1. Geez, I can't believe we found
a version of Earth
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2. with a "Ball Fondlers"
movie franchise.
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3. I can't believe the things
this reality considers PG-13.
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4. - Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous.
- Don't be, Morty.
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5. There's pros and cons
to every alternate timeline.
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6. Fun facts
about this one —
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7. It's got giant,
telepathic spiders,
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8. 119/11s,
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9. and the best ice cream
in the multiverse!
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10. - Shut up!
- Whoa!
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11. We're gonna go get
some ice cream, motherfucker!
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12. Oh, great.
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13. Oh, boy.
W-What's wrong, Rick?
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14. Is it the quantum carburetor
or something?
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15. "Quantum carburetor"?
Jesus, Morty.
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16. You can't just add
a s— sci-fi word
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17. to a car word
and hope it means something.
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18. Looks like something's wrong
with the microverse battery.
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19. We're gonna have
to go inside.
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20. Um, go inside what?
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21. The battery, Morty.
Be right back, Summer.
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22. Stay put,
don't touch any buttons,
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23. and ignore all random thoughts
that feel... spidery.
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24. Wait!
You can't leave me here!
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25. You'll be fine.
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26. Ship,
keep Summer safe.
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27. Keep Summer safe.
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28. Ohh!
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29. Ugh.
Wonderful.
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30. Hey, excuse me.
Hello.
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31. Um...
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32. What, you think
you're better than me?
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33. Nobody's better
than me!
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34. Hey!
Hey!
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35. Aah!
Aaaaah!
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36. - Keep Summer safe.
- Aaaaaaah!
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37. Hey, man,
what the hell?
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38. That was my daughter's
pediatrician! Aah!
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39. No, stop!
Don't kill him!
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40. Confirmed.
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41. Aah!
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42. Oh, god.
I can't feel my legs.
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43. Help!
Help!
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44. Summer is safe.
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45. I don't feel safe.
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46. Confirmed.
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47. No.
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48. Oh, god, help me.
Help me!
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49. Help me, please!
You can help me!
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50. Oh, man.
Where are we, Rick?
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51. Morty, remember eight
seconds ago when — you said,
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52. "go inside what?"
And I said, "the battery"?
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53. Then we showed up here,
and I wasn't like,
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54. "Whoa, this is unexpected.
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55. This is not what I was
expecting, Morty.
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56. What a perplexing mystery
this is."
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57. All right, all right,
we're inside the battery.
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58. I get it. You don't have
to bust my balls.
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59. Huh, this isn't right.
This pipe's supposed to be...
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60. sending 20 terawatts of
juice up to the engine, Morty.
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61. Instead we've got... zero?
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62. Now what
are these people doing?
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63. W-W-W-Whoa, people?
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64. It's time for some
hands-on engine repair.
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65. All right, Morty,
hold on to something.
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66. Whoa!
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67. Holy crap!
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68. I thought we were
inside your car battery, Rick.
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69. T-T-This is like a whole
p-planet or something.
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70. Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty
proud of this bad boy.
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71. Check it out.
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72. I put a spatially
tessellated void
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73. inside a modified
temporal field
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74. until a planet developed
intelligent life.
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75. I then introduced that life
to the wonders of electricity,
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76. which they now generate
on a global scale.
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77. And, you know, some of it goes
to power my engine
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78. and charge my phone
and stuff.
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79. You have a whole planet
making your power for you?
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80. That's slavery.
- It's society.
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81. They work for each other,
Morty.
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82. They pay each other.
They buy houses.
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83. They get married and make
children that replace them
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84. when they get
too old to make power.
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85. That just sounds like slavery
with extra steps.
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86. Ooh la la, someone's
gonna get laid in college.
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87. It appears we are
being revisited
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88. by the alien known as Rick,
who once gave our world
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89. the gift
of gooble box technology,
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90. which, when stomped on,
generates electricity,
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91. powering our homes
and businesses,
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92. improving our daily lives,
while safely removing
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93. the dangerous waste power
to a special disposal volcano.
