1. Tickets, please.Copy !req
2. Barkeep. A drink
for my colleague.Copy !req
3. Do I know you?Copy !req
4. I know the only reason
to travel by train.Copy !req
5. Is to travel with weapons.Copy !req
6. And we all know that
at the end of this line,Copy !req
7. There's only one creature
worth killing.Copy !req
8. The man in the white coat.Copy !req
9. May as well take turns
exchanging stories.Copy !req
10. Mine begins on planet ramamama.Copy !req
11. Lower him into acid.Copy !req
12. Once he's dissolved,
lower someone else into acid.Copy !req
13. Is he dissolved?Copy !req
14. At least use the downtime
to reset the acid lowerer.Copy !req
15. I really don't like
the attitude around here.Copy !req
16. It's a very "lower me into acid"
attitude.Copy !req
17. Who are you?Copy !req
18. How did you reach my sanctum?Copy !req
19. All right,
this is going in circles.Copy !req
20. Seize him!Copy !req
21. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
22. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
23. Very well.Copy !req
24. Now I will fight you.Copy !req
25. Anyway, he tells a different
version of the story.Copy !req
26. Where I start crying
or something.Copy !req
27. That's why he has to die.Copy !req
28. 'Cause he's a liar.Copy !req
29. So...Copy !req
30. Why are you going to kill
rick sanchez?Copy !req
31. Okay, I don't know who that is.Copy !req
32. I don't accept your weird
leap in logic.Copy !req
33. That has everyone on a train
going to kill one guy.Copy !req
34. And even if I did,
why would we take turns.Copy !req
35. Telling stories about it like.Copy !req
36. Little girls at a sleepover?Copy !req
37. If you're trying to be hurtful,Copy !req
38. You're doing a good job.Copy !req
39. I'll take his turn.Copy !req
40. Here's why I'm going
to kill rick sanchez.Copy !req
41. You guys have fun with this.Copy !req
42. Dissolve to a clam-shaped sun.Copy !req
43. Rising over a giant beach.Copy !req
44. Whew.Copy !req
45. By then, of course,
he had left toys.Copy !req
46. And flesh drops for every
one of us in the spore-hive.Copy !req
47. Ah, a newcomer!Copy !req
48. I suppose you think you have
a better story.Copy !req
49. About how rick sanchez
saved space christmas.Copy !req
50. What is with
the rick sanchez obsession?Copy !req
51. I think the best way
to answer that.Copy !req
52. Is with my christmas rick tale.Copy !req
53. Whoo!Copy !req
54. Could've used rudolph tonight!Copy !req
55. Oh, thank god. I'm not too late.Copy !req
56. I don't know how to
thank you, goomby.Copy !req
57. No need.Copy !req
58. You just go in there
and have a nice time.Copy !req
59. I will. Thanks.Copy !req
60. hey.Copy !req
61. Merry christmas, goomby.Copy !req
62. Merry christmas, rick.Copy !req
63. Oh. Uh...Copy !req
64. Oh, it's okay.Copy !req
65. I-I don't have to.
Sorry if that was...Copy !req
66. No. Um, um, I can ask.Copy !req
67. No, no, no,
I don't wanna be a burden.Copy !req
68. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, there's just...Copy !req
