1. Ahh, I love that
new T-shirt smell.
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2. Chicks are gonna be
up all up in our biz
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3. when they see us wearing these
Rick and Morty custom tees.
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4. I bet we could sell these.
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5. Hells yeah. I
fuckin' love merch!
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6. Aah!
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7. - The rain! It... It burns!
- Oh, shit.
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8. Quick, Morty,
protect the shirts!
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9. The door! Open the door!
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10. Rick! Is it...
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11. Morty, will ya stop tryna...
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12. Okay, there, it's open.
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13. - Jesus.
- My skin is on fire.
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14. W-Why is the rain doing that?
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15. My acid rain will destroy
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16. all things green and natural
or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
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17. Huh. Well, that
guy's easy to please.
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18. Your acid rain is an acid pain
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19. in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
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20. Yikes. Wow.
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21. Who's the chick in need
of a dialogue pass?
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22. First order of business is
to clean up this acid rain
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23. with a little wind!
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24. Yoww!
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25. Ow! Ow, my leg!
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26. Wow.
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27. And now an elemental punch
that's too hot to handle!
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28. Wa-kah!
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29. Oh, wow.
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30. Curse you, Planetina!
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31. I'll get you next slime!
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32. There's only one solution
for Earth's pollution... you!
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33. - Wow.
- Morty, if you say "wow"
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34. one more time, I swear
to fucking God...
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35. Are you crazy, Rick?
She's right there!
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36. Yeah, get that aluminum,
Morty. It's 8% of the Earth.
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37. We'll need every atom.
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38. Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!
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39. Your problem!
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40. Excuse me? S-Sorry.
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41. I-I-I wanted to say, "N-No
problem, you're welcome,"
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42. a-a-and it came
out "your problem."
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43. I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.
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44. You're not an
idiot. You recycled.
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45. - I-I'm Morty.
- Nice to meet you, Morty.
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46. I'm Planetina, and I hope
you have a wonderful day.
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47. Hey!
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48. The fuck we doin' here?
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49. Uhh, y-y-you like soft serve?
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50. There's a shop around the bend.
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51. Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
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52. Veal is a product of
the dairy industry.
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53. Oh, that's not good.
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54. No, it is not.
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55. Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
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56. I know a place that serves
cruelty-free doughnuts.
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57. If you'd like, I could fly
you and your friend there
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58. easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
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59. Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.
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60. He... He said he
can't come. Let's go!
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61. What the fuck was that shit?
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62. The Earth is in danger!
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63. Pollution and waste
are ruining our planet.
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64. Mother Nature has enlisted
the help of four young adults
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65. from each major ethnicity...
And when things look bad,
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66. and I mean really bad...
They combine the powers
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67. of their elemental
rings to create me!
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68. Planetina, conservationist
super person!
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69. There's only one solution,
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70. for Earth's pollution... you!
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71. P-Pretty cool, huh?
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72. I-I can't believe I actually
hung out with Planetina.
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73. How old is this woman?
She looks very mature.
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74. She's a sentient amalgam
of natural elements,
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75. so I don't believe
age applies to her.
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76. Great. Taylor Murphy dumps
me the day before his
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77. hella-big pool party
and my little brother's
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78. dating a phase four super hero.
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79. Just shoot me in the
fucking head until I die.
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80. Hey, hey, none of
that, Summerfest.
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81. Look what you're doing to your
sister, you piece of shit.
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82. Is it weird that she
hasn't texted me yet?
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83. - Yes.
- No.
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84. What if I told you that
your Grandpa Rick's
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85. got something up his sleeve
that's so Rick-diculous
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86. that it's gonna make
you forget all about
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87. that stupid asshole
that dumped you?
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88. Hey, my egg plate!
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89. Morglutz, Slartivart,
and Ferkus 9...
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90. Three planets are all ending
in a delayed succession
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91. of cataclysmic events.
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92. A jam like this comes around
only once in a lifetime.
