1. (GASPS) Sir, look, it's a man.Copy !req
2. Impossible.Copy !req
3. There's nothing in that
direction but miles of desert.Copy !req
4. Sweet mercy!Copy !req
5. Water...Copy !req
6. Water...Copy !req
7. Don't just stand there,
get this man some water.Copy !req
8. Food...Copy !req
9. - Food...
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
10. - (BURPS) Money.
- What?Copy !req
11. Money!Copy !req
12. Money...Copy !req
13. Uh, sir?Copy !req
14. - Money.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
15. Take the whole treasury.Copy !req
16. Hey. Where is he going?Copy !req
17. Man,
I hope we don't get punishedCopy !req
18. for emptying the safe.Copy !req
19. Yeah, I hope they
don't transfer usCopy !req
20. to the middle of the desert.Copy !req
21. Aw, you're just cranky
'cause it's hot.Copy !req
22. You think?Copy !req
23. Oh, no!
An evil monster
is attacking the city.Copy !req
24. Looks like it's time
to transform into...Copy !req
25. Super Ranger Scout Rider!Copy !req
26. Transformation
sequence activate.Copy !req
27. Now!Copy !req
28. Is she done yet?Copy !req
29. I can't even a little bit
tell what's happening.Copy !req
30. Oh, well, you need
that extra ribbon.Copy !req
31. That's just common sense.Copy !req
32. Foul beast,Copy !req
33. you will be punished
for attacking this city.Copy !req
34. All right,
let's see some action.Copy !req
35. As soon as I charge up my
Mega Sword Laser Buster.Copy !req
36. Descend to 400 feet
and increase
speed to 20 knots.Copy !req
37. Negative, we can't descend.Copy !req
38. Something's wrong,
we're stuck.Copy !req
39. Captain, you need to see this.Copy !req
40. All right, sailors,
we're in an aquarium tank.Copy !req
41. We've trained for this.Copy !req
42. Stations! Now!Copy !req
43. And maybe if we clap,
she'll come out
and say "Hello."Copy !req
44. Here we are, my warriors.Copy !req
45. Now, I know the
voyage was hard,Copy !req
46. full of danger.Copy !req
47. I know there were some timesCopy !req
48. that you doubted
my leadership.Copy !req
49. - Some!
