Robot Chicken 2x15

Directed by

Lil' Hitler will win your heart! The Library of Heaven yields answers even God doesn't want you to know. The Burger King serves up some delicious B&E. Garfield and Heathcliff face off in court. A giraffe deals with the five stages of grief. The gang from Police Academy joins the X-Men. Rated TV-MA.

Request examples:

!req Robot Chicken 2x15 [02:32]
!req Robot Chicken 2x15 [Robot Chicken 2x15]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Robot Chicken 2x15 [10-11]; !req Robot Chicken 2x15 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

2. >> AAH!

3. >> IT'S ALIVE!

4. >> HA HA HA HA!

5. >> MORNING BEAR, ARE YOU HAVING SMOKE SEX?

6. >> UH, NO.

7. >> WHAT A DAY!

8. IT'S EXHAUSTING BEING THE CEO OF BURGER KING.

9. HELLO?

10. HELLO?

11. IS ANYONE THERE?

12. DAMN IT.

13. HELLO.

14. WHO IS THIS?

15. I'M THE CEO OF BURGER KING, YOU KNOW.

16. DAH!

17. WHAT WAS THAT?

18. WHO'S THERE?

19. WHEW!

20. MUST HAVE JUST BEEN MY— AAH!

21. I'M FLAME-BROILING IN MY PANTS!

22. WAAHHH!

23. OH! MY ARM!

24. DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

25. HA HA!

26. WHAT?

27. NO!

28. I'VE KILLED MY ONLY SON!

29. IF ONLY PHILIP HAD LIVED TO TASTE THE TRIPLE BACON KING

30. BURGER NOW ON SALE AT PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS.

31. >> THE NEW TRIPLE BACON KING BURGER.

32. SPEND YOUR NIGHTS WITH THE KING.

33. >> OH, PHILIP!

34. >> HEY.

35. >> DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS, MAN.

36. >> MEIN TEACHER?

37. >> YES, LI'L HITLER?

38. >> MEIN DESK IS SMALL.

39. I NEED THIS POLISH BOY'S DESK, ALSO.

40. >> EVERYONE GETS THE SAME SIZE DESK, LI'L HITLER.

41. >> AH, HERE IT IS, THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE.

42. >> WOW!

43. HUH?

44. >> JUST ASK THE BOOK ANY QUESTION ABOUT YOUR LIFE, AND

45. THE ANSWER SHALL BE REVEALED.

46. >> UH... HOW MANY DAYS DID I LIVE?

47. COOL!

48. HOW MANY HOURS IS THAT?

49. >> IT'S NOT A CALCULATOR.

50. THIS IS THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE.

51. >> OOH, HOW MANY TIMES DID I HEAR THE SONG "I TOUCHED MYSELF"

52. BY THE DIVINYLS?

53. HUH... I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE THAN THAT.

54. >> WHY NOT ASK THE BOOK ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS ON EARTH AND HOW

55. THEY IMPACTED YOUR LOVED ONES?

56. >> IN A MINUTE.

57. HEY, BOOK, IF I MADE BRICKS OUT OF ALL THE POOP I EVER POOPED

58. OUT AND BUILT A 6-FOOT HIGH WALL OUT OF THE BRICKS, HOW LONG

59. COULD I MAKE THAT WALL?

60. >> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

61. >> BOOK, TELL THIS MAN HOW MANY MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS HE GAVE HIS

62. FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

63. >> BORING!

64. BOOK, COULD I HAVE FILLED THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING WITH MY

65. OWN POOP?

66. >> DON'T ANSWER THAT, BOOK.

67. >> BUT I WANT TO KNOW.

68. >> NO!

69. >> YES!

70. >> NO!

71. >> YES!

72. >> THAT DOES IT!

73. >> 2.7 MILES?

74. >> HA! I KNOW!

75. >> NOW, CLASS— >> MEIN TEACHER?

76. I WILL NEED THE CZECHOSLOVAKIAN BOY'S DESK AS WELL.

77. >> LI'L HITLER, WHERE'S LITTLE POLASKI?

78. >> CAT COURT IS NOW IN SESSION.

79. WE WILL NOW HEAR THE CASE OF GARFIELD VS. HEATHCLIFF.

80. >> I WAS IN THE FUNNY PAPERS 5 YEARS BEFORE THIS LAME

81. KNOCKOFF.

82. >> JUDGE, IF I MIGHT.

83. I'D LIKE TO PRESENT THIS AFFIDAVIT.

84. OH, SORRY, YOUR HONOR.

85. I'M ON A LASAGNA DIET.

86. I SEE LASAGNA, I EAT IT.

87. >> AW, THAT JOKE SUCKS,

88. EVEN FOR YOU.

89. >> COURT AGREES.

90. THAT JOKE SUCKED.

91. GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID WE ARE AT A STANDSTILL.

92. THERE'S ONLY ONE FAIR WAY TO SETTLE THIS ARGUMENT.

93. CAT FIGHT!

94. >> YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

95. COME ON, FAT BOY!

96. >> COME AND GET IT, CAT.

97. >> RREOWW!

98. OPEN YOUR EYES ALL THE WAY, YOU LAZY.

99. >> I'M GONNA START CALLING YOU "MONDAY."

100. I HATE MONDAYS.

101. >> OH, OOH, I REAL—

102. >> I'M DYING!

103. I'M SO CUTE AND I'M DYING!

104. AAH!

105. >> EAT IT, EAT IT!

106. DIE, DIE!

107. >> ENOUGH.

108. WE HAVE A CHAMPION.

109. THE COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF GARFIELD.

110. >> PTUI!

111. >> OH!