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93. Morglutz's sun is
going supernova,
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94. Slartivart is falling
into a black hole,
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95. and Ferkus 9 is getting
"Deep Impact" -ed
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96. by an asteroid.
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97. They're all having a
major, final blow out...
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98. And I'm gonna drug it up and
suck it up before each one
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99. goes ka-blamo, and I'm taking
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100. my favorite grandkid
along with me!
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101. Hells yeah.10
seconds on Morglutz,
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102. and you'll be up to your
neck in I-could-give-two
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103. shits-about-what's-his-ass.
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104. And also herpes.
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105. Um... Oh, my God,
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106. thank you, Grandpa Rick!
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107. I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
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108. Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't
given you my approval yet.
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109. Summer, approval
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110. is yet to be given here!
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111. There's a huge forest fire
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112. like 200 miles from here!
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113. This is amazing! Planetina's
bound to be there.
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114. Mom, I-I need the credit
card to buy a train ticket.
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115. Absolutely not.
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116. Mom, this is the biggest
wildfire of the year!
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117. - You're not going!
- You're not going!
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118. Da fuck I'm not.
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119. Last time I checked,
this wasn't Russia.
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120. - It's not Russia, Jerry.
- My heart is broken,
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121. and I deserve to let loose,
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122. and if you don't like it,
you can suck my bigger tit.
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123. Adios, C-words.
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124. Morty, I don't want
you getting hurt.
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125. - Please, think this over.
- I don't want to think!
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126. I want to see a girl I like.
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127. If you don't want to help me,
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128. I'll find my own goddamn
way to the wildfire.
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129. - I'll get the wine.
- Thank you.
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130. The Governor has implemented
a mandatory evacuation.
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131. Abandon all hope, people!
Nothing will stop this fire.
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132. Nothing!
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133. Scratch that! Here's
Planetina, Savioress of Earth!
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134. Yeeouch! Talk about a hot foot.
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135. Better put this wildfire on ice!
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136. Come here, little buddy.
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137. Come on, come on,
come on, I gotcha.
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138. Morty? What are you doing here?
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139. Oh, hey! Y-You're here, too?
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140. Yeah, I heard about
the wildfire back home,
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141. and, you know, I stopped
by to lend a hand.
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142. H-Here you go,
fella. All safe now.
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143. Ahh, rabbits...
Al-always hopping...
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144. Never stoppin'.
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145. Y-Yeah.
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146. S-So it was, uh,
great hanging...
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147. Hanging out the other day.
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148. I-I was getting kind of
a... I mean I-I got kind of
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149. a p-positive vibe.
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150. Oh, good. I was putting one out.
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151. I-I really like you.
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152. Holy shit.
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153. I-I-I mean, uh,
well, oh, all right.
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154. Next step, you w-want
to go out again?
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155. I do! But, uh,
Morty, I have kids.
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156. Oh, I-I-I'll get along
with them. I'm-I'm a kid.
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157. No, I mean the four kids
that bring me into existence
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158. by combining the power
of their elemental rings
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159. so I can save Earth from
ecological disasters.
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160. Oh, them! No, I-I
know about them.
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161. I-I like them.
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162. Oh, good. Well,
here they are now.
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163. Hey, buddy, you
want an autograph?
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164. That's 20 bucks a pop.
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165. No, Eddie, he's my friend.
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166. Morty, these are my
kids, The Tina-Teers.
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167. Oh, hey.
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168. Tina, girl, have
you gained weight?
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169. Uh, well, I had a plant-based
doughnut yesterday.
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170. Just a half.
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171. Sugar is worst thing
for figure, darling.
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172. You want to be ugly?
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173. Heh, I-I thought
they'd be younger.
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174. They've been manifesting
me since the mid-'90s.
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175. A lot has changed since then.
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176. This is freaking you out, huh?
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177. It is a lot to take in.
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178. I understand.