- Shh!Copy !req
50. The point is we made it
to a new land, okay?Copy !req
51. Now, let's pillage its richesCopy !req
52. and take them back
to our homes.Copy !req
53. Hi, Eric!Copy !req
54. Er... Um...Copy !req
55. Eric. Hi!Copy !req
56. Does that farmer know you?Copy !req
57. Um, no, I think she must mean
some other Eric.Copy !req
58. Eric!Copy !req
59. It's me, your neighbor!Copy !req
60. Wait a minute.Copy !req
61. Did you get lost at sea
and take us in a giant circle?Copy !req
62. Are we right back
where we started?Copy !req
63. Of course not.
I would never do that.Copy !req
64. You'd all be so angry at me.Copy !req
65. No, no. This is a brand new
place I've never been to.Copy !req
66. But your house is right here.Copy !req
67. Hi, Dad!Copy !req
68. This is all a
misunderstanding.Copy !req
69. I did not take us in a circle.Copy !req
70. This woman is a stranger
who's gone mad.Copy !req
71. And the child's also mad.Copy !req
72. That is someone else's house
and I've never seen it before.Copy !req
73. So, we can pillage the house?Copy !req
74. Uh... Yeah.Copy !req
75. Pillaging!Copy !req
76. I got a gold vase.Copy !req
77. I got a fancy chair.Copy !req
78. I got a painting of
Eric and his family.Copy !req
79. Now that we're
done pillaging,Copy !req
80. let us return to our homes.Copy !req
81. Hey, maybe next time you
should pillage a map.Copy !req
82. My whole life was
in that house.Copy !req
83. What on earth?Copy !req
84. Suit...Copy !req
85. Suit...Copy !req
86. Don't just stand there,
get this man a suit.Copy !req
87. Job...Copy !req
88. Job...Copy !req
89. Well, don't just stand there,
hire this man.Copy !req
90. I did a great job
hiring that guy.Copy !req
91. I don't know how he does it
but sales are up 200%.Copy !req
92. Business...Copy !req
93. Business...Copy !req
94. Hurry, please.Copy !req
95. A business...Copy !req
96. What are you doing?Copy !req
97. Don't just stand there,
give that man your business.Copy !req
98. So, Alison broke up with me
but I don't wanna change
my profile pictureCopy !req
99. 'cause it's really good.Copy !req
100. She has no right.Copy !req
101. Can't you just crop her out?Copy !req
102. No, she's the only one
in the picture.Copy !req
103. Look! A real bear.Copy !req
104. Um...Copy !req
105. What do we do?
What do we do?Copy !req
106. Oh, my gosh,
I'm so scared right now.Copy !req
107. Shush. Okay.
Yeah, me, too.Copy !req
108. Just remember,Copy !req
109. they're just as scared of us
as we are of them.Copy !req
110. Oh, that makes me feel better.Copy !req
111. Now, I'm not scared at all.Copy !req
112. Now the bear is as not
as scared of usCopy !req
113. as we aren't of it.Copy !req
114. Get afraid again.Copy !req
115. I am.Copy !req
116. - (BEAR LAUGHS)
- This is ridiculous.Copy !req
117. Nope, back to scared.Copy !req
118. It's no use.Copy !req
119. If we're not afraid,
she eats us.Copy !req
120. If we're afraid,
we can't move.Copy !req
121. There's gotta be some
middle ground.Copy !req
122. What if we were just kind of
suspicious of the bear?Copy !req
123. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
124. I got my eyes on you, bear.Copy !req
125. - (GROWLING)
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
126. Don't you try any
bear stuff on me.Copy !req
127. All right, I am one step ahead
of this game.Copy !req
128. - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
129. Watching you, bear,
with my eyes.Copy !req
130. - (LOW GROWLING)
- Yeah.Copy !req
131. Not if we see you first.Copy !req
132. I built a robot that
can defeat any chess master.Copy !req
133. Observe...Copy !req
134. Can I take a bathroom break?Copy !req
135. If you leave, you forfeit.Copy !req
136. But we've been here for a day
on just this first move.Copy !req
137. If you leave, you forfeit.Copy !req
138. I'm hungry and tired.Copy !req
139. If you leave, you forfeit.Copy !req
140. Ugh, I can't do this anymore.Copy !req
141. I win.Copy !req
142. Dad, are you sleepwalking?Copy !req
143. Dad, you're making a mess.Copy !req
144. You have to wake up.Copy !req
145. Honey, no, no.Copy !req
146. You can't wake your father up.Copy !req
147. It's dangerous to
wake your fatherCopy !req
148. when he's sleepwalking.Copy !req
149. Can we wake him now?Copy !req
150. Nope, it's still
too dangerous.Copy !req
151. What about now?Copy !req
152. Can't wake him.Copy !req
153. Can we wake him now?Copy !req
154. Too dangerous.Copy !req
155. We have to wake him up, right?Copy !req
156. Sorry.Copy !req
157. Now can we wake him up?Copy !req
158. Wait.Copy !req
159. Ooh!Copy !req
160. No, we can't.Copy !req
161. Come on. We have to
wake him up now!Copy !req
162. It's dangerous to wake your
father when he's sleepwalking.Copy !req
163. Really? More dangerous
than launching himself
in a catapult?Copy !req
164. Yes.Copy !req
165. Actually, no.Copy !req
166. We probably should
have woke him up.Copy !req
167. This was a lovely dinner.Copy !req
168. Did you wanna split the bill?Copy !req
169. Okay. Um, I'll just take
care of it.Copy !req
170. Is everything all right?Copy !req
171. When you asked
me out to dinner,Copy !req
172. it sounded like you had
something important to ask me.Copy !req
173. I mean everything
you ask for sounds important.Copy !req
174. But still...Copy !req
175. What's on your mind?Copy !req
176. Marriage?Copy !req
177. What?Copy !req
178. Marriage...Copy !req
179. Give me...Copy !req
180. Give me marriage.Copy !req
181. I don't understand.Copy !req
182. - Marriage...
