1. Listen up, crew.Copy !req
2. I know you're all cold, tired,
and longing for the comfort
of a warm bed.Copy !req
3. But after weeks at sea,Copy !req
4. - our long quest
is nearly over.
- (MURMUR EXCITEDLY)Copy !req
5. I've finally devised
the perfect plan to catch
the monstrous white whaleCopy !req
6. that took my left hand.Copy !req
7. It's very simple you see.Copy !req
8. We'll use my other hand
as bait!Copy !req
9. Okay, wait, I...
I think I'm confused.Copy !req
10. It's the perfect plan!Copy !req
11. Just think about it.
We already know she
likes to eat hands.Copy !req
12. Yeah, we're not gonna do that.Copy !req
13. Captain, we can't use
your hand to catch
the giant whale.Copy !req
14. Sir, that's crazy.Copy !req
15. Look, what's the problem?Copy !req
16. Didn't I tell you
I'd give my right arm
to catch that whale?Copy !req
17. And you literally
already gave one.Copy !req
18. Yeah, my left one.Copy !req
19. I said I'd give my right.Copy !req
20. (CHUCKLES) This guy.Copy !req
21. There she blows!
The great white whale!Copy !req
22. At last!Copy !req
23. Here's my hand, you beast!Copy !req
24. - Delicious, irresistible hand!
- (CLAMORING)Copy !req
25. No, stop! Why would that whale
even want your hand?Copy !req
26. - It eats krill.
- Oh, really?Copy !req
27. Really? It eats krill?Copy !req
28. 'Cause I think we've
pretty well established
other fish like hands.Copy !req
29. Whoo! Who knows whales?
I know whales!Copy !req
30. Who's the whale man?
Who's the whale man?Copy !req
31. Say my name!
Who's the whale man?Copy !req
32. High-five! Get it
while it lasts! Oh! All right!Copy !req
33. (SING-SONG)
Just a whale. All the whales.
I'm the whale man.Copy !req
34. Oh, no! She's right there!Copy !req
35. I have to warn you,
this plate is very hot.Copy !req
36. - (SIZZLES)
- Ooh! Thanks for the warning.Copy !req
37. And I have to warn you,
the food is very terrible.Copy !req
38. (SPITS) Oh, he's right!Copy !req
39. A warning doesn't
excuse bad food.
I wanna speak to the chef.Copy !req
40. Okay. But I have to warn you,
the chef is very busy.Copy !req
41. Oh! Uh! Huh...
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
42. Well, that's still no excuse.Copy !req
43. And I have to warn you,
he's very angry.Copy !req
44. Well, okay, I guess
we don't wanna bother him.Copy !req
45. Okay.Copy !req
46. But I have to warn you,
he's already heard
everything you've said.Copy !req
47. And I really have to warn you,
he's spent time in prison.Copy !req
48. And I have to warn you,
he knows martial arts.Copy !req
49. And I have to warn you,
he cooks food,
but he bites anything.Copy !req
50. I have to warn all of you,Copy !req
51. the salad contains pine nuts.Copy !req
52. And also, run!Copy !req
53. Morgana, have you been
riding my broom again?Copy !req
54. (GROANS) No, Mom.Copy !req
55. Then why is the cat
tuned to your favorite
radio station?Copy !req
56. I love rummaging
in the junkyard.Copy !req
57. So much cool stuff to find.Copy !req
58. (GASPS) Like this!Copy !req
59. This stool just needs
a little paint.
It's perfectly good!Copy !req
60. Oh, and this!Copy !req
61. Who would throw away
a perfectly good lamp?Copy !req
62. It's mine now!Copy !req
63. - (GROWLING, BARKING)
- Ooh! And look at this!Copy !req
64. A perfectly good guard dog.Copy !req
65. Who would throw away
such an amazing guard dog?Copy !req
66. You are coming with me.Copy !req
67. - (DOG YELPS)
- Hey!Copy !req
68. This junkyard
is private property.Copy !req
69. - You're trespassing!
- Oh, wow!Copy !req
70. Who would throw away
this angry, angry man?Copy !req
71. He's in perfectly
good condition!Copy !req
72. That's...Copy !req
73. That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said
about me.Copy !req
74. Well, you're going
in my living room.Copy !req
75. - Can you hold coats?
- Sure!Copy !req
76. - I can open cans, too!
- Whoa!Copy !req
77. - Cans?
