1. So, Jessica,
I heard you broke up with Brad.Copy !req
2. Who are you gonna date
now that you can date anyone?Copy !req
3. I don't know.Copy !req
4. I mean, obviously if someone
special comes along...Copy !req
5. B-But I mean
really special, like,Copy !req
6. nothing I've even remotely
considered in the past.Copy !req
7. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. I want that
kind of love like that docking kind of love.Copy !req
8. Oh, yeah. Like, penis in the
foreskin kind of love...Copy !req
9. Mm-hmm... just, like,
warm, just like...Copy !req
10. He...Copy !req
11. Everybody off.Copy !req
12. Morty, I need your help.Copy !req
13. W-W-W-We... We need to go
on a quick adventure.Copy !req
14. You said
I could go to school today.Copy !req
15. That was before
I needed something, Morty.Copy !req
16. There's a plasma shard
in the Abadango Cluster.Copy !req
17. A princess has it.
If I get it, I'll be awesome.Copy !req
18. We've been going non-stop, Rick.
It's not healthy.Copy !req
19. You know,
these are my teenage years.Copy !req
20. I-I just found out
Jessica's single.Copy !req
21. Oh, that's... Wow, Morty. Wow.
What an exciting life you lead.Copy !req
22. Let's go. In and out,
20 minutes adventure.Copy !req
23. They're on our tail!Copy !req
24. Steady, Morty.
Five cetons.Copy !req
25. Steady, God damn it!
Two cetons.Copy !req
26. Wha!Copy !req
27. Fire!Copy !req
28. Pull up, Morty, pull up!
Pull up!Copy !req
29. _Bleep_Copy !req
30. Oh,Copy !req
31. _Bleep_.Copy !req
32. Ahh! Ahh!Copy !req
33. I can't do this
anymore!Copy !req
34. That was seriously up.
We almost died.Copy !req
35. So you agree? yes!
That w... T-This was insane!Copy !req
36. That was pure luck.Copy !req
37. I was not in control
of that situation at all.Copy !req
38. Look at this, Morty.
Look at my hand.Copy !req
39. Look at this shit. Why do
you keep doing this to us?Copy !req
40. I don't know, Morty.Copy !req
41. Maybe I hate myself,
maybe I think I deserve to die.Copy !req
42. I-I-I-I don't...
I don't know!Copy !req
43. We need a vacation.Copy !req
44. Isn't that something?
You were right...Copy !req
45. Best day spa
in the galaxy.Copy !req
46. It's not even cruel, either.Copy !req
47. These things are just doing what
they do in the wild...Copy !req
48. It loves swallowing
stressed-out creaturesCopy !req
49. for 20 minutes
and then puking them up.Copy !req
50. My whole body's
like a baby's ass.Copy !req
51. Complimentary
psychological detox?Copy !req
52. Removes
all your cognitive toxins,Copy !req
53. purifies your system.Copy !req
54. Oof, this guy on commission
or something?Copy !req
55. I don't think...
Are you on commission?Copy !req
56. We're not on commission.Copy !req
57. We get paid by the hour.Copy !req
58. There's no incentive
really...Copy !req
59. Oh, my God.
Okay, listen...Copy !req
60. W-W-W-We'll try
the machine,Copy !req
61. but... but I'd like you
to try something.Copy !req
62. Try swallowing
the giant ball of snotCopy !req
63. that's dangling around
in the back of your throat.Copy !req
64. It's disgusting.Copy !req
65. Nobody wants to hear that.Copy !req
66. That's what you do. Okay,
Rick, come on. Enough.Copy !req
67. Man, did you hear me bite
that guy's head off?Copy !req
68. Geez, I really need
to chill.Copy !req
69. Maybe you
should go through twice.Copy !req
70. All right, mister comedy man, you don't have
to bust my balls. You're not helping things.Copy !req
71. Rick, is
this thing supposed to be making this...Copy !req
72. Morty!Copy !req
73. Ri-Rick...
Morty!Copy !req
74. What happened?Copy !req
75. We blew up, idiot!
Are you really that stupid?Copy !req
76. Obviously the guy I yelled at