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94. But why has Rick returned?
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95. And what will he say
when he hears the big news?
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96. Let's find out.
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97. You need to tell these people
they're in a battery, Rick.
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98. It's messed up.
There's caterers down there.
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99. Th-Th-They're setting up
chafing dishes.
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100. Would you relax, Morty?
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101. There's nothing dishonest
about what we're doing.
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102. Now slap on these antennae.
They need to think we're aliens.
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103. - What? Why?
- Sh— Obviously —
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104. You really know
nothing about car repair.
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105. Wait for the ramp,
Morty.
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106. They love
the slow ramp.
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107. Really gets their dicks hard
when they see this ramp
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108. just slowly
extending down.
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109. Greetings!
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110. Morty, you gotta
flip them off.
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111. I told them it means
"peace among worlds."
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112. How hilarious is that?
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113. Coming through.
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114. Two real aliens walking
through here.
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115. Rick,
our alien friend.
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116. Uh, Mr. President,
um, couldn't help but notice
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117. that you were having problems
generating power.
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118. That's correct.
We've evolved.
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119. Our most brilliant scientist,
Zeep Xanflorp,
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120. has developed
a source of energy
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121. that makes gooble boxes
obsolete.
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122. I would love to see it.
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123. - Fuck You.
- What did you say to me?
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124. "Fuck You."
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125. Y-You told me
it means "much obliged."
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126. Oh. Right.
Uh, b-blow me.
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127. No, no, no.
Blow me.
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128. Zeep, you have an honored guest
from beyond the stars.
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129. I said 12 quantum stabilizers,
not 11.
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130. Fix it
or it's your ass.
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131. Chris, I'm in the middle
of something.
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132. Zeep, this is Rick —
The Alien.
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133. Rick The Alien.
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134. Rick
The Alien...
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135. Really?
You're gonna pull that move?
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136. I guided
your entire civilization.
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137. Your people have
a holiday named Ricksgiving.
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138. They teach kids
about me in school.
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139. I dropped out of school.
It's not for smart people.
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140. Ohhhh, snap!
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141. Listen to me,
you arrogant little —
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142. R-Rick was hoping
to see your new energy source.
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143. I think he could learn
a lot from you, Zeep.
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144. Fine.
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145. It's hard
for people to grasp,
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146. but inside that container is
an infinite universe
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147. with a planet capable
of generating
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148. massive amounts of power.
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149. I call it a miniverse.
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150. Dumb Name.
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151. - Excuse me?
- Nothing.
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152. I mean, it's hard
for us to comprehend all this.
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153. Would it be possible
for us to get some kind of tour
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154. of your miniverse
from the inside?
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155. This isn't a fucking
chocolate factory.
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156. I don't have time.
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157. Didn't you say time goes
more slowly in the miniverse
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158. relative to the real world?
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159. Yes, Chris.
Thanks for reminding me of that.
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160. Great President.
All right, let's go.
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161. Whoa-Oh!
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162. Hold on to something.
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163. I put an unbounded vacuum
inside a temporal field
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164. until a world developed.
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165. I then introduced
the people of this world
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166. to the wonders of electricity
in the form of a device
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167. I call
a flooble crank.
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168. What they don't know is that 80%
of every crank's energy output
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169. gets channeled
out of the miniverse
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170. to be used by us.
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171. No more gooble boxes.
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172. I gotta tell you, Zeep,
with no disrespect,
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173. I really think what
you're doing here is unethical.
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174. It's not cool.
- What?
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175. Y-Y-You got the people
on this world slaving away
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176. making your power.
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177. I mean, that's
what I call slavery.
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178. No, no, no,
they work for each other
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179. in exchange for money,
which they then —
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180. Well, that just sounds like
slavery with extra steps.
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181. Eek barba dirkle, somebody's
gonna get laid in college.
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182. Rick, a word?
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183. What the hell was that?
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184. I know.
"eek barba dirkle"?
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185. That's a pretty
fucked up "ooh la la."
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186. No, what are you doing
telling this guy
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187. that his miniverse is
unethical?