- (BARKS)Copy !req
78. All right, sailors, I know
morale might be a little low
after recent events.Copy !req
79. But not me!Copy !req
80. Because I have a new,
better plan to hook
that beastly white whale.Copy !req
81. Now, who among you
wants to give me a hand?Copy !req
82. And by give you
a hand, you mean...Copy !req
83. Let me use your hand
as whale bait.Copy !req
84. - (WHISTLING)
- Guys, come on!Copy !req
85. We've already confirmed
she has a weakness for hands,Copy !req
86. that's proven!
That is solid info.Copy !req
87. That whale
outsmarted me before,
but now she's getting cocky.Copy !req
88. And that's how we'll get her!Copy !req
89. I really think one more hand
will do the trick.Copy !req
90. There be the white whale.
Dead ahead!Copy !req
91. (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
You heard her, men!Copy !req
92. White whale, dead ahead!
All hands on deck!Copy !req
93. Yeah, hands!
All those hands on the deck.Copy !req
94. - Gimme 'em! Gimme those hands.
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
95. - Use them for bait.
Give me your hand
- Not gonna happen.Copy !req
96. Fine, I'll do it myself!Copy !req
97. Here you go, monster whale.Copy !req
98. It's my foot!Copy !req
99. It's as good as any hand,
just flatter and stinkier!Copy !req
100. Okay, the plan's working.Copy !req
101. She's coming
straight for my foot.
Now, toss me a harpoon!Copy !req
102. - (CLATTERS)
- Oh, shoot.Copy !req
103. Step right up!
It's time to play
Dunk the Mayor.Copy !req
104. Five dollars a throw,
and all the money
is going to a good cause.Copy !req
105. Help us build a well,
so this town can get the water
we so desperately need.Copy !req
106. Who's first?Copy !req
107. - (GRUNTS)
- Ugh! Ow! Ow...Copy !req
108. Awaken, magic mirror.Copy !req
109. Your queen summons you!Copy !req
110. I hear and obey, my queen.Copy !req
111. I desire to know what plots
my nemesis conspires.Copy !req
112. Magic mirror, I command you
show me the king!Copy !req
113. - Uh-oh...
- Behold your enemy, the king.Copy !req
114. There he is.Copy !req
115. The bane of my existence.Copy !req
116. No doubt he has
some scheme brewing.Copy !req
117. I don't know, he doesn't
look so smart to me.Copy !req
118. I think he actually
looks kinda dumb.Copy !req
119. Don't let his appearance
fool you.Copy !req
120. The King is always
spinning wheels within wheels.Copy !req
121. If you say so. But it seems
like he's just chilin' in the
throne room doing nothing.Copy !req
122. (STAMMERS) Uh, servant...Copy !req
123. - (TRAP DOOR CREAKING)
- My liege...Copy !req
124. Where are we at on, uh,
that thing we discussed?Copy !req
125. - What thing?
- Oh, you know, the whole,
the wheels...Copy !req
126. within the other
wheels kinda situation
we had going on.Copy !req
127. You said you didn't
want to be disturbedCopy !req
128. because you were going to use
your magic mirror to spy...Copy !req
129. Okay, okay,
thank you. That'll do.Copy !req
130. - Now, get out.
Just get out. Thank you.
- (TRAP DOOR CLOSES)Copy !req
131. Uh, servants. Am I right?Copy !req
132. I say out loud
to myself, for no reason.Copy !req
133. I can't quite put
my finger on it,Copy !req
134. but there's something
peculiar going on.Copy !req
135. He must be up to something!Copy !req
136. Okay, seriously.
You're giving this guy
way too much credit.Copy !req
137. I mean look at him.
He's an oaf!Copy !req
138. Like, the only thing
surprising about himCopy !req
139. is that he can fit
his dumb crown
over his fat head!Copy !req
140. - Hey, you leave
the crown out of this!
- Uh...Copy !req
141. Oh...Copy !req
142. - Can he hear us?
- No!Copy !req
143. Magic mirror, I command you.Copy !req
144. Show me the King's
magic mirror...Copy !req
145. Busted!Copy !req
146. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
147. So you were spying on me?Copy !req
148. When you started
spying on me, yep.Copy !req
149. Well, that's
a crazy coincidence.Copy !req
150. - That's never happened
to me before.
