1. The aliens have taken over
the center of town.Copy !req
2. Our weapons are useless
against them.Copy !req
3. We need a plan,
or else the Earth is doomed.Copy !req
4. Mr. President,
you need to hear this.Copy !req
5. This little girl says she's
made friends with the aliens.Copy !req
6. I lost my ball, but thene alien,
and then we played ball.Copy !req
7. What? I don't have
time for this.Copy !req
8. I threw the ball
and they caught the ballCopy !req
9. and then they
threw the ball back.Copy !req
10. Yes! We all know
how "Ball" works.Copy !req
11. Sir, I know it sounds crazy,Copy !req
12. but this little girl
sees something that we can't.Copy !req
13. She sees that the aliens
are not so different from us,Copy !req
14. and maybe, just maybe,
she can bring us together,Copy !req
15. humans and aliens,
with the innocence of a child.Copy !req
16. They've left us no choice.Copy !req
17. I have to give the order
that no commander
ever wants to give.Copy !req
18. Send in the little girl.Copy !req
19. The little girl
is approaching the saucer.Copy !req
20. She's talking to the aliens.Copy !req
21. The aliens are listening.Copy !req
22. It's actually working.Copy !req
23. Now the aliens are
talking to the little girl.Copy !req
24. Huh!
The little girl is listening.Copy !req
25. The little girl
is switching sides!Copy !req
26. And she's telling them
all of our secrets!Copy !req
27. Why did you tell her
all our secrets?Copy !req
28. And they cut our power.Copy !req
29. Oh, man! Kids, right?
They grow up so fast.Copy !req
30. - What does that even mean?
- I don't know.Copy !req
31. I'm like still sort of
in shock over that whole
"She betrayed humanity" thing.Copy !req
32. I tell ya, she's got
a strong right hand.Copy !req
33. But her left hand is as soft
as I've ever seen.Copy !req
34. Soft left hand,
that's too bad,Copy !req
35. guess she'll never
be champion.Copy !req
36. Are you kidding?
She's never lost a fight!Copy !req
37. Ah!Copy !req
38. Wait, do that again.Copy !req
39. You asked for it!Copy !req
40. My hook's even softer
than my jab.Copy !req
41. Mmm, again.Copy !req
42. So soft, so comfy.Copy !req
43. Ow! Why you...Copy !req
44. Soft little cozy...Copy !req
45. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
46. - Ow.Copy !req
47. Okay, all right,
back to your corners.Copy !req
48. No!Copy !req
49. Five more minutes, please.Copy !req
50. Ooh, you've crossed me
for the last time,
Agent Hardy.Copy !req
51. Let me introduce you
to my tankfulCopy !req
52. of hungry, ravenous sharks.Copy !req
53. I have denied the sharks
food for weeks,Copy !req
54. building up
their mindless hunger,
just for this moment.Copy !req
55. The instant I drop you in,
these famished creaturesCopy !req
56. will devour you whole.Copy !req
57. Uh, how long
did you say it's been
since you fed these sharks?Copy !req
58. Not, uh...Copy !req
59. Not that long.Copy !req
60. Weeks, right? It was weeks?Copy !req
61. Um...Copy !req
62. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
63. I, William Tell,
will now shoot an apple
off a man's head.Copy !req
64. Fear not,
I'm the best marksman
ever to live.Copy !req
65. Even smaller!Copy !req
66. A peanut! Tiny peanut.Copy !req
67. Maybe you all
didn't see that one.Copy !req
68. It's okay.
Let's see I've got more...Copy !req
69. Another apple!Copy !req
70. It's so white!Copy !req
71. The inside
is a different color.Copy !req
72. - Huh?Copy !req
73. The apple! The apple!Copy !req
74. Apple!Copy !req
75. Oh, man!Copy !req
76. Wow, Will, these people
really love apples.Copy !req
77. The horses, get the horses.
We need to leave. Now.Copy !req
78. - What?
- Run! Dump the apples!Copy !req
79. I love apples so much!Copy !req
80. Blast it!Copy !req
81. The university's enlarging ray
has made the ants giant
and impervious to our weapons.Copy !req
82. If we don't think
of something fast,Copy !req
83. this whole town
will be one big anthill.Copy !req
84. Sir, you won't believe it.Copy !req
85. This little boy has a way
of defeating the ants.Copy !req
86. Yeah, you get
a magnifying glass
and you burn 'em up...Copy !req
87. Pow! Zap! Burn!Copy !req
88. I... I don't think...Copy !req
89. I know it sounds crazy,
but I've got a plan.Copy !req
90. - This innocent child...
