1. Steve,
I just got a weird e-mail.
Copy !req
2. Did you buy us
airline tickets?
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3. Aw, shoot. It was supposed
to be a surprise.
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4. I wanted
to thank you
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5. for letting me live here
all this time,
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6. so I'm treating the family
to a vacation!
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7. Steve,
you're so sweet.
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8. - Thanks, Uncle Steve!
- Best Uncle ever.
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9. Look out, world.
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10. The Smith family
is going to Paris!
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11. Yeah! Awesome!
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12. Rick, I don't like glowing
rocks in the kitchen trash!
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13. Well,
I don't like
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14. your unemployed genes
in my grandchildren, Jerry,
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15. but life is made
of little concessions.
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16. I —
you know what?
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17. You're gonna land
on your feet, Jer.
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18. Some company out there's
gonna thank their lucky stars
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19. they hired
my little brother.
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20. Who the fuck are you?
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21. My goofy brother, Steve.
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22. He's been
living here almost a year now.
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23. Are you
losing your mind?
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24. Hey,
someone's been spending
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25. too much time
around glowing rocks.
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26. Am I right?
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27. - Oh, my god!
- Call an ambulance!
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28. Oh, god! Steve!
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29. What the hell, Rick?
What the hell?
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30. Will everybody just relax
for a second?
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31. There's no such thing
as an "Uncle Steve."
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32. - That is an alien parasite.
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33. But I've known him
my whole life.
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34. No, you haven't,
Jerry.
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35. These telepathic
little bastards,
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36. they embed themselves
in memories,
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37. and th-then they use
those to multiply
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38. and spread out,
take over planets.
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39. It's —
it's disgusting.
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40. Steve wasn't real?
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41. He's a real
piece of shit.
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42. This is a big one.
Somebody probably
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43. tracked it in last week
on the bottom of their shoe
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44. on a piece of alien fruit.
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45. - Someone?
- Get off the high road, Summer.
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46. We all
got pink eye
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47. because you won't stop
texting on the toilet.
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48. But Uncle Steve taught me
how to ride a bike!
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49. No, "Steve" put that memory
in your brain
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50. so he could live in your house,
eat your food, and multiply.
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51. We could be infested
with these things.
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52. So we got to keep an eye out
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53. for any zany, wacky
characters that pop up.
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54. Ooh, whee!
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55. Whatever you want, Rick!
We're here to help!
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56. Thanks,
Mr. Poopybutthole.
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57. I always could
count on you.
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58. All right. There's six of us,
and that's it.
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59. Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth,
Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.
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60. Maybe you got the first one
in time, Rick!
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61. Can't afford to chance it.
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62. Dad, why does our house
have blast shields?
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63. Trust me, Beth,
you don't want to know
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64. how many answers
that question has.
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65. Ooh, gosh,
it feels claustrophobic!
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66. Reminds me
of that time
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67. we all got stuck
in the elevator together.
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68. Y— remember that?
After "The Hulk" musical?
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69. Jerry, buttons don't work better
if you hit them harder,
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70. And foam fists
don't make you strong.
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71. I know.
Friends make you strong.
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72. I watched
the same musical you did.
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73. Why couldn't I bring
my portal gun?
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74. Why did all the drinks
have to be extra large?
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75. Oh, the Hulk.
I just got that.
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76. Just pee your pants. I did it
the minute we got stuck.
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77. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,
shame me.
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78. At least when I'm disgusting,
it's on purpose.
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79. Oh, y'all,
we're gonna be fine.
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80. I've always been here for
you guys, and I always will be.
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81. Somebody call for repairs?
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82. Yay! Cousin Nicky!
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83. It's me, cousin Nicky.
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84. I'm walkin' here!
I mean, I'm not.
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85. I'm crouched
in the elevator shaft,
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86. but hey,
I'm walkin' here!
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87. It's true.
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88. We really do get into some
crazy situations as a family,
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89. mostly when
we're cooped up like this.
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90. Hey, maybe
Mr. Poopypants is right.