- Yeah, me neither!Copy !req
151. The whole time I was like,
"What am I supposed
to do here?"Copy !req
152. (LAUGHS) I'll bet!Copy !req
153. - Hmm. Bye-bye!
- Yeah, you, uh,
you have a good one.Copy !req
154. You, too!Copy !req
155. - Hold on. Mirror?
- Yes?Copy !req
156. Show me the King again.Copy !req
157. Whoops! Whoa! I mean,
hey, is this thing still on?Copy !req
158. Yeah. Oh,
I don't know how
to turn it off. It's, uh...Copy !req
159. It's, like, broken
or something.
It's, uh...Copy !req
160. Ah, whatever.
Yeah, you got me.Copy !req
161. All right, sailors.
I know it's been
a rough ride,Copy !req
162. but last time, we came
closer than ever beforeCopy !req
163. to finally catching
that demon whale,Copy !req
164. and I'm very proud of that.Copy !req
165. So, I've decide to quit
when I'm ahead.Copy !req
166. By quit when you're ahead,
you, uh...Copy !req
167. Everything below my chin
is fair game!Copy !req
168. - No!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
169. Come on! We can't quit now!Copy !req
170. Seriously!
We're, like, this close!Copy !req
171. Captain, we're really not.Copy !req
172. We've basically just
been feeding the whale
pieces of ya.Copy !req
173. Hey, I feel great!Copy !req
174. Uh!Copy !req
175. This has all been
part of my plan.Copy !req
176. Giving that whale
little tastes of me,Copy !req
177. lowering her defenses,Copy !req
178. so I can hit her
with everything I've got!Copy !req
179. Which basically is just
my torso at this point.Copy !req
180. Now, if one of you will just
lower me into the water
to be used as bait.Copy !req
181. You know,Copy !req
182. that whale may have
eaten a lot of me,Copy !req
183. my hands, my legs,Copy !req
184. but there was
one thing I thought
could never be eaten,Copy !req
185. my dreams.Copy !req
186. But I was wrong.Copy !req
187. You've eaten my dreams.Copy !req
188. You ate my dreams
like they were nothing
but a hand.Copy !req
189. Look! The white whale is back!Copy !req
190. (SIGHS) All right, crew! Ha!Copy !req
191. - 20 degrees rudder!
Aye, aye!Copy !req
192. Put your back into it, boys!Copy !req
193. Let's get
the captain his whale!Copy !req
194. Uh-oh...Copy !req
195. - (GASPS)
I've done it!Copy !req
196. I've caught the white whale!Copy !req
197. I see it now, old girl.Copy !req
198. We're not so different,
you and I.Copy !req
199. You're basically just a head
and a torso,Copy !req
200. I'm basically
just a head and a torso!Copy !req
201. You find me delicious,Copy !req
202. I probably find you delicious.Copy !req
203. Oh, boy, this house
sure is creepy.Copy !req
204. Wha...Copy !req
205. Huh? Who's there?Copy !req
206. Get out!Copy !req
207. Get out!Copy !req
208. Leave this house
and never return!Copy !req
209. Yeah, yeah, I'll get out.
Right after we demolish
the place.Copy !req
210. What? Why would you
demolish my house?Copy !req
211. Because no one wants
to live here.Copy !req
212. What? Why not?
This place is great.Copy !req
213. People don't want to
live here because
the house is haunted.Copy !req
214. Oh, that makes sense.Copy !req
215. Did you think
you could scare people out
of this house for decadesCopy !req
216. and they'd just leave it here?Copy !req
217. Well, I mean when you say
it out loud like that... Look,Copy !req
218. I've never had anyone
to talk this plan over with.Copy !req
219. That's 'cause you
scared them all away.Copy !req
220. Yeah, we know what I did.
Let's just move past that.Copy !req
221. Where am I supposed to live?Copy !req
222. I don't know. Maybe you
should've thought of thatCopy !req
223. before you haunted
this house so hard.Copy !req
224. - Stop demolishing this house!
- Too late. Already did.Copy !req
225. (SIGHS) Boo.Copy !req
226. Can I use your bathroom?
I'll buy something.Copy !req
227. Oh, that's all right.
You can just use it.Copy !req
228. You don't have
to buy anything.Copy !req
229. No, no. I'd feel bad, uh,
using the bathroom
if I don't buy something.Copy !req
230. But this is a car dealership.Copy !req
231. We only sell cars here.Copy !req
232. Ah, great! Do you have
anything in a hatchback?Copy !req
233. Hey, man,
the bathroom's right there.Copy !req
234. How about this one? (GROANS)Copy !req
235. Yeah, that's a good car.Copy !req
236. (GROANS)
Does it come in green?Copy !req
237. Let's talk about it
after you use
the bathroom, all right?Copy !req
238. No, I insist. (GROANS)Copy !req
239. I'd love to take it
for a test drive.Copy !req
240. - Are you serious?