- Whammo!Copy !req
91. - This innocent child...
- Sizzle, sizzle.Copy !req
92. Really doesn't seem
so innocent.Copy !req
93. This sweet, sweet boy
has seen something we can't.Copy !req
94. He knows things
we've forgotten,Copy !req
95. like how to fry ants
with a magnifying glass.Copy !req
96. Okay, we didn't forget
how to do that.Copy !req
97. We stopped
because it's messed up.Copy !req
98. And if we can find it
within ourselves to use
the enlarging ray on the boyCopy !req
99. and give him
a giant magnifying glass,Copy !req
100. maybe, just maybe,
he'll defeat the ants.Copy !req
101. Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I got nothing else.Copy !req
102. All right.
The little boy
is enlarged now.Copy !req
103. He's using
the magnifying glass.Copy !req
104. It's working!
He's defeating the ants!Copy !req
105. Now he's burning the town.Copy !req
106. And he's turning
the magnifying glass on us.Copy !req
107. Huh! Children, right?
They are the future.Copy !req
108. Why did you say that?Copy !req
109. 'Cause it would be
really funny to say,
"Kids grow up so fast,"Copy !req
110. but I already said that
last time.Copy !req
111. Yeah. Yeah, that is
one of the things
you've done wrong recently.Copy !req
112. Now remember, honey,
don't tell anyone your wish
or it won't come true.Copy !req
113. What did you wish for?Copy !req
114. I wished that I was
a tiny, unsuccessful pushover.Copy !req
115. Wow!Copy !req
116. It didn't come true.Copy !req
117. When I hired you
to build me
a solid gold palace,Copy !req
118. the queen and all my advisers
told me it was impossible.Copy !req
119. Why, my jester
even laughed at me.Copy !req
120. But now look who's laughing
in a solid gold palace.Copy !req
121. Yes, m'lord.Copy !req
122. A gold banister
on my gold stairs.Copy !req
123. A gold torch
in my gold sconce.Copy !req
124. A gold handle on my gold door.Copy !req
125. I even have
a gold iron maiden.Copy !req
126. Can I come out now?Copy !req
127. - Did you laugh at me?
- Yes, but...Copy !req
128. You did well, master builder.Copy !req
129. Buying all this gold
took every last piece
of treasure I had,Copy !req
130. but it was worth it.Copy !req
131. About that, my liege,
when will I be receiving
my payment?Copy !req
132. I uh, uh,
don't have any more money.Copy !req
133. Spent it on all this gold.Copy !req
134. Pleasure doing business
with you, Your Majesty.Copy !req
135. Sire, I have the food
you requestedCopy !req
136. for the banquet to celebrate
your new, solid gold palace.Copy !req
137. Here.
- Thank you, sire.Copy !req
138. Sire, this may not be
the best time,Copy !req
139. but I actually
haven't been paid recently.Copy !req
140. - Just take it.
- Great, thanks.Copy !req
141. The evil identical children
have taken over the town
and our weapons are useless!Copy !req
142. Ugh! Why did we
even buy those tanks?
They are just the worst.Copy !req
143. Sir, we're saved!Copy !req
144. - I'm going to stop you
right there.
- But...Copy !req
145. Remember when
there were those aliensCopy !req
146. and you said we should trust
an innocent little girl?Copy !req
147. - Vaguely.
- Okay, yeah,Copy !req
148. and the little girl
attacked us.Copy !req
149. It totally backfired.Copy !req
150. And then those
giant ants happened.Copy !req
151. Remember what you said
we should do about them?Copy !req
152. Trust an innocent child,
two...Copy !req
153. Yes, yes, burn the ants
with a magnifying glass.Copy !req
154. - But he kept burning things,
didn't he?
- Look, sir.Copy !req
155. Maybe it's not the children
that were innocent.