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91. L-let's get
some fresh air.
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92. Come on, cousin Nicky.
You heard Rick.
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93. We have to
stay quarantined
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94. until we know that there's
no more of these things.
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95. I hear you, Morty.
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96. Back in Brooklyn,
we got a sayin' —
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97. "We're walkin' here!"
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98. Nicky, get —
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99. Oh!
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100. What the...?
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101. Cousin Nicky
was a parasite?
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102. Six, Morty! There's supposed
to be six of us!
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103. If there's seven, then
that means somebody's not real.
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104. But how did you know
it was Nicky?
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105. I guessed. That's why I
aimed for his shoulder.
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106. So we can't trust
any of our memories now?
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107. Nicky was the reason we found
that old Nazi submarine.
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108. Did that
not even happen?
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109. Well,
of course it happened.
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110. Now that I possess
the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba,
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111. the world will tremble
before the Fourth Reich!
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112. This is
the last time
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113. I ask you for help
on my history final, Rick.
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114. Hey, we got a word for Nazis
back in Brooklyn, pal.
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115. I'm comfortable being
called a Nazi.
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116. You think there's some other
word that will hurt my feelings?
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117. Yeah. Think before
you talk shit.
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118. Rah-gubaba,
help me kill America!
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119. Mr. Beauregard!
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120. After due consideration,
I have elected not to retire.
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121. - Yeah!
- Oh, thank god!
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122. Now, I believe someone
has a final exam to attend.
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123. Set a course
for Morty's high school.
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124. Perhaps I'm biased, but if
that story never happened,
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125. then I wouldn't still be
the family butler.
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126. Dare to dream.
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127. Wait.
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128. And if Mr. Beauregard
wasn't our butler,
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129. it's safe to say the family'd be
in a hell of a lot of trouble.
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130. No! Don't flashback!
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131. You're just gonna make
more swelling.
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132. - Don't worry, Jerry.
- Just relax.
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133. We called
the fire department.
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134. You know they won't
come here anymore.
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135. Marmalade is served.
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136. - Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
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137. Oh, whee!
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138. I guess I take back what I said
about British cuisine.
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139. Take that, Summer!
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140. We're trying
to sleep.
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141. I don't want
to go to the dance alone.
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142. Then perhaps you shouldn't.
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143. Aww.
Mr. Beauregard.
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144. - Shall we, master Morty?
- We shall.
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145. Oh, wait,
don't leave without letting
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146. Photography Raptor
take a picture.
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147. Everybody
stop remembering!
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148. These parasites
are like bed bugs,
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149. and every flashback
is another mattress. Look!
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150. There's only supposed to be
six people in this house.
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151. But there's always
been 10.
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152. No!
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153. Uh, the fact
that I wrote this number down
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154. means that
there's four parasites.
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155. You sure about that,
Rick?
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156. Begging your pardon,
master Rick,
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157. but I seem to recall
a great deal of confusion
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158. surrounding
that number.
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159. All right,
there's six of us.
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160. And that's it.
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161. Me, Morty, Jerry,
Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,
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162. Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary,
Photography Raptor,
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163. Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.
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164. Uh, dad,
that's like 10 people.
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165. 6, 10,
what's the difference?
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166. I just love the number 6
for no reason!
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167. Where's my pencil at?
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168. Here, Rick!
Use me!
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169. Oh, thanks,
Pencilvester!
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170. Yeah, I-I g—
I guess that is what happened,
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171. but I-I don't get
why I would do that.
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172. Everybody makes
mistakes, Rick.
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173. Why do you think
I have one of these?
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174. That's it.
Photos.
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175. Hard evidence.
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176. You're not in any of my photos,
Mr. Poopybutthole.
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177. Well, what do you know
about this?
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178. You're not in
any of mine.
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179. All I have are pictures of me
and my friends from school.
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180. What? What teenage girl
has pictures of her family?
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181. It's not like we're
Mormon or dying.
