1. IT'S ALIVE!
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2. ONE, TWO, THREE.
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3. HA, PAPER BEATS FACE.
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4. ONE, TWO, THREE
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5. ROCK PUNCHES NUTS.
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6. ONE, TWO, THREE.
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7. YO, SCISSORS IN YOUR ANUS!
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8. I HATE THIS GAME.
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9. OUR CARE BEAR FRANCHISE IS
ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE.
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10. CORRUPTED
BY IMPURE CREATURES
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11. THAT LEECH OFF
OUR SUNSHINE LAND.
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12. I'M TALKING, OF COURSE,
ABOUT THE CARE BEAR COUSINS.
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13. CARE BEAR COUSINS SUCK!
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14. I MIGHT BE LOVE A LOT BEAR,
BUT I CAN HATE A LOT TOO.
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15. WE CAN NO LONGER IGNORE
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
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16. DID I MISS SOMETHING?
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17. WE MUST SEND THEM ALL
TO THE GREAT
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18. CLOUD KEEPER IN THE SKY.
BEDTIME BEAR.
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19. Y'ALL KNOW WHAT TIME
IT IS, IT'S BEDTIME!
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20. AND BY BED
I MEAN ETHNIC,
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21. AND BY TIME,
I MEAN CLEANSING.
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22. CARE-A-LOT!
CARE-A-LOT!
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23. STOP!
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24. WHOA, FAMOUS CARE TAKER
DON CHEADLE.
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25. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THIS,
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26. I BUILT A HOTEL WHERE
THE COUSINS CAN BE SAFE.
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27. YEAH, WE CAN KEEP
THE CORPSES IN THERE!
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28. NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT
I MEANT AT ALL.
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29. I LOVED YOU IN SWORDFISH
MR. CHEADLE.
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30. CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
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31. AH, OK.
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32. I'M LOTS-OF-LAUGHS BEAR,
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33. AND I'VE GATHERED YOU
ALL HERE TODAY,
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34. FOR A SPECIAL HAPPY CELEBRATION.
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35. IF IT'S A SPECIAL
HAPPY CELEBRATION,
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36. THEN WHY AM I CRAPPING
A LOAD IN MY DRAWERS?
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37. WE DID IT!
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38. WE KILLED ALL
THE CARE BEAR COUSINS!
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39. HOORAY FOR MURDER!
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40. NOW LET US CELEBRATE
OUR GENOCIDE.
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41. GET YOUR PARTY ON!
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42. EVERYONE, EAT SOME RAINBOW!
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43. HMM, THAT'S GOOD RAINBOW.
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44. IT'S THE GREAT CLOUD KEEPER
IN THE SKY!
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45. CARE BEARS, I HAVE
WATCHED YOUR ACTIONS
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46. WITH GREAT DISPLEASURE.
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47. BUT WE PURIFIED THE LAND
OF CARE-A-LOT.
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48. FOR YOUR DARK
AND TERRIBLE DEED,
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49. I SHALL TURN CARE-A-LOT INTO
A DARK AND TERRIBLE PLACE.
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50. A HELL ON EARTH.
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51. I SHALL TURN CARE-A-LOT INTO...
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52. NEW JERSEY.
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53. NO!
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54. HELLO, I'M NEW JERSEY'S GOVERNOR
JON CORZINE.
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55. I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED
THIS REENACTMENT
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56. OF OUR STATE'S
PROUD HISTORY.
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57. THE GARDEN STATE,
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58. COME GET IN
ON SOME OF THIS RAINBOW.
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59. DID YOU GET IT?
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60. HEY, NICE SHOES.
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61. BUT THEY'D LOOK
MUCH BETTER IN MY PANTS.
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62. WAIT.
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63. I MEAN,
ARE YOU FROM HEAVEN?
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64. 'CAUSE I'VE GOT AN ERECTION.
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65. AH, ROB SCHNEIDER.
