1. The safe is empty,
but the windows and doors
are locked from the inside.Copy !req
2. I think this
is gonna be a tough
robbery to solve, Chief.Copy !req
3. Ah, I wish Frank
was still around.Copy !req
4. He was the best
crime scene investigator
the force ever had.Copy !req
5. There, there, Chief.
He's investigating angel
crime scenes in heaven now.Copy !req
6. Looks like we've got no choice
but to bring on a consultant.Copy !req
7. But don't worry, Detective.
She's one of the best.Copy !req
8. Great. Is she
a forensics investigator?
A criminal profiler?Copy !req
9. Way more
entertaining than that.Copy !req
10. She's an old lady
who writes mystery novels!Copy !req
11. What?Copy !req
12. Oh, it's just like a scene
from one of my stories,
and I know what happened.Copy !req
13. Chapter one!Copy !req
14. We see the luxurious apartment
of a wealthy financier.Copy !req
15. He keeps his money
in his safe, but also
his secrets. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
16. Uh, the victim is a plumber.Copy !req
17. Chapter two!Copy !req
18. The financier's dinner party
is filled with
intriguing characters.Copy !req
19. The young scholar
whose work he scorned,Copy !req
20. the archeologist
whose wife he pranked,Copy !req
21. the geologist
whose rock he touched,Copy !req
22. and the glamorous
elderly mystery writerCopy !req
23. who intrigued him
as no woman had before.Copy !req
24. Wait. Are you
talking about yourself?Copy !req
25. Chapter three!Copy !req
26. It was then that they realized
all the clocks had stopped
at precisely 1:15 a.m.Copy !req
27. That clock isn't broken.Copy !req
28. - (SHATTERING)
- Which means everyone
on the train was a suspect!Copy !req
29. - (DOG GASPS)
- There is no train.Copy !req
30. Are you just making this up
as you go along?Copy !req
31. Perhaps.
But wouldn't it be exciting
if I was right?Copy !req
32. Well, I'm hooked.Copy !req
33. Yeah, but is she right?Copy !req
34. You'll have to turn the page
to find out.Copy !req
35. - Tell us who did it.
- Whoa, spoilers!Copy !req
36. If I tell you,
where's the mystery?Copy !req
37. Solved. It would be solved!Copy !req
38. I think the answer
you're looking for
is in the secret passagewayCopy !req
39. behind this trick bookcase!Copy !req
40. Aw, she was
my favorite character.Copy !req
41. Get ready
for the most fearsome truck
in the land!Copy !req
42. I give you the Werewolf!Copy !req
43. - Okay.
- Hmm.Copy !req
44. Would the owner
of any car in the parking lot
please reportCopy !req
45. to the information desk?
Your car is now a werewolf!Copy !req
46. Ugh! I hate calls like this.
When I joined
the fire department,Copy !req
47. I didn't think I'd be
rescuing kittens all day.Copy !req
48. Well, we're not here
to rescue a kitten.
We're here to stop him.Copy !req
49. - Hey, now, you cut that out!
- (CAT SCREECHES)Copy !req
50. Come on, guys!
Hurry before it's too late!Copy !req
51. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, come on, please.Copy !req
52. No!Copy !req
53. You know
what I'm talking about!Copy !req
54. Come on!
Everybody at home,
sing along!Copy !req
55. Just follow the bouncing ball.Copy !req
56. One, two, three...Copy !req
57. We still don't have any leads
on this robbery, Chief.Copy !req
58. Boy, it's at times like this
I really miss Frank.Copy !req
59. Yes, Frank was a very talented
and photogenic
crime scene investigator,Copy !req
60. but we need help
with this case.
We need to bring on an expert.Copy !req
61. I've got someone better.Copy !req
62. - A former conman.
- Please, no.Copy !req
63. Who knows a criminal's mind
better than a criminal?Copy !req
64. He was a convicted conman
who we let out of jail
to help catch other conmen.Copy !req
65. Heya, you think this is,
uh, pure silver or what?