overloaded the machine.Copy !req
77. It takes more than that to kill
Rick and Morty, mother!Copy !req
78. But this might do it.Copy !req
79. Run, Morty!
E-Everything hurts!Copy !req
80. That's because
you're worthless!Copy !req
81. Jesus,
how big was this explosion?Copy !req
82. I'm a genius. I don't have time
for this.Copy !req
83. W-W-We're in Hell,
aren't we, Rick?Copy !req
84. You're so stupid, Morty.
You're an Idiot.Copy !req
85. There's no such thing as Hell.Copy !req
86. I believe you,
but I just want to die.Copy !req
87. You can die when I say so.
I control you.Copy !req
88. I control the universe!
Why am I bragging about that?Copy !req
89. I have nothing to prove.Copy !req
90. I'm surrounded by inferior
pieces of and...Copy !req
91. Toxins.Copy !req
92. We're not in Hell, Morty.
We're in the detoxifier.Copy !req
93. The machine didn't blow up.
It worked normally.Copy !req
94. It removed our toxins.Copy !req
95. We're the toxins.Copy !req
96. Are you listening,Copy !req
97. you stupid little
garbage person?Copy !req
98. We're what got removed!Copy !req
99. I hope you both found that detox
sufficiently relaxing.Copy !req
100. Hey, man, listen... Those comments
I made about your throat?Copy !req
101. It's all good.Copy !req
102. It's nice of you
to let me off the hook.Copy !req
103. It's still unacceptable
behavior, and I do regret it.Copy !req
104. Believe me, man, I've been
working here a long time.Copy !req
105. I get it.Copy !req
106. Hey, uh, you mind
if I put on some music?Copy !req
107. Not at all.Copy !req
108. What is that?
I just hit shuffle.Copy !req
109. Are you kidding?Copy !req
110. This universe.
Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
111. We should listen to one random
song a day, you know?Copy !req
112. We'd end up hearing
more songs we didn't like,Copy !req
113. but we'd discover
a lot more that we did.Copy !req
114. That is
an interesting concept.Copy !req
115. You know,
it makes me wonderCopy !req
116. if there's
an algorithmic expressionCopy !req
117. that could achieve
the ideal ratio.Copy !req
118. Listen to me...Copy !req
119. trying to calculate
happiness over here.Copy !req
120. Hoo, if anyone could,
Rick.Copy !req
121. Hey, here's something
no science could measure...Copy !req
122. I'm real proud
to be your grandpa, Morty.Copy !req
123. Thanks, Rick.
I love you.Copy !req
124. Yeah, mother!
Yeah! Get it! Get some!Copy !req
125. Right up your bitch ass,
you!Copy !req
126. Guess who just discovered
a new element?Copy !req
127. You think you could do that,
Morty?Copy !req
128. You think anyone but me could do
that ever in a billion years?Copy !req
129. Do you think if God existed
he could do it?Copy !req
130. The answer is no.Copy !req
131. If God exists,
it's me.Copy !req
132. Yes, Rick.
I-I agree, Rick.Copy !req
133. While you were
flapping your parasitic turd holster,Copy !req
134. I discovered the toxic equivalent
of electricity, Morty.Copy !req
135. What do you think
about that?Copy !req
136. Uh... I th... I think my voice
is annoying.Copy !req
137. It is,
and it's your best quality.Copy !req
138. So true.Copy !req
139. Now, who can tell me
the common denominatorCopy !req
140. of these two factions?Copy !req
141. You don't know
or y'all just bored?Copy !req
142. Hey, listen, you know, wha...
If we're all bored over here,Copy !req
143. wouldn't the common denominator
be you?Copy !req
144. Damn, Morty.
That's hilarious.Copy !req
145. Normally I would come down
on any kind of disruption,Copy !req
146. but it seems to represent
a positive changeCopy !req
147. for your character.Copy !req
148. Class dismissed!Copy !req
149. - Awesome, Morty!
