1. Anyway, that's how I escaped
from space prison!Copy !req
2. Oh! Scary place.Copy !req
3. Wow, Rick! That's... That's one...
one heck of a story.Copy !req
4. I sure do wish I could've been
there to see it happen.Copy !req
5. Oh, come on. Who wants
to watch a mad scientistCopy !req
6. use handmade sci-fi toolsCopy !req
7. to take out highly trained alien guardsCopy !req
8. when we can sit here and be
a family at Shoney's?Copy !req
9. Dad, it's great to have you back,
no matter where we are.Copy !req
10. But wouldn't you like to go home?Copy !req
11. Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.Copy !req
12. Yeah, but you just got out of prison.Copy !req
13. I mean, how much
of a step up from that is...Copy !req
14. Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,Copy !req
15. - and fold yourself 12 times.
- You got it.Copy !req
16. Six folds, huh?Copy !req
17. W-What, have you guys
got me in a Series 9000?Copy !req
18. You cheap insect fucks
didn't think I was worthCopy !req
19. your best equipment?Copy !req
20. Man, I told the money bugs.Copy !req
21. I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?Copy !req
22. You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammalCopy !req
23. in the galaxy, you'd better
give me a decent brainalyzer."Copy !req
24. Well, you might as well order
some pancakes,Copy !req
25. because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.Copy !req
26. Oh, I think you do.Copy !req
27. Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...Copy !req
28. Shoney's.Copy !req
29. or the Series 9000 is going
to turn it into mush.Copy !req
30. Relaxed enough?Copy !req
31. I admire you, Rick.Copy !req
32. When I...Copy !req
33. Rick, here's...Copy !req
34. - What's going on?
- It's hard to tell.Copy !req
35. He may have manifested
some sort of butt.Copy !req
36. He can do that?Copy !req
37. He is the smartest man in the universe.Copy !req
38. I tell you, the Galactic Federation
taking over Earth...Copy !req
39. best thing that's ever
happened to this family.Copy !req
40. I just got my sixth
promotion this week,Copy !req
41. and I still don't know what I do.Copy !req
42. Who cares how high they promote you?Copy !req
43. Everyone just gets paid in pills.Copy !req
44. Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,Copy !req
45. you can make your own rules.Copy !req
46. Summer, show your father some respect.Copy !req
47. He's pulling down
a six-chewable-figure income.Copy !req
48. I'll get that in a moment.Copy !req
49. How are everyone's pills?Copy !req
50. Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.Copy !req
51. I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I...Copy !req
52. wasn't gonna eat any more pills.Copy !req
53. Thank you, Conroy.Copy !req
54. You spoil us, Conroy.Copy !req
55. Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up with this!Copy !req
56. Stop saying his name.
He abandoned us.Copy !req
57. Willem Dafoe!Copy !req
58. T-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.Copy !req
59. Don't make my mistake, Summer.Copy !req
60. Don't deify the people that leave you.Copy !req
61. You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliensCopy !req
62. whose medicine keeps horses...
healthy forever.Copy !req
63. Horses live longer than tortoises now!Copy !req
64. Is that what you want for yourself?Copy !req
65. Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!Copy !req
66. Who saved room for pill brûlée?Copy !req
67. Ooh!Copy !req
68. I can see why you chose this
family-friendly restaurantCopy !req
69. to represent your cerebellum.Copy !req
70. So safe, so comfortable, so Shoney's.Copy !req
71. But admit it, Rick...
You're going crazy cooped up in here.Copy !req
72. - Let's go visit some memories.