What do you think?Copy !req
66. Chief, can we please
hire an actual expert?Copy !req
67. - Bye.
- Uh, yeah, if you want the
investigation to be boring.Copy !req
68. So what kind of fresh take
you got on this robbery?Copy !req
69. It's obvious.
This whole crime was a ruse.Copy !req
70. - (GASPS)
- Oh, my...Copy !req
71. Stop it. Just stop...Copy !req
72. It was actually set up
as an elaborate planCopy !req
73. to steal wallets
from all the cops
at the crime scene.Copy !req
74. - No one stole my wallet.
- Oh, no?Copy !req
75. - Hey!
- Yah! (LAUGHS)Copy !req
76. Someone stop
that former conman!Copy !req
77. Or, I guess, current conman,
as he just stole
all our wallets.Copy !req
78. Bet you didn't
see that twist coming?Copy !req
79. I did. I definitely did.Copy !req
80. Ah! There we go.Copy !req
81. Well, that was
a waste of a Saturday.Copy !req
82. Simple peasants,
it is I, the Wizard,
and I have grand news.Copy !req
83. For years, our land has been
without a king, but no longer.Copy !req
84. The magical hand of destiny
has gifted us this sword.Copy !req
85. If any of you can pull
this sword from the stone,Copy !req
86. you will be king
of all the land.Copy !req
87. Maybe you don't understand.Copy !req
88. If you can pull out the sword,
you'll be king
of everything here.Copy !req
89. Will... Would I have
to be king of the mud pits?Copy !req
90. Well, yes, yes, the mud pits
are definitely
part of the kingdom.Copy !req
91. What about the stink swamp?Copy !req
92. Yes, the stink swamps would
now be your problem but...Copy !req
93. How about this field
that's like all snakes?Copy !req
94. - Sure, sure, I get it!
- You know that one?Copy !req
95. Our kingdom has its share
of problems and/or snakes,
but still, king!Copy !req
96. You're not thinking
this through. King.Copy !req
97. - I don't know.
- What do you think?Copy !req
98. - Uh...
- I don't...Copy !req
99. We're gonna pass.Copy !req
100. - Yeah, we're going to pass.
- No, thanks.Copy !req
101. Right, right, right.
I see what's happening here.Copy !req
102. You all think the sword is too
hard to pull out, don't you?Copy !req
103. - No.
- No.Copy !req
104. I assure you, though,
it's very easy. Watch.Copy !req
105. Ha-ha! See? See?Copy !req
106. So who wants to try first?Copy !req
107. - Aren't you king now?
- Right, aren't you king?Copy !req
108. No, no, I'm not the king.
I'm already the wizard.Copy !req
109. But you are
based on what you said.Copy !req
110. No.
- Yeah, you pulled it
and you look like the king.Copy !req
111. I was just making an example.
I don't count.Copy !req
112. Good luck on stinking
the stink swamp, Your Majesty.Copy !req
113. Everyone, look, look.
Forget the whole stone part.Copy !req
114. Whoever's holding the sword
when I'm done counting to four
is king, all right?Copy !req
115. You ready? Here we go.Copy !req
116. - One.
- Ooh!Copy !req
117. - Two.
- No, no.Copy !req
118. - Three.
- I don't know numbers.Copy !req
119. Four. This still doesn't
count. I'm not the king.Copy !req
120. Whoa, wait a minute.
My shoes are tight.Copy !req
121. Hey, would you
hold this real quick?Copy !req
122. Of course I would.Copy !req
123. A-ha! Got you!Copy !req
124. You've got the sword.
You're now the king.Copy !req
125. All hail the king.Copy !req
126. - Oh, no.
- It's all right.Copy !req
127. Uh, as King, I order
the Wizard to deal
with the mud pits,Copy !req
128. stink swamp, and snake field.Copy !req
129. (LAUGHS) Smart move.
