Reservation Dogs 2x5

1. - You're fucking it up! - You're doing great. Keep trying.

2. - Look at Sue. - Hey, Sue.

3. - Damn. - Oh... Fuck you, too, Sue.

4. That was for you.

5. Started walking, and all of a sudden, you're God's gift to the rez?

6. Did you see that Facebook group she started?

7. - What? - It's like a walking group.

8. I got an invite. I was like, "Fuck no."

9. Are you kidding me? I'm not gonna go walking with all the Aunties.

10. I'd rather die.

11. - You going to the conference? - I don't think so.

12. I should stick around with everything Bear's going through.

13. There's always something going on with those asses. Emotions, hormones. Shit.

14. He'll be fine.

15. Shit. He's the same age you were when you had him.

16. Why would you say that?

17. Uh, I think you were a really responsible teen mom.

18. - And he'll be a good teen dad. - I don't want him to be a teen dad.

19. Listen to me. White people go to Cancún.

20. We go to IHS conferences, okay? It's our way.

21. If anything happens, don't call 911, okay?

22. It's too expensive. Just call Leon.

23. Mom, I know. Don't worry.

24. I'm just gonna kick my feet up,

25. rest the old bones.

26. It'll be good not being on a roof all day.

27. - Working man. You earned it. - Hmm.

28. You deserve a weekend away, too. Just working all the time.

29. It's a conference. Still work.

30. The problem is the understanding of sovereignty.

31. It's become a catch-all term that's lost a lot of its meaning.

32. The future of Indian health is sustainable programming,

33. away from the shackles of the US government-provided care.

34. Think of it like, say... I don't know. A relationship.

35. The energy you provide is only as healthy

36. as the energy you give yourself.

37. Then again, what do I know about healthy relationships?

38. I'm just an Indian man, right?

39. Joking aside, sustainable tribal health takes investment in ourselves.

40. - Scholarships... - Hi.

41. support, and eventually, facilities and equipment.

42. It might take a long time, but we are absolutely worth it.

43. Hey, girl.

44. These goals of self-sufficient health services

45. probably aren't achievable in my lifetime.

46. But I believe in the future

47. - of our people.

48. And it is for the future that I do my work. Small steps.

49. But every step taken is part of the journey to true sovereignty.

50. As you attend your workshops this weekend,

51. bear in mind the power that you carry as Native people.

52. Let's wield that power together.

53. - I'll wield my power on you. - No ring, no hickies.

54. - Mm... - I call shotgun.

55. Power to the matriarchs. Women are sacred.

56. Probably got a white wife.

57. Don't count.

58. - What about you, Dr. Kang? You snag? - What's snag?

59. Noncommittal sex with someone you're definitely gonna see again.

60. See these? These are my kills.

61. You get one anytime you snag with somebody from the host tribe.

62. - Impressive achievements, Beverly. - There's one out there for you.

63. - Me? - Yeah. Maybe Crow.

64. Maybe Delaware, Chickasaw, Ho-Chunk.

65. - Ho-Chunk. - Watch out for bad medicine, though.

66. Yeah, wear socks. Medicine comes up through your feet.

67. - Mm. - Socks, wear them.

68. Welcome, ladies.

69. - Here, we have a crystal dildo. - Wow.

70. - Heals from within. - Mm.

71. Cleanses away spiritually-transmitted diseases.

72. - Yeah, sister. - That's for you.

73. Damn.

74. You guys got kids? Yeah, I got one.

75. - Three. - Not yet.

76. - A niece. - Ah...

77. Okay. So, you two, this is for you.

78. A workout of your pelvic floor. This stuff will tighten you up.

79. Just perfect. And for other sisters...

80. Oh, God, this is good. This is on the house.

81. - Oh! Thank you. - Thanks.

82. I love her.

83. - What's up, ladies? - Hey.

84. Eyes down, ladies.

85. Seminoles can impregnate you with a single stare.

86. Oh, God.

87. That's how we used to look way back in the day. Look at that.

88. Oh! You gotta engage like that.

89. But we'd do it, hush was out.

90. - Oh... Natalie, there's your ex. - ... improve your video game focus.

91. Exes. I snagged Jumbo, too.

92. Natalie. And Beverly.

93. You got my lanyard in there?

94. I need edibles.

95. Oh. I got a customer. Hold on.

96. Rita, check out your snag.

97. - Sam. - What are you doing?

98. There's a free seat here. Setting you up for success.

99. You've got to lock that down before someone else does.

100. - Thanks. May I? - Yeah, it's all yours.

