Robot Chicken 2x5

Directed by

Macaulay Culkin as Vampire #2 / Bastian / Co-anchor

People of all ages (including actor Bruce Campbell) love the new toy, "Morning Wood!" A man's groin is possessed in "Idle Nuts". Live in fear when a giant midget attacks! A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Atreyu and Falkor kick off a Neverending Party! An Omaha evening news broadcast spins out of control, with Paris Hilton as a weather reporter, and traffic copters anxiously watching a car, parodying Spy Hunter!

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. ROBOT CHICKEN 26 >> HA HA HA!

2. >> IT'S ALIVE!

3. >> HA HA HA!

4. HA HA HA!

5. >> MAN, GREG IS REALLY PISSIN' ME OFF.

6. >> BIG GREG OR LITTLE GREG?

7. >> LITTLE GREG IN ACCOUNTING.

8. >> YEAH, HE'S A PRICK.

9. >> TO 25 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

10. >> TO EVIL!

11. >> TO 30 DAYS OF SOBRIETY.

12. OH, CRAP.

13. >> ♪ WHEN YOU WAKE UP

14. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT YOU SEE?

15. >> WELL, HELLO, MORNING WOOD!

16. >> BILLY, WERE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR MORNING WOOD?

17. >> NO.

18. >> NO NEED TO BE EMBARRASSED, HONEY.

19. YOUR DAD HAS MORNING WOOD, TOO.

20. >> ♪ LOOK AROUND YOUR

21. >> HELLO, I'M BRUCE CAMPBELL, AND I CAN'T START MY DAY WITHOUT

22. WAXING MY MORNING WOOD.

23. >> MORNING WOOD.

24. CHUBBY.

25. >> IF BILL GATES OFFERED YOU

26. ASS SLAVE FOR A YEAR, WOULD YOU DO IT?

27. >> NO WAY!

28. NEVER.

29. >> ASS SLAVE?

30. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

31. >> OK.

32. MIKE, HOW MUCH WOULD IT TAKE—

33. YOUR NUTS?

34. >> UH...

35. 2 MILLION DOLLARS.

36. >> DONE!

37. >> HA, NOW, I'M GONNA GET THE MONEY, PROMISE?

38. >> >> OF COURSE, DUDE.

39. YOU RULE.

40. >> AH— AAH—IT'S HEAVIER THAN

41. I THOUGHT!

42. >> >> I CAN DO A NUT TRANSPLANT,

43. BUT IT'LL COST EXACTLY 2 MILLION DOLLARS.

44. >> OH, MAN.

45. >> PLUS TAX.

46. >> OH, MAN!

47. >> WELCOME HOME, DUDE.

48. YOU'RE A LEGEND TO US, HOMBRE,

49. YOU'RE NUTS.

50. NUTS!

51. GET IT?

52. WITH THAT.

53. >> OH, MY GOD!

54. >> OH, MY GOD!

55. DAMN IT, DOCTOR, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

56. >> I'M SORRY, MIKE, ALL WE HAD

57. OF A SERIAL KILLER.

58. >> NO!

59. >> "IDLE NUTS," STARRING JESSICA ALBA.

60. >> YOU KNOW, I'D WANT TO ATTACK

61. WEREN'T POSSESSED.

62. >> UH... THANKS?

63. AAH!

64. >> "IDLE NUTS."

65. ALSO STARRING SETH GREEN.

66. >> WOO!

67. I'M A POT SMOKIN' CORPSE, BOTTLE IN MY HEAD,

68. BOO, HOO, HOO!

69. >> GOTTA STOP THE MADNESS!

70. AAH!

71. AAH!

72. >> HI, I'M BILL GATES.

73. AND WONDERED IF YOU'D BE MY

74. ASS SLAVE FOR A BILLION DOLLARS?

75. >> I'LL GET MY COAT.

76. >> THEY SAID IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN, BUT THEY WERE WRONG.

77. >> AAH!

