Robot Chicken 2x20

Directed by

Vince Vaughn presents his new hit show, "Vince Vaughn Bangs Your Mom." Meet Casper's brother, "Jasper, the Douchebag Ghost." Ninjas compete in a game show. A nerd gives us a much-needed lesson on Gobots. The cast of Sesame Street deals with a viral outbreak when Big Bird catches the bird flu. A robot learns what it means to be alive. Robot Chicken holds a telethon that goes horribly awry.

Request examples:

!req Robot Chicken 2x20 [02:32]
!req Robot Chicken 2x20 [Robot Chicken 2x20]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Robot Chicken 2x20 [10-11]; !req Robot Chicken 2x20 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. >>

2. >> IT'S ALIVE!

3. >> IT'S ALIVE!

4. >> HELLO, "ROBOT CHICKEN."

5. I VIEWED YOUR RECENT GOBOTS SKETCH WITH AN UTTER LACK OF

6. MIRTH AND AN ABUNDANCE OF EXTREME DISPLEASURE.

7. THE FOLLOWING IS MY ANNOTATED VERSION OF YOUR WORTHLESS

8. ATTEMPT AT HUMOR.

9. WATCH AND LEARN, JERKS.

10. FIRST OF ALL, GOBOTS DO NOT LIVE IN HOUSES.

11. SECOND OF ALL, GOBOTS DO NOT MASTURBATE, IF THAT IS INDEED

12. WHAT YOU ARE IMPLYING.

13. >> SCOOTER?

14. >> DON'T COME IN!

15. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?

16. >> DON'T COME IN!

17. DON'T COME IN!

18. >> THIS IS NOT A HILARIOUS CIRCUMSTANCE.

19. IT IS BOTH PAINFUL AND TRAUMATIC—AS ANYONE WHO HAS

20. LIVED THROUGH IT CAN TELL YOU.

21. >> SO...

22. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

23. YOU'RE A HELICOPTER AND YOUR NAME IS COP-TUR?

24. >> YES.

25. >> LAME.

26. >> TURBO IS A GOOD GOBOT AND COP-TUR IS A RENEGADE GOBOT.

27. THEY WOULD NOT BE CONVERSING AS SUCH.

28. ALSO, COP-TUR WAS ONLY HIS LAME AMERICAN NAME.

29. WHEN THE CHARACTER WAS ORIGINATED IN JAPAN IN 1981,

30. COP-TUR'S NAME WAS GYRO ROBO.

31. I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF RE-DUBBING THIS SCENE.

32. >> SO, I HEAR YOUR NAME IS GYRO ROBO.

33. >> CORRECT.

34. >> THAT IS VERY NOT LAME.

35. >> I WON'T EVEN DIGNIFY THIS

36. SCENE WITH MY ANALYSIS.

37. "ROBOT CHICKEN" HAS SCREWED THE PROVERBIAL POOCH WHEN ATTEMPTING

38. TO SKEWER THE VAST AND MAGNIFICENT WORLD OF THE GOBOTS.

39. PLEASE GO TO HELL.

40. >> DANIEL?

41. COME GET YOUR SUPPER, HONEY!

42. >> MOM, I YOU MY NAME WAS GYRO ROBO!

43. >> OH, SORRY, GYRO ROBO.

44. >> YEAH.

45. THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

46. >> YOU ARE GOING TOO FAST!

47. PULL OVER IMMEDIATELY!

48. >> >> KONNICHIWA,

49. AND WELCOME TO "NINJA STARS."

50. TONIGHT WE'LL SEE REAL LIVE NINJAS COMPETE TO FIND OUT WHO

51. CAN BE THE MOST STEALTHY AND EFFECTIVE ASSASSIN.

52. PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME DAN NORBERT, CORPORATE ACCOUNTANT.

53. LET US SEE WHAT OUR FIRST NINJA CONTESTANT CAN DO.

54. >> HYAY!