- (CLATTERING)Copy !req
183. Ma... Marriage...Copy !req
184. Are you saying "mirage"?Copy !req
185. Is that what
you're saying?Copy !req
186. Marriage!Copy !req
187. Are you saying "mirage"?Copy !req
188. Mirage...Copy !req
189. Mirage...Copy !req
190. Mirage...Copy !req
191. No.Copy !req
192. No.Copy !req
193. It wasn't real.Copy !req
194. None of it was real.Copy !req
195. The bill?Copy !req
196. From the restaurant?Copy !req
197. What? Ha-ha. I knew...Copy !req
198. Yes, I knew it was real.
I knew...Copy !req
199. Huh? Oh, wow!Copy !req
200. That... that is pretty steep.Copy !req
201. I... I can't afford this.Copy !req
202. Money...Copy !req
203. Money...Copy !req
204. Ah, what do we have here?Copy !req
205. Two children wandering through
the dark forest all alone.Copy !req
206. It would be a shame if a witch
were to fatten
them up and eat them!Copy !req
207. Hello there, children.
Are you lost?Copy !req
208. Oh, ja, danke schoen.Copy !req
209. We have been lost
in the woods for days.Copy !req
210. Guten tag. I am Gretel and
this is mine brother, Hansel.Copy !req
211. You poor dears,
you must be hungry.Copy !req
212. Why don't you come inside,
get some restCopy !req
213. and eat my delicious
gingerbread house!Copy !req
214. Mmm...Copy !req
215. - Nein.
- Yes, you can eat it... What?Copy !req
216. You don't want to eat it?Copy !req
217. Um, why not?Copy !req
218. If your house is made entirely
out of gingerbread,Copy !req
219. then doesn't the roof get
soggy when it rains?Copy !req
220. - Um...
- Und do you change
the licorice sidingCopy !req
221. or is it all stale?Copy !req
222. Well...Copy !req
223. Are those leaves,
stuck in the frosting gutters?Copy !req
224. I mean, I've never cleaned
them so probably... Er...Copy !req
225. Ach du lieber! Look!Copy !req
226. There is a bird's nest
in the gumdrop chimney.Copy !req
227. - (BIRD SQUAWKS)
Ew...Copy !req
228. Uh, yeah, I see your point,
okay. Er, here's a thought.Copy !req
229. You don't eat the outside.
Outside's gross.Copy !req
230. But what if you
eat the inside?Copy !req
231. Are these
gingerbread floorboards?Copy !req
232. Don't people step on them
with their dirty shoes?Copy !req
233. Way ahead of you.Copy !req
234. I always take off my shoes.Copy !req
235. Ew! You put your stinky
feet on them?Copy !req
236. Ugh, that's the worst.Copy !req
237. Are the toilets and pipes also
made out of candy?Copy !req
238. Well, yes.Copy !req
239. - Ew...
- Ew...Copy !req
240. That is overwhelmingly gross.Copy !req
241. Won't the pipes get
soggy and burst?Copy !req
242. Right, right. I hear
what you're saying.Copy !req
243. What about the backyard?Copy !req
244. Is this all brown
because it's chocolate,Copy !req
245. or because it's dirt?Copy !req
246. - Both.