As you wish, Your Highness.Copy !req
130. Which one was the snake field?Copy !req
131. - (SNAKES HISSING)
- It's this one!Copy !req
132. Okay, I just got
off the phone. Great news.Copy !req
133. We got a new consultant
that I think you're really
gonna go nuts for.Copy !req
134. Please tell me you hired
a real police expert.Copy !req
135. Nope. She's a psychic
who talks to ghosts.Copy !req
136. It's a gift and a curse.Copy !req
137. God! No! No.
We don't need a psychic
or plucky orphans,Copy !req
138. or some kind of
crime-solving computer!Copy !req
139. We need an actual crime scene
investigator, Chief!Copy !req
140. Yeah, I know.
The psychic is gonna
get in touch with Frank.Copy !req
141. Oh.Copy !req
142. - Hey, Frank, what've you got?
- The neighbor did it.Copy !req
143. Case closed!Copy !req
144. Wow! That was fast.
You really were the best
crime scene investigator.Copy !req
145. I didn't get that
from the crime scene.Copy !req
146. I saw the robbery happen
when I was watching people
from the afterlife.Copy !req
147. It's boring being a ghost.Copy !req
148. Ooh! You're telling me!Copy !req
149. Carol, stop cleaning.Copy !req
150. Rhonda's gonna be here
any minute.Copy !req
151. Look, I just want the house
to look niceCopy !req
152. for when we meet
her new college boyfriend.Copy !req
153. Oh, that's them!Copy !req
154. Rhonda!Copy !req
155. Honey, we're so happy
you're home.Copy !req
156. So where are you hiding
this new fellow, huh?
Is he there?Copy !req
157. Ah, or is he over there?Copy !req
158. - Is he over here?
- Oh, I think he's right here.Copy !req
159. Maybe he's right over there.Copy !req
160. Mom, Dad,
I want you to meet Mark.Copy !req
161. Mark, this is my mother.Copy !req
162. You have a lovely home
Mrs. BulkbodyCopy !req
163. - (BONES CRUSHING)
- Ow, that really hurts.Copy !req
164. And this is my dad.Copy !req
165. It's an honor
to meet you, sir.Copy !req
166. - (BONES CRUSHING)
- Ow, that hurts even worse.Copy !req
167. I don't know how to talk
to this guy.Copy !req
168. He's so scrawny.
It's freaking me out.Copy !req
169. Just say something.Copy !req
170. Mark, could you
pass the potatoes?Copy !req
171. Sure. (GRUNTS)Copy !req
172. - (GRUNTING)
- Do you need any help?Copy !req
173. No, I got this.Copy !req
174. So, Mark,
uh, how much do you bench?Copy !req
175. Mom, that's private.Copy !req
176. Rhonda, it's fine.Copy !req
177. Carol, between you and me,
the only bench I use
is the one I sit onCopy !req
178. to catch my breath
any time I walk
more than a few blocks.Copy !req
179. - (BOTH LAUGHING)
- Yeah.Copy !req
180. Well, you know what they say,
"No pain, no gain."Copy !req
181. And as I'm sure you can tell,
I like to gain
as little as possible.Copy !req
182. - I could tell. I could.
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
183. Okay, enough beating
around the bush.
How did you two meet?Copy !req
184. Well, we were
in the cafeteria,
and I was carbo-loading,Copy !req
185. and I couldn't see over
my giant tray of spaghetti.Copy !req
186. And I had my nose
buried in a book.
We ran right into each other.Copy !req
187. I just felt terrible,
so I waited with him
for the ambulance.Copy !req
188. And even though
he was barely conscious,Copy !req
189. he kept doing
this hilarious thingCopy !req
190. where he would take
one of the noodles and say,Copy !req
191. "Make sure the doctors
re-attach my arm."Copy !req
192. 'Cause, you know...Copy !req
193. I just laughed and laughed,
and I haven't stopped
laughing since.Copy !req
194. - (BONES CRUSHING)