- You done good, Morty.Copy !req
150. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
151. Thanks for the advice, Morty.
You got it.Copy !req
152. I did it, Morty!
I knew you could.Copy !req
153. Hey, Morty,
remember yesterdayCopy !req
154. when I couldn't
play the trombone?Copy !req
155. Well, check this out!Copy !req
156. [ Plays "When the Saints
Come Marching In ]"Copy !req
157. Just like I told you,
Mitch...Copy !req
158. The music was in your heart
the whole time.Copy !req
159. Stupid hat... Wish I had
the courage to just be myself.Copy !req
160. There you are.Copy !req
161. You might have
all these idiots fooled,Copy !req
162. but I know you're still
the same pathetic loserCopy !req
163. hiding behind
a confident facade.Copy !req
164. I know that because...Copy !req
165. I'm doing the same thing,
brother.Copy !req
166. I'm not alone anymore!Copy !req
167. Hey, Morty. Word around school
is you've become super healthy.Copy !req
168. I don't know
about all that.Copy !req
169. I do, however, know that I have
a pretty bad case ofCopy !req
170. haven't taken you
to dinner-itis.Copy !req
171. Might be fatal.Copy !req
172. Hey, kids.
Uh, hope I'm not interrupting.Copy !req
173. Morty,
a moment of your time?Copy !req
174. Happy to help, Rick.Copy !req
175. I hate to bug you
with this,Copy !req
176. but after our morning hike
I started receiving very faint,Copy !req
177. highly unusual transmissions
on my sub ether phone.Copy !req
178. Listen.Copy !req
179. It's a bad phone.
Chuck it.Copy !req
180. I downgraded to a clamshell
for emergencies only.Copy !req
181. You know, if... if... if
something's worth saying,Copy !req
182. I-it's worth eye contact.Copy !req
183. Uh, I-I-I traced
the source of the callCopy !req
184. back to the spa we went to,
Morty.Copy !req
185. I thought I could hear
a voice in there,Copy !req
186. so I enhanced it, a-and listen.Copy !req
187. Gunk Rick: Hey, asshole!
Gunk Morty: Oh, man!Copy !req
188. Remember us?
Oh, I don't like confrontation!Copy !req
189. You us,
you pieces of garbage!Copy !req
190. That's right,
you're garbage, not us.Copy !req
191. I'm a genius
and a god.Copy !req
192. You really think
this thing can hold me?Copy !req
193. I'm gonna rip your throatCopy !req
194. Morty, what if the toxic parts
of us have their own identities,Copy !req
195. their own will to live?Copy !req
196. W-What if mine shares
my intelligenceCopy !req
197. and devised a way
to reach out to us?Copy !req
198. Sounds like
he's in a lot of pain.Copy !req
199. Lot. O. Pain.Copy !req
200. But, you know, you shouldn't
have to deal with that, man.Copy !req
201. You know,
l-let's work off your traumaCopy !req
202. with some urban spin yoga.Copy !req
203. It's amazing.
You do yoga on a bike,Copy !req
204. but you have
an at-risk preteen...Copy !req
205. I don't think I can
just blow this off, Morty.Copy !req
206. If I had known it worked this
way, I wouldn't have detoxed.Copy !req
207. Well, I would have
because I was toxic.Copy !req
208. Now I'm detoxed and I'm
accountable to my toxins, right?Copy !req
209. I-It's a dilemma.
I think I know what to do.Copy !req
210. Morty!
Rick!Copy !req
211. You know, the only problem here
is a big fat brainCopy !req
212. that misses eating
all them big fat problems.Copy !req
213. Focus on the good thing.
Trust me, things are good.Copy !req
