1. At last my life's work
is complete.Copy !req
2. Behold my pyramid!Copy !req
3. Oh, it is wonderful, pharaoh.Copy !req
4. All who look up on it
shall marvel and say...Copy !req
5. (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING
ON BOOM BOX)
Oh, oh. Nice pyramid, brah.Copy !req
6. You got a shiny pharaoh
to go with it? (LAUGHS)Copy !req
7. Nobleman Ramses.Copy !req
8. What are you doing
at my pyramid unveiling?Copy !req
9. Nah, nah, nah, man.
Nah, nothing.Copy !req
10. We're here
to support you, you know?Copy !req
11. And... Psych!
We built one too.Copy !req
12. Boom!Copy !req
13. Ya been pyramid served.Copy !req
14. Ramses, I told you I was
building my pyramid here.Copy !req
15. Really, dude?
Where is it?Copy !req
16. Boom! Sick pyramid burn, brah!Copy !req
17. Just ignore them, pharaoh.
You were saying...Copy !req
18. Yes, yes, as I was saying,Copy !req
19. my work on this pyramid...Copy !req
20. How many secret passages
you got?
Mine's got six.Copy !req
21. For confusing looters.
Ah, boom!Copy !req
22. We got mummy cats, yo!Copy !req
23. Sick mummy cats.Copy !req
24. We got cursers.Copy !req
25. Mad curses!Copy !req
26. We got 20, count 'em,
20 treasure rooms.Copy !req
27. Boom! I'm counting, brah.Copy !req
28. One, two, three, four...
On second thought...Copy !req
29. five, six, seven.
mine's not finished.Copy !req
30. Work is not done
on my pyramid.Copy !req
31. But you said...Copy !req
32. It has only just begun,Copy !req
33. and when it's through,
it'll be the best pyramid
the world has ever seen.Copy !req
34. Oh! Sorry, dude.
Can't hear you over the sound
of my hype man.Copy !req
35. Noise, noise, noise, noise.
Boom!Copy !req
36. What's that? I can't hear you.
I'm also being hyped.Copy !req
37. Hype me.Copy !req
38. Uh, yay. Boom!Copy !req
39. Oh, lovely.
Yay! Boom!Copy !req
40. Wow! You're gonna need
to get way better at that,Copy !req
41. if you wanna be
buried with me for eternity.Copy !req
42. (GASPS) Stop.