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66. IF HE WASN'T SO HANDSOME,
I WOULD STOP SEEING HIS MOVIES.
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67. DON'T YOU AGREE,
LITTLE HEIMLICH?
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68. YEAH, PAPA.
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69. AH, LOOK OUT,
MY PAPA!
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70. PAPA!
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71. PAPA!
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72. AHHH!
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73. AND PUNCH AND KICK
AND PUNCH AND KICK
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74. AND PUNCH AND KICK
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75. AND JAZZ HANDS,
AND PUNCH
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76. AND GOOD. GOOD,
YOUNG HEIMLICH.
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77. YOU ARE
LEARNING VERY FAST
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78. ARE YOU READY TO FACE
YOUR DEEPEST FEAR?
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79. YEAH!
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80. HE'S CHOKING!
HE'S A GONER, HEIMLICH.
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81. NEIN, HE'S PRACTICE.
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82. HI-YAH!
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83. HEIMLICH,
THAT MANEUVER
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84. IS THE KEY
TO YOUR GREATNESS!
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85. YOU ARE READY.
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86. THE CHOKER.
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87. HIS PORTIONS ARE
ALWAYS TOO BIG.
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88. HEIMLICH,
DO THE MANEUVER!
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89. HEIMLICH, HOW CAN
WE EVER THANK YOU?
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90. NEED BRATWURST AND BEER.
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91. AND THIS IS HOW I,
JOE SCHUMACHER, SEE IT.
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92. IT'S ALWAYS SAUSAGE
WITH YOU, ISN'T IT?
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93. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.
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94. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.
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95. MARY HAD A —
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96. LI-LI-LITTLE LAMB.
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97. RICKY, THE DOCTORS
SAY THE ACCIDENT
LEFT YOU MUTE.
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98. DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
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99. IT MEANS YOU CAN'T
TALK NO MORE.
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100. BUT JUST BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T TALK
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101. DON'T MEAN YOU
CAN'T COMMUNICATE.
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102. LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU!
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103. YOU'LL WEAR THIS
EVERYWHERE YOU GO.
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104. KICK IT OVER HERE,
HI MY NAME IS RICKY!
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105. NICE JOB ON DEFENSE,
HI MY NAME IS RICKY.
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106. YOU SUCK.
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107. YOU SERIOUSLY
SUCK, DUDE.
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108. RICKY, THE DOCTORS SAY
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109. THE ACCIDENT LEFT YOU
MOSTLY DEAF.
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110. DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
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111. I SAID, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
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112. WELL ANYWAY, THIS IS
JUST ANOTHER CHALLENGE,
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113. HUH, CHAMP-O?
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114. I GOT YOU
THESE HEARING AIDS.
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115. HEY, NICE HUSTLE,
HELLO I'M HEARING
IMPAIRED!
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116. YOU KINDA SUCK,
HELLO, I'M HEARING IMPAIRED.
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117. RICKY, THE DOCTORS
SAY THE ACCIDENT
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118. AFFECTED YOUR BRAIN.
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119. WE DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS YET,
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120. BUT I GOT YOU THESE
GOOGLY-EYE GLASSES.
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121. WE WON, HOWDY, I HAVE
BRAIN DAMAGE!
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122. THREE CHEERS FOR
HOWDY I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!
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123. HIP HIP HOORAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
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124. WOW, THAT WAS
REALLY SOMETHING.
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125. WHICH KID
IS YOURS?
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126. THAT FAT
ASIAN KID.
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127. OH, MY GOD!
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128. JEFFREY, WE'RE OUT
OF ICE CREAM!
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129. LOOK, POTTER, I TAUGHT
THE SORTING HAT A NEW TRICK.
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130. VIRGIN!
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131. LOOKS LIKE POTTER IS
HE WHO SHALL NOT BE LAID.
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132. GUESS THE MONSTER PUBERTUS
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133. HASN'T CAUGHT UP
WITH YOU YET.
