1. - Previously
on "Resident Alien"...Copy !req
2. - Oh!
- Aah!Copy !req
3. - So what happened to the real
Harry Vanderspeigle?Copy !req
4. - I don't know.Copy !req
5. - Dr. Vanderspeigle,
a new doctor has arrived.Copy !req
6. - Please call me Dr. Ethan.
- I'm glad you know about me.Copy !req
7. - Nobody wants to hide
who they really are.Copy !req
8. - You should stop feeling
guilty about giving away Jay.Copy !req
9. She is a survivor.Copy !req
10. - He will die.Copy !req
11. - My leg—
chop it off.Copy !req
12. - Aah!Copy !req
13. - If Asta wasn't there,
I would be dead.Copy !req
14. - They took your spaceship,
didn't they?Copy !req
15. That means they're after you.Copy !req
16. It's probably M.I.B.--
men in black.Copy !req
17. - I invited a friend over
with her husband.Copy !req
18. This is Sarah
and Richard Houston.Copy !req
19. You can babysit Max
whenever you want.Copy !req
20. - Oh, I would love that.Copy !req
21. - You shouldn't
have taken that.Copy !req
22. Now the kid's gonna know
we were in his room.Copy !req
23. - Good.Copy !req
24. Then when he goes to warn it,
we'll be right on its tail.Copy !req
25. - Asta!
Are you in there?Copy !req
26. - Everyone has to die.Copy !req
27. It is the normal
cycle of lifeCopy !req
28. for beings across
the entire universe.Copy !req
29. Some may live longer
than others,Copy !req
30. but every organism
comes into beingCopy !req
31. and then ceases being.Copy !req
32. The animals know this.Copy !req
33. They live in harmony
with the Earth,Copy !req
34. as it was meant to be.Copy !req
35. Everyone I kill with my device
is going to die anyway.Copy !req
36. At least I'm killing them
for a good reason.Copy !req
37. It's different for humans.Copy !req
38. Humans kill because they know
they're small,Copy !req
39. insignificant, weak.Copy !req
40. And killing makes them
feel strong...Copy !req
41. even if it's just
for a moment.Copy !req
42. And when humans are smart,Copy !req
43. they may even get away
with murder.Copy !req
44. Of course, no being really
gets away with anything.Copy !req
45. The universe knows
what you have done,Copy !req
46. even if nobody else does.Copy !req
47. And the universe
will restore balanceCopy !req
48. one way or another.Copy !req
49. Humans have a word for this.Copy !req
50. They call it "karma."Copy !req
51. - I thought you said
Asta's car was here.Copy !req
52. - Oh.
Calling me a liar?Copy !req
53. - Well, if the shoe fits,
D'arce.Copy !req
54. - Please don't fight.Copy !req
55. Look, D'arce, we're all just
freaking out a little bit.Copy !req
56. Like, this is bad.Copy !req
57. - You damn near
gave me a heart attackCopy !req
58. banging on my door like that
at the crack of dawn.Copy !req
59. - Oh, I'm so sorry
that finding the dead bodyCopy !req
60. of the man I love
locked in a freezerCopy !req
61. is so inconvenient for you!Copy !req
62. All right?
It's a human life, asshole.Copy !req
63. Okay?
Harry is dead.Copy !req
64. - What is going on out here?Copy !req
65. I'm standing here wondering
why I ain't home in bed.Copy !req
66. - Thank God you're alive.Copy !req
67. - This is—no, it's impossible.Copy !req
68. - She is worse than your dog.Copy !req
69. - Yeah, well, I didn't have
the heart to wake Cletus up.Copy !req
70. He was in REM sleep
chasing goats.Copy !req
71. - I'll get her.Copy !req
72. - Sorry about this, Dr. V,Copy !req
73. but, uh, D'arcy broke
into your cellar last nightCopy !req
74. and she thinks she saw
a dead you in the freezer.Copy !req
75. - Mm.
- I told her it was probablyCopy !req
76. just some meat in there
that looked like you,Copy !req
77. like a frozen pig or something.Copy !req
78. - I am more handsome
than a pig.Copy !req
79. - Oh, me too.
Yeah, man, I'm probablyCopy !req
80. somewhere between a pig
and a dolphin.Copy !req
81. You know, that dolphin,
that's a fine-ass animal.Copy !req
82. - It's nothing but meat.Copy !req
83. - You moved the body.
- Sure enough.Copy !req
84. And here it is.Copy !req
85. - No, I meant
the dead guy, dipshit.Copy !req
86. Obviously it's not him,Copy !req
87. but I saw
a dead body down there.Copy !req
88. Why was Asta's car outside?Copy !req
89. - We went to a medical
conference together.Copy !req
90. You smell like alcohol.Copy !req
91. - Okay, come on, D'arce.
