1. What kind of parents
drag their kids awayCopy !req
2. for the entire week
of spring break?Copy !req
3. I'm missing Mike
Triscuit's drug party.Copy !req
4. Look at this.
He's already watchingCopy !req
5. "Euphoria"
to pregame.Copy !req
6. Pregame. Game.
Video game.Copy !req
7. Yes, yes, drugs and video games.
Poor babies.Copy !req
8. What you need
is to level upCopy !req
9. with a bong rip of
nature.Copy !req
10. Trust me,
this is good for you.Copy !req
11. Can someone just
kill me?Copy !req
12. Grandpa Rick,
you can kill anything.Copy !req
13. No, he can't, Summer.
We're roughing it.Copy !req
14. And that means no sci-fi
bull-shitCopy !req
15. - Isn't that right, Rick?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
16. - Rick, was that a sci-fi phone call?
- Shut up, Jerry.Copy !req
17. Damn it, I didn't think
she had this number.Copy !req
18. Why are you building a Faraday
box to block out the signal?Copy !req
19. Oh, my God, Grandpa's
ghosting someone.Copy !req
20. I'm not ghosting.
Hey! Give it back,Copy !req
21. - Summer!
- "Rick. Please answer me.Copy !req
22. I'm pregnant"?
Oh, my God,Copy !req
23. Grandpa,
you fuck boi.Copy !req
24. I'm not a fuck boi
Summer!Copy !req
25. There's no way those kids
are mine.Copy !req
26. Wow. At least we know why Rick
actually came on the trip...Copy !req
27. to avoid his
fuck-guy problems.Copy !req
28. - Why would this person lie?
- I don't know, honey.Copy !req
29. She's addicted
to what the Rick did.Copy !req
30. You know, it's... it's...
it's a tale as oldCopy !req
31. as my huge dynamite penis.Copy !req
32. Can we turn the radio on?Copy !req
33. I am not letting
you abandon those kidsCopy !req
34. - like you abandoned me.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
35. We're going to see
this baby mama right now!Copy !req
36. What, like, literally now?Copy !req
37. Yes, now!
That's an order.Copy !req
38. Aah!Copy !req
39. No!Copy !req
40. This is exactly
what I was talking about!Copy !req
41. Rick, I hope you realize
the tubing permitCopy !req
42. - was non-refundable!
- Relax, Jerry,Copy !req
43. we'll be in and out in a minute,
and then you can get right backCopy !req
44. to your dumb vacationCopy !req
45. with a family
that doesn't need you.Copy !req
46. Kind of expected
someone to defend me,Copy !req
47. but, sure, okay.Copy !req
48. Hello, Gaia.
Hold on.Copy !req
49. Let me just adjust my
Seismic-to-English translator.Copy !req
50. Rick. You came.Copy !req
51. - W-Where is she?
- You're looking at her.Copy !req
52. I-I-I-I don't understand.Copy !req
53. Isn't it obvious, Morty?Copy !req
54. I fuck a planet.Copy !req
55. Episode Title: "Childrick of Mort"
Aired on: May 242020Copy !req
56. So, what,
you just go aroundCopy !req
57. knocking up planets now?Copy !req
58. I-I-Is that what you do
when I'm at school?Copy !req
59. I'm a scientist, Morty.
I try things.Copy !req
60. Sex with a living planet?
Big step for mankind.Copy !req
61. Yeah, we finally broke
the deadbeat dad barrier.Copy !req
62. - Ah, where the magic happened.
- Gross.Copy !req
63. Hey, uh, Gaia, baby,
Big Daddy Rick is here.Copy !req
64. - What's the problem?
- Children.Copy !req
65. Birth cycle. Now.Copy !req
66. Okay, gettin' right into it.Copy !req
67. - I am! I am!
- Jesus Christ!Copy !req
68. - I am! - I am!
- I am!Copy !req
69. - Dad, do something! Make it stop!
