1. Hold it right there, villain.Copy !req
2. You can't hide from justice.Copy !req
3. What? Hey, how did you
find my secret base?Copy !req
4. Never mind.Copy !req
5. For you will
never leave aliveCopy !req
6. within these walls
of the most fiendish,
diabolical, death-trap...Copy !req
7. Is that a water-slide?Copy !req
8. What? No, that's not
a water-slide.
That's a death-trap.Copy !req
9. I just said that.Copy !req
10. As I was saying, my lair
is riddled with death-trap...Copy !req
11. 'Cause that looks
like a water-slide.Copy !req
12. Not a water-slide.
It's a death-trap.Copy !req
13. It's a chute for
dropping people into
a shark-filled tank...Copy !req
14. Where're the sharks?Copy !req
15. Okay, it's not done.
I haven't put them
in yet, okay.Copy !req
16. Look it's a new base and
you guys kinda surprised me.Copy !req
17. But know that I have
many more devious...Copy !req
18. - Whee!
- Stop sliding
on my death-trap!Copy !req
19. Oh, man, look, he's got
a giant spinner-ride!Copy !req
20. That's not a ride.
That's my centrifuge of doom.Copy !req
21. Fun centrifuge.Copy !req
22. Ah, which is not done yet,Copy !req
23. making it just
a fun spinner-ride.Copy !req
24. Hey, hey, look at me,
I'm on the swings!Copy !req
25. That's my swinging saw-trap.Copy !req
26. No saws.Copy !req
27. It's not done yet.Copy !req
28. The saws haven't
been delivered!Copy !req
29. Ball-pit!Copy !req
30. That's not a ball-pit.
It's a snake-pit.Copy !req
31. The snakes haven't
hatched yet.Copy !req
32. This is so fun.Copy !req
33. And now they never will.Copy !req
34. Bumper-cars!Copy !req
35. - Hey, that's my car!Copy !req
36. Now you're just
destroying my stuff!Copy !req
37. Hey, take my picture.
I'm having so much fun!Copy !req
38. No one take his picture!Copy !req
39. You're not having fun. This is
not a fun amusement park.Copy !req
40. This is a very serious,
very deadly, very evil
secret base!Copy !req
41. All right, all right.
If it's not an amusement parkCopy !req
42. why do you have
a cotton-candy machine?Copy !req
43. No that's a...
It's my evil, very evilCopy !req
44. delicious...Copy !req
45. Okay, yeah,
but it's my one indulgence.Copy !req
46. Yay!
Amusement park!Copy !req
47. Sir, look there.Copy !req
48. Ah, dolphins. The heavens
favor us with a good omen.Copy !req
49. Forward my warriors.Copy !req
50. Aye, aye.Copy !req
51. Sir, look!Copy !req
52. Hmm, sharks. A bad omen
bars our path.Copy !req
53. Turn back my warriors.Copy !req
54. Aye, aye.Copy !req
55. Sir, over there.Copy !req
56. A rock in the shape
of a thumbs up.Copy !req
57. That's definitely a good omen.Copy !req
58. - Turn around.
Aye, aye.Copy !req
59. A rock in the shape
of a frowny face.
Ooh, classic bad omen.Copy !req
60. Okay, turn it back.Copy !req
61. Aye, aye.Copy !req
62. Sir, red sky.Copy !req
63. Good omen.Copy !req
64. An albatross
carrying bananas.Copy !req
65. Bad omen.Copy !req
66. - A struggling black cat.Copy !req
67. Uh, good omen?Copy !req
68. A ghost ship.Copy !req
69. Okay, that's definitely bad.Copy !req
70. Aw, the ghost ship is sinking.Copy !req
71. Uh... What... No...
That's good,
that's a good omen now.Copy !req
72. Good, yes, good.Copy !req
73. A walrus that's doing
raise the roof,Copy !req
74. but also shaking its head.Copy !req
75. Okay, you know what,
heads or tails?Copy !req
76. Tails.Copy !req
77. Hey, look at that. Everything
we just saw was a good omen.
