1. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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2. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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3. >> I KNOW I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN
DER BEST HUSBAND.
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4. >> THAT'S THE SMARTEST THING TO
EVER COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
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5. >> HEY, YOU WANT TO KNOW DER
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6. OF YOUR MOUTH?
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7. MEIN DOODLE.
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8. I'M EINSTEIN, BITCH!
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9. EINSTEIN, MOTHER
>> HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID
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10. TO THAT BARTENDER LAST NIGHT?
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11. I SAID, "I'M CALLING THE COPS.
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12. YOU JUST SERVED A MINER.
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13. YOU GET IT?
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14. >> OH, ANOTHER ZINGER.
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15. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES DOWN HERE, I
ACTUALLY PRAY FOR A GAS LEAK.
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16. UH-OH!
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17. >> WATCH OUT!
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18. >> OH, NO, WE'RE TRAPPED.
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19. AND WORST OF ALL, I REALLY DO
SMELL GAS.
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20. >> YEAH, THAT COULD BE MY I.B.S.
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21. ACTING UP.
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22. >> JUST TO BE SAFE, LET'S PUT ON
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23. AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER WAY OUT.
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24. >> IT'S FANTASTIC UNDERGROUND.
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25. >> WAIT. WHAT'S THAT?
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26. >> IT'S FANTASTIC UNDERGROUND.
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27. >> WHAT IN THE SWEET HELL?
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28. >> HOLY CRAP! RUN!
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29. >> IT'S FANTASTIC UNDERGROUND.
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30. >>
IT'S GAINING ON US.
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31. WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT.
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32. >> I'LL STOP HIM.
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33. YOU GOT A FAMILY TO THINK OF.
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34. >> WHAT?
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35. YOU'RE MARRIED, BILL.
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36. >> YEAH, BUT I'VE ALWAYS LOVED
YOU, HARVEY.
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37. >> WHAT THE —
>> NO! NO! BILL!
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38. >>
>>
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39. >> DAD, WAIT UP.
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40. PUMP, BECAUSE I-I LOVE YOU.
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41. >> ONLY ONE CHANCE.
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42. PLAY DEAD, YOU MONSTER!
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43. I-I LOVED YOU, TOO, BILL.
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44. >> I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.
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45. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.
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46. >> I'M SORRY, HONEY, BUT IT'S
BEDTIME.
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47. >> I HATE YOU!
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48. AND DOLLY HATES YOU, TOO.
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49. >>
WELL, YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER, AND I
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50. LOVE YOU, BUT THAT BITCH IS
GONNA PAY.
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51. YOU HATE ME, DOLLY?
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52. HUH, DOLLY?
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53. YOU DON'T LIKE ME?
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54. >> WHY? WHY! WHY?
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55. >> HAPPIER IN THE STORE?
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56. YOU UNGRATEFUL, STUPID RAG DOLL!
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57. >>
DAD, YOU'RE KILLING HER!
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58. >> AND LET THAT BE A LESSON TO
THE REST OF YOU!
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59. SLEEP WELL, BABY.
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60. >> I'M DANNY OCEAN.
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61. AND FOR THIS CAPER, WE'RE GONNA
NEED MORE THAN 11, 12, OR 13
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62. GUYS.
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63. SO, TEAM 1 — BRAD PITT,
MATT DAMON, DON CHEADLE,
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64. CARL REINER, ELLIOTT GOULD,
SCOTT CAAN, SHAOBO QIN,
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65. EDDIE JEMISON, ANDY GARCIA,
DiCAPRIO, BRUCE WILLIS,
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66. VIN DIESEL, WILLIAM SHATNER,
TOPHER GRACE,
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67. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN,
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE,
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68. ANTONIO BANDERAS,
SAMUEL JACKSON, KURTWOOD SMITH,
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69. BRUCE CAMPBELL, JACKIE CHAN, AND
"WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC — YOU START
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70. A FIGHT AT THE BAR.
