RuPaul's Drag Race 13x1

1. It's a new year

2. and a new season

3. with all new surprises.

4. Girl!

5. From the hood to Hollywood.

6. I'm Kandy Muse, and I'm a Dominican doll

7. from New York City. Meow.

8. My drag style is kind of like

9. if you took a sex doll and threw her in the Bronx,

10. that is literally me.

11. My most impressive drag talent is my mouth.

12. I'm a good lip syncer. I'm a loud-ass bitch.

13. You know, everyone can be a drag queen,

14. but not everyone's gonna be a star.

15. I'm a star.

16. First one!

17. Oh, my God, bitch, Season 13.

18. Most people might recognize me from the former Haus of Aja.

19. And when we dismembered and broke up,

20. I was definitely a loudmouth,

21. and I would say things about Aja

22. that maybe I should have kept to myself.

23. But I also think that she was a little jealous of me.

24. Come on, Miss Anastasia Beverly Hills.

25. I want a sponsorship, thank you very much.

26. She used to always be, like,

27. "Well, you're not famous, so tone it down."

28. But now I'm here.

29. Well, no, I'm here.

30. That's so shady.

31. First one. Seems correct.

32. I'm here to prove that I am more

33. than just Kandy Muse from the Haus of Aja.

34. I can stand as an entertainer by my damn self.

35. I look fucking stunning.

36. Being the first bitch to walk in the competition

37. after waiting years to get on Drag Race

38. is such a fucking dream.

39. I am so excited to be here.

40. Come on, now!

41. And now, any bitch that walks in after me,

42. second place.

43. - Ooh. - Filler queen.

44. "Filler queen?"

45. My name is Joey Jay,

46. and I'm the dumbest bitch you'll ever meet.

47. She's wacky, she's crazy, she's an adrenaline rush.

48. I can perform the house down, boots back, bareback.

49. To be here, it is a dream come true, so...

50. I lost my train of thought.

51. - Aah! - Oh, what up, bitch?

52. Come on, Season 13. Good, girl.

53. - Hi, baby! Mwah, mwah. - Hi, babe. Kandy.

54. Joey. Oh, my God, I'm molting, girl.

55. Miss Thing is wearing a chicken-feather coat.

56. Chicken feathers.

57. There are feathers all over the floor.

58. Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

59. Come on, chicken feathers.

60. Chicken feathers are the least expensive feathers

61. that there are in the planet.

62. Girl, not even a marabou coat?

63. So wait. You do drag full-time in your city?

64. No, I don't. I work for a software company.

65. This is just my little nighttime gig.

66. Oh, okay. Werk. How many shows a week do you do?

67. - Just one. - Just one?

68. Y'all think I'm a basic bitch.

69. You're not wrong.

70. I can't eat spicy foods,

71. I like Vanessa Carlton.

72. But don't underestimate us Vanessa Carltons.

73. Really, bitch, I'm gonna be in that top four.

74. Filler queen.

75. Plot twist.

76. This is my third time auditioning.

77. Oh, this is my fourth.

78. Word. [alarm, thunder]

79. Ooh, girl.

80. She done already done had herses.

81. Girl, what?

82. What?

83. There's only two of us?

84. - Aah! - What is going on here?

85. Welcome, my queens.

86. What? You weren't expecting to see me so soon?

87. No, ma'am.

88. Well, I hope you like surprises,

89. because I've got a big one,

90. and it's right around the corner.

91. Racers, please report to the main stage.

92. Ooh.

93. Like, now.

94. Girl.

95. God. I am so confused right now,

96. and I have no idea what's about to go down.

97. Girl, I am poofed and gagged.

98. And what?

99. Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race,

100. and we are serving Season 13

101. with some serious safety, honey.

102. Michelle Visage, what do you think of the new judges' panel?

103. Baby, I feel like I'm the head teller

104. at RuPaul's Savings and Loan.

105. Wanna make a deposit?

106. The hilarious Ross Mathews. Now, what do you think?

107. You know what, I love it,

108. and I even brought my own squeegee.

109. Hi! Oh, Carson, hi!

110. Michelle!

111. And style superstar Carson Kressley.

112. Are you ready to read some lips?

113. Which ones?

114. Both sets.

115. Tonight we're doing things just a little differently.

116. For the first time in Drag Raceherstory,

117. we're kicking off the season

118. with six lip syncs for your lives.

119. Now, some will shantay

120. and some will sashay away.

121. Wow.

122. Ooh, child, you ain't ready for this.

123. Racers, start your engines,

124. and may the best drag queen win.

125. What the fuck is going on?

126. Yo, I just walked into Drag Race

127. and now I'm standing on the main stage

128. and I don't know what is about the happen.

129. I can't even look at RuPaul in the eyes,

130. because I'm getting so nervous.

131. I'm already feeling scared as fuck and insecure,

132. but I signed up for this.

133. Get it together.

134. Welcome, ladies. Surprised to see me?

135. You've made it to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race,

136. and so soon.

137. We'd like to take this moment

138. to get to know you a little bit better.

139. Judges, say hello to Kandy Muse.

140. - Hi, Kandy. - Hi, Kandy.

141. - Hello. - I would love to know

142. what makes this a signature Kandy Muse look.