- Oh, any particular ones?Copy !req
73. You want to see my first bonerCopy !req
74. or should we go straight to the momentCopy !req
75. I discovered interdimensional travel?Copy !req
76. Ooh. Your little flappy
doodles are twitching.Copy !req
77. Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signalCopy !req
78. that one of your buddies found a grape?Copy !req
79. It's arousal.Copy !req
80. Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memoryCopy !req
81. of you inventing your portal gun.Copy !req
82. Yeah. Well, tough titties.Copy !req
83. There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.Copy !req
84. Well, that depends on who breaks first...
me or the titty.Copy !req
85. Someone special you remember?Copy !req
86. Is that your memory of her out there...Copy !req
87. between where you were on 9/11Copy !req
88. and your favorite sports blooper?Copy !req
89. If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.Copy !req
90. If you take me where I want to go,Copy !req
91. she'll be there, too, won't she?Copy !req
92. The day I invented the portal gun
is the day I lost her.Copy !req
93. Oh, that sounds cool.Copy !req
94. I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.Copy !req
95. Fine, but I'm driving.Copy !req
96. as an excuse to strip
away our freedom.Copy !req
97. Huh? What are you...
What are you doing?Copy !req
98. Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?Copy !req
99. With, like, laser guns and jets
packs and a space tank!Copy !req
100. And we can go break him out of prison!Copy !req
101. Look at these dead flies!Copy !req
102. Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,Copy !req
103. it plays a hologram or it
opens a secret door.Copy !req
104. Summer, you're freaking me out!Copy !req
105. I know things have changed a lot,
and I know you miss Rick,Copy !req
106. but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.Copy !req
107. And, you know, we're not doing so bad.Copy !req
108. We're miserable, Morty!Copy !req
109. There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,Copy !req
110. and they weaponized the Eiffel Tower!Copy !req
111. I like being 35.
I-I can rent a car now.Copy !req
112. Because you suck!Copy !req
113. You've been keeping
your lip zipped about itCopy !req
114. since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,Copy !req
115. you're freaking stoked to bail on him.Copy !req
116. He bails on everybody!Copy !req
117. He bailed on Mom when she was a kid!Copy !req
118. He... He bailed on tiny planet!Copy !req
119. And in case I never made
this clear to you, Summer,Copy !req
120. he bailed on you.Copy !req
121. He left you to rot
in a world that he ruinedCopy !req
122. because he doesn't care!Copy !req
123. Because nobody's special to him,
Summer, not even himself.Copy !req
124. So if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.Copy !req
125. The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!Copy !req
126. You're right!Copy !req
127. What? No! I'm not right!Copy !req
128. I-I was using ghoulish overkill!Copy !req
129. Ghoulish overkill, Summer!Copy !req
130. Oh, God! Oh, God!Copy !req
131. Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
132. - Where are we going?
- To the day it all began...Copy !req
133. and ended.Copy !req
134. The moment that changed everything.Copy !req
135. Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?Copy !req
136. Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNuggetCopy !req
137. and, uh, a bunch of the Szechuan sauce.Copy !req
138. Like, as much as you're
allowed to give me.Copy !req
139. In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan,"Copy !req
140. where they... where they...Copy !req
141. they created a new sauce
for the McNuggetsCopy !req
142. called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!Copy !req
143. And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.Copy !req
144. The only place we're gonna be
able to try it is in my memory.Copy !req
145. Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.Copy !req
146. Okay. All right, all right.Copy !req
147. Is that...Copy !req
148. Me.Copy !req
149. I used to wear blue pants.Copy !req
150. When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?Copy !req
151. I didn't.
I did.Copy !req
152. Well, well, well.
If it isn't us.Copy !req
153. You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?Copy !req
154. Suddenly you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,Copy !req
155. and the first thing you learn isCopy !req
156. you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.Copy !req
157. Fortunately, you're about
to invent somethingCopy !req
158. much more powerful.Copy !req
159. What?Copy !req
160. Summer, nobody has to know about that.Copy !req
161. We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,Copy !req
162. like we did with Dad's mannequin leg.Copy !req
163. Fine. Stay here.
I'll rescue Grandpa myself.Copy !req
164. - How are you gonna do that?
