1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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2. - IT'S ALIVE!
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3. - MM! OH, NO! OHH!
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4. - AHHHHH...
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5. YEAH.
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6. YOU'RE A BITCH.
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7. - HA HA HA!
SORRY, LITTLE GIRL,
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8. BUT QUEEN BERYL
NEEDS YOUR LIFE FORCE
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9. IN ORDER TO TAKE OVER
THE PLANET EARTH.
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10. HA HA HA!
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11. - SERENA, CHANGE
INTO SAILOR MOON, QUICKLY.
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12. - RIGHT. MOON. PRISM. POWER.
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13. OHH...
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14. IN THE NAME OF THE MOON,
I WILL PUNISH—
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15. OH, MY GOD.
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16. - HA HA HA! HMM!
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17. WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
OH, MAN! OH!
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18. I—I DON'T KNOW
WHY THAT HAPPENED.
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19. - JEEZ.
- I'M SO SORRY.
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20. THAT IS SO DISRESPECTFUL OF ME.
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21. YOU ARE PRETTY HOT, THOUGH.
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22. - SHOULD WE STILL FIGHT?
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23. BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY
WANT TO ANYMORE.
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24. - UM, YOU KNOW, THE MOMENT
HAS DEFINITELY PASSED.
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25. - ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
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26. - YEAH, SURE. OK. ANOTHER TIME.
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27. - AW, YEAH, MAN.
I AM RIDGED FOR HER PLEASURE.
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28. - BIG TALK FOR A VIRGIN.
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29. - IF I POON ENOUGH NOOBS,
I CAN RAISE MY RANK
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30. IN THE SERVER FROM 3 TO 1.
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31. - BE OUR 99th CALLER RIGHT NOW
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32. TO WIN OUR
"IMPOSSIBLE 3" CONTEST.
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33. - OOH, OOH.
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34. - HELLO. YOU'RE OUR 99th CALLER.
- EXCELLENT!
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35. - YOU WIN YOUR CHOICE
OF A GAMEBOY ADVANCE
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36. OR A DATE WITH "M:I 3" STAR
SCARLET JOHANSSON.
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37. - CAN I HAVE BOTH?
- NO.
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38. - DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE RIGHT NOW?
- YES.
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39. OHHHHHHHHHHHH...
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40. OOOOOHHH...
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41. UMMMMMMMMM...
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42. UHHHHHHHH...
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43. UMMMMMMMMMMM...
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44. OHHHHHHHHHHH...
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45. UHHHHHHHH...
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46. I GUESS I CHOOSE
SCARLET JOHANSSON.
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47. - LOOK. CAN'T I JUST ROLL DOWN
THE WINDOW AND SHAKE HIS HAND?
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48. - NO. THE CONTEST
SPECIFIES LUNCH.
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49. - CRAP IN A HAT.
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50. - SO DO YOU EVER PLAY THE SIMS?
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51. I MADE A SCARLET JOHANSSON SIM,
AND SHE LIVED IN MY HOUSE,
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52. AND SOMETIMES WE WENT
IN THE HOT TUB TOGETHER,
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53. BUT I FORGOT TO BUY
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER,
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54. SO THERE WAS A GREASE FIRE
IN THE KITCHEN,
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55. AND SCARLET DIED.
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56. - MM-HMM.
- GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY.
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57. - AAH! LEAVE US ALONE,
YOU HOOLIGANS.
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58. HI-JAH! KI-CHA!
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59. - HE FIGHTS LIKE A TIGER.
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60. - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
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61. THAT WAS SO STELLAR.
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62. - GARY IS TOTALLY
GONNA SCORE NOW.
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63. - YOU—YOU SAVED ME.
YOU'RE MY HERO.
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64. MMM...
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65. - DO YOU TAKE THIS BE'HOM
TO BE YOUR BE'NAL?
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66. - HI-JAH!
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67. - A-GOO. GOO GOO GOO.
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68. - SCARLET, MY LOVE,
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69. THERE'S SOMETHING
I MUST TELL YOU BEFORE I DIE.
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70. - WHAT IS IT, MY LOVE?
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71. - I STAGED THE WHOLE FIGHT
ON OUR FIRST DATE.
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72. I WON YOUR HEART
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.
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73. - OH, THANK GOD.
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74. I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU, TOO.
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75. I'M NOT REALLY
SCARLET JOHANSSON.
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76. I WAS JUST A PROFESSIONAL
SCARLET JOHANSSON IMPERSONATOR.
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77. AHEM.
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78. MY REAL NAME
IS RAYMOND DiBONATELLO
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79. FROM QUEENS, NEW YORK.
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80. THAT EXPLAINS
WHY SCARLET JOHANSSON
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81. HAD A GIANT JOHANSSON.
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82. - OH!
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83. OH, GO IN PEACE, MY ANGEL.
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84. - QUEEN BERYL,
I HAVE FAILED TO BRING YOU
SAILOR MOON'S LIFE FORCE.