69. There's a lot of people.
Family. You know?Copy !req
70. I get it.Copy !req
71. You're not mad? Totally fine.Copy !req
72. Bye.Copy !req
73. That...
Okay, none of my business.Copy !req
74. But he didn't even save
christmas in that story.Copy !req
75. Oh, how dare you!Copy !req
76. That doesn't mean I'm invested.Copy !req
77. Tell your christmas rick story!Copy !req
78. Step the hell back! Back!Copy !req
79. You start teeing up
a rick sanchez vignette,Copy !req
80. And you'll be doing it
through two holes.Copy !req
81. I'm just trying to figure out
what's going on with this train.Copy !req
82. Do you remember getting on it?Copy !req
83. No. First thing I remember is...Copy !req
84. Tickets, please.Copy !req
85. So, why did you date
rick sanchez?Copy !req
86. What?Copy !req
87. Oh, you don't have to pretend
you didn't date him.Copy !req
88. We all did. We get it.Copy !req
89. Low point in your life,
rebound from an ex, et cetera.Copy !req
90. No, really, who?Copy !req
91. oh, exactly.Copy !req
92. In fact, and get this,
when he met my family...Copy !req
93. aah!Copy !req
94. Leah! Leah, check it out.Copy !req
95. Where'd you meet this, um...Copy !req
96. Sprite?Copy !req
97. He's actually a human.Copy !req
98. But he invented portal tech?Copy !req
99. I am the concept of time.Copy !req
100. Jesus!Copy !req
101. I warned you not to do that.Copy !req
102. I wasn't trying.
You don't have to.Copy !req
103. The train is
obviously amplifying.Copy !req
104. And linking unrelated
narrative fields.Copy !req
105. Uh-huh...Copy !req
106. Morty? I told you if you
found me again,Copy !req
107. Identify yourself.Copy !req
108. I didn't know it was you.Copy !req
109. How did you not recognize me?Copy !req
110. Didn't you create the disguises?Copy !req
111. When I create shit,
it works, morty.Copy !req
112. It's called being talented.Copy !req
113. Why can't we find the engine?Copy !req
114. It's not a real train,
it's a story device.Copy !req
115. Literally.
A literal literary device.Copy !req
116. Quite literally
metaphorically containing us.Copy !req
117. A simulation.Copy !req
118. Worse. An anthology.Copy !req
119. Okay, so how...
How do we hijack it?Copy !req
120. Oh, morty, it's been hijacked.Copy !req
121. For at least two full minutes.Copy !req
122. Are you not hearing
this insane conversation?Copy !req
123. Okay, tickets please guy,
stop the anthology.Copy !req
124. If we wanted one-offs,
we'd do interdimensional cable,Copy !req
125. Not some uptight, overwritten...Copy !req
126. Rick? God damn!Copy !req
127. Tickets, please.Copy !req
128. Dude, I'm sure you've got, like,Copy !req
129. So many tickets at this point.Copy !req
130. Jesus! The tickets please guy
is cut!Copy !req
131. He... he... he's... he's
got those things.Copy !req
132. W-What do you call them.
Uhm, gutters.Copy !req
133. Morty, gross!
That's what people call them.Copy !req
134. Gross people. I don't
want to have to picture.Copy !req
135. so watery
in such volumes that...Copy !req
136. Hey, hey, hey, stay back.Copy !req
137. I'll kick you.
I-I'll kick your shin, bro.Copy !req
138. Aaah! Hey!Copy !req
139. I'll cook and eat
your ticket-takingCopy !req
140. - hey, I found a ticket.Copy !req
141. Wow, you are just...
Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
142. The jackie chan
of human shielding.Copy !req
143. Who takes the time to get
this good at...Copy !req
144. this.Copy !req
145. Aaah - structural breach.Copy !req