You have to go now.Copy !req
92. I'll buy you breakfast.
- No.Copy !req
93. No!Copy !req
94. I know what I saw.
Stop trying to gaslight me.Copy !req
95. I know I'm not crazy.Copy !req
96. - The deputy said...Copy !req
97. it's time to go.Copy !req
98. - What? No.Copy !req
99. No!
- Let's—Copy !req
100. - Get your —---- hands
off me!Copy !req
101. - Oh, dear.Copy !req
102. - Ah!
Help me, Deputy!Copy !req
103. She on me like a spider!
- Dish it out—Copy !req
104. - It's unfortunate I have to
kill everyone and leave here.Copy !req
105. The warmth of spring
is just arriving.Copy !req
106. - Ow!Copy !req
107. - Let go of my damn hair!
Ah!Copy !req
108. - Let go of his hair.
- Ah, get your damn—Copy !req
109. - D'arcy, let go of the chair.Copy !req
110. - Yes.
- Take that!Copy !req
111. - You spit—
- It is quite nice here.Copy !req
112. - Handcuffs,
that's what they're for.Copy !req
113. They're for cuffing hands!Copy !req
114. Come on.
Come on.Copy !req
115. I give you credit.
- Okay.Copy !req
116. - You fight like a pack
of pit bulls.Copy !req
117. - Ugh, come on, hit me!Copy !req
118. You know you want to
hit me, Sheriff.Copy !req
119. Do it!
- Please stop struggling!Copy !req
120. It's gonna be okay,
I'll drive your car back.Copy !req
121. - Ow!
- Get in the car!Copy !req
122. - I'm sorry about this, Doctor.Copy !req
123. - Yes, I'm very upset
at this intrusion.Copy !req
124. - "I'm gonna read you
your rights."Copy !req
125. What do I say?Copy !req
126. Tell me what I say!Copy !req
127. - That's the problem.Copy !req
128. - Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
129. Okay, all right, all right,
all right, all right.Copy !req
130. - Pull it up.
I have to see this.Copy !req
131. - Aye.Copy !req
132. There, she's stealing it.Copy !req
133. - I knew it.Copy !req
134. She's a woman in a purple
skirt, man in black.Copy !req
135. - We have to warn Harry.Copy !req
136. - Told you he'd lead us
to the alien.Copy !req
137. - You want to tell me
what happened?Copy !req
138. I'm worried about you.
- You're overreacting.Copy !req
139. It's not like you've never
bailed me out of jail before.Copy !req
140. - "Overreacting"?
Cool.Copy !req
141. I woke up this morning
to a hundred textsCopy !req
142. and a voicemail
from you screaming,Copy !req
143. "He's dead!
He's dead!"Copy !req
144. - All right, look,
I know what happened.Copy !req
145. All right?
You and Harry murdered a guy.Copy !req
146. It happens,
but I'm here for you.Copy !req
147. We're gonna take my car
to Canada.Copy !req
148. From there, I've got an old
ski buddy in Juneau.Copy !req
149. There's a safe deposit box,
1,000 bucks to keep us going.Copy !req
150. Three passports.
So...Copy !req
151. - That's... a lot to process.Copy !req
152. Uh, but, no,
I did not kill anyone.Copy !req
153. - Are you sure?Copy !req
154. I'd remember.Copy !req
155. - Right.
Right.Copy !req
156. Cool, so the Sheriff was right.
I'm seeing things.Copy !req
157. New low.
- D'arcy, what did you do?Copy !req
158. - I sort of broke
into Harry's house last night,Copy !req
159. and I saw a freezer
full of meat,Copy !req
160. and I thought
it was a dead body.Copy !req
161. - D'arce,
how much did you have to drink?Copy !req
162. - Barely anything to drink.Copy !req
163. I had a couple edibles
and a pill I found in my couch.Copy !req
164. - Come on!
- Look...Copy !req
165. you're obviously keeping
some big secret from me.Copy !req
166. - You're my best friend!Copy !req
167. I would not keep secrets
from you.Copy !req
168. - You're lying.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
169. - Yes, you are.
- No.Copy !req
170. - You have a tell, remember?Copy !req
171. When you're lying,
you get overly huggyCopy !req
172. and touchy.Copy !req
173. - That's not true.Copy !req
174. D'arce, come on.Copy !req
175. - Thanks for bailing me out.
I got to go.Copy !req
176. - D'arcy.Copy !req
177. God.Copy !req
178. - Slow down.