Maybe I'm the innocent one.Copy !req
156. And I see something
in those kids
that no one else can.Copy !req
157. Or maybe you're incompetent
and terrible at this job.Copy !req
158. Anyway, I found a little girl
who says the evil children
are just misunderstood.Copy !req
159. I know it sounds crazy,
but this innocent child...Copy !req
160. Da-da-da!
Quick, quick question.Copy !req
161. - Okay.
- Real quick question.Copy !req
162. This little girl,
she wouldn't, by any chance,Copy !req
163. be one of the evil,
identical children, would she?Copy !req
164. You know, one of the ones
we're fighting, like...
Like, right now.Copy !req
165. Uh... I don't know
about that one.Copy !req
166. - I'll ask her.
- You go ask her.Copy !req
167. - Excuse me, are you...Copy !req
168. - She got me!Copy !req
169. This is the last of our food.Copy !req
170. A sandwich, couple of carrots,
and a turnip.Copy !req
171. We'll divide it up evenly
to be fair.Copy !req
172. Well, is dividing it evenly
really fair?Copy !req
173. Yes, that's literally
the only fair way to do it.Copy !req
174. But wouldn't one of us
need more food
than the other twoCopy !req
175. if they, say,
had things a lot worse?Copy !req
176. We're all shipwrecked, Lewis!Copy !req
177. But I was shipwreckedCopy !req
178. and my girlfriend dumped me!Copy !req
179. Just because you had
a bad breakup,Copy !req
180. doesn't mean you get
a bigger food ration.Copy !req
181. But it was
a really bad breakup.Copy !req
182. And food is the only thing
that eases my heartache.Copy !req
183. It's irrelevant.Copy !req
184. But I'm the only one
on this lifeboat
who gave his heart to someone.Copy !req
185. And she crushed it!Copy !req
186. We already gave you
the extra sunscreen,
so you wouldn't get sunburned.Copy !req
187. Like I was burned by love?Copy !req
188. Yeah, that's what you said.Copy !req
189. Ugh, look, maybe he'll
stop whining if we give
him an extra carrot.Copy !req
190. I can't!
Rebecca was a redhead.Copy !req
191. Carrots bring up
too many painful memories.Copy !req
192. And I don't like turnips!Copy !req
193. But the only thing left
is the sandwich.Copy !req
194. Gimme, gimme, gimme.Copy !req
195. Look, we'll only
give it to you
if you help us paddle.Copy !req
196. Fine!Copy !req
197. Sunscreen made my hands
all greasy.Copy !req
198. How could our lives
get any worse?Copy !req
199. You know what, guys?Copy !req
200. I know it looks bad,Copy !req
201. but before you start
moping and complaining
about your situationCopy !req
202. just remember,
I still kinda have it worse.Copy !req
203. Ugh!Copy !req
204. Crunchy peanut butter?Copy !req
205. No thanks.Copy !req
206. Sorry to cut
your retirement short,
but the world needs your help.Copy !req
207. What do you say?
Will you suit up
one last time?Copy !req
208. Let's do this.Copy !req
209. - Whoa, what was that?
- What was what?Copy !req
210. That glove.
That was too many gloves.Copy !req
211. Belt, glove, glove,
boots, glove...Copy !req
212. Oh, yeah, you're right.
That was three gloves.
What gives?Copy !req
213. I don't know
what you're talking aboutCopy !req
214. and I don't got time
to figure it out.Copy !req
215. Now if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
216. I got some suiting up to do.Copy !req
217. Four gloves!
That was your fourth glove.Copy !req
218. Everybody be quiet!
I can't do this
because you're talking.Copy !req
219. I need to concentrate.Copy !req
220. Stop. Just stop.Copy !req
221. No, uh, there was a kneepad
in there, wasn't there?Copy !req
222. - All gloves.
- All gloves?Copy !req
223. Nothing but gloves.Copy !req
224. Okay, okay, no, no, no,
I know what I did,
I know what I did.Copy !req
225. - See this time...
- Know what?
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
226. Yeah, man,
we can save this city
on our own.Copy !req
227. Sorry to bother you.Copy !req
228. Well, that's that.Copy !req
229. I guess all that's left to do
is suit down.Copy !req
230. Let's do this.Copy !req
231. I beg your pardon, my lady.Copy !req
232. But you are
the most beautiful maiden
I have ever beheld.Copy !req
233. Pray tell, what is your name?Copy !req
234. Tell me and I will write
a song about youCopy !req
235. that will be sung
throughout the ages.Copy !req
236. Of course.Copy !req
237. My name isCopy !req
238. - And what's your name?
