Robot Chicken 3x8

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An alien invasion isn't quite what it seems. Haunted houses are common, but not one with THIS kind of ghost! Can Bob the Builder take on the union? Probably. "Inside the Battlefield" revisits G.I. Joe's and Cobra's battle of the Weather Dominator, twenty years later.

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1. >> IT'S ALIVE!

2. >> IT'S ALIVE!

3. >> THERE'S 401k's, IRAs, ROTH IRAs, RETIREMENT FUNDS.

4. UH, WHAT IS IT?

5. >> WE JUST FOOLING WITH YOU,

6. MAN.

7. >> MAN, WE POOR AS

8. RETIREMENT INVESTING.

9. OH, MAN.

10. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING.

11. >> AND HOW DID THAT JOKE MAKE YOU FEEL?

12. BEFORE YOU ANSWER, LOOK AT THIS JOKE.

13. >> THERE'S 401k's, IRAs, ROTH IRAs, RETIREMENT FUNDS.

14. UM, WHAT IS IT?

15. >> WE JUST FOOLING WITH YOU,

16. MAN.

17. >> MAN, WE POOR AS

18. RETIREMENT INVESTING.

19. OH, MAN.

20. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING.

21. >> AND HOW DID THAT JOKE MAKE YOU FEEL?

22. ARE YOU LEARNING SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF?

23. BEFORE YOU ANSWER THAT, LOOK AT THIS JOKE.

24. >> AHHH!

25. >> WELL, IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT, YOU HAVE AN ERECTION

26. AND REGRET THAT YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR GREAT-GRANDPARENTS.

27. >> OH, MY GOD, SAVE US!

28. >> RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

29. >> NO!

30. AHHHH!

31. >> DAMN IT, NO! NOT THAT ONE.

32. THAT'S THE CLAW.

33. YOU DON'T NEED THE CLAW.

34. OKAY, EASE BACK ON — NO!

35. DON'T TOUCH — NO!

36. STOP!

37. OKAY, DON'T — HANG ON!

38. GO LEFT!

39. LEFT, LEFT, LEFT!

40. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST THE BET AND HAVE TO SPEND THE NIGHT

41. IN THIS OLD HAUNTED HOUSE.

42. >> THAT'S AN ODDLY COMPLETE SUMMARY OF OUR PREDICAMENT.

43. >> UM, WE'RE GOING THIS WAY.

44. >> YEAH, TO HIDE THE PICKLE IN THE HAIR SANDWICH.

45. >> THAT JUST MEANS THEY WON'T GET INTO HEAVEN.

46. >> WELL, I GUESS I'LL GO FIND AN EMPTY ROOM TO MASTURBATE IN.

47. >> SWEET.

48. >> LOOK AT ME.

49. I'M FALL OUT BOY.

50. OH, DEAN, YOU'RE THE COOLEST.

51. >> WHOA!

52. >> DEAN?

53. DEAN?

54. I'VE GOT TO GET HELP.

55. >> RAPE GHOST.

56. >> WHAT?

57. >> RAPE GHOST!

58. >> MAYBE THERE'S AN OLD MEDICAL

59. BOOK WITH PICTURES OF BOOBS IN IT.

60. AH!

61. WHAT?

62. HEY!

63. OH, OH, OH!

64. R-R-R-R-RAPE GHOST!

65. IT STOLE MY BLACK CHERRY.

66. >> OH, MY GOD.

67. WHERE'S TINA?

68. >> GEE, I HOPE THE RAPE GHOST DOESN'T GET ME.

69. OH.

70. WHAT'S BETTER THAN ROSES ON YOUR PIANO?

71. TULIPS ON YOUR ORGAN.

72. TOODLES.

73. COME BACK ANYTIME.

74. >> EVEN ME?

75. >> EW, NO!

76. >>

77. >> TIMBER!

78. >> WHY, SOMEONE LEFT THIS JOB HALF DONE.

79. CAN WE FIX IT?

80. >> YES, WE CAN!

81. >> AIN'T NOBODY FINISHING NOTHING.

82. >> I'M SORRY, WHO ARE YOU?

83. >> WE'RE FROM THE UNION, AND WE SAY YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT

84. EQUIPMENT FOR THIS JOB.

85. >> WE HAVE ALL THE EQUIPMENT WE NEED.

