1. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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2. >> IT'S ALIVE!
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3. >> IN "TONIGHT'S NEWS," YOU CAN
FIND THE WORDS "NIGHT,"TIGHT,"
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4. "TITS,"TOTS,"STEW,"WINO,"
"GHOST" AND THE NAME "TONI," IF
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5. SPELL IT WITH AN "I."
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6. >> OH, MY GOD!
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7. OH, MY GOD!
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8. OH, MY GOD!
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9. OH, MY GOD!
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10. NOT ONE MORE DAY OF THIS!
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11. NOT ONE MORE DAY!
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12. OH, THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.
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13. >> HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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14. >> SHUT UP!
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15. THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
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16. HA!
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17. TIME TO GO TO WORK.
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18. >> BE CAREFUL, DEAR.
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19. >> YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
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20. AAH!
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21. JEWISH HOLIDAY!
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22. >>
HA!
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23. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
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24. >> NO!
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25. DO A DANCE!
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26. >> TELL A JOKE!
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27. >>
A PRIEST, A RABBI, AND A MONK
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28. >> WHAT'S A RABBI?
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29. >> OKAY, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
THESE CARDS, AND YOU JUST TELL
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30. ME WHAT YOU SEE.
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31. >> BREASTS!
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32. BOOBS!
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33. KNOCKERS!
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34. FUNBAGS!
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35. HOOTERS!
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36. DIRTY PILLOWS!
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37. MILK SACKS!
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38. TA-TAS!
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39. MELONS!
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40. GAZONGAS!
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41. FLESH PUMPKINS!
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42. SWEATER MEAT!
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43. NIPPLE BACKSTOPS!
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44. BIG, BOPPLIN' BOOBLY OOBLY
OOBLIES!
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45. TWO MOONS IN TRACTOR BEAM!
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46. MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM!
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47. >> JUST TELL ME YOUR DEMANDS AND
WE CAN END THIS!
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48. THERE'S NO REASON TO HURT THOSE
BABIES!
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49. >> ALL I WANT IS FOR SOMEONE TO
TELL ME THAT THEY LOVE ME!
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50. I KNEW NOBODY LOVED ME!
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51. IT'S YOUR FAULT, MOM!
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52. WHY DIDN'T LOVE ME?
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53. >> VERINGULAR — WE'RE DROPPING
YOUR CALLS ON PURPOSE, AND THERE
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54. ISN'T YOU CAN DO ABOUT
IT.
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55. >> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!
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56. >> WOW!
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57. IT'S THE MUSTANG I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED!
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58. WOW, DAD!
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59. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU —
HEY.
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60. AW, DAD, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
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61. >> WAIT, THAT'S MY CAR.
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62. YOURS IS OVER THERE.
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63. >> OH —
AW!
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64. >> I'VE MADE A DEAL THAT WILL
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65. AFFAIRS FOREVER.
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66. >>
>>
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67. >> WE'D BE HONORED IF YOU COULD
JOIN US.
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68. >>
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69. >> C-CAN I GET A LITTLE MORE
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70. WATER?
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71. >> WHAT?
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72. >> NOTHING!
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73. I JUST ASKED FOR MORE WATER.
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74. HMM?
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75. >> CKK!
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76. >> RRR!
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77. >> PKWW!
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78. >>
RRR!
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79. >> SO, HOW WE DOING?
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80. LEIA, HOW'S THE SOUP?
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81. YOU EVER HAVE SOUP THIS GOOD?
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82. >> YES, ON ALDERAAN.
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83. >> HEY, PRINCESS, LET IT GO.
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84. "OH, HELP ME!
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85. WE'RE A PEACEFUL PLANET!"
"YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY."
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86. BOO-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!
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87. BIG LASER!
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88. PKK-K-K-K-K-K-K!
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89. ALDERAAN CHUNKS EVERYWHERE!
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90. PS-S-S-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!
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91. >> ANYONE, UH...
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92. ANYONE GOT A JOKE?
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93. >> I'VE GOT ONE.
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94. WHO'S GOT TWO THUMBS AND
BETRAYED HIS BEST FRIEND?
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95. THIS GUY!
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96. UH... TOO SOON?
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97. >> WELL, IT'S BEEN A TIME AND A
HALF, BUT —
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98. LOT OF TORTURING TO DO.
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99. A BOO-OOP BAH BOO!
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100. DOO DEEDLE-DEE DOO DOO!
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101. AROO-OO!
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102. >> FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CLAIM
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103. "300" IS A TRUE STORY COMES THE
TALE OF OUR NATION'S BIRTH.
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104. >> GENERAL WASHINGTON, THE
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105. TO 12!
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106. >> FEAR NOT, AMERICAN!
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107. FOR TONIGHT, WE DINE...
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108. IN VIRGINIA!
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109. >> KING GEORGE WOULD LIKE TO
SPEAK WITH YOU.
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110. >> THIS IS A BRITISH COLONY!
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111. >> BRITISH?
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112. THIS IS AMERICA!
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113. HANCOCK, NOW!
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114. Y-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!
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115. >> IT AIN'T ACCURATE, BUT IT'LL
BLOW YOUR MIND.