101. You're welcome.

102. What you reading?

103. Man Moon by Beau Harrison.

104. It's about recognizing our sacred feminine.

105. Hmm... I love fiction.

106. - So where you from? - From Ch'ini'li.

107. It's in Arizona, in the middle of the Navajo Nation.

108. - I worked there. What's your dad's name? - Alfred.

109. Oh...

110. You were just a little guy when I saw him.

111. What's it like there in Arizona?

112. It's beautiful.

113. They have a canyon. Canyon de Chelly. You should go visit sometime.

114. Yeah, I'd like that. Sounds hot.

115. - You have any kids? - Not that I know of.

116. - I'm a mom. - How old?

117. - He's a teenager. - High school?

118. - Yeah. - That's when they go for the jugular.

119. I knew I wanted to help my people. I didn't know how.

120. I wanted to see more people like us in the hospital.

121. I went back to school to get my medical degree.

122. It was a hard time being away for so long.

123. But it's nice to be back in the community now,

124. even if it's not my own.

125. That's really cool. I always wanted to go away to school.

126. I told everyone I was gonna go to New York

127. and smoke cigarettes on a fire escape.

128. - Something I saw in a movie once. - So did you?

129. No. No, I didn't do any of that.

130. Maybe when my son is grown up and out of the house.

131. There's just so many things I want to do.

132. I'll have to take you to my favorite pizza spot out there sometime.

133. Yeah, I'd like that.

134. - My floor. See you at the bar later? - Yeah, for sure.

135. - So pretty. - Smells good.

136. It does smell good.

137. Smells like my grandma's underwear drawer.

138. Okay, Rita.

139. Biska needs some attention.

140. Wait. You have to move back.

141. - So your vag can go close to the steam.

142. - Hold on a sec. - Don't burn it.

143. - Oh, there it is. - Try to, like, inhale, from your...

144. - Oh. Yeah? Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

145. Oh, yeah.

146. How come we've never steamed our biskas before?

147. - We probably used to. - Yeah, old ways.

148. - All right. Now focus. - Mm-hmm.

149. - And ask for what you want. - Like, out loud?

150. - It doesn't say.

151. Wish for a giant hush.

152. - Yeah, not too giant. - Medium.

153. Medium, okay.

154. - Fits just right. - Long, long orgasm.

155. - Yeah. Okay. - An hour long.

156. - Multiple. - Okay.

157. - Handcuffs. - Yeah.

158. - Just a little rough. - Yeah.

159. He's, like, fast. Like a rabbit.

160. - I don't like that. - New baby daddy.

161. - Doctor dad? - Yeah. Yeah.

162. Okay.

163. - Fuck.

164. - What? - Fuck. I feel powerful.

165. It works.

166. - Oh, shit. Bear called. - I'm next.

167. - What's up, Mom? - Hey, Bear.

168. - How you doing? - Yeah, I'm doing good.

169. - How's the conference? - Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Um...

170. All right, now, focus.

171. Did you get a pizza with that money I left you?

172. - Yeah, it just got here. - Okay, good.

173. And there's also frozen waffles in the freezer if you need them.

174. Let me know if you need anything else.

175. I'll be good. Probably just gonna get some sleep.

176. Yeah, me, too. It was a long day. Yeah, I'm tired.

177. - All right. Well, I love you, Bear. - Love you, too, Mom.

178. Bye.

179. - We good. - Domino, motherfucker.

180. Cheers.

181. It's vibing in here. Hello!

182. Cast a wide net, hoes. Let's catch some motherfucking fish.

183. We closed it down last year.

184. And when the dance is over, sweetheart

185. We'll sing and drink all night

186. Then we'll dance a 49

187. Okay.

188. No hot dudes, but I see a shit ton of hot ladies.

189. One for you.

190. - What is this? - Edible.

191. I can't do this. This is gonna fuck me up.

192. - It's only 10 milligrams. - Live a little, Rita.

193. Come on.

194. - Oh, shit. - What?

195. These are 25 milligrams.

196. You are a shit.

197. - Hmm...

198. Your Indian name is Cipo.

199. Wow.

200. I love the way that sounds.

201. - Hmm. - What's it mean?

202. Cousin.

203. Oh.

204. It's beautiful. It rolls off the tongue.

205. - Can I get you all another round? - Hey. My name is Cipo.

206. - It means cousin. - Hey, cousin. I like your braid.