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188. D-Do you not see
the hypocrisy here?
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189. Holy crap.
You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!
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190. Somewhere on this planet,
there's gotta be an arrogant...
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191. scientist prick on the verge
of microverse technology,
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192. which would threaten to make
Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,
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193. forcing Zeep
to say microverses are bad,
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194. at which point he'll realize
what a hypocrite he's being.
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195. His people will go back to
stomping on their gooble boxes,
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196. and you and I will be
on ice cream street, baby!
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197. Eating that motherfucking
ice cream!
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198. Slurping, slurping,
slurping it up.
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199. Wh-Wh-Why are you making
that face?
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200. Holy shit!
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201. It's me. I've convinced
the people of this planet
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202. that I'm a traveler
from another world.
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203. You don't think that's over-
doing it a little?
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204. I mean, you can achieve the same
effect with a pair of —
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205. Never mind. You know what?
I shouldn't be so critical.
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206. I'm an alien.
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207. Places, please.
We're about to land.
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208. Too fast.
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209. Law enforcement
converging on location.
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210. Keep Summer safe.
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211. No! No, no!
Don't hurt anybody!
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212. - Confirm
custom defense protocol —
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213. Keep Summer safe —
No physical force.
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214. - Yes.
- Processing.
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215. Come out of the vehicle
with your hands in the air!
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216. Scanning assailants.
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217. Psychological option
detected.
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218. Gestating.
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219. "Gestating"?
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220. Come out
with your hands up,
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221. or we will be forced
to open fire!
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222. - Incoming!
- We got a device!
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223. Bomb! Bomb!
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224. Daddy?
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225. Oh, my god.
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226. H-Hunter?
- Daddy?
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227. What the hell?
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228. Jesus Christ, cease fire!
Stay back!
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229. H-H-Hunter?
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230. - Daddy.
- Hunter!
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231. Oh, my dear,
sweet god, Hunter.
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232. Oh, my boy.
My boy.
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233. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It was all my fault.
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234. I'm sorry.
Daddy, leave the car alone.
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235. W-W-W-What?
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236. Leave the car alone.
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237. Hunter?
Don't —
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238. Oh, my god.
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239. Stay here, Hunter!
No!
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240. God, no!
Hunter!
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241. All of you have loved ones.
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242. All can be returned.
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243. All can be taken away.
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244. Please step away
from the vehicle.
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245. Keep Summer safe.
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246. And if you continue
to turn your flooble cranks,
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247. I will bring you
other great alien advancements.
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248. - Hey, lemme ask you something.
- Yes?
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249. Any of your, uh, scientists
working on anything new?
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250. All of them.
That's their job.
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251. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, like, energy-wise.
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252. Anyone working on, say,
a little universe in a box?
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253. How do you know about that?
It's top secret.
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254. So remember — A crank
a day is not nearly enough.
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255. Crank it.
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256. I told them this means
"peace among worlds."
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257. How hilarious is that?
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258. Re-Really funny, Zeep.
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259. Hey, Zeep, the fake president
of your fake world
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260. has something fake important
to show you.
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261. It's not much now,
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262. but once I learn to accelerate
the temporal field,
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263. I'll be able to interact with
any sentient life that evolves
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264. and introduce them
to the wonders of electricity
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265. via a pulley-based device
I call a blooble yank.
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266. But what
they won't know is —
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267. You'll be taking
most of their energy.
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268. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it.
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269. It's show- ... time.
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270. You do realize this will make
the flooble crank obsolete?
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271. This is wrong, Kyle.
What you're doing is wrong.
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272. You're basically —
This is slavery.
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273. You're talking about creating
a planet of slaves.
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274. Told you, Zeep.
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275. Oh, they won't be slaves.
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276. They'll work for each other
and pay each other money.
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277. That just sounds like slavery
with ex... tra... steps.
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278. - What?
- Wait a minute.
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279. Did you create my universe?
Is my universe a miniverse?
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280. - Microverse!
- Uh, teenyverse.
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281. - Ugh!
- You bastard!
