1. - IT'S ALIVE!
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2. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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3. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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4. - HA HA! AW!
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5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BILLY.
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6. - MY BAD.
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7. - EMILIO. FAGABEEFIE.
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8. - WE NOW RETURN TO
THE "HOLLYWOOD SPOTLIGHT"
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9. OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
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10. WE'VE FOLLOWED THE LIFE
OF THE HULK
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11. AS HE'S GROWN UP
WITH HIS ABUSIVE FATHER,
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12. HIS EARLY CAREER,
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13. AN AWKWARD EMERGENCE
INTO PUBERTY.
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14. IT WAS DURING HIS TEENAGE YEARS
AS A STUNT DOUBLE
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15. ON THE ILL-FATED
PRIME-TIME PILOT "GUMBO"
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16. THAT HE MET THE MAN
WHO CHANGED HIS LIFE,
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17. BILL BIXBY.
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18. THE TWO WERE SURPRISED
TO FIND THAT THEY
LOOKED EXACTLY ALIKE.
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19. THEY DECIDED TO MAKE
A SHOW TOGETHER,
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20. AND CBS AGREED.
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21. - LOOK AT HIM WALK! GENIUS!
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22. THE HULK WASN'T
TOO BAD EITHER.
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23. WE HAD HIM SHOW UP
TWICE EACH EPISODE
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24. TO BEAT UP THE BAD GUYS.
A PUNCH HERE, A GROWL THERE.
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25. HE WAS A MILLIONAIRE.
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26. THE GUY'S AGENT WAS AMAZING.
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27. - TIMES WERE FINALLY GOOD
FOR THE HULK.
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28. FLUSH WITH GREEN,
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29. HE FED A SUDDEN APPETITE
FOR BOOZE, BABES, AND BLOW.
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30. BUT THESE HIGH TIMES
WOULDN'T LAST FOR LONG.
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31. AUDIENCES STOPPED LIKING HULK
EVEN WHEN HE WAS ANGRY.
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32. WITH THE SHOW CANCELED,
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33. THE HULK DID WHAT EVERY OTHER
FAILED CELEBRITY DID
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34. IN THE MID-1980's.
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35. HE WHORED HIMSELF.
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36. - THINGS FOUND IN A CAR.
PLACES TO EAT!
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37. THINGS IN A HAT!
KINDS OF SKIS!
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38. FAMOUS ACTORS!
KINDS OF ROCKS!
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39. WAYS TO COOK AN EGG!
NAMES FROM THE BIBLE!
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40. - TAKING ANY BIT PART
HE COULD,
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41. HULK'S ACTING CAREER PLUMMETED,
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42. AND EVENTUALLY HE SOLD HIS NAME
TO HULK HOGAN.
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43. CHESTERFIELD EVENPURPLE.
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44. - SAD NEWS FROM
THE ENTERTAINMENT WORLD TODAY.
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45. THE FATHER OF
THE INCREDIBLE HULK
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46. LOST HIS LONG BATTLE
WITH GAMMA RADIATION POISONING
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47. AT THE AGE OF 74.
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48. - THE ONE-TIME SUCCESSFUL
TV STAR HAS GONE INTO SECLUSION
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49. TO MOURN HIS LOSS
IN PRIVATE.
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50. - THE HULK'S CAREER
APPEARED TO BE OVER.
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51. YEARS LATER,
HOPE WOULD COME FROM CHINA.
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52. ANG LEE, A RELATIVELY UNKNOWN
CHINAMAN FILMMAKER,
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53. WOULD SURPRISE THE WORLD
WITH HIS OPUS,
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54. "CROUCHING TIGER,
HIDDEN DRAGON."
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55. THE HULK WAS LIVING
OFF HIS MEAGER RESIDUALS
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56. WHEN LEE SOUGHT HIM OUT,
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57. AND HE RECOGNIZED THE DIRECTOR
WAS A NATURAL CHOICE
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58. TO TELL HIS COMPLEX TALE
OF ANGER AND DESTRUCTION.
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59. - HULK MOVIE VERY CLEAR
TO ME.
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60. COMIC BOOK MEET SLOW,
BEAUTIFUL HAIKU.
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61. PRETTY BIRD.
OH, PRETTY BIRD.
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62. HOW HULK SING SO HIGH.
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63. - SOUNDS FASCINATING.
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64. IT SURELY WILL NOT BE HUGE FLOP
THAT RUIN MY CAREER.
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65. SURELY.
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66. - FOR ONE LAST TIME, THE HULK
WAS BACK IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
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67. ADORED AND ADMIRED.