214. Taking that away from me...Copy !req
215. That wouldn't be
healthy.Copy !req
216. Oh, man. World's Greatest
Grandpa, for reals.Copy !req
217. It's not just a coffee cup
for you, bud.Copy !req
218. You're legit.Copy !req
219. I love drums.
I never took drum lessons.Copy !req
220. Why? Limitations. We are
addicted to our own limitations.Copy !req
221. How amazing is that?Copy !req
222. Is the kale prepared
in the kitchen?Copy !req
223. I'll have a water.
Uh...Copy !req
224. How is the...
"cru-dite?"Copy !req
225. Crudité.
It's a cup of carrot sticks.Copy !req
226. Ha! It's okay!
Pronounce it however you want.Copy !req
227. Words are just things.
Please. Thank you.Copy !req
228. We're having
a conversation.Copy !req
229. God, I am so excited
to finally have dinner with you.Copy !req
230. You know how
long I've been waiting for this?Copy !req
231. It's like, whew!Copy !req
232. I-I-I wish you'd shut up,
though.Copy !req
233. Just kidding. You know,
you're so quiet. What's wrong?Copy !req
234. W-Why don't you tell me
about yourself?Copy !req
235. What's the atmosphere like
on planet Jessica?Copy !req
236. Where's the equator,
what are the vacations,Copy !req
237. a-and the holidays?Copy !req
238. I mean, you know,
are they the same time?Copy !req
239. Talk to me. Well... I...
like this restaurant.Copy !req
240. Holy! Holy!
We have a moron over here!Copy !req
241. I'm an idiot.Copy !req
242. I can't believe I haven't
thought of this.Copy !req
243. You have to do
this detox thing I did.Copy !req
244. It's an alien spa,
you go through it,Copy !req
245. fwoos-s-s-ssh,Copy !req
246. lasers, bwaa-bwaa-bwaa...Copy !req
247. sucks everything out.Copy !req
248. Everything that was holding me
back, everything bad,Copy !req
249. I mean, it just...Copy !req
250. Right?Copy !req
251. Cooooool.Copy !req
252. Oh, my God!
I can't believe this.Copy !req
253. Yeah, phones are awful,
I downgraded to...Copy !req
254. I totally forgot my...Copy !req
255. I have a... thing, and...Copy !req
256. Things are good. You know what?
Why am I doing that?Copy !req
257. That's more rude
than the truth.Copy !req
258. Look, I'm sorry, Morty.
I just don't think...Copy !req
259. Do not. Even.
You have no need to explain.Copy !req
260. It's all good. I think
you'd get bored with me.Copy !req
261. E-Exactly.
Look, the sparks aren't flying.Copy !req
262. This is what dating is for,
you know?Copy !req
263. First date, no sparks.Copy !req
264. No damage, no worries.
Life is a highway.Copy !req
265. We're gonna ride it
all night lonnngg!Copy !req
266. Gonna eat some "crudite."
Mmm!Copy !req
267. Is this organic? Mmm.
All right.Copy !req
268. You know,
the evening continues.Copy !req
269. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
270. Ma'am, I'm afraid I have
some bad news for you.Copy !req
271. Your money's no good here.Copy !req
272. I'll... I'll get the next round,
sir.Copy !req
273. Aren't you a child? Only
in the ways that matter.Copy !req
274. Morty.
Stacy.Copy !req
275. I've been watching you drink,
Stacy.Copy !req
276. I get the feeling
you've got a hard job.Copy !req
277. I wonder what it takes
to please you.Copy !req
278. That's the job I want...
Part time, full time,Copy !req
279. I want to be good at it,
bad at it,Copy !req
280. I want to get promoted, fired,
corner office, hostile takeover,Copy !req
281. workplace accident...
