1. - IT'S ALIVE!
Copy !req
2. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
Copy !req
3. - OH! I WANT MY SUNDAE.
Copy !req
4. PFFT! UHHH!
Copy !req
5. - WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
Copy !req
6. - IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Copy !req
7. - NONE OF MY BUSINESS?
IT ISN'T MY BUSINESS THAT—
Copy !req
8. - ARE YOU REALLY A TOOTH FAIRY?
Copy !req
9. - UM, YEAH.
Copy !req
10. - DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T.
Copy !req
11. - MAYBE YOU'RE RATHER BE
WITH YOUR WHORE.
Copy !req
12. - DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT.
Copy !req
13. - YOU ADMIT IT!
YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARD.
Copy !req
14. - THAT IS IT!
Copy !req
15. I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Copy !req
16. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
Copy !req
17. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
YOU GET OUT!
Copy !req
18. - SHH.
Copy !req
19. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Copy !req
20. GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME.
Copy !req
21. AAH! UH! AAH!
Copy !req
22. - YOU BE GOOD NOW.
Copy !req
23. - YOU ADMIT IT!
YOU UNBELIEVABLE BASTARD!
Copy !req
24. - THAT IS IT!
Copy !req
25. I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
Copy !req
26. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
Copy !req
27. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
Copy !req
28. - SHH.
Copy !req
29. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Copy !req
30. AAH! UH! AAH!
Copy !req
31. - HEY, CHAMP.
Copy !req
32. UH, OK. PACK UP. YOU AND ME
ARE GOING ON A VACATION,
Copy !req
33. UH, TO DISNEYLAND.
Copy !req
34. - IS—IS MOM COMING?
Copy !req
35. - DISNEYLAND!
Copy !req
36. - I'M GONNA SHUT YOU UP
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Copy !req
37. - YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
Copy !req
38. - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
Copy !req
39. - SHH.
Copy !req
40. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Copy !req
41. HEY, GET OFF ME.
Copy !req
42. AAH! UHH!
Copy !req
43. - FREEZE!
Copy !req
44. - FREEZE? WHEN I DROP A FAIRY?
Copy !req
45. YOU KNOW I AM ONLY
GETTING STARTED, MOTHERF—
Copy !req
46. - HEY! SIR, PUT DOWN
THE WEAPON.
Copy !req
47. PUT DOWN THE WEAPON.
Copy !req
48. - STAY DOWN!
- ON THE GROUND!
Copy !req
49. - SPREAD YOUR LEGS.
DON'T MOVE.
Copy !req
50. PUT YOUR HANDS
BEHIND YOUR BACK, SIR.
Copy !req
51. CONGRATULATIONS!
THIS IS THE DARKEST SKETCH
Copy !req
52. IN TELEVISION HISTORY!
Copy !req
53. - DARKEST SKETCH!
DARKEST SKETCH! DARKEST SKETCH!
Copy !req
54. - WHOO! I DID IT!
DID YOU GUYS GET THAT?
Copy !req
55. - DARLING, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Copy !req
56. - [AH-CHOO]
Copy !req
57. - OHH...
Copy !req
58. - BRRRR.
Copy !req
59. - OH!
Copy !req
60. - UH, FOLKS, THIS IS
YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
Copy !req
61. SORRY FOR THE LITTLE BUMP.
Copy !req
62. WE'RE JUST GOING THROUGH
A LITTLE TURBULENCE,
Copy !req
63. AND THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
Copy !req
64. - THIS IS ACTUALLY
MY FIRST TIME FLYING,
Copy !req
65. AND I'M PRETTY NERVOUS.
Copy !req
66. - OH, DON'T BE.
I FLY ALL THE TIME.
Copy !req
67. IT'S THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL.
Copy !req
68. - THIS IS THE CAPTAIN AGAIN.
Copy !req
69. WELL, FOLKS, THE COPILOT JUST
WON'T STOP TOUCHING MY WHEEL.
Copy !req
70. HE'S REALLY ANNOYING.
Copy !req
71. - FOLKS, THIS IS THE COPILOT,
AND IT'S NOT HIS WHEEL.
Copy !req
72. IT'S THE AIRLINE'S WHEEL,
Copy !req
73. AND I CAN TOUCH IT
IF I WANT TO.
Copy !req
74. - THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.
Copy !req
75. - AAH!
Copy !req
76. - LET GO OF MY HANDS!
Copy !req
77. - WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF?
STOP HITTING YOURSELF.
Copy !req
78. - HI!
Copy !req
79. - EXCUSE ME, MR. CHICKEN,
BUT CAN YOU TELL ME
Copy !req
80. WHY YOU CROSSED THE ROAD?
Copy !req
81. - WHY, SURE, BILLY.
I'LL TELL YOU.
Copy !req
82. - DON'T LET THIS CAR IN.
WHAT ARE YOU—
Copy !req
83. - I HAVE TO.
IT'S COMMON COURTESY.
Copy !req
84. - THIS TRAFFIC IS RIDICULOUS.
Copy !req
85. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
MY TELEPORTER TO WORK TODAY.
Copy !req
86. I HAVE A TELEPORTER, YOU KNOW.
I INVENTED IT MYSELF.
Copy !req
87. - BLAH, BLAH, BLEE, BLAH.
Copy !req
88. AND YET EVERY DAY,
YOU CARPOOL WITH US.
Copy !req
89. - UGH! WE'RE
IN THE SLOWEST LANE!
Copy !req
90. OH! THIS MINIVAN IN FRONT
OF US IS KILLING ME!
Copy !req
91. OOH. AN HONOR STUDENT AT
THE FANCHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
Copy !req
92. BLOW UP
FANCHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
Copy !req
93. UGH! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!
Copy !req
94. - UHH.