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179. Well, I guess I'd better go.
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180. See you around.
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181. Hi-de-ho, TV 58!
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182. Planetina, you
single-handily saved
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183. a National Forest with ease.
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184. I do what I can, but
I can't do it alone!
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185. And who's your
friend over there?
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186. Oh! This is Morty Smith.
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187. He traveled 200 miles just to
save a rabbit from the fire.
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188. He's a very special guy.
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189. So, are you two dating?
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190. Oh, um, w... I-I-I...
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191. Yes, we are.
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192. Fuck love. Fuck love.
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193. All right, time
to set the rules.
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194. Lay it on me. No whining.
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195. Done. No crying.
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196. As if.
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197. And absolutely, positively
no getting attached.
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198. We're here to smash max
ass... Quantity over quality.
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199. Deal? Deal!
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200. I'm gonna eat so much
ass, you're gonna shit.
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201. Check this out. This is
gonna be me at the party...
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202. B-b-laaaah!
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203. B-b-blaaaah! Oh, is
that another ass?
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204. Don't mind if I... b-b-blaaaah!
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205. Ho-ho! This'll be me across
the room... "Excuse me, miss."
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206. It appears that you
have an uneaten ass.
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207. Allow me... lalalalalaaah!
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208. - Lalalalalaaah!
- B-b-blaaaah!
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209. B-b-blaaaah!
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210. Whoo! Fucking super nova party!
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211. Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
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212. The world's ending,
and for some reason,
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213. I want to die with you
more than anyone else.
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214. Wow!
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215. Yo, Rick, don't look now,
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216. but someone's giving
you the big eye.
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217. 'Scuse me. I got
to see a man about
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218. a horse I'd rather
have sex with.
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219. Aah!
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220. Hello. I'm Rick.
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221. Hey. So, the world's
ending, and for some reason,
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222. I want to die with you
more than anyone else.
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223. Hello.
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224. Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
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225. No commitments!
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226. Surprise!
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227. What are you doing here?
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228. Mmm!
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229. I told my kids I went
out to recycle batteries.
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230. All kidding aside,
everyone should discard
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231. used batteries at
proper disposal centers
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232. instead of tossing them
into a regular waste bin.
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233. Thanks for the tip.
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234. Solus is collapsing
in five zip-zops.
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235. If we time it right,
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236. we can skeet together
as the sun explodes.
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237. Sounds ah-mazing.
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238. Say, I think I left my
purse back at the bar.
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239. Can both of you
go get it for me?
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240. Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
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241. Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
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242. Righty-right. Meet
me at the car.
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243. One of these has to be
hers. Where'd she go?
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244. I guess we'll have
to start without her.
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245. Oh, her loss.
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246. B-b-blaaaaaaaaah!
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247. Whoo! Planet number
two, let's do it!
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248. Sorry, I took so long. I
had to ditch some clingers.
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249. Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
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250. Geez, you okay to drive?
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251. Shiii!
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252. 'Course, I-I-I'm mable.
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253. Buckle up.
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254. Yeah!
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255. Whoo! The best week of my life!
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256. Hello.
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257. What was that? Nothin'.
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258. Who wants to see
the most radadelic
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259. lady-version of a super hero?
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260. - Fire!
- Water!
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261. - Air!
- And Dirt!
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262. Oh, no, the convention.
Morty, wake up!
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263. - We overslept.
- What's happening?
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264. Hey, there's a
little boy on her!
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265. Oh, d-d-drop the curtain!
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266. There is no curtain!
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267. Idiots, zap her away!
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268. No, no, no. Wait, I-I...
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269. - Whoa!
- Security!
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270. What did you do?
B-Bring her back!
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271. - No! Let me go!
- Sorry, folks.
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272. Planetina will be
back in a moment.
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273. Until then, who wants a limited
edition Funko for only $50?
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274. This is very bad.
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275. We are about to close deal.
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276. We cannot afford controversy.
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277. Don't you worry.