146. Losing continuity.Copy !req
147. Morty, hold on to something.Copy !req
148. Keep your head inside.Copy !req
149. Aaah!Copy !req
150. Share with your sister, josh.Copy !req
151. Just because it's your
birthday doesn't mean.Copy !req
152. You can be an asshole.Copy !req
153. You okay, dad? Is this real?Copy !req
154. I doubt it, but you get
what you get.Copy !req
155. When you eat dinner
in an arcade.Copy !req
156. I mean are you real,
is life real?Copy !req
157. Okay, I'm calling the nurse
because you are not.Copy !req
158. Doing this tonight.
You're god damn rightCopy !req
159. I'm not because...
You are not doing this tonight!Copy !req
160. This isn't real life!Copy !req
161. Dad? Oh, my god! Honey. Sweetie.Copy !req
162. What's happening?
Give me your tickets.Copy !req
163. I... I need tickets.Copy !req
164. Everyone give me
tickeeeeeettttttts!Copy !req
165. Aaaah!Copy !req
166. Aaah!Copy !req
167. Female voice:
Emergency continuity deployed.Copy !req
168. This could come in handy.
Can't we just ride out the...Copy !req
169. you, I'd rather die.Copy !req
170. train cops! Hands in the air!Copy !req
171. Tee up a story
about rick sanchez!Copy !req
172. He is rick! Jesus christ!Copy !req
173. Is that the tickets please guy?Copy !req
174. Well, just the stub.Copy !req
175. Too soon! Too soon!Copy !req
176. Don't move! Too soon!Copy !req
177. So, what did the train cops
do wrong?Copy !req
178. Shot... People?Copy !req
179. Shot passengers. Wrong.Copy !req
180. The passengers tampered
with the anthology's structure.Copy !req
181. Lethal response was permitted,Copy !req
182. But not with him
holding that tank.Copy !req
183. Let's take a look at what
they should have done.Copy !req
184. Train cops! Hands in the air!Copy !req
185. Drop the tank! Drop it!Copy !req
186. Drop it! Drop the tank.Copy !req
187. Sorry to nitpick, sir,
but if there was.Copy !req
188. A continuity explosion,
isn't there always one?Copy !req
189. And doesn't that mean
those two could be anywhere?Copy !req
190. What? No, you idiot,
that... it's...Copy !req
191. It's just a training video.
That didn't actually happen.Copy !req
192. That's what you think.Copy !req
193. Hey. How'd you get here?Copy !req
194. Yeah, like we're the ones
that popped up out of nowhere?Copy !req
195. these guys.Copy !req
196. Hey, what the hell?
Your leg is healed.Copy !req
197. Yeah, it's a real free-for-all.Copy !req
198. Here we go.Copy !req
199. Of course this thing is
just a circle.Copy !req
200. You'd think it was so
god damn complicated...Copy !req
201. Okay, here's where
the stupid vignettes were.Copy !req
202. God, imagine if that
had been the whole thing.Copy !req
203. So now we're here,
and the engine must be here.Copy !req
204. I'll have to rig us
a couple of space suits.Copy !req
205. That start failing
around here so we can.Copy !req
206. pay a heavy price.Copy !req
207. For re-entering
at this threshold.Copy !req
208. We have to leave the train?Copy !req
209. We don't have to
do anything, morty.Copy !req
210. This is just a structural guide.Copy !req
211. We're obviously gonna
impart our own style.Copy !req
212. I don't like how meta
this is getting, rick.Copy !req
213. Shut up, morty. You're 14.Copy !req
214. You watch videos
of people on youtube.Copy !req
215. Reacting to youtube.Copy !req
216. I'll be the judge of
when we get too meta.Copy !req
217. HolyCopy !req
218. How is he still breathing? Aah!Copy !req
219. He's suspended in disbelief,Copy !req