- Sue.Copy !req
239. Your name is Sue,Copy !req
240. it's true, how do you do,
your eyes are blue,
you have one shoe.Copy !req
241. Yeah, that works.Copy !req
242. - Sorry.
- Hmph!Copy !req
243. All right, people.Copy !req
244. I promised my subjects that
we'll have a working genie
by the year 10.Copy !req
245. What have you got for me?Copy !req
246. Oh, mighty Sultan!Copy !req
247. We have not
been able to make
a fully functioning genie,Copy !req
248. but we have some prototypes
that we're very excited about.Copy !req
249. Let's see 'em.Copy !req
250. Mine's not so much a genieCopy !req
251. as it is a cloud
that sometimes spits out
food you want.Copy !req
252. Hmm, hmm, what's it do
the rest of the time?Copy !req
253. It spits out food
you don't want.Copy !req
254. Interesting. Let's see
if we can up the ratio
of good food to bad food.Copy !req
255. My prototype genie
has made it to the stageCopy !req
256. where you rub the lamp
and it comes out of the lamp.Copy !req
257. Then what happens?Copy !req
258. Then it makes you go
inside the lamp.Copy !req
259. Is it nice in the lamp?Copy !req
260. No, it is not.Copy !req
261. Let's see if it's possible
to not go inside the lamp,Copy !req
262. or if not, then let's
make the lamp nicer.Copy !req
263. My genie
can grant half a wish.Copy !req
264. What's half a wish?Copy !req
265. Well, you make the wish,Copy !req
266. but then
you don't get it granted.Copy !req
267. I guess I'm saying
it doesn't grant
wishes at all.Copy !req
268. Hmm, well, it's a start,
let's fire it up.Copy !req
269. Time to go
in the lamp.Copy !req
270. Oh, no!
That's the, "Makes you go
in the lamp" genie.Copy !req
271. It isn't so bad
inside the lamp.Copy !req
272. Well,
did you look over there?Copy !req
273. Oh, no, I hadn't.
That's awful.
I hate it in here.Copy !req
274. I did it!Copy !req
275. I finished the shelter.Copy !req
276. And I caught dinner.Copy !req
277. Three fish,
one for each of us.Copy !req
278. Aren't you forgetting
about someone?Copy !req
279. We're not giving you
any more extra foodCopy !req
280. just because
we feel bad for you.Copy !req
281. There's three fish
and three of us.Copy !req
282. What about my girlfriend?Copy !req
283. Uh, Rebecca
isn't on the island.Copy !req
284. Not my ex-girlfriend,
Rebecca.Copy !req
285. My new girlfriend Rebecca Two!Copy !req
286. What?Copy !req
287. I'm so over that old Rebecca.Copy !req
288. Where did you get
all those coconuts?Copy !req
289. Can we eat some?Copy !req
290. No! Put those down!
That's Rebecca Two.Copy !req
291. Please share
some of those coconuts,
you have so many.Copy !req
292. No! Rebecca Two
is a real personCopy !req
293. with real feelings
who really loves me.Copy !req
294. Ah, nuts.Copy !req
295. All right, Lewis,Copy !req
296. we'll give you two fish
if you agree to build a fire.Copy !req
297. Totally!
I can build a great fire.Copy !req
298. Are you crazy?
We can't give him
an extra fish.Copy !req
299. Hey, relax, okay,
it'll take him all day
to collect enough firewood,Copy !req
300. and while he's gone,
we can help ourselves
to as many coconuts as we...Copy !req
301. All finished!Copy !req
302. How did you do that so fast?Copy !req
303. Hey, where did the shelter go?Copy !req
304. No! No, no, no, no!
The shelter!Copy !req
305. Here you go, my lady.Copy !req
306. What's that, babe?
You don't like fish?Copy !req
307. - Ha!