What?Copy !req
43. If you step on a crack,
you'll break
your mother's back.Copy !req
44. Oh, no.
(GASPS)Copy !req
45. If you touch a tree,
you'll break
your sister's knee.Copy !req
46. I will?
(GASPS)Copy !req
47. Don't recoil or your dad's
career you will foil.Copy !req
48. Uh, okay.
I'm not really sure
how to react here.Copy !req
49. (GASPS) If you react,
you'll break your
mother's back.Copy !req
50. Again?Copy !req
51. She's a sensitive lady.Copy !req
52. All right, you're just
making this stuff up, are you?Copy !req
53. (GASPS) If you question
the rhyme,Copy !req
54. your family's healing
process will take extra time.Copy !req
55. Yeah, I'm going.
There's no way
any of that is real.Copy !req
56. And you're clearly
just making this...Copy !req
57. Sorry.Copy !req
58. (SHOUTING) My job!Copy !req
59. Have no fear, men.Copy !req
60. They can't cross
our castle's moat.Copy !req
61. Yes, but the water in the moat
is frozen solid.Copy !req
62. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
63. Oh, man.
That guy really missed it.Copy !req
64. Ah, what's wrong kid?
Penny for your thoughts?Copy !req
65. I'm having a bad day.Copy !req
66. I know what you need.Copy !req
67. How'd you like
an unpoppable balloon?Copy !req
68. Sure.Copy !req
69. (POPS)
There you go.Copy !req
70. No matter how hard you try,
you won't be able
to pop that one.Copy !req
71. Hey. That's because
you just popped it.Copy !req
72. This thing is useless.Copy !req
73. Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want
a poppable balloon?Copy !req
74. Yeah, one of those.Copy !req
75. (CHUCKLES) Okay, I assure you,
this balloon is very poppable.Copy !req
76. (POPS)
See.Copy !req
77. Hey, stop doing that.Copy !req
78. I don't want my balloons
to pop at all.Copy !req
79. Oh, I'm sorry about
the misunderstanding.Copy !req
80. How about I give
you a free balloon
to say "I'm sorry."Copy !req
81. Okay, thanks.Copy !req
82. There you go, it's free.Copy !req
83. That's not what I meant,
and you know it.Copy !req
84. I'm sick of you tricking me.
I'm out of here.Copy !req
85. No please.
I wasn't trying to trick you.
I promise.Copy !req
86. How about I make it up to you
by giving you
a balloon animal?Copy !req
87. What?Copy !req
88. How could you even
think I would try to fill
your dog with HeliumCopy !req
89. until he became
a living balloon?Copy !req
90. I would never
even think of doing that.Copy !req
91. You're thinking of it
right now.Copy !req
92. Here, have a thought balloon.
(GRUNTS)Copy !req
93. All right.Copy !req
94. Ow.Copy !req
95. I've done it.Copy !req
96. I have now build the biggest,
grandest pyramidCopy !req
97. (ECHOING) the world
has ever seen!Copy !req
98. Great. Now we can
move on to...
Hey.Copy !req
99. Hey, you, pharaoh.
Boom!Copy !req
100. (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
What is that?Copy !req
101. It's my Sphinx.
Pretty cool, right, brah?Copy !req
102. Oh, just ignore them, pharaoh.Copy !req
103. You have more important
things to do.Copy !req
104. What happened to your pyramid?Copy !req
105. Nah, man.
Pyramids are yesterday's news.Copy !req
106. Sphinxes are in.Copy !req
107. Broseph and the Amazing
Technicolor Lame Coat.Copy !req
108. Boom! You're gonna need water
from the NileCopy !req
109. to soothe that burn.Copy !req
110. Our Sphinx got a cat body.Copy !req
111. Sick cat body, brah.Copy !req
112. Our Sphinx got a hat thing.Copy !req
113. Mad hat, brah!Copy !req
114. Our Sphinx got mummy cats,
leftover from the pyramid.Copy !req
115. Big cat body
for the little cat bodies.Copy !req
116. And a secret Sphinx handshake.Copy !req
117. All right, hit' em!Copy !req
118. Noise, noise, Sphinx...Copy !req
119. Hit me with that.
What, what!
noise, Sphinx!Copy !req
120. Boom!Copy !req
121. You know what?
Two can play this game.Copy !req
122. (SNAPPING FINGERS) Assistant.
Please, no.Copy !req
123. Secret handshake.Copy !req
124. We don't have one.Copy !req
125. Just back me up.Copy !req
126. You have
a whole empire to run.Copy !req
127. I command you as pharaoh.Copy !req
128. Ugh.Copy !req
129. Not!
Boom!Copy !req
130. Call him Ra, the Sun God,
'cause all y'all
just got burnt.Copy !req
131. You'll see.
I'm going to build a Sphinx,Copy !req
132. and it's gonna be
the best SphinxCopy !req
133. the world has ever seen.Copy !req
134. I'm sorry, dude.
I can't hear you
over the sound of our Sphinx.Copy !req
135. What sound does
a Sphinx...
This one.Copy !req
136. Hmm, well.
I don't have a parachute,Copy !req
137. but maybe this umbrella
will slow my descent a little.Copy !req
138. Oh, man.
This thing is useless.Copy !req
139. (SCOFFS) Figures.Copy !req
140. Ladies and gentleman,
I'm pleased to announceCopy !req
141. that after 400 years
of extinctionCopy !req
142. my team has brought back
the beautiful emerald owl.Copy !req
143. (HOOTING)