220. Slowly dying while
living out an alternative.Copy !req
221. Non-diagetic reality.Copy !req
222. Geez, what a horrible
way to die.Copy !req
223. You don't know the half of it.Copy !req
224. Oh!Copy !req
225. You're on fuego with the
guy-torn-in-half bits, rick.Copy !req
226. That one was organic, though.Copy !req
227. That's because
you're naturally funny.Copy !req
228. That... that's good
old-fashioned fun.Copy !req
229. Right there, you know?Copy !req
230. W-w-we don't need
to over-think, okay?Copy !req
231. Okay, buddy. Nice and grounded,Copy !req
232. Fully immersive
from here on out.Copy !req
233. Right after this.
W-What's happening?Copy !req
234. Going into an act break.Copy !req
235. Sure, that was a great moment,Copy !req
236. But it was hardly the best timeCopy !req
237. Rick and morty were musical.Copy !req
238. Who can forget the t...Copy !req
239. Hey. You guys
think there's something weird.Copy !req
240. About this train?Copy !req
241. We've been here
a really long time.Copy !req
242. And nobody's taken our tickets.Copy !req
243. Aaah!Copy !req
244. Aaaah!Copy !req
245. The galaxy's greatest scientists
continue to ponder.Copy !req
246. The horrific figure known
to children as floaty blood man.Copy !req
247. But after three months, nobody
is any closer to the truth.Copy !req
248. For cutesy name news,
I'm uncle nibbles.Copy !req
249. I can't believe
floaty bloody man is real.Copy !req
250. He's more than real,
he's my new god.Copy !req
251. Check it. Is that brand-new,Copy !req
252. Or is the blood just...
Accurately depicted, yeah.Copy !req
253. His followers believe
the entire universe.Copy !req
254. Is floaty bloody man's
nightmare as he dies.Copy !req
255. In a time-dilated reality.Copy !req
256. So we could go at any minute.Copy !req
257. No. I'm part of
the floaty nogasm brotherhood.Copy !req
258. We believe we're
keeping him alive.Copy !req
259. By redirecting our suppressed
sexual energies.Copy !req
260. You're staying a virgin.Copy !req
261. Just to keep
the universe existing?Copy !req
262. That's... So attractive.Copy !req
263. It is?Copy !req
264. Okay, look,
let's just do it once.Copy !req
265. Sorry.Copy !req
266. Aaah!Copy !req
267. Happy now? He was suffering.Copy !req
268. Keep moving.Copy !req
269. We have to get
to the return threshold.Copy !req
270. Before the ticking clock
on your suit gets to zero.Copy !req
271. Why would you put
ticking clock...Copy !req
272. Because if it's too easy
to get there,Copy !req
273. We'll never get there.Copy !req
274. If you don't want to be meta
stop, deconstructing shit.Copy !req
275. That's the thematic seal.Copy !req
276. Gotta find a way to disrupt it.Copy !req
277. Okay, morty, tell a story
unrelated to us.Copy !req
278. Uh, what do...
Stop thinking and do it!Copy !req
279. Uh, okay, uh, there was this...Copy !req
280. My name is mike johnson.
That's good coffee.Copy !req
281. Better get that door.Copy !req
282. Iiiiiiii, hello.Copy !req
283. I want your cookies.Copy !req
284. I'm hungry, I want your cookies.Copy !req
285. Scorpions, scorpions.Copy !req
286. There's scorpions outside.
Get inside.Copy !req
287. What do they want from us?Copy !req
288. They want food. Me too.Copy !req
289. Okay, just stop.Copy !req
290. I'm not a writer, okay?Copy !req
291. Relax, your story was supposed
to be awful and stupid.Copy !req
292. I just failed to
predict how well.Copy !req
293. That would mesh with the theme.Copy !req