143. It's sexy, it's slutty, it's denim,

144. it's from Brooklyn, it's New York.

145. I heard you're a member of the Haus of Aja?

146. That's the former Haus of Aja, but yes.

147. - Well, what house now?

148. The dollhouse, with my drag sis Dahlia Sin from Season 12.

149. Part of the broccoli bunch.

150. Fierce broc-ally.

151. International House of Pancakes here.

152. Judges, say hello to Joey Jay.

153. Tell us about your look, Joey.

154. Well, I like chicken, I like to cluck, I like a butt,

155. so I decided to dress up as all three.

156. Cluck, cluck.

157. What inspired you to do drag?

158. Self-expression, and cluckin' and buckin'.

159. Thank you, Joey.

160. Thank you.

161. Ladies, your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

162. got you here.

163. Now let's see what you can do with it.

164. Two queens stand before me.

165. Prior to tonight,

166. you were asked to prepare a lip sync performance

167. of Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

168. In a moment, I'll ask one of you to shantay

169. and one of you to sashay away.

170. Bitch, excuse me?

171. We just walked into the competition,

172. and now we have to lip sync for our lives?

173. One of us is about to go home. It ain't gonna be me.

174. Ladies, this is your first chance to impress me

175. and save yourself from...

176. getting the porkchop.

177. The time has come...

178. for you to lip sync...

179. for your life.

180. Even though I'm shook as fuck on the inside,

181. I'm a lip sync assassin. Eat it.

182. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

183. Well, Miss Ru, I just met you, and this is crazy.

184. Whatever this bitch next to me is doing,

185. girl, I can give two shits,

186. because this stage is mine.

187. Take out your dollars, bitch.

188. Ladies, I've made my decision.

189. This is a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

190. I'm not going home before I even start.

191. Fuck

192. The winner ofRuPaul's Drag Race

193. receives a one-year supply

194. of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

195. and a cash prize of $100,000.

196. Ladies, I've made my decision.

197. Kandy Muse, shantay you stay.

198. Thank you so much.

199. RuPaul just called my name,

200. and I tried to stay real calm and bow down.

201. Thank you so much.

202. But, bitch, I'm inside, I'm like, ooh, bitch,

203. I won the mother fucking lip sync! Ha-ha-ha!

204. Joey Jay, I'm sorry, my dear,

205. but that means you're getting the porkchop.

206. You are and will always be Drag Raceroyalty.

207. Now sashay away.

208. Mwah. Thank you so much.

209. I'm really sad to leave the competition.

210. I worked so hard to get here, just to go home early.

211. I don't wanna go home, girl.

212. Let's see who's next.

213. Let me break the ice.

214. I'm Denali, and I am Chicago's ice queen.

215. So I am icy, spicy, and a little bit dicey.

216. Okay.

217. First one in. Winners come in first.

218. I do drag. I'm a professional ice skater.

219. I am drag's gold-medal bitch.

220. And I might not have made it to the Olympics in figure skating,

221. but I did make it to the Olympics in drag.

222. I am competitive, and I'm here to win that crown.

223. Oh, what you say, what you say?

224. LaLa Ri is here to slay.

225. I am the sensational, dynamic LaLa Ri.

226. She's ratchet, she's sexy, she gives you a little glamour.

227. LaLa Ri is like a Olive Garden pasta

228. with, like, Popeye's chicken tenders on the side

229. for the razzle-dazzle.

230. Most of all, she's entertaining, girl.

231. - Hi! - Hi!

232. Oh, my God, nice to meet you.

233. I'm Denali.

234. LaLa Ri.

235. Girl. Not gonna lie.

236. I was expecting a little bit more.

237. Your entrance look is a basic bodysuit, a blazer,

238. and this kind of like flat wig.

239. Okay, cute.

240. We're the first two in, bitch.

241. I know. First two in, last two out.

242. Ooh, girl.

243. She done already done had herses.

244. But—

245. Bitch.

246. Wait. What's going on?

247. What—what alarm?

248. One plus one equals two,

249. but if you carry the three, minus the four,

250. bitch, that don't add up.

251. What is really the tea?

252. Hello, dolls.

253. The competition has started without you,

254. so get your sassy selves to the main stage.

255. We're waiting!

256. Uh, okay.

257. Holy shit, this is crazy.

258. There's two of us.

259. Why would we be going to the main stage already?

260. I am feeling just gagged.

261. I'm sorry, floors.

262. Welcome, ladies.

263. I'm so glad you could join us.

264. You know, people come and go so fast around here.

265. We'd like to take this moment

266. to get to know you a little bit better.

267. Let's start with Denali.

268. Hey, Denali.

269. Hey, Michelle.

270. So tell me about this look.

271. Well, I'm a professional figure skater outside of drag,

272. so I love to mold the two worlds.

273. Just when I thought the show couldn't get any gayer,

274. now we have figure skating?

275. But I have a serious question for you, okay?

276. Are you more of a Tonya Harding or a Nancy Kerrigan?

277. I'm definitely more of a Tonya, if you know what I mean.

278. I know what you mean.

279. [imitating Nancy Kerrigan] Why?

280. Why?

281. Why?

282. Next up, LaLa Ri.

283. Hey, LaLa Ri.

284. - Hey, girl. - You know, I always love

285. when a queen comes out missing her trousers.