- I don't know yet.Copy !req
165. I'll make it up as I go.
That's what Grandpa Rick does.Copy !req
166. That's what heroes do.Copy !req
167. You want to see what a hero Rick is?Copy !req
168. I-I'll bring you somewhere, Summer!Copy !req
169. - Um...
- My goodness, children.Copy !req
170. Relinquish the illegal technologyCopy !req
171. to the nearest Federation representative.Copy !req
172. And then we'll all play Balderdash.Copy !req
173. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
174. Oh! Oh! My goo...Copy !req
175. Oh, my God.Copy !req
176. I have that exact same top.Copy !req
177. What is this place?Copy !req
178. And what's with "Hunger Games" Summer?Copy !req
179. That's my sister.
This used to be my home.Copy !req
180. Imagine doing anything you want,Copy !req
181. then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.Copy !req
182. Imagine going anywhere, anytime,
with nobody able to stop you.Copy !req
183. - Sounds lonely.
- Lonely?Copy !req
184. Dude, you have yourself...
your infinite selves.Copy !req
185. It's a nonstop partyCopy !req
186. where all the guests
are the only person we like.Copy !req
187. You think it's cool being
the smartest man on Earth,Copy !req
188. but once we give you this technology,Copy !req
189. you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe...Copy !req
190. the Infinite Rick, a god.Copy !req
191. Enh, pass.Copy !req
192. Excuse me?
Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.Copy !req
193. Who do you think you are?Copy !req
194. A different kind of Rick, I guess.Copy !req
195. Well, we'll see how long that lasts.Copy !req
196. I heard sci-fi noises.
Did you make a breakthrough?Copy !req
197. Sort of.Copy !req
198. I just took a long look at myself,Copy !req
199. and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.Copy !req
200. Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?Copy !req
201. That, Diane, is the last great ideaCopy !req
202. that will ever be had in this garage.Copy !req
203. Good roasted Cronenberg, I assume.Copy !req
204. Mom, you're looking... feral.Copy !req
205. I can't believe Rick did this.Copy !req
206. These are the parts
of Rick's adventuresCopy !req
207. you don't get to see...
the parts he leaves behind.Copy !req
208. All right. It's been great, guys.Copy !req
209. Um, I really only wanted
to stop by hereCopy !req
210. for a quick "I told you so."Copy !req
211. - So, uh...
- Looking for this?Copy !req
212. - What are you doing with that?
- It stinks of Rick.Copy !req
213. No! Why?Copy !req
214. Why would you do that?Copy !req
215. W-What is the matter with you people?Copy !req
216. You're a bunch of back savages...Copy !req
217. backwood savage morons!Copy !req
218. You can never leave.
She cannot remain.Copy !req
219. She stinks of Rick.Copy !req
220. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
221. Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
I'm Morty C-137.Copy !req
222. We detected a compromised portal gun.Copy !req
223. - Where is your Rick?
- He's in prison.Copy !req
224. Summer.Copy !req
225. He got captured by the Federation,Copy !req
226. and we were going to rescue him.Copy !req
227. Very troubling.Copy !req
228. We can't risk Citadel secretsCopy !req
229. falling into the Federation's hands.Copy !req
230. We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediatelyCopy !req
231. to break into the prison
holding C-137...Copy !req
232. Boo-yah.Copy !req
233. and assassinate him.Copy !req
234. Boo-nah?Copy !req
235. Come on, girls!Copy !req
236. The ice cream's gonna melt!Copy !req
237. No-o-o-o-o-o-o!Copy !req
238. Wow. This sauce is fucking amazing.Copy !req
239. You said it was promoting a movie?Copy !req
240. Carry the 3, add a 2.Copy !req
241. I got it.Copy !req
242. I fucking got it!Copy !req
243. Whoa. I-Is that it... the portal gun?Copy !req
244. Yeah.Copy !req
245. That's the three lines of math
that separates my life as a manCopy !req
246. from my life as an unfeeling ghost.Copy !req
247. Awesome possum.Copy !req
248. Mission Control, you getting this?Copy !req
249. Holy shit, yes!Copy !req
250. Yes! We got it!Copy !req
251. - Yeah! All right!