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85. - YOU FOOL!
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86. YOUR UTTER INCOMPETENCE
IS DWARFED
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87. ONLY BY YOUR SHEER STUPIDITY.
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88. EW!
- OH! OH! I'M SORRY,
YOUR MAJESTY.
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89. I JUST—I KIND OF LIKE IT
WHEN YOU YELL AT ME.
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90. IT'S HOT.
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91. - IT'S MY JOB
TO PROVIDE A BRIDGE
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92. BETWEEN THE BLOKES
AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER
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93. LIKE COBRA COMMANDER
AND SERPENTOR
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94. AND THE PEONS AT THE BOTTOM.
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95. I HELP THE PEONS FEEL VALUABLE,
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96. ALTHOUGH IT HELPS
NOT TO CALL THEM PEONS.
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97. - HERE'S THAT REPORT
YOU WANTED, SIR.
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98. - I TOLD YOU
NOT TO STAPLE IT, WRETCH!
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99. SO I'M THE BRIDGE.
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100. - YEAH. CLONING
IS AN INTEGRAL PART
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101. OF COBRA'S PLAN
FOR WORLD DOMINATION.
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102. - HAIL COBRA!
- HAIL COBRA.
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103. BASICALLY, MY JOB IS TO DEFRAG
THE DNA SEQUENCER
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104. BEFORE EACH CLONING
AND JUICE THE CAPACITOR—
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105. - HAIL COBRA!
- HAIL COBRA.
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106. AND MONITOR THE PLASMA FEED.
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107. I STARTED OUT IN ACCOUNTING,
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108. BUT THERE'S A LOT MORE ROOM
FOR ADVANCEMENT DOWN HERE.
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109. - BAIL NOBRA!
- BAIL NOBR—OH.
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110. OH, HANG ON A SECOND.
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111. - YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW,
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112. ESTABLISHING
THE COBRA BRAND NAME
IS A PRIORITY FOR US,
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113. SO WE PUT THE COBRA LOGO
ON JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.
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114. - HEY, SAFETY IS JOB ONE
HERE AT COBRA.
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115. WE FULLY COMPLY
WITH OSHA STANDARDS.
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116. IT'S BEEN 34 DAYS SINCE
OUR LAST ON-SITE ACCIDENT.
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117. THE WEATHER DOMINATOR EXPLODED,
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118. AND, UH, WE LOST ABOUT 110 GUYS.
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119. YOU CAN STILL KIND OF SEE
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120. WHAT'S LEFT
OF SCOTT ANDERSON UP THERE.
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121. WE REALLY SHOULD GET THAT DOWN.
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122. YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN
CHUCKING A SOFTBALL AT IT,
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123. BUT IT'S UP THERE PRETTY GOOD.
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124. - INTEROFFICE ROMANCES
ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
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125. THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON
FOR THAT.
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126. THEY'RE A DISTRACTION.
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127. THEY CUT DOWN ON PRODUCTIVITY,
AND THEY ALWAYS END BADLY.
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128. - BWAH HA HA HA!
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129. - TRAINING AND REEDUCATION
ISN'T JUST ABOUT COMBAT.
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130. IT'S ALSO ABOUT LEARNING
THE WHOLE COBRA MIND SET.
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131. OK. LET'S SAY YOU WANT
TO TAKE OUT THE G.I. JOE
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132. QUICKLY AND QUIETLY WITHOUT
ALERTING THE OTHER MEMBERS
OF HIS UNIT.
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133. - I'D USE A GAS PELLET.
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134. - YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
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135. - I'D WEAVE, LIKE,
A WICKER BASKET
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136. AND CONSTRUCT
A ROBOT SNAKE IN IT
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137. THAT, LIKE, SHOOTS GAS
OUT OF ITS MOUTH.
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138. - EXCELLENT. ANYONE ELSE?
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139. - OH, WELL, I'D TOTALLY DO
WHAT FRANK SAID,
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140. WITH THE BASKET AND ALL,
BUT I'D ALSO YELL, "COBRA!"
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141. - PERFECT.
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142. - NOW I KNOW.
- AND KNOWING
IS HALF THE BATTLE.
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143. - DATE RAPE! DATE RAPE!
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144. DATE RAPE! DATE RAPE!
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145. - SOON, I WILL HAVE
YOUR LIFE FORCE, SAILOR MOON,
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146. AND MY PLAN TO RULE THE EARTH
WILL COME TO FRUITION.
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147. OOH.
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148. ANIME SURE IS WEIRD.
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149. - RAY CHARLES, YOU TALENTED,
BUT YOU RUINED MY LIFE...
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150. - COMING NEXT CHRISTMAS,
"RAY 2: RAY'S DAY OUT."
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151. - JUST LIKE YOU RUINED
SO MANY WOMEN BEFORE ME.
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152. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
YOUR LITTLE BROTHER
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153. FELL INTO THAT WASHTUB
AND DROWNED.