- Hurry, hurry, hurry!Copy !req
241. I don't think it's healthy
to wait this long.Copy !req
242. She handles pretty well!
(GROANS) Oh, no, please!Copy !req
243. Let's pull over into
that gas station.
They have a bathroom.Copy !req
244. We're fine!
Uh-oh, traffic jam!Copy !req
245. Looks like
a bust water main.Copy !req
246. That's okay.
We'll take a detour.Copy !req
247. - Uh, I don't know about this.
- It's fine!Copy !req
248. Oh, man, that was
a great ride. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
249. You know what? I'll take it.Copy !req
250. Well, yeah, now you
pretty much have to.Copy !req
251. I love the spring.Copy !req
252. Flowers are blooming,Copy !req
253. everything is coming to life,Copy !req
254. everything feels so brand new!Copy !req
255. Look, that stork is bringing
somebody a baby!Copy !req
256. Some happy couple is in
for a pleasant surprise.Copy !req
257. Actually, you see
the way the neck
retracts during flight,Copy !req
258. - that's a heron.
- Oh, I didn't know that!Copy !req
259. - My baby!
- Wait a minute...Copy !req
260. - That's my baby!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
261. - Stop that bird!
- Stupid heron!Copy !req
262. For the last time,Copy !req
263. when you cast your vote
for our next field trip,Copy !req
264. you are choosing between
two and only two options,Copy !req
265. nature hike or planetarium.Copy !req
266. And yet, we have
four votes for nature hike,Copy !req
267. four for planetarium,Copy !req
268. and one vote, yet again,
for fox hunt.Copy !req
269. Our class will never,
ever go on a fox hunt.Copy !req
270. It's not an option.Copy !req
271. It was never an option.Copy !req
272. So, please. I'm asking
whoever keeps voting
for fox hunt,Copy !req
273. whoever that might be,Copy !req
274. to change their vote.Copy !req
275. I'm sure there is
something else he can enjoy.Copy !req
276. - Or she.
- Right.Copy !req
277. He or she,Copy !req
278. because we don't know
who it is.Copy !req
279. Thank you, Percival.Copy !req
280. Indeed. Well, I must say,
this is a puzzle.Copy !req
281. All three are
such good choices.Copy !req
282. Two choices!Copy !req
283. But which would be
the most invigoratingCopy !req
284. for the body and spirit?Copy !req
285. Hmm. Pop question.Copy !req
286. Either nature hike
or planetarium.Copy !req
287. Or fox hunt, yes.Copy !req
288. Funny coincidence,
I've actually been
fox hunting before.Copy !req
289. - We know!
- And I must say,
it was jolly good fun.Copy !req
290. The mad dash of the hounds
into the brush,Copy !req
291. the thrilling blast
of the horn!Copy !req
292. - Percival, no!
- (BLOWS HUNTING HORN)Copy !req
293. What a coincidence!Copy !req
294. If I'm not mistaken,
these are fox hunting hounds!Copy !req
295. I'm not a fox, I'm not a fox!Copy !req
296. Call them off, Percival.Copy !req
297. Aloysius, Mongulous,
Lady Patient, to me!Copy !req
298. So, does anyone know
whose dogs these are?Copy !req
299. Percy, we are not
going fox hunting.Copy !req
300. - Change your vote now!
- No need to get chuffy.Copy !req
301. - Percival!
- Nature hike.Copy !req
302. - (ALL SIGHING)
- Thank you.Copy !req
303. So, what sorts of animals
might we expect to see
on this nature...Copy !req
304. No foxes.Copy !req
305. - Ho-ho! Hey!
- Whoa! Wow!Copy !req
306. - Oh, oh, look out!
- This is fun.Copy !req
307. - I'm over here.
- Come on.Copy !req
308. Soccer! Whoa!Copy !req
309. - (BOTH GASPING)
- Leave this house
and never return!Copy !req
310. - Yeah, we're in a field.
