Robot Chicken 2x12

Directed by

'Weird Al' Yankovic as Al yankovic/kevin

Meet Cork, America's first mentally-challenged crime sleuth! The legendary Krakken sea monster learns freedom isn't all it's "krak-ed" up to be. "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Weasel Stomping Day" gets a Robot Chicken music video treatment! The wishes of children come true, with dire results. The crew of the Starship Enterprise faces their gravest foe yet - themselves!

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. ROBOT CHICKEN 35 "THE MUNNERY" [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

2. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

3. >> IT'S ALIVE!

4. >> HEH HEH HEH HEH!

5. >> MOM! I FOUND DAD!

6. >> THE UNITED STATES NAVY, BATTLING A NEW FOE—

7. LOW RECRUITMENT.

8. SO REMEMBER "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL"?

9. NOW WE'RE MORE "DON'T ASK" THAN EVER BEFORE.

10. WHEN THEY WRITE YOUR LIFE STORY, WILL ANYONE WANT TO READ IT?

11. THEN PUT A CHAPTER IN THERE ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MAN

12. ON A SUBMARINE.

13. THAT WOULD BE A NEAT BOOK.

14. BOOYAH. THE NAVY.

15. >> KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

16. LAY DOWN ON YOUR BACKS BEFORE ZOD.

17. NOW, USING YOUR LOWER ABDOMINALS, RAISE YOUR LEGS AND

18. HOLD ON A 5-COUNT BEFORE ZOD.

19. 1 BEFORE ZOD, 2 BEFORE ZOD, 3 BEFORE ZOD...

20. >> THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

21. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

22. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE—

23. >> OH, CRAP!

24. THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT.

25. >> WELL, TAN MY HIDE.

26. LOOK WHO'S COME HOME.

27. DWAYNE, GET ON OUT HERE AND SEE WHAT THE CAT DRUG IN.

28. >> WHY, RITA, I— AW! MY LITTLE GIRL

29. HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO ME.

30. YOU LOOK GOOD, CHILD.

31. >> THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE AUNTIE EM AND UNCLE HENRY'S.

32. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE AUNTIE EM AND UNCLE HENRY'S.

33. >> COMING THIS FALL FROM THE CREATORS OF "MONK,"

34. EVERYONE'S PARENTS' FAVORITE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DETECTIVE,

35. COMES "CORK," AMERICA'S FIRST MENTALLY CHALLENGED

36. CRIME SLEUTH.

37. >> IT'S ANICA DORSEY, THE BANK TELLER.

38. WE'RE ALL OUT OF LEADS, CORK.

39. WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE SITUATION?

40. >> HA HA! I'M A TORNADO!

41. I'M A TORNADO! HA HA HA!

42. >> IT'S A WEDDING BAND.

43. THIS YOUNG MAN JUST FOUND OUR FIRST CLUE.

44. >> GOOD JOB, CORK.

45. >> NO MORE GYM CLASS.

46. >> WHAT IS IT, CORK?

47. >> >> IS IT A WIDOW AND HER

48. BOYFRIEND TRYING TO CASH IN ON HER LATE HUSBAND'S

49. INSURANCE POLICY?

50. >> NAH.

51. >> IS IT A GANG OF OLD POKER BUDDIES WHO DECIDED

52. TO KNOCK OVER A CASINO FOR ONE LAST SHOT AT FORTUNE?

53. >> NAH.

54. >> DO YOU HAVE TO GO NUMBER-ONE?

55. >> YEAH!

56. >> OK. TAKE MY HAND.

57. NO MORE SODA FOR YOU TODAY, OK?

58. HE'S GETTING AWAY!

59. >> >> YOU WANT TO GO FASTER, CORK?

60. >> OK.

61. >> >> LOUD NOISES. NO NOISES.

62. >> YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, CORK.

63. ONE MOVE, AND YOUR PRECIOUS VOLUNTEER BIG SISTER IS GONNA

64. HAVE A BULLET IN HER HEAD!

65. >> CORK, DO SOMETHING!

66. >> BOOBIES. HA HA HA.

