1. Give it up for R&B legendsCopy !req
2. - AJ and Alisha.Copy !req
3. Here we go.Copy !req
4. Boy, I knew I loved you
since the moment we met.Copy !req
5. Girl, I'll always remember
the first time I saw you,Copy !req
6. lookin' oh, so good,Copy !req
7. comin' out of
that movie theater.Copy !req
8. Boy, that wasn't what I was
doing the first time we met.Copy !req
9. That's right, girl.Copy !req
10. You were going into
the movie theater.Copy !req
11. Boy, try again.Copy !req
12. Girl, I'm just...
I'm just playing with you.Copy !req
13. - I was going into the movie...
- No movie theater, boy.Copy !req
14. Okay, you didn't... You
didn't let me finish, girl.Copy !req
15. I was going into
the moving car.Copy !req
16. Yeah, I was driving
a moving car.Copy !req
17. And I saw you, looking so good
walking on down the street.Copy !req
18. That's not how we met, boy!Copy !req
19. Look, girl, I can't remember
all the details becauseCopy !req
20. I was so entranced
by your blue eyes.Copy !req
21. - No.
- No?Copy !req
22. - Green eyes?
- No.Copy !req
23. Those... Eyes,Copy !req
24. that I love so
much that I can't even
find a color to describe them.Copy !req
25. They're brown.Copy !req
26. You were in the car,
I was on the street.Copy !req
27. Both on the street?
Both in cars?Copy !req
28. Both in the same car?Copy !req
29. You were a taxi driver
and I was the passenger?Copy !req
30. I was a taxi driver
and you were a passenger?Copy !req
31. We were both passengers
and no-one was driving?Copy !req
32. The enemy's approaching, men.Copy !req
33. Prepare to fire on my signal!Copy !req
34. Wait for it.Copy !req
35. Wait for it.Copy !req
36. Wait for it!Copy !req
37. Wait for it.Copy !req
38. Wait for it.Copy !req
39. Wait for it.Copy !req
40. Wait for it.Copy !req
41. Now!Copy !req
42. Dad, can we build
a tree house?Copy !req
43. Sure, that's easy.Copy !req
44. All right, I cut the wood.Copy !req
45. Now we just need to find
a big old tree to build it in.Copy !req
46. Oh, the...
Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
47. The tree.Copy !req
48. I think I lost it.Copy !req
49. It worked!
I passed on the curse.Copy !req
50. I'm not a werewolf anymore.Copy !req
51. Oh, happy day! Oh...Copy !req
52. Ah! Hey, you can't do that!Copy !req
53. No bite backs.Copy !req
54. You never said that.Copy !req
55. I didn't think I had to.Copy !req
56. How was I supposed to know?Copy !req
57. I'm not a mind reader,
I'm a werewolf.Copy !req
58. But not for long.Copy !req
59. Time out! Time out!Copy !req
60. If we keep doing this back
and forth it'll never stop.Copy !req
61. It'll just go
on for the rest of our...Copy !req
62. Okay, okay, time out!Copy !req
63. All right, I see what
you're saying.Copy !req
64. Here's what we do.Copy !req
65. Ow!Copy !req
66. You're not even
a werewolf right now!