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182. I will admit it's suspicious
that Summer's only friend
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183. is a magic ballerina lamb
that we've never seen.
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184. Summer!
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185. Tinkles!
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186. It's past my bedtime.
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187. Not in
Never Past Bedtime Land!
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188. Here we go!
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189. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
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190. - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Summer, we're trying to sleep.
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191. It was Tinkles!
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192. Tinkles?
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193. That is su— —
suspicious.
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194. We're always hearing about
this Tinkles character,
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195. - But we never get to —
- Hi, everybody.
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196. I'm Tinkles,
and these are my friends.
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197. See, everyone?
Tinkles is real.
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198. That means so am I.
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199. - Sorry, Summer.
- Man, I'm sorry, Summer.
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200. I was on the wrong side
of the pitchfork on this one.
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201. Okay, look, we shouldn't need
evidence or logic
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202. to know who's family
and who isn't.
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203. I know
who the Smiths are.
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204. I've known Beth
since High School.
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205. And her husband,
sleepy Gary,
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206. is hands down
my absolute best friend.
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207. Thanks, Jerry.
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208. Beyond that,
no offense to any of you,
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209. but all bets
are off.
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210. Look, I'm not used to being
this unsure for this long.
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211. I'm just gonna aim for shoulders
starting with the weird girl.
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212. Aah!
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213. - Grandpa Rick!
- Hold still, "Summer."
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214. Rick,
that is my daughter.
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215. Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just
think that, sleepy Gary?
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216. I've known you for 15 years.
Don't make me hurt you.
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217. Rick, these are
our family and friends,
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218. the people
we barbecue with.
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219. Have you forgotten
the barbecue?
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220. Wait,
why would you want me to —
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221. You're one of them,
aren't you?
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222. Rick. You love
those barbecues, Rick.
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223. You love them.
Hai!
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224. Remember it,
Rick?
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225. Shut up, Hamurai!
Shut up, Amish Cyborg!
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226. What is this?
'90s Conan?
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227. Remember the barbecue.
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228. Remember the barbecue.
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229. Remember the barbecue.
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230. You know what, Pencilvester?
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231. It took me my whole life
to realize it,
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232. but I love barbecuing.
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233. - You're good at it, Rick.
- Watch me, baby.
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234. I'm like Tom Cruise from,
um, "Cuisine"
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235. or w-whatever that movie's
called where he makes drinks.
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236. Yeah,
check me out.
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237. I'm like Tom Cruise
from "Cuisine."
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238. Yeah.
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239. Is that what it's called?
"Cuisine"?
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240. Wow!
Hey, everybody.
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241. Let's give it up
for the grillmaster Rick!
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242. Rick!
Rick! Rick!
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243. Wait.
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244. Noooooo!
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245. Shoot. Now look.
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246. It's like
a "Where's Waldo?" page.
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247. Can you find me?
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248. Check out
all these zany characters.
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249. We'll be right back
after these messages.
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250. I think
you should put down the gun
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251. and we should get you
to a doctor.
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252. What do you say we take down
these blast shields?
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253. - yeah.
- I can't do that, sleepy Gary.
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254. All right,
everybody listen to me.
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255. I don't know
if any of you guys are real,
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256. but this house has been infested
with fake loved ones
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257. that spread
through fake memories,
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258. and our planet will be destroyed
if they get out.
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259. But, Rick,
even you have to admit
Copy !req
260. you do tend
to overreact to stuff.
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261. You guys,
we got to hurry.
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262. I just got back
from Walmart.
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263. They're selling Nintendo 3DS
systems for $149.99 on sale,
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264. plus every time you buy one,
you get a $50 gift card.
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265. Brings the total price down
to $110 after tax.
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266. Now, listen, we can flip
those sons of bitches
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267. for 230 bucks
apiece easy!
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268. They're all limited-edition
"Zelda" ones.
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269. Hurry! Hurry!
Come with me!
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270. We can be rich,
and we also all get to keep one
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271. and we can play
Nintendo games!
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272. Nintendo,
give me free stuff.
