1. 'Sup, shit ass?Copy !req
2. Hope you're doing good.Copy !req
3. Just floating around in space.Copy !req
4. Yup, things are real messed up
around here.Copy !req
5. There was a tornado in town.Copy !req
6. Uncle Brownie stopped it, though.Copy !req
7. He's been right acting up ever since.Copy !req
8. Can you see me?Copy !req
9. Bark if you can.Copy !req
10. My Dad's OCD is on X Games mode.Copy !req
11. Losing his socks,
his favorite mug, his keys.Copy !req
12. He thinks the Little People
are fucking with him.Copy !req
13. Damn...Copy !req
14. Okay, that I'm actually
not surprised about.Copy !req
15. I'm not gonna bullshit...Copy !req
16. Bear still talks to that spirit
with the hard nips.Copy !req
17. and just picking on me and shit.Copy !req
18. Cheese has been spending
a lot of time with his Uncle Charlie,Copy !req
19. which I guess is good.Copy !req
20. The tornado winds
picked up someone's horseCopy !req
21. and dropped it off at Kenny Boy's.Copy !req
22. Welcome to Burgled Cut's Salvage.Copy !req
23. He's so beautiful.Copy !req
24. And now he thinks
frickin' Creator gifted it to him.Copy !req
25. You're ours now.Copy !req
26. And we're yours.Copy !req
27. Big is still going on
about his Bigfoot and catfish heads.Copy !req
28. Bucky's been having problems with
that... ,Copy !req
29. per "uzhe".Copy !req
30. Mose and Mekko got their bikes hustled.Copy !req
31. I better not find out who took it.Copy !req
32. Send him to the spirit world.Copy !req
33. So they're on foot now.Copy !req
34. Let's ride.Copy !req
35. We can't even ride!Copy !req
36. And Elora left with that bitch, Jackie.Copy !req
37. She's like our sworn enemy now.Copy !req
38. Fuck.Copy !req
39. Bad part is, I think it's all my fault.Copy !req
40. My GPS is fucked up.Copy !req
41. Can you put it in your phone?Copy !req
42. I've got a burner, no GPS.Copy !req
43. Fuck.Copy !req
44. Aho!Copy !req
45. Thank you for your donation.
Excuse me for my beauty now,Copy !req
46. for I shall give you some ancient
Native American wisdom here.Copy !req
47. He who hoots with the owls at nightCopy !req
48. cannot soar with the eagles
in the morning.Copy !req
49. Do not watch two dogs
get stuck together,Copy !req
50. for if you do, you shall get pink eye.Copy !req
51. These are ancient sayings
from the heartbeat of Mother Earth.Copy !req
52. Deposit more money now for more wisdom.Copy !req
53. The fuck?Copy !req
54. Bullshit machine.Copy !req
55. Hey, you can't
use that until you buy it.Copy !req
56. I'm buying it.Copy !req
57. Ah-ho!Copy !req
58. Your friend Daniel's house.Copy !req
59. Yeah. I'll take care of him.Copy !req
60. Rent, I mean, if you...Copy !req
61. What the hell are you doing here, man?Copy !req
62. Hi there, young warrior.
Good to see you.Copy !req
63. Yeah, I was on my way to
another appointment. A new client.Copy !req
64. I saw you here
looking all, all sad, like...Copy !req
65. So I decided to stop by.Copy !req
66. Why are you here?
I thought you went to California.Copy !req
67. I...Copy !req
68. We were.Copy !req
69. Fucking Elora Danan ditched me, man.Copy !req
70. I'm actually glad to see you.
I haven't really been feeling the best.Copy !req
71. Yeah, bro, I'm sorry I can't hear
your sad story right now.Copy !req
72. I gotta go. I got this other client.Copy !req
73. Fucker thinks he's a spirit. You know?Copy !req
74. He did turn a storm but fuck, whatever.
Everyone can do that.Copy !req
75. So, I'll check you later.Copy !req
76. Wait, you serious? No, come on, man.Copy !req
77. You will literally invade my life
whenever it's convenient for you, man.Copy !req
78. And as soon as I'm seeking help,
you just bail?Copy !req
79. Okay. Um...Copy !req
80. You got your sacred curlies in, right?Copy !req
81. - My what?
- Your sacred hairs!Copy !req
82. Your man mesh. Your nest of creation?Copy !req
83. Your he-muff, she-muff, they-muff
down there?Copy !req
84. See, long time ago,
when our sacred hairs came in like that,Copy !req
85. it meant that
we weren't children no more,Copy !req
86. and that we started
working for the people.Copy !req
87. You... You're acting like a kid, man.Copy !req
88. We all had a job, we all had a role.Copy !req
89. That's how we built strong nations.Copy !req
90. Like, each a stitch
in the great loin cloth of the people.Copy !req
91. I don't even know what that means, man.Copy !req
92. Fuck, I don't even know what it means.Copy !req
93. I'm just making it up
as we go along.Copy !req
94. Why you asking me these questions?
You weren't even my appointment today.Copy !req
95. Fuck. Take responsibility for yourself,
young warrior.Copy !req
96. Carry on, my wayward son.Copy !req
97. There will be peace when you're done.Copy !req
98. Ah-ho.Copy !req
99. I'm trying, man.Copy !req
100. Oi!Copy !req
101. Let's go, then.Copy !req
102. Yeah. You see how Daniel's dad moved?Copy !req
103. Yeah. I heard.Copy !req
104. I think, bro, that it's all connected.Copy !req
105. Man, you sound like
you've been chilling with Big.Copy !req
106. She sounds like Big.Copy !req
107. Fuck no, I don't sound like Big.Copy !req
108. Uncle Brownie told us,
"Don't mess with bad medicine."Copy !req
109. What do we do?
Fucking mess with bad medicine.Copy !req
110. Well, that was all you.
Fucking cursed now.Copy !req
111. Seems like it's just
a bunch of coincidences.Copy !req
112. Yeah.Copy !req
113. I don't know.
Elora taking off and ditching you.Copy !req
114. Yeah, but I mean,
maybe it's my fault she left, man.Copy !req
115. Guys?Copy !req
116. Maybe it's because
she's fucking selfish,Copy !req
117. doesn't give a shit about me.