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154. YOU GOT TO FACE YOUR PROBLEMS.
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155. OW!
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156. DAMN!
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157. RAY! MY BACK IS BROKEN.
OH, GOD, RAY.
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158. YOU BLIND SON OF A BITCH.
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159. YOU KILLED ME RAY,
YOU BLIND SON OF A BITCH.
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160. - WAAH!
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161. - "RAY 2: RAY'S DAY OUT,"
COMING NEXT CHRISTMAS.
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162. - HAW HAW!
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163. - HAW HAW!
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164. - TONIGHT, THE TOP 10 THINGS
EDDIE BUTTSKIN SHOULD NEVER SAY.
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165. NUMBER TEN...
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166. - IF YOU DIE,
COULD I HAVE YOUR ROOM?
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167. - NUMBER 9...
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168. - ME SO HORNY.
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.
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169. - NUMBER 8...
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170. - THERE'S BLOOD WHEN I WIPE.
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171. - NUMBER 7...
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172. - I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR FACE
ON TV, DAVID LETTERMAN.
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173. - WAIT. THAT'S KIND OF SPECIFIC.
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174. - AAH! AAH!
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175. OH, GOD, HELP ME! OH, GOD!
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176. AAH! AAH! AAH!
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177. - MMM.
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178. AHH.
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179. - HA HA! OK. OK, GUYS.
THAT'S A LOT OF—
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180. HEY, QUIT IT. HEY, GET OFF.
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181. HEY, YOU GUYS, STOP IT!
COME ON! STOP!
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182. - IS EVERYONE READY
FOR SOME HILARIOUS HOME VIDEOS?
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183. WE HERE AT "BLOOPERS" CENTRAL
ASKED YOU TO SEND IN YOUR TAPES
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184. SO WE CAN PRODUCE THIS SHOW
FOR ALMOST NOTHING.
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185. WE THOUGHT WE'D SEE NUT SHOTS
AND SENIORS FALLING DOWN,
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186. BUT THESE TRAGEDIES
KICKED IT UP A NOTCH—BAM!
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187. DID I SAY, "BAM"?
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188. LET'S HOPE, FOR THIS GUY'S SAKE,
THAT I DIDN'T.
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189. - MOVE IT, POP.
OUT OF THE WAY, OLD MAN.
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190. - MOVE YOUR ASS, DAMN IT.
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191. GO! WHOO HOO!
- GO! WHOO HOO!
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192. NOW WE'RE GOING!
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193. - HA HA HA! IT'S WHAT YOU GET.
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194. OH!
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195. - AND THEY SAY YOU CAN'T SOLVE
THE HOMELESS PROBLEM.
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196. SOME PROBLEMS CAN'T BE SOLVED
BY STICKING YOU NOSE IN
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197. WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG.
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198. - HONEY, BE CAREFUL.
- SHUT UP.
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199. - MAYBE A MECHANIC
COULD FIX IT BETTER.
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200. - I CAN DO IT
IF YOU JUST SHUT UP.
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201. - MAMA, I'M PREGNANT.
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202. - NO!
- NO!
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203. - HEY, SHE TOLD ME
SHE WAS ON THE PILL...
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204. AND 18.
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205. HIDDEN CAMERAS CAN YIELD
CHERISHED MEMORIES
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206. OR INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE.
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207. THE ONLY X-FACTOR IS YOU.
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208. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SWEETIE?
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209. - OH, NOTHING, NOTHING.
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210. - YOU READY?
- UH-HUH.
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211. - OHH... HUH!
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212. OH, GOD! OH, I'M SORRY.
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213. - YOU ING LOSER!
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214. YOU HAVE FAILED ME
AS A BOYFRIEND,
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215. AND YOU HAVE
FAILED YOURSELF AS A MAN,
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216. "ROBOT CHICKEN" CO-HEAD WRITER
DOUGLAS GOLDSTEIN!
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217. - BET YOU DIDN'T
SEE THAT COMING.
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218. MATTER OF FACT, NEITHER DID SHE.
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219. THIS VIDEO WAS SENT IN
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220. BY SOMEONE WHO FOUND IT
IN THE WOODS.
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221. LET'S WATCH.
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222. - JOSH!
- MICHAEL!
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223. - I'M COMING, JOSH!
- WAIT FOR ME! MICHAEL!
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224. MICHAEL, WAIT FOR ME!
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225. MICHAEL!
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226. AHH!
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227. - RUMOR HAS IT, THOSE KIDS
WERE TORN LIMB FROM LIMB.
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228. SOMETIMES THE BEST HOME VIDEOS
CAN BE TAKEN AWAY FROM HOME.
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229. JUST WATCH THESE
CRAZY VACATION VIDEOS.
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230. - BLAAGH!
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231. - THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE
FOR THIS EPISODE.
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232. SO COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
HILARIOUS HOME VIDEOS.
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233. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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234. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—
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