1. UMPH!
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2. Captioning sponsored by
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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3. WHEE!
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4. LOOK, BETTY.
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5. IT'S THE DIAPER COMMERCIAL
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6. THE TWINS WERE IN.
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7. Tighties...
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8. THEY LOOK SO ANGELIC.
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9. THEY ARE CUTE,
BUT— WHOO!
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10. STILL GIVES ME
A HEADACHE
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11. JUST THINKING ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY.
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12. ANOTHER CUP
OF BAVARIAN MOCHA?
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13. SURE. I'LL HELP.
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14. WHAT'S WRONG, TOMMY?
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15. I DON'T GET IT.
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16. HOW CAN YOU BE HERE
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17. AND BE IN THE TV
AT THE SAME TIME?
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18. IT'S A "MERCHEL," TOMMY.
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19. A MERSHEL?
WHAT'S THAT?
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20. A COMMERCIAL.
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21. THAT'S WHEN THEY TAKE YOU
TO THIS BIG ROOM
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22. SHINE BRIGHT LIGHTS ON YOU,
AND SHOOT YOU.
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23. SHOOT YOU?
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24. UH-HUH. IT ALL STARTED
THAT MORNING
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25. WHEN MOMMY TOOK US
TO THE TV PLACE.
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26. MOMMY WAS SO EXCITED WE WERE
GOING TO BE IN A COMMERCIAL
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27. SHE CLEANED US UP EXTRA GOOD
AND BOUGHT US NEW CLOTHES
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28. AND WHEN
WE FINALLY GOT THERE...
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29. OH, ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL.
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30. YOU MUST BE
MRS. DEVILLE.
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31. I'M BOB,
THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR.
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32. OH, YES.
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33. AND THESE MUST BE
OUR LITTLE STARS
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34. PHIL AND LIL.
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35. THEY SURE LOOK BRIGHT-EYED
AND BUSHY-TAILED.
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36. YOU COME WITH ME.
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37. THESE ARE OUR CLIENTS
FROM SNOW, STEELE, AND TRICKUM.
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38. THIS IS MR. SNOW.
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39. MR. STEELE.
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40. AND MR. TRICKUM.
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41. NICE TO MEET
YOU GENTLEMEN.
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42. THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU.
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43. THEY'RE ADVERTISING
EXECUTIVES.
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44. I HAVE GIVEN
YOU EVERYTHING!
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45. SO THEN SHE SAID
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46. "WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T SELL THAT POODLE."
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47. WHAT'S HESUPPOSED TO BE?
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48. I DON'T KNOW.
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49. MAYBE HE'S
SOME KIND OF CLOWN.
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50. OH, WOW.
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51. SOMETIMES I AM TOO MUCH.
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52. THAT'S JOHNATHAN WIT,
OUR DIRECTOR.
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53. HE'LL BE WANTING TO MEET
YOU AND THE KIDS RIGHT AWAY.
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54. EXCUSE ME. JOHNATHAN?
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55. UH, BUD, ISN'T IT?
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56. IT'S BOB, ACTUALLY.
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57. I'M YOUR SISTER'S HUSBAND?
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58. OH, RIGHT.
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59. THIS IS MRS. DEVILLE.
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60. SHE'S THE MOTHER
OF THE TW...
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61. THE PYRAMID.
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62. THE DIAPER BOX PYRAMID
I HAD IN MY DREAM!
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63. THE COLORS, THE ANGLES,
THE PLACEMENT.
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64. I LOVE THIS PYRAMID!
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65. HE REALLY LIKES DIAPERS.
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66. YEAH. HE MUST NOT
BE POTTY TRAINED YET.
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67. SIR, THIS IS
THE MOTHER OF THE TWINS.
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68. TWINS? WHAT TWINS?
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69. THE STARS
OF THE COMMERCIAL.
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70. OH, RIGHT.
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71. YOU'RE LATE.
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72. VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.
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73. GET THESE LITTLE
WHATCHAMACALLITS...
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74. BABIES.