Full speed ahead.Copy !req
78. Aye, aye.Copy !req
79. So, bad omen?Copy !req
80. If you wanna hear really
great, authentic harmonica,
follow me.Copy !req
81. Hey, you gotta pay
for that!Copy !req
82. - That's right, the mostCopy !req
83. innovative stuff on harmonica
music is happening...Copy !req
84. - In jail.Copy !req
85. Wow, that is good.Copy !req
86. Not worth being arrested for,
but really good.Copy !req
87. - What's going on?Copy !req
88. Get out!Copy !req
89. How did you do that?Copy !req
90. Do what?Copy !req
91. Turn on the ceiling lanterns.Copy !req
92. I saw neither match
nor kerosene.Copy !req
93. - We just hit the light switch.Copy !req
94. This reeks
of magic. You control
the light of the sun.Copy !req
95. Oh, I see. Electric lights
were invented after your time.Copy !req
96. This is just
modern technology.Copy !req
97. Fantastic, I must see more!Copy !req
98. Uh...Copy !req
99. - We can show you the TV.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
100. Okay, the TV is a box that
displays moving pictures...Copy !req
101. No, no, no. Show me
more of this light switch.Copy !req
102. It is dark. It is light.Copy !req
103. Yeah, that's what
the light switch does.Copy !req
104. But we've also got cars.Copy !req
105. It's dark again.Copy !req
106. - Telephones, computers,
washing machine...
- Dark, light.Copy !req
107. - ... fridge, the internet...
- Dark, light.Copy !req
108. Sorry, could you stop
flicking the light switch?Copy !req
109. We got things in the kitchen
that are way more impressive.Copy !req
110. Or in the garage.
Literally anywhere
in the house.Copy !req
111. Amazing. I have to
show the others.Copy !req
112. Gentle ghosts, assemble.Copy !req
113. Everyone, look.
I can control night and day.Copy !req
114. And now it is night!Copy !req
115. It's light now.Copy !req
116. Dark.Copy !req
117. Dark, light again.
Wow.Copy !req
118. This is going to be annoying.Copy !req
119. Wow. A lot of people
have died in this house.Copy !req
120. Ugh, I told them no gum
on the rides... Death-traps.Copy !req
121. I mean, death-traps.Copy !req
122. Finally, my saws.Copy !req
123. Listen, buddy, I don't
know who taught you how
to deliver saws but...Copy !req
124. Uh, hello?Copy !req
125. You open yet?Copy !req
126. - Excuse me?
- The amusement park.Copy !req
127. When do you open?Copy !req
128. Oh, for... This is not
an amusement park!Copy !req
129. Yeah, but the heroes said you
have swings and a water-slide.Copy !req
130. No, I... Number one,
those are not rides.Copy !req
131. Those are both parts
of unfinished death-traps.Copy !req
132. And number two,
you can't come in!Copy !req
133. But I want to take a trip
through the tunnel of love.Copy !req
134. That's a room where
a spiked ceiling slowly lowersCopy !req
135. and crushes you to death.Copy !req
136. It's wicked romantic!Copy !req
137. It's not romantic, it's evil!Copy !req
138. You guys
been on the swings?Copy !req
139. You, stop telling people
the location
of my secret base.Copy !req
140. Come on, let us in.
We'll pay admission!Copy !req
141. This is not an amusement park.Copy !req
142. I am an evil super villain
and I...Copy !req
143. Will this be enough?Copy !req
144. Hmm.
They're giving me money.Copy !req
145. I could over-charge them
for admission and food.
That's kinda evil.Copy !req
146. Plus, I'm lying to them
and lying is evil.Copy !req
147. Yeah, amusement parks
are evil enough.
I can work with this.Copy !req
148. Step right up and get your
tickets for secret base land.Copy !req
149. Only, how much are you
willing to pay?Copy !req
150. Whatever you want.Copy !req
151. Well, double that
and come on in!Copy !req
152. Do you have one of those
machines that you put
in a dollar and a pennyCopy !req
153. and it crushes the penny
and it keeps the dollar?Copy !req
154. A machine that... That's so...Copy !req
155. That's something people want
in an amusement park?Copy !req
156. I'm standing on
shoulders of giants.Copy !req
157. Sea witch, I need your help.
My true love lives on land.Copy !req
158. And you want to be
turned human
so you can be with him?Copy !req
159. No, I've got a better idea.Copy !req
160. - That's the guy?