You're too close.Copy !req
179. - Jesus Christ, it's like
driving with my grandmother.Copy !req
180. "Why don't you go
out back, Memaw,Copy !req
181. and knit me a sweater?"Copy !req
182. Great, you distracted me, now
we're losing the little shit.Copy !req
183. - Oh, my God.
Are—are you all right?Copy !req
184. - Watch your language, please.Copy !req
185. And you owe me $100
for the bike.Copy !req
186. - Um...Copy !req
187. looks fine to me.Copy !req
188. - I'd be happy
to wait for the police.Copy !req
189. - Pay the girl.Copy !req
190. You're the one who made me
run her over.Copy !req
191. Let's go.Copy !req
192. Now we've lost him.Copy !req
193. - Pleasure.Copy !req
194. - Taking so long.
- It's $100.Copy !req
195. - My device is at full power.Copy !req
196. With one press of the button,
the timer will begin,Copy !req
197. and roughly
90 Earth minutes later,Copy !req
198. 8 billion humans
will cease to exist.Copy !req
199. This is the moment
I fulfill the missionCopy !req
200. that will change the course
of the universe forever.Copy !req
201. Are you dreaming of pizza?Copy !req
202. Mama Sap's Pizza is now openCopy !req
203. in the heart
of downtown Patience!Copy !req
204. I can't kill everyone on Earth
with an empty stomach.Copy !req
205. - Is Jay working here?Copy !req
206. - I gave her a part-time job.Copy !req
207. - Dad, I don't think
that's a good idea.Copy !req
208. - You're friends with an alien,
and Jay's a bad idea?Copy !req
209. - Oh, she's coming over.
Get out of here!Copy !req
210. - Hey.Copy !req
211. - Hey.Copy !req
212. Um, I see you have a new job.Copy !req
213. - Yeah.
First day.Copy !req
214. - Cool.Copy !req
215. - Look, D'arcy told me
what happened on the mountain.Copy !req
216. Just wanted to make sure
you didn't loseCopy !req
217. any fingers or toes
or anything.Copy !req
218. - Uh, no.
Um...Copy !req
219. Got 'em!Copy !req
220. Look, I was gonna tell youCopy !req
221. that if you ever want to talk
about...Copy !req
222. everything, anything, I'm here.Copy !req
223. - You want me to talk to you
about you?Copy !req
224. - Well...Copy !req
225. I was thinking we could—
- No.Copy !req
226. - Sure.
Yeah.Copy !req
227. - You know, I should
get back to work.Copy !req
228. - Of course.
It was nice to see you.Copy !req
229. Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
230. - Hello, Miss Twelvetrees.Copy !req
231. - Help yourself.Copy !req
232. - I know that you know.Copy !req
233. I know that you know.Copy !req
234. Does she know?Copy !req
235. - "She" has a name.Copy !req
236. And she knows.Copy !req
237. She knows a lot.Copy !req
238. We have a situation.Copy !req
239. - The government is after him.Copy !req
240. They know that I know
who he is.Copy !req
241. - What?
How?Copy !req
242. - Because they're
the government.Copy !req
243. Don't be so naive.Copy !req
244. - Excuse me?Copy !req
245. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
246. Sometimes I speak to adults
like they're my peersCopy !req
247. because I'm mature for my age.Copy !req
248. I'm working on it.Copy !req
249. - I hid a camera in my room,Copy !req
250. and I saw them search my house.
- What?Copy !req
251. - And they went back
to their base,Copy !req
252. and now they're driving around
searching for him.Copy !req
253. - How do you know
where their base is?Copy !req
254. - We have our ways.Copy !req
255. Where is my phone?Copy !req
256. - I learned from the squirrelsCopy !req
257. that when you've filled
your stomach,Copy !req
258. you should take as much food
as you can to eat later.Copy !req
259. With this pizza stack,
I can kill everyoneCopy !req
260. and still have pizza
to eat for days.Copy !req
261. And now, with a belly
that's burstingCopy !req
262. like a stuffed garbage bag,Copy !req
263. there's nothing stopping me
from completing my mission.Copy !req
264. I should test it first.Copy !req
265. - Okay, you two.Copy !req
266. I'll be upstairs on the
treadmill if you need anything.Copy !req
267. Sahar, thank you again for
helping Max with his homework.Copy !req
268. - I don't mind.Copy !req
269. I want to be a teacher
when I'm old, like you.Copy !req
270. - Wow.Copy !req
271. I'm not old.
I'm young, okay?Copy !req
272. My life is not passing me by.Copy !req
273. I'm just—just living it.
But that's—that's wonderful.Copy !req
274. It's just wonderful.Copy !req
275. - This... makes no sense.Copy !req
276. It says the phone is here.Copy !req
277. - You're tracking
the wrong phone.Copy !req
278. Put it on your mom's.Copy !req
279. - It is on my mom's.Copy !req
280. - It can't be.Copy !req
281. I put your mom's phone
right under the RV.Copy !req
282. - Lock the front door.