294. Think. Think.Copy !req
295. What kind of story
would we never...Copy !req
296. Morty, do you know
what the bechdel test is?Copy !req
297. The what? For god's sake, morty,Copy !req
298. The formula for
measuring female agency.Copy !req
299. In a story proposed by
lesbian cartoonist allison...Copy !req
300. What the hell are they
teaching you in that school?Copy !req
301. Other stuff!
Then you've killed us both!Copy !req
302. Why is lesbian part
of her job title?Copy !req
303. Oh, now you're progressive?Copy !req
304. What is the test?
You have to tell...Copy !req
305. Morty, morty.Copy !req
306. Two women.
They both have to have names.Copy !req
307. And talk to each other
about something...Copy !req
308. Rick!Copy !req
309. Other than a man...
Oh, rick, listen to me.Copy !req
310. Once upon a time,
my mom and my sister...Copy !req
311. Listen to me!Copy !req
312. Mom, can I try your tea?Copy !req
313. Yes, summer.Copy !req
314. Yes. Try my tea.Copy !req
315. It's so good. It's so warm.Copy !req
316. Mom, can I talk to you.Copy !req
317. About my special time?Copy !req
318. It's okay. I have one, too.Copy !req
319. Mine is heavy today.Copy !req
320. Mine is never light.Copy !req
321. I love you ever
since you were...Copy !req
322. Mailed to me.Copy !req
323. By a doctor woman.Copy !req
324. Your special time is your power.Copy !req
325. It makes you strong like a boob.Copy !req
326. Strong against what?Copy !req
327. Scorpions. Female scorpions.Copy !req
328. They're attacking
outside. Come on.Copy !req
329. Fight them with your
heavy special time.Copy !req
330. You do it, too.Copy !req
331. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
332. I'm that supreme court lady,
and you did it.Copy !req
333. We did it! We did it!Copy !req
334. Great job, morty.Copy !req
335. A feminist masterpiece.Copy !req
336. Hey, look.Copy !req
337. Guess who's got two penises
and all the agency?Copy !req
338. Rick and morty.Copy !req
339. Story lord.Copy !req
340. I should've known you were
behind this, and I did.Copy !req
341. Who is this guy? Ugh.Copy !req
342. He's like a matrix
space frasier.Copy !req
343. Let's get this fight
over with, nerd.Copy !req
344. I've got to do.Copy !req
345. You of all people know, rick,Copy !req
346. There can be no destination
without a journey.Copy !req
347. I don't know that at all.
I regularly teleport.Copy !req
348. Oh, of course. No rules for you.Copy !req
349. Spiraling through
the multiverse,Copy !req
350. Burping semi-improvised dialogue
about how nothing matters,Copy !req
351. So we may as well pull out
our and rub them.Copy !req
352. On fate's glaring teeth
like we're brushing fate's teeth.Copy !req
353. But we're using your gross,
dirtyCopy !req
354. Must be nice.Copy !req
355. nobody's stopping you.Copy !req
356. True. Not anymore.Copy !req
357. Goddamn! We already did this.Copy !req
358. Oh, is this a double beat?
Oh, well.Copy !req
359. Just how I adventure, dawg.Copy !req
360. This is more impressive than.Copy !req
361. The tickets please guy, though.Copy !req
362. You are like 90% gutter.Copy !req
363. It's called discipline.
Watch this.Copy !req
364. God damn. Geez!Copy !req
365. Do we have to fight him?Copy !req
366. I don't want to.Copy !req
367. We surrender.
We're not fighting.Copy !req
368. ow!Copy !req
369. Ow!Copy !req
370. kick your ass.Copy !req
371. Ow!Copy !req
372. Oh!Copy !req
373. hey! Get back in your egg!Copy !req
374. - What the...