That just hurts!Copy !req
67. Oh, right.Copy !req
68. I got confused about
who was what. Sorry.Copy !req
69. Okay. You were saying?Copy !req
70. You know,
now I can't even remember.Copy !req
71. Give it up
for R&B legendsCopy !req
72. - AJ and Alisha.Copy !req
73. Girl, I love everything
I know about you.Copy !req
74. But I realize now
that I didn't know enough.Copy !req
75. Boy, you're tellin' me!Copy !req
76. So that's why I did
some researchCopy !req
77. to find more things to love.Copy !req
78. I love that your driver's
license lists youCopy !req
79. as five four,
140 pounds.Copy !req
80. I love that you're
allergic to shellfish.Copy !req
81. I love that you donated
$35 to charity last year.Copy !req
82. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
83. I love that you're
CPR certified.Copy !req
84. I love that your electric bill
is lower this year
than it was last year.Copy !req
85. I love that you're two stamps
away from a free
sandwich at the deli.Copy !req
86. I could also use it
to get a wrap.Copy !req
87. I love that your best friend
described you as,
"Warm and caring",Copy !req
88. and your college roommate
said, "You're smart
and hard working."Copy !req
89. Aw! You've got to my friends!Copy !req
90. I couldn't find any
high school friends though.Copy !req
91. Your records just kinda
stopped five years ago.Copy !req
92. Okay, that's enough about me.Copy !req
93. Let's get back to this song.Copy !req
94. But that's when I dug up this
FBI wanted poster
that said your birth nameCopy !req
95. was actually Katya Fleming.Copy !req
96. Stop talking,
please, stop talking.Copy !req
97. Girl, I love that you're
an internationally
wanted art thiefCopy !req
98. living under an
assumed identity.Copy !req
99. And there it is.Copy !req
100. It's a pleasure to welcome
you on board as our new
breath mint tester.Copy !req
101. Oh, the pleasure is all mine.Copy !req
102. I can't to sample
those delicious
breath mints all day.Copy !req
103. I love me some mints.Copy !req
104. Oh no, you don't
eat any mints.Copy !req
105. You're the breath mint tester.Copy !req
106. He gets to eat all the mints.Copy !req
107. He's our breath mint taster.Copy !req
108. But then, what does
the tester do?Copy !req
109. Did the mints
improve his breath?Copy !req
110. No.Copy !req
111. May never do.Copy !req
112. Ugh.Copy !req
113. Welcome back, class.Copy !req
114. I hope you all had fun
on your summer vacations.Copy !req
115. Of course, some of us
didn't get a vacation,Copy !req
116. because I had to stay here
and teach summer school.Copy !req
117. Now let's have show and tellCopy !req
118. so you can all talk about how
much fun you had on
your little trips,Copy !req
119. you lucky kids.Copy !req
120. Here's a giant pearl I found
while deep sea diving
off my family's yacht.Copy !req
121. We like to spend
the summer in the
islands, you see.Copy !req
122. All right,
this is show and tell,Copy !req
123. not show off and tell.Copy !req
124. Some of us don't have
big, fancy yachtsCopy !req
125. and are allergic to shellfish.Copy !req
126. Why don't you just sit down?Copy !req
127. You probably did
something normal.Copy !req
128. Get up here
and tell us about it.Copy !req
129. My summer was super exciting.
I spent it at scout camp.Copy !req
130. We went white water rafting,
and hang gliding,Copy !req
131. and I got this
badge for climbing
the tallest mountain.Copy !req
132. Okay, all right,
that's enough.Copy !req
133. Some of us
aren't thrill junkies.Copy !req
134. Some of us
are scared of heightsCopy !req
135. because of the time
I fell down a ravine.Copy !req
136. Get out of here!Copy !req
137. Ah, this show and tell is
a real bust so far, huh?Copy !req
138. We just need a normal kid,Copy !req
139. a normal, boring kidCopy !req
140. who never does
anything special.Copy !req
141. You, in the back.Copy !req
142. Get up here!Copy !req
143. It's true.
My family's not rich,Copy !req
144. and I'm not adventurous.Copy !req
145. Yes, I like where
this is going.Copy !req
146. But my family
loves each other,Copy !req
147. so for show and tell,Copy !req
148. I brought this photo
of us spending
quality time together.Copy !req
149. And that's why it was
the best summer ever.Copy !req
150. You are the worst one of all!Copy !req
151. Everyone is dismissed
for summer.Copy !req
152. But we just got back
from summer.Copy !req
153. Then you're dismissed
for summer again.Copy !req
154. Summer number two.Copy !req
155. Give it up
for R&B legendsCopy !req
156. - AJ and Prisoner 434.Copy !req
157. Girl, I know
I messed up real bad.Copy !req
158. First, I knew
too little about you.Copy !req
159. Then, I knew and said
way, way too much.Copy !req
160. But now I know just
the right amount.Copy !req
161. It's three simple words.Copy !req
162. I love you.Copy !req
163. Aw!Copy !req
164. I love you too.Copy !req
165. And we love you too, Denver.Copy !req
166. I mean,
we love you too, Detroit.Copy !req
167. No? Memphis.Copy !req
168. This is definitely
Memphis, right?Copy !req
169. - Seattle?
- Is this London?Copy !req
170. Paris? United Arab Emirates?Copy !req
171. How about Madrid?Copy !req
172. Are we in Haldensleben?Copy !req
173. Are we in
the northern hemisphere?Copy !req
174. - Not even that?