55. >> >> HO, HO!

56. FANTASTIC!

57. LET'S GO TO OUR PANEL OF JUDGES.

58. >> NICE MOVES.

59. I GIVE HIM A 10.

60. >> DAN NORBERT LOOK PRETTY DEAD.

61. 9.5.

62. >> I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE.

63. I DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT MARTIAL ARTS.

64. 6.5.

65. >> >> SORRY, FOLKS.

66. THE OTHER TWO NINJA CONTESTANTS WERE FOUND DECAPITATED

67. BACKSTAGE.

68. GOOD NIGHT.

69. >> HERE COMES THE YUM-YUM TRAIN RIGHT INTO THE STATION.

70. >> >> TOOT, TOOT!

71. YUM-YUM EXPRESS COMIN' THROUGH!

72. TOOT, TOOT!

73. NEXT STOP TUMMY LAND!

74. OH, NO!

75. THE BRIDGE IS CLOSED!

76. FULL REVERSE ENGINES!

77. SLAM ON THE BRAKES!

78. COME ON, WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!

79. OH, DEAR GOD!

80. IT LOOKS LIKE THE TRACKS ARE COMING TO AN END!

81. CRASH!

82. EVERYONE ON BOARD LURCHES FORWARD.

83. THE IMPACT THROWS PEOPLE THROUGH WINDOWS!

84. ARMS HANGING FROM THE LUGGAGE RACK!

85. CHILDREN'S FACES ARE TRAMPLED IN PANIC!

86. THE GUY IN THE BATHROOM BREAKS HIS NECK AND PASSES OUT IN HIS

87. ON FILTH!

88. IT'S CARNAGE!

89. BLOODY CARNAGE!

90. PEOPLE DEMAND TO KNOW WHY!

91. WHY WOULD GOD ALLOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN?

92. OH, THE HUMANITY!

93. >> >> TOOT, TOOT!

94. HERE COMES THE YUM-YUM TRAIN.

95. >> AAH!

96. >> SHE'LL HAVE THE CHEF SALAD, AND I'LL HAVE...

97. I'LL HAVE THE STEAK.

98. >> YEAH, YEAH.

99. YOU BETTER ORDER THE STEAK, PUNK.

100. DON'T WANT NONE OF THIS, BITCH!

101. LET ME GET THESE RUBBER BANDS OFF.

102. I'M GONNA GO CLACK-CLACK ALL UP IN YOUR FACE, MOTHER—

103. >> HI, THERE.

104. WELCOME TO MY NEW SHOW— "VINCE VAUGHN BANGS YOUR MOM."

105. IN THIS SHOW, I MEET UP WITH YOUR MOM, AND I BUST HER ASS

106. LIKE A LOOTER IN A RIOT.

107. PLEASE WELCOME MY FIRST GUEST TODAY...

108. YOUR MOM.

109. >> >> NOW, BEFORE I TAKE YOUR MOM

110. BEHIND THIS CURTAIN, I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THIS

111. FINE LADY.

112. SHE'S 45 YEARS YOUNG, LOVES MUSEUMS, AND DOES THIS THING

113. WITH HER TONGUE THAT WOULD MAKE A—WELL, WOULD MAKE A RABBI EAT

114. PORK.

115. THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY.

116. TIME FOR ME TO GO SWEEP YOUR MOM'S CHIMNEY LIKE MARY POPPINS.

117. CHIM-CHIM CHEEROO!

118. TOODLES.

119. >> BOY, BEING A SOCK PUPPET REALLY SUCKS, HUH?

120. >> YEAH.

121. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR PUPPETMASTER IS A 14-YEAR-OLD

122. BOY WHO WHACKS OFF IN YOUR FACE EVERY NIGHT.

123. >> HA HA HA.

124. >> OH!

125. I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA BLOW CHUNKS OF BIRDSEED!

126. >> OH, NO!