286. But she got her jacket on.

287. So tell us about what does this look say to you.

288. Yes, LaLa Ri is very sexy, but a little classy,

289. so this represents the class and the sex.

290. And the ass.

291. - Of course. - There you go.

292. LaLa, I wanted to ask you,

293. do you think you could beat Denali in a lip sync?

294. Of course I think I can beat Denali in a lip sync.

295. I mean, she's a lovely girl and all, but bring it.

296. Well, we will see about that.

297. We're doing things a little differently this season.

298. Two queens stand before me.

299. Lip sync?

300. I absolutely am a lip sync assassin,

301. but not in ice skates.

302. Ladies, this is your first chance to impress me

303. and save yourself from getting the porkchop.

304. The time has come...

305. to lip sync...

306. for your life.

307. I'm an entertainer first and foremost,

308. so Miss LaLa Ri is about to give you hell,

309. about to bring you fire.

310. She'll give you everything you need, plus more.

311. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

312. Boom, I automatically just hit my performance mode.

313. I'm thinking, okay, bitch, it's time for you to shine.

314. I was not expecting to lip sync.

315. This is not a lip sync outfit, but Imma make it work.

316. I decided to do a cartwheel. Okay.

317. Nobody got a haircut.

318. Whoo!

319. Ladies, I've made my decision.

320. I didn't come here to go home early.

321. I'm just gonna pray on it.

322. Throw it up and bring it down.

323. Ladies, I've made my decision.

324. LaLa Ri, shantay you stay.

325. Aroo? I'm, like, do I say thank you or what?

326. Okay, girl.

327. Well, shantay I stay, thank you, girl.

328. Denali, I'm sorry, my dear,

329. but you're getting the porkchop.

330. Now sashay away.

331. Feeling icy, feeling spicy.

332. I'm unbelievably devastated.

333. I'm just kind of, like, oh, my God,

334. I'm going home without showing anything on Drag Race.

335. What the fuck is up on here?

336. - I'm Denali. - I'm Joey.

337. - Nice to meet you. - A pleasure.

338. I'm, like, I don't understand.

339. Was I not the only one eliminated?

340. Oh, no, look it.

341. They're all the first girl outs.

342. I see on the wall the porkchop loading dock,

343. and all of these pictures

344. of first-eliminated queens from Drag Race.

345. Oh, no.

346. Porkchop herself, Shangela,

347. Miss Vanjie, Dahlia Sin.

348. There's some sort of trickery. I don't know what's going on.

349. I feel like something's gonna jump out of a box.

350. So here we are, trying to figure out

351. what the fuck has just happened to us.

352. Are we being sent home?

353. Am I about to de-drag at the airport?

354. Can I call my mom?

355. Don't let the smooth taste fool you, baby.

356. My name is Symone, I am 25 years old,

357. and I am the ebony enchantress.

358. Queen number one, all right.

359. Let's do it.

360. My drag is very real woman, very female illusional.

361. This is gonna be my spot, front and center, honey.

362. I love strong women who've been through things,

363. and if you Black, that's even better.

364. I'm here, bitch!

365. Symone is the confidence, the essence.

366. She is a goddess, she's everything.

367. Holler at me. I know you know me.

368. Holler at me. I know you know me.

369. Tamisha is here.

370. I am Tamisha Iman,

371. one of the baddest in the art form of female impersonation.

372. I am sassy, I am lovable,

373. but at the same time, I can be B-I-T-C-H if need be.

374. - Hi. - Hi, how are you?

375. Nice to meet you. I'm Tamisha.

376. It's lovely to meet you, too. I'm Symone.

377. - It's nice to meet you, Symone. - Thank you.

378. I love the power shoulder.

379. Thank you, I'm into fashion.

380. There we go. Pageant gal?

381. - Of course. - Of course.

382. Yes. Of course.

383. And the matriarch of the Iman family.

384. Word!

385. I'm the mother of the dynasty.

386. - Come on, dynasty. - Yeah, it's a dynasty.

387. Miss Tamisha is very...

388. Now, no shade, no shade.

389. Like a mother figure.

390. But also, like, you know

391. that she is here to play and slay.

392. Ooh, girl.

393. She done already done had herses.

394. What the hell?

395. Maybe they hit the button too soon.

396. Just two of us?

397. We ain't even done nothin' yet. We just walked in.

398. Well, hello, my queens.

399. I wanna see both of you on the main stage.

400. Hit it!

401. What the hell?

402. Come to the floor?

403. You supposed to come in the room.

404. We don't supposed to come to the floor.

405. Welcome, queens. Surprised to see me?

406. Now it's time

407. to make a positive first impression on the judges...

408. starting with Symone.

409. So I see you've got little mini Polaroids as your dress.

410. Oh, yes.

411. Are they pictures of you?

412. Each one of them are pictures of me,

413. a little couple faces, a couple of shoes,

414. a couple of asses pictures, too.

415. So does that tell me that you love yourself?

416. Yes, I do love myself.

417. - Good. - I love my drag persona.

418. - Great. - It saved my life.

419. Where did you grow up?

420. I grew up in Conway, Arkansas.

421. I dated a guy from Pine Bluff, Arkansas.

422. Oh!

423. Is he your grandfather?

424. I think so.

425. I knew he said something about a cross-dresser.

426. So we might be related.

427. All right, Tamisha Iman.

428. I see that you have found what I have lost.

429. - Oh! - Yep.