- No.Copy !req
175. That's amazing.Copy !req
176. That's the... It's
the most general guess we
can make and that's wrong.Copy !req
177. Man. What a day!Copy !req
178. I've never been so happy
to see the city gates.Copy !req
179. You said it!
I'm ready for
a bath and a nap.Copy !req
180. Who goes there?Copy !req
181. Oh, great!Copy !req
182. I am the mighty Sphinx.Copy !req
183. No one may enter the gates
of this city without my leave.Copy !req
184. All right, look,
we've come a long way.Copy !req
185. Silence!Copy !req
186. I will pose
to you a riddle.Copy !req
187. Answer incorrectly
and I will devour each
and every one of you.Copy !req
188. Answer correctly,
and I will devour myself,Copy !req
189. and you may pass unharmed.Copy !req
190. Deal.
What's the riddle?Copy !req
191. The riddle is this.Copy !req
192. What creature has one voice,Copy !req
193. and yet becomes four footed,Copy !req
194. then two footed,
then three footed.Copy !req
195. Four, two, three.Copy !req
196. Four, two, three,
the answer is Greg.Copy !req
197. - Yeah, it's me!
- Fools!Copy !req
198. The answer is man!Copy !req
199. For it is man that crawls
on all fours as a baby.Copy !req
200. Walks on two feet
through life,Copy !req
201. and then walks with two feet
and a cane in his old age.Copy !req
202. The answer is man!Copy !req
203. Greg's a man.Copy !req
204. - Yeah.
- But... No... I mean...Copy !req
205. Yes, but... No...
Okay!Copy !req
206. - But...
- But what?Copy !req
207. Greg's a man.
We got it right.Copy !req
208. You gotta eat yourself.Copy !req
209. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
210. No, no.
I meant man, like,Copy !req
211. in the larger sense,
like mankind.Copy !req
212. You can't change your answer.Copy !req
213. You gotta eat yourself.
A deal's a deal!Copy !req
214. Yeah, eat yourself, Sphinx!Copy !req
215. I am not going to eat myself.Copy !req
216. You got it wrong!Copy !req
217. Just... Fine!Copy !req
218. You can enter the city,
but I'm not
going to eat myself.Copy !req
219. - What a rip-off.
- Yeah.Copy !req
220. What has four feet,
rips people off?Copy !req
221. The Sphinx!Copy !req
222. Class.
We have a new
student with us today.Copy !req
223. So, I'd like to start our
lesson by reviewing some of
the self-defense basics.Copy !req
224. Now, you should know right
off the bat that some of my
self-defense techniquesCopy !req
225. are considered extreme.Copy !req
226. - Extreme?