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273. Okay, yes, I definitely
remember doing that,
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274. but also,
I would never do that.
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275. Don't overreact, Rick.
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276. Sleepy Gary, a word?
Sure, Jerry.
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277. Rick, keep a
level head, okay?
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278. 'Cause I'll tell you a secret
about Frankenstein —
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279. He's actually
Frankenstein's monster.
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280. Sleepy Gary,
m-my head is filled
Copy !req
281. with memories
of our friendship.
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282. I'm convinced
that you're Beth's husband
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283. and I'm your friend,
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284. but if those memories
can't be trusted, then...
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285. Jerry,
just say it.
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286. Sleepy Gary,
how do we know I'm real?
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287. Jesus, Jerry.
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288. No, you're real.
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289. Hey,
look at me.
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290. Now, I don't know
which way is up out there,
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291. but I know us,
and you're real, Jerry.
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292. Remember our vacation?
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293. They're filming that new "Star
Wars" movie down the coast.
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294. Should we
check it out?
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295. Sure. Why not?
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296. Maybe we'll see
Chewbacca.
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297. I'd like that.
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298. What are we doing?
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299. I don't give a damn
what else happens out there.
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300. You and I
are going to survive this.
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301. Okay.
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302. Hey,
we agreed.
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303. Never in the house.
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304. That's a cool watch
there, Rick.
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305. Can I
check it out?
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306. Uh, no thank —
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307. Okay.
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308. Trying
to figure out
Copy !req
309. how to lower
the blast shields, huh?
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310. Anybody here
think it's suspicious
Copy !req
311. that a lot of people in here
can't wait to get out of here?
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312. Ah, you're paranoid, Rick.
You've been paranoid since 'Nam.
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313. So,
what are you gonna do
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314. when you rotate back
to the world, Frankenstein?
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315. Shi-i-i-i-t.
I'mma bust a —
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316. No!
Get out of my head, parasite!
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317. - No!
- Drop it.
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318. Give me the gun,
Frankenstein!
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319. Give it back!
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320. Yeah!
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321. Frankenstein!
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322. Is anyone here even real?
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323. Am I the only real person
on Earth?
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324. Maybe.
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325. Or maybe, just maybe,
we're all real.
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326. You know me.
I'm Reverse Giraffe.
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327. I have a short neck
and legs.
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328. I went to college
with Hamurai. Hai!
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329. I saved Ghost In A Jar's
life in Vietnam.
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330. Boo rah!
And, Beth, how many times
Copy !req
331. have I been a shoulder
for you to cry on?
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332. Too many.
Copy !req
333. Okay,
so maybe we're just all fake.
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334. That don't make
no sense!
Copy !req
335. Or maybe there's only one
deceiver here —
Copy !req
336. The person
that keeps telling us
Copy !req
337. the path to salvation
is being held prisoner
Copy !req
338. and mistrusting
each other.
Copy !req
339. Hey,
don't blame me!
Copy !req
340. I tried to shoot Summer
10 minutes ago!
Copy !req
341. I know we all have
beloved memories of Rick,
Copy !req
342. but are we really
supposed to believe
Copy !req
343. that a mad scientist inventor
with a flying car
Copy !req
344. just showed up on our doorstep
after being gone for years?
Copy !req
345. Yeah, you know,
he does have
Copy !req
346. a lot of really weird,
made-up sounding catchphrases.
Copy !req
347. Wubba lubba dub dub!
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348. Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!
Copy !req
349. And that's the wa-a-a-a-y
the news goes.
Copy !req
350. Hit the sack,
Jack.
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351. Uh-oh!
Somersault jump.
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352. AIDS!
Copy !req
353. And that's why I always say
shum shum shlippedy dop!
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354. Grassss tastes bad-ah.
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355. No jumpin'
in the sewer.
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356. Burger time!
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357. Rubber baby
baby bunkers!
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358. Lick, lick,
lick my balls!
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359. Yeah!
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360. Say that all the time.
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361. That's a fake-ass catchphrase
right there.
