Right Now Kapow 1x1

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In the series premiere, a series of monsters fall down. A woman drops her pizza. A pharaoh puts friendship to the test. A reporter meets a giraffe. A teacher is rewarded for her years of service. A wizard throws a dinner party.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Look, it's the President.

2. My fellow citizens, people of the world,

3. the sun has risen on a new day.

4. And we, we are still here.

5. When that giant monster first climbed out of the water,

6. we were surprised.

7. When it began destroying our cities,

8. we were scared.

9. Yet we did not run. We did not hide.

10. We came together, friend and enemy alike

11. - and said with one voice... Look!

12. Another monster.

13. What?

14. All right, I guess my victory speech will have to be continued.

15. But rest assured that it will be continued.

16. Because we will triumph again.

17. It'll take more than one monster to stop us.

18. Two. - Right, yes.

19. Two total, but I meant...

20. One, as in there's one, currently only ...

21. There's one attacking right now.

22. But, you know what, it doesn't matter.

23. Let's just focus on beating this monster, all right?

24. Man, I'm tired of living in my older brother's shadow.

25. He's so cool. I just can't compete.

26. Um, I don't know, man.

27. Honestly, your older brother is not that cool.

28. No, I know my brother's not cool.

29. I said my brother's shadow.

30. Yeah!

31. We love you, shadow.

32. Shadow! Shadow! Shadow!

33. Shadow! Sha...

34. Huh?

35. Shadow! Shadow! Shadow!

36. Aw! My pizza.

37. - It's ruined now. - No, it's not.

38. As long as you pick it up within five seconds, it's fine.

39. - Really? - Yeah.

40. That's the five-second rule.

41. So as long as I pick up my food in five seconds,

42. - I can do anything I want? - What?

43. What a perfect day.

44. And I still get to eat my pizza.

45. Yeah, I know there's an eyeball,

46. but it's okay to eat because I always picked it up within five seconds.

47. Help me!

48. Round one. Fight.

49. K.O.

50. Round two. Fight.

51. Uh, round two. Fight!

52. Round two. Fight?

53. I don't think that's happening.

54. But it's round two. Yeah.

55. Round two. Fight!

56. Should I be doing something here?

57. Is there someone I should call?

58. It is round two, right?

59. All right, so, round two. Fight!

60. Yeah, thank you. We all know what round it is.

61. - Round... - ... Two, yes, we get it.

62. It's round two and we should fight.

63. But that's clearly not happening, so now what?

64. Round two, fight! - You know,

65. I'd change my tune if I were you.

66. This is kind of your fault.

67. - My fault? - Uh, yeah.

68. Who do you think it was telling us to "fight" all the time.

69. No, no.

70. I'm... I'm just the guy who says, "Player two has entered the game".

71. In fact, I probably should go do that.

72. - O... Okay, bye!

73. - Hey, you can't just leave. Get back here.

74. Hello?

75. Player one has left the game.

76. Oh, shoot, that's me.

77. Okay, sorry, bye.

78. All right, way to go, everybody. Good job.

79. All right, now, where was I?

80. Citizens of the world, blah-blah-blah, we're surprised.

81. Scared. Uh... Uh...

82. Did I talk about the friends and enemies coming together?

83. Did I do that line? I did? Okay.

84. Oh, here we are. We said with one voice,

85. as one people, we will not succumb,

86. no matter how the end may come, be inspired

87. - in ice or even in... - Another monster.

88. You gotta be kidding me.

89. How many of them are down there?

90. I mean, it's really getting old. I'm serious.

91. Well, let's go defeat this monster, too, I guess.

92. Again and it'll take more than...

93. - I don't know, how many are we at? Three.

94. three monsters to stop us.

95. Yeah, yeah. Whoo-hoo. Okay.

96. I get it. Let's just get this over with.

97. Go on. Go. Get going!

98. I can't believe we're really here.

99. I can't believe we get to go inside

100. the zipper factory.

101. Welcome, children.

102. Huh! Looks like it's got some fabric jammed in there.

103. Here, this should...

104. Come on, you stupid zipper...

105. Go away now.

106. There. We've laid the pharaoh to rest in accordance with his wishes.

107. May he find peace in the afterlife.

108. Indeed. Farewell, Master.

109. Uh, not so fast, guys, there's more.

110. It says here the pharaoh wants to be joined

111. by his most loyal servant in the tomb

112. for eternity.

113. Hey, I mean, you're pretty loyal, right?

114. - Yeah, I mean, you worked for him the longest. - Yes.

115. - Come on. - What! No, me?

116. No, no.

117. I mean, yes, I worked for him the longest, yeah, but not...

118. I'm not the most loyal.

119. I'm the least loyal. I'm, like, so not loyal.

120. You remember that time his headdress went missing?

121. No.

122. Yup, it was me.

123. We were frienemies at best.

124. If anything, you're the most loyal. He loved you, man.

125. I'm so jealous. I'm so sorry for your loss.

126. No, no, no, no, absolutely not.

127. I was not loyal to him at all, okay? I mean...

128. Look, he told me to make him look handsome on his sarcophagus,

129. but, hey, check this out, huh?