- It's not as bad as it sounds.Copy !req
227. Let me demonstrate.
If an attacker
comes at you head on...Copy !req
228. Make like you're
about to attack me.Copy !req
229. First, grab their wrist
with your dominant hand.Copy !req
230. Then, their elbow
with your other hand.Copy !req
231. Then drop
quickly to your kneesCopy !req
232. and beg him not to hurt you.Copy !req
233. Don't hurt me! Please!Copy !req
234. Oh! Oh, no!Copy !req
235. Please!
I have so much to live for!Copy !req
236. - Always remember.Copy !req
237. Firmly establishing that you
are not a threat
neutralizes the attacker.Copy !req
238. That can't work
in the real world!Copy !req
239. It does.
Here, I'll show you
another technique.Copy !req
240. Put me in a headlock.Copy !req
241. If an attacker gets
you in a headlock,
just take your free hand,Copy !req
242. and reach it way
back like this.Copy !req
243. Remove your phone
from your pocketCopy !req
244. and show him
pictures of your family.Copy !req
245. Do not shy away from bringing
your kids into this.Copy !req
246. It's hard to assault someone
when you're staring
at the innocent facesCopy !req
247. of mini versions of them.Copy !req
248. Shouldn't you be teaching us
how to throw around someone
who's twice our size?Copy !req
249. I do teach that!Copy !req
250. It's a technique where you
grab someone by the armsCopy !req
251. hold them behind their back
so they can't move,Copy !req
252. and then toss them
at your attacker.Copy !req
253. Toss them at the attacker?Copy !req
254. Who are you tossing?Copy !req
255. That could be anyone.
A wife, a friend, a co-worker,Copy !req
256. whoever's next to you
when you get attacked.Copy !req
257. It's called diversion.Copy !req
258. And, of course,
the mother of all
self-defense techniques...Copy !req
259. Crying.Copy !req
260. Yeah, I didn't sign up
to learn how to cry.Copy !req
261. There's no way any of this
would work in real life.Copy !req
262. I'm outta here.Copy !req
263. Are you guys done
with the room?Copy !req
264. It's 4:15 and you were
supposed to be done by 4:00.Copy !req
265. Okay, fine.Copy !req
266. I don't think we'll be
seeing him again.Copy !req
267. I can still see him
through the window.Copy !req
268. Shut off the lights!Copy !req
269. We would like
to take this momentCopy !req
270. to ask for absolute quiet
during the coin toss.Copy !req
271. - All right blue, call it.
- Tails!Copy !req
272. Oh, what an upset!Copy !req
273. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
274. yellow team is our new
national coin toss champion.Copy !req
275. Kids, he's here!Copy !req
276. The garbage man is here!Copy !req
277. Huh.Copy !req
278. Whoa!Copy !req
279. Goodbye, garbage man!Copy !req
280. Thank you!Copy !req
281. Boy, that sure
was great, huh, kids?Copy !req
282. - Where'd all these
birds come from?Copy !req
283. Ah! Nothing beats
a lazy afternoon fishing...Copy !req
284. I have another riddle for you!Copy !req
285. Hey, Sphinx.Copy !req
286. I... Hi!Copy !req
287. I have a riddle.Copy !req
288. We already answered
your riddle.Copy !req
289. And you already
didn't eat yourself.Copy !req
290. Yeah, get outta here, Sphinx!Copy !req
291. - That one didn't count!
- Ah, whatever.Copy !req
292. Silence!Copy !req
293. Answer this riddle correctly
and I will devour myself.Copy !req
294. Answer incorrectly
and I will devour each
and every one of you.Copy !req
295. What a joke!Copy !req
296. Listen!Copy !req
297. As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives.Copy !req
298. The seven wives
had seven sacks,Copy !req
299. the seven sacks
had seven cats.Copy !req
300. The seven cats had seven kits.Copy !req
301. How many were
going to St. Ives?Copy !req
302. Okay, so, seven times seven,Copy !req
303. times seven times seven...Copy !req
304. No, see, now you don't
count the seven sacks.Copy !req
305. Sacks aren't alive.Copy !req
306. Okay. Shh!
I'm in the middle of this.Copy !req
307. Seven times
seven times seven...Copy !req
308. No, seven divided by seven,Copy !req
309. because they're divided
into sacks, remember?Copy !req
310. Ugh! I used to be
so good at this!Copy !req
311. Okay.Copy !req
312. Seven times seven times...Copy !req
313. Okay, sorry.
Who are the wives?
Was it the cats...Copy !req
314. No, seven wives divided
by seven sacks is one.Copy !req
315. Are you sure about this?Copy !req
316. I'm positive. 100%.Copy !req
317. The answer is one.Copy !req
318. Fools!Copy !req
319. The riddle only said
I was going to St. Ives.Copy !req
320. The cats and wives
are irrelevant.Copy !req
321. The answer is one!Copy !req
322. Yeah, that's what we said.Copy !req
323. - Yeah.