I'm on my knees, Stacy...Copy !req
282. Praying, worshipping, begging,
whatever you want.Copy !req
283. What do you think about that?Copy !req
284. Okay. It.Copy !req
285. Tink.Copy !req
286. Mm!Copy !req
287. Let's ask my grandpa.
He's a scientist.Copy !req
288. Hey, Rick, are you familiar
with "benoi" technology?Copy !req
289. Morty, great news.Copy !req
290. I went back to the spa
and they let me purchaseCopy !req
291. the containment unit
from their detoxifier.Copy !req
292. Why? Because we're
coming home, bitch!Copy !req
293. What is this? This is the parts of
your pussy grandpa that keep it real.Copy !req
294. Oh... oh, and I think you
dropped something, too!Copy !req
295. I don't want to be
on camera.Copy !req
296. I'm ugly and gross,
please.Copy !req
297. Should I go? You're
your own person, Stacy.Copy !req
298. Then I'd like to stay.Copy !req
299. Rick, please tell meCopy !req
300. you're not trying to put
that stuff back inside of us.Copy !req
301. Morty, I'm sorry. That stuff
is alive and it belongs with us.Copy !req
302. We yanked them from their homes
and locked them in a can.Copy !req
303. Mother!Copy !req
304. See?
They're living in pain.Copy !req
305. That's what they do, Rick,
they live in pain.Copy !req
306. They are pain, you know?Copy !req
307. They... they're all the bad
parts of us, which, by the way,Copy !req
308. includes our dishonesty,Copy !req
309. so how do you know this isn't
all some sort of crazy trick?Copy !req
310. Oh, so now because I'm made
entirely of toxins I'm also a liar?Copy !req
311. you,
you little sociopath.Copy !req
312. You hear this, Morty? Oh,
everybody hates me. I can tell.Copy !req
313. Y-You all hate me... All
right, shut up, Morty.Copy !req
314. Healthy Rick,
are we doing this or what?Copy !req
315. Yep. Sorry, Morty. I need you
to step into the booth.Copy !req
316. Don't negotiate
with that little turd, dummy.Copy !req
317. You're the Rick.
You need to show dominance.Copy !req
318. Morty, booth, now. Booth!Copy !req
319. Come on, Morty.
Don't touch me!Copy !req
320. Morty, do the healthy thing and
voluntarily retoxify yourself.Copy !req
321. Nooooo!Copy !req
322. Is it wrong if I think
this is kind of hot?Copy !req
323. Let me out of here!
Stacy, help! Open the door!Copy !req
324. I need to hear our safe word,
Morty.Copy !req
325. Sea Cucumber!
Sea Cucumber!Copy !req
326. What are you doing? I'll do
anything for you, Morty.Copy !req
327. No!Copy !req
328. It worked! Yes!
That idiot believed every word.Copy !req
329. Now let's see how he enjoys
living in that shit tank.Copy !req
330. He's right behind me,
isn't he?Copy !req
331. He's in front of you. Oh. My
eyes are still adjusting.Copy !req
332. Uh, is this like
a sex dungeon?Copy !req
333. I guess I should've been
paying attention.Copy !req
334. After 70 years
of being bottled upCopy !req
335. inside a
sentimental jackass,Copy !req
336. I finally get to live
my own life.Copy !req
337. You said we were merging. I lied, dumb-ass!
I lie about everything!Copy !req
338. Why would I ever re-merge
with a pussy like you?Copy !req
339. So... you were just gonna trap us
in that tank?Copy !req
340. T-That was your plan? Not was,
mother... still is.Copy !req
341. - Kill him, Rick!Copy !req
342. I don't like this!
This is scary!Copy !req
343. All right,
you asked for it.Copy !req
344. Did I ask for this?Copy !req
345. Did I ask for this?
Huh? Did I?Copy !req
346. Assessing threat to groin.Copy !req
347. Groin System 6000.
Kill him!Copy !req
348. That... is my groin's user.Copy !req
349. Believe me, I got a lot more use
out of that thingCopy !req
350. than he ever did.Copy !req
351. You know what?
Not my table.Copy !req
352. You do know me.Copy !req
353. What the hell,
Grandpa Rick?Copy !req
354. you, Summer!
