Robot Chicken 2x15

Directed by

Lil' Hitler will win your heart! The Library of Heaven yields answers even God doesn't want you to know. The Burger King serves up some delicious B&E. Garfield and Heathcliff face off in court. A giraffe deals with the five stages of grief. The gang from Police Academy joins the X-Men. Rated TV-MA.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

2. >> AAH!

3. >> IT'S ALIVE!

4. >> HA HA HA HA!

5. >> MORNING BEAR, ARE YOU HAVING SMOKE SEX?

6. >> UH, NO.

7. >> WHAT A DAY!

8. IT'S EXHAUSTING BEING THE CEO OF BURGER KING.

9. HELLO?

10. HELLO?

11. IS ANYONE THERE?

12. DAMN IT.

13. HELLO.

14. WHO IS THIS?

15. I'M THE CEO OF BURGER KING, YOU KNOW.

16. DAH!

17. WHAT WAS THAT?

18. WHO'S THERE?

19. WHEW!

20. AAH!

21. I'M FLAME-BROILING IN MY PANTS!

22. WAAHHH!

23. OH! MY ARM!

24. DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

25. HA HA!

26. WHAT?

27. NO!

28. I'VE KILLED MY ONLY SON!

29. PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS.

30. >> THE NEW TRIPLE BACON KING BURGER.

31. SPEND YOUR NIGHTS WITH THE KING.

32. >> OH, PHILIP!

33. >> HEY.

34. >> DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS, MAN.

35. >> MEIN TEACHER?

36. >> YES, LI'L HITLER?

37. >> MEIN DESK IS SMALL.

38. I NEED THIS POLISH BOY'S DESK, ALSO.

39. >> EVERYONE GETS THE SAME SIZE DESK, LI'L HITLER.

40. >> AH, HERE IT IS, THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE.

41. >> WOW!

42. HUH?

43. >> JUST ASK THE BOOK ANY QUESTION ABOUT YOUR LIFE, AND

44. THE ANSWER SHALL BE REVEALED.

45. >> UH... HOW MANY DAYS DID I LIVE?

46. COOL!

47. HOW MANY HOURS IS THAT?

48. >> IT'S NOT A CALCULATOR.

49. THIS IS THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE.

50. >> OOH, HOW MANY TIMES DID I HEAR THE SONG "I TOUCHED MYSELF"

51. BY THE DIVINYLS?

52. HUH... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE THAN THAT.

53. >> WHY NOT ASK THE BOOK ABOUT

54. THEY IMPACTED YOUR LOVED ONES?

55. >> IN A MINUTE.

56. HEY, BOOK, IF I MADE BRICKS OUT

57. OUT AND BUILT A 6-FOOT HIGH WALL OUT OF THE BRICKS, HOW LONG

58. COULD I MAKE THAT WALL?

59. >> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

60. >> BOOK, TELL THIS MAN HOW MANY

61. FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

62. >> BORING!

63. BOOK, COULD I HAVE FILLED THE

64. OWN POOP?

65. >> DON'T ANSWER THAT, BOOK.

66. >> BUT I WANT TO KNOW.

67. >> NO!

68. >> YES!

69. >> NO!

70. >> YES!

71. >> THAT DOES IT!

72. >> 2.7 MILES?

73. >> HA! I KNOW!

74. >> NOW, CLASS— >> MEIN TEACHER?

75. BOY'S DESK AS WELL.

76. >> LI'L HITLER, WHERE'S LITTLE POLASKI?

77. >> CAT COURT IS NOW IN SESSION.

78. GARFIELD VS. HEATHCLIFF.

79. >> I WAS IN THE FUNNY PAPERS 5 YEARS BEFORE THIS LAME

80. KNOCKOFF.

81. >> JUDGE, IF I MIGHT.

82. I'D LIKE TO PRESENT THIS AFFIDAVIT.

83. OH, SORRY, YOUR HONOR.

84. I'M ON A LASAGNA DIET.

85. I SEE LASAGNA, I EAT IT.

86. >> AW, THAT JOKE SUCKS,

87. EVEN FOR YOU.

88. >> COURT AGREES.

89. THAT JOKE SUCKED.

90. GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID WE ARE AT A STANDSTILL.

91. THERE'S ONLY ONE FAIR WAY TO SETTLE THIS ARGUMENT.

92. CAT FIGHT!

93. >> YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

94. COME ON, FAT BOY!

95. >> COME AND GET IT, CAT.

96. >> RREOWW!

97. OPEN YOUR EYES ALL THE WAY, YOU LAZY.

98. >> I'M GONNA START CALLING YOU "MONDAY."

99. I HATE MONDAYS.

100. >> OH, OOH, I REAL—

101. >> I'M DYING!

102. I'M SO CUTE AND I'M DYING!

103. AAH!

104. >> EAT IT, EAT IT!

105. DIE, DIE!

106. >> ENOUGH.