- Yes, but...Copy !req
324. But you got it all wrong.Copy !req
325. No, we didn't.
We got it right.Copy !req
326. But your math,
you were doing math,
there's no math.Copy !req
327. That's the whole
point of the riddle.Copy !req
328. The answer is one
and we said one.Copy !req
329. You didn't say we
had to show our work.Copy !req
330. Yeah, you gotta eat
yourself, Sphinx.Copy !req
331. Yeah, Sphinx!Copy !req
332. I'm not going to eat myself.Copy !req
333. Lame.
What's in St. Ives, anyway?Copy !req
334. I don't know.
Catwives?Copy !req
335. It sounds terrible.Copy !req
336. And this year'sCopy !req
337. Miss Stage Fright USA is...Copy !req
338. Uh...Copy !req
339. Mmm...Copy !req
340. Oh, no... Oh, no...Copy !req
341. Miss Nebraska!Copy !req
342. Dispatch, we've got
Jimmy the Chin and
his goons in sight.Copy !req
343. Should we bust him?Copy !req
344. Negative.
Wait for backup.Copy !req
345. Ah, but they're
bringing loot into
his warehouse as we speak.Copy !req
346. You have
your orders.Copy !req
347. Do not engage.Copy !req
348. I can't believe we
have to sit tight.Copy !req
349. Look at all that
stolen property,
stereo equipment,Copy !req
350. couple of real expensive
paintings,
a trunk full of jewelry,Copy !req
351. a whole bunch of... Balloons?Copy !req
352. What's that?
Is that a cake?Copy !req
353. That looks like chocolate.Copy !req
354. Hey,
check out that sandwich.Copy !req
355. That's no ordinary sandwich.Copy !req
356. That's a party sub.Copy !req
357. There's no reason
to buy a party subCopy !req
358. unless you're having...
A party!Copy !req
359. Dispatch, the situation
has changed.
We need to go in immediately.Copy !req
360. Negative.
You are to
enter that warehouseCopy !req
361. under no circumstances.Copy !req
362. But we really want to!Copy !req
363. Maintain
your position.Copy !req
364. Oh, that's definitely
a party there!Copy !req
365. - They've even got a DJ!
What's in that box?Copy !req
366. Oh, man!
They've got sweet jam!Copy !req
367. You just know it's gonna be
going on till
the break of dawn!Copy !req
368. Bouncy castle!Copy !req
369. Pony rides!Copy !req
370. Fireworks!Copy !req
371. BMX bikes!Copy !req
372. A make-your-own-
sand-art station!Copy !req
373. Dispatch, we have
an active party in progress.Copy !req
374. It is much
cooler than anticipated.Copy !req
375. - Much cooler!
- We are going in!Copy !req
376. Repeat.
We are going in!Copy !req
377. Go, go, go!Copy !req
378. Do not enter the building.
Do you hear me?Copy !req
379. Oh, we hear you,
Dispatch.Copy !req
380. And see you.Copy !req
381. It's not what it looks like.Copy !req
382. Coming up next...
DJ Dispatch!Copy !req
383. One sec.Copy !req
384. Calling all cars.
I repeat,Copy !req
385. calling all cars
to the dance floor!Copy !req
386. Four hang down,Copy !req
387. four on the ground,
two...Copy !req
388. Hey, Sphinx.Copy !req
389. Four hang down,Copy !req
390. four on the ground,
who...Copy !req
391. What are you even saying?Copy !req
392. It's a riddle.
We...Copy !req
393. We're doing a riddle.Copy !req
394. I eat you. I eat myself.
It's a riddle.Copy !req
395. Just get out of here, Sphinx!Copy !req
396. Quiet!Copy !req
397. Four hang down,
four on the ground,Copy !req
398. two point the way,
two fight off dogs,Copy !req
399. one drags behind,
often dirty.Copy !req
400. What am I?Copy !req
401. A Sphinx.Copy !req
402. - No.
- Yes, you are.
You're a Sphinx.Copy !req
403. Literally the first thing
you said to us was,Copy !req
404. "What's up? I am a Sphinx."Copy !req
405. It was part of the riddle.Copy !req
406. The question
was part of the riddle.Copy !req
407. All you said was
a bunch of gibberishCopy !req
408. and you're like, "What am I?"Copy !req
409. You're a Sphinx.Copy !req
410. Case closed.
Game over.Copy !req
411. Game over, Sphinx.Copy !req
412. Yeah, hope you
like the taste of... You.Copy !req
413. Time to put your money
where your mouth is,Copy !req
414. and put your mouth
where yourself is.Copy !req
415. Yeah, looks like you bit off
more "you" than you can chew.Copy !req
416. You gotta chew yourself.Copy !req
417. - Yeah, Sphinx.
- You know what?Copy !req
418. I'm out of here!Copy !req
419. Ugh, finally!Copy !req
420. Such a drama queen.Copy !req
421. A cow.Copy !req
422. Four hang, two fight off dogs,
one drags...Copy !req
423. Udders, horns, a tail.
It's a cow.Copy !req
424. - Huh.
- Yeah, that works too.Copy !req
425. AJ: ♪ I said, of course
of courseCopy !req
426. ♪ Like a ClydesdaleCopy !req
427. AJ: ♪ Indeed, indeedCopy !req