67. >> CORK, QUICK! THE BAD MAN TOOK YOUR STRETCH ARMSTRONG!

68. >> NO!

69. >> OW! OW! OW! OW!

70. >> MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

71. MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

72. >> CORK, THAT'S ENOUGH.

73. CORK, THAT'S ENOUGH.

74. CORK.

75. >> MINE! MINE!

76. >> CORK, THANKS TO YOUR UNFLAPPABLE ENTHUSIASM

77. AND SURPRISINGLY HANDY CAPABLE STRENGTHS, THIS CITY

78. OWES YOU A GREAT DEBT.

79. AS A TOKEN OF OUR GRATITUDE, YOU MAY NOW PICK OUT ONE TOY

80. AT THE TOY STORE.

81. >> I WANT SPAGHETTI.

82. >> AAH!

83. >> RELEASE THE DRAGON.

84. >> AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

85. >> I'M FREE. I'M FREE!

86. OH, MY GOD!

87. IT'S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL.

88. I HONESTLY THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER GET OUT.

89. >> AAH!

90. >> ♪ HEARTBREAK, IN THE MORNING THERE'S HEARTBREAK

91. MY KITTENS HAVE LEFT ME AND THE FLOWERS ARE DEAD

92. I HEAR LAUGHTER BUT NEVER FOR ME

93. NO, I'M ALONE DUST AND REFUSE

94. FILLS MY SOUL SORROW

95. EVERY MOMENT IS TORMENT I CAN'T RECALL SUNSHINE

96. AND ALL COLORS ARE GRAY IN THE MIRROR

97. I BEG FOR RELEASE AND HEAR ITS SWEET CALL

98. >> IT'S JUST LIKE ANDY ALWAYS TOLD ME—

99. GET BUSY DYING, OR GET KRAKEN.

100. >> I GOT NO BRAKES!

101. >> ♪ FACES FILLED WITH JOY AND CHEER

102. WHAT A MAGICAL TIME OF YEAR HOWDY HO

103. IT'S WEASEL STOMPING DAY NOW PUT YOUR VIKING HELMET ON

104. SPREAD THAT MAYONNAISE ON THE LAWN

105. DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S WEASEL STOMPING DAY?

106. WEASEL STOMPING DAY ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS

107. LOVE THAT WONDERFUL CRUNCHING NOISE

108. YOU'LL KNOW WHAT THIS DAY'S ABOUT

109. WHEN YOU STOMP A WEASEL'S GUTS RIGHT OUT

110. SO COME ALONG AND HAVE A LAUGH STOMP THEIR WEASELY

111. SPINES IN HALF GRAB YOUR BOOTS

112. AND STOMP YOUR CARES AWAY HIP HIP HOORAY

113. IT'S WEASEL STOMPING DAY ♪

114. IT'S WEASEL STOMPING DAY ♪

115. BENEATH THEIR FEET WHY WE DO IT, WHO CAN SAY?

116. BUT IT'S SUCH A FESTIVE HOLIDAY SO LET THE STOMPING FUN BEGIN

117. BASH THEIR WEASELY SKULLS RIGHT IN

118. IT'S TRADITION THAT MAKES IT OK

119. HEY, EVERYONE, IT'S WEASEL STOMPING

120. WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN ON WEASEL STOMPING

121. PUT DOWN YOUR GUN IT'S WEASEL STOMPING DAY

122. >> WEASEL STOMPING DAY.

123. >> HEY!

124. >> WELL, HERE WE ARE, FACE TO FACE.

125. >> STARLIGHT, STAR BRIGHT, FIRST STAR I SEE TONIGHT,

126. I WISH I MAY, I WISH I MIGHT HAVE THIS WISH I WISH TONIGHT.

127. I WISH—

128. HOLY CRAP!

129. I-I-I GOT TO TELL OSCAR.

130. OSCAR!

131. OSCAR! OSCAR!

132. >> AAH!

133. >> HEY, OSCAR, IT'S ME—KEVIN.

134. >> OH, WHAT HAPPENED?

135. >> I MADE A WISH ON THAT STAR.

136. >> DUDE, WE GOT TO TELL JIMMY.