130. Uh-da.

131. I'm the pharaoh. Dork-a, dork-a, dork.

132. Uh, so, yeah, I was a pretty terrible servant all around.

133. - You two were tight. - Oh, yeah.

134. What? Not even.

135. You remember when he got that new chariot he was super proud of?

136. The next day, I got an even better chariot

137. just 'cause I knew it would make him mad.

138. One time, I told him his sandals were super cute

139. even though they super weren't.

140. I accidentally broke the head off his goddess statue

141. then I just stuck an animal head up there

142. and told him it was always like that.

143. I kissed Samantha down by the temple even though I knew he liked her.

144. - A-ha! - Oh, no!

145. - Oh, man! - I knew it.

146. I knew I couldn't trust you guys.

147. You were supposed to be my BFFs forevz

148. and I had to fake this whole thing just to get the truth.

149. Well. Well, well, well.

150. - Now I know who my real friends are. - But, Pharaoh...

151. Nuh-uh. Nope. I'm over you guys.

152. Um, this was really elaborate.

153. You made us mummify you.

154. Yeah, like, we, like, I took your brains out of your nose.

155. You okay?

156. Oh, don't try and act like my friend now.

157. And don't worry about my brains.

158. There's plenty more where it came that from...

159. Where that brain from, okay?

160. Brains.

161. - Ah!

162. Whatever. Worth it.

163. Yeah, yeah.

164. - Good. - Cool.

165. Hey!

166. Are you gonna say something?

167. So can we just...

168. So can we...

169. Yep, I knew it.

170. Okay, I'm done.

171. No, it's not worth it. No, monsters can just have the world, all right?

172. Let's see how they like being president.

173. Spend a bunch of time coming up with a victory speech

174. then nobody gets to hear it.

175. You know, it was a really good speech too.

176. This guy, you, you especially would have gone nuts for the ending.

177. Like, just nuts. But no. No more speech.

178. Aw, come on, don't be like that.

179. You can still do it. We still wanna hear it.

180. Come on, don't we, guys?

181. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're not just saying that?

182. - Yeah. - Yes, we would like to hear it. Please, give a speech.

183. Okay, all right. Well, maybe I'll just do the very end.

184. Okay, obviously, if I was doing the speech for real,

185. I would've just built up...

186. Okay, okay. Move it along.

187. Okay, okay, you're right.

188. Ladies and...

189. Brave adventurers,

190. now that you've finished your meal,

191. let us discuss why you were summoned.

192. - Eagles!

193. Oh, I'm not done with...

194. And now the eagle has it.

195. You must secure the ancient goblet of Grazahan,

196. for the fate of the kingdom rests on its retrieval.

197. To aid you in this quest, I have gifted you each a magical artifact

198. that you will find under your chairs.

199. The mystic sword of Kilgar.

200. The fabled bow of Limhaya.

201. Ooh...

202. A stick with a rock on it.

203. What? No, that's the mighty staff of the Dilpulden.

204. Oh, that's cool too.

205. Born of the most ancient of magics,

206. and forged with hellfire

207. that has long since vanished from this earth.

208. - These artifacts are... Uh...

209. There's nothing under my chair.

210. Oh, right, there are four of you.

211. - Did you not know that? - What?

212. Of course I knew that. I'm...

213. I'm a great wizard. You saw the eagles.

214. I knew there were four adventurers

215. and so I got four gifts.

216. So, there's no gift under my chair because...

217. Because the chair is your gift.

218. Yes, yes, that was always my plan.

219. That chair is a magic chair.

220. Oh, what's magic about it?

221. Uh, you know, lots of things.

222. Uh... You can... Eagles!

223. See them out!

224. Fare thee well, brave adventurers!

225. Oh, I wish I hadn't given him my chair.

226. You're watching Channel 4. Chopper News.

227. Other news teams only have a traffic chopper.

228. But at Chopper News, every department

229. has a helicopter,

230. with Andrea Gutierrez in the anchor chopper.

231. Good evening and welcome to Chopper News.

232. Our top story tonight, the big baseball game.

233. For that we go to Tom Pitburg in the sports chopper.

234. Tom.

235. Thanks, Andrea. The sun is shining

236. and the crowd is ready for some baseball.

237. Unfortunately, the game has been delayed.

238. Yes, the players are just standing on the field, waving and yelling at me.

239. I'll have more as the story develops.

240. Thanks, Tom.

241. Now with a film review, let's go to our critic,

242. Eugene Mendel in the movie chopper.

243. Today's film was an action-packed thrill ride

244. that's fun for the whole family.

245. Although I couldn't hear a word of it.

246. I give it four helicopters.

247. And now, Sophie Sanders in the human interest chopper

248. brings us a fun story about the local zoo's newest resident.

249. The world's tallest giraffe.

250. Sophie!

251. Something really bad happened.

252. So you been in here for five days or something?

253. Nah, man, nah. That's my escape plan.

254. Doctor, are you all right?

255. This is gonna sound like a silly question,

256. but I spaced out for a second there.