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75. YEAH, BABIES.
GET THEM INTO MAKEUP.
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76. I'VE GOT TO CENTER.
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77. WE'LL TAKE THE KIDS
FROM HERE, MRS. DEVILLE.
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78. NOW LISTEN
TO THE NICE MAKEUP PEOPLE
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79. AND BREAK A L...
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80. I MEAN, UH, GOOD LUCK.
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81. MAKEUP, BABIES FLYING IN.
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82. MAKEUP WAS LIKE NOTHING
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83. WE'D EVER SEEN
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84. ADULTS EVERYWHERE,
POKING US AND COMBING US
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85. AND POOFING US.
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86. WE'RE READY ON THE SET.
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87. FROM THEN ON,
WE WERE IN SHOW BUSINESS.
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88. QUIET!
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89. PHIL, YOU WANT
THOSE DIAPERS.
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90. THEY REPRESENT
A HIGHER STATE OF BEING.
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91. NOW I WANT YOU TO CRAWL
TO THE DIAPER BOX, LOOK LEFT
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92. THEN SMILE AT THE CAMERA
AND WINK LIKE THIS.
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93. GOT IT?
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94. ROLL CAMERAS.
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95. ROLL CAMERAS!
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96. ROLLING!
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97. SPEED.
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98. MARKER.
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99. AND... ACTION.
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100. ACTION.
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101. CUT!
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102. WHAT IS WITH THIS KID?
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103. I AM GIVING AND NOT
GETTING ANYTHING BACK.
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104. IF YOU'D JUST...
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105. GET THE MOTHER!
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106. IT'S THE NINTH INNING,
AND THE SCORE IS TIED.
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107. THEN STRAWBERRY HITS ONE
RIGHT OVER THE OLD FENCE.
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108. NO. IT WAS
A RIGHT FIELD FENCE.
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109. WE NEED YOUR HELP.
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110. WOULD YOU MIND
LOOKING AFTER HER?
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111. HE JUST DOESN'T SEEM
TO WANT TO MOVE.
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112. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
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113. WHENEVER
YOU'RE READY, SIR.
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114. ROLL CAMERAS.
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115. ROLL CAMERAS!
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116. ROLLING!
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117. SPEED!
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118. ACTION.
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119. COME ON, PHIL.
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120. THAT'S MOMMY'S
BIG BOY.
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121. YOU CAN DO IT,
PHILLY.
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122. GO FOR THE DIAPERS.
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123. CUT!
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124. I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!
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125. A HEADACHE, BUD,
NOT A NECK ACHE.
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126. THIS KID IS NOT WORKING!
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127. IT'S BOB, SIR.
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128. I'LL GET THE OTHER BABY.
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129. HEY, WHERE'S THE KID?
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130. I DON'T KNOW.
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131. WE CAN'T FIND
THE OTHER BABY.
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132. WHAT? LIL!
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133. WHERE'S MY BABY?
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134. WHERE IS SHE,
YOU BIG YUTZ?
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135. UP THERE!
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136. MY BABY!
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137. OH, MY HEAD.
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138. WHOO!
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139. HANG ON, BABY!
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140. I'LL SAVE YOU!
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141. THAT'S IT.
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142. YOU GOT HER.
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143. A LITTLE HIGHER.
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144. MY... MY...
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145. MY CAMERA!
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146. WHOA!
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147. WHEE!
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148. MY CAMERA!
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149. MY BABY!
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150. MY PYRAMID.
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151. NO! NO! NOT MY PYRAMID!
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152. AW, COME ON, KID!
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153. GIVE ME A BREAK!
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154. NOT MY PYRAMID!
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155. WHEE!
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156. OH, LIL!
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157. MY LITTLE BABY!
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158. OH! THANK HEAVENS
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
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159. GET... OFF...
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160. MY... SET!
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161. YOU ALMOST DESTROYED
A BRILLIANT MASTERPIECE.
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162. I'VE BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS
SIX YEARS
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163. AND NOBODY, NOBODY
HAS EVER..!