Ew!Copy !req
247. And that's gross
as well, I see.Copy !req
248. Okay, noted.
This is great feedback.Copy !req
249. I'm gonna take this
all into accountCopy !req
250. and come up
with something that'll
address your concerns.Copy !req
251. I'll be in touch.Copy !req
252. Ciao!Copy !req
253. Freeze! You're under arrest!Copy !req
254. Why are you crying?Copy !req
255. Because I didn't
wanna get caught.Copy !req
256. That's no reason to cry.Copy !req
257. Yes, it is.Copy !req
258. I wanted to get
away with it!Copy !req
259. Hey, hey...Copy !req
260. Come... come on, man.Copy !req
261. Have some self-respect.Copy !req
262. No.Copy !req
263. It'll be okay.Copy !req
264. No, it's not.Copy !req
265. You're gonna arrest me!Copy !req
266. If you stop crying,Copy !req
267. we'll let you ride in
the front of the cop car.Copy !req
268. Would you drive me home?Copy !req
269. Or to jail?Copy !req
270. Well, jail, but...Copy !req
271. I don't think we can
arrest this guy.Copy !req
272. He committed a crime!Copy !req
273. Yeah, but look at him.Copy !req
274. I don't wanna go to jail!Copy !req
275. Ugh, fine, fine.Copy !req
276. Look, if you stop crying,
we'll let you go.Copy !req
277. No harm, no foul.Copy !req
278. Can I... Can I keep the jewel?Copy !req
279. No.Copy !req
280. I wanna keep the jewel!Copy !req
281. Okay, okay.
You can keep the jewel.Copy !req
282. Can we...Copy !req
283. Can we all go out
for milkshakes, too?Copy !req
284. Yes, anything.
Just please, please, stop.Copy !req
285. Okay.Copy !req
286. I'll buy.Copy !req
287. 'Cause I'm rich now.Copy !req
288. Excuse me,
it's my half-birthday.Copy !req
289. Do you sing
a song or something?Copy !req
290. Ugh... (SNAPS FINGERS)Copy !req
291. (GROANING)Copy !req
292. - Time out, ref.
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)Copy !req
293. - All right, team.
- Oh!Copy !req
294. - The running game
isn't working.
- Ugh.Copy !req
295. - So, if we wanna
win this thing...
- Ugh.Copy !req
296. we're gonna have to
go deep.Copy !req
297. Why aren't you listening?
This is important.Copy !req
298. (GROANS)
Your breath really
stinks, Coach.Copy !req
299. - Yeah.
- Sorry, I just had a sandwich.Copy !req
300. Now, what we'll need to do...Copy !req
301. Like a normal sandwich
there, Coach?Copy !req
302. - With regular stuff on?
- Yes.Copy !req
303. Uh, I think maybe
the eggs had gone bad
or something, Coach.Copy !req
304. There weren't any eggs on it.Copy !req
305. Now listen up.Copy !req
306. The other team's
been stuffing us all night.Copy !req
307. - But we can't...
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)Copy !req
308. Look, I'll have a mint, okay?Copy !req
309. - There.
- (ALL RETCHING)Copy !req
310. What now?Copy !req
311. Your breath is even worse.
Did your mints go bad?Copy !req
312. Yeah, Coach.Copy !req
313. Now it's just hot
winter green garbage.Copy !req
314. Look, do you wanna win
the championship?Copy !req
315. Or do you wanna
not smell my breath?Copy !req
316. Not smell your breath.Copy !req
317. I think you should go
to the hospital.Copy !req
318. (NASAL VOICE) Look, why don't
you use the radioCopy !req
319. in the quarterback's helmet?Copy !req
320. Tell her your speechCopy !req
321. and she'll tell us
what you're saying.Copy !req
322. Yeah, yeah.
But from over there, Coach.Copy !req
323. Fine.Copy !req
324. No, farther.Copy !req
325. - Keep going.
- (GROANS)Copy !req
326. Yeah, er, you're good.
You're good.Copy !req
327. Right, so their zone defense
is full of holes.Copy !req
328. Coach says,
"Their zone defense is..."Copy !req
329. Oh, my! It's coming through
the headset.Copy !req
330. And we're going all the way
to the end zone.Copy !req
331. I wanna see 110%.
- (EXCLAIMING)Copy !req
332. Let's get out there and win!Copy !req
333. Hansel,Copy !req
334. I fear we are still...Copy !req
335. Okay!Copy !req
336. You were right about
my last house.Copy !req
337. Not structurally sound,
good note.Copy !req
338. But I think
you'll be happy with whatCopy !req
339. I've cooked up since then.Copy !req
340. A totally normal house!Copy !req
341. Ooh!Copy !req
342. Exposed log walls
and lofted bedroomCopy !req
343. complete this
cottage's cozy feel.Copy !req
344. Paneled flooring gives it an
air of woodsy charm.Copy !req
345. Best of all...Copy !req
346. - (METAL CLANGS)
- Metal pipes.Copy !req
347. Und the toilet?Copy !req
348. Which way were we leaning
on that? Gingerbread...Copy !req
349. - Not gingerbread.
- Great, then it isn't.Copy !req
350. Wunderbar, we love it.Copy !req
351. Fantastic!Copy !req
352. Dig in.Copy !req
353. - What?