127. BIG BIRD HAS THE BIRD FLU.

128. >> THE WORD OF THE DAY IS "QUARANTINE."

129. Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E.

130. QUARANTINE.

131. >> SNUFFELUPPAGUS?

132. IS THAT YOU?

133. >> OH, HE MUST BE HALLUCINATING.

134. >> HI, BIRD.

135. I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE SICK.

136. >> I'M SCARED, SNUFFY.

137. THANK GOD YOU CAN'T GET IT SINCE YOUR NOT REAL.

138. >> YEAH.

139. THANK GOD—

140. >> ONE VACCINE.

141. AH AH AH!

142. TWO VACCINES.

143. AH AH AH!

144. >> ♪ ONE OF THESE KIDS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

145. ONE OF THESE KIDS IS DEAD ♪ >> TODAY'S EPISODE BROUGHT TO

146. YOU BY THE LETTERS C.D.C.

147. >> AND NOW...

148. A MESSAGE FROM THE BEES.

149. >> HEY, BOYS AND GIRLS.

150. REMEMBER TO BE YOURSELF!

151. AND DON'T WITH US OR WE'LL STING YOU ALL AT ONCE

152. AND KILL YOU.

153. AH, PROJAC, YOU'RE A GIFT TO FORMER MAD

154. SCIENTISTS EVERYWHERE.

155. WITH YOUR HELP, I'LL USE MY INVENTIONS FOR GOOD.

156. RIGHT, BOYS?

157. >> I LIVE!

158. THIS IS AWESOME!

159. I'M ALIVE!

160. HA HA!

161. I'M ALIVE!

162. >> AAGH!

163. >> HA!

164. YEAH!

165. OOH!

166. SPARKLY!

167. OH!

168. BEING ALIVE HOLDS SUCH AMAZING WONDERS!

169. >> FREEZE!

170. >> HEY, HEY, HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD!

171. >> DON'T GIVE ME REASON, SIR!

172. >> I LOVE YOU ALL!

173. I WANT TO PLAY, TOO!

174. >> WHAT A GREAT GAME!

175. I WIN!

176. >> >> LOOK AT YOU.

177. I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING SO ADORABLE IN ALL MY 20 MINUTES OF

178. LIFE.

179. COME HERE, YOU!

180. HA HA!

181. >> WELL, BOYS, I HOPE YOU— OH, MY GOD!

182. >> FREEZE, COP-KILLER!

183. >> WHAT—NO!

184. >> DON'T GIVE ME ANOTHER REASON!

185. >> DROP IT!

186. >> VANAX.

187. GET YOUR SMILE BACK, BUT WITHOUT THE DESIRE TO BUILD

188. GIANT ROBOTS.

189. >> HO, HO, HO!

190. >> OH, HEY THERE, CASPER.

191. >> HA HA!

192. >> HEY!

193. >> SOMEONE CALL U.P.S.

194. THERE'S A SMALL PACKAGE THAT NEEDS TO BE DELIVERED.

195. >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A FRIENDLY GHOST.

196. >> IDIOT!

197. I'M HIS BROTHER JASPER, THE DOUCHE BAG GHOST!

198. >> ♪ JASPER THE DOUCHE BAG GHOST

199. THE DOUCHIEST GHOST POSSESSED HE'LL CALL YOU NAMES

200. AND ACT REAL MEAN UNTIL YOU FEEL DEPRESSED

201. HE'LL ALWAYS SAY... ♪ >> YOU!

202. >> ♪ AND... ♪ >> LICK MY SACK, YOU FAIRY!

203. >> ♪ HE'S SO DAMN CRUDE AND SO DAMN RUDE

204. JASPER, THE DOUCHE BAG GHOST ♪ >> WE WILL ALL MISS ANNIE.

205. BUT SHE TRULY IS IN A BETTER PLACE.

206. >> >> OH, GRANDMA!

207. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALIVE!

208. >> AAW!

209. >> HERMAN, YOU WERE ALWAYS MY LEAST FAVORITE GRANDCHILD.

210. >> HA HA!

211. RETARDS!

212. >> LICK MY SACK!

213. >> I'LL TAKE A COKE.

214. >> PEPSI OK?

215. >> HELL, NO!

216. THIS PLACE SUCKS, YOU WHORE!

217. >> THAT'S ALL THAT'S LEFT OF HIM—POOR BASTARD.

218. >> THE SUBJECT DIED OF NATURAL— NATURAL CAUSES.

219. >> WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE.

220. I'M STILL "ROBOT CHICKEN" EXECUTIVE PRODUCER SETH GREEN.

221. >> AND I'M STILL EXECUTIVE PRODUCER MATT SENREICH.

222. >> NOT ENOUGH OF YOU HAVE BEEN CALLING IN TO SUPPORT US GETTING

223. A THIRD SEASON.

224. BUT WE'RE GONNA CHANGE ALL THAT RIGHT NOW.

225. CO-HEAD WRITER DOUGLAS GOLDSTEIN, BRING OUT THAT

226. ADORABLE PUPPY.

227. SO, LISTEN CAREFULLY...

228. IF YOU GUYS DON'T CALL THE NUMBER ON THE BOTTOM OF THE

229. SCREEN RIGHT NOW, MATT HERE IS GONNA SHOTGUN-BLAST KNUCKLES'

230. BRAINS ALL OVER THE GROUND.

231. YOU GOT IT?

232. SO, START CALLING, BITCHES.

233. WE'RE NOT KIDDING.

234. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO CALL—

235. !

236. WHOA, WHAT THE?

237. >> SORRY.

238. MY FINGER SLIPPED.

239. MY BAD.

240. >> I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA KILL THE DOG?

241. >> DUDE, IT SLIPPED.

242. I'M SORRY.

243. >> WOW.

244. OK, UM...

245. LET'S...

246. UH, LET'S HAVE CO-HEAD WRITER TOM ROOT BRING OUT ARNOLD THE

247. MONKEY.

248. MATT, YOU REALLY GOTTA BE CAREFUL, OK, MAN?

249. >> OK, OK.

250. >> ARNOLD, ARNOLD!

251. IT'S OK, IT'S OK.

252. IT'S OK.

253. SHH.

254. IT'S OK, BUDDY, IT'S OK.

255. COME HERE.

256. IT'S OK.

257. OK, NOW LET'S GET SOME PHONE CALLS—

258. MATT, WHAT THE HELL?

259. >> SOMEBODY PUT VASELINE ON THIS TRIGGER.

260. >> DUDE, I PUT A $10,000 DEPOSIT DOWN ON THAT MONKEY!

261. I'M NOT GONNA GET THAT BACK.

262. >> I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

263. >> GIVE ME THE GUN.

264. >> NO!

265. >> GIVE ME IT!

266. >> NO!

267. LET GO!

268. >> MATT, GIVE ME IT—

269. >> OH, HELLO!

270. >> MATT!

271. YOU SHOT THE BLOOPERS HOST!

272. >> SETH, LISTEN!

273. THEY LIKE THE VIOLENCE.

274. WE NEED MORE VIOLENCE!

275. >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, MATT!

276. THAT'S OUR FRIEND TOM!

277. HE'S—WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

278. WE—WE CAN'T HAVE A THIRD SEASON IF WE DON'T HAVE ANY WRITERS!

279. >> THEY LOVE US!

280. VIOLENCE!

281. RATINGS!

282. COME ON!

283. HIGHER RATINGS!

284. >> HA HA HA—

285. >> HA HA HA.

286. [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

287. —www.ncicap.org—] >> BUCK.

288. >> UH...

289. I'M...

290. I'M HERE TO PICK UP THE MONKEY?

291. HELLO?