Oh.Copy !req
144. Ah.
Ooh.Copy !req
145. Green.
Wow, what
a magnificent creature.Copy !req
146. It's stunning.
It's gorgeous!Copy !req
147. It's almost shining.Copy !req
148. That's because it's sweating.Copy !req
149. The endless sheen of
slick perspiration is how
its feathers stay so shiny.Copy !req
150. Well, I guess nature can't all
be pretty, but it's still...Copy !req
151. What's that smell?Copy !req
152. Ah, yes.
The smell of used
diapers in the sun.Copy !req
153. The emerald owl's sweat
smells of hot used diapers
at all times majestically.Copy !req
154. I got to be honest.Copy !req
155. This bird is getting less
majestic by the second.Copy !req
156. You're just saying
that because you haven't seen
it's beautiful smile.Copy !req
157. Ugh!Copy !req
158. (BOTH GASP)
Why does it have teeth?Copy !req
159. It shouldn't have teeth.Copy !req
160. No, it's fine.
It'll molt them in a second.Copy !req
161. See?Copy !req
162. Why would you bring this thing
back from extinction?Copy !req
163. It's beauty, of course.Copy !req
164. Just look at it.
Isn't it gorgeous?Copy !req
165. Well, that's pretty.Copy !req
166. Ooh, careful, careful.
Don't touch it.Copy !req
167. It's poisonous.
Ah!Copy !req
168. You touch that egg,
and all your skin falls
right off your body.Copy !req
169. Right off.
(WHIMPERS)Copy !req
170. Professor, how did
this owl go extinct?Copy !req
171. Usually, by popular demand.Copy !req
172. Oh, you mean the first time?
Nobody knows.Copy !req
173. But one theory is
that it lays beautiful eggs...
(SCREAMING)Copy !req
174. filled with spiders
instead of baby owls.Copy !req
175. Yeah, that makes sense.
(ALL SCREAMING)Copy !req
176. That makes sense
for this owl.
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)Copy !req
177. Okay, I did it.Copy !req
178. I finally completed my Sphinx,Copy !req
179. and it's the biggest, grandest
Sphinx the world has ever...Copy !req
180. Lame.
Ugh!Copy !req
181. (HIP HOP PLAYING ON BOOM BOX)
Pharaoh, for the love of Ra,
you have...Copy !req
182. My Sphinx is not lame.
How's it lame?Copy !req
183. Ugh!
They're doing it again.Copy !req
184. The Sphinxes are out, brah.Copy !req
185. Getting aliens to build
your stuff for you is in.Copy !req
186. We got obelisk.Copy !req
187. Mad pointy!Copy !req
188. We got statues.Copy !req
189. Good looks.Copy !req
190. We still got mummy cats.Copy !req
191. Bought too many of these!Copy !req
192. And we even got hieroglyphics.Copy !req
193. See, there's aliens
building everything,Copy !req
194. and there's us,
being mad chill.Copy !req
195. And there's you.
Check it out.Copy !req
196. You're crying and saying,
"I give up."Copy !req
197. Classic you, brah!Copy !req
198. That's it!Copy !req
199. (SOBBING) I give up.Copy !req
200. Woah!
Life imitating art, brah.Copy !req
201. Mind blown!Copy !req
202. I guess, I am lame
and so is everything I do.Copy !req
203. You were right all along.Copy !req
204. I couldn't beat them
and shouldn't have even tried.Copy !req
205. (SIGHS) You win.Copy !req
206. Sorry, can't hear you
over the sound
of the alien ships, brah.Copy !req
207. Look, you don't have
to be rude about it.
You won.Copy !req
208. Nah, seriously man.Copy !req
209. We can't hear you
over the sound
of the alien abduction, brah.Copy !req
210. It's not just like our thing!Copy !req
211. Wow, did you build all this?Copy !req
212. Yes.
Yes, we did.Copy !req
213. Boom.Copy !req
214. (IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
Class, I am very concernedCopy !req
215. with the results
of this morning's quiz.Copy !req
216. It appears that every student
in class gave the exact
same answers,Copy !req
217. except for one.Copy !req
218. Nick, you got nine out of 10.Copy !req
219. Yeah, pretty good, right?Copy !req
220. Everyone else got
10 out of 10.Copy !req
221. They are half robot cyborgs
and share a hive mind.Copy !req
222. And you can too
if you assimilate.Copy !req
223. Assimilate, assimilate.Copy !req
224. Yeah, but you don't grade
on a curve, so I'm good.Copy !req
225. If you plug your brain
into our...Copy !req
226. Computer core interface,
you will...Copy !req
227. Share our thoughts and be
as smart as everyone
around you,Copy !req
228. including I, your teacher.Copy !req
229. Meh, I'm pretty happy
with my grade as is.