- This house...Copy !req
354. is for you to eat.Copy !req
355. Was... Was I not clear
on that?Copy !req
356. I built it so you can eat it.Copy !req
357. We're not going to
eat ein house!Copy !req
358. Why not?Copy !req
359. Why not?Copy !req
360. It's a house.Copy !req
361. It's inedible.Copy !req
362. That's what you said
about the last one.Copy !req
363. The first house was inedible
because it was gross.Copy !req
364. This house is inedible because
we can't eat wood and...Copy !req
365. Are you taking notes?Copy !req
366. Okay, I get it, I get it.Copy !req
367. Gingerbread house
was unfit to live inCopy !req
368. but that doesn't mean
a normal house is edible.Copy !req
369. I see what I did wrongCopy !req
370. and I really appreciate
you giving me feedback.Copy !req
371. I'll go digest these notes.Copy !req
372. Not literally. I get that now.Copy !req
373. And get back to you
as soon as I can.Copy !req
374. Talk soon!Copy !req
375. Whoa! I'm slipping!Copy !req
376. My big floppy shoes
can't get purchase!Copy !req
377. Quick! Grab this.Copy !req
378. Whoa, great!
(SCREAMS)Copy !req
379. Okay. (PANTING)Copy !req
380. The landing pad is
just up ahead.Copy !req
381. The alien doppelgangers won't
catch us if we run for it.Copy !req
382. Oh, no, it's my doppelganger.
Quick, throw the net on him.Copy !req
383. Quick, before he attacks us!Copy !req
384. How can I be sure
he's the doppelganger?Copy !req
385. He's just like you!Copy !req
386. Are you joking?
He's nothing like me.Copy !req
387. Ah, see!
I can't tell the difference.Copy !req
388. But that's ridiculous.
When does anything
I've ever saidCopy !req
389. sound like a high-pitched
alien screech?Copy !req
390. - Every time that song you hate
comes on the radio.
- (SCREECHES)Copy !req
391. - Or when your favorite team
lost the big game.
- (SCREECHES)Copy !req
392. - Or when you accidently ate
that really spicy pepper.
- (SCREECHES)Copy !req
393. Or when the alien ship
crash-landed in your yard.Copy !req
394. - (SCREECHES)
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
395. I think...Copy !req
396. You know,
everyone thinks they soundCopy !req
397. a little different
than they really do.Copy !req
398. - You know?
- No, I don't sound
anything like...Copy !req
399. that.Copy !req
400. I don't sound like
some alien freak.Copy !req
401. - (SCREECHES)
- Oh, no, it's another one.Copy !req
402. - (EXCLAIMS)
- See, even she can't tell.Copy !req
403. Okay, this time I've got it.Copy !req
404. Please, just leave us alone.Copy !req
405. Hold on, hear me out.Copy !req
406. The house made of
candy was gross.Copy !req
407. And the house made of house
was inedible, lesson learned.Copy !req
408. But then I got to thinking,
what if I made a houseCopy !req
409. that was half normal
and half candy?Copy !req
410. All the essential
parts are normal.Copy !req
411. Tar roof, wood floors,
porcelain toilet.Copy !req
412. But...Copy !req
413. It also offers customized
candy parts, ready to eat.Copy !req
414. The wall is solid plaster,
but the molding...Copy !req
415. (MUNCHES) Oh!Copy !req
416. Das ist chocolate.Copy !req
417. The fireplace is brick
and mortar but the mantle...Copy !req
418. (MUNCHES) Lightly roasted
marshmallow.Copy !req
419. The couch is realCopy !req
420. but the throw pillows
are cotton candy.Copy !req
421. The faucet is stainless steel
but the water is soda.Copy !req
422. Und the linens are marzipan.Copy !req
423. I cannot wait
to live in/eat this house.Copy !req
424. Ja, we'll take it.Copy !req
425. Fantastic.Copy !req
426. Enjoy your new house.Copy !req
427. Bye, bye.Copy !req
428. Well, it took a while,Copy !req
429. but I finally made
those kids the perfect house.Copy !req
430. Just like I wanted.Copy !req
431. Wait...Copy !req
432. Is that what
I was trying to do?Copy !req
433. Why did I do this?Copy !req
434. Oh, right!Copy !req
435. I wanted to eat those kids!Copy !req
436. Kids!Copy !req
437. I kind of lost track of why
I was doing this.Copy !req
438. And, well...Copy !req
439. Can you let me back in,
so I can eat you?Copy !req
440. No!
Why would we do that?Copy !req
441. Ha! Joke's on them,
the doorknob is caramel.Copy !req
442. No, it's not.
Got that wrong.Copy !req
443. That is overwhelmingly
gross.
(MUSIC PLAYING)Copy !req