- Thanks, Rick.Copy !req
252. I'll try to remember
to shut off the brainalyzer.Copy !req
253. Actually, I think it
shuts off automaticallyCopy !req
254. once your brain is liquid.Copy !req
255. Don't know, don't care.Copy !req
256. Pull me out.Copy !req
257. Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?Copy !req
258. Nope, they cannot.Copy !req
259. - Why not?
- Because the code you uploadedCopy !req
260. wasn't actually my portal-gun formula.Copy !req
261. It was a virus giving me
full control over the brainalyzer.Copy !req
262. What are you talking about?
This is a memory.Copy !req
263. Y-You can't alter details of a memory.Copy !req
264. True, but you can alter
anything you wantCopy !req
265. about a totally fabricated
origin story.Copy !req
266. It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!Copy !req
267. Repeat... We never left his Shoney's!Copy !req
268. Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.Copy !req
269. Roger that.Copy !req
270. Have fun in what's left of my brain.Copy !req
271. I'm gonna transfer to yours.Copy !req
272. Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,Copy !req
273. so I'm leaving you with my fear
of wicker furniture,Copy !req
274. my desire to play the trumpet,Copy !req
275. my tentative plans to purchase a hat,Copy !req
276. and six years of improv workshops.Copy !req
277. - Comedy comes in threes.