I'll get the back.Copy !req
283. Don't be afraid.Copy !req
284. We just need your help.Copy !req
285. - I'm not giving
your 100 bucks back.Copy !req
286. - My device uses
the Earth's own energyCopy !req
287. to send a pulse
throughout the worldCopy !req
288. that will kill every human.Copy !req
289. I can also direct it
to a singular pointCopy !req
290. and get rid of this body.Copy !req
291. - Will it hurt?Copy !req
292. - You again?Copy !req
293. - You know
you're just stalling.Copy !req
294. You're afraid to kill everyone.Copy !req
295. - No, I'm not.Copy !req
296. My people do not feel fear.Copy !req
297. - Yes, but you're not
your people anymore, are you?Copy !req
298. You've been infected
with humanity.Copy !req
299. - I don't need to listen
to this!Copy !req
300. - I was supposed to die
of old age with Isabelle.Copy !req
301. I even bought a plot
in Upstate New YorkCopy !req
302. under the most beautiful
maple tree.Copy !req
303. We were supposed to be
next to each other forever.Copy !req
304. - Do you miss her?Copy !req
305. - I miss a lot of things...Copy !req
306. the five senses...Copy !req
307. driving around
with nowhere to go...Copy !req
308. tacos.Copy !req
309. But I loved Isabelle.
- How do you know?Copy !req
310. - How do I know
I loved my wife?Copy !req
311. - What did it feel like?Copy !req
312. - It feels like...Copy !req
313. life.Copy !req
314. Like everything
you've ever felt.Copy !req
315. The joy and the fury
held in your heartCopy !req
316. and wrapped in...Copy !req
317. hope...Copy !req
318. hope that everything
will be okay.Copy !req
319. Love makes you feel
connected to everything.Copy !req
320. Make you feel light-headed,
you feel like you're floating.Copy !req
321. - I love Isabelle, too.Copy !req
322. - You're an asshole.
You don't even know her!Copy !req
323. - I do.Copy !req
324. When she left...Copy !req
325. my heart felt
like it was falling.Copy !req
326. - That's rejection.Copy !req
327. That's not love.Copy !req
328. - Then why do I feel
the other things?Copy !req
329. I feel hope.Copy !req
330. I feel connected to everyone...Copy !req
331. to everything.Copy !req
332. - I used to feel those things.Copy !req
333. You took it all from me.Copy !req
334. - I'm sorry.Copy !req
335. - You didn't just take Isabelle
away from me.Copy !req
336. When you killed me,
you took me away from Isabelle.Copy !req
337. She needs me.Copy !req
338. - Stop.Copy !req
339. Stop doing that with your eyes.Copy !req
340. - When you killed me,
you killed her.Copy !req
341. - No.
- Yes!Copy !req
342. She cries every day.Copy !req
343. - No.
No, she doesn't.Copy !req
344. - You broke her heart!Copy !req
345. - Stop!Copy !req
346. - Harry, uh,
where are you?Copy !req
347. Please call me
when you get this.Copy !req
348. I need to talk to you.Copy !req
349. - Hey, Asta.
How you doing?Copy !req
350. - Oh, hey.
Um...Copy !req
351. I need to leave early.
Is that okay?Copy !req
352. - That's fine.
It's slow.Copy !req
353. I'll hold down the fort.Copy !req
354. - Okay.
Thank you.Copy !req
355. - Hey, Asta,
can you help me out?Copy !req
356. I need that dead foot.Copy !req
357. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
358. I found a boot.
I need to see if it's a match.Copy !req
359. There might be another murder
in town.Copy !req
360. - So you're telling me
eventuallyCopy !req
361. that thing
will look like that one?Copy !req
362. Where did you get the boot?Copy !req
363. - On the shore next to
Dr. Vanderspeigle's house.Copy !req
364. - So what happened to the real
Harry Vanderspeigle?Copy !req
365. - I don't know.Copy !req
366. - I sort of broke
into Harry's house last night,Copy !req
367. and I saw a freezer
full of meat,Copy !req
368. and I thought
it was a dead body.Copy !req
369. - Another murder is horrible,Copy !req
370. but we're gonna get
who did this.Copy !req
371. Promise.Copy !req
372. Okay?Copy !req
373. - She has her earphones in.Copy !req
374. She can't hear anything.Copy !req
375. - I could scream louder
than her workout songs.Copy !req
376. I can get her down here
in two seconds!Copy !req
377. - Well, you're not gonna like
what happens to herCopy !req
378. when you do that.Copy !req
379. You need to tell us
where this alien is,Copy !req
380. you little shits.