- Why did you do that?Copy !req
308. We like fish!Copy !req
309. You know, I never believed it
until I met Rebecca Two,
but it really is really true.Copy !req
310. There are plenty of fish
in the sea.Copy !req
311. Oh, and one more
by this rock. Ha!Copy !req
312. Ladies and gentlemen,
our product is selling well,
but it needs a new look.Copy !req
313. Our old mascot
just isn't cool anymore.Copy !req
314. Bessa the Cow
is old-fashioned,
she's boring.Copy !req
315. We need something edgy,
something cool.Copy !req
316. Meet our new mascot.
A vampire bat.Copy !req
317. We're going to be
the coolest looking product
on the shelf, man.Copy !req
318. Uh, do you think
anyone's going to get confusedCopy !req
319. and think we're selling
bat milk?Copy !req
320. What? Nah! Ha! No way!Copy !req
321. I mean, wait till you see
these posters.Copy !req
322. Nah. No, they must have
sent us the wrong ones.Copy !req
323. These all say
"Out of Business,"Copy !req
324. Oh, well! That was fast.Copy !req
325. Just a minute!Copy !req
326. What?Copy !req
327. Hey, there have been
some complaints from
some of the other astronautsCopy !req
328. about your living quarters.Copy !req
329. Oh, was it Timtam?Copy !req
330. Because that monkey
has no room to talk.
Her cage is filthy.Copy !req
331. It wasn't Timtam.
It was all the humans.Copy !req
332. Okay. All right. Whatev.
Yeah. Okay. You know. Yeah.Copy !req
333. My room may look crazy messy,
but you know what? It's not.Copy !req
334. It's an organized chaos.
I know where everything is.Copy !req
335. Oh. Organized chaos. Right.Copy !req
336. Is this half-eaten apple
part of your organized chaos?Copy !req
337. Uh, doy!
Of course, it is.
Give... Give me that.Copy !req
338. Stop it...
That's disgusting.Copy !req
339. Nuh-uh, it's still so good.Copy !req
340. - Mmm-hmm?
- Mmm.Copy !req
341. It's not just the mess.Copy !req
342. There's a lot of ways
you're not being respectfulCopy !req
343. of other people who live
in this space station.Copy !req
344. Oh, okay, name one.Copy !req
345. Jeff says you keep
eating his lunch
without asking.Copy !req
346. I never touched his lunch.Copy !req
347. Also, you play your music
too loud.Copy !req
348. That's not true.Copy !req
349. And look at the escape pod,
it's filled with garbage!Copy !req
350. What if we need to escape?Copy !req
351. Fine! Whatever!
You want me
to get rid of the trash?Copy !req
352. There! Problem solved.Copy !req
353. Timtam,Copy !req
354. making progress, right?Copy !req
355. Well, that was our last pod.
So...Copy !req
356. That's bad.Copy !req
357. - Look, the coast guard.
- We're saved!Copy !req
358. Ugh! Why does everything bad
always happen to me?Copy !req
359. What? What is it now?Copy !req
360. What problem
could you possibly haveCopy !req
361. with being rescued
by the coast guard?Copy !req
362. It's just that...Copy !req
363. Lewis, is that you?Copy !req
364. Hello, Rebecca,
you're looking well.Copy !req
365. Lewis, you look
malnourished and...Copy !req
366. I was trying to keep
things civil, Rebecca,Copy !req
367. but clearly,
you're not capable of that.Copy !req
368. Uh, I just meant
that we need to get you
all back to the mainland.Copy !req
369. - Thank you so much.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
370. Yeah, thanks, but no thanks.
We don't need you
any more, Rebecca.Copy !req
371. Yes, we do!Copy !req
372. We're doing just fine,
now that we're on our own.Copy !req
373. I have everything I need,
right here on this island.Copy !req
374. These guys are my rocks.Copy !req
375. And those rocks are my girl.Copy !req
376. Coconuts aren't rocks.Copy !req
377. She does too!
And we've learned to live
just fine without you.Copy !req
378. So you don't want
to be rescued?Copy !req
379. That's right!Copy !req
380. So just go back
on your little boat...Copy !req
381. No! Stop it! Enough!Copy !req
382. We do want to be rescued.Copy !req
383. After all that's happened,
everything I've been through,Copy !req
384. and how much worse
I've had it than you,Copy !req
385. you're going to dump me?Copy !req
386. Just like she did?Copy !req
387. - Yup.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
388. Who needs 'em?Copy !req
389. It's me and you, Rebecca Two,
me and you forever.Copy !req