Sorry, Summer!Copy !req
355. Okay, okay, take it easy.
Don't do it.Copy !req
356. I love you. Good boy.Copy !req
357. Daddy's little boy.Copy !req
358. Summer,
get out of here! Go!Copy !req
359. Oh, who's that?Copy !req
360. Whos
that over there?Copy !req
361. Oh, no. You see the bad man
in front of you?Copy !req
362. You're a good little boy,
you're gonna get him.Copy !req
363. You're gonna get him.Copy !req
364. Ahh!Copy !req
365. Son of a...Copy !req
366. Ahh!Copy !req
367. Nice try, asshole.Copy !req
368. We can resolve
our issues.Copy !req
369. We don't need to resort
to over-the-top...Copy !req
370. Aah!Copy !req
371. I-I did it, Rick.
I got the tank!Copy !req
372. I-I'm a piece of,
but I got the tank!Copy !req
373. You're going in that tank,
mother.Copy !req
374. You're gonna live in
that toxic wastelandCopy !req
375. like I had to do!Copy !req
376. Ahh! Ow!Copy !req
377. Gunk Rick: That's right, mother...
You're going in that ...Copy !req
378. Dads?Copy !req
379. Okay, just...
Just leave her out of it.Copy !req
380. What's going on?Copy !req
381. All right, this.
Time for plan B...Copy !req
382. If I can't trap you
in a toxic world,Copy !req
383. I'll just make the whole world
toxic.Copy !req
384. It's okay, girls.Copy !req
385. I-I'm so sorry I put us in
danger with some of my behavior.Copy !req
386. I-If you'd like I can go out
in the g-garden,Copy !req
387. pick some fresh basil,
and make us a nice Scallopini.Copy !req
388. What did the booger version
of you meanCopy !req
389. when he said he was going
to make the whole world toxic?Copy !req
390. Believe me, sweetie, that man's
motivations are a mystery.Copy !req
391. Screw that, Rick.
We got to stop him.Copy !req
392. What's the last thing you'd think
about doing with that tank thing?Copy !req
393. Morty, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,Copy !req
394. but it's not our place,
you know,Copy !req
395. to pick and choose which world
gets saved from what apocalypse.Copy !req
396. Our... our toxins have as much
a right to their worldview as...Copy !req
397. Morty, how is it healthy
to slap me?Copy !req
398. Obviously
my version of healthCopy !req
399. is a hell of a lot different
from yours,Copy !req
400. you useless old turd.Copy !req
401. Wait. That's it.Copy !req
402. How could that detox machine
know the differenceCopy !req
403. between healthy and sick for
everything that goes through it?Copy !req
404. It can't.Copy !req
405. It must be by the individual's
own definition of toxicity.Copy !req
406. That means...Copy !req
407. Dad! What the...
What the hell, Rick?Copy !req
408. I'll explain on the way.Copy !req
409. Gunk Rick:
This "Moon Tower," Morty,Copy !req
410. Is the perfect height
and metallic compositionCopy !req
411. for the amplification