430. I did get 'em.

431. Yeah, you sure did. You got 'em, girl.

432. How long have you been doing drag?

433. 30 years.

434. What?

435. - Yeah, 30 years. - Wow.

436. Do you think your vast experience

437. is going to be helpful

438. or be a hindrance in the competition?

439. Well, I'm not as great as I used to be,

440. but I'm still as good as I should be.

441. I'm recently getting over cancer.

442. Because you were cast on Season 12.

443. Yes. On that Friday,

444. I got the call to say, "Hey, you made it!"

445. On that Sunday, I got the call from my doctor

446. stating that I had stage three colon cancer,

447. and they had to start immediately radiation and chemo.

448. So it devastated me.

449. You know, I got so bad to where I couldn't walk.

450. The cancer and the radiation took such a control over me.

451. And knowing that I could possibly fight

452. to get back here just one more time, I fought it.

453. So within a year, I'm—

454. I'm a conqueror,

455. and I'm so thankful that you gave me this chance.

456. So I'm blessed. Whatever happens, I'm blessed.

457. - All right. - God is good.

458. Thank you, Tamisha.

459. Ladies, I have just one more thing to say.

460. Oh.

461. Two queens stand before me.

462. H-h-h-huh?

463. Ladies, this is your first chance

464. to impress me and save yourself from getting... the porkchop.

465. The time has come...

466. for you to lip sync...

467. for your life.

468. I ain't been here five minutes and y'all doing all this.

469. This is crazy.

470. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

471. Whoo!

472. Tamisha is giving you Janet Jackson concert vibes.

473. Arms, movements, da, da, da, da, da.

474. I was, like, oh, no, ma'am.

475. This is my stage,

476. I can't let her have it.

477. This is not her Janet Jackson moment, it's mine.

478. Ladies, I've made my decision.

479. The thing about watching the show,

480. you think you know until you get here,

481. and now you don't know nothing.

482. Let me take a deep breath,

483. because I don't know what's about to happen.

484. Ladies, I've made my decision.

485. Symone, shantay you stay.

486. Aah!

487. Sorry.

488. In the seven minutes that we are here,

489. I have literally walked through the werkroom,

490. went to the main stage, and won a lip sync.

491. What is going on, America?

492. Whew.

493. Tamisha Iman, I'm sorry, my dear,

494. but that means you're getting the porkchop.

495. Now sashay away.

496. Thank you. I'm always gonna be a Ru girl.

497. Thank you. Mwah!

498. Wow.

499. I'm totally destroyed, because this is my second chance,

500. and it's over that fast.

501. just that fast, in the blink of a eye.

502. - Hey, cutie. - Well, well, well.

503. I'm Denali. Nice to meet you.

504. Joey Jay.

505. Nice to meet you, Joey. I'm Tamisha.

506. I'm still in shock and awe.

507. They're excited.

508. "Hey, girl, how are you?"

509. I'm like, "Why are we here?"

510. We're here in a room full of first eliminees.

511. Oh, are we?

512. Our picture is gonna go there for next season.

513. No, I don't feel like it's the end, exactly.

514. It felt like the end to me.

515. I got eliminated on that stage, and it hurt like—

516. Yeah, but you know it's not RuPaul's Drag Race

517. without a twist.

518. Bitch, I don't know what you feeling,

519. but at the end of the day, the lady said go home.

520. The bags are packed, we all in this room.

521. They just letting us come together

522. so it'll be one van

523. to take us all to the airport.

524. You're very hopeful,

525. and I get it, but, you know—

526. I'm holding on because I am not accepting elimination just yet.

527. This ain't no twist.

528. The twist is we twisting to the door.

529. The lady said go home.

530. Time to crash the system.

531. I'm Gottmik, and I'm ready to kill it.

532. My drag is inspired by fashion

533. and designers like McQueen, Galliano.

534. Picasso's paintings inspire me a lot.

535. I love putting shapes on my face

536. where they probably shouldn't be.

537. She's just a campy, spooky,

538. clown artistry thing, I guess.

539. Not the first person here.

540. I cannot.

541. I'm so excited to be here on RuPaul's Drag Race.

542. Thank you. Hold the applause.

543. I think I'll bring a different angle to this competition.

544. I am a transgender man,

545. so born a girl, transitioned to a guy,

546. dress like a girl for money.

547. Very that.

548. But, I'm so psy—

549. No one saw that.

550. I am an extravagant celebrity makeup artist.

551. I'm gonna have, like, a buffalo bump on my hair.

552. I've painted Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum, Paris Hilton.

553. And so the biggest misconception about me

554. is that I'm just a makeup artist.

555. I'm so much more, and I cannot wait to show these bitches.

556. Ah-choo!

557. She's sickening.

558. I am Utica Queen, and I am from Utica, Minnesota.

559. See what I did there?

560. I'm the queen of the unexpected.

561. I am the wacky, inflatable, waving-arms tube queen.

562. I'm always dishing a hot dish of ridiculousness to an audience.

563. I'm so excited to spread smiles

564. to all the wonderful people in the world.