- It's a trap!Copy !req
278. Abort! We never left his...Copy !req
279. No!Copy !req
280. Another day, another dollar.Copy !req
281. Am I a great insect creature or what?Copy !req
282. Congratulations, Agent.Copy !req
283. You'll be highly commended for this.Copy !req
284. Always wait for permission toCopy !req
285. Feel accomplishment... That's my motto.Copy !req
286. One thing still perplexes me...Copy !req
287. Why would Rick Sanchez turn himself in?Copy !req
288. Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knewCopy !req
289. he'd be interrogated at this facility,Copy !req
290. where we not only keep our most wanted,Copy !req
291. but our most sensitive data.Copy !req
292. Anyone here with level-9 access couldCopy !req
293. I don't know.
Collapse the government.Copy !req
294. I'm just gonna go take a dump.Copy !req
295. Is it cool if I use
the level-9 bathrooms?Copy !req
296. W-What's the level-9
master access code again?Copy !req
297. Oh, that's easy... 8-3...Copy !req
298. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
299. S.E.A.L. Team Ricks in the house!Copy !req
300. Hi, Rick.Copy !req
301. Bye, Rick.Copy !req
302. D-99, y-you okay?Copy !req
303. I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test drive.Copy !req
304. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.Copy !req
305. We have your Morty and Summer.Copy !req
306. They're prisoners on the Citadel.Copy !req
307. Great.Copy !req
308. Security breach in room 6755.Copy !req
309. Lovely.Copy !req
310. Not only is my plan screwed up,
I also forgot how to improvise.Copy !req
311. All security people approach.Copy !req
312. Security breach.Copy !req
313. A city of Grandpas?Copy !req
314. It's the Citadel of Ricks.Copy !req
315. All the different Ricks
from all the different realitiesCopy !req
316. got together to hide here
from the government.Copy !req
317. But if every Rick hates the government,Copy !req
318. why would they hate Grandpa?Copy !req
319. Because Ricks hate themselves the most.Copy !req
320. And our Rick is the most... himself.Copy !req
321. Not anymore, homey.Copy !req
322. S.E.A.L. Team Ricks turned his unibrowCopy !req
323. into two brows... with a bullet.Copy !req
324. Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!Copy !req
325. Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.Copy !req
326. Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.Copy !req
327. Bring him in.Copy !req
328. He says he'll only talk to a Rick
with higher clearance.Copy !req
329. La-di-da.
Give me that.Copy !req
330. D-99, this is the commander
in chief of the Citadel's militia.Copy !req
331. Go... Good enough.Copy !req
332. He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.Copy !req
333. Operating an unregistered portal gun,Copy !req
334. radicalizing a Summer,Copy !req
335. conspiring with a traitorous Rick.Copy !req
336. How do you plead?Copy !req
337. How is this a fair trial?Copy !req
338. O-Our lawyer is a Morty!Copy !req
339. It's not fair, you have no rights,
and he's not a lawyer.Copy !req
340. We just keep him here because he's fun.Copy !req
341. Look at him go.Copy !req
342. Yeah!Copy !req
343. We'll be lenient if you
renounce your Rick.Copy !req
344. What say you, Summer?Copy !req
345. I say fuck you!
My grandpa was my hero.Copy !req
346. You killed him because
you were jealous of him.Copy !req
347. That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.Copy !req
348. So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.Copy !req
349. He already renounced Rick.Copy !req
350. Morty?Copy !req
351. What?Copy !req
352. N-No, I don't want to see
your pog collection.Copy !req
353. I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.Copy !req
354. I was just trying to protect my sister.Copy !req
355. I wanted you to have a normal life.Copy !req
356. That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.Copy !req
357. Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.Copy !req
358. All you know is that you know nothing
and he knows everything.Copy !req
359. And, well...
Well, he's not a villain, Summer,Copy !req
360. but he shouldn't be your hero.Copy !req
361. He's more like a demon
or a super fucked-up god.Copy !req
362. Let's not suck the ghost
of his dick too hard.Copy !req
363. He was a terrorist, and now he's dead.Copy !req
364. Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive!Copy !req
365. And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!Copy !req
366. Hey! Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?Copy !req
367. This area is for teleporting
the entire CitadelCopy !req
368. to somewhere else using
only buttons and dials.Copy !req
369. Yeah? Well, it's a bad ideaCopy !req
370. to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?Copy !req
371. What the fuck?Copy !req
372. We just teleported into
a Galactic federal prison!Copy !req
373. I'm gonna go take a shit.Copy !req
374. Order in the court!
Whoa! What the hell?Copy !req
375. Oh, my God!Copy !req
376. Aah!Copy !req
377. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!Copy !req
378. Whoa!Copy !req
379. Whoa!Copy !req
380. The Citadel has been teleported
to Federation space.Copy !req
381. It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.Copy !req
382. - What are we gonna do?
- You know he's coming for us.Copy !req
383. All right! Calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.Copy !req
384. Obviously, I get her.Copy !req
385. You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.Copy !req
386. W-What the hell is that?Copy !req
387. Payback.Copy !req
388. Grandpa Rick!Copy !req
389. - Duh.
- You're alive!Copy !req
390. - Rick!
- Morty, take this.Copy !req
391. You're gonna need it later.Copy !req
392. Hold on. Hold on.
Whoa!Copy !req
393. That's enough, Rick.Copy !req
394. What... What's this
supposed to accomplish?Copy !req
395. We have infinite grandkids.Copy !req
396. You're trying to use Disney bucks
at a Caesars Palace here.Copy !req
397. That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.Copy !req
398. You're a rogue Rick...
irrational, passionate.Copy !req
399. You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.Copy !req
400. I came to kill you, bro.Copy !req
401. That's not even my original Summer.Copy !req
402. Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!Copy !req
403. - R-Rick?
- Why not shoot through her?Copy !req
404. Twenty yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol.Copy !req
405. My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,Copy !req
406. second shot adds recoil.Copy !req
407. The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,Copy !req
408. which I'm encouraging you to do.Copy !req
409. - What the fuck?
