I basically want to be like if I had prom in Candy Land.

1041. I wanted to feel adorable.

1042. Simple, gorgeous dress.

1043. Now, this queen is a really big teal.

1044. Lady Camden.

1045. Pas de, oh, yes, she betta deux.

1046. Lady Camden: How can I come here

1047. and not wear my dream tutu?

1048. The first time I ever saw a ballet,

1049. everything that I saw

1050. was sparkling like an absolute dream,

1051. and so I'm giving you that full fantasy.

1052. Just floating down the runway,

1053. pushing stars into space,

1054. ballerina to the max.

1055. She's tutu legit to tutu quit.

1056. Coming up...

1057. This look is just glamour.

1058. - Mmm, gimme.

1059. God didn't intend for anyone to ever wear this color.

1060. Welcome, ladies.

1061. It's time for the judges' critiques,

1062. starting with Bosco.

1063. Well, for starters, I hate all you fucking bitches.

1064. No, listen, here's the deal.

1065. If you're gonna do a roast, you've gotta go there.

1066. I mean, you crockpot me

1067. till my meat is falling off the bone.

1068. That's what I want.

1069. Mmm!

1070. Bosco, not only did you have

1071. a strong stage presence out there,

1072. you also knew the structure of a joke:

1073. setup, punchline.

1074. You took all of the notes that me and Michelle gave you,

1075. and you applied them very well.

1076. And you fucking smashed it.

1077. Thank you.

1078. This outfit, I absolutely love it.

1079. The split in the hair with the curl, Miss Ma'am.

1080. There's a concept, and it's fun and it's edgy.

1081. Very cutting edge look.

1082. Good night for you. You were very funny.

1083. - Very good. - Thank you.

1084. Up next, it's Jorgeous.

1085. This is really fun, it's really edgy,

1086. very kind of early Madonna.

1087. I could see her in that.

1088. I think you struggled a little bit in the roast.

1089. It just felt like you never really got your footing.

1090. In rehearsal, you looked defeated,

1091. like you just wanted to give up,

1092. and we didn't want you to give up.

1093. So your delivery was good, but you pulled back.

1094. When you come up here, you're talking to us

1095. like you're kiki-ing with any of your homegirls.

1096. I don't think you were able to connect that.

1097. Did you have fun doing it?

1098. Honestly, I did not have fun whatsoever doing it.

1099. Aw!

1100. Yeah, yeah.

1101. It was like when Bosco introduced me,

1102. like, I was already about to, like, burst out in tears.

1103. Yeah. Well, it should have been fun, because at one point,

1104. you realize that you can't take life too seriously.

1105. You know, have fun with it.

1106. Anyway, thank you.

1107. Thank you.

1108. Up next, it's Willow Pill,

1109. and she has never looked more beautiful.

1110. You came out really strong in the roast,

1111. and I was laughing right away.

1112. I love how you think, and that was on display.

1113. Of course, you could have gone further.

1114. You know, I really want you to give it to me.

1115. This, however, delicious.

1116. This is, like, Pete Burns, rest in peace.

1117. Everything about it is just glamorous.

1118. Just a fabulous look. Oh, my goodness.

1119. In the roast, did you have fun? Did you laugh at yourself?

1120. I was terrified, because I'm not really, like,

1121. a ba-dum-tchh kind of comedian.

1122. Yeah.

1123. It's hard to speak in these lips.

1124. Up next, Angeria.

1125. What I loved about your roast was your confidence.

1126. Were you the funniest queen? No.

1127. But you sold it like you were the headliner.

1128. And when your jokes didn't hit, it only was for a second,

1129. and you were just like, okay, next.

1130. There are comics that cannot do that.

1131. For this look, mm, gimme.

1132. Do you know why I love this color?

1133. Why?

1134. Because God didn't intend

1135. for anyone to ever wear this color.

1136. Which takes it to drag.

1137. I love an unnatural color.

1138. I'm stealing that wig.

1139. Just come to Atlanta and get it.

1140. Oh, girl, I know you got that wig from Atlanta.

1141. Imma go to my mama house and get it.

1142. All right, up next, it's Daya Betty.

1143. Listen, I like this because

1144. sometimes when people wanna do distressed, they go too far.

1145. Yeah.

1146. And this is just, hey, listen,

1147. I'm in the ballet.

1148. I got a good job, but also, I got the tights on.

1149. Are there holes in 'em?

1150. You gonna gimme my check.

1151. I came to work, stop playing with me.

1152. I understand this girl.

1153. You know how I could tell

1154. that you were a little nervous during the roast?

1155. How?

1156. First thing you said was, "I'm nervous."

1157. Yeah.

1158. I just wasn't on board from the get-go

1159. because you told me not to be.

1160. Did I stop you and say,

1161. "Don't tell me what you don't have.

1162. - Tell me what you do have?" - You did.

1163. So when you said you're nervous,

1164. you broke the fourth wall, you broke the illusion.

