1. - IT'S ALIVE!
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2. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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3. - OH! I WANT MY SUNDAE.
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4. PFFT! UHHH!
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5. - WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
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6. - IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
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7. - NONE OF MY BUSINESS?
IT ISN'T MY BUSINESS THAT—
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8. - ARE YOU REALLY A TOOTH FAIRY?
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9. - UM, YEAH.
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10. - DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T.
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11. - MAYBE YOU'RE RATHER BE
WITH YOUR WHORE.
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12. - DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT.
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13. - YOU ADMIT IT!
YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARD.
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14. - THAT IS IT!
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15. I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
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16. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
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17. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
YOU GET OUT!
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18. - SHH.
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19. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
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20. GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME.
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21. AAH! UH! AAH!
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22. - YOU BE GOOD NOW.
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23. - YOU ADMIT IT!
YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARD!
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24. - THAT IS IT!
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25. I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
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26. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
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27. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
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28. - SHH.
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29. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
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30. AAH! UH! AAH!
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31. - HEY, CHAMP.
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32. UH, OK. PACK UP. YOU AND ME
ARE GOING ON A VACATION,
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33. UH, TO DISNEYLAND.
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34. - IS—IS MOM COMING?
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35. - DISNEYLAND!
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36. - I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
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37. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
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38. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
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39. - SHH.
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40. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
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41. HEY, GET OFF ME.
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42. AAH! UHH!
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43. - FREEZE!
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44. - FREEZE? WHEN I DROP A FAIRY?
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45. YOU KNOW I AM ONLY
GETTING STARTED, MOTHERF—
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46. - HEY! SIR, PUT DOWN
THE WEAPON.
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47. PUT DOWN THE WEAPON.
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48. - STAY DOWN!
- ON THE GROUND!
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49. - SPREAD YOUR LEGS.
DON'T MOVE.
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50. PUT YOUR HANDS
BEHIND YOUR BACK, SIR.
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51. CONGRATULATIONS!
THIS IS THE DARKEST SKETCH
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52. IN TELEVISION HISTORY!
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53. - DARKEST SKETCH!
DARKEST SKETCH! DARKEST SKETCH!
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54. - WHOO! I DID IT!
DID YOU GUYS GET THAT?
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55. - DARLING, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
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56. - OHH...
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57. - BRRRR.
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58. - OH!
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59. - UH, FOLKS, THIS IS
YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
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60. SORRY FOR THE LITTLE BUMP.
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61. WE'RE JUST GOING THROUGH
A LITTLE TURBULENCE,
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62. AND THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
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63. - THIS IS ACTUALLY
MY FIRST TIME FLYING,
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64. AND I'M PRETTY NERVOUS.
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65. - OH, DON'T BE.
I FLY ALL THE TIME.
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66. IT'S THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL.
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67. - THIS IS THE CAPTAIN AGAIN.
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68. WELL, FOLKS, THE COPILOT JUST
WON'T STOP TOUCHING MY WHEEL.
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69. HE'S REALLY ANNOYING.
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70. - FOLKS, THIS IS THE COPILOT,
AND IT'S NOT HIS WHEEL.
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71. IT'S THE AIRLINE'S WHEEL,
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72. AND I CAN TOUCH IT
IF I WANT TO.
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73. - THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.
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74. - AAH!
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75. - LET GO OF MY HANDS!
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76. - WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF?
STOP HITTING YOURSELF.
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77. - HI!
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78. - EXCUSE ME, MR. CHICKEN,
BUT CAN YOU TELL ME
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79. WHY YOU CROSSED THE ROAD?
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80. - WHY, SURE, BILLY.
I'LL TELL YOU.
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81. - DON'T LET THIS CAR IN.
WHAT ARE YOU—
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82. - I HAVE TO.
IT'S COMMON COURTESY.
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83. - THIS TRAFFIC IS RIDICULOUS.
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84. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
MY TELEPORTER TO WORK TODAY.
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85. I HAVE A TELEPORTER, YOU KNOW.
I INVENTED IT MYSELF.
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86. - BLAH, BLAH, BLEE, BLAH.
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87. AND YET EVERY DAY,
YOU CARPOOL WITH US.
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88. - UGH! WE'RE
IN THE SLOWEST LANE!
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89. OH! THIS MINIVAN IN FRONT
OF US IS KILLING ME!
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90. OOH. AN HONOR STUDENT AT
THE FANCHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
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91. BLOW UP
FANCHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
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92. UGH! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!
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93. - UHH.
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94. HMM.