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134. PUBERTUS IS JUST
A MYTH, MALFOY.
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135. SECOND BASE.
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136. CLASS, TODAY WE'LL
BE LEARNING SPELLS
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137. WHICH GIVE OBJECTS
THE PROPERTY OF WOOD.
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138. PROPERTY OF WOOD?
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139. THAT'S HAPPENING
TO ME RIGHT NOW.
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140. PUBERTUS!
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141. PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE,
I THINK THE MONSTER
PUBERTUS HAS CURSED ME.
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142. YO.
WHO ARE YOU?
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143. AW, HARRY,
IT'S ME, DOUBLE DOUGH.
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144. BUT DUMBLEDORE
ISN'T —
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145. LISTEN, I'M A DIFFERENT ACTOR
IN EVERY MOVIE.
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146. HERE, THIS MIGHT AGE YOU.
IT WAS YOUR DAD'S.
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147. IT'S ENGRAVED.
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148. "THIS HANDY STONE
FITS IN YOUR PALM,
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149. BUT ONLY HEAT
WILL TURN IT ON."
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150. I KNOW WHAT TURNS ME ON —
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151. HALLE BERRY IN SWORDFISH.
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152. DVD-US PAUSES.
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153. OH, NO.
WHAT IS IT, RON?
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154. THE MONSTER PUBERTUS
HAS CURSED ME, TOO.
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155. HE'S EVEN CURSED SCABBERS.
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156. ALL RIGHT,
YOU CAN STOP NOW.
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157. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
LET'S ASK
HAGRID FOR HELP.
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158. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, HERMIONE.
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159. WE NEED TO CONFRONT
THE TERRIBLE HORROR OURSELVES,
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160. AND POTENTIALLY END UP
HOSPITALIZED, LIKE ALWAYS.
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161. ALL RIGHT, JUST FINISH.
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162. PROFESSOR SNAPE,
HARRY AND RON
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163. HAVE BEEN CURSED BY
THE MONSTER PUBERTUS.
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164. PUBERTUS, EH?
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165. LET'S DISCUSS THIS FURTHER
IN MY MAGICAL JACUZZI.
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166. BARRY WHITUS, CANDLELIGHTUS,
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167. GIRL EXCITE-US.
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168. SO, SHALL WE PLAY
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169. PUT THE SORTING HAT
ON THE SLYTHERIN?
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170. PEDIFILIUS REPELLUS.
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171. ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
PUBERTUS LIVES IN
THIS DUNGEON.
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172. HARRY, I'M SCARED.
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173. YOU'RE ALWAYS SCARED,
YOU CHICKEN.
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174. I CAN'T HELP IT!
I'M A SCARED, PIMPLE-FACED,
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175. RED-HEADED
CHICKEN VIRGIN!
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176. RON, SHUSH! DO YOU
HEAR THAT NOISE?
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177. PUBERTUS!
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178. HORMONUS
CONTROLLUS!
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179. ONLY HEAT WILL
TURN IT ON.
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180. I MUST HAVE
TO RUB THE STONE.
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181. IT WORKED!
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182. QUICKLY HARRY,
RUB IT OUT AGAIN.
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183. HARRY, RUB ANOTHER ONE
OUT QUICKLY!
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184. I'M RUBBING AS HARD AS I CAN,
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185. AND THE STONE IS
GETTING ALL CHAFED.
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186. HARRY, I FORGOT TO EXPLAIN.
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187. THE RUBBING STONE
CAN ONLY BE USED
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188. THREE TIMES IN A DAY.
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189. FOUR IF YOU TAKE A WEEK OFF.
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190. THEN HOW DO WE
DEFEAT PUBERTUS?
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191. MAN, YOU CAN'T DEFEAT PUBERTUS.
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192. HE LIVES INSIDE Y'ALL.
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193. JUST AS MY OWN DEMON,
WANDUS LIMPUS,
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194. PREVENTS ME FROM HAVING
MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS.
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195. CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS
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