and beaming of toxic energies.Copy !req
412. What do you think about that,
Morty?Copy !req
413. Are you excited about that,
Morty?Copy !req
414. Oh, man. I'm just freaked out.
I-It's too high up here.Copy !req
415. Once I flip this switch,Copy !req
416. the entire world is gonna
be just as toxic as us, baby.Copy !req
417. As we
praise our loving Father...Copy !req
418. God is a lie!
We made him up for money!Copy !req
419. Santa Claus isn't real.Copy !req
420. You were all mistakes!Copy !req
421. We did it, Morty.Copy !req
422. Put your hands
in the air.Copy !req
423. Yeah, you little piece
of.Copy !req
424. Remember me?Copy !req
425. Didn't you learn last time
that you can't beat me?Copy !req
426. Yeah, I did. And then I learned
something else.Copy !req
427. This. Ahh! [
Screams, moans ]Copy !req
428. That bullet is laced with an
encrypted nanobotic virusCopy !req
429. that will disintegrate your
Morty in about, ah, 20 minutes.Copy !req
430. You think I give a?Copy !req
431. I know you give a,
dummy.Copy !req
432. Because I know I don't.Copy !req
433. Here's another thing
I know...Copy !req
434. The decryption key
that neutralizes the virus.Copy !req
435. You want it?
Come and get it.Copy !req
436. Merge with me and you'll know
how to save him.Copy !req
437. Pfft. Come on, man.
I've been trappedCopy !req
438. in your pussy brain
for 70 years of delusions,Copy !req
439. but this is the all-time weakest
bluff that I've ever...Copy !req
440. Ow-Ohh! Jesus Christ!
What are you doing?Copy !req
441. He's cutting your time in half.
10 minutes. Ohh! It hurts!Copy !req
442. What is your problem?Copy !req
443. Oh, I had all my problems
removed... my entitlement,Copy !req
444. my narcissism,
my crippling loneliness,Copy !req
445. my irrational attachments.Copy !req
446. They must be somewhere.
They ain't over here, bro.Copy !req
447. I'm not going back in there!Copy !req
448. Honestly,
I don't care either way.Copy !req
449. I hate having you in me.Copy !req
450. And when I say "honestly"
you can believe it,Copy !req
451. because we both know
I'm too healthy to lie.Copy !req
452. Watch.Copy !req
453. All right! Knock it off!
You're not impressing anyone.Copy !req
454. Morty, not that I give
a, but are you okay?Copy !req
455. Jesus Christ, it hurts.
Relax, quit your bitching.Copy !req
456. Y-You're gonna be fine.
Grandpa's here.Copy !req
457. You think that's funny?Copy !req
458. Y-You got to have a sense
of humor about these things.Copy !req
459. Oh, wait, you can't.Copy !req
460. You're literally incapable
of seeing the bigger picture.Copy !req
461. I guess it's just funny
because you've never doneCopy !req
462. anything but complain
about me being in charge,Copy !req
463. but if I ever gave you the wheel
we'd be dead in five minutes.Copy !req
464. - Rick?