565. Hello!

566. Hi, I'm Gottmik. Nice to meet you.

567. A pleasure, Utica. Nice to meet you.

568. - Go ahead, you look gorg! - God, your paint.

569. Good morning, hello, and good night.

570. Hi, how are you?

571. This is crazy!

572. So what type of drag is she?

573. What does she do?

574. So I'm really kooky.

575. Uh-huh.

576. It's kind of like if your best friend's a supermodel.

577. Like, she walks into the room,

578. but then she trips and falls on her face

579. and eats her own booger.

580. Uh, that's me.

581. [alarm, thunder] Oh, no.

582. Ooh, girl.

583. She done already done had herses.

584. The alarms are going off, the lighting is changing.

585. Oh, my God, I love this lighting, though.

586. It's matching my outfit, so I'm living for that.

587. Welcome, queens.

588. Meet me on the main stage,

589. because I wanna see you sweat.

590. I'm already sweating.

591. Aah! What's happening?

592. Welcome to the main stage.

593. - Whoo! - Thank you!

594. Thank you for having us.

595. Now, listen, we just wanna get to know you a little better.

596. So starting with Gottmik, we're gonna talk to the judges.

597. Hey, Gottmik.

598. Hey, Ross. How are you?

599. How would you describe your drag?

600. I like everything to be kind of Pierrot inspired,

601. clown, black and white,

602. but with, like, a vibrant, campy touch to it.

603. We can obviously see that you are great with makeup,

604. and you've got a great fashion sense.

605. Thank you.

606. Would you describe yourself as a lip sync assassin?

607. I'm not a lip sync assassin,

608. but I can lip sync the house down for sure.

609. Okay.

610. Thank you, Gottmik.

611. Thank you.

612. - Up next, Utica. - Hi.

613. I wanna know how this outfit describes who Utica is,

614. and why is there a strawberry on your head?

615. So the strawberry,

616. I used to be allergic to strawberries growing up,

617. and it's kind of a testament to me getting through it.

618. So... That's so crazy.

619. - It's so dumb. Whoo-oo. - I love it. Okay, go on.

620. And, yeah, I would say my style

621. is if you took this pattern and that pattern

622. and this pattern and this pattern and put it in a jar,

623. and then shook it all up and then there you go,

624. but with a touch of polish.

625. Just a touch.

626. Are you a little nervous?

627. Feel it in my nuggets.

628. - You feel what? - I feel it in my nuggets.

629. Oh, okay. We all love nuggets.

630. Ladies, I have a question.

631. How well do you perform under pressure?

632. Actually, you know what? Don't answer that.

633. I think we're about to find out.

634. Two queens stand before me.

635. What? Right off the bat?

636. Ladies, this is your first chance to impress me

637. and save yourself from getting the porkchop.

638. The time has come...

639. for you to lip sync...

640. for...

641. your...

642. life. Hah!

643. I'm cracking my knuckles right now.

644. But, like, getting ready, like, focused.

645. No one is sending me home on the first episode.

646. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

647. Whoo!

648. Ladies, I've made my decision.

649. Oh, what's gonna happen next?

650. This is crazy!

651. Ladies, I've made my decision.

652. Gottmik, shantay you stay.

653. Oh, my God, thank you.

654. I fucking just won a lip sync on RuPaul's Drag Race.

655. Hello!

656. Utica, I'm sorry, my dear,

657. but that means you're getting the porkchop.

658. Now sashay away.

659. Thank you very much for this opportunity.

660. Oh! No!

661. It can't end this soon.

662. I'll get you for this, RuPaul!

663. Hey!

664. Oh, my God, I am the first one here.

665. I could have gone to the dentist.

666. My name is Rosé, and I reside at the busy intersection

667. of Wit Avenue and Fashion Boulevard.

668. Rosé is a comedy queen,

669. kind of like if Robin Williams and Jim Carrey had a child.

670. What a horrible daughter for the two of them to procreate.

671. Got a little stage going on here.

672. I'm not gonna step on that. It might collapse.

673. I had breakfast today.

674. I'm a singer and a dancer.

675. I was on The Voice and America's Got Talent.

676. I'm very competitive. I don't like to lose.

677. But I usually win.

678. I should, uh, probably wipe off this tooth,

679. since no one's gonna see it.

680. I'm basically doing shtick for an empty house,

681. which is not something Rosé's used to, I'm proud to say.

682. Lux be a lady tonight.

683. I'm Olivia Lux, and I like to light up a room

684. whenever I walk into a space.

685. I consider Olivia Lux as that diva,

686. but that, like, really nice diva,

687. like Diana Ross and the Supremes.

688. Oh, my God!

689. - You look so good. - Mwah, mwah.

690. You look amazing.

691. It's so good to see you.

692. You, too, baby. I think the last time

693. I saw you in drag was literally Lady Liberty.

694. Yeah, where I was a contestant and you were hosting it.

695. I look up to Rosé so much.

696. She's, like, New York City drag royalty.

697. And now we're in America's biggest drag pageant together.

698. Like, whaaa.

699. At that time, I had been doing drag

700. for, like, what, six months?

701. Wait, how long have you been doing drag?

702. Like, a year and a half.

703. A year and a half? Okay, girl.

704. I'm a little surprised to see Olivia here, to be honest,

705. because I would expect Olivia

706. to take just a little bit longer to be really ripe enough.