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362. Yeah, don't forget
his incredibly vague back story.
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363. Beth,
I'm your father!
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364. Oh, are you, dad?
Are you?
Copy !req
365. Rick, if you want
to prove you're real,
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366. just do what any of the rest
of us would do and —
Copy !req
367. and — and open
the blast shields
Copy !req
368. and let us
the hell out of here!
Copy !req
369. Why don't you make me,
implausibly naive pubescent boy
Copy !req
370. with an old Jewish
comedy writer's name?
Copy !req
371. Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!
Copy !req
372. In your face!
Copy !req
373. Give me the gun.
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374. I'm not doing this
in front of Pencilvester.
Copy !req
375. Bring him
to the garage.
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376. You listen to me, you
son of a bitch parasite scum.
Copy !req
377. We could either do this
the easy way or the hard way.
Copy !req
378. You know, y-y-y—
do you want to live?
Copy !req
379. Then open
the blast shield doors.
Copy !req
380. Shut up, Morty,
you brainwashed, little turd
Copy !req
381. that might not even be real
because I'm brainwashed, too.
Copy !req
382. You know, Rick,
this isn't easy for us.
Copy !req
383. You know, w-we all remember
you as a friend.
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384. Oh, oh, oh,
really?
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385. Well, I remember you as a whiny,
little piece of shit, Morty!
Copy !req
386. - Oh — oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
Copy !req
387. I've got
about a thousand memories
Copy !req
388. of your dumb, little ass and
about six of them are pleasant.
Copy !req
389. The rest
is annoying garbage.
Copy !req
390. So why don't you do us both
a favor and pull the trigger?
Copy !req
391. Do it!
Do it, motherfucker!
Copy !req
392. Pull
the fucking trigger!
Copy !req
393. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
394. Baby Wizard
was a parasite?
Copy !req
395. He set me up
with my wife.
Copy !req
396. What the hell?
Copy !req
397. I figured it out, Rick!
Copy !req
398. The parasites can only create
pleasant memories.
Copy !req
399. I know
you're real
Copy !req
400. because I have a ton
of bad memories with you!
Copy !req
401. Holy crap, Morty,
you're right.
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402. Is — is — isn't that what you were trying
to make me understand by yelling at me?
Copy !req
403. Well, yeah,
duh-doy.
Copy !req
404. T-took you
long enough.
Copy !req
405. Now let's go, Morty.
Copy !req
406. We got a lot of friends
and family to exterminate.
Copy !req
407. Everybody remain calm! This is
gonna take some explaining.
Copy !req
408. We need to kill everyone that
we can only remember fondly.
Copy !req
409. Who's got a bad memory
about Mrs. Refrigerator?
Copy !req
410. I-I-I-I — everyone has
bad memories of me.
Copy !req
411. You remember
that one time?
Copy !req
412. Ooh, man,
we couldn't stop screaming.
Copy !req
413. Uh, roller coasters aren't bad,
Mrs. Refrigerator.
Copy !req
414. They're thrilling.
Copy !req
415. And you've been a perfect
companion to me my entire life.
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416. The jig is up!
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417. Get me out of here.
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418. Get me out of here!
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419. Aah!
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420. Oh shit!
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421. Everybody back!
If you're not a parasite,
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422. you have nothing to fear.
So what about Summer?
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423. Why am I
always your go-to?
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424. - Never go in my room again.
- I didn't!
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425. She's real.
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426. She's my bitch
of a sister.
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427. Nice.
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428. Mom,
are you driving me to —
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429. Hmm?
Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?
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430. Oh, my god.
Are you drunk?
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431. What are you?
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432. My wife coach?
- Your what?
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433. - Oh! God!
- Oh. Oh, my gosh.
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434. - Oh! God! Mom!
- Sweetheart, are you okay?
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435. I didn't mean to —
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436. I'm gonna have a bruise!
It's picture day!
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437. It's not — don't overreact.
I can clean it up.
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438. I want the police to take me!