- You think I know how to stop this?Copy !req
70. I thought she was gonna
shit an egg.Copy !req
71. Cool vacation, guys.Copy !req
72. So happy I got to see
the human geyserCopy !req
73. instead of micro-dosing
with my friends.Copy !req
74. More coming. Kids.
Need father.Copy !req
75. Yeah, um, Baby Quakes,
how big is your orbit again?Copy !req
76. I mean, not to say
you get around, but, um...Copy !req
77. Are you kidding me?
Look at them!Copy !req
78. They look just like you.Copy !req
79. Yeah, and snakes
look like dildos, Beth.Copy !req
80. - What's your point?
- They do?Copy !req
81. The fact is even if they
were mine,Copy !req
82. which they're not,
the best parent is evolution.Copy !req
83. They'll probably develop harder
skin or maybe even webbed arms.Copy !req
84. Man, that'd be cool, huh?
Flying squirrel people?Copy !req
85. Yeah, Dad, that approach
worked out great for me.Copy !req
86. Beth, I know it looks bad,
but trust me.Copy !req
87. This is life
in the galaxy, okay?Copy !req
88. It's totally normal.Copy !req
89. Fine.
You won't do something, I will.Copy !req
90. Welp, there
goes the surprise!Copy !req
91. I was gonna have us jump
on the trampolineCopy !req
92. - after we caught our first fish.
- I am!Copy !req
93. - What? You're stupid.
- I am!Copy !req
94. - I am! I am!
- Beth, that's not gonna help.Copy !req
95. Uh, I hate to
agree with Rick,Copy !req
96. but shouldn't
we just let this be?Copy !req
97. We're supposed to be
on vacation.Copy !req
98. You're unemployed, Jerry!Copy !req
99. Every day
is a vacation for you.Copy !req
100. - Okay, ouch.
- You guys do whatever you want.Copy !req
101. I'm staying here
and fixing this.Copy !req
102. - I am! - I am!
- I am!Copy !req
103. Goddamn it, Beth,
if you're gonna do it,Copy !req
104. at least do it right.Copy !req
105. Gaia, baby, gonna need
a little raw iron and steam.Copy !req
106. Whatever you need, baby.Copy !req
107. - So much for camping.
- Nope.Copy !req
108. We are going camping.Copy !req
109. There's trees over there.
We're on solid ground.Copy !req
110. - Mom!
- Summer, Morty,Copy !req
111. go camp with your father.Copy !req
112. - Ohh, son of a bitch.
- Son of a bitch.Copy !req
113. - I am! - I am!
- I am! - I am!Copy !req
114. Welp, welcome to lack
of abandonment.Copy !req
115. Dad, can we please go backCopy !req
116. and hang out
with Grandpa's clay people?Copy !req
117. Why? Because they might
have a Sega Dreamcast?Copy !req
118. Why is it so hard for you two
to let nature in?Copy !req
119. Because this sucks ass.
Camping is justCopy !req
120. being homeless
without the change.Copy !req
121. Well, that attitude is
exactly why we're out here.Copy !req
122. You guys wouldn't last
two seconds on your own.Copy !req
123. You're only happy when
you're penned inCopy !req
124. and drugged up like
some kind of chicken or lemur.Copy !req
125. Hey!
I told you kids no phones!Copy !req
126. There's not even any service.Copy !req
127. Just... Just let us
be happy for a minute.Copy !req
128. You know, maybe if you
two stopped whiningCopy !req
129. and let your old man
take the reins,Copy !req
130. you might actually
learn something.Copy !req
131. Here.
Take a bite of this tasty treat.Copy !req
132. Oh, you think this s'more
makes you special?Copy !req
133. What? Because someone said,
"good job,"Copy !req
134. to you once
when you were 10?Copy !req
135. - That's actually really sad, dad.
- Let's be real.Copy !req
136. You've been high-roading us
non-stop,Copy !req
137. forcing us to do nothing
in the middle of fucking]Copy !req
138. nowhere because
it's the only wayCopy !req
139. you're gonna level
the playing field, isn't it?Copy !req
140. Because if you move the bar
so low,Copy !req
141. you might actually seem like
you're worth a fuckCopy !req
142. Huh.Copy !req
143. I'm gonna go take
a walk.Copy !req
144. Jesus Christ.
You really need to stopCopy !req
145. hanging out with Rick.Copy !req
146. Okay, so, if we divert
the Lawyer Pipeline here,Copy !req
147. they should avoid
the Ethics TubeCopy !req
148. and come out spineless enough
to do their job.Copy !req
149. Right.
Wait, why are the athletesCopy !req
150. going through
the introvert sector?Copy !req
151. Obviously so they can bully
the mathematiciansCopy !req
152. - and give us astronomers.