- What?Copy !req
161. Net him, sea witch.Copy !req
162. Thank you for taking
the time to come down
to vehicle safety.Copy !req
163. It's not often we get
a visit from the CEO
of the company.Copy !req
164. Well, I'm a very busy lady,
so show me what you got,
science guy.Copy !req
165. This machine is designed to
simulate an auto accidentCopy !req
166. so we can study the full
effect of a car crash.Copy !req
167. Using this crash-test dummy?Copy !req
168. Oh, boy. Uh, sorry. I don't
like it when people use
the term "dummy."Copy !req
169. Dummy implies a lack
of intelligence.Copy !req
170. But this anthropomorphic
crash-tester is a highly
specialized tool.Copy !req
171. Okay, I think you're
being a bit sensitive.Copy !req
172. No, this top of the line
analysis mannequin
is what's "sensitive."Copy !req
173. He is filled with
motion sensors.Copy !req
174. Listen, I don't know...Copy !req
175. No, you don't know,
do you?Copy !req
176. You didn't get to know him
at all before you labeled
him a dummy.Copy !req
177. You've never shared a meal
or had a conversation
with him.Copy !req
178. Can he do those things?Copy !req
179. You've never been invited
over for game night
with his family.Copy !req
180. You built him a wife and kids?Copy !req
181. Of course. The goal todayCopy !req
182. is to measure the effect
the crash will have
on the whole family.Copy !req
183. Nothing. The crash had
no effect on the family,
whatsoever.Copy !req
184. Not his parents,
not his co-workers.Copy !req
185. Not even his best friends.Copy !req
186. No matter how many
sensors I installed,Copy !req
187. I still can't seem to make
these dummies feel.Copy !req
188. Hey, hey, hey. Don't say that.
Remember what you
showed me here today?Copy !req
189. They're not dummies.Copy !req
190. Yeah, you're right.Copy !req
191. I'm the dummy.Copy !req
192. Dang it! You beat me to it.Copy !req
193. Welcome to
Secret Baseland.Copy !req
194. Entrance is $100
and ride tickets are $30,
but for $75 moreCopy !req
195. you can upgrade to
the year-round pass.Copy !req
196. Not usable on
weekends or holidays.Copy !req
197. Can I interest you on a photo?Copy !req
198. Are you the owner
of this place?Copy !req
199. I sure am.Copy !req
200. I'm the safety inspector
and I am shutting
you down now.Copy !req
201. Uh, there must be
some mistake.Copy !req
202. Your park is totally unsafe.
These rides are
all death-traps.Copy !req
203. No, they're not. I didn't
finish building them.Copy !req
204. Exactly. Everything is
dangerously unfinished!Copy !req
205. Nothing is up to code.
Look, look here.Copy !req
206. You plugged everything
into the same outlet.Copy !req
207. You're using a rusty vat
of boiling oil to fry things
without proper supervision.Copy !req
208. And there's an open
box of saws, right here
in the middle of the park.Copy !req
209. What? How long
has that been there?Copy !req
210. Was anyone going to tell me
my saws were delivered?
Anyone?Copy !req
211. Look, I may have cut
a few evil corners
here and there,Copy !req
212. but my park is perfectly fine.Copy !req
213. - What was that?
- What was what?Copy !req
214. Your Ferris Wheel
just rolled away.Copy !req
215. Hmm, that's crazy.Copy !req
216. Honestly, you couldn't have
made a more dangerous park
if you tried.Copy !req
217. I did try.Copy !req
218. Wait, that came out wrong.Copy !req
219. That's it. This park
is officially closed!Copy !req
220. Someone stop her.Copy !req
221. She's a maniac.Copy !req
222. Hold it right there, villain.Copy !req
223. Guys, that one actually
is a finished death-trap.Copy !req
224. You just launched her
into the sun.Copy !req
225. Yeah, she was
clearly a super-villain.Copy !req
226. Trying to stop our fun
with her evil ways.Copy !req
227. But I have a feeling
we haven't seen the last
of Safety Inspector.Copy !req
228. Mmm,
I'm pretty sure we have.Copy !req
229. - Wow! Thanks, everybody.Copy !req
230. Excuse me. I'm a record
executive and I was just
wandering aimlesslyCopy !req
231. around the boardwalk
in the middle of a Tuesday
when I heard your music.Copy !req
232. I'd like to offer you
a recording contract.Copy !req
233. Wow! This is
a dream come true!Copy !req
234. What? Not you, her.Copy !req
235. My left foot?Copy !req
236. Absolutely. I'm telling you.
She's a star!Copy !req
237. Did you see the way
the crowd reacted?