I'm not greedy.Copy !req
230. Nick, as your teacher,
it concerns...
You're a student.Copy !req
231. Nick, as your teacher,
it concerns me
that for the questionCopy !req
232. "What is good about
assimilate?"Copy !req
233. You put, "You don't have
to wear pants."Copy !req
234. Did I get that one wrong?Copy !req
235. Because none of you
are wearing pants.Copy !req
236. That's the first thing
I noticed.Copy !req
237. Nick, let's wrap for a minute.Copy !req
238. I'm not sure you
fully understandCopy !req
239. the benefits of joining
the cyborg hive mind.Copy !req
240. Yeesh! What's her deal?Copy !req
241. Her deal is my deal.Copy !req
242. It's all of our deal.Copy !req
243. It could be your deal too.Copy !req
244. That's cool and all,
but I sort of travel
my own path.Copy !req
245. But hey, I don't judge.
You do you.Copy !req
246. Assimilate, assimilate.Copy !req
247. (BELL RINGS)
Uh, that's the bell
for lunch.Copy !req
248. Come on, guys.
It's taco Tuesday.Copy !req
249. If you assimilate,
we will all eat your tacos.Copy !req
250. Um, yeah, you need to work
on your sales pitch.Copy !req
251. Assimilate, assimilate.Copy !req
252. (STUTTERING) Assimilate.Copy !req
253. (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Here, my prince.Copy !req
254. Here rests the princess,Copy !req
255. cursed to an endless slumber
by an evil witch.Copy !req
256. At last, my beloved.Copy !req
257. And now to share
true love's kissCopy !req
258. and wake her
from this cursed sleep.Copy !req
259. (SNORING)
Ugh, wow, oh.
Morning breath.Copy !req
260. Well, she's been
asleep for a while.Copy !req
261. Okay, okay.
I can do this.
I can do this.Copy !req
262. (SNORING)
Ugh! No, I can't.
I can't kiss that.Copy !req
263. You have to.
She's your true love.Copy !req
264. Changed my mind.
That morning breath is nuts.Copy !req
265. It's not that bad.Copy !req
266. See, I'm standing next to her
and... (CHOCKING)
(SNORING)Copy !req
267. (BREATHLESSLY) It's fine.Copy !req
268. Then why aren't you breathing?Copy !req
269. I am. (STRAINING)Copy !req
270. Fresh air. (COUGHS)Copy !req
271. Ha! You can't do it either.
You can't...Copy !req
272. Is that her foot?Copy !req
273. There's another prince.
Her breath knocked him out.Copy !req
274. How many other princes
have there been?Copy !req
275. Not that many. None.
I don't know that guy.Copy !req
276. Okay, I'm done. I'm out.Copy !req
277. Wait.Copy !req
278. Let's talk this through
like civilized people and try
to come up with a solution.Copy !req
279. I am sure that if you just...Copy !req
280. (GRUNTS) Go, smooch, smooch!Copy !req
281. No. Ow!
(STRAINING)
Kiss your true love.Copy !req
282. Ah. (GAGS)
Ugh, gross.