707. But her smile is stunning,

708. and I can't wait to knock her teeth out one by one.

709. Ooh, girl.

710. She done already done had herses.

711. Welcome, ladies. What?

712. Were you expecting more?

713. Good, because so am I.

714. Meet me on the main stage.

715. Ha!

716. Pronto!

717. Okay, the main stage.

718. - Let's go! - Let's go!

719. Child, it is about to start, honey.

720. Welcome, ladies.

721. Breathe deep and take in

722. the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

723. of the queens that came before you.

724. The smell of hairspray and desperation.

725. Now, the judges wanna get to know you a little bit better,

726. starting with Rosé.

727. What does this outfit tell us about you, Rosé?

728. RuPaul always says that if you wanna make money,

729. you should wear a suit.

730. And I never understood that, so I wore this instead.

731. I think I recognize you from New York.

732. Are you part of the girl group with Jan?

733. Yes, I am. Stephanie's Child.

734. Are you planning on lasting a little longer than Jan?

735. I am absolutely planning on lasting longer than Jan.

736. - Ooh. - Okay.

737. Up next, Olivia Lux.

738. Hi.

739. I would love to know what this outfit says about Olivia Lux.

740. Well, I do love a good Showgirlmoment,

741. and I thought I'd go with something

742. that reminded me of a theater curtain.

743. And a large purse for all those things you have in it.

744. Exactly.

745. I like to carry my extra eyelashes in this.

746. If I were to go see an Olivia Lux show,

747. how would it be different than any other drag queen show?

748. I really like to incorporate live drag elements,

749. so you may see me sit down at the piano for a bit, you know.

750. Well, I love a big organ.

751. Ladies, we're doing things a little differently this season.

752. It's all come down to this.

753. Two queens stand before me.

754. Ladies, this is your first chance to impress me

755. and save yourself from getting the porkchop.

756. The time has come...

757. for you to lip sync...

758. for your life.

759. For our life?

760. On day one?

761. And against Rosé?

762. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

763. It sounds so cliché and band camp

764. to say that I am one with the music,

765. but, honey, I am one with the music.

766. I'm an incredible lip syncer.

767. I'm gonna show the judges

768. that I've got a few tricks up my sleeve

769. and I'm the bitch to watch.

770. Ladies, I've made my decision.

771. Olivia Lux, shantay you stay.

772. Aah! I can't believe it!

773. Thank you.

774. I'm shocked!

775. Rosé, I'm sorry, my dear,

776. but that means you're getting the porkchop.

777. What? Wait, what?

778. Now sashay away.

779. Thank you.

780. Oh, wait, I'm so confused.

781. Me, too.

782. I just got here.

783. I haven't done anything.

784. I haven't even opened my suitcase.

785. Am I supposed to, like, leave with a zinger?

786. I'm not sure what's going on, but bye, I think.

787. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to play with fire?

788. Now let's turn it and burn it, bitches!

789. I'm Tina Burner,

790. and I'm New York's premiere costume comedy queen.

791. I have been a staple in the drag community for 10 years.

792. I am just large and in charge.

793. I'm The Muppets Take Manhattan, okay?

794. I have a reputation of being, like, loud and outspoken.

795. I got a lot to say, and I will not be silent.

796. The fireworks show is on—ooh—

797. Oh, clean brushes. Thank God.

798. I am literally gonna light this place up.

799. Ah, fire. Oh, my gosh, did I just do, like, Showgirls?

800. I did!

801. Whoo!

802. The Mackie doll is finally out of her box.

803. I'm Kahmora Hall,

804. and I'm Chicago's premiere Mackie Barbie doll.

805. Kahmora Hall is always living that rich, white woman fantasy.

806. She is just dripping in luxury.

807. You can smell the privilege off of her.

808. And my drag is all about the glitz and glam.

809. Shine and sparkle never go out of style.

810. - Hey! - Hi!

811. Oh, my God, Miss Big Red, how are you?

812. Mwah, mwah!

813. - Kahmora Hall. - Kahmora Hall?

814. Kah-mora, okay?

815. Not Kim-mora, Kah-mora.

816. - Get it right. - Kahmora Hall, got it.

817. That's right.

818. - Tina Burner. - Oh, I know you, girl.

819. I know who Tina Burner is.

820. She is a local legend,

821. and even though she's the only one there right now,

822. I just know that she's one to watch out for.

823. So who are you wearing?

824. I'm giving you a firefighter, honey.

825. I'm just giving you the whole Tina Burner experience

826. from head to toe.

827. I see.

828. You look like a sexy hot dog right now.

829. Kahmora is shady, bitch.

830. I'm, like, yes, you can be on Team Burner.

831. Oh!

832. Okay? Get into it.

833. White girls can't dance, huh?

834. My name is Elliott with 2 Ts,

835. and I'm the most famous drag queen

836. you ain't never heard of.

837. My drag is very much a housewife with a secret.

838. I've been doing drag since I was 15 years old,

839. dancing, acting, singing.

840. I didn't practice my autograph since I was a baby for nothing.

841. She looks fun.

842. - Sis.

843. She got a windbreaker on and some pants,

844. and I'm just, like, sis,

845. do you just go power walking with my mom?