They love her!Copy !req
238. Well, I think they
like the whole song.Copy !req
239. That left foot is the real
money-maker.Copy !req
240. I've got to get her
under contract.Copy !req
241. Sorry, but I'm a one-man band.Copy !req
242. It's kind of an
"all or nothing" deal.Copy !req
243. Great.
You can all sign here.Copy !req
244. Everybody needs to sign!Copy !req
245. Oh.Copy !req
246. Excellent. Now let's go
make a hit record!Copy !req
247. This is all happening so fast.Copy !req
248. Right, uh-huh.Copy !req
249. Listen, why doesn't
the triangle-player ride
up front with me?Copy !req
250. I just wanna go over
some business.Copy !req
251. Sorry, but anything you have
to say to my left foot,
you can say to all of me.Copy !req
252. Like I said, "I'm a team.
I'll always be a team."Copy !req
253. Hey!Copy !req
254. Left foot, I thought...
I thought we were a team.Copy !req
255. I thought we were
all on equal footing.Copy !req
256. Oh, equal footing!
Because of the foot.Copy !req
257. In the center ring,Copy !req
258. the fabulous Russo Sisters.Copy !req
259. The trapeze artist family
who tonight for the
first time everCopy !req
260. will be performing
without a net.Copy !req
261. Yes, we are such amazing
gymnasts, we have no use
for a net at all.Copy !req
262. Michelle,
the oldest sister leaps
from the swing.Copy !req
263. - And is caught by Maureen,
the middle sister.Copy !req
264. And they both swing
high up into the air
to be safely caughtCopy !req
265. by the youngest sister,
Annette.Copy !req
266. - Wait.Copy !req
267. Where's Annette?
There's no Annette.Copy !req
268. They said they
don't need Annette,Copy !req
269. well, I don't
need them either.Copy !req
270. This ends here!Copy !req
271. It's just you and me now.Copy !req
272. And I'm going to put
a stop to your evil ways.Copy !req
273. I think not!Copy !req
274. See how you fare against
my army of undead warriors.Copy !req
275. - Okay.
- Right.Copy !req
276. Why aren't you scared?Copy !req
277. Well, you know,Copy !req
278. they're all skeletons.Copy !req
279. So, basically
what you're saying is,
you have to lose a battleCopy !req
280. before you can join your army?Copy !req
281. Like being bad at battle
is the main job requirement.
You see what I'm saying?Copy !req
282. I don't know,
I think I got this.Copy !req
283. Well,
that's not technically...Copy !req
284. Oh, how did this happen?Copy !req
285. Hold still.Copy !req
286. - Hold still, I said.Copy !req
287. Why you...Copy !req
288. Stupid...Copy !req
289. Phew!Copy !req
290. Oh, man.Copy !req
291. Hey, you're
the new kid, right?Copy !req
292. Yeah, I just moved to town.Copy !req
293. This class is great,
but I could warn you.Copy !req
294. Watch out
for the teacher's pet.Copy !req
295. He's the worst. The teacher
lets him grade the papers even
though he can barely read.Copy !req
296. Wait, is that him?Copy !req
297. No, the teacher's pet is
always screaming his lungs out
in the middle of classCopy !req
298. - for no reason.
- Oh.Copy !req
299. Is it him?Copy !req
300. No, the teacher's petCopy !req
301. has bugs in his hair and
bites people and he has
to wear a diaper.Copy !req
302. I get it. The teacher's pet
is an actual pet.Copy !req
303. It's this monkey.Copy !req
304. No, it's me!Copy !req
305. Ow! Then, why is there
a trained monkey in here?Copy !req
306. Oh, it's not
trained, it's wild.Copy !req
307. What the...
What are you doing?Copy !req
308. This isn't what we rehearsed.Copy !req
309. Thanks, everyone. We're going
to take a quick intermission.Copy !req
310. What was that? You think you
can just hog the spotlight?Copy !req
311. We are a team. Ever since
you starred in that movie,Copy !req
312. you've really been
full of yourself.Copy !req
313. Hey! Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
314. Stop that!
Come on, no... Ow!Copy !req
315. Come on, no!Copy !req
316. Ow, I almost had you.Copy !req
317. - What's going on in here?
Bring the foot!Copy !req
318. My left foot's turn
into a real diva.Copy !req
319. - She thinks...