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68. HOLLYWOOD WAS GREEN WITH ENVY
FOR THE SUCCESS COMING HIS WAY.
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69. BUT HOLLYWOOD LOVES YOU
FOR ONLY SO LONG.
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70. - IT STINKS.
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71. AUDIENCES AGREE
THAT ANG LEE'S MOTION PICTURE
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72. IS ONE GAMMA-STRENGTH BOMB.
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73. IS THIS THE END
OF THE HULK'S CAREER?
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74. THIS ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER
SAYS YES.
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75. - HOLLYWOOD MAKE HULK SAD.
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76. HULK SPENT TIME IN ASIA
TO FIND SELF,
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77. MET SUK LEE,
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78. AND NOW FINALLY TRYING
TO BE HAPPY.
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79. - SOON AFTER RETURNING
TO AMERICA,
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80. HULK ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST
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81. AND NOW COUNSELS
INNER-CITY CHILDREN
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82. WITH ANGER-MANAGEMENT TROUBLES.
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83. - HULK LIVE DAY BY DAY.
NOT ANGRY ANYMORE.
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84. IS HULK HAPPY?
HA HA!
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85. HULK THINK SO.
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86. WHO'S NUTS NOW?
HA HA HA!
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87. - OH, GOSH! BOBBY SEAVER
SMILED AT ME DURING HOMEROOM.
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88. DO YOU THINK HE'LL ASK ME
TO THE DANCE?
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89. - SURE, IF HE'S INTO GIRLS
WITH FAT THIGHS.
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90. - I ALWAYS PAY MY TAXES.
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91. I HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE GEPPETTO IS BURIED.
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92. - BILL? BILL, I'M HOME.
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93. BILL, ARE YOU HERE?
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94. CHELSEA?
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95. HONEY?
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96. THERE YOU ARE.
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97. - WELCOME HOME THERE,
SNUGGLEBUNNY.
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98. I WAS JUST READING
THE PAPER.
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99. - YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
THE DAY I HAD TODAY.
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100. IS THAT RIGHT?
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101. - I WAS IN MEETINGS ALL DAY.
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102. BILL!
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103. - UH-OH!
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104. I'M TOO FAST FOR YOU BECAUSE
I WAS A RUNNING BACK...
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105. WOO-HOO! WOO!
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106. - UH-OH.
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107. - LEON!
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108. - SABRINA, MY FOOD
IS ON THE TOP SHELF,
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109. AND I CAN'T REACH IT,
AND I'M REALLY HUNGRY.
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110. WILL YOU GIVE ME SOME FOOD?
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111. - UH, NO.
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112. - OH, BABY, OH, COME ON,
I WAS JUST—
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113. NO, NO! MY GOLF CLUBS!
OH, COME ON!
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114. OH, THAT'S MY SUIT!
HEY, THAT TV'S MINE!
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115. OH, BABY!
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116. I WAS JUST SITTING ON HER EGG
BECAUSE—
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117. DON'T THROW THAT!
OH, COME ON, HONEY!
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118. - GOOD EVENING.
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119. ETERNIA'S FIRST
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
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120. TOOK PLACE EARLIER TODAY IN
CLEAR DEFIANCE OF FEDERAL LAW.
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121. ONE-TIME OUTLAW "TOO BAD"
HAS ENTERED INTO HOLY MATRIMONY
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122. WITH HIMSELF.
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123. - BUT FIRST OUR TOP STORY.
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124. THE SCANDAL INVOLVING CAPTAIN
OF THE ROYAL GUARD TEELA
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125. AND LOCAL NIGHTCLUB OWNER
BEAST MAN CONTINUES TO UNFOLD.
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126. A RAUNCHY SEX ROMP
BETWEEN THE PAIR
WAS CAPTURED ON VIDEO
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127. AND MADE PUBLIC
EARLIER THIS WEEK.
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128. - UH! YEAH! YEAH!
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129. GREAT! AWESOME!
YOU'RE GREAT!
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130. WOO! YOU'RE THE BEST!
AWESOME!
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131. TOTALLY INTO IT!
UH! UH! UH!
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132. HELLO?
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133. YEAH, I'M TOTALLY INTERESTED
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134. IN CHANGING MY LONG-DISTANCE
SERVICE PROVIDER.
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135. - TEELA'S FATHER, MAN-AT-ARMS,
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136. MADE HIS FIRST OFFICIAL
STATEMENT EARLIER TODAY.
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137. - OUR FAMILY
HAS BEEN DEVASTATED
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138. BY THE RELEASE
OF THIS SORDID VIDEOTAPE.