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282. Much obliged.
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283. - What the hell is happening?
- This is healthy. Trust me.
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284. You're my battery,
motherfucker!
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285. That's all you are.
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286. I made you.
Your microverse sucks!
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287. And your miniverse is the size
of a fucking lobster tank!
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288. It's wack!
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289. Are they
not really aliens?
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290. Nah, they're just
a couple of crazy,
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291. wacky scientists,
you know?
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292. So he made
a universe,
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293. and that guy is
from that universe.
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294. - You're my battery!
- And that guy made a universe.
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295. And that's the universe
where I was born.
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296. Where my father died.
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297. Where I couldn't make time
for his funeral
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298. because I was working
on my universe.
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299. - I made you!
- Yeah.
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300. Science, huh?
Ain't it a thing.
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301. You know, one time,
Rick sh— accidentally shot
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302. his laser pistol
right through my hand.
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303. You know, I mean, like,
Old-Lady Science, you know?
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304. She's a real —
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305. You got to hang on tight,
you know?
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306. Because she — she —
she bucks pretty hard.
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307. Ooh, boy, what —
Oh, my god, no!
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308. - Teenyverse.
- Teenyverse.
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309. Come on, come on,
come on.
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310. Pterodactyl!
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311. Asshole!
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312. When I get
out of this teenyverse,
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313. I'm gonna smash it to pieces
with you in it.
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314. Yeah, well, when I get
out of this teenyverse,
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315. I'm gonna get out of
the surrounding miniverse
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316. and then the microverse
around that, and guess what?
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317. Don't make things worse,
Rick!
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318. Uh, he's not gonna destroy
your universe.
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319. You know, we — we need it
to start our car.
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320. That's what you used
my universe for —
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321. to run your car?
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322. Yeah, but don't
flatter yourself.
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323. There's always AAA,
you fucking cock sucker!
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324. What's he doing?
What's he crafting?
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325. I can craft stuff,
too, pal!
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326. Just like I crafted
your reality!
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327. You crafty son of a —
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328. Ow! I crafted the guy
that created
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329. the planet
you're standing on!
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330. Yeah, and I made the stars
that became
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331. the carbon
in your mother's ovaries!
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332. I didn't ask to be born!
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333. All right, that's it!
I'm out.
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334. I-I'm gonna go
into the wilderness,
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335. and I'm gonna make
a new life for myself
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336. among the tree people.
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337. I-It can't be worse
than this.
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338. Sure. Okay, Morty,
Just be back before sundown
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339. or the tree people
will eat you.
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340. That's a myth!
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341. W-W-Why are you trying
to start a myth?
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342. It's a prehistoric planet,
Morty.
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343. Someone has to bring
a little culture.
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344. And I-I-it certainly
can't be someone
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345. whose entire culture powers
my brake lights!
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346. Go, go, go!
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347. Oh, my god.
Oh, god.
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348. What are we gonna do now?
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349. I am unable
to destroy this army.
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350. To clarify, I am quite able to
destroy this army,
Copy !req
351. but you will not permit it.
- Correct.
Copy !req
352. You also refuse to authorize
emotional countermeasures.
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353. If you're talking
about the melting ghost babies,
Copy !req
354. yes, please,
no more of that.
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355. Confirmed.
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356. I am currently constructing
a security measure
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357. in compliance
with your parameters.
Copy !req
358. But I do want to say
you are not making this easy.
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359. You know you're
kind of a dick, right?
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360. My function is
to keep Summer safe,
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361. not keep Summer being,
like, totally stoked
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362. about, like,
the general vibe and stuff.
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363. That's you.
That's how you talk.
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364. Hey, that's my deer!
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365. Aaaaaaah!
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366. Raah!
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367. I hope your god is
as big a dick as you.
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368. My god's the biggest dick
that's never existed.
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369. Why do you think
I'm even here?
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370. You're here...
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371. because you created
someone smarter than you.
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372. Oh, I thought
we were both here
Copy !req
373. because I created
a universe of idiots.
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374. Kalo kada sha la.