- Or let her go,Copy !req
410. which I will reward
with a quicker death.Copy !req
411. Because you love her!Copy !req
412. Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,Copy !req
413. which will be your least painful death.Copy !req
414. But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.Copy !req
415. All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.Copy !req
416. - I hate you!
- Not an issue, sweetie.Copy !req
417. That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!Copy !req
418. Morty, I know you're
too stupid to get this,Copy !req
419. but you're really fucking
this up right now.Copy !req
420. I'm not letting you let my sister die!Copy !req
421. Drop the gun!Copy !req
422. I wasn't gonna let her die,
you fucking moron!Copy !req
423. - Ha!
- Aww.Copy !req
424. The point is he thought I was going to.Copy !req
425. I totally did, by the way.
You're a fucking moron, Morty.Copy !req
426. Morty, you fucking idiot!Copy !req
427. You're a serious fucking idiot, Morty!Copy !req
428. You basically killed us all!Copy !req
429. - You're the worst!
- You're dumb as a bag of sand!Copy !req
430. Who's stupid now, bitch?Copy !req
431. Morty! We just got him back!Copy !req
432. That was amazing, Morty.Copy !req
433. Oh, my God. Wow.Copy !req
434. Okay. Let's wrap this...Copy !req
435. Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.Copy !req
436. What? What happened?Copy !req
437. Oldest Rick trick in the book.Copy !req
438. "Fake gun. Shoot me in standoff."Copy !req
439. - Brilliant!
- Ha! Yeah.Copy !req
440. G-Good thing I saw that note.Copy !req
441. Couldn't we just portal home?Copy !req
442. Not until I finish what I started.Copy !req
443. And that is how you get level-9
access without a password.Copy !req
444. Freeze!Copy !req
445. Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
446. So what are you doing
with level-9 access anyways?Copy !req
447. Destroying the Galactic government.Copy !req
448. - Awesome!
- Whoa! Cool!Copy !req
449. Are you going to set all their nukes
to target each other?Copy !req
450. Ooh, or... or reprogram
their military portalsCopy !req
451. to disintegrate their
entire space fleet?Copy !req
452. Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.Copy !req
453. But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empireCopy !req
454. by changing a one... to a zero.Copy !req
455. Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.Copy !req
456. What do you mean?Copy !req
457. I mean our single centralized
Galactic currencyCopy !req
458. just went from being worth
one of itself to zero of itself.Copy !req
459. - Dear God, no.
- Calm down, people.Copy !req
460. Deploy the Galactic militia
and declare martial law.Copy !req
461. Yes, sir.Copy !req
462. Uh, what should I pay them with?Copy !req
463. Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their...Copy !req
464. Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?Copy !req
465. I can answer that... for money.Copy !req
466. I never thought I'd live
to see this day.Copy !req
467. Gentlemen! Gentlemen!Copy !req
468. There's a solution here
you're not seeing.Copy !req
469. - Give me your jacket!
- Give me those pants!Copy !req
470. I want more jackets!Copy !req
471. He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!Copy !req
472. No longer will the insects have
domain over surface world!Copy !req
473. Jerry, what the hell is happening?Copy !req
474. The Galactic government collapsed.Copy !req
475. - Are you okay?
- Look.Copy !req
476. I'm not proud to share this,
but the truth is,Copy !req
477. I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.Copy !req
478. Oh, I'm glad you're okay.Copy !req
479. Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?Copy !req
480. Our children, our planet, our jobs.Copy !req
481. Is there anything left to lose?Copy !req
482. Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.Copy !req
483. And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us.Copy !req
484. Guess who dismantled the government.Copy !req
485. - Please don't leave me again.