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139. TEELA IS
A RESPECTABLE YOUNG WOMAN
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140. WHO WOULD NEVER DEGRADE HERSELF
IN THIS MANNER.
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141. - HA HA!
I'M HAVING FUN! WOO!
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142. AWESOME.
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143. - WE PLAN TO FILE CHARGES
AGAINST BEAST MAN IMMEDIATELY.
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144. - BUT HOW WILL THIS AFFECT
THE MAY SWEEPS PERFORMANCE
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145. OF TEELA'S
NEW REALITY PROGRAM?
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146. - AND THIS IS HOW QUANTUM
CHROMO DYNAMICS THEORIZES
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147. HOW QUARKS INTERACT
BY EXCHANGING PARTICLES
ON A SUBATOMIC LEVEL.
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148. - YOU'RE STUPID.
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149. - PRINCE ADAM
OF THE ROYAL FAMILY
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150. ALSO EXPRESSED HIS CONCERNS.
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151. - I WAS OUTRAGED BY WHAT I SAW
ON THAT VIDEO.
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152. TEELA KEPT HOGGING
THE CAMERA.
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153. I COULD BARELY SEE BEAST MAN
AT ALL.
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154. I MEAN...
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155. - IN A RELATED STORY,
A NEW SEX TAPE
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156. FEATURING COURT MAGICIAN ORKO
HAS SURFACED.
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157. THE DOG'S OWNERS HAVE SO FAR
DECLINED COMMENT.
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158. - AAH! UH!
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159. - A WITCH! A WITCH!
LOOK AT THE WITCH!
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160. - OOH, A WITCH.
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161. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
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162. - A HUGE CROWD
OF MICHAEL JACKSON FANS
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163. HAS FORMED OUTSIDE
THE SANTA BARBARA COURTHOUSE
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164. JUST TO GET A GLIMPSE
OF THEIR EMBATTLED IDOL.
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165. THE KING OF POP IS DUE HERE
ANY MINUTE.
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166. WAIT A SECOND.
I'VE JUST HEARD—YES.
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167. YES, HE'S HERE.
MICHAEL JACKSON IS HERE.
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168. - HI, EVERYBODY, IT'S ME,
MICHAEL JACKSON.
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169. HOORAY! HI!
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170. WEE! I LOVE YOU!
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171. HERE WE GO. LOOK AT ME.
I'M A...
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172. SO FUN.
WE GONNA BE GOOD FRIENDS.
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173. AW, THANKS FOR COMING,
EVERYBODY.
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174. YAY! WEE!
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175. I LOVE YOU ALL.
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176. WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS
TOGETHER.
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177. WE CAN BEAT THE EVIL
WITH LOVE.
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178. I LOVE YOU!
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179. - IT'S—IT'S...
MICHAEL JACKSON?
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180. - NO, NO,
THAT'S NOT MICHAEL JACKSON.
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181. I'M MICHAEL JACKSON. REALLY.
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182. LOOK AT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE,
REALLY.
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183. IT SAYS, "MICHAEL JACKSON."
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184. - I AM MICHAEL JACKSON,
THE REAL MICHAEL JACKSON.
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185. I WAS KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS
OVER 15 YEARS AGO.
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186. THE CONCERT ACCIDENT
GAVE THEM AN OPPORTUNITY
THEY COULDN'T PASS UP.
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187. I WAS TAKEN AWAY
TO ANOTHER PLANET,
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188. WHILE A FAKE WAS LEFT
IN MY PLACE
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189. ALL AS A PART OF A PLAN
TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
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190. - UH, THAT DOESN'T SEEM
TO MAKE MUCH SENSE.
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191. - THOSE ARE LIES, ALL LIES.
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192. STOP LYING.
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193. - MY BABY!
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194. - NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.
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195. - [VOCALIZES, MUSIC PLAYING]
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196. PREPARE TO DIE!
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197. - OH, MY GOD,
HE'S GOT A GUN!
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198. - BUT WHICH—WHICH ONE
IS THE REAL MICHAEL JACKSON?
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199. - TO BE SAFE,
YOU MUST SHOOT US BOTH.
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200. - OH, THAT MUST BE
THE REAL ONE.
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201. - I GUESS THAT'S AN ACQUITTAL.
HA HA HA! HMM...
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202. UH! DAMN IT!
DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
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203. YEARS OF PLANNING RUINED!
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204. - HOW WERE WE GOING
TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
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205. WITH A WHITE MICHAEL JACKSON
ANYWAY?
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206. - DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!
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207. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
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208. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
—www.ncicap.org—
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209. - STUPID MONKEY!
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