It's in my mouth.Copy !req
283. I can smell it too!Copy !req
284. Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.Copy !req
285. What?Copy !req
286. Ah, yes.Copy !req
287. Now, we can all...Copy !req
288. Run, run from the yawn!Copy !req
289. Wow! That witch sure
cursed a lot of people
to endless slumber.Copy !req
290. Well, time to get kissing.Copy !req
291. No.Copy !req
292. Welcome to
Pizza Creation Station.Copy !req
293. Pick any topping you want,
and we'll make it for you
for $10.Copy !req
294. Any topping in the world
for $10?Copy !req
295. That's right.Copy !req
296. All right then.Copy !req
297. For my topping, I wantCopy !req
298. $11.Copy !req
299. Oh, my.Copy !req
300. (SIGHS) Here.Copy !req
301. One pizza with $11.Copy !req
302. That'll be $10.Copy !req
303. (CHUCKLES) Pleasure doing
business with you.Copy !req
304. Oh, mmm.Copy !req
305. Oh, tasty $11. Mmm.Copy !req
306. Huh.Copy !req
307. Excellent.
They're flying the white flag.Copy !req
308. The pirates are surrendering.Copy !req
309. Let's go meet them.Copy !req
310. Hey, uh...Copy !req
311. Uh, what're you doing here?Copy !req
312. We're here to accept
your surrender.Copy !req
313. Oh, we're not surrendering.Copy !req
314. We are attacking.Copy !req
315. But your flag?Copy !req
316. Oh. That's one
of our hammocks.Copy !req
317. How did that get up there?
Where's the flag?Copy !req
318. It's a trap, sir.
Back to the ship.Copy !req
319. Hey, come here.Copy !req
320. (STRAINING) Almost got them.Copy !req
321. Never mind. There's no rush.
These are very lazy pirates.Copy !req
322. Hey, man. While you're up,
could you refill my drink?Copy !req
323. Oh, come on.
Don't pass to the other team.Copy !req
324. Yay!Copy !req
325. You guys really
shouldn't be celebrating.Copy !req
326. You just helped
the other team score.Copy !req
327. There's only one team.Copy !req
328. We're all one team together.Copy !req
329. Nick, hustle over.Copy !req
330. I need to coach you.Copy !req
331. Nick, there's
a new team strategy
for winning at soccer.Copy !req
332. Assimilate.Copy !req
333. Hmm, can it maybe instead be,
"Play Soccer Normal."Copy !req
334. No, it is assimilate.Copy !req
335. You should assimilate
because you are
the worst player.Copy !req
336. Mmm, pretty sure
I'm the only oneCopy !req
337. who hasn't scored
on my own goal.
Yay!Copy !req
338. But if you assimilate,
you will be good at soccer.Copy !req
339. Assimilate.Copy !req
340. Shouldn't you all be
playing the game?Copy !req
341. No, game is over.
The team wins.Copy !req
342. The one team wins.
The one team is happy.Copy !req
343. All right, that was
pretty easy.Copy !req
344. Join us, Nick.
We have trophies.Copy !req
345. Yeah, but I'm on the team
and we won.Copy !req
346. Don't I get one, either way?Copy !req
347. No, trophies are not
for winners.Copy !req
348. They are for assimilating.Copy !req
349. Ah, okay. I was wondering
why the ref had one too.Copy !req
350. Yay!Copy !req
351. Assimilating is its own
reward, Nick,Copy !req
352. but also trophies.Copy !req
353. Come on, Nick.
There is no "I"
in assimilate.Copy !req
354. Yeah, there is.
There's two.Copy !req
355. Nick, as your coach...Copy !req
356. You're not my coach.Copy !req
357. He's the coach, and actually
he's not my coach.
I quit soccer.Copy !req
358. (CHANTING)