- Save it.Copy !req
320. The crowd's getting
antsy. Where's the foot?Copy !req
321. Fine! Fine, yeah. If you can't
tow the line, then hop
on a train and shoo.Copy !req
322. I knew you weren't
the right foot, left foot.Copy !req
323. Well, great.
There goes our star.Copy !req
324. Now all I got is you.
What're we gonna do now?Copy !req
325. We don't need her.Copy !req
326. Right foot's been practicing
the keyboard solo.Copy !req
327. Show her what you've
been working on, right foot.Copy !req
328. Oh, right foot.Copy !req
329. You said you needed that
money for keyboard lessons.Copy !req
330. It's the bottom
of the ninth and the home
team is down 10-2.Copy !req
331. It would take a miracle
to turn this game around.Copy !req
332. Wait a minute, it looks like
the manager is sending in
Miracle Molly.Copy !req
333. This hotshot rookie always
hits it out of the park.Copy !req
334. But they're down by eight.
One home run isn't
enough to win.Copy !req
335. Never mind. Home team wins!Copy !req
336. Home team wins because
that counts for some reason.Copy !req
337. Mirror, mirror by my hand.Copy !req
338. Who is the fairest
in all the land?Copy !req
339. My queen you are quite fair,
it's true.Copy !req
340. But the princess is
a 1,000 times
more fair than you.Copy !req
341. The princess?Copy !req
342. Yes, I suppose she's fairer
in a traditional sort of way.Copy !req
343. Ah, but who is the most
elegant in all the land?Copy !req
344. My queen the most elegant
in all the land isCopy !req
345. the princess.Copy !req
346. Oh, yeah.
She is pouring tea.Copy !req
347. Yeah, I guess that's
kind of elegant, whatever.Copy !req
348. Ah, okay, let's try this one.Copy !req
349. Who is the coolest
in all the land?Copy !req
350. The princess.Copy !req
351. Who's the best dancer?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
352. The princess.Copy !req
353. - Maybe we should stop.
- No!Copy !req
354. Who wears my royal queen
regalia the best?Copy !req
355. - The princess.
- While sitting on my throneCopy !req
356. and spinning a basketball
on one finger and dancing
better than before.Copy !req
357. Hold on, let me break it down.Copy !req
358. Huh, yeah. What?Copy !req
359. Did she sneak in here
and sit on my throne?Copy !req
360. When did that happen?Copy !req
361. Look, just let this go.Copy !req
362. I can't! Oh, who can't let go
of things the best out of
anyone, in all the land?Copy !req
363. - That sentence was gibberish.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
364. How about this?
Who is the most dangerousCopy !req
365. and evil ruler
in all the land?Copy !req
366. The princess.
Finally, I've...
What? She is?Copy !req
367. Yeah, did you not see her
wearing your crown and
sitting on your throne?Copy !req
368. That girl is coming for you.Copy !req
369. Is that my door?Copy !req
370. When did that happen?Copy !req
371. Come out, you coward,
and face your maker.Copy !req
372. Mirror, mirror, by my hand.Copy !req
373. Where should I hide?Copy !req
374. That's your cue.Copy !req
375. Ugh. You're supposed
to step on the pedal.Copy !req
376. All right, I've seen enough.Copy !req
377. Thanks for auditioning,
okay. We'll call you.
Go on, beat it.Copy !req
378. Who's next?Copy !req
379. Next? There's nobody next.Copy !req
380. That's it. We've tried
turtle foot, bucket foot,
football foot,Copy !req
381. banana peel foot, sock full
of doorknobs foot,
that's it.Copy !req
382. We're done and so are you!
And so am I!Copy !req
383. I'm out of here.
Good luck being a one-man
band all by yourself.Copy !req
384. So, that's it. My dream of
being a one-man band is over.Copy !req
385. And all I have to show for it
is a missing foot and
a useless Master's degree.Copy !req
386. ♪ My mouth
can blow the trumpetCopy !req
387. Left foot!Copy !req
388. You came back.
Oh, I could kiss you.Copy !req
389. No, ow, no I can't.Copy !req
390. Oh, left foot. What do you say
we forget about the moneyCopy !req
391. and go back to making
music for fun?Copy !req
392. Aw, you said it.Copy !req
393. I'll never understand how
they could just walk away
from all that money.Copy !req
394. I'm serious, how does
the foot walk around?
I don't understand.Copy !req
395. Yeah, doesn't matter. I made
that foot a star and I could
do it again with a turtle.Copy !req
396. All the foot ever did
was step on a pedal.Copy !req
397. Anyone can step on a pedal.Copy !req
398. Isn't that right,
sock full of doorknobs?Copy !req
399. You're gonna wanna
make a left up here.Copy !req