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278. I know how ta deal
with this Morty kid.
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279. Hey, a bunch of us are
going over to Hibler's place
Copy !req
280. to shoot ourselves.
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281. Y-You want to come with?
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282. Sorry, but no man's tying
down Sum-Sum tonight.
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283. Hit the dicks.
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284. Your loss, honey.
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285. You could have had
allllllll this.
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286. Hey, check it out! There's
old people dancing!
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287. Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
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288. Hello. Rick!
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289. What the WTF is that
Morglutzian doing here?
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290. Morglutzian? She's...
She's not Morglutzian.
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291. She's the only blue person
here without three eyes!
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292. Okay, fine. B-Busted.
Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.
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293. Daphne, this is Summer,
my granddaughter.
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294. Granddaughter? Hello.
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295. Daphne heard about our
little party crawl,
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296. and I told her she
could come with.
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297. I-I-In the trunk.
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298. What in the actual fuck, Rick?
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299. We said no commitments!
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300. This was to be our
Apocalypse Party-crawl!
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301. You broke the rules!
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302. Squares follow rules, Summer.
Daphne's down to freak.
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303. She's up for any sick,
nasty thing I want to do.
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304. Hello. Oh, yeah, baby.
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305. All right, fellas, take five.
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306. He ain't gonna give
me any trouble.
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307. Where's Planetina?
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308. - Don't you worry about her.
- I want to see her!
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309. Planetina's got a lot
of responsibilities.
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310. People depend on her.
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311. And you, my friend,
Copy !req
312. are a distraction we
can't afford right now.
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313. She's just a product
to you, isn't she?
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314. Something to make money off of.
Copy !req
315. W-Well, Planetina's
more than that.
Copy !req
316. She's a brilliant, living
thing, and I love her.
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317. Oh, you love her?
Well, guess what.
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318. We own her.
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319. But not for long, of course.
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320. We're gonna sell her
to some Arab overseas.
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321. Fire.
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322. As for you, maybe she won't
Copy !req
323. love you so much if you
ain't so pretty no more.
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324. Stop! Yah!
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325. Ow!
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326. Y-You want to fuck
with me? Do you?
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327. Stupid fuckin' shit hole!
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328. Aaaaaah!
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329. Boss, what's
happening? Let us in!
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330. Aah!
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331. Fire!
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332. Fire!
Copy !req
333. Can we conclude our business?
Copy !req
334. I'm eager to celebrate
my purchase of.
Copy !req
335. Planetina over dinner,
and these infant seals
Copy !req
336. aren't getting any younger.
Copy !req
337. Momentarily, comrade.
Copy !req
338. Soon, our partner will return.
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339. Ugh! What is taking
Eddie so long?
Copy !req
340. His phone keep
going to voicemail.
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341. Just kidding. It's
Eddie. Go fuck yourself.
Copy !req
342. Which one of you
ordered a pizza?
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343. No one order pizza.
What is this?
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344. Well, I got a cheesy Italian,
extra crispy just for you.
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345. I know those cheek bones
like they're me own!
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346. It's Eddie!
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347. Fucking Mother! Kill him!
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348. - Stone! Stone!
- Fire!
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349. Aah!
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350. Airs!
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351. Cold Water! Cold Water!
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352. Dirt!
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353. Fire!
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354. Wa...
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355. Airs.
Copy !req
356. Now we can be
together, Planetina.
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357. I am an individual character.
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358. I represent no group.
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359. - Fire!
- Aaah!
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360. Water! Dirt! Airs!
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361. Aah!
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362. Not good!
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363. Blib...
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364. Naga...
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365. Threve...
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366. Verillex... Gam!
Copy !req
367. Happy Apocalypse!
Copy !req
368. - Oh, my gaaah!
- This is awful!
Copy !req
369. Why were we cheering?
Copy !req
370. Hello. Got any agua around here?
Copy !req
371. Mama's got to hydrate.
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372. Glove box.