- God, you are such a space nerd.Copy !req
153. I'm not a nerd. We're raising
a society here, Beth.Copy !req
154. If we want them to be
self-sufficient,Copy !req
155. they need to get out
into space.Copy !req
156. Birth cycle. Coming.Copy !req
157. We got you, Gai-Gai!
Shoot 'em hard and up the middle!Copy !req
158. We got an oversupply
of teachersCopy !req
159. putting a strain
on the literary drive.Copy !req
160. Activating playwright
converter!Copy !req
161. Aah!Copy !req
162. Nice work, honey.
Okay, the therapistsCopy !req
163. are getting bored.
We need to increaseCopy !req
164. - their supply of incest porn.
- 20% wasn't enough?Copy !req
165. What the hell is that?Copy !req
166. The unproductives.
Goddamn it!Copy !req
167. - How are there so many of them?
- Unproductives?Copy !req
168. Yeah, deejays, foodies,
influencers.Copy !req
169. I just re-circulate them
through until...Copy !req
170. Shit, they blew a hole in
the human resources department!Copy !req
171. You're fired! I'm putting this
in your file! - Downsizing already?Copy !req
172. We gotta fix this, Dad.Copy !req
173. We can't keep
recycling them through.Copy !req
174. I could add an online
college workaround.Copy !req
175. Or just push them out
through a pipe in the back.Copy !req
176. - Same thing.
- Same thing.Copy !req
177. These kids may not be mine,
but you definitely are.Copy !req
178. Look at you.
My little steampunk overlord.Copy !req
179. Eeee!Copy !req
180. I don't think
he's coming back.Copy !req
181. You know, you... you really
messed him up, Summer.Copy !req
182. Yeah, well,
he called me a lemur.Copy !req
183. Let's just go
find grandpa.Copy !req
184. Maybe he can portal us home
or something.Copy !req
185. - Should we leave a note?