- I know that.Copy !req
311. But, um, there used to be
a house here and I'm,
um, haunting it!Copy !req
312. So, you haunt this field?Copy !req
313. No, I'm not haunting
this field. I'm...Copy !req
314. That doesn't make sense.
I'm haunting the house
that used to be here.Copy !req
315. - What happened to the house?
- Hey, I don't like questions.Copy !req
316. (MENACINGLY) Now get out!Copy !req
317. Oh, you're gone.Copy !req
318. We're just gonna
play over here.Copy !req
319. Fine. Cool. Good.
That's what I wanted.Copy !req
320. I wanted to stand alone
in a field, forever.Copy !req
321. A little help?Copy !req
322. (GRUNTS) Oh...Copy !req
323. You can come get it.
But then, you gotta get out...Copy !req
324. Thank you all for coming
to the ribbon-cutting ceremonyCopy !req
325. as we celebrate the opening
of this scissor factory,Copy !req
326. which our town
so desperately needs.Copy !req
327. Stupid thing!Copy !req
328. Don't do that!
It's bad for your teeth!Copy !req
329. Well, I can't get it!
(GRUNTING)Copy !req
330. Hear ye! The tournament
of the silver arrow is down
to its final two competitors.Copy !req
331. First archer, take your shot.Copy !req
332. It appears we have a winner!Copy !req
333. Archer two, take your shot,
and be quick about it.Copy !req
334. We have a winner,
a new champion archer
of the realm!Copy !req
335. - I am no such thing.
- (CROWD GASPS)Copy !req
336. What?Copy !req
337. - Robin!
- Mmm-hmm, yes.
It is I, Robin Hood.Copy !req
338. Scourge of the rich
and friend of the poor.Copy !req
339. Seize him!Copy !req
340. Excuse me, uh, excuse me.Copy !req
341. Yes, what is it?Copy !req
342. Why did Robin Hood
win the contest and not me?Copy !req
343. Because he split
your arrow in twain!Copy !req
344. Shoo... Right in twain.
He twained it!Copy !req
345. No, right, I get that.
But that just means
he also got a bulls eye.Copy !req
346. We tied. Am I crazy?Copy !req
347. This is ridiculous. Seize me!Copy !req
348. Splitting the arrow
just provesCopy !req
349. that we literally could not
have tied anymore than we did.Copy !req
350. But, it was so cool!Copy !req
351. Oh, I'm sorry.
If I'd have known
this was a cool contest,Copy !req
352. I'd have worn
my green pajamas.Copy !req
353. It's a tie! You can't
just make up the rules!Copy !req
354. You must be
a blast at parties.Copy !req
355. And you must
have a book calledCopy !req
356. Things People Say
When They Know They're Wrong.Copy !req
357. Enough! Seize that man.Copy !req
358. Why are you seizing me?
I'm right!Copy !req
359. Yes, while you are
technically correct,Copy !req
360. you are also incredibly
annoying and un-fun.Copy !req
361. Guards, take him
to the dungeon.Copy !req
362. Um, actually it has
to be underground
to be a dungeon.Copy !req
363. What you're taking me
to is a jail.Copy !req
364. I hope that knowledge
keeps you warm in the dungeon.Copy !req
365. Is that above
underground thing right?Copy !req
366. - (STORE BELL DINGS)
- Hello?Copy !req
367. I'd like a smoothie.Copy !req
368. Oh! (YELLS)Copy !req
369. (MENACINGLY) Get out!Copy !req
370. Leave this house
and never return!Copy !req
371. Yes, this is a smoothie shop,Copy !req
372. but there used to be
a house here,Copy !req
373. and then it was a field,
and I haunt it.
What do you want?Copy !req
374. I want a smoothie.
I said that a second ago.Copy !req
375. Sorry, you haunted the field?Copy !req
376. Who would haunt a field?
There's nothing there.
I haunted the house.Copy !req
377. And now, you haunt
this smoothie shop?Copy !req
378. Of course not.
I work at the smoothie shop.Copy !req
379. What can I get you?Copy !req
380. Oh, great! I'll have
a berry banana smoothie.Copy !req
381. (MENACINGLY) Coming right up!Copy !req
382. - Oh, that's really good.
- Thank you.Copy !req
383. Now, my work here
is finally done, and I canCopy !req
384. leave this place...Copy !req
385. - Really? It's only three.
- Oh, man. I don't get off
till six.Copy !req