846. - Hi! - Hello, hello.

847. Hi. I'm Kahmora.

848. I'm Elliott with 2 Ts.

849. - Hi, Elliott with 2 Ts. - Hello.

850. All I can think about is ET.

851. Elliott...

852. And I was, like, ooh, girl.

853. She needs to phone home

854. and get a new outfit for the werkroom entrance, girl.

855. I've seen you before.

856. You were at a drag brunch in Las Vegas.

857. I sure was.

858. That's where I'm from.

859. Is this look very Vegas or something?

860. I'm just curious what your inspiration was.

861. Here we go with the shade.

862. That is not shade!

863. Here you go. Watch out for her.

864. Ooh, girl.

865. Is this really happening right now?

866. My queens, main stage, now.

867. Get to the main stage. Is that what they said?

868. I don't understand. What's going on?

869. Trying to raise my eyebrows, but they don't raise right now.

870. All that pumping.

871. Wait, let me get my purse!

872. Are they moving?

873. Welcome, ladies. Surprised to see me?

874. Say hello to the judges.

875. - Hello, judges. - Hi!

876. They're dying to get to know

877. a little bit more about each of you.

878. Starting with Tina Burner.

879. Little bit of a New York legend here with you.

880. I'm glad to see you here.

881. That just means I'm old.

882. Well, join the club, sweetheart.

883. You've got your whole fire department thing going on.

884. Does this speak to us and tell us who you are?

885. I'm, like, a campy, comedy, sassy queen.

886. So, like, Tina Burner, turn it and burn it,

887. burning down the house.

888. And so, we're here to put that fire out

889. with my large hose.

890. Yeah.

891. Sss.

892. Is it true that you were in a boy band

893. when you were 19 years old?

894. Yes, I was in a boy band.

895. After three years, I had to say Bye, Bye, Bye.

896. You guys are no longer N'Sync?

897. No. No. We're more like the Back Door Boys now, you know?

898. Well, that's a fascinating back story.

899. We got a lotta back going on today.

900. Back to you, Ru.

901. - Up next, Elliott. - Hi.

902. You look like a member of Exposé.

903. Okay.

904. Yes, I love that outfit.

905. Thank you.

906. What does it say about you?

907. I love an eighties throwback, I love a good structured moment.

908. I grew up as a dancer,

909. so the big dancing female divas of the eighties

910. really speak to me.

911. What kind of dancing did you grow up doing?

912. Well, not to Brooke Lynn Hytes myself,

913. but I was a ballet dancer my whole life,

914. and I worked on cruise ships for a while as a dancer.

915. And what was your favorite port of call?

916. My favorite was Cozumel.

917. You like to party, don't you?

918. A little bit. Just a little bit.

919. Last but not least, Kahmora Hall.

920. You know, I just watched

921. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls last night

922. again for the eightieth time,

923. and your hair is serving Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

924. That was definitely the inspiration.

925. You look stunning.

926. Thank you so much.

927. I really love this look that you have on.

928. Who's the designer?

929. It's an original Bob Mackie.

930. I bought it from an auction house,

931. and I just had to have it.

932. What?

933. They had it reconstructed to fit my body,

934. because I'm sample size.

935. - That is insane. - Wow.

936. I love it.

937. Kahmora Hall, any relation

938. to our queen Jaida Essence Hall?

939. Jaida Essence Hall is my big sister.

940. The House of Hall.

941. we're known for great shoulders and great clavicles.

942. Yes. That's always good to know.

943. Well, those are some very big shoes to fill.

944. She got some big feet, so, yeah.

945. Exactly.

946. Thank you, Kahmora.

947. Thank you.

948. Ladies, show of hands.

949. Who likes surprises?

950. - Me! - Love 'em!

951. Oh, goodie.

952. Three queens stand before me.

953. What?

954. Ladies, this is your first chance to impress me

955. and save yourself from getting the porkchop.

956. The time has come...

957. for you to lip sync...

958. .. for your life.

959. Nobody puts Burner in the corner, okay?

960. Because I'll tell you what.

961. I didn't come all this way to watch these bitches beat me.

962. Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

963. Thank God Bob Mackie works for all occasions.

964. I'm feeling confident and beautiful.

965. I'm killing it.

966. I'm a Clydesdale in this battle right now.

967. I'm not no little My Little Pony.

968. It is time to bury these girls.

969. Great.

970. Ladies, I've made my decision.

971. This is not what day one is supposed to be.

972. I'm just trying not to throw up.

973. Ladies, I've made my decision.

974. I would give up masturbating for a year

975. just to hear, "Tina Burner, shantay you stay."

976. Tina Burner, shantay you stay.

977. Thank you so much.

978. Damn, I just won!

979. And the choices I made I will deal with.

980. That means Kahmora Hall and Elliott,

981. I'm sorry, my dears,

982. but you are both getting the porkchop.

983. Porkchop?

984. I don't like pork chops.

985. - Hey, ladies. - Hi!

986. - Hello! - Hi!

987. Okay, what is going on?

988. Hi, hi, hi.

989. I'm seeing all these other girls.

990. I see Denali, my Chicago sister.

991. I'm normally the queen

992. that knows all the twists and the gags and the goops.