107. WE HAVE A CHAMPION.

108. GARFIELD.

109. >> PTUI!

110. >> OH!

111. HEART... ATTACK...

112. FROM DECADES... OF ONLY...

113. >> I'M SORRY.

114. I JUST COULDN'T TAKE ANOTHER FREAKING LASAGNA JOKE.

115. >> OH, GODS BE PRAISED, I'M FREE!

116. FREE!

117. >> UP NEXT, CAT COURT HEARS THE

118. CHEETAH.

119. >> HE HANKERED FOR A HUNK OF MY ASS, YAHOO!

120. >> UH-OH.

121. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

122. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN QUICKSAND.

123. I'LL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THIS TONIGHT WITH THE GUYS.

124. HA HA HA!

125. PERFECT!

126. STUPID QUICKSAND!

127. STUPID JUNGLE!

128. FACE!

129. MOTHER!

130. MOTHER!

131. MOTHER!

132. AH,

133. YOU STUPID JUNGLE!

134. AH,

135. ARE YOU THERE, GOD?

136. IT'S ME—GIRAFFE.

137. LISTEN, IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE

138. THING, I PROMISE, I PROMISE NO

139. CREATURES.

140. DEAL?

141. MOMMY.

142. YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I'M COOL

143. WITH THIS.

144. I'LL BET HEAVEN HAS ALL THE

145. SLURPEE MACHINE.

146. YEAH, TAKE ME SWEET DEATH.

147. I AWAIT YOUR LOVING EMBRACE.

148. WHAT?

149. I THINK I HIT THE BOTTOM.

150. >> WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

151. >> IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

152. NOW IT'S MY PROBLEM.

153. >> LOOK SHARP, TEAM.

154. >> REMEMBER, MY X-MEN, USE EXTREME CAUTION.

155. MISSION YET.

156. >> RIGHT, PROFESSOR.

157. >> OH, IS IT OK IF I DELETE REAL

158. THE TIVO, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A—

159. WOW!

160. I'M GOING TO NEED SOME NEW STUDENTS.

161. WELCOME, RECRUITS.

162. THOUGH WE'VE HAD TO LOWER OUR

163. OF ACTUAL MUTANTS, THE DANGERS YOU'LL FACE ARE NO LESS REAL.

164. YOU'LL BE DEFENDING A WORLD THAT HATES AND FEARS YOU.

165. >> WHAT?

166. HATE AND FEAR US BECAUSE WE'RE MUTANTS?

167. >> NO, BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THE "POLICE ACADEMY" MOVIES.

168. CHAIR?

169. AND IT SEEMS WE'RE MISSING ONE RECRUIT.

170. >> SORRY I'M LATE.

171. >> MAHONEY!

172. THIS IS THE DANGER ROOM, THE ULTIMATE TRAINING FACILITY.

173. KILLER DEATH RAYS, FLYING

174. BUZZ SAWS, INFLATABLE ... BAGS.

175. LET'S BEGIN.

176. >> HELLO, MY RUBA BROTHER.

177. I'M LARDELL JONES.

178. DESTROY ALL HUMANOIDS.

179. >> EXCUSE ME, UM...

180. PLEASE, STOP THAT.

181. >> YOU'RE AN X MAN.

182. ACT LIKE ONE.

183. >> WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME, DIRTBAG!

184. >> FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, GET THAT BODY TO THE MORGUE.

185. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

186. >> HIGHTOWER, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

187. WELL, THAT'S HORRIFYING.

188. RECRUITS, THESE BATTLE OUTFITS ARE STYLISH,

189. TEMPERATURE-CONTROLLED, AND BEST OF ALL BULLETPROOF.

190. >> AWESOME!

191. >> TACKLEBERRY, NO!

192. >> OF COURSE, THEY CAN ONLY

193. ACTUALLY COVER.

194. STUPID CHAIR.

195. HEY! YOU!

196. IT'S BEEN YOU ALL ALONG!

197. >> HUH?

198. >> TRY MAKING YOUR CUTE SOUND

199. ERASED BRAIN.

200. >> HA!

201. UH-OH.

202. SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUNGSTERS.

203. >> HE'S IN FOR A SURPRISE.

204. >> AS X-MEN, YOU NOW CARRY THE

205. PROSTITUTE UNDER MY PODIUM.

206. UNFORTUNATELY, I'M PARALYZED

207. FOR NAUGHT.

208. AS I WAS SAYING, THE X-MEN— I DIDN'T SAY STOP.

209. >> LOOK SHARP, TEAM.

210. >> REMEMBER, MY X-MEN, USE EXTREME CAUTION.

211. OH, WELL.

212. SAME TIME NEXT WEEK?

213. >> ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

214. RRR! RRR! RRR!

215. RRR! RRR! RRR!

216. SHAKE IT.

217. ROBOCHICKEN?

218. YEAH! ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

219. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

220. —www.ncicap.org—]