257. That... Was I putting this organ in or taking it out?

258. Well, I don't know. I thought you knew.

259. I just blanked tonight. I can't remember.

260. Well, here's a cooler full of ice.

261. You're probably supposed to put the organ in here.

262. Unless I just took the organ out from there.

263. I'm just gonna wake him up and ask.

264. You can't do that!

265. Well, I'm doing it, so, you know...

266. Uh...

267. Excuse me, sir, hi.

268. Listen, you're in the middle of surgery.

269. Everything is going great, trust me.

270. But, I kind of spaced out for a second there

271. and, listen,

272. was I supposed to put this organ in or take it out?

273. - You're taking it out. - Oh, good.

274. 'Cause I definitely dropped it on the ground when you started screaming.

275. Ha-ha! Back, beast, or taste the sting of my blade.

276. - Ya-ha!

277. Ha-ha!

278. My arrow's flight seals your fate.

279. - Ah!

280. Eat rock-stick, you dumb thing.

281. - Yay! - Ha-ha.

282. Huzzah! We did it.

283. Stupid chair.

284. Almost there. Lot of steps.

285. Level up!

286. What did I miss?

287. The sword of Kilgar has gained

288. Flame Strike.

289. The bow of Limhaya

290. has gained Lightning Blast.

291. The staff of Dilpulden has gained

292. Oracle Sight.

293. Ooh, and the rock's on the bottom now.

294. You are holding it upside down.

295. Whatever.

296. Chair has gained, um...

297. Uh... Strap.

298. What? Why would it gain that?

299. You know, 'cause know you can, you can strap it to your back and carry it easier.

300. See, no more dragging.

301. Now, onward.

302. Oh, man, why did I even come up here?

303. I guess this is easier.

304. No, no, no, no, no.

305. Wa!

306. Whoa! Whoa! Ha!

307. Oh! That was insane!

308. That was, like, the coolest thing I've ever done.

309. Did anyone see? I just...

310. Huh...

311. Attention, everyone.

312. I'm stealing this jar of spaghetti sauce.

313. I'm shoplifting. Security, I'm taking this.

314. Someone had better stop me right now.

315. - Not only did you announce you were stealing,

316. we have the whole thing caught on the the security camera.

317. - Play the tape. - Attention, everyone,

318. I'm stealing this jar of spaghetti sauce.

319. Wait, wait, wait. Rewind it about ten seconds.

320. Awesome! - Whoa! Whoa! Ha!

321. Nice!

322. Pretty cool, huh? Well, thanks, everybody. I'll just be going now.

323. Oh, no, that was way cool,

324. but we still have to send you to jail.

325. Can I get a copy of that tape?

326. Introducing Unsee-a-ball. The ball you can't see.

327. - Toss me the ball. - I did.

328. - Oh, it must have veered a little to...

329. Unsee-a-ball.

330. Still working late, I see.

331. That's the Mrs. Hammond I remember.

332. What? Nicholas!

333. Alison! My favorite former students!

334. But I thought you were away on an expedition.

335. We just got back and we have some exciting news.

336. We discovered a brand new species of animal in the jungle.

337. And since you're the one who inspired us to become scientists,

338. we decided to name it after you.

339. Oh, my goodness!

340. I don't know what to say.

341. This is such an honor.

342. You deserve it.

343. As soon as we saw this little critter, we knew we had to name it...

344. The Debra Hammond butt snail.

345. The butt snail?

346. The Debra Hammond butt snail.

347. Why are you doing this?

348. We wanted to immortalize our favorite teacher.

349. Now people all over the world will be saying the name Debra Hammond...

350. when they're also talking about butt snails.

351. Ah! Which end is its butt?

352. Oh, that's the incredible thing.

353. Both ends are butts!

354. Would you like to hold it?

355. No, I would not like that.

356. Don't name that thing after me.

357. It's horrible and I hate it!

358. Wow! That is not the Mrs. Hammond I remember.

359. I thought you, of all people,

360. would see that under the butt snail's butt-covered exterior

361. lies a butt-shaped heart.

362. A heart that only wants to love.

363. And to be... Oh! It's out.

364. It's out. It got out. The butt snail's out. The butt snail is out.

365. - The butt snail's out.

366. At last, the goblet of Grazahan.

367. Oh, but how will we reach it?

368. Why don't you use the staff of Dilpulden to cast a spell of retrieval?

369. Good idea.

370. Oh, mighty staff!

371. I missed.

372. No, now what will we do?

373. If only there was just something we could stand on,

374. like a small platform of sorts, just...

375. Just a raised horizontal surface

376. that would just give us just the...

377. Why don't we use the chair?

378. Yes, the chair.

379. Ha-ha, yes!

380. - Finally! - Oh, God, we did it!

381. - A chair! Who would have thought? Ugh...

382. Thank goodness for that chair. It was exactly what we needed.

383. Yes, and I knew that all along.

384. No, you didn't.

385. No, I didn't!

386. And actually, I'm having a dinner party, so I need it back.

387. And I'll take the goblet too because it's also for my dinner party.

388. Good job on the quest.

389. I'll be sure to tell everyone at the party about what great heroes you are.

390. Could we just come to the party?

391. Oh!

392. Well, I'm not... I mean...

393. - Eagles!

394. I'm great at being a wizard!