112. HEART... ATTACK...

113. FROM DECADES... OF ONLY...

114. EATING— >> I'M SORRY.

115. I JUST COULDN'T TAKE ANOTHER FREAKING LASAGNA JOKE.

116. >> OH, GODS BE PRAISED, I'M FREE!

117. FREE!

118. >> UP NEXT, CAT COURT HEARS THE ASSAULT CASE AGAINST CHESTER

119. CHEETAH.

120. >> HE HANKERED FOR A HUNK OF MY ASS, YAHOO!

121. >> UH-OH.

122. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

123. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN QUICKSAND.

124. I'LL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THIS TONIGHT WITH THE GUYS.

125. HA HA HA!

126. PERFECT!

127. STUPID QUICKSAND!

128. STUPID JUNGLE!

129. I WANT TO BITE SOMEONE IN THE FACE!

130. MOTHER!

131. MOTHER!

132. MOTHER!

133. AH,

134. YOU STUPID JUNGLE!

135. AH,

136. ARE YOU THERE, GOD?

137. IT'S ME—GIRAFFE.

138. LISTEN, IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE ME A MULLIGAN ON THIS QUICKSAND

139. THING, I PROMISE, I PROMISE NO MORE PEEING ON YOUR SHORTER

140. CREATURES.

141. DEAL?

142. MOMMY.

143. YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I'M COOL

144. WITH THIS.

145. I'LL BET HEAVEN HAS ALL THE TENDER LEAVES I CAN EAT

146. AND EVERYONE GETS THEIR OWN SLURPEE MACHINE.

147. YEAH, TAKE ME SWEET DEATH.

148. I AWAIT YOUR LOVING EMBRACE.

149. WHAT?

150. I THINK I HIT THE BOTTOM.

151. >> WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

152. >> IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

153. NOW IT'S MY PROBLEM.

154. >> LOOK SHARP, TEAM.

155. >> REMEMBER, MY X-MEN, USE EXTREME CAUTION.

156. THIS IS YOUR MOST DANGEROUS MISSION YET.

157. >> RIGHT, PROFESSOR.

158. >> OH, IS IT OK IF I DELETE REAL

159. WORLD ROAD RULES CHALLENGE OFF THE TIVO, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A—

160. WOW!

161. I'M GOING TO NEED SOME NEW STUDENTS.

162. WELCOME, RECRUITS.

163. THOUGH WE'VE HAD TO LOWER OUR STANDARDS THANKS TO A SHORTAGE

164. OF ACTUAL MUTANTS, THE DANGERS YOU'LL FACE ARE NO LESS REAL.

165. YOU'LL BE DEFENDING A WORLD THAT HATES AND FEARS YOU.

166. >> WHAT?

167. HATE AND FEAR US BECAUSE WE'RE MUTANTS?

168. >> NO, BECAUSE YOU WERE IN THE "POLICE ACADEMY" MOVIES.

169. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS

170. CHAIR?

171. AND IT SEEMS WE'RE MISSING ONE RECRUIT.

172. >> SORRY I'M LATE.

173. >> MAHONEY!

174. THIS IS THE DANGER ROOM, THE ULTIMATE TRAINING FACILITY.

175. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT KILLER DEATH RAYS, FLYING

176. BUZZ SAWS, INFLATABLE ... BAGS.

177. LET'S BEGIN.

178. >> HELLO, MY RUBA BROTHER.

179. I'M LARDELL JONES.

180. DESTROY ALL HUMANOIDS.

181. >> EXCUSE ME, UM...

182. PLEASE, STOP THAT.

183. >> YOU'RE AN X MAN.

184. ACT LIKE ONE.

185. >> WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME, DIRTBAG!

186. >> FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, GET THAT BODY TO THE MORGUE.

187. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

188. >> HIGHTOWER, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

189. WELL, THAT'S HORRIFYING.

190. RECRUITS, THESE BATTLE OUTFITS ARE STYLISH,

191. TEMPERATURE-CONTROLLED, AND BEST OF ALL BULLETPROOF.

192. >> AWESOME!

193. >> TACKLEBERRY, NO!

194. >> OF COURSE, THEY CAN ONLY PROTECT THE PARTS OF YOU THEY

195. ACTUALLY COVER.

196. STUPID CHAIR.

197. HEY! YOU!

198. IT'S BEEN YOU ALL ALONG!

199. >> HUH?

200. >> TRY MAKING YOUR CUTE SOUND EFFECTS WITH A TELEPATHICALLY

201. ERASED BRAIN.

202. >> HA!

203. UH-OH.

204. WELCOME NEW GRADUATES OF XAVIER SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUNGSTERS.

205. >> HE'S IN FOR A SURPRISE.

206. >> AS X-MEN, YOU NOW CARRY THE GREAT RESPONSIBILITY—

207. SOME MISCHIEF MAKER HAS GONE TO

208. GREAT LENGTHS TO HIDE A PROSTITUTE UNDER MY PODIUM.

209. UNFORTUNATELY, I'M PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN AND HER

210. ENTHUSIASTIC EFFORTS ARE QUITE FOR NAUGHT.

211. AS I WAS SAYING, THE X-MEN— I DIDN'T SAY STOP.

212. >> LOOK SHARP, TEAM.

213. >> REMEMBER, MY X-MEN, USE EXTREME CAUTION.

214. OH, WELL.

215. SAME TIME NEXT WEEK?

216. >> ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ROWITOOKIDOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

217. RRR! RRR! RRR!

218. BOOM BOOM BOOM RRR! RRR! RRR!

219. SHAKE IT.

220. ROBOCHICKEN?

221. YEAH! ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

222. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

223. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—]