Copy !req
95. HMM.
Copy !req
96. - GRRR!
Copy !req
97. - YOU MISSED THE KIDS.
Copy !req
98. - THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. AH.
Copy !req
99. - WHAT WAS A GOOD—OH!
Copy !req
100. - HA HA HA!
Copy !req
101. - OH! OH! IT'S BURNING MY EYES!
THEY'RE WATERING.
Copy !req
102. - UNLOCK THE WINDOWS!
Copy !req
103. - BEHOLD THE GASEOUS STENCH
OF SKELETOR'S BREAKFAST BURRITO!
Copy !req
104. HA HA HA HA!
Copy !req
105. - OH, CRAP.
Copy !req
106. - OK, OK. DON'T LOOK AT THEM.
JUST ACT CASUAL.
Copy !req
107. - IN YOUR FACE, VILLAINS.
Copy !req
108. - THIS IS EXIT 32. MERGE OVER.
Copy !req
109. - I'M SIGNALING,
BUT THEY WON'T LET ME IN.
Copy !req
110. - IT'S COMMON COURTESY!
Copy !req
111. - WE ARE SO LATE, MAN.
Copy !req
112. - OH, THERE'S A SPOT.
Copy !req
113. - TO HELL WITH THIS.
I'M TELEPORTING.
Copy !req
114. - WOW. HE REALLY DID
HAVE A TELEPORTER.
Copy !req
115. - WHAT THE—
Copy !req
116. - BALDY! BALDY! BALDY!
Copy !req
117. - SON OF A BITCH.
Copy !req
118. - YOU DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR.
Copy !req
119. - IS EVERYONE READY FOR MORE
OF THOSE HYSTERICAL BLOOPERS?
Copy !req
120. YOU KNOW, THE "TODAY" SHOW
HAS BEEN A TRUSTED SOURCE
OF MORNING NEWS
Copy !req
121. FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS,
BUT IT'S NOT ALWAYS BORING.
Copy !req
122. JUST WATCH!
Copy !req
123. - AND SADLY,
LING LING THE PANDA
Copy !req
124. WAS DESTROYED BY FEDERAL
WILDLIFE OFFICIALS.
Copy !req
125. IN A RELATED STORY—
Copy !req
126. - UH!
Copy !req
127. - IN A RELATED STORY,
Copy !req
128. TRAFFIC ON NEW YORK CITY'S
BROOKLYN BRIDGE
Copy !req
129. WAS BROUGHT
TO A STANDSTILL TODAY—
Copy !req
130. - TRAFFIC WAS BROUGHT TO—
Copy !req
131. - UH!
Copy !req
132. HI, KATIE.
Copy !req
133. - SOMEONE GET THE WINDEX.
Copy !req
134. EVERYONE REMEMBERS
"MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD."
Copy !req
135. BUT THINGS WEREN'T ALWAYS
HUNKY-DORY IN THE HOOD.
Copy !req
136. - DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHARING IS?
Copy !req
137. SOMETIMES IT'S NICE TO—OW.
Copy !req
138. PETER, COME OVER HERE, PLEASE.
Copy !req
139. THE TRAIN TRACK IS
TOO CLOSE TO THE LAKE.
Copy !req
140. I GOT A SHOCK. WEREN'T
WE GONNA SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?
Copy !req
141. - I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT,
YOU KNOW, THE LAKE IS—UH!
Copy !req
142. - WE'RE SOLVING
THE PROBLEM, PETER.
Copy !req
143. SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
Copy !req
144. - SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
Copy !req
145. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Copy !req
146. NOW GET READY FOR ONE
OF THE BIGGEST BLOOPERS
Copy !req
147. OF ALL TIME!
Copy !req
148. - THIS JUST IN—
Copy !req
149. CNN CALLS THE STATE
OF FLORIDA FOR AL GORE.
Copy !req
150. THAT MEANS GORE HAS WON
THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
Copy !req
151. THANK YOU, JESUS.
Copy !req
152. - WE SURE DODGED THAT BULLET.
Copy !req
153. - OOPS.
Copy !req
154. THE TOP-RATED "CSI" IS FULL
OF TWISTS AND TURNS,
Copy !req
155. AS WELL AS ITS SHARE
OF UNEXPECTED BLOOPER ACTION!
Copy !req
156. - HA HA HA!
Copy !req
157. YOU GUYS! AW, THAT WAS—
THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
Copy !req
158. OH,
I CUT MYSELF.
Copy !req
159. IT'S REALLY BAD. IT'S DEEP.
Copy !req
160. OW.
Copy !req
161. - THIS BULLET CASING
SHOULDN'T BE HERE
Copy !req
162. IF THE SHOOTING TOOK PLACE
10 METERS WEST.
Copy !req
163. - HA HA HA!
Copy !req
164. - SORRY. THAT WAS ME.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. SORRY.
Copy !req
165. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
Copy !req
166. - NOW IT'S TIME FOR THOSE
AMAZING SPORTS BLOOPERS.
Copy !req
167. THEY'RE ALWAYS A HOME RUN.
Copy !req
168. - YEEAH!
Copy !req
169. OH! UH!
Copy !req
170. - UH!
Copy !req
171. - OW! UH! AH!
Copy !req
172. - OOH! AAH!
Copy !req
173. - THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY,
BUT COME BACK NEXT TIME
Copy !req
174. FOR MORE OF THOSE
CA-RAZY BLOOPERS!
Copy !req
175. - BAWK!
- BAWK.
Copy !req
176. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
Copy !req
177. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
Copy !req
178. —www.ncicap.org—
Copy !req