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164. YOU'LL NEVER WORK
IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!
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165. I HAVE SACRIFICED
FOR YOU!
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166. I HAVE BEEN LIKE
A FATHER TO YOU, LEO
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167. AND THIS IS
HOW YOU THANK ME?
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168. GOOD. THANK YOU, LEO.
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169. YOU WANT TO DO
THE GOLF THING?
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170. HEY, IT'S 10:30.
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171. LET'S SEE
THAT PLAYBACK.
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172. P-PLAYBACK?
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173. HEY, THIS IS GREAT
STUFF, JOHNATHAN.
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174. I LOVE IT.
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175. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.
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176. YOU'RE A LOT BETTER
THAN WE THOUGHT.
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177. SO THAT'S HOW
YOU GET IN THE TV.
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178. YEP. THAT'S HOW
YOU GET IN THE TV.
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179. HMM?
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180. HELLO, MRS. DEVILLE.
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181. NOW, LOOK.
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182. I TOLD YOU, MR. WIT,
NO MORE COMMERCIALS.
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183. I'VE GOT TO HAVE THOSE KIDS.
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184. NO, SIR. GOOD-BYE.
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185. YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR ME OUT.
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186. THOSE KIDS ARE BRILLIANT.
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187. THEY'RE GENIUSES.
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188. THEY'RE FANTABULOUS.
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189. HEY, KIDS, TELL YOUR MOM
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190. HOW MUCH FUN IT WAS WORKING
WITH JOHNATHAN. OKAY?
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191. PLEASE TELL HER!
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192. I'VE GOT CANDY.
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193. HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?
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194. I'LL GET YOU
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195. TOYS, GAMES,
YOUR OWN DRESSING ROOM.
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196. IT WILL BE DIFFERENT!
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197. I PROMISE!
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198. HMM...
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199. PICKLES NEEDS THIS TEN-FOOT PUTT
FOR A BIRDIE
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200. AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP.
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201. POP?
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202. FIDDLESTICKS.
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203. POP?
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204. POP, HAVE YOU SEEN TOMMY?
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205. TOMMY WHO?
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206. THAT A BOY, TOMMY.
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207. GOOD ARM.
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208. THERE YOU ARE.
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209. HEY, WHERE YOU GOING
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210. WITH MY CADDIE?
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211. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BABY-SIT TODAY, POP.
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212. I'M TAKING TOMMY TO SCHOOL.
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213. SCHOOL? THE LITTLE FELLA'S
ONLY ONE YEAR OLD.
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214. IT'S JUST FOR A VISIT.
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215. I'M TEACHING THE KIDS
HOW TO DIAPER BABIES
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216. AND I'M BRINGING TOMMY
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217. AS A... A LEARNING AID.
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218. YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT.
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219. HE'S NOTHING BUT A MONKEY
TO YOU PEOPLE.
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220. SAY GOOD-BYE
TO GRANDPA, TOMMY.
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221. SO, WHO'S GOING
TO CADDIE FOR ME?
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222. MAYBE SPIKE WANTS THE JOB.
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223. SPIKE, FETCH.
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224. OH, FIDDLESTICKS.
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225. THIS IS A BABY.
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226. AH...
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227. HIS NAME IS TOMMY,
AND HE'S ONE YEAR OLD.
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228. ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS
BEFORE WE MOVE ON?
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229. I GOT A QUESTION.
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230. WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
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231. OH, UM, I'M GLAD
YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION, STEVE.
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232. HOW TO CHANGE A DIRTY DIAPER.
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233. EWW!
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234. ANY VOLUNTEERS?
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235. OH, WOW, MAN.
UH-HUH.
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236. HOW ABOUT EXTRA CREDIT.
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237. UH...
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238. EWW.
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239. EWW!
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240. WHOA!
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241. DARE YOU TO STICK
YOUR FACE IN IT.
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242. THAT IS ONE
BODACIOUS LOAD.
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243. HE'S MINE.
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244. IT'S ROCKO.
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245. Boy #1:
OH, MAN.