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116. >> AND THE POWER CELL RECHARGES
AS IT MOVES.
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117. IT'S A REVOLUTION IN ROBOTIC
LONGEVITY!
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118. YES?
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119. >> CAN YOU IT?
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120. >> EXCUSE ME?
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121. >> CAN YOU IT?
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122. >> NO.
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123. >> OH, JEEZ! COME ON!
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124. >> TRAGEDY STRUCK TODAY AS
BELOVED CHILDREN'S ICON
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125. STEAM PRESS.
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126. LONGTIME COMPANION,
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127. RAGGEDY ANDY, DIED IN THE LATE
'80s AND IS NOW A PERMANENT PART
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128. OF THE AIDS QUILT.
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129. >> ALL TOO COMMON.
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130. FIGURES FOREVER, GIRLS DUMP
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131. CRUEL LACK OF COMPASSION.
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132. LIFE.
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133. WHAT HAPPENS TO GIRLS' TOYS WHEN
THEY'RE NO LONGER LOVED?
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134. JEM WAS ON TOP OF THE ROCK 'N'
ROLL WORLD IN THE '80s, BUT WHEN
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135. SHE FELL, SHE FELL HARD —
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136. CHEESECAKE.
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137. >> NO, THEY DON'T!
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138. YOU'RE RUINING MY PARTY!
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139. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S TRULY,
TRULY OUTRAGEOUS?
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140. CHLAMYDIA.
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141. >> $40, RIGHT?
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142. YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY
EMBARRASSING, BUT IN THE '80s, I
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143. THE TIME.
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144. >> YEAH, YOU WERE JUST A BOY
THEN, BUT NOW YOU'RE A MAN,
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145. RIGHT?
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146. >> WELL, YES — A MARRIED MAN.
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147. >> SO, IS IT AN OPEN MARRIAGE
OR —
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148. SO, IS IT AN OPEN MARRIAGE?
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149. >> THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA
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150. ACCESSORY — A VAGINA.
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151. THE TEAM, VENUS CHOSE TO END HER
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152. TURTLES MEET THEIR MAKER.
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153. >> SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES —
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154. TOILET.
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155. >> IRONICALLY, WHEN SHE DIED,
SHE CRAPPED HERSELF.
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156. >> IS THAT IRONIC OR JUST FUNNY?
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157. >> STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE WAS
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158. PURPLE PIEMAN.
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159. NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE'LL
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160. TORMENTOR.
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161. >> EH?
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162. WHO'S THERE?
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163. I AM BLIND NOW.
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164. THE DIABETES SAW TO THAT.
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165. CHA-CHA-CHA CHA.
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166. STILL GOT THE MOVES, HA HA.
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167. >> AND SO STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
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168. CONFRONTATION SHE SO CRAVES.
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169. >> OH, NO!
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170. BULL CRAP!
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171. >> AAH!
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172. >> WHAT THE —
>>
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173. AAH!
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174. TAKE MY BERRIES NOW, BITCH!
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175. YAAH!
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176. WHOO!
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177. I TOLD THAT MOTHER I'D
BURY HIM, AND THAT'S NOT SOME
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178. FRUIT-RELATED SPEECH IMPEDIMENT.
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179. B-U-R-Y — BURY, LIKE IN THE
GROUND.
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180. >> RAINBOW BRITE WAS A HUGE HIT
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181. WANTED TO BE GIRLS.
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182. SO, RAINBOW, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
UP TO?
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183. >> WELL, AFTER I RETIRED AS
RULER OF RAINBOW LAND, I
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184. PRETTY COLORS OF THE WORLD.
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185. I DATED A BLACK GUY, A KOREAN
GUY, A BLACK GUY, A PUERTO RICAN
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186. GUY, A BLACK GUY, SOME INDIAN
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187. BLACK GUY, A BLACK GUY — OH,
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188. SO PISSED.
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189. >> AND HOW DOES SAILOR MOON MAKE
A LIVING THESE DAYS?
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190. >> I SELL MY USED PANTIES TO OLD
MEN ONLINE.
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191. >> IT'S A TRAGEDY WHEN A BELOVED
ICON IS DISCARDED ON PURPOSE.
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192. >> WE CABBAGE PATCH PEOPLE WERE
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193. OF OUR CUTE BABY STAGE.
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194. ADOPTION, MY ASSHOLE.
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195. >> WITH NOBODY TO CARE FOR THEM,
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196. ON HARD TIMES.
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197. ALL BEFELL CHATTY CATHY.
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198. AFTER WITNESSING A MOB CRIME,
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199. COULDN'T TALK.
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200. >> THEY CUT OUT MY
TONGUE, BUT I WOULD NOT BE
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201. INTIMIDATED.
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202. I TESTIFIED ANYWAY.
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203. >> OH, GOOD FOR YOU.
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204. >> I WISH I WAS DEAD.
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205. >> LET'S NEVER AGAIN FORGET THAT
THOSE GIRLS' TOYS OF YESTERYEAR
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206. DESERVE.
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207. >>
AM I DONE YET?
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208. >> YOU'LL KNOW, CHATTY CATHY.
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209. YOU'LL KNOW.
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210. BA-GAWK! BAWK.
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