- Dad is fine.Copy !req
186. He's probably
sucking off a treeCopy !req
187. and having the time
of his life right now.Copy !req
188. Guess you don't want to learn
how to skip rocks, either.Copy !req
189. Aah!Copy !req
190. Aaah!Copy !req
191. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
192. Aah! Aaaaaah!Copy !req
193. Ohh!Copy !req
194. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
195. Gah!Copy !req
196. Ohhhh!Copy !req
197. Aaah!Copy !req
198. Aah!Copy !req
199. Aah!Copy !req
200. Aaah!Copy !req
201. Ow! Hey!Copy !req
202. Aah!Copy !req
203. Aaaaah!Copy !req
204. Aaaaaaaah!Copy !req
205. Ohh!Copy !req
206. Who are you guys?Copy !req
207. We are...
unproductives.Copy !req
208. Ahh, I get it.Copy !req
209. Bunch of bull-shitCopy !req
210. What is that?Copy !req
211. This?
This is camping.Copy !req
212. Camping?
Ooh!Copy !req
213. Camping!Copy !req
214. Camping! Camping!Copy !req
215. Good work there,
TickTock.Copy !req
216. Keep whittling.
Incredible.Copy !req
217. You've almost got smoke
over there, Florflock.Copy !req
218. There you go, guys!Copy !req
219. Pump those cheeks.Copy !req
220. That's the camping spirit.Copy !req
221. What the... Squeeb!Copy !req
222. This is not a tent.Copy !req
223. It is a new
kind of tent,Copy !req
224. with special gutters
to funnel the rain, and a door.Copy !req
225. It's a house! No houses!Copy !req
226. No doors! Once you have doors,
you have indoors.Copy !req
227. Once you have indoors,
you won't want to camp anymore.Copy !req
228. Then why do they not camp?Copy !req
229. Because they're bad.Copy !req
230. Bad. Bad. Bad.Copy !req
231. Bad! Bad! Bad!Copy !req
232. Oh, my God.
Maybe Dad was right.Copy !req
233. Maybe we have
no life skills.Copy !req
234. I've definitely drank more pee
than I care to remember.Copy !req
235. I'm just gonna sit down.Copy !req
236. If I die, don't eat my ass.
That'd be weird.Copy !req
237. Uh, Summer?Copy !req
238. Damn, you think
they got infectedCopy !req
239. by a mind slug
or something?Copy !req
240. Probably drove through a nebula
that made themCopy !req
241. see their own fears.Copy !req
242. Whoa!
These controls.Copy !req
243. It's just like my video game
controllers.Copy !req
244. I just wish I could read
these symbols.Copy !req
245. This looks just like
Tricia's bong.Copy !req
246. Morty, I think these tubes
might containCopy !req
247. all of their
collective knowledge.Copy !req
248. - Mm!
- Well?Copy !req
249. I think we got this, bro.Copy !req
250. Beth,
you wanna do the honors?Copy !req
251. What? Really? Wow.Copy !req
252. Okay.
Here we go.Copy !req
253. If you told me six days ago
I'd be christeningCopy !req
254. a generation ship for
my half-rock children,Copy !req
255. I would've called
you crazy.Copy !req
256. But I guess that's the lesson...
crazy things happenCopy !req
257. when you put in the work.
Salud!Copy !req
258. Fucking Doopnar!
Sing something!Copy !req
259. Great toast, Dad.Copy !req
260. - Thanks, sweetie.
- Damn, listen to those pipes.Copy !req
261. You sure these
kids are yours?Copy !req
262. What, you've never heard me
sing karaoke?Copy !req
263. I'm... I'm pretty good when
someone's in my register,Copy !req
264. like the guy that sings
"Circle of Life."Copy !req
265. Can't remember his name.
Dresses up weird.Copy !req
266. Look at this.
Everyone's happy.Copy !req
267. They're about to go
into space.Copy !req
268. I know things haven't always
been great with us,Copy !req
269. but we do make
a pretty good team.Copy !req
270. Uh, Rick?
Can we talk?Copy !req
271. Kinda in the middle of
a breakthrough with my daughter.Copy !req
272. Go ahead, Dad.
Gaia deserves some time, too.Copy !req
273. - They're your kids.
- Yes, about that.Copy !req
274. Pam!
It's good to see you, baby!Copy !req
275. Um, Gaia?
You know this guy?Copy !req
276. Ha! You call her Gaia?Copy !req
277. - So lame.
- Is that...Copy !req
278. - God?
- Rick. The kids.Copy !req
279. I messed up.
You're not their father.Copy !req
280. Little ones!
Daddy's here!Copy !req
281. I'm sending some fog down.Copy !req
282. Feel my presence
through the fog!Copy !req
283. - Ooh!
- Beth! What the fuck. Don't touch it!Copy !req
284. You gotta be kidding me.
God is the father?Copy !req
285. No hard feelings, okay?Copy !req
286. We thought they were yours,
you know,Copy !req
287. because they're so small.Copy !req
288. Oh, wow. No hard feelings.
Y-You hear that, Beth?Copy !req
289. Guy swoops in after we raised
his whole civilizationCopy !req
290. and tells us he forgives us.
What a fucking mooch!Copy !req
291. Don't push me, asshole!Copy !req
292. Rick, I think you should go.Copy !req
293. Seriously? You really want
this pile of dry iceCopy !req
294. - to raise your kids?
- Stop acting like you did a good job.Copy !req
295. You made my kids soft
and empty inside.Copy !req
296. This city is a monument
to nothing!Copy !req
297. Where is their faith?Copy !req
298. Reggie is right.Copy !req
299. The children are not ready
to leave.Copy !req
300. He can give them more.Copy !req
301. I mean, maybe
we should just bail, Dad.Copy !req
302. At least this guy is immortal
and can stick around.Copy !req
303. Bull-shit They're my kids!
We're staying!Copy !req
304. Bad! Bad! Bad!Copy !req
305. See? Now, this is the kind
of shit I'm talking about.Copy !req
306. Jerry! Oh, my God!Copy !req
307. - Is that you?