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246. Boy #2:
I THOUGHT HE GOT...
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247. IS THERE SOMETHING
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248. YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE
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249. WITH THE CLASS, RAMON?
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250. YECK!
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251. EWW!
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252. GROSS!
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253. YECH!
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254. VERY COOL.
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255. WHEW.
WHEW.
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256. I DUB THEE
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257. LITTLE DUDE.
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258. THANK YOU, CLASS—
AND THANK YOU, RAMON.
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259. DON'T MENTION IT, MRS. P.
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260. I GOT A BROTHER HIS AGE,
SO I'M USED TO IT.
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261. SEE YOU
AROUND CAMPUS, KID.
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262. MRS. PICKLES, CAN WE PLAY
WITH TOMMY FOR A WHILE?
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263. WE'LL BE CAREFUL,
WE PROMISE.
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264. PLEASE, MRS. PICKLES.
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265. WELL...
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266. CAN WE? SAY YES.
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267. OKAY. I NEED TO TAKE
A LUNCH BREAK ANYWAY.
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268. BRING HIM TO ME
AT THE FACULTY LOUNGE
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269. IF HE GETS FUSSY.
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270. YOU BE A GOOD BOY, SWEETIE.
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271. MMM-WAH.
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272. SO I TOLD HIM,
"LIKE FORGET IT.
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273. "I MEAN, GET REAL FOR ONCE.
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274. I'M A HUMAN BEING TOO,
YOU KNOW."
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275. OH, MY GOSH.
THERE HE IS— NUMBER 12.
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276. WHO'S THE KID?
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277. YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND?
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278. YOU ARE SO IMMATURE.
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279. HEY, KIRSTEN
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280. YOU GOING
TO WATCH ME PRACTICE TONIGHT?
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281. WHY SHOULD I?
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282. YOU WON'T BE WATCHING
YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND.
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283. OH, MY GOSH!
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284. OKAY. WE'D BETTER SPLIT UP.
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285. PAMELA, YOU TAKE THE GYM.
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286. STEPHANIE, THE LIBRARY.
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287. HE CAN'T GET VERY FAR.
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288. I MEAN HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO WALK YET. DOES HE?
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289. UGH!
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290. WHOA...
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291. WHOA, HO, HO...
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292. WHOA...
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293. DID THE LUNCH BELL RING
A MINUTE AGO?
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294. 20 MINUTES AGO, ROCKO.
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295. TAKE A BREAK, WOULD YOU?
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296. DO YOU THINK THIS
WILL AFFECT OUR GRADE?
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297. PAMELA, DON'T PANIC.
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298. THINK LIKE A BABY.
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299. NOW, IF YOU WERE A BABY,
WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
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300. HEY...
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301. I JUST HAD THIS... WASHED!
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302. WHO'S THE WISE GUY?
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303. FOOD FIGHT!
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304. YOU AGAIN?
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305. HOLD IT!
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306. I'LL TAKE THAT.
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307. OKAY.
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308. TOMMY?
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309. I'M SO GLAD
YOU FOUND HIM.
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310. IS HE ALL RIGHT?
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311. NATURALLY. HE'S THE LITTLE DUDE.
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312. OH, THERE YOU ARE.
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313. I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
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314. WAS HE ANY TROUBLE?
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315. WE HAVE A BETTER IDEA
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316. OF WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO HAVE CHILDREN.
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317. TOTALLY.
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318. THAT'S NICE.
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319. SEE YOU AROUND,
GANG...
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320. ESPECIALLY YOU, LITTLE DUDE.
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321. HOW'D EVERYTHING GO
TODAY?
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322. IT WAS VERY EDUCATIONAL,
WASN'T IT, TOMMY?
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323. SO, WHAT DID YOU LEARN
IN SCHOOL TODAY, SCOUT?
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324. I'M TELLING YOU—
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325. THAT KID'S GOT
AN ARM ON HIM.
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326. OH, WHAT AN ARM. WHAT AN ARM.
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327. Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation
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