- You poor, dumb, sick animal.Copy !req
465. Rick?Copy !req
466. Ahh! Just do it!Copy !req
467. Just do it, you piece of...Copy !req
468. I'm back, baby! Regular Rick!
Master of both worlds!Copy !req
469. Check it it out!Copy !req
470. "Excuse me."Copy !req
471. Now we'll just reverse
this hacky toxicity beam.Copy !req
472. Man, I really over think shit
when I'm angry.Copy !req
473. Oh, give it to me.Copy !req
474. Mm, ma-mah.Copy !req
475. God is not a lie.Copy !req
476. Mommy! Mommy!Copy !req
477. Ha! All right, Morty,Copy !req
478. now it's time we re-merge
your little ass.Copy !req
479. You're a better man
than me, Rick.Copy !req
480. I'm healthy
enough to admit that!Copy !req
481. That kid
is a real piece of.Copy !req
482. Y-Y-You're gonna save me,
right?Copy !req
483. Part of me wanted to,
Toxic Morty.Copy !req
484. Part of me
really wanted to.Copy !req
485. I'm telling you,
these shares are hot. Yeah.Copy !req
486. That sounds like a good idea.
It's definitely a good idea.Copy !req
487. Duane, Duane, Duane, I get it,
now can you get me?Copy !req
488. Have I ever lied to you?Copy !req
489. That's right, and ask around,
I never do, Duane.Copy !req
490. Let me put this real simple.Copy !req
491. This stock is a beautiful
redhead, recently single,Copy !req
492. not looking to date
but ready to fall in love,Copy !req
493. and fate has put her locker
two down from yours, Duane...Copy !req
494. Two lockers down.Copy !req
495. So step up or step off,
Duane.Copy !req
496. Blue pill or red pill,
what'll be, bro?Copy !req
497. Totally understand, Duane.Copy !req
498. You're the boss.Copy !req
499. Heinholz Biotech...Copy !req
500. Million and a half
at thirty-three.Copy !req
501. Heh.Copy !req
502. You little monster.Copy !req
503. Mmm! Is this organic?Copy !req
504. Mmm!Copy !req
505. Go for Morty.Copy !req
506. Hi, Morty. It's Jessica.Copy !req
507. Look, can we just talk
for a minute?Copy !req
508. Is that how long it takes
for Rick to trace my location?Copy !req
509. Come back, Morty.
I miss you.Copy !req
510. You miss the old me.Copy !req
511. You miss someone
that loved you so muchCopy !req
512. you never
had to love 'em back.Copy !req
513. How do you know
I don't want to love you?Copy !req
514. Because I'm not sick.
Ex-girlfriend?Copy !req
515. Should I be jealous? There's
nothing to be jealous of.Copy !req
516. I just realized that I'm scheduled
to speak at that fundraiserCopy !req
517. on our date night.Copy !req
518. I can cancel. We'll be together.
That's a date.Copy !req
519. You are the perfect man.Copy !req
520. Oh, sweetie, I think you hit
the wrong button.Copy !req
521. You didn't hang up.Copy !req
522. Huh. How 'bout that?Copy !req
523. Sorry, tiny American Psycho,Copy !req
524. time to take the opposite
of your medicine.Copy !req
525. Do what you got to do.Copy !req
526. Oh! Ow! Ahh!Copy !req
527. So, how do you feel,
Morty?Copy !req
528. Ah, geez. I'm miserable.
Am I good or what?Copy !req
529. I guess it's worth it, though,
to know how much you care.Copy !req
530. Care? Me?
Morty, I'm fine with you.Copy !req
531. I only did this for him.
You lying bitch.Copy !req
532. She kept coming to our house,
Morty, and kept asking me.Copy !req
533. "Did... did... d-did you get
a new Morty yet?"Copy !req
534. Because you kept drunk dialing
me and crying about it.Copy !req
535. I wasn't crying!Copy !req
536. Jacquelyn, I...Copy !req
537. I-I-I wasn't
who I said I was.Copy !req
538. You weren't a 14-year-old boy
from the MidwestCopy !req
539. who ran away from his family
and capitalizedCopy !req
540. on his lack of conscience
by becoming a stock broker?Copy !req
541. Oh. I guess I was pretty
up front about that, wasn't I?Copy !req
542. You were up front
about everything.Copy !req
543. You were my soul mate.Copy !req
544. Well...
N... Not anymore. I'll, um...Copy !req
545. Y-You can keep the apartment,Copy !req
546. and... and... and,
uh... the drones.Copy !req
547. She can't keep the drones.Copy !req
548. They turn into
a little Voltron robot.Copy !req
549. They're awesome.Copy !req
550. You can't keep the drones.Copy !req
551. So, how was your date
with Brad?Copy !req
552. It wasn't a date.
We were just having lunch.Copy !req
553. You guys are getting
back together, aren't you?Copy !req
554. Morty, I need your help
on an adventure.Copy !req
555. Eh, "need"
is a strong word.Copy !req
556. We need door stops,
but a brick would work, too.Copy !req
557. Okay.Copy !req
558. Morty.Copy !req
559. Good to have you back.Copy !req
560. Have you ever been peed on
before?Copy !req
561. Oh, my God. Yum.Copy !req
562. Although only a handful
of moon towers remain today,Copy !req
563. they were popular
in the late 19th century.Copy !req
564. An entire town could be
illuminated by...Copy !req
565. What the hell is this?Copy !req
566. Sea Cucumber!Copy !req
567. Sea Cucumber!Copy !req
568. Did you get any of that?Copy !req