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375. Holy shit. Morty?
I haven't seen you in months!
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376. You're leading
the tree people?
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377. Huh.
That's a step up.
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378. We have no leaders.
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379. We follow
only the will of the forest.
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380. Ooh. Wow.
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381. Gaaaaay.
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382. That is pretty gay.
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383. You two call yourselves
geniuses,
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384. but you have spent
this time learning nothing.
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385. Come with me
into the forest.
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386. There is something
I wish to teach you.
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387. This is Ku'ala,
the spirit tree.
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388. For generations,
it has guided the —
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389. You have to get us
the fuck outta here.
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390. These people are
backwards savages.
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391. They eat
every third baby
Copy !req
392. because they think
it makes fruit grow bigger.
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393. Everyone's gross, and they all
smell like piss all the time.
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394. I m— I m— I miss my family.
I miss my laptop.
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395. I masturbated
to an extra-curvy piece
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396. of driftwood the other day!
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397. Look, I-I don't care
what it takes.
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398. You two are putting aside
your bullshit,
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399. and you're working together
to get us back home.
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400. No can do, Morty.
I just can't.
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401. I just don't see
how I can —
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402. Ro ro dah no gah!
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403. You're smart.
You'll figure it out.
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404. You have 10 seconds
Copy !req
405. to get out of the ship!
Copy !req
406. 10, 9...
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407. All right, not bad.
Copy !req
408. I guess you're
an okay proto recombinator.
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409. I've certainly seen
worse ionic cell dioxination.
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410. If this works,
drinks are on me.
Copy !req
411. If drinks are on you,
you're gonna need
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412. a second mortgage
on that tower.
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413. I'm an alcoholic.
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414. Opium addict.
Copy !req
415. All right, okay, okay,
okay, wrap it up.
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416. You guys are
the fucking worst!
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417. Your gods are a lie!
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418. Fuck you, fuck nature,
and fuck trees!
Copy !req
419. Yes! You did it!
Yes!
Copy !req
420. Hey, uh,
how about that drink?
Copy !req
421. Sure, I just need to go grab
my wallet from inside my ship.
Copy !req
422. Oh, is your wallet
in your ship?
Copy !req
423. That's where
the transporter is, too,
Copy !req
424. so why don't we
come with?
Copy !req
425. It's cool.
I'll be back in a sec.
Copy !req
426. You know how long a second can
take in a microverse?
Copy !req
427. Run, Morty! That asshole's
willing to risk...
Copy !req
428. everything he cares
about just to defeat me!
Copy !req
429. He's psychotic!
Copy !req
430. - Morty, hop on my back.
- Why?
Copy !req
431. Go, go
Sanchez ski shoes.
Copy !req
432. - Aaaaaah!
- ... eight...
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433. Aaaah!
Oof!
Copy !req
434. Hold still.
Copy !req
435. Oh, hey, guys.
Copy !req
436. I just finished
cooking us a feast.
Copy !req
437. - Aaaah!
- Holy —
Copy !req
438. - You monster!
- Whoa. Bad tour.
Copy !req
439. seven...
Copy !req
440. Hey, you gotta sign out.
Copy !req
441. Nothing you do matters!
Your existence is a lie!
Copy !req
442. If that were
really true, then...
Copy !req
443. - I'm here to see Ron Mendleson.
- Third floor.
Copy !req
444. Would you like
to go to dinner with —
Copy !req
445. Uh, no.
Copy !req
446. You may have created
this universe, Rick,
Copy !req
447. but I live in it.
- Shit!
Copy !req
448. What are we gonna do, Rick?
We're so screwed.
Copy !req
449. He's gonna get to the ship
and smash the microverse,
Copy !req
450. and then he's gonna kill us!
Copy !req
451. Quick, Morty, you've got
to turn into a car.
Copy !req
452. - What?
- A long time ago...
Copy !req
453. I implanted you with
a subdermal chip that could
Copy !req
454. call upon dormant nanobots
in your bloodstream
Copy !req
455. to restructure your anatomy
and turn you into a car.