1165. I think tonight you got lost.

1166. I think the jokes were way too long.

1167. Looked great. Delivery, not so great.

1168. I was trying so hard not to get nervous.

1169. Like, I was really trying to, like, slow down.

1170. I have a tendency to talk really fast sometimes, so—

1171. Yeah, yeah.

1172. It's interesting when you second guess what's the obvious.

1173. Be a star, you know?

1174. - Okay. Yeah. - You know?

1175. - All right, thanks. - Thank you guys.

1176. Up next, DeJa Skye.

1177. Tonight, I think from here up, you look so beautiful.

1178. I think the fit of this dress is where I'm having a problem.

1179. The top is very kind of—

1180. - Weird, yeah. - Yeah.

1181. It just looks like it's falling off up here.

1182. - Let's talk about the roast. - Okay.

1183. The issue was when you roast somebody,

1184. you've gotta tell the truth and then put the spin on it.

1185. What you just gave us were kind of facts.

1186. My voice is so high-pitched a dog can hear it. Fact.

1187. And so I was waiting for the twist.

1188. So you could have gone

1189. Ross Mathews' voice is so high,

1190. he makes Paul Lynde sound like Morgan Freeman.

1191. It felt like you didn't take any of me and Michelle's notes,

1192. and me and Michelle didn't get dressed

1193. just to not have somebody listen to us,

1194. because we came to help you, girl.

1195. We told you what to do, what to work on,

1196. and you did the ones we told you not to do,

1197. and they didn't land.

1198. I did add a joke that you Xed out

1199. just because I really kind of liked it.

1200. But even your opening joke, we said mm-mm,

1201. and you opened with it anyway.

1202. Right. I'm not, like, a comedian.

1203. I don't consider myself a comedian.

1204. Yeah, but we're all kind of clowns, you know.

1205. Do you have things that you say in your nightclub act

1206. or when you're hosting?

1207. Oh, yeah. I love saying, like, gay boys, can I get a yes?

1208. And then I do this thing. I'll say, like,

1209. let me feminize my voice for this one.

1210. Where are all my straight boys at?

1211. And so it just— okay, great.

1212. Yeah. Yeah.

1213. All right, thank you. Up next, Lady Camden.

1214. You started so strong with the roast,

1215. I was really on board with you from the get-go.

1216. Your delivery, the way you looked was great.

1217. I did really enjoy your set.

1218. You did have just those little cheeky moments that I did like.

1219. But that asshole echo.

1220. You know that joke didn't work.

1221. But tonight, this look is just glamour.

1222. I was so hoping that you'd give us

1223. the full ballerina fantasy tonight.

1224. - Oh, good. - Especially when it was tutu.

1225. I love that you didn't do ballet hair.

1226. You gave us glamour hair, and it just makes it drag.

1227. And the appliqué on your skin is so stunning.

1228. I think you had a really strong night tonight, Camden.

1229. Listen, I'm just gonna echo everything everyone else said.

1230. Oh, echo. Sorry.

1231. Too soon?

1232. It's probably too soon, yeah.

1233. - Too soon. - You look beautiful.

1234. Thank you so much.

1235. Thank you, ladies. I think we've heard enough.

1236. While you untuck in the werkroom,

1237. the judges and I will deliberate.

1238. We are getting down to it in this compe—what?--tition.

1239. Now, just between us squirrel friends,

1240. let's start with Bosco.

1241. Well, she came out tonight, and she slayed the house down.

1242. And this from a queen

1243. who, if it weren't for a golden candy bar,

1244. wouldn't even be here this week.

1245. - That's right. - Fact.

1246. - Right? - Yeah. Yeah.

1247. So I love a story of someone who rises from the ashes.

1248. Strong night for Bosco.

1249. Jorgeous.

1250. Before she even opened her mouth, she was defeated,

1251. and she brought us down with her.

1252. It was uncomfortable.

1253. She is a humongous star.

1254. - Mm-hmm. - The sky is the limit for her.

1255. But in this competition,

1256. you have to have every skill set to make it to the end.

1257. - Willow Pill. - Ooh, baby.

1258. Can we talk about that runway for two hot seconds?

1259. The lips. Did I get 'em? No.

1260. Do I want 'em? Yes.

1261. I love that extreme look.

1262. It may be my favorite look of the evening.

1263. I thought her comedy was good enough

1264. to give us some strong laughs in there.

1265. I love Willow,

1266. and not just because she called me a handsome lesbian.

1267. I just think she is so interesting.

1268. Angeria.

1269. She came into that rehearsal,

1270. and she was convinced that her jokes were hilarious.

1271. They weren't.

1272. I laughed at Angeria's jokes,

1273. even though they weren't that funny.

1274. I love when somebody laughs at their own jokes,

1275. because when they do that, it sucks us in.

1276. She was selling the jokes.

1277. Even the ones that didn't land, I still wanted to hear 'em.

1278. Daya Betty.

1279. On the opposite end of the spectrum,

1280. Daya Betty said straightaway she was nervous,

1281. and then we were like, oh, dear.

1282. And then it kind of went nowhere.

1283. - Yeah. - She could have sold it.