Two, four, six, eight.Copy !req
359. Who should now assimilate?Copy !req
360. Nick, Nick, Nick.Copy !req
361. Come on, Nick.
Winning is fun.Copy !req
362. Don't chew with
your mouth open.Copy !req
363. Where did you learn
manners like that?Copy !req
364. I'll tell you where.
It's that awful music
he listens to.Copy !req
365. You don't understand.
(CRYING)Copy !req
366. Good evening, monsieur.
May we take
mademoiselle's coat?Copy !req
367. Please.Copy !req
368. Hey, listen.
This dinner has
to be perfect, okay?Copy !req
369. I'm going to propose.Copy !req
370. Ah, c'est magnifique.Copy !req
371. Do not worry.
We will take
extra special careCopy !req
372. for this extra
special evening.Copy !req
373. Rudolpho, Victorio, Stacy.
Prepare the extra
special special.Copy !req
374. Extra special.
What does she mean?Copy !req
375. Well, you see, I...
I wanted to ask you something.Copy !req
376. Darling, I love...Copy !req
377. Here we are
two bagatelle saladsCopy !req
378. for two love birds.Copy !req
379. Uh, oh, thank you.Copy !req
380. As I was saying...Copy !req
381. And two savory beef consomme
for you to savor together.Copy !req
382. And the two steak as rare as
the true love share.Copy !req
383. Okay, okay. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
384. Kind of trying to get
to the important part here.Copy !req
385. Ah, oui, oui.Copy !req
386. Say no more.Copy !req
387. My darling, will you...Copy !req
388. The most important part.
The cake.Copy !req
389. And voulez un flambe.Copy !req
390. And the 80-piece
hot-wing plate.Copy !req
391. Oh, that looks like
a wedding cake.Copy !req
392. Yes, well, actually,
that's sort of...Copy !req
393. Waiter, please take
all of this away.Copy !req
394. Oui, oui. I'll have him
put in a doggy bag for you.Copy !req
395. Now, Cindy.
I wanted to ask you...Copy !req
396. Ahhh! The hot sauce.Copy !req
397. My eyes!Copy !req
398. Wait, weren't there
three waiters before?Copy !req
399. Is someone in the brule?Copy !req
400. Uh, don't worry about it.Copy !req
401. Enough!
You are ruining our dinner.Copy !req
402. Please, no more food.Copy !req
403. Bien sur, apologies.
No more food,Copy !req
404. uh, except
for the following food.Copy !req
405. A bottomless nacho,Copy !req
406. a big pile
of pork sliders,Copy !req
407. giant soup bucket,Copy !req
408. a mushroom the size
of a hubcap.Copy !req
409. Just get out of here.
We're done!Copy !req
410. Very well, monsieur. (CLAPS)Copy !req
411. Quick, before she comes back.
Will you make me
the happiest man aliveCopy !req
412. and do me the honor of...Copy !req
413. Your bill, monsieur.Copy !req
414. (CLEARS THROAT)
Splitting the check.Copy !req
415. And your doggy bag.Copy !req
416. Nick, you do not seem
to care about logicCopy !req
417. or being accepted
by your peersCopy !req
418. or trophiesCopy !req
419. or any of the things
that convince normal
beings to assimilate.Copy !req
420. Assimilate.Copy !req
421. But we've finally discovered
something you do care about.Copy !req
422. Suzie, the girl you have
a crush on.Copy !req
423. And if you agree
to assimilate,
we'll let you dance with me.Copy !req
424. Wow, that's a really
tempting offer.Copy !req
425. Really?Copy !req
426. Yeah.
If assimilating will get
me a dance with you,Copy !req
427. maybe I should assimilate.Copy !req
428. Wow.
I have been dreaming
of this moment for so long.Copy !req
429. As your crush...
You're my teacher.Copy !req
430. As your crush...Copy !req
431. Now, you're my coach.Copy !req
432. Is this the right one?Copy !req
433. Thank you, Nick.Copy !req
434. As your crush,
I want to kiss you
at the end of the dance.Copy !req
435. And when you kiss her,Copy !req
436. it will be like you are
kissing all of us.Copy !req
437. Okay, again. You really need
to work on your sales pitch.Copy !req
438. So, come on, Nick.Copy !req
439. Dance with me
to the new hit song calledCopy !req
440. Assimilate.Copy !req
441. (SCREAMS)
♪ Erase your voice
with several partsCopy !req
442. Wait, stop.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
443. Suzie, I really do like you.Copy !req
444. And that dance
sure was in unison.Copy !req
445. But I don't think
it's going to work out.Copy !req
446. You love being part of
a never-sleeping hive mind,Copy !req
447. and I love wearing pants.Copy !req
448. I'm sorry.
We're just too different.Copy !req
449. No, no, no!Copy !req
450. Ahhh!Copy !req
451. How was the dance, son?Copy !req
452. You know how it went.Copy !req
453. It was fine, Mom.
Let's go.Copy !req
454. Big cat body
for the little cat bodies.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)Copy !req