- What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
308. - Camping.
- Oh, look, Jerry finally found his people.Copy !req
309. All it took was
a deep enough drip pan.Copy !req
310. You labeled these creatures
"unproductive,"Copy !req
311. but I have given them
more purpose than ever.Copy !req
312. Oh, yeah? They filing your
unemployment forms?Copy !req
313. His tongue is sharp,
but it cannot whittle.Copy !req
314. The Great Roughing of
It is at hand.Copy !req
315. You will now join the One Family
on its Eternal Getaway.Copy !req
316. Or join the embers over which
we hold marshmallowsCopy !req
317. at just the right distance.Copy !req
318. Six inches!
Until it gets golden brown!Copy !req
319. Don't let it
start on fire!Copy !req
320. The carbon
is bad for you!Copy !req
321. What's happening?Copy !req
322. My children,
I give you my power.Copy !req
323. Use it to take what is yours.Copy !req
324. Oh, this mother-fucker
Raise the walls!Copy !req
325. Walls can't stop us, Rick.
We are chosen.Copy !req
326. Sha-boom-boom!Copy !req
327. Sorry! Sorry!Copy !req
328. Just trying to get
the hang of this thing.Copy !req
329. Nice choice of chosen people,
G-diddles.Copy !req
330. I guess you'll be playing
the "mysterious ways" cardCopy !req
331. - on that one.
- You wanna go, bro?Copy !req
332. - I'll kick your ass myself.
- Oh, dude, don't tempt me.Copy !req
333. When I'm done with you,
you'll need a staffCopy !req
334. to un-part
your fucking face.Copy !req
335. Guys. Please.
Not in front of the kids.Copy !req
336. Did you for real
just try to smite me?Copy !req
337. Siri, triangulate source
of power.Copy !req
338. Got you now,
you son of a bitch.Copy !req
339. Sweetie,
you handle the hippies.Copy !req
340. I'll handle
the off-brand Yahweh.Copy !req
341. - Kick his ass, Dad!
- Bear witness.Copy !req
342. Now you see my true form.Copy !req
343. The clouds were simply a shape
more appealing to Gaia's mind.Copy !req
344. No shit. Any form is more
appealing than this.Copy !req
345. You look like
Kid Rock fuck Zeus.Copy !req
346. Oh, seriously, you expect me
to fight you like this?Copy !req
347. You're the size of
four Empire State Buildings.Copy !req
348. Alright, mother-fuckerCopy !req
349. Let's go.Copy !req
350. Aaah! Aah!Copy !req
351. Ha-ha!
You like that?Copy !req
352. - Ohh!
- Here comes some pain!Copy !req
353. Ohh!Copy !req
354. Ow!Copy !req
355. Ow!Copy !req
356. And...
that last one should be...Copy !req
357. the start button.Copy !req
358. Perfect.
I guess we're ready.Copy !req
359. Let's show Mom and Dad
what video gamesCopy !req
360. and partying are all about.Copy !req
361. Jesus Christ,
was that the wings?Copy !req
362. This is not like
a video game!Copy !req
363. - Oh, my God, make it stop!
- Make it stop!Copy !req
364. How do I make it stop?
I don't know. I'm fucking high!Copy !req
365. Aah!Copy !req
366. Oh, God,
now I'm high, too!Copy !req
367. Jerry, that's enough.
Oh, hey, babe.Copy !req
368. You like these plagues
I'm unleashing on your asses?Copy !req
369. No, they're lame.
It's not a great signCopy !req
370. that your army's
on the same side as disease.Copy !req
371. Sorry we aren't modern enough
to sort people by valueCopy !req
372. and shit the losers
through a mean butt tube!Copy !req
373. Just admit this is about you
wanting to feel needed!Copy !req
374. Says the woman who sold out
her familyCopy !req
375. for an ounce of approval
from her drunk father!Copy !req
376. Well, maybe he drinks
because it isn't easyCopy !req
377. - to be more powerful than God.
