1. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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2. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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3. >> KIDS, I'VE ENLISTED THE HELP
OF SOME RAPPERS I FOUND ON THE
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4. CRAIGSLIST TO EXPLAIN EINSTEIN'S
THEORY OF RELATIVITY.
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5. SO, COME ON IN, GUYS.
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6. THIS IS THE CLASS.
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7. >> ♪ AND I'M MC-SQUARED ♪
>> ♪ WE CAME TO RHYME, AND WE
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8. CAME PREPARED ♪
>> ♪ YO, I LIKE THIS BEAT THAT
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9. YOU'RE GIVIN' ME ♪
♪ NOW TELL ME THE THEORY OF
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10. RELATIVITY ♪
>> ♪ "E" STANDS FOR ENERGY,
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11. SUCKA FOOLS ♪
>> ♪ IT'S NOT MEASURED IN WATTS,
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12. BITCH, IT'S MEASURED IN JOULES ♪
>> ♪ LISTEN UP, CLASS, THE "M"
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13. IS FOR MASS ♪
>> ♪ AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
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14. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS ♪
>> ♪ THE "C" STANDS FOR SPEED OF
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15. LIGHT IN A VACUUM ♪
>> ♪ SO BACK UP, HOES, AND GIVE
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16. US SOME ROOM ♪
>> ♪ AN INVARIANT MASS REQUIRES
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17. REST ENERGY WITHOUT A HITCH ♪
>> ♪ WHICH MADE NEWTON'S SECOND
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18. LAW AS IT APPEARS IN A
NONRELATIVISTIC CLASSICAL
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19. MECHANICS, BITCH ♪
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20. >> YO, WE ALSO GOT ONE ABOUT
ALGEBRA.
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21. >> YEAH.
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22. A-SQUARED TIMES B-SQUARED
EQUALS THESE NUTS, BITCH.
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23. >>
>> OW, OW, OOH, OW.
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24. GOD, THOSE THINGS ARE
ANUS-SHATTERING.
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25. UH, AAH, OH.
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26. OVERHEATED AGAIN?
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27. YOU CHEAP LITTLE RICE-BURNER
PIECE OF CRAP.
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28. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME
ON, COME ON, COME ON.
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29. OH, YEAH.
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30. THAT'S A WEIRD TRAFFIC MARKING.
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31. WHOA! HOLY
OOH, OH, OW, OW, OW.
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32. I CAN'T F-FEEL MY LEGS.
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33. OH, OH, THANK YOU.
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34. OH, OH, THANK YOU, BLESS YOU.
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35. I NEED TO GO TO A HOSPITAL.
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36. OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
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37. THANK YOU.
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38. OH, AAH, OH, AAH, OH.
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39. GAME!
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40. >> UH-OH.
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41. MY WAR INJURY'S ACTING UP AGAIN.
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42. >> DO IT AGAIN, UNCLE GLEN.
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43. >>
MAYBE LATER.
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44. UNCLE GLEN NEEDS A BEER.
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45. AHH.
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46. W-WHAT THE...
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47. WHO ARE YOU?
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48. >> REMOVING YOUR FINGER —
THAT'S A GOOD POWER, UNCLE GLEN.
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49. I MUST HAVE IT.
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50. >>
>> KIDS, WHERE'S YOUR
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51. UNCLE GLEN?
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52. >> WE DON'T KNOW, MAMA.
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53. >> HE'S GONE.
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54. >> OH, HE MUST BE HAVING ONE OF
HIS EXPLOSIVE-DIARRHEA ATTACKS
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55. AGAIN.
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56. >>
UH-OH.
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57. [ GURGLING, FARTING ]
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THIS
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58. POWER BACKFIRES.
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59. >> I CAN SEE!
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60. OH, MAGOO, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
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61. WHAT ARE ALL THESE DRAGONS MADE
OF ME—
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62. >>
>> MY GOODNESS!
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63. FATHER, WHAT'S THAT?
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64. >> IT APPEARS TO BE A
JUNGLE-DWELLING APE-MAN.
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65. >> YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
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66. I MEANT THAT!
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67. >> OH, THAT'S A PENIS.
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68. >> I THINK I LIKE PENIS.
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69. >> WELL, YOU ARE YOUR MOTHER'S
DAUGHTER.
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70. >> JANE. ME JANE.
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71. >>
JANE.
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72. >> THAT'S RIGHT! VERY GOOD!
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73. >>
JANE, JANE, JANE.
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74. JANE.
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75. >> YES! MY NAME IS JANE!
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76. >> ME SAVE YOU.
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77. >> TARZAN, MY HERO.
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78. >>
>>
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79. TARZAN, MY HERO.
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80. >>
AAAAHH!
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81. OOH —
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82. AAAAHH!
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83. >> OOH!
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84. >> TARZAN, DON'T MOVE.
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85. I'LL GO GET YOU A DOCTOR.
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86. >> NO, JANE, HUMANS BAD.
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87. ME NO WANT DOCTOR.
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88. ME NO WANT JANE, NEITHER.
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89. >>
YOU MEAN "EITHER," NOT —
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90. >> ME FREAKING APE-MAN!
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91. ME NOT GIVE CRAP!
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92. >>
>> TARZAN NEVER SAW JANE AGAIN.
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93. HIS BROKEN BODY WAS MENDED BY
THE BEST JUNGLE MEDICINE THE
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94. APES COULD PROVIDE.
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95. >>
>> UH-OH.
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96. >> HMM.
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97. I WONDER WHERE THE OCEAN IS
GOING.
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98. >> WE, THE JURY, FIND THE
DEFENDANT... DELIGHTFUL!
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99. >> WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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100. >> I FLOSSED AND BRUSHED MY
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101. TEETH AGAIN.