- Why should we?Copy !req
381. - Because it's here
to kill us all.Copy !req
382. - If you think I am afraid
to kill everybody,Copy !req
383. you are dumb!Copy !req
384. I could press this button
at any time.Copy !req
385. If you agree with meCopy !req
386. and I am right
and you are wrong,Copy !req
387. then just sit there dead
and don't say anything.Copy !req
388. Okay, then.Copy !req
389. We agree.Copy !req
390. Goodbye, only human
in the room.Copy !req
391. That's impossible.Copy !req
392. The energy doesn't affect
my people.Copy !req
393. Was he right?Copy !req
394. Am I no longer my people?Copy !req
395. But that means
if I set off my device,Copy !req
396. it will kill me, too.Copy !req
397. - Hey.Copy !req
398. What are you doing out here?Copy !req
399. - Nothing.Copy !req
400. Just making up nicknames
for everybody who walks by.Copy !req
401. Want to have a seat,
Mr. Short Pants?Copy !req
402. - Cool, guess I'll be throwing
these out when I get home.Copy !req
403. This is the same bench
that we sat onCopy !req
404. that day we skipped
Mrs. Henderson's science class.Copy !req
405. - God, you're right.Copy !req
406. - That's a long time ago.Copy !req
407. - Are you okay?Copy !req
408. - I...Copy !req
409. remember being so happy
that day.Copy !req
410. That was right before
I left for Stratton.Copy !req
411. I remember feeling like...Copy !req
412. my life was just starting.Copy !req
413. - Yeah, you've always
been happy like that.Copy !req
414. It's what I love about you.Copy !req
415. You know,
it's what everyone loves.Copy !req
416. - I'm not happy.Copy !req
417. - You're not?
- Are you?Copy !req
418. - Well, no.Copy !req
419. But I was never really happy
to begin with.Copy !req
420. - So...Copy !req
421. - Yeah, well, I had a chance
at being happy, but...Copy !req
422. it just went away, you know?Copy !req
423. I hurt my leg, and that was it.Copy !req
424. - Hey...Copy !req
425. You can be happy.Copy !req
426. Look, I'm gonna play
the nickname game with you,Copy !req
427. and your nickname is Miss...Copy !req
428. You're Amazing.Copy !req
429. - All right.Copy !req
430. Well, you're...
bad at that game.Copy !req
431. But it's true.Copy !req
432. I mean, you've accomplished
so much in your life.Copy !req
433. - Shut up.Copy !req
434. I-I'm not amazing.Copy !req
435. I-I feel like I've done
nothing with my life.Copy !req
436. I just...Copy !req
437. wanted to—Copy !req
438. I just wanted to matter...Copy !req
439. make a difference
to somebody, I—Copy !req
440. Maybe it's all just bullshit.Copy !req
441. - No, you matter.Copy !req
442. You're smart and funny.Copy !req
443. I-I wish I was like you.Copy !req
444. I'm terrified
of pretty much everything.Copy !req
445. But sometimes
I look at you, and...Copy !req
446. you're so fearless.Copy !req
447. It makes me feel,
I don't know, less scared.Copy !req
448. You know, you make me happy.Copy !req
449. Um...Copy !req
450. what are you doing?
- Sorry.Copy !req
451. - I'm married, D'arcy.
- Sorry about that.Copy !req
452. Yeah.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
453. - I'm so sorry,Copy !req
454. I thought that—
- Uh, no, it's okay.Copy !req
455. I got to go.
- Right, right.Copy !req
456. Got to—got to go.Copy !req
457. Shit!Copy !req
458. Ahh.Copy !req
459. - Please, Max,
you have to trust me.Copy !req
460. He is going to kill everyone.Copy !req
461. Tell us who he is.Copy !req
462. - He's not going
to kill everyone.Copy !req
463. - His ship
is a Quimbaya amulet.Copy !req
464. - Max, he's going
to kill everyone.Copy !req
465. - He won't.
He'll listen to me!Copy !req
466. - Why are you in my house?Copy !req
467. Sarah, what is going on?Copy !req
468. - "Hey, honey."Copy !req
469. "Good evening, sweetheart."Copy !req
470. "Oh, yeah, day was good.
What's for dinner?Copy !req
471. Divorce?
Great."Copy !req
472. Lock the door?
That's weird.Copy !req
473. - Okay, take
whatever you want.Copy !req
474. Please.
- Don't make me use this gun.Copy !req
475. - Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Don't hurt the kids.Copy !req
476. - Mike, I need your help.