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71. THEN, TEAM 2 —
SYLVESTER STALLONE,
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72. ERIK ESTRADA, DAVID LETTERMAN,
VINCE VAUGHN, LEONARD NIMOY,
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73. VLADIMIR PUTIN, FRANKENSTEIN,
MY NIECE SUSIE,
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74. KOKO THE GORILLA, PANDA WITH A
MONOCLE, PETER PAN,
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75. JOHN DENVER'S CORPSE, A MIME,
SHERLAX, THE DEVOURER OF
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76. WORLDS, AND RYAN SEACREST —
YOU'LL SLIP IN THE BACK.
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77. ANY QUESTIONS?
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78. >> All: NO!
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79. >> THEN LET'S DO THIS.
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80. >> MAMA, WHY DOES GRANDMA WALK
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81. SO SLOW?
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82. >> BECAUSE GRANDMA'S OLD, HONEY,
AND HER BONES ARE VERY BRITTLE.
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83. >> MAMA, WHAT'S BRITTLE?
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84. >> YOU KNOW, LIKE, UM, LIKE
PEANUT BRITTLE, DEAR.
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85. >> MMM!
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86. YUMMY!
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87. >> OH, HI, LITTLE ROSA.
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88. OH — WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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89. >> WHERE'S THE PEANUT BRITTLE?
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90. I WANT THE PEANUT BRITTLE.
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91. WHERE IS IT?
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92. GIVE IT TO ME.
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93. I WANT IT.
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94. >> ROSA, NO!
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95. PUT GRANDMA'S LEG BACK!
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96. >> YES! OH, YEAH!
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97. DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?
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98. I HAD THE ROUND OF MY LIFE.
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99. >> YES, IT WAS GREAT, EXCEPT FOR
ONE CRUCIAL ELEMENT.
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100. YOU WEREN'T WEARING YOUR NIKE
HAT.
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101. >> OH, YEAH.
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102. CARRY-ON BAG.
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103. I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
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104. >>
YOU'RE NOT SORRY YET.
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105. BUT YOU WILL BE.
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106. >> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU — WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
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107. >> HOLD HIM DOWN!
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108. >> NO! PLEASE!
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109. >> WE OWN YOU, TIGER.
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110. >> All: OWN YOU!
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111. OWN YOU! OWN YOU!
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112. >> THEY OWN ME. THEY OWN ME.
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113. >> WHAT IS IT, HONEY?
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114. >> I'VE FORSAKEN MY ROOTS.
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115. I LET THE WHITE MAN OWN ME,
BABY, BODY AND SOUL.
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116. I'M NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF
PROPERTY TO THEM.
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117. >> SO WHAT?
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118. $105 MILLION, AND YOU'RE MARRIED
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119. TO A BLOND HOTTIE.
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120. AND, ANYWAY, AREN'T YOU MOSTLY
CHINESE?
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121. >> OH, YEAH.
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122. >> OH, YEAH, YOU'RE IN THE SAND
TRAP, BABY.
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123. HOLE IN ONE! WHOO!
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124. >> HELLO, MA'AM, DID YOU CALL
ABOUT AN INTRUDER IN YOUR HOUSE?
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125. >> UM... NO.
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126. >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYES,
MA'AM?
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127. IS THAT SOME SORT OF A TICK?
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128. WELL, IF THERE'S NO INTRUDER,
THEN I'LL BE ON MY WAY.
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129. I'D GET THAT EYE CHECKED OUT BY
A DOCTOR.
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130. >> EW!
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131. HE'S GOT COOTIES!
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132. >> WELL, THERE'S BLAH-BLAH WITH
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133. THE BUDGET.
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134. MY GOD.
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135. >> THE CARRIER.
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136. WHERE'S THE CARRIER?
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137. >> DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL BE FINE.
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138. >> CONTAGION!
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139. >>
>> IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT IT.
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140. >>
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141. >> WE'RE TOO LATE.
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142. >> ROGER THAT.
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143. >> DUDE, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR MY
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144. DATE.
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145. OF MY POPCORN BUCKET.
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146. >> UH, THAT BUCKET'S EMPTY,
DUDE.
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147. WHERE'S THE POPCORN?
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148. >> POPCORN?
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149. >> HEY, DIANA, WANT TO FEEL MY
PENIS?
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150. >> EW.
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151. WHY DID YOU COVER IT IN BUTTER?
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152. >> W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "BUTTER"?
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153. >> SHUT UP, GUYS.
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154. THE TRAILERS ARE STARTING.