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95. - GRRR!
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96. - YOU MISSED THE KIDS.
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97. - THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. AH.
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98. - WHAT WAS A GOOD—OH!
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99. - HA HA HA!
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100. - OH! OH! IT'S BURNING MY EYES!
THEY'RE WATERING.
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101. - UNLOCK THE WINDOWS!
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102. - BEHOLD THE GASEOUS STENCH
OF SKELETOR'S BREAKFAST BURRITO!
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103. HA HA HA HA!
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104. - OH, CRAP.
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105. - OK, OK. DON'T LOOK AT THEM.
JUST ACT CASUAL.
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106. - IN YOUR FACE, VILLAINS.
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107. - THIS IS EXIT 32. MERGE OVER.
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108. - I'M SIGNALING,
BUT THEY WON'T LET ME IN.
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109. - IT'S COMMON COURTESY!
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110. - WE ARE SO LATE, MAN.
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111. - OH, THERE'S A SPOT.
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112. - TO HELL WITH THIS.
I'M TELEPORTING.
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113. - WOW. HE REALLY DID
HAVE A TELEPORTER.
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114. - WHAT THE—
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115. - BALDY! BALDY! BALDY!
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116. - SON OF A BITCH.
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117. - YOU DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR.
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118. - IS EVERYONE READY FOR MORE
OF THOSE HYSTERICAL BLOOPERS?
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119. YOU KNOW, THE "TODAY" SHOW
HAS BEEN A TRUSTED SOURCE
OF MORNING NEWS
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120. FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS,
BUT IT'S NOT ALWAYS BORING.
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121. JUST WATCH!
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122. - AND SADLY,
LING LING THE PANDA
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123. WAS DESTROYED BY FEDERAL
WILDLIFE OFFICIALS.
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124. IN A RELATED STORY—
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125. - UH!
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126. - IN A RELATED STORY,
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127. TRAFFIC ON NEW YORK CITY'S
BROOKLYN BRIDGE
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128. WAS BROUGHT
TO A STANDSTILL TODAY—
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129. - TRAFFIC WAS BROUGHT TO—
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130. - UH!
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131. HI, KATIE.
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132. - SOMEONE GET THE WINDEX.
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133. EVERYONE REMEMBERS
"MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD."
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134. BUT THINGS WEREN'T ALWAYS
HUNKY-DORY IN THE HOOD.
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135. - DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHARING IS?
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136. SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO—OW.
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137. PETER, COME OVER HERE, PLEASE.
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138. THE TRAIN TRACK IS
TOO CLOSE TO THE LAKE.
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139. I GOT A SHOCK. WEREN'T
WE GONNA SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?
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140. - I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT,
YOU KNOW, THE LAKE IS—UH!
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141. - WE'RE SOLVING
THE PROBLEM, PETER.
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142. SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
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143. - SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
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144. PROBLEM SOLVED.
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145. NOW GET READY FOR ONE
OF THE BIGGEST BLOOPERS
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146. OF ALL TIME!
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147. - THIS JUST IN—
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148. CNN CALLS THE STATE
OF FLORIDA FOR AL GORE.
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149. THAT MEANS GORE HAS WON
THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
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150. THANK YOU, JESUS.
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151. - WE SURE DODGED THAT BULLET.
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152. - OOPS.
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153. THE TOP-RATED "CSI" IS FULL
OF TWISTS AND TURNS,
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154. AS WELL AS ITS SHARE
OF UNEXPECTED BLOOPER ACTION!
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155. - HA HA HA!
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156. YOU GUYS! AW, THAT WAS—
THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
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157. OH,
I CUT MYSELF.
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158. IT'S REALLY BAD. IT'S DEEP.
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159. OW.
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160. - THIS BULLET CASING
SHOULDN'T BE HERE
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161. IF THE SHOOTING TOOK PLACE
10 METERS WEST.
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162. - HA HA HA!
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163. - SORRY. THAT WAS ME.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. SORRY.
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164. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
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165. - NOW IT'S TIME FOR THOSE
AMAZING SPORTS BLOOPERS.
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166. THEY'RE ALWAYS A HOME RUN.
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167. - YEEAH!
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168. OH! UH!
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169. - UH!
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170. - OW! UH! AH!
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171. - OOH! AAH!
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172. - THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY,
BUT COME BACK NEXT TIME
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173. FOR MORE OF THOSE
CA-RAZY BLOOPERS!
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174. - BAWK!
- BAWK.
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175. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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176. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
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177. —www.ncicap.org—
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