- Don't worry, morty!Copy !req
375. Nothing out there is canon!Copy !req
376. We've got a pulse.
Stay with me, private.Copy !req
377. Smith, listen to me.
You were exposed.Copy !req
378. To a chemical that is
altering your mind.Copy !req
379. To beat it,
you have to hold on...Copy !req
380. We're losing him.Copy !req
381. Aliens. Sarge?Copy !req
382. Morty, never forget the highest
truth of all...Copy !req
383. You're getting your
ass kicked on a train.Copy !req
384. Professor sanchez?Copy !req
385. Did it work?Copy !req
386. I wouldn't say that, marcus.Copy !req
387. I'd say it worked.Copy !req
388. 100% time dilation
and total immersion.Copy !req
389. Define "total." marcus,Copy !req
390. I've been back in reality
for three hours,Copy !req
391. And I still have memories
of a completely different life.Copy !req
392. I-I-I was a scientist still.Copy !req
393. I-I-I was... I-I-I had developed.Copy !req
394. Inter-dimensional travel,
I-I-I-I had a daughter.Copy !req
395. I-I didn't have a mustache.Copy !req
396. I-I was kinda funny sometimes,
mostly burping.Copy !req
397. No more secret testing.Copy !req
398. I can help people now.Copy !req
399. You've helped people.Copy !req
400. I've hurt more.Copy !req
401. Aaah!Copy !req
402. P-p-professor sanchez.
I-I'm morty smith.Copy !req
403. From the... the...
The the 241st.Copy !req
404. They... they... put your
pill in our food.Copy !req
405. It... it works. Call the police!Copy !req
406. It's okay. It's okay.
It's not real.Copy !req
407. N-n-n-n-nothing's real.Copy !req
408. I'm sorry, son.Copy !req
409. I-I-it's okay. You aren't real.Copy !req
410. God, you're right.
I should do more freeform stuff.Copy !req
411. In you go. What's happening?Copy !req
412. The reason I brought you here.Copy !req
413. I'll now fuel
my anthology with your.Copy !req
414. Limitless potential,
propelling it to.Copy !req
415. Its final stop...
Beyond the fifth wall.Copy !req
416. You idiot. Our potential
isn't limitless.Copy !req
417. You'll never break
the fifth wall.Copy !req
418. Before you've burnt us out.Copy !req
419. Is that so? Oh, well. Win-win.Copy !req
420. Rick, w-what's he doing?Copy !req
421. He's trying to tap
into us, morty.Copy !req
422. Resist.Copy !req
423. I can't believe you're finally
headed off to college.Copy !req
424. Yeah, you know,
it really felt like.Copy !req
425. You were gonna be 17 forever.Copy !req
426. For, like, 16 years, at least.Copy !req
427. I can't believe
I'm tearing up over this.Copy !req
428. Jesus, rick, you know,
you've really softened up.Copy !req
429. It's a human moment, morty.Copy !req
430. It's a human moment.Copy !req
431. Aaah! Aaah! It hurts!Copy !req
432. Abradolph lincoler?
I thought you were dead.Copy !req
433. I'm very much alive,
and I need your help.Copy !req
434. Yeah!Copy !req
435. he's taking
the good stuff, morty.Copy !req
436. Wait, is...
Is any of this canon?Copy !req
437. It could have been.Copy !req
438. oh, dear.Copy !req
439. Are there things rick sanchez
holds sacred after all?Copy !req
440. How did you find us?Copy !req
441. I trusted you!Copy !req
442. Don't blame others
for your bad decisions.Copy !req
443. Resist, morty!
Resist before he burns us out!Copy !req
444. Oh, too late now!Copy !req
445. What's wrong, rick?Copy !req
446. Don't you want to see
how your story ends?Copy !req
447. Holy, rick.
What do we...Copy !req
448. There... there...
There's now way out!Copy !req
449. You're right, morty.Copy !req
450. Sometimes it does seem
like there's no way out.Copy !req
451. Like it's hopeless.Copy !req
452. But remember, there's always
someone there for us.Copy !req
453. Who?Copy !req
454. My best friend
and personal savior,Copy !req
455. Jesus christ.Copy !req
456. What? You... you don't
believe in god.Copy !req
457. But he believes in us, morty.Copy !req
458. You know, I thought
I was the inventor,Copy !req
459. But the greatest
invention of all.Copy !req
460. Is the free gift
of eternal life.Copy !req
461. Is this...
Are you with me?Copy !req
462. oh, trust me, morty.Copy !req
463. I've done plenty of
effed up stuff in my life.Copy !req
464. But it's never too late
to accept christ.Copy !req
465. Jesus is always
knocking at the door.Copy !req
466. All we have to do
is open it and let him.Copy !req
467. Into our hearts. How?Copy !req
468. I'm so glad you asked, morty.Copy !req
469. Just close your eyes
and go to him in prayer.Copy !req
470. Like this.Copy !req
471. Heavenly father.
Heavenly father.Copy !req
472. Thank you for sending
your only begotten son.Copy !req
473. What a second, no!
What are you doing?Copy !req
474. Jesus, I accept you
into my heart.Copy !req
475. No! This sucks.Copy !req
476. Stop! You guys would
never do this.Copy !req
477. Fill me with your spirit.Copy !req
478. Make me a shining city
on a hill for you.Copy !req
479. - No! No!
- Make me born again.Copy !req
480. - No!
- In Jesus' name, we pray.Copy !req
481. - Amen.
- Amen.Copy !req
482. - Amen!
- You did it!Copy !req
483. Way to go, morty! Crossy.Copy !req
484. Bible-saurus. You made it.Copy !req
485. We wouldn't miss this
for anything!Copy !req
486. You said it, mr. Celery.Copy !req
487. What the
is all of this?Copy !req
488. Greatest story
ever told, story lord.Copy !req
489. No, it's not. It's awful!Copy !req
490. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
491. Ah!Copy !req
492. Goddamn.Copy !req
493. my lord and my god!Copy !req
494. - No! No! It sucks in here.