78. >> "ATTACK OF THE GIANT MIDGET!"

79. AS THE ABOMINATION RUNS AMOK.

80. >> GIANT MIDGET—RUN!

81. >> AAH!

82. AAH!

83. >> TREMBLE WITH TERROR WHEN THE CREATURE CANNOT BE STOPPED.

84. >> AAH!

85. AAH!

86. AAH!

87. RAA!

88. RAA!

89. >> WITNESS THE BEAST DEVOURING EVERYTHING IN HIS PATH.

90. >> >> NOTHING IS BEYOND

91. HIS REACH...

92. NOT EVEN YOU.

93. THINK YOU CAN RUN?

94. THINK YOU CAN HIDE?

95. THINK AGAIN.

96. >> >> "ATTACK OF THE GIANT MIDGET!"

97. >> OW!

98. >> YES, A MERMAID!

99. >> THIS HOOK HURTS.

100. >> OOH, NOW GIVE ME MY 3 WISHES.

101. >> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

102. THERE'S A HOOK IN MY FACE!

103. >> YOU MEAN MERMAIDS DON'T GRANT WISHES?

104. >> THAT'S GENIES, YOU ASS.

105. >> OH, MAN.

106. I'VE WASTED THE LAST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE.

107. >> HOWEVER, I HAPPEN TO BE

108. A MERMAID.

109. >> WHAT A TWIST.

110. >> OOH, I'M BRUCE WAYNE.

111. MEH, NA NA NA NA.

112. HEH.

113. HUH.

114. WHOA!

115. AAH!

116. AAH!

117. OH, MY KNEE!

118. AAH!

119. >> WHEW.

120. I'M SO BORED, FALKOR.

121. IS ANYTHING GOING ON TONIGHT?

122. >> OH, NOTHING, ATREYU.

123. NOTHING.

124. >> WHAT'S BASTIAN UP TO?

125. >> "AND THEN THE BOY TOOK A BIG CRAP."

126. HEY, I'M TAKING A BIG CRAP.

127. WOW!

128. >> EVERYONE IN FANTASIA'S DOING NOTHING.

129. >> >> IT'S LIKE WE'VE BEEN HIT

130. BY A NOTHING STORM!

131. I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A NEVERENDING PARTY!

132. >> WOO, HOO!

133. >> ♪ BUY SOME BOOZE EVERY CHEAP 40

134. CALL UP ALL THE CRAZY— ♪ >> MM, THOSE LOOK LIKE BIG,

135. STRONG HANDS.

136. >> DON'T THEY?

137. >> CAN YOU OPEN THIS FOR ME?

138. AH, HA HA HA!

139. SPRAY IT ALL OVER ME!

140. AH, HA HA HA!

141. >> WE ARE SO...

142. WASTED.

143. >> SAY MY NAME, BASTIAN.

144. SAY MY NAME!

145. >> >> THIS PARTY IS ENDING

146. RIGHT NOW!

147. >> WEST SIDE.

148. >> GOOD EVENING, OMAHA.

149. AND OMA HOW ARE YA?

150. IT'S FLU SEASON.

151. ROSS HATHAWAY HAS THE STORY.

152. >> FLU SEASON MEANS TRIPS TO THE PHARMACY, MISSED WORK,

153. SHIRT SLEEVES.

154. BUT SURPRISINGLY, GIANT ROBOTS ARE THE HARDEST HIT.

155. >> THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER

156. INSURANCE, BUT EVEN A RANGER CAN GET THE FLU AND CALL IN SICK.

157. AH, BEING A ZORD DOWN REALLY LEAVES THE RANGERS IN A BAD WAY.

158. >> ALSO EFFECTED WAS VOLTRON.