207. Hey, are you Crow?

208. - No. - Chickasaw?

209. - No. - Delaware?

210. No, I'm Tonkawa.

211. Tonkawa. I like the... I'm wearing socks.

212. - It's gonna make me burp... - Burp.

213. - It's gonna make me fart... - Fart.

214. It's gonna make me burp, burp. It's gonna make me fart...

215. - I think it's kicking in. - What did you say?

216. Yeah. It's kicking in.

217. Yes, bitch.

218. Oh, yeah, I feel like...

219. Mm...

220. Yeah, I feel like... I don't know what I feel like.

221. Oh, they're playing Brandy!

222. Let's dance. That will fix it.

223. Yes.

224. Remember we stole your mom's car and crashed it into the creek?

225. - Oh, my God. - Like, fucked it right up.

226. - We flooded the engine. - Oh, my God.

227. We were trying to go to that party down in bumfuck, somewhere.

228. Your homecoming crown, it was stuck in the mud.

229. - All broken and shit, and all fucked up. - I went back to get it, though.

230. That was the first night I ever snagged. Beginning of my hoe days.

231. I miss being a shitass.

232. Mm. Me, too. I don't wanna do dishes anymore.

233. - Word. - No.

234. Y'all ever feel like we just went from being kids to women overnight?

235. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

236. And no one even asked us.

237. Just expected to be all sacred and tradish all the time.

238. Ugh. It's a lot, right? Cleaning, cooking, momming.

239. Sewing, beading, weaving.

240. Learning knowledge, keeping knowledge, teaching knowledge.

241. - Making humans. - Picking people up from the drunk tank.

242. That's why we need nights like this.

243. We can cut loose and let all that shit go sometimes.

244. - Easy for you to say. - What's that's supposed to mean?

245. - You don't have any kids. - Neither does Bev.

246. I got a niece.

247. Shit's hard. I'm not her mom, but I gotta be one to her.

248. She puts up with me, but she's gonna burn

249. - all her hair off with all that bleach.

250. - Little shitass runaway. Fuck. - Yeah, see?

251. You get to pick and choose what to be a part of. We don't get to.

252. And you think that's easier?

253. I'm just saying that you don't have to deal with the same things that we do.

254. You're lucky.

255. You don't know what I have to deal with, Rita. None of you do.

256. - Yeah, because you left. - What was I supposed to do?

257. Waste my life working the gas station pumping out babies?

258. That's what you might tell yourself,

259. but the truth is that you bailed on us after Cookie died.

260. Rita, I went to school. I worked.

261. I joined the fucking mili... You know what? Fuck this.

262. I'm still snagging. Shit.

263. Come on. Let's go dance.

264. Hey, Rita. There's your man.

265. Do I look super fucked up?

266. No, no. Just fix your lips and push your titties up.

267. Thank you. Sorry, but I'm waiting for someone.

268. Yeah, okay.

269. Hmm.

270. Oh. Fuck's sakes.

271. Rita?

272. Do you have a tampon, Teenie?

273. Luckily, Indian men don't care about your moon time.

274. Don't matter. I think a niece swooped him.

275. Brutal.

276. Used to it, though.

277. In the city, men don't even look at you if you're over 25.

278. I don't get it. Everyone talks about honoring women.

279. "You're beautiful matriarchs."

280. Except no one's doing shit for us. Not even giving us orgasms.

281. I just wanna feel sexy again.

282. Yeah.

283. I know I don't know what you go through, but it looks pretty nice from here.

284. I'd kill to have kids and work at IHS.

285. It's lonely being so far away.

286. Sometimes I wish I could get into, like, a mild accident.

287. So I can go to the hospital for five days to a week.

288. And have some free food and have people take care of me.

289. Get a comfy bed and those wool socks that they give you.

290. And that huge jug of water that's always iced. Like, crushed ice.

291. Just so I could be alone.

292. So you mean, like, a vacation?

293. Yeah, that's what I'd have to do to get one.

294. I wish things were simpler. I miss when we could all just

295. sit in bed all day, the three of us, and watch TV.

296. - Here you go. - Thanks.

297. Wait. Is that the same guy from the beginning?

298. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. I remember this one.

299. The husband killed the wife because he got his mistress pregnant.

300. Why'd he have to kill the whole family?

301. Just get a divorce.

302. Hmm.

303. Teenie, will you hold my hair?

304. - Yeah, it's gonna happen. - Oh, shit.

305. - Yeah. - Oh...

306. You okay?

307. I finally snagged.