There's people in my house.Copy !req
477. My family is in there.
They have a gun.Copy !req
478. - What?
Okay, all right, look.Copy !req
479. Do not move.
Don't go inside.Copy !req
480. We'll be there in five minutes,
all right?Copy !req
481. - No, no, no, we don't have
five minutes.Copy !req
482. - Look, do not go inside!
We're on the way.Copy !req
483. Deputy!Copy !req
484. - Shit!Copy !req
485. - Shit!Copy !req
486. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
487. Help.Copy !req
488. - Let me out of here!Copy !req
489. If you touch my kid,
I will kill you!Copy !req
490. - Max, who is that?Copy !req
491. Why is he wearing
a white coat, hmm?Copy !req
492. - Okay, I'll tell you.Copy !req
493. - I swear to God!Copy !req
494. Get away from my kid!Copy !req
495. - Okay, he told us who it is.Copy !req
496. We got what we need.
Let's go.Copy !req
497. - Hold on, Max!
- Whoa, we're not doing that.Copy !req
498. - We're doing whatever
I say we're doing.Copy !req
499. - Get down.Copy !req
500. - You guys are like Daredevil
and the Black Widow.Copy !req
501. - Thank you for saving my life.Copy !req
502. - Time to go.Copy !req
503. - These things don't usually
have a happy ending.Copy !req
504. It could've been a lot worse.Copy !req
505. - Yeah, I don't recommend
citizens taking the lawCopy !req
506. into their own hands,
but that was—Copy !req
507. that was some real hero shit
the two of you did in there.Copy !req
508. - Well, we're
a pretty good team.Copy !req
509. - Yes, we are.Copy !req
510. - You both have blood,
like, all over your shoes.Copy !req
511. - I'm never washing them.Copy !req
512. - Me neither.Copy !req
513. - Oh, no.Copy !req
514. - That's a lot of tongue.Copy !req
515. - You trying to get
all the way in the back?Copy !req
516. Y'all nasty.
- Really?Copy !req
517. - Y'all got a room
right upstairs.Copy !req
518. - Oh, boy.Copy !req
519. - How's that article coming?Copy !req
520. Need another quote?Copy !req
521. - Asta's my mother.Copy !req
522. - Yeah.
Sheriff Mike's my father.Copy !req
523. You—Copy !req
524. Holy shit.Copy !req
525. You're the baby.Copy !req
526. - I'm not surprised
she didn't tell you.Copy !req
527. She's been keeping it a secret.Copy !req
528. - Yeah.Copy !req
529. Yeah, she has.Copy !req
530. - I don't know what to do.Copy !req
531. She's my mother,Copy !req
532. and I don't even know
how to act in front of her.Copy !req
533. Not to mention my father.Copy !req
534. - Oh.Copy !req
535. Right.Copy !req
536. Jimmy.Copy !req
537. - It's so messed up.Copy !req
538. What am I supposed to say
to someone like that?Copy !req
539. I mean, I'm gonna see him.Copy !req
540. And I can't talk to Asta.
I can't talk to my parents.Copy !req
541. I probably shouldn't even be
talking to you right now,Copy !req
542. but I feel
like I am losing my mindCopy !req
543. and I need someone
in this town to talk to—Copy !req
544. - Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
545. You can totally talk to me.Copy !req
546. - I can't live here
like this, okay?Copy !req
547. I can't do—Copy !req
548. - You are not running away
from this.Copy !req
549. And you are not alone.Copy !req
550. I can help you.Copy !req
551. Hey.Copy !req
552. Can you get free onion rings?Copy !req
553. It's part of the plan.Copy !req
554. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
555. - You killed
Harry Vanderspeigle.Copy !req
556. - No, I didn't.Copy !req
557. - Do not lie to me.Copy !req
558. - Okay, I killed him,
but he started it.Copy !req
559. - Do you have any idea
what you did?Copy !req
560. You cannot just murder someone.
That is not how it works here.Copy !req
561. - Humans kill people
all the time.Copy !req
562. Someone killed
Sam Hodges, so...Copy !req
563. - Yeah, and you saw
what that did to me,Copy !req
564. to all of us,
and you did the same thing.Copy !req
565. No.Copy !req
566. Goodbye. This is done.Copy !req
567. We are done.
- No, don't say that.Copy !req
568. Wait, wait.
- What?Copy !req
569. What?Copy !req
570. - It'll be okay.
It's like the song.Copy !req
571. "Ooh, child, things are going
to get easier."Copy !req
572. "Ooh, child"--
Stop.Copy !req
573. - Don't touch me!