- Well, if it's god powerCopy !req
378. that gets you going,
light some candlesCopy !req
379. and put on the Billy Ocean
because Moses is homeCopy !req
380. and he's ready
to burn some bush!Copy !req
381. Sha-boom-boom!Copy !req
382. Ohh!
Fuck. Ow!Copy !req
383. Alright, alright, stop.Copy !req
384. - Come on, bitch!
- Look, you win, okay?Copy !req
385. Ju... I don't care
about the kids.Copy !req
386. Smite them, raise them
to fuck sheep.Copy !req
387. Just keep the city, okay?Copy !req
388. My daughter and I
built that thing.Copy !req
389. - It's important to her.
- No, bro. I'm a Zeus.Copy !req
390. I can literally do anything.Copy !req
391. Think I'm gonna hang around
and raise kids?Copy !req
392. The only lesson they need
is right here... fear.Copy !req
393. And it looks like
school's out, bitch.Copy !req
394. - I-I think you mean school's in.
- What are...Copy !req
395. - What are you talking about?
- I-If you're teaching fear,Copy !req
396. - then choking me... school would be in.
- Fine.Copy !req
397. School's in, bitch.Copy !req
398. Oh.Copy !req
399. What the fuck?Copy !req
400. Ohh! Are we dead?
D-Did we die?Copy !req
401. I don't ever want to be
high again.Copy !req
402. I-I got scared straight.Copy !req
403. Oh, my God, I got scared
straight.Copy !req
404. Fuck. Dad was right.Copy !req
405. We... We think
we know everything,Copy !req
406. but maybe we're the ones
who suck.Copy !req
407. You kids
are my fucking heroes!Copy !req
408. You saved Grandpa's life!
I fucking love youCopy !req
409. - so much!
- Papa! - Papa!Copy !req
410. We played video games
and got high! We did wrong!Copy !req
411. - We did wrong!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,Copy !req
412. little boopas. Come on, now.Copy !req
413. You kids,
you did real good here.Copy !req
414. You did good.
Getting highCopy !req
415. and playing video games
is the best,Copy !req
416. - I swear to fucking God.
- But mom and dadCopy !req
417. - are gonna be mad.
- No, hey, hey, look, no.Copy !req
418. Fuck your mom and dad.
Your parents are a bag of dicks.Copy !req
419. Getting high and playing
video games is the best,Copy !req
420. and I will never
sell you out, ever.Copy !req
421. Now, we got to get out of here
before this guyCopy !req
422. falls out of the sky.
He's generating an ionic cloudCopy !req
423. from his own belief system.
Holy shit Summer,Copy !req
424. were you smoking this?
You were basicallyCopy !req
425. inhaling brake fluid.
Jesus!Copy !req
426. Mm, yeah.Copy !req
427. It's over, Beth. Tell your
people to lower the gatesCopy !req
428. and pack
their moisturewicking shirts.Copy !req
429. Incoming!Copy !req
430. Jerry!Copy !req
431. Beth!
Just hold on!Copy !req
432. I'm losing my grip!Copy !req
433. - Jerry.
- Squeeb?Copy !req
434. Use the s'more, Jerry.Copy !req
435. Ow!
You stabbed my hand!Copy !req
436. Sorry! Sorry!Copy !req
437. Should...
Should we make love?Copy !req
438. Jerry, I love you,
but I can literallyCopy !req
439. - smell your balls from here.
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
440. Ask God for a flood next time.
It'll come with a shower.Copy !req
441. Noted.Copy !req
442. Aw, geez,
that... that poor guy.Copy !req
443. Can you maybe not tell
Mom and Dad?Copy !req
444. Relax, it's just a Zeus.
If this was the real God, it...Copy !req
445. it'd be a completely
different story.Copy !req
446. Rick! What did you do?Copy !req
447. I mean,
gravity did most of it.Copy !req
448. - So, you, technically.
- I told you to leave!Copy !req
449. Yeah, well, you also asked me
to raise your kids.Copy !req
450. Uh, not sure if you heard
the phrase, "pick a lane,"Copy !req
451. - but...