1284. I never would have thought in a million years she was nervous.

1285. Because Daya Betty in Daytona Wind,

1286. she was a rock star.

1287. She came out defeated,

1288. and it showed, unfortunately, in this challenge tonight.

1289. DeJa Skye.

1290. When DeJa walked out,

1291. she was giving drag early Roseanne, Brett Butler,

1292. and she didn't deliver.

1293. She had specific jokes that she wanted to do,

1294. and Dulcé and I were like, no, that actually is not funny.

1295. Get rid of it.

1296. - She did all those jokes.

1297. Yeah.

1298. On the runway, this didn't work for me, either.

1299. I got tulle. I got no tutu from that.

1300. Yeah, the prom dress that doesn't fit.

1301. It wouldn't have taken much to just take in that top.

1302. Clip it. We all got clamps on.

1303. Yeah, I wouldn't have a career without a clamp.

1304. Mm, I'm clamping right now.

1305. Lady Camden.

1306. The roast, she took the notes, she did it.

1307. She had a strong set,

1308. but oddly, the one that we were trying to work out with her,

1309. the echo joke,

1310. we not only told her that it wasn't funny,

1311. but she decided to add two more goes of it.

1312. She was determined to yell "hello"

1313. into Ross Mathews' asshole.

1314. I kind of didn't mind,

1315. because she's just got this delivery that's so smooth.

1316. She is a queen who has every skill it takes

1317. to find herself in the end of this competition.

1318. All right, silence.

1319. I've made my decision.

1320. Bring back my girls.

1321. irls, irls.

1322. Girls, girl.

1323. Girls, girlth. Girls.

1324. My butthole.

1325. Welcome back, ladies.

1326. I've made some decisions.

1327. Lady Camden.

1328. You're safe, you're safe, you're safe.

1329. Bitch.

1330. You may step to the back of the stage.

1331. Bosco.

1332. Tonight you really cut through.

1333. Con-drag-ulations. You're the winner of this week's challenge.

1334. You've won a cash prize of $5,000.

1335. Oh.

1336. I was essentially told to go home last week,

1337. and I come back and I knock it out of the park

1338. and I feel like a fucking rock star.

1339. Willow Pill.

1340. You're safe.

1341. Angeria Paris VanMicheals.

1342. You're safe.

1343. Thank you.

1344. Daya Betty.

1345. You are a towering talent,

1346. but in the roast, you came up short.

1347. Jorgeous.

1348. You're one tender queen,

1349. but your roast was tough.

1350. DeJa Skye.

1351. You're a queen with a lot of flavor,

1352. but your roast made me wanna order a pizza.

1353. I'm sorry, my dears, but all three of you

1354. are up for elimination.

1355. Holy shit.

1356. Three queens stand before me.

1357. In a moment, I'll ask one of you to shantay

1358. and two of you...

1359. Fuck.

1360. to sashay away.

1361. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

1362. and save yourself from elimination.

1363. The time has come...

1364. for you to lip sync...

1365. for your life!

1366. There's some moments where I'm, like, fuck.

1367. Like, I can't do this no more, you know?

1368. But, like, this is what I do, and Imma turn it.

1369. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

1370. The song's about being pissed off,

1371. so I can really tap into that.

1372. Survival is the only option at this point.

1373. I am the only person in this competition

1374. that has been told that I am the lip sync assassin.

1375. So don't get it twisted, bitches.

1376. I can lip sync the house down.

1377. Love you guys.

1378. Ladies, I've made my decision.

1379. Daya Betty, shantay you stay.

1380. Oh, my God.

1381. Congrats, sister.

1382. You better do it, bitch.

1383. Thank you, guys.

1384. I am gonna keep doing what I've been doing from week one.

1385. I'm going to bounce back and get to the top.

1386. Jorgeous.

1387. DeJa Skye.

1388. Your dragtastic journey has only just begun.

1389. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.

1390. Thank you.

1391. And thank you guys so much.

1392. I really do appreciate it.

1393. Thank you.

1394. Now sashay away.

1395. - Aow! - Aow!

1396. Love you, guys.

1397. - I love y'all so much. - Love you.

1398. Bitches, you have the power

1399. to do whatever y'all wanna do, and...

1400. Remember to embrace the curve.

1401. I'll see you at the buffet.

1402. Goodbyeteous!

1403. - I love you! - Love you!

1404. - Sister. - Sister friend.

1405. I always say será, será, whatever's for me is for me,

1406. and I faltered tonight.

1407. RuPaul, thank you so much for believing in me,

1408. and honestly, the first thing that I do when I get home,

1409. I'm gonna smoke a fat-ass blunt.

1410. Let's hit it!

1411. Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

1412. And remember, if you can't love yourself,

1413. how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

1414. Can I get an "amen" up in here?

1415. - Amen! - Amen!

1416. All right. Now let the music play.

1417. Next time onRuPaul's Drag Race...

1418. You'll be starring in the music video Catwalk.

1419. Everybody is gunning for that top four,

1420. so it's like, girl, you might not wanna fuck this up.

1421. I'm sorry, my dears, but you are up for elimination.

1422. I need a diaper.