137. >> DUDES, WE'VE GOT TO TELL LOUIS.

138. >> LOUIS. HEY. HEY, LOUIS.

139. >> >> MAKE A WISH. IT'LL COME TRUE.

140. >> A GIANT SQUID? YOU IDIOT.

141. WE'RE NOT EVEN NEAR WATER.

142. >> AW, CRAP! SORRY, GUYS.

143. LET'S GO TELL TIMMY.

144. >> EW!

145. >> TIMMY! HEY, TIMMY!

146. USE YOUR LASER CANNON TO WAKE HIM UP.

147. >> I HAVE A LASER CANNON?

148. >> ALL GIANT ROBOTS HAVE LASER CANNONS. DUH!

149. >> HOLY CRAP!

150. I HAVE A LASER CANNON!

151. >> TIMMY! TIMMY! MAKE A WISH, AND IT'LL COME TRUE.

152. >> TIMMY?

153. >> HEY, LET'S GO GET ZACH.

154. >> ZACH, WAKE UP! WAKE UP, ZACH!

155. >> MAKE A WISH, AND IT'LL COME TRUE.

156. >> JERKS.

157. IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

158. >> WANT TO PLAY DOCTOR?

159. >> I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE.

160. >> REPORT, MR. SCOTT.

161. >> CAPTAIN, SOMEBODY TRADED ALL OUR DILITHIUM CRYSTALS

162. FOR PORNOGRAPHIC HOLOGRAMS.

163. >> AND?

164. >> WITH NO POWER, ALL LIFE SUPPORT ON THE SHIP

165. IS ABOUT TO FAIL.

166. >> AND?

167. >> OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO BEAM DOWN TO THE NEAREST PLANET,

168. BUT THERE IS ONLY ENOUGH POWER TO SEND 5 PEOPLE.

169. I CAN'T DO NO MORE.

170. >> CAPTAIN, LOGIC DICTATES THAT EACH OF THE 433 CREW MEMBERS—

171. >> HEY! WHERE DID KIRK GO?

172. OH, NO, HE DIDN'T.

173. >> NO FAIR, JIM!

174. >> NAH NAH NAH! YOINK!

175. >> NOW THERE'S ONLY ENOUGH POWER FOR 4 OF US TO BEAM OUT!

176. >> I'M A DOCTOR.

177. I HAVE TO GO.

178. >> >> UM... I HAVE A VAGINA.

179. >> >> A VAGINA COULD PROVE

180. QUITE USEFUL.

181. >> I'M TOBY, THE REDSHIRT.

182. YOU NEED A REDSHIRT.

183. YOU JUST DO.

184. >> QUITE LOGICAL.

185. >> SURE.

186. ONLY ONE OF US CAN GO, OLD FRIEND.

187. >> WE SHALL HANDLE THIS THE ONLY LOGICAL WAY.

188. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

189. >> DID YOU JUST TRY THE VULCAN NERVE PINCH ON ME?

190. >> NO.

191. >> OOH! MY EYE!

192. >> OH, SNAP. IT LOOKS LIKE

193. WE GOT SOME SORT OF DONNER PARTY SITUATION UP IN HERE.

194. >> DAMN IT, JIM.

195. I'M A DOCTOR, NOT A— >> A CANNIBAL. YES, WE KNOW.

196. >> AM I REALLY THAT PREDICTABLE?

197. >> CHAIN OF COMMAND, PEOPLE.

198. SO I GUESS WE START BY EATING...

199. LET'S SEE...

200. >> AW, HELL, NO.

201. YOU KNOW WHAT?

202. ALL Y'ALL.

203. >> IT IS YOUR DUTY.

204. >> SCREW THAT!

205. ON BEHALF OF ALL THE REDSHIRTS THAT FELL BEFORE ME,

206. IT MAKES ME VERY, VERY PROUD TO SPEAK THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE.

207. I'M THE ONLY ONE

208. THAT BROUGHT A GUN.

209. >> UH-OH.

210. >> MMM! THAT'S GOOD HAM.

211. [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

212. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY NATIONAL

213. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—]