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439. Morty,
give a gun to the lady
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440. that got pregnant with me
too early
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441. and constantly makes it
our problem.
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442. Thank you,
sweetie.
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443. Beth, Beth, please!
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444. I thought it was too
good to be true
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445. that we'd have
compatible kidneys.
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446. Come on, man.
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447. Haven't we ever had
an uncomfortable silence
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448. or an awkward fart
on a road trip?
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449. Come on, Pencilvester.
Give me anything.
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450. Rick,
I'm Pencilvester.
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451. Listen to that name.
You can't kill me.
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452. You're right.
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453. Kill Pencilvester.
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454. Summer,
I've always loved you!
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455. Yep.
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456. Oh, my god!
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457. I-I-I thought you went
to a concert!
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458. We forgot the tickets!
Why in the kitchen?
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459. I do it everywhere!
Stop shaming me!
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460. You're not
the victim here!
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461. I hate you, and I was thinking
about your friend Grace!
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462. Aaaaaah!
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463. Ah. Master Rick.
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464. Remember when you weren't
going to shoot me?
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465. I guess I did the Butler!
Ha ha!
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466. Does —
d-does that scan?
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467. Oh,
I-I get it.
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468. It's a play
on "The Butler Did It."
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469. Thanks,
Ghost In A Jar.
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470. You always were good at pointing
out potentially obscure comedy.
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471. You got to hide me,
sleepy Gary.
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472. Don't worry.
I have a plan.
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473. If we can get to my boat,
there's a —
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474. No. No!
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475. Just send me to Gary.
I want to be with Gary.
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476. Oh, god.
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477. Whoa.
What the hell?
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478. Look out
for that homeless guy!
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479. Open the door!
Open the door! Open the door!
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480. There isn't time!
Just run!
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481. Get out here and help me!
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482. They say you shouldn't do that!
Just run!
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483. Ugh. Sorry, Jerry.
You're real.
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484. I'm a parasite!
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485. Yeah,
but you're real.
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486. Uh, uh, I need time
to forget about sleepy Gary.
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487. Me, too.
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488. From now on, let's all be careful
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489. to wash our hands when
we get back from outer space.
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490. That goes
for everyone.
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491. This is depressing.
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492. We killed every good
person in the house.
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493. We're what's left?
What a family.
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494. At least we're real,
Jerry.
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495. We're real.
Ricky ticky tavi!
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496. Ooh, whee!
Amen to that.
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497. Now, this little Poopypants
is hungry.
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498. Will somebody
pass me a pork chop?
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499. Huh.
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500. I-is — is something wrong,
Beth?
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501. Ow!
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502. Oh, my god!
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503. No, Beth! Oh fuck!
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504. Wait, but I —
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505. - Oh, Beth! Why?
- I need an ambulance!
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506. There's been a shooting.
My wife shot...
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507. Uh, my — my wife shot
a long-time family friend.
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508. Why?
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509. Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.
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510. - I-I thought —
- Keep breathing!
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511. - Oh, god. What's happening?
- Look at me!
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512. Look at me!
Don't — don't fall asleep!
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513. Is — is this what
bleeding to death is?
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514. Oh, whee.
Is this how I die?
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515. Oh, geez!
Oh, my god!
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516. Why would you
do this? Beth.
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517. It's not
supposed to hurt.
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518. - I-I thought...
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519. Ooh, whee.
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520. Oh, he — he's looking
a lot better.
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521. Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.
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522. I made a similar mistake
years ago,
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523. but, you know,
on a planetary scale.
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524. Is, um,
is he mad at me?
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525. He's not
pressing charges.
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526. I mean, that's got to be
the "You shot me" equivalent
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527. of not being mad.
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528. Can he
have visitors?
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529. He'd like
to be alone.
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530. He told me
to tell you he's sorry
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531. you didn't have bad
memories of him?
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532. If you love him,
you should leave.
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533. And that's the wa-a-a-a-y
the news goes.
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534. Did you get any of that?
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535. It's-a good show-a.
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