159. AND THE MENACING DEVASTATOR.

160. >> WE NOW TAKE YOU TO OUR EYE IN THE SKY FOR TODAY'S

161. LIVE CAR CHASE.

162. >> OFFICERS ARE IN PURSUIT OF

163. STOP.

164. GOOD LORD!

165. TO BE ON FIRE!

166. NO, IT'S A SMOKE SCREEN!

167. WHOA!

168. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

169. >> MORE LATER AS THE STORY DEVELOPS.

170. NOW, SHOCKING AMATEUR NEWS

171. WITH IT.

172. >> GIVE ME THAT!

173. >> NO!

174. HELP, POLICE!

175. >> THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR, UH—UNDERDOG IS HERE!

176. >> HOLY BALLS!

177. YOU'RE A TALKIN' DOG!

178. >> A TALKING DOG?

179. REALLY?

180. >> GREAT ASS MOSES!

181. >> CAN YOU SPEAK?

182. CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING, DOGGIE?

183. >> UH, OK.

184. UH, TH—THERE'S NO NEED— >> HE TALKS!

185. HE REALLY TALKS!

186. >> A TALKING DOG!

187. >> THAT'S IT— >> HOLY—

188. >> THE DOG CAN FLY!

189. >> AND IT FLIES!

190. >> AND NOW, THE WEATHER,

191. PARIS HILTON.

192. >> IT'S HOT.

193. >> MY EAR IS SAYING SOMETHING TO ME.

194. THERE'S NEW DEVELOPMENTS IN THAT FREEWAY POLICE CHASE.

195. >> THE SPORTS CAR IS NOW TAILGATING A SEMI TRUCK.

196. HOLY—HE'S APPARENTLY GOT HIMSELF AN ACCOMPLICE,

197. BUT WAIT A MINUTE, THERE HE IS.

198. HE'S BACK ON THE ROAD.

199. OH, MY GOD!

200. GROUND TO AIR MISSILE!

201. >> APPARENTLY THAT WAS

202. ASSOCIATES AT CHANNEL 5.

203. ENTIRE NEWS TEAM.

204. ONCE LOVEABLE, THE SHIRT TALES

205. NEW T-SHIRTS.

206. >> LOOK, MAN, YOU CAN'T REACH

207. T-SHIRT SLOGANS LIKE "HUG ME."

208. >> YEAH!

209. >> IF IT GROWS IN THE GROUND, IT WAS MEANT FOR ME.

210. >> THAT'S RIGHT, SWEETHEART.

211. >> WHAT CAN I DO?

212. EVERY TIME I CHASE THEM,

213. FLYING CAR OF THEIRS.

214. SON OF A BITCH.

215. >> I'M JUST GETTING WORD THAT

216. THE KILLER SPORTS CAR.

217. >> WHY DON'T MOTORISTS REALIZE THEY JUST CAN'T OUTRUN

218. THE POLICE?

219. UNLESS THEY HAVE A SPEEDBOAT, LIKE THE ONE HE'S TAKING OFF IN

220. RIGHT NOW!

221. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'RE GETTING WORD OF PANIC

222. THROUGHOUT THE CITY.

223. FOR MORE.

224. >> A NEW WORM IS DELETING NOT ONLY THE PORN ON PEOPLE'S

225. HARD DRIVES, BUT ALL THE PORN ON THE INTERNET ENTIRELY.

226. >> WE'RE NOW SEEING LIVE FOOTAGE FROM DOWNTOWN BOSTON, WHERE

227. BROKEN DOWN.

228. >> I—I WAS ONLY HALFWAY DONE.

229. HALFWAY DONE!

230. >> WE NOW TAKE YOU TO

231. A PRESS CONFERENCE IS UNDERWAY.

232. >> MY FELLOW AMERICANS,

233. WILL FIND, CAPTURE, AND PUNISH

234. NATIONAL TRAGEDY.

235. LISTENIN', I HAVE ONLY THIS

236. TO SAY.

237. IT'S NOT FUNNY, MAN.

238. GIVE US BACK OUR PORN.

239. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

240. —www.ncicap.org—] >> STUPID MONKEY.