- I never will, baby.Copy !req
486. I was right!
He turned himself in on purpose!Copy !req
487. It was all part of his plan!Copy !req
488. Jerry, is there any light beer left?Copy !req
489. It's insane what you miss in prison.Copy !req
490. Um, okay. No.Copy !req
491. No, no, no.
Foot-down time.Copy !req
492. No. You're right.
Where's the vodka?Copy !req
493. Beth, it's him or me!Copy !req
494. Seems like you guys need some privacy.Copy !req
495. I'll, uh, I'll be in the garage.Copy !req
496. What the fuck?
Not cool, Jerry!Copy !req
497. A man's garage is his castle.Copy !req
498. Jerry's going to spend
some time... divorced.Copy !req
499. Oh. Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.Copy !req
500. I hope I had nothing to do with that.Copy !req
501. Oh, God. Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.Copy !req
502. I feel terrible that I misjudged you.Copy !req
503. This is gonna be good for Jerry.Copy !req
504. - For everybody.
- For everybody.Copy !req
505. I better tend to JerryCopy !req
506. before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.Copy !req
507. I will leave you two
to your adventures.Copy !req
508. Oh, my God.Copy !req
509. Nancy says they're drawing
and quartering aliensCopy !req
510. in the school courtyard,Copy !req
511. and it technically counts
as patriotism.Copy !req
512. Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?Copy !req
513. All right, Rick.
I'm gonna go to my... Gah!Copy !req
514. Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.Copy !req
515. We've got adventures to go on,
Morty, just you and me.Copy !req
516. And sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,Copy !req
517. but never your dad.Copy !req
518. You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.Copy !req
519. Okay. Take it easy, Rick.
T-That's dark.Copy !req
520. Oh, it gets darker, Morty.Copy !req
521. Welcome to the darkest
year of our adventures.Copy !req
522. First thing that's different...Copy !req
523. - no more Dad, Morty.
- Oh, geez.Copy !req
524. He threatened to turn me in
to the government,Copy !req
525. so I made him and the government
go away.Copy !req
526. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
527. I've replaced them both
as the de facto patriarchCopy !req
528. of your family and your universe.Copy !req
529. Your mom wouldn't have accepted meCopy !req
530. if I came home without you
and your sister,Copy !req
531. so now you know the real
reason I rescued you.Copy !req
532. I just took over the family, Morty,Copy !req
533. and if you tell your mom
or sister I said any of this,Copy !req
534. I'll deny it, and they'll take my sideCopy !req
535. because I'm a hero, Morty.Copy !req
536. Now you're gonna have to go
and do whatever I say, Morty,Copy !req
537. Forever!Copy !req
538. And I'll... I'll go out and I'll find
some more of thatCopy !req
539. "Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, Morty.Copy !req
540. - What are you talking about?
- Because that's...Copy !req
541. that's what this is all about, Morty!Copy !req
542. - Szechuan?
- That's my one-armed man!Copy !req
543. I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!Copy !req
544. That was fake!Copy !req
545. I-I'm driven by finding
that McNugget sauce.Copy !req
546. I want that "Mulan"
McNugget sauce, Morty!Copy !req
547. - That's my series arc, Morty!
- What the hell?Copy !req
548. If it takes nine seasons,
I want my McNugget dipping sauce...Copy !req
549. - Szechuan sauce, Morty.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
550. That's what's gonna take usCopy !req
551. - all the way to the end, Morty.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
552. Nine more seasons, Morty.Copy !req
553. Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping Szechuan sauce.Copy !req
554. - What is that?
- For 97 more years, Morty!Copy !req
555. What are you talking about?Copy !req
556. I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!Copy !req
557. Is it ready?Copy !req
558. Yes. We can bring it online now.Copy !req
559. Do it.Copy !req
560. I am Phoenix Person.Copy !req
561. Phoenix Person?
Is that what we settled on?Copy !req
562. I thought we all agreed on Cyber Bird.Copy !req
563. Y-You said you didn't care
what he was calledCopy !req
564. as long as we brought him back.Copy !req
565. Yeah, but Phoenix Person?Copy !req
566. Fine. Fuck it.
Who cares?Copy !req
567. Ka-kaw!Copy !req