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373. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
374. Rick is the coolest guy ever.
Copy !req
375. We're total soul mates.
Copy !req
376. He's gonna show me the
wonders of the universe.
Copy !req
377. Ha! Once we get to
the next planet,
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378. Grandpa Rick is gonna
ditch you, like, so fast.
Copy !req
379. Oh, is that so?
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380. Uh-huh, nobody is tying
that guy down... ever.
Copy !req
381. The only chick seeing the
universe with Rick is me.
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382. Not if I keep Rick's
mouth full of these.
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383. Oh, my... Oh, my God.
Copy !req
384. Oh, yeah. That's
right, girlfriend.
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385. This is what you're up against.
Copy !req
386. Wars were fought over these.
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387. They've ruined kings,
inspired presidents.
Copy !req
388. A hundred songs and
nine national anthems
Copy !req
389. have been written about them.
Copy !req
390. Best set of elbow-titties
on Morglutz.
Copy !req
391. And now, thanks to Rick,
the best in the galaxy.
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392. You want me to put them away?
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393. Please. Sure.
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394. But only because you're
Rick's granddaughter.
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395. Daph? Daphne?
Where are ya, baby?
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396. Papa needs some
more elbow grease.
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397. Comin'! Ya might want to
keep your eyes on the road.
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398. It's about to get sloppy.
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399. Hello! Hello.
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400. Ugh!
Copy !req
401. Then I put my sunglasses
on and walked out
Copy !req
402. like nothing happened.
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403. I'm finally free.
Copy !req
404. All because of Morty.
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405. What a romantic story
about our son killing
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406. a room full of people.
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407. Your turn.
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408. Uh, seven.
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409. One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven!
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410. Oyyy, don't punch my lunch!
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411. A-ha! Eat it!
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412. I'm out of food cards.
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413. How 'bout I loan you
two quiche at 10%?
Copy !req
414. That's so generous.
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415. My turn!
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416. Double sixes, baby!
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417. One, two, three... So,
what's next for Planetina?
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418. Well, now that I'm not
distracted by book signings
Copy !req
419. and publicity stunts, Morty
and I can concentrate on
Copy !req
420. more important things.
Copy !req
421. Like school.
Copy !req
422. Like moving in.
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423. Planetina doesn't have
a place to stay now,
Copy !req
424. so I said she
could live with us.
Copy !req
425. - Holy shit. Morty, no.
- I'm so full!
Copy !req
426. - What do you mean, no?
- Whoo!
Copy !req
427. Don't punch my lunch.
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428. I wouldn't be a
burden, Mrs. Smith.
Copy !req
429. I only want to
spend as much time
Copy !req
430. as possible with your son.
Copy !req
431. My son is 14, miss.
Copy !req
432. I'm sorry, Morty.
You're way too young.
Copy !req
433. But y-y-y-you were a teenager
when Dad got you pregnant.
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434. I was 17!
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435. That's at least 26 in boy years.
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436. I'm sure Planetina is very nice,
but when you're a teenager,
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437. love is fleeting, at best.
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438. You underestimate Morty. He
is a very mature young man.
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439. See, Mom? I told you!
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440. This is not happening.
End of discussion.
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441. Planetina, I think you
should leave, please.
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442. Okay, Mrs. Smith.
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443. Oh, no!
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444. Mom, I hate you!
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445. - You suck!
- Hey, now, it's only a game.
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446. - Shut up!
- Shut up!
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447. - Okay.
- My whole life,
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448. I've never fit in anywhere.
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449. Everything I have to
say is always met with
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450. an eye roll as if
the act of hearing
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451. what I have to say is
some exhausting chore.
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452. Nobody in this family thinks I
can say or do anything right!
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453. I've been all over the universe,
met hundreds of people,
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454. and Planetina's the only one
I've ever met that makes me feel
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455. like I belong, and you just
kicked her out of our house!