- You killed their father!Copy !req
452. Father or not, he was
a lying piece of shit.Copy !req
453. I don't care who else
stuffed your crust,Copy !req
454. but I'm the guy
that showed up.Copy !req
455. But I mean, if you want,
I can still power-wash his gutsCopy !req
456. - off the tower and maybe...
- Get oooout!Copy !req
457. Okay, yeah, she's pissed.Copy !req
458. I mean, you killed her
slam piece, Grandpa.Copy !req
459. I don't blame her.Copy !req
460. See? you put the fire stick
to the wood, and, voila!Copy !req
461. - Campfire.
- You have known about this the whole time?Copy !req
462. I'm not gonna waste my time
building you an ark,Copy !req
463. but if your mom gets clingy,
you can use this to get some space.Copy !req
464. Is that all you want to say to
your children before you leave?Copy !req
465. Oh, yeah, uh,
don't ask me for money.Copy !req
466. I mean, Gaia's not gonna
raise those guysCopy !req
467. to hunt us down, right?Copy !req
468. Oh, most definitely.
I put a tracker on their ship.Copy !req
469. I'll blow it up if they come
anywhere near me.Copy !req
470. Well, kids, never thought
I'd say this, but,Copy !req
471. - Summer, you were right.
- Wait, what?Copy !req
472. I thought I wanted
to teach you guys about tents,Copy !req
473. but really,
I just wanted to feel important.Copy !req
474. I guess sometimes teenagers
do knowCopy !req
475. what they're talking about,
even if it's mean.Copy !req
476. Right, but didn't you, like,
go into god-mode and fight mom?Copy !req
477. Love is the only power
that matters, Morty.Copy !req
478. No, you had actual power,
and you did jack shit.Copy !req
479. That was a divine staff.Copy !req
480. You could've cured cancer
or raised the dead.Copy !req
481. - Instead you made bugs.
- Well, I was impressed, Dad.Copy !req
482. He saved my life,
no thanks to you.Copy !req
483. Your kids got high
on alien mistCopy !req
484. and drove the ship
into that Zeus guy's head.Copy !req
485. - Basically murdered him.
- Grandpa!Copy !req
486. - What the hell?
- Come on! What? - You did.Copy !req
487. I mean, not to cast
the first stone,Copy !req
488. but, Beth and Jerry, pretty
terrible parenting on your part.Copy !req
489. Did you know Summer huffed
a K-Zax Array?Copy !req
490. She basically
smoked "The Ring."Copy !req
491. Most pilots die
after three days.Copy !req
492. And Morty, the fucking moron,
he thoughtCopy !req
493. the ship worked
like a game controller.Copy !req
494. What in the Disney
Channel fuck is that?Copy !req
495. Maybe help him with
homework next time.Copy !req
496. He's clearly
crying for help.Copy !req
497. Sync corrections by srjanapalaCopy !req
498. Planets Only.
Planets Only. Planets Only.Copy !req
499. Entire systems of steamy,
lush globesCopy !req
500. and barely habitable
celestial objectsCopy !req
501. are drifting through
the void just for you.Copy !req
502. - Planets Only.
- Let's terraform.Copy !req
503. - Or colonize me as I am.
- Planets Only.Copy !req
504. Oops, there's a hole
in my ozone.Copy !req
505. I didn't put it there.
Did you?Copy !req
506. I can't fill it by myself.
I'm not smart enough.Copy !req
507. Young, dumb,
and orbiting the sun.Copy !req
508. The greenhouse is in full effect
at Planets Only.Copy !req
509. Oh, I want you to split my
Pangea into distinct continents.Copy !req
510. I don't have hydrostatic
equilibrium yet.Copy !req
511. Is that something
you can learn?Copy !req
512. You get the idea.Copy !req
513. Phew!Copy !req
514. I was watching over your
shoulder for a full minute.Copy !req
515. So? I was watching because
it's funny.Copy !req
516. It's... It's... They... They...
They're planets,Copy !req
517. but they're sexy.
It's a comedic premise.Copy !req
518. - Yeah.
- Planets Only.Copy !req
519. Planets Only.Copy !req