- Ow, that hurt bad, too.Copy !req
195. The score's tied, two outs.
Here's the pitch.Copy !req
196. Strike three!
You're out of here!Copy !req
197. Oh! Strike three,
and the manager
does not like that call.Copy !req
198. He is really
letting him have it.Copy !req
199. The manager's
kicking some dirt at him,Copy !req
200. and the ump's
kicking it right back.Copy !req
201. Wow, he's really getting
in his face now.Copy !req
202. The manager is getting
his money's worth.Copy !req
203. Oh, and the umpire has tossed
the manager from the game.Copy !req
204. And there he goes.Copy !req
205. There they go. Huh.Copy !req
206. I guess there's no umpire,
so that means
it's time for crazy baseball!Copy !req
207. Whoo-hoo!
Faster! Let's see
what this car can do.Copy !req
208. You ain't seen anything yet.
It's actually a convertible.
Check it. The roof retracts.Copy !req
209. Ooh! That is how
convertibles work.Copy !req
210. Yeah, normal convertibles,
but this is
a double convertible.Copy !req
211. The floor retracts, too.Copy !req
212. Whoo!Copy !req
213. "Don't say anything.
This is a robbery.Copy !req
214. "Give me all the money
in the safe."Copy !req
215. "I don't work here.
I'm just in line
in front of you."Copy !req
216. Next!Copy !req
217. "Pass this on."Copy !req
218. Are you sure you don't want
anything more than water?Copy !req
219. Um, a sports drink
or a protein shake maybe?Copy !req
220. The water is fine,
Mrs. Bulkbody.Copy !req
221. What brings you up here
all the way from school?Copy !req
222. Mr. and Mrs. Bulkbody,
I love your daughter more
than anything and, well...Copy !req
223. So, um, I came here
to ask you both...Copy !req
224. What is it, Mark?Copy !req
225. - Oh, um, yeah...
- Come on, Mark. You got this.Copy !req
226. - You got this one, Mark!
Come on, buddy. Push it, yeah.
- Do it! Push through the pain!Copy !req
227. - So, I'm...
- Come on now.Copy !req
228. - Push!
- Get at it!Copy !req
229. Come on, Mark. You got this.
Get some. Get some, Mark.Copy !req
230. Ask you both
for your permission
to marry Rhonda.Copy !req
231. Mark, you're a good kid,
but your muscles
are so poorly definedCopy !req
232. they're not even
in the dictionary.Copy !req
233. But we know Rhonda
truly loves you,Copy !req
234. so you can have our daughter's
hand in marriage
under one condition.Copy !req
235. What is it? I'll do anything.Copy !req
236. You beat me at arm wrestling!Copy !req
237. (LAUGHS) Arm wrestling
for a marriage blessing
is a Bulkbody tradition.Copy !req
238. Well, I had to arm-wrestle
Grandpa Bulkbody for
Bruce's hand in marriage,Copy !req
239. just as he had to wrestle
Great-grandmamma
Bulkbody before that.Copy !req
240. Okay. I got this.Copy !req
241. I know you're twice my size,
Mr. Bulkbody,Copy !req
242. but when I think of the love
I have for your daughter,
I feel 100 times stronger.Copy !req
243. Ready, set, wrestle!Copy !req
244. Look, Mark,
on, uh, second thought...Copy !req
245. No! I know I can prove
I'm worthy to marry Rhonda.Copy !req
246. Ooh! Whoa, Mark.Copy !req
247. Whoa, I think you're beating
me there, buddy. Just...Copy !req
248. Just one more strong push,
and I'm done for.Copy !req
249. You won, Mark!Copy !req
250. You did it!
You beat me at arm wrestling.Copy !req
251. I did?Copy !req
252. You did, Mark.Copy !req
253. You have our permission
to marry our daughter.Copy !req
254. I can't believe it.Copy !req
255. Yeah, well, don't look
too closely into it, son.