993. But this is throwing me for a loop.

994. So you all just both lip synced.

995. - We just lip synced. - Yeah.

996. Oh, my God.

997. - Porkchop. - Yeah.

998. Welcome to all the people who went home first.

999. They can't send us home.

1000. They can kind of do whatever they want.

1001. No!

1002. I object.

1003. We're trying to figure out what's going on.

1004. This is what we've been talking about this whole time

1005. is is this the real tea?

1006. Here we all are in the porkchop lounge,

1007. who famously went home first.

1008. So is that what's gonna happen to all of us?

1009. I'm not okay with that.

1010. I wonder what the winners are doing right now?

1011. We won our first challenge, essentially.

1012. I know!

1013. Clearly Team Talent.

1014. Oh, shit.

1015. - Oh! - Aah!

1016. Yes!

1017. - Diva! - Winner's circle!

1018. Child, everyone in New York City

1019. knows Tina auditions every year,

1020. and God bless her heart.

1021. She is ancient.

1022. I love her to death,

1023. but she needed to get on before she died.

1024. - Hi, mama! - Hi!

1025. New York is in the house!

1026. Oh, goodness.

1027. Okay, we've got a New York girl

1028. that is a comedy queen and a campy queen.

1029. You always gotta watch out for those girls, honey,

1030. because they may not be gorg in the face,

1031. but that don't mean shit.

1032. Competition register locked.

1033. So I'm guessing you won your lip sync as well?

1034. I did. Did you?

1035. Mm, well, we're sitting right here, bitch.

1036. We're all the winner's circle, all right.

1037. - All right! - Winner's circle!

1038. I lip synced against a New York sister.

1039. Oh.

1040. Rosé.

1041. Rosé's here?

1042. Oh, here we go.

1043. Olivia beat Rosé in a lip sync?

1044. Miss Olivia Lux, who's been doing drag for 10 seconds?

1045. So I'm thinking Rosé's beside herself.

1046. Because, like, Rosé is, like,

1047. a little more of a seasoned queen.

1048. She got, you know, America's Got Talent.

1049. She is—"I was on The Voice," you know, "I can sing."

1050. Well, I guess you couldn't lip sync.

1051. Wait, so are the other girls gone?

1052. Do you think they're still here?

1053. - They have to be. - They have to be.

1054. - It's not us. - I have no idea.

1055. But what I do know is that we here.

1056. Aah!

1057. We're stunning, we're winners,

1058. and, baby, may the best woman win.

1059. Come on, Season 13!

1060. Yes!

1061. Did you guys lip sync against each other?

1062. It was us and then one other queen.

1063. Who were you against?

1064. Tina Burner.

1065. Oh, shit.

1066. She's here!

1067. Tina's from New York.

1068. So are you from New York, too?

1069. I'm from New York.

1070. And Tina won against you beauties.

1071. That fucking bitch.

1072. Me and Tina work in the same circles.

1073. I like Tina.

1074. I don't think Tina likes me.

1075. What in the heck do you think is about to happen next?

1076. We're gonna de-drag at the airport—

1077. Our picture's gonna be on the wall

1078. with the rest of the girls.

1079. Attention, queens in the porkchop loading dock.

1080. Oh, that's us.

1081. The departure van will be arriving soon.

1082. On behalf of the judges,

1083. we want to wish you safe travels,

1084. wherever your final destination may be.

1085. Okay, so everything I just said, forget it.

1086. I guess we're going home instead.

1087. Mm, girl, I told you.

1088. The lady said... go home.

1089. The lady said go home.

1090. For me, this is really, really emotional,

1091. because this means the world to me.

1092. Like, this is my dream.

1093. And, like, not getting to show the world anything

1094. of what kind of drag queen you are,

1095. it's just the period on a really shitty sentence.

1096. - Uh, Ru? - Yes?

1097. You do realize

1098. you just eliminated half of the cast, right?

1099. Oh.

1100. Oh, okay, hold up.

1101. Attention, queens in the porkchop loading dock.

1102. All is not lost.

1103. You all have a chance to return to the competition.

1104. First, you must give one of your fellow queens the chop.

1105. What kind of All Stars bull shit is this?

1106. This is just bonkers.

1107. We don't know each other!

1108. I repeat: You all have a chance to return to the competition,

1109. but first, you must give one of your fellow queens the chop.

1110. And remember, no matter what happens next,

1111. please enjoy a complimentary copy

1112. of my album, You're a Winner, Baby.

1113. Let the voting begin.

1114. Wait, for real-real?

1115. I don't know.

1116. But I'm the only Black girl, so don't vote me off.

1117. Oh, my God.

1118. Girl, we're gagged.

1119. We just met, and now we have to send one of us home.

1120. I thought I was already eliminated.

1121. Well, guess what, filler queen?

1122. You might be eliminated again.

1123. Next time onRuPaul's Drag Race...

1124. You need to perform a show-stopping version

1125. of my song Condragulations.

1126. You're somebody that I could not take my eye off of.

1127. Racers, more twists and turns

1128. are just around the corner.

1129. What the fuck?

1130. I don't wanna vote anyone off. I don't know any of you yet.

1131. We've literally just met.

1132. We have to vote someone off.

1133. This is a competition.

1134. This is what we signed up for.

1135. Shit's is about to go down.