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
574. You just can't leave me.Copy !req
575. - Don't tell me
what I can and cannot do.Copy !req
576. Wow, you are really
getting a hangCopy !req
577. of this human-male bullshit.Copy !req
578. - Don't go.
It hurts!Copy !req
579. It's—Copy !req
580. it's you.Copy !req
581. You're the reason
that I feel it—Copy !req
582. the joy and the fury
all wrapped up.Copy !req
583. - You want fury?Copy !req
584. Go back to your planet, Harry.Copy !req
585. Whoever you are,Copy !req
586. whatever you are,
I never want to see you again.Copy !req
587. - But we are friends.Copy !req
588. - I am not friends
with people—Copy !req
589. I mean... not people.Copy !req
590. I don't know what you are.Copy !req
591. But I know what you're not.
You are not my friend.Copy !req
592. - I thought you were my friend.Copy !req
593. I do not like this.Copy !req
594. I don't like this place
anymore.Copy !req
595. - Hey.
- ♪ Over youCopy !req
596. - Hi.
- ♪ Before youCopy !req
597. - So, I, uh...Copy !req
598. I guess you're my father.Copy !req
599. Yeah.Copy !req
600. - If you ever touch Asta again,
I'll —---- kill you.Copy !req
601. - Feel better?Copy !req
602. - Oh, D'arcy,
what are you—Copy !req
603. D'arcy, don't!
Ugh!Copy !req
604. Son of a bi—Copy !req
605. D'arcy!Copy !req
606. Oh!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
607. - Oh, no!
- ♪ And still your faceCopy !req
608. Look out!
Out of the way!Copy !req
609. - Oh.Copy !req
610. - Yeah.
Yeah, I feel better.Copy !req
611. - Yeah, me too.Copy !req
612. We—we should go now.Copy !req
613. Miss Twelvetrees?Copy !req
614. Hey, it's Max Hawthorne.Copy !req
615. I need your help.Copy !req
616. Harry's here to kill everyone,Copy !req
617. and I think I know
where he's going.Copy !req
618. - Excuse me.Copy !req
619. Are you the town doctor?Copy !req
620. - Yes, I am.Copy !req
621. Oh, that is a nasty cut—Copy !req
622. Town doctor.Copy !req
623. That kid was right.Copy !req
624. He is the prettiest alien
I've ever seen.Copy !req
625. Yeah.
Just be careful, all right?Copy !req
626. We don't know what this
monster's capable of.Copy !req
627. - Yeah.Copy !req
628. - Move, move. Let's go.
- Whoa.Copy !req
629. What—what the hell is this?Copy !req
630. - Come on.Copy !req
631. - I knew you were real.
- Okay.Copy !req
632. I-I got you your alien.Copy !req
633. So now I'm officially done
with her.Copy !req
634. - Aw.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
635. This woman is...Copy !req
636. an unhinged psychotic.Copy !req
637. - I agree completely.Copy !req
638. - Close it up!Copy !req
639. - Wait, are you—are you guys
men in black?Copy !req
640. - Oh, would you stop it.
They're not called that.Copy !req
641. You've watched too many movies.Copy !req
642. And if I wanted them involved,Copy !req
643. I would've told my superiors.Copy !req
644. And then we wouldn't have
an alien, would we?Copy !req
645. - Who's we?Copy !req
646. - This is bigger than anything
you could imagine.Copy !req
647. Too bad you won't be here
to see how it all plays out.Copy !req
648. Get rid of him.Copy !req
649. - I told you.Copy !req
650. I have different orders.
- Okay, um...Copy !req
651. Kill ya later.Copy !req
652. - See, I don't get it.Copy !req
653. I mean, first Sam,
then this roving coupleCopy !req
654. going around terrorizing
people.Copy !req
655. Don't get me wrong,
I like the mayhem.Copy !req
656. - Mm-hmm.