86. >> REALLY?

87. YOU GOT A TALKING BRIEFCASE FULL OF HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILLS OVER

88. THERE?

89. >> NO, BUT — OH, OKAY.

90. THAT'S, YOU KNOW — OH, WHOA!

91. HEY!

92. >> HA HA HA!

93. CAN I PLAY, TOO?

94. >> SURE, ASSHOLE.

95. HOPE YOU LIKE SMELLING WHAT YOU ATE.

96. >> SPUD!

97. DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES.

98. >> OH, THANKS, BOB.

99. >> WHEW! ROCK AND ROLL!

100. >> OH! OH! OH!

101. AHH!

102. >> NOW DIG THESE MOTHER A GRAVE, SCOOP.

103. >> NO PROB, BOB.

104. EW, NEW JERSEY SMELLS LIKE BAD TUNA.

105. CAN WE GO HOME?

106. >> All: YES, WE CAN!

107. YAY!

108. >> SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S 200

109. SQUARE FEET, NEW CARPETING, TONS OF SPACE UNDER THE BED, AND THE

110. BOY SCARES EASY.

111. >> DOES HE — DOES HE WET THE BED?

112. >> LIKE A FAUCET.

113. >> I LOVE IT.

114. >> WE LOVE IT.

115. >> MY NAME IS SONNY, AND I'M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.

116. >> All: HI, SONNY.

117. >> YEP, NEVER MARRIED, NEVER HAD KIDS, BUT I'VE GOT MY TRAIN SET.

118. ALL ABOARD.

119. WHOO-WHOO!

120. NEXT STOP, LONELYVILLE.

121. WHOO-WHOO!

122. HA HA. LUCKY? YOU BET.

123. WHOO-WHOO!

124. WHAT'S WRONG, COWBOY CURTIS?

125. >> I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE CANCER.

126. >> THAT'S OUR SECRET WORD OF THE

127. DAY.

128. >> PEE-WEE, PEE-WEE, SERIOUSLY.

129. HE SAID IT'S MALIGNANT.

130. >> WHAT'S MALIGNANT?

131. >> THE CANCER.

132. >> EXPERIENCE MILITARY COMBAT

133. LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

134. THIS IS "INSIDE THE BATTLEFIELD — THE WEATHER

135. DOMINATOR."

136. SEPTEMBER 10, 1984 — MOTHER NATURE WAS ON THE RAG.

137. WAS IT MERELY HER TIME OF THE

138. MONTH?

139. >> BOW BEFORE COBRA AND MY WEATHER DOMINATOR, OR I'LL CRANK

140. UP THE HUMIDITY SO HIGH NO ASS CRACK WILL EVER BE DRY AGAIN.

141. AN ETERNITY OF SWAMP ASS.

142. >> MY GOSH, THAT COULD SEND OIL

143. PRICES SKYROCKETING.

144. >> CAN YOU IMAGINE GASOLINE FOR OVER $1 A GALLON?

145. >> G.I. JOE, THE NATION'S ELITE ANTI-TERRORIST TASK FORCE WITH

146. THE NATION'S LEAST OPPRESSIVE DRESS CODE, LEAPT INTO ACTION.

147. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, TWO TOP JOES WERE CAPTURED AND FORCED TO DUAL

148. IN THE COBRA SPORTATORIUM IN A DESPERATE BID TO DRIVE

149. CONCESSION SALES.

150. >> THAT WAS CRAZY.

151. IMAGINE IF THE NAZIS HAD CAPTURED EISENHOWER AND PUT THE

152. WAR ON PAUSE SO THEY COULD WATCH HIM FIGHT A MUTE DUDE IN A NINJA

153. OUTFIT.

154. NO OFFENSE, SNAKE EYES.

155. OH, GREAT, THE ETCH A SKETCH.

156. I CAN'T EVEN READ THAT.

157. >> MUCH LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS' FRAGILE PSYCHE, THE WEATHER

158. DOMINATOR WAS SPLIT INTO THREE FRAGMENTS AND SCATTERED AROUND

159. THE EARTH.

160. >> WHICH WAS KIND OF A SHOCKER.

161. THE COMPLEXITY OF A WEATHER DOMINATOR — YOU'D THINK MORE

162. THAN THREE PIECES, BUT NO.

163. >> DESTRO, HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

164. >> LIKE THIS.