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102. THEY SAY, "ONLY FLOSS THE ONES
YOU WANT TO KEEP."
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103. I ALWAYS LIKED THAT JOKE.
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104. THEN I SWISHED AROUND SOME
MOUTHWASH.
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105. KILLS GINGIVITIS.
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106. DAMN GINGIVITIS — LEADING CAUSE
OF GUM DISEASE.
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107. SAW AN OLD LADY TRYING TO CROSS
THE STREET.
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108. GRANDMA COULDN'T HAVE BEEN LESS
THAN 90 YEARS OLD.
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109. PROBABLY SEEN A LOT OVER THOSE
YEARS, LOTS OF STORIES TO TELL,
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110. AND A FAMILY THAT LOVES HER.
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111. LET ME HELP YOU OUT, GRANNY.
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112. STOPPED THE CARS TO MAKE SURE
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113. GRANNY COULD CROSS.
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114. I'M WALKING HERE.
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115. LOVE THAT LINE.
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116. THEN I SAW SOME PUSSY THAT MADE
MY HEART STOP.
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117. PUSSY WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TREE.
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118. >>
>> A LITTLE KID CRYING FOR IT.
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119. POOR KID.
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120. PROBABLY NOT OLD ENOUGH TO TIE
HIS SHOES, AND HIS DAMN KITTEN'S
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121. LIFE IS IN MY HANDS.
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122. HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
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123. TIPPED THE BARISTA 5 BUCKS FOR
MY SOY LATTE.
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124. THESE LATTES ARE GOOD.
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125. GOOD ENOUGH TO KILL FOR, BUT I'D
NEVER DO THAT.
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126. KILLING IS BAD, UNLESS YOU'RE
KILLING GINGIVITIS.
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127. >> 18.
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128. 19.
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129. AND 20, OR ONE SCORE.
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130. >> WHEW.
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131. >> GETTING A GOOD ASS-KICKING IN
HERE.
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132. HEY, ROBERT E. LEE, WHERE DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING?
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133. WE STILL HAVE THREE SCORE AND
SEVEN KICKS TO THE BALLS TO GO.
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134. >> THIS IS A ROBBERY.
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135. FILL THIS BAG WITH
INCONSEQUENTIAL BILLS.
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136. >> WOW, I'M GETTING ROBBED BY
NICOLE RICHIE.
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137. >> SHH. SHUT UP.
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138. I WANT TO GO TO PRISON TO SAVE
MY FRIEND PARIS.
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139. >> FOR A ROBBERY?
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140. THEY MIGHT JUST FINE YOU FOR
THAT.
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141. >> GOOD POINT.
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142. >> STUPID CELEBRITY.
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143. ARMED ROBBERY AND MURDER?
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144. YOU'LL BE LOCKED UP FOR 45 DAYS.
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145. >> AM I LOCKED UP?
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146. PERHAPS IT IS YOU WHO ARE LOCKED
UP, AND I AM TRULY —
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147. >> SHUT UP, YOU BITCH!
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148. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
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149. AAH! SHE'S IN MY BRAIN!
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150. >> NICOLE, IS THAT YOU?
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151. >> PARIS!
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152. I COULDN'T LET MY BEST BUD/MEAL
TICKET ROT IN JAIL, NOW, COULD
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153. I?
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154. WINK.
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155. >> BUT NOW WE'RE BOTH LOCKED UP.
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156. >> DON'T WORRY.
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157. I HAD AN ESCAPE PLAN TATTOOED ON
ME.
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158. >> I RECOGNIZE THOSE SYMBOLS.
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159. >> THEY'RE WORDS, PARIS.
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160. >> WHAT?
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161. >> OH, YES!
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162. OH, YES!
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163. GIVE IT TO ME, GUARD.
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164. OH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
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165. OH, YOU'RE THE RIGHT GUARD.
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166. >> YEAH, THAT'S HOT, THAT'S HOT,
THAT'S HOT.
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167. >> YEAH, UNLOCK MY CELL, MY
VAGINA CELL.
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168. YEAH!
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169. >> WHOO!
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170. THAT WAS GREAT, LADIES, BUT NOW
YOU GOT TO GO RIGHT BACK INTO
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171. YOUR —
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172. >> HEY, I FORGOT TO USE THE
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173. POISON.
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174. >> OH, WHY DOES THAT
KEEP HAPPENING TO ALL MY
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175. BOYFRIENDS?
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176. >> YOU SHOULD REALLY SEE A
GYNECOLOGIST.
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177. >> WE NOW CANCEL "CAVEMEN" TO
BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS FROM
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178. LYNWOOD PRISON.
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179. NOTED CELEBUTARDS PARIS HILTON
AND NICOLE RICHIE HAVE ESCAPED.
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180. VIEWERS WILL RECALL THAT
NICOLE RICHIE IS THE DAUGHTER
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181. OF FAMOUS MUSICIAN
LIONEL RICHIE.
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182. >> NICOLE, IT IS OVER.
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183. YOU GOT NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN.
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184. >> THE JOKE'S ON YOU.
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185. I WEIGH 62 POUNDS.
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186. I CAN GLIDE THROUGH THE AIR LIKE
A SPIDER MONKEY.
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187. >> UP, UP, AND AWAY, FALKOR.
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188. >> NO!
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189. >> YAY!
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190. AAAH!
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191. THAT'S NOT HOT.
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192. >> MMM.
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193. I COULD REALLY GO FOR ANOTHER
ONE OF THOSE.
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194. WHERE IS OUR CABANA BOY?
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195. PARIS!
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196. >> OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN...
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197. WITH MY VAGINA.
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198. >> LAUGHING MAKES ME HUNGRY.
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199. BA-GAWK! BAWK.
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