- I like it a lot.Copy !req
657. I might like it a little
too much, if that's possible.Copy !req
658. - It is.Copy !req
659. It's quite frightening,
actually.Copy !req
660. Don't forget the foot
with the matching boot.Copy !req
661. But...Copy !req
662. can it all really be
just a coincidence?Copy !req
663. - I don't believe
in coincidence.Copy !req
664. - Oh, me neither.Copy !req
665. - So both the boot
and the footCopy !req
666. were found in the same areaCopy !req
667. right by
Dr. Vanderspeigle's place.Copy !req
668. - Yeah, you mean the boot,
the foot, and the doorknob.Copy !req
669. That thing definitely didn't
come from no houseboat,Copy !req
670. that's for sure.Copy !req
671. Looks like we might have
a new prime suspect.Copy !req
672. Let's go visit
Dr. VanderspeigleCopy !req
673. tomorrow morning, see
if he's got anything to add.Copy !req
674. - What is that?Copy !req
675. Oh!Copy !req
676. Oh... my ... d.Copy !req
677. Is this a Nespresso?Copy !req
678. - It's nothing, man.Copy !req
679. I just picked that up
for the office.Copy !req
680. It was on sale.
- Yes, yes!Copy !req
681. Oh, my God, oh, my God!Copy !req
682. You got me
a coffee pod machine!Copy !req
683. - Oh, what are you doing?Copy !req
684. I got that
for the whole office.Copy !req
685. What are you doing?
- Nope.Copy !req
686. You got it for me,Copy !req
687. and you agree
with my doorknob instincts.Copy !req
688. - You got decent
doorknob instincts, all right?Copy !req
689. But this whole thing
is for everybody.Copy !req
690. It ain't just for you.
- Nope.Copy !req
691. - What are you doing?
- Nope.Copy !req
692. You got it for me.Copy !req
693. - You in the vehicle!Copy !req
694. Let me see your hands!Copy !req
695. - I have no choice now,Copy !req
696. since my device
will destroy me.Copy !req
697. I will fly away from here
and drop the deviceCopy !req
698. onto this beautiful planet
to finish the job I started.Copy !req
699. - Whoa.Copy !req
700. - Go, go, go!Copy !req
701. - Double up, double up!Copy !req
702. - Harry!Copy !req
703. - There's more!Copy !req
704. - Freeze!Copy !req
705. Hold it right there.Copy !req
706. - Oh, no.Copy !req
707. I forgot the pizzas.Copy !req
708. Maybe I can go back
and get them.Copy !req
709. I could take the shipCopy !req
710. and pick them up
on my way to space.Copy !req
711. I can't because
of this stupid mission.Copy !req
712. I am so hungry.Copy !req
713. They look like black ants.Copy !req
714. Where is your queen?Copy !req
715. - Come on.Copy !req
716. - Get down.Copy !req
717. - Harry!Copy !req
718. - Run, Max!
Hide!Copy !req
719. - Harry...Copy !req
720. I know why you're here.Copy !req
721. Don't do it.
Please don't do it.Copy !req
722. - I must.Copy !req
723. It's why I came here.
- I don't care.Copy !req
724. You're not the same.Copy !req
725. You've changed
since you came here,Copy !req
726. since you killed that man.Copy !req
727. I've seen it.
I just saw it now.Copy !req
728. You could've left,
but you stayed to help us.Copy !req
729. You've changed.
- No.Copy !req
730. My mission is to kill everyone.Copy !req
731. - If you kill everyone,Copy !req
732. you kill me.Copy !req
733. - You are right,
I have changed, but—Copy !req
734. - There's my friend.Copy !req
735. - We are friends?Copy !req
736. - Yes.Copy !req
737. We are friends.Copy !req
738. - So, that means you will come
with me to my planetCopy !req
739. and we will kill everyone
on Earth together?Copy !req
740. - What?
No.Copy !req
741. I-I'm—I'm staying here.Copy !req
742. - Then I won't kill everyone.Copy !req
743. Okay, good.Copy !req
744. - I will miss you, friend.Copy !req
745. - I'll miss you, too, friend.Copy !req
746. - I should dispose
of my device.Copy !req
747. It will kill everyone on EarthCopy !req
748. when it detonates
in 80 seconds.Copy !req
749. - Oh, my God.Copy !req
750. Yes.
Go.Copy !req
751. Go!Copy !req
752. - Real quick...Copy !req
753. I left some pizzasCopy !req
754. in my freezer.Copy !req
755. You can have them
if you want them.Copy !req
756. - Thank you.Copy !req
757. Go!Copy !req
758. - Everyone has to die
eventually.Copy !req
759. What matters are the choices
you make while you're alive.Copy !req
760. Killing may make humans
feel strong in the moment,Copy !req
761. but what I've begun
to realize is,Copy !req
762. true strength comes
from choosing not to kill.Copy !req
763. Maybe being truly humanCopy !req
764. is about choosing to love
instead.Copy !req
765. But with that love
comes the painCopy !req
766. that I feel inside me.Copy !req
767. I need to go home.Copy !req
768. Hopefully the further
I get from them,Copy !req
769. the less I will care.Copy !req
770. Finally, I will be
at peace again.Copy !req
771. Hi.Copy !req
772. You're taking me home, right?Copy !req
773. - This is some bullshit!Copy !req
774. Ugh.Copy !req