165. >> THUS WAS LAUNCHED A THREE-FRONTED BATTLE, ENGAGED

166. FIRST ON THE ISLAND OF NO RETURN — TODAY A SANDALS

167. RESORT.

168. >> I SIGNED UP TO TRAVEL THE WORLD, PAY FOR COLLEGE, AND

169. SHOOT LASERS AT GUYS IN MASKS, WHICH HAD ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM OF

170. MINE.

171. THEN I HEARD WE WERE GOING TO THE ISLAND OF NO RETURN.

172. I MEAN, WHO THE SENDS A 19-YEAR-OLD KID TO...

173. I MEAN MAN.

174. >> SOME ATTEMPTING TO RETURN FROM THE ISLAND OF NO RETURN

175. WOULD FIND RETURNING DIFFICULT.

176. >> MY DEAREST CLARA, THIS IS OUR FOURTH DAY ON THE ISLAND OF NO

177. RETURN.

178. WE'VE BEEN CIRCLING AROUND, LOOKING FOR AN ION CORRELATER.

179. >> ... TO STOP COBRA FROM COMPILING THEIR WEATHER

180. DOMINATOR.

181. FOOD IS SCARCE, AND MORALE IS LOW.

182. BLAM.

183. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT LAST PART.

184. >> THAT LAST PART WAS MORRIE GETTING SHOT.

185. >> OH, THAT MAKES SENSE NOW.

186. OH!

187. OH, MORRIE!

188. NEXT, THE FIGHT FOR THE HYDROMASTER FRAGMENT ERUPTED IN

189. ANOTHER REMOTE LOCALE — THE PALACE OF DOOM.

190. >> OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MY MOTHER-IN-LAW'S HOUSE.

191. I KID, BUT SERIOUSLY, DON'T

192. MARRY JEWISH.

193. >> ZARTAN, WE'RE LATE FOR SEDER.

194. >> KILL ME.

195. >> MEANWHILE, THE BATTLE FOR THE FINAL FRAGMENT LED TO AN

196. IMPROMPTU HOCKEY GAME.

197. >> THAT WAS THE MOST FUN I EVER HAD AS A JOE.

198. >> IT WAS PRETTY HILARIOUS.

199. WE SHOULD HAVE ALL BEEN COURT-MARTIALED.

200. >> FIRING LASERS AT THE LAST PIECE OF THE WEATHER DOMINATOR

201. WORTH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS — WHOA, COBRA COMMANDER WOULD HAVE

202. HAD OUR NUTS FOR THAT.

203. AND SPEAKING OF NUTS — >> SO COLD, SHRINKAGE ON AN EPIC

204. SCALE.

205. >> OH-HO, MY SCROTUM WAS LIKE THE SIZE OF A WALNUT.

206. >> I THINK MY TESTICLES MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY RETRACTED INTO MY

207. BODY.

208. IT WAS LIKE REVERSE PUBERTY.

209. >> I WAS QUITE COMFORTABLE.

210. >> A LAST-DITCH ASSAULT ON THE COBRA STRONGHOLD DECIDED THE

211. FINAL OUTCOME.

212. G.I. JOE HAD EMPHATICALLY PLANTED AN AMERICAN FLAG IN

213. COBRA'S ASS — BOTH METAPHORICALLY AND, IN ONE

214. UNFORTUNATE CASE, QUITE LITERALLY.

215. >> WE FLEW IN, BEAT THEM LIKE MIXED-RACE STEPCHILDREN, AND

216. COBRA COMMANDER WENT TO PRISON.

217. AND HE PROMPTLY ESCAPED.

218. WHEW, BOY, THE OTHER COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD WERE PISSED.

219. THEY WANTED HIM PUT TO DEATH IMMEDIATELY, BUT WE KIND OF

220. DRAGGED OUR HEELS, AND BY THAT TIME, ZARTAN HAD BUSTED HIM OUT

221. WITH A WICKER-BASKET THING AND A REMOTE-CONTROL SNAKE OR

222. SOMETHING.

223. OH, GOOD TIMES.

224. GOOD TIMES.

225. OH, FOR GOD SAKES, JUST STOP IT.

226. BA-GAWK! BAWK.