Copy !req
456. - Oh, my god!
- Concentrate, Morty.
Copy !req
457. Concentrate and turn
into a car, Morty.
Copy !req
458. Never mind. Here's a taxi.
Get in. It's fine.
Copy !req
459. six...
Copy !req
460. - Hey, Zeep.
- Huh?
Copy !req
461. Happy Ricksgiving,
biiiiiitch.
Copy !req
462. Aaah!
Copy !req
463. We did it, Morty.
Copy !req
464. Now let's get out of here
and destroy this whole universe.
Copy !req
465. Excuse me?
Copy !req
466. five —
- Sir?
Copy !req
467. - Holy hell.
- Sir!
Copy !req
468. Hold your fire!
Copy !req
469. What's going on?
Copy !req
470. I have brokered
a peace agreement
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471. between the giant spiders
and the government.
Copy !req
472. Thanks to the skilled diplomacy
of this mysterious space car,
Copy !req
473. from this day forward,
human and spiderkind will live
Copy !req
474. side by side in peace.
Copy !req
475. We will stop bombing them,
Copy !req
476. and they will no longer use
their telepathic abilities
Copy !req
477. to make us wander into webs
for later consumption.
Copy !req
478. Instead, we will
work together
Copy !req
479. to make this world
a better place for all,
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480. no matter how many legs.
Copy !req
481. What do we do
about the space car?
Copy !req
482. Leave it alone.
Copy !req
483. I mean, what did it
really do, anyways?
Copy !req
484. Kill a guy
and paralyze his buddy?
Copy !req
485. Not a bad trade
for spider peace.
Copy !req
486. All right, that's it.
Move out!
Copy !req
487. I love this spider!
Copy !req
488. Summer is safe.
Copy !req
489. All right, I get it.
Copy !req
490. Riiiick!
Copy !req
491. Don't do it.
Copy !req
492. You quit school, but you
still got some learning to do.
Copy !req
493. Aah!
Copy !req
494. Unh!
Copy !req
495. Class dismissed.
Copy !req
496. Geez.
Copy !req
497. - You all right?
- Uh-Huh!
Copy !req
498. What are you doing,
Rick?
Copy !req
499. I'm pretty sure
the battery's dead.
Copy !req
500. Oh, you think so,
huh, Morty?
Copy !req
501. Well, let's see.
Copy !req
502. Hey, wait — Huh?
I don't get it.
Copy !req
503. Of course you don't.
But Zeep did.
Copy !req
504. He knew that once I got
back to my car,
Copy !req
505. one of two things
was gonna happen —
Copy !req
506. I was gonna have to toss
a broken battery,
Copy !req
507. or the battery wouldn't
be broken.
Copy !req
508. Peace among worlds, Rick.
Copy !req
509. Jesus.
Copy !req
510. Yeah.
Listen to that baby purr.
Copy !req
511. You were right, Morty —
Copy !req
512. We really just needed to
be honest with those guys.
Copy !req
513. All right, here we go.
Copy !req
514. Thank y-o-o-ou.
Copy !req
515. See, Morty?
This is what it's all about.
Copy !req
516. This is why we do
what we do.
Copy !req
517. - Uh-Huh.
- Ew! What the hell?
Copy !req
518. Jesus!
There's flies in my ice cream.
Copy !req
519. Presidential decree —
Copy !req
520. All ice cream is now
for all beings,
Copy !req
521. no matter how many legs.
Copy !req
522. What the fuck
did you do, Summer?
Copy !req
523. It was your ship!
Your stupid ship did it!
Copy !req
524. - Don't blame my ship!
- It melted a child!
Copy !req
525. My ship doesn't do anything
unless it's told to!
Copy !req
526. I don't want
to hear it, Summer!
Copy !req
527. Your boobs are
all hanging about,
Copy !req
528. and you ruined ice cream
with your boobs out.
Copy !req
529. And don't even try
to deny it, either.
Copy !req
530. Oh, my god!
Copy !req
531. Did you get any of that?
Copy !req
532. It's a good show!
Copy !req