Welcome to the fam...Copy !req
256. Okay, tell me
which image is cooler.Copy !req
257. Is it cooler now?Copy !req
258. Or cooler now?Copy !req
259. Hmm. The triangle.Copy !req
260. All right. Cooler now?Copy !req
261. Or cooler now?Copy !req
262. Oh. The speedboat's nice,Copy !req
263. but the trash barge
can hold more trash.
That's pretty cool.Copy !req
264. Okay. One more.
Look very closely.Copy !req
265. Cooler now? Video games.Copy !req
266. Or cooler now? A boot.Copy !req
267. One old boot.
It looks wet, probably smells.Copy !req
268. Wow!
That's a really tough choice.Copy !req
269. Well, it shouldn't be.Copy !req
270. My diagnosis is that
you're medically uncool.Copy !req
271. I'm going to have
to prescribe you sunglasses.Copy !req
272. Super cool.Copy !req
273. Ladies and gentlemen,
esteemed members of Congress,Copy !req
274. I highly recommend
the bald eagle
for our national bird.Copy !req
275. Mighty wings, a steadfast gaze
that looks to the future,Copy !req
276. just like our new
American country.Copy !req
277. Hang on.
What about that other one?Copy !req
278. Oh, the liberty eagle?
Nah, you don't want that one.Copy !req
279. Uh, are you sure?
I mean it looks
really American.Copy !req
280. Yeah, here's the thing about
the liberty eagle.
It's completely delicious.Copy !req
281. - Get it!
- Yeah, get it!Copy !req
282. - Come on!
- Watch it! Ow!Copy !req
283. - Who are you guys?
- Same as you.Copy !req
284. Dopes who fell down the pit.Copy !req
285. - It's a big pit.
- I tried to make it.Copy !req
286. Oh, man, now I wish
I'd gotten that gem.Copy !req
287. Why? Then you'd have
a gem in a pit.
Gems are for losers.Copy !req
288. - Ha! You tell him, top guy.
- Thanks, bottom guy.Copy !req
289. Actually, I'm middle guy.Copy !req
290. - Whatever.
- (EIGHT-BIT MUSIC PLAYING)Copy !req
291. Aw, here we go again.Copy !req
292. Don't land on us.
You
need a running start!Copy !req
293. - Ow, why?
- Oh, man!Copy !req
294. You didn't even jump.Copy !req
295. What's he doing?Copy !req
296. - Cool!
- Amazing!Copy !req
297. - Did you see that?
- That's what the gem does?Copy !req
298. Don't you see?
That's the way
to get over the pit.Copy !req
299. No, no, no.Copy !req
300. Ow!Copy !req
301. - (ALL CHEERING)
- Excuse me, everyone.Copy !req
302. If we could all
just take a moment
to raise our protein shakes,Copy !req
303. we'd like to make a toast
to the newlyweds.Copy !req
304. When Carol and I
first met Mark,Copy !req
305. we said this kid is a shrimp,
a total wuss.Copy !req
306. I mean, how could a guy
like him be good enough
for our daughter?Copy !req
307. Ah!Copy !req
308. But then we got to know him,
and we realized we forgot
something important.Copy !req
309. The heart is the hardest
working muscle in the body,Copy !req
310. and Mark's is totally jacked.Copy !req
311. Now we know these two
have had their ups and downs,Copy !req
312. and I'm not just talking
about the dead lifts.Copy !req
313. (CHUCKLING)
You know what I'm saying?Copy !req
314. Sometimes, it seems like Mark
is a standard weight,Copy !req
315. trying to fit on Rhonda's
competition weight bar.Copy !req
316. Aw.Copy !req
317. But their love
is held togetherCopy !req
318. with the strongest
weight clip of all.
Trust.Copy !req
319. To Rhonda and Mark.Copy !req
320. Ah!Copy !req
321. - (GLASS SHATTERING)
- We're so proud to have youCopy !req
322. as a new member
of our family there, Mark.Copy !req
323. Well, that's one membership
I plan on using forever.Copy !req
324. Unlike that gym membership
you got me.Copy !req
325. (STRAINING) I got this.Copy !req
326. I got this.Copy !req