- Let's get theCopy !req
495. Outta here. Go, now.Copy !req
496. Ugh. We're safe, morty.Copy !req
497. Nobody ever wanted
to see that shit.Copy !req
498. Wh-what's gonna happen
to story lord?Copy !req
499. He gets to spend eternity in
every writer's hell...Copy !req
500. The bible. I don't know.Copy !req
501. Some people actually
like that stuff.Copy !req
502. Seems kind of cynical.Copy !req
503. I just don't like taking
cheap shots, you know?Copy !req
504. Cheap shots?
Morty, we were literally.Copy !req
505. Saved by Jesus christ.Copy !req
506. Tell me in any way
how that's offensive.Copy !req
507. This was a little confusing,Copy !req
508. But I guess it brought us
closer together, you know?Copy !req
509. Tested our demons.Copy !req
510. Made us believe in
ourselves more than ever.Copy !req
511. Yeah. You're right, morty.Copy !req
512. We got all that meta-canon
shit outta the way.Copy !req
513. And now we can
just be ourselves.Copy !req
514. Now what do you say we
bring this train.Copy !req
515. Into the station.Copy !req
516. OhCopy !req
517. So what do you think?Copy !req
518. Wow. Where did you
get this thing?Copy !req
519. The citadel of ricks gift shop.Copy !req
520. Do you really like it?
I didn't think you'd even care.Copy !req
521. What? Morty. No. I love it.Copy !req
522. You did the most
important thing.Copy !req
523. You... you bought something.Copy !req
524. What? You bought something.Copy !req
525. With money. God.
I love money so much, morty.Copy !req
526. Are you being sarcastic?
Merchandise, morty.Copy !req
527. Your only purpose in life is to
buy and consume merchandise.Copy !req
528. And you did it.
You went into a store...Copy !req
529. An actual honest to god store...
And you bought something.Copy !req
530. You didn't ask questions
or raise ethical complaints.Copy !req
531. You... you just looked straight
into the bleeding jaws.Copy !req
532. Of capitalism
and said "yes, daddy, please."Copy !req
533. And I'm... I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
534. I only wish you could've
bought more.Copy !req
535. I... I love buying things
so much, morty.Copy !req
536. Rick, are... are you...Copy !req
537. Do you need to go
to the hospital?Copy !req
538. I love you, morty.
Give grandpa a kiss.Copy !req
539. Give... give... gimme...
Give grandpa a kiss.Copy !req
540. Lips if you want.Copy !req
541. What... whatever
you're comfortable with.Copy !req
542. Some cultures do that.Copy !req
543. That was sweet. Thank you.Copy !req
544. I... I love you.
You're my little buddy.Copy !req
545. Okay.Copy !req
546. Let's watch some
interdimensional cable.Copy !req
547. So you're saying my father.Copy !req
548. And his kingdom...Copy !req
549. Well, yes...
It's based on the fusion.Copy !req
550. Of a sumerian god named "ya".Copy !req
551. And a mesopotamian god
named "way."Copy !req
552. And we're in a toy train?Copy !req
553. Yes.Copy !req
554. It's enough to really
make you question.Copy !req
555. All of existence, isn't it?Copy !req
556. So what do you think you're
gonna do about it?Copy !req
557. I'm gonna do
what I've always done.Copy !req
558. I'm gonna get the
outta here.Copy !req
559. Father of omens!
Give me blood beyond sight!Copy !req
560. Hey, what the morty?Copy !req
561. The train you got me just
completely derailed itself.Copy !req
562. There's blood all over
the windows on it.Copy !req
563. Oh, man, I'm sorry, rick.
I guess I'll return it.Copy !req
564. Return... are you insane?Copy !req
565. Did you hear nothing I said?Copy !req
566. Buy another one, morty.Copy !req
567. Consume, morty.Copy !req
568. Nobody's out there shopping
with this virus.Copy !req
569. Where's your wallet?Copy !req
570. Tired of the same
boring adventures.Copy !req
571. With your dogshit morty?Copy !req
572. Yeah! Aw. Geez.Copy !req
573. Then get ready for the citadel
of rick's story train.Copy !req
574. Story train.
Story train.Copy !req
575. The citadel of rick's
story train.Copy !req
576. Comes with car after car
of enemies, lovers,Copy !req
577. And goomby, all grappling with.Copy !req
578. The nature of who you truly are.Copy !req
579. Rick is a god! Tickets please.Copy !req
580. Whoa! Watch out!
It's story lord!Copy !req
581. Damn. He's jacked.Copy !req
582. Deep voice: Pure gutter.Copy !req
583. And of course, what
story would be complete.Copy !req
584. Without the engineer of
the greatest story ever told.Copy !req
585. Oh, Jesus christ.Copy !req
586. I have come not to judge.Copy !req
587. The world, but to save it.Copy !req
588. And the best part is,
the fun never ends.Copy !req
589. Thanks to the rick-patented
anthology generator,Copy !req
590. You'll never run out
of new stories.Copy !req
591. And people to tell them.Copy !req
592. Are they alive? Of course.Copy !req
593. But not in any ways that matter.Copy !req
594. Deep voice:
They. Have. No. Souls.Copy !req
595. Puppets. Of. Fate.Copy !req
596. The story train.Copy !req
597. Available now in
the citadel of ricks.Copy !req
598. Buy it ironically.
Buy it sincerely. Just buy it.Copy !req
599. Not buying it is an act
of buying it.Copy !req
600. Buy it now. Look it up.
It's real.Copy !req
601. Www.Story-train.Com.Copy !req
602. On the internet. It's there.
Buy it. Buy the train.Copy !req
603. We want you to buy the train.Copy !req