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456. Morty, please...
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457. I will never forgive
you for this!
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458. Morty! Morty, come back!
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459. Get out! All of you,
get out of there!
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460. You're killing the planet!
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461. Your people didn't
get the votes.
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462. Leave, or I'll
have you arrested.
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463. It's you people who
should be arrested.
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464. Gutting the land, poisoning
the air your children breathe?
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465. Can't you see what
you're doing?
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466. Easy for you to say! You
can live how you want!
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467. We need the jobs.
Let's go, boys.
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468. She can't stop us.
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469. W-We'll get them next time.
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470. There's no time left!
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471. Can't you hear the
Earth screaming?
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472. You filthy murderers!
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473. Planetina, stop it!
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474. There's only one solution
for Earth's pollution!
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475. Oh, my God, no.
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476. No!
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477. I can't believe I'm
banging my co-workers.
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478. And I'm the boss!
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479. This gay sex with
my Dad is terrific!
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480. What was I thinking?
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481. It'll all be over soon!
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482. Last chance to pee
on me! Anyone?
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483. Okay, Grandpa, the
meteor's almost here.
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484. - We can go now.
- Ah, nah, we still got time.
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485. Well, then stop being in
love and start having fun.
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486. Ah, love's pretty fun,
Summer. Just give it a chance.
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487. It's not even real love!
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488. Daphne's just with you so
she can keep surviving!
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489. Ah, the young... so naive.
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490. Eww, gross.
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491. Congratulations, Ferkisians!
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492. Your apocalypse is aborted.
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493. And, Grandpa, you
and I can go home.
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494. Daphne, you may come with.
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495. If you want to
and don't have to.
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496. I don't know what you're
getting at, Summer.
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497. Obviously, Daphne wants to...
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498. Aw, you cold bitch. Hello?
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499. Goodbye.
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500. Hey, she's the one
that saved the world!
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501. Now we got to go
to work tomorrow!
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502. You fucker!
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503. Sorry I messed things
up with Daphne.
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504. Just shut up. I get it.
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505. - Really? You're not mad?
- I'm furious.
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506. But I have to admit, it
was pretty Rick of you
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507. to avert an apocalypse
in a tantrum of cynicism
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508. just to destroy one
dumb relationship.
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509. Still, sorry.
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510. Eh, I would've done
the same for you.
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511. Promise?
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512. Love you, Grandpa Rick.
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513. Don't make it weird.
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514. Please go. I-I-I
can't see you anymore.
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515. Don't you even want to
try to make it work?
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516. We were so close.
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517. You murdered 300 people.
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518. And you murdered my kids.
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519. They were gonna sell
you away forever.
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520. Eddie was trying to kill me!
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521. Th-Those miners were innocent.
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522. Those innocent miners voted
men into power to protect
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523. their precious jobs
so they can buy more
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524. plastic garbage and eat the
corpses of tortured animals.
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525. The system is broken, Morty.
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526. This is the only way
I can save Earth,
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527. the only way I can save you.
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528. If that's the only way,
I-I don't want to be saved.
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529. Please, go.
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530. But... I love you.
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531. I-I-I can't... I-I
can't love you.
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532. I-I just can't.
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533. Please understand.
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534. No.
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535. I'll go, but don't you
dare ask me to understand.
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536. Planetina, I-I'm so sorry.
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537. Fuck you.
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538. Morty? Are you all right?
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539. She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
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540. I loved her so much!
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541. I know you did, honey.
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542. Shh, Mommy's here.
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543. Good morning.
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544. 'Morning.
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545. Slow day, huh?
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546. Yep.
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547. Probably because
everybody thought
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548. the world wouldn't be, you
know, like, here today.
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549. Mm-hmm. Mom in back?
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550. Mom's not talking to us.
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551. Because we had sex?
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552. Yes. Uh, yeah.
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553. That makes sense.
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554. Happy birthday, by the way.
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