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155. >> BOOM!
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156. BOOM! BA-BOOM!
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157. BLAM!
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158. >> OH, THAT SUCKED!
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159. >> GEEZ, TELL THE WHOLE THEATER,
WHY DON'T YOU?
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160. >> AMERICA WOULD NEVER BE THE
SAME.
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161. HOW COULD IT AFTER THIS DAY?
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162. >> HEY, MORE POPCORN, DUDE?
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163. >> OH, THANKS, MAN.
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164. I WAS JUST GONNA — OH, SON OF A
BITCH!
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165. >>
YOU TOUCHED MY JUNK.
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166. >> YO, NICK, WE GOT TO GET OUR
STEPS TOGETHER, DOG, OR WE'RE
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167. LIFE, MAN.
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168. >> YO, I STEP FOR ONE PERSON —
ME.
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169. >> YO, I STEP FOR ONE PERSON.
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170. >> I KNOW — YOU.
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171. YOU'RE DYING TO STEP FOR YOUR
FRIENDS, BUT YOU'RE AFRAID YOUR
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172. FRIENDS WON'T BE THERE TO STEP
FOR YOU.
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173. >> YO, MAN, STEP OFF.
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174. YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
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175. >> ALL RIGHT, HOMIES, LOOK LIKE
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176. HIM, OKAY?
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177. >> YO, IT'S TIME TO STEP UP FOR
MY FRIENDS.
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178. >> LOOK, DUDE, NOW I PUT A HOLE
IN MY SODA CUP.
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179. >> DUDE, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE
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180. >> OH, HEY, COULD I HAVE SOME
SODA?
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181. >> SURE.
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182. >> All: SHH.
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183. >> HEY, HEY, HEY!
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184. A PIC-A-NIC BASKET.
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185. >> IT'S PRONOUNCED PICNIC,
YOGI — PICNIC.
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186. >> HEY, MY LUNCH!
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187. HEY.
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188. >> OH, WE GOT TO RUN, YOGI.
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189. >> YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HIM.
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190. HE'S SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE
BEAR.
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191. >> SURPRISE.
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192. >> NO, YOGI!
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193. >> SHH.
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194. I'M TRYING TO WATCH THESE
TRAILERS, Y'ALL.
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195. I'M JUST PLAYING.
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196. YOU GO, TRAILERS!
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197. AAH!
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198. >> STANLEY KUBRICK'S
"2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY" IS ONE
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199. ACHIEVEMENTS OF ALL-TIME.
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200. FOR GENERATIONS OF AUDIENCES,
IT'S ALSO...
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201. BUT HELP IS ON THE WAY.
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202. THIS SUMMER, CATCH A BRAND-NEW
EDITION OF "2001," FEATURING
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203. PLAYBOY CYBER GIRL ROBIN BAIN.
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204. IT'S FULL OF STARS!
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205. WOW!
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206. >> YES, 148 MINUTES IS A LONG
TIME TO WATCH CRAP FLOAT AROUND,
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207. SET TO CLASSICAL MUSIC, BUT NOT
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208. NAKED!
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209. >> SPACE SWIMMING'S THE BEST.
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210. I'M GONNA HELP.
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211. I LOVE COMPUTERS.
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212. I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS.
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213. I'M HELPING.
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214. >> DAISY, DAISY, GIVE ME YOUR...
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215. >> NAKED CARTWHEEL!
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216. WHOO!
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217. >> AND BEST OF ALL...
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218. >> HI, FOLKS, I'M
STANLEY KUBRICK, AND I APPROVE
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219. OF THIS IDEA.
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220. >> SEE?
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221. "2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY."
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222. >> WITH BOOBS!
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223. >> WHOO!
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224. LOVING MY LIFE.
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225. >> GENIUS.
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226. >> MASTERPIECE.
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227. >> AND NOW OUR FEATURE
PRESENTATION OF "ROBOT CHICKEN,
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228. THE MOVIE."
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229. >> OH, MY GOD, IT'S GONNA BE THE
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230. BEST MOVIE EVER.
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231. BA-GAWK! BAWK.
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232. >> THE BOOK WAS TOTALLY BETTER.
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233. >> HOLD ON.
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234. I WANT TO SEE THE CREDITS.
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