Not because of a fucking curse.Copy !req
118. - Guys?
- Yes, it is! It's all connected!Copy !req
119. - No, it's not, bro.
- Guys!Copy !req
120. What the fuck?Copy !req
121. Hey, bro.Copy !req
122. What the hell's going on?Copy !req
123. Tearing it down.Copy !req
124. Yeah, someone bought it last week.Copy !req
125. What, you all live here or something?Copy !req
126. No, it's like our secret hide-out.Copy !req
127. Ain't no secret anymore, man.Copy !req
128. Some Texas rancher bought it.Copy !req
129. To build some sort of...Copy !req
130. You know, mega church.Copy !req
131. - For White folks.
- And there's no curse.Copy !req
132. Is this your shit?Copy !req
133. Oh!Copy !req
134. Hell, no. Daniel. Shit, you guysCopy !req
135. - Fuck.
- See, I told you, man. Fucking cursed!Copy !req
136. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
137. Kinda looked like some
evil séance or some shit.Copy !req
138. - What are y'all doing with it?
- It's a memorial.Copy !req
139. What's with the commodity cheese?Copy !req
140. - Why're you asking so much questions?
- Told you. Fucking cursed.Copy !req
141. How the fuck do people
read these things?Copy !req
142. - The fuck. Hey, what's that light mean?Copy !req
143. What the fuck?Copy !req
144. Shit.Copy !req
145. Fuck.Copy !req
146. Fuck.Copy !req
147. Man, your grandma's got a rezzy-ass car.Copy !req
148. What the fuck do we do now?Copy !req
149. Fuck.Copy !req
150. Fuck.Copy !req
151. Take a moment here
to pray. I want to pray for you.Copy !req
152. Ah-ho!Copy !req
153. Creator, thank you for these sacred
tater tots that my nephew, grandson,Copy !req
154. Grandpa here, has given me.Copy !req
155. Take care of his little heart like that
and his cholesterol in that good way.Copy !req
156. Ah-ho!Copy !req
157. So does this mean I'm a holy man now?Copy !req
158. Huh?Copy !req
159. No, no, you're not a holy man.Copy !req
160. I think I must be.Copy !req
161. You're not.Copy !req
162. What was Crazy Horse like?Copy !req
163. Crazy Horse? Oh, man.Copy !req
164. He was something. He was pretty awesome.Copy !req
165. His eyes were like the Thunder BeingsCopy !req
166. looking at you, you know.
Most people thinkCopy !req
167. a warrior means to be
all macho like that.Copy !req
168. But no. Being a warrior means
being in touch with your feminine side.Copy !req
169. And Crazy Horse, he did that.Copy !req
170. He was a true warrior,
in touch with his man moon.Copy !req
171. Most people don't remember
that we once had a man moon.Copy !req
172. Yeah. Bleed once a month.
Happened every... Sacred time for us.Copy !req
173. Crazy Horse was the last one of us
to have a man moon.Copy !req
174. - Hmm.
- And then the white man took it from us.Copy !req
175. He had a gimpy leg too.Copy !req
176. About a foot shorter, he hobbled around.
That's why he rode the horse.Copy !req
177. I don't think you knew him.Copy !req
178. No, I didn't really know him.Copy !req
179. I mean, how do you really know somebody?Copy !req
180. - But he was pretty girthy.Copy !req
181. Three hundred pounds. Very stoic.Copy !req
182. I wish I knew him more.Copy !req
183. Holy men can't be having
colonizer boobs on their wall.Copy !req
184. I told you.Copy !req
185. You're not a holy man,
grandson, nephew, brother.Copy !req
186. And you're not a regular spirit.Copy !req
187. You're one of those backwards spirits.Copy !req
188. Telling me Crazy Horse had a gimpy leg.Copy !req
189. - He did.Copy !req
190. - I'm a holy man now.
- For fuck's sakes.Copy !req
191. I'll have sacred duties.Copy !req
192. Who's he talking to?Copy !req
193. I think it's safe to say
he's delusional.Copy !req
194. Got to set a good example. Help others.Copy !req
195. Uncle!Copy !req
196. What? The director's cut
of Big Trouble in Little...Copy !req
197. I've never seen this one.Copy !req
198. What the hell are you kids doing here?Copy !req
199. We need help.Copy !req
200. No. You caught me right in the middle
of making myself a better man.Copy !req
201. - What's that mean?
- Means get the fuck out.Copy !req
202. Okay? What the fuck you doing with that?Copy !req
203. It was in the trash.Copy !req
204. My mistake. Leave me alone.Copy !req
205. Fuck it, let's just go in.Copy !req
206. Shit's been fucked up, Uncle.Copy !req
207. Curse I did fucking flipped on me.Copy !req
208. Didn't it, bro?Copy !req
209. We just need your help.Copy !req
210. - You used bad medicine, didn't you?
- White medicine.Copy !req
211. I know you told me not to,
but bitch had to go.Copy !req
212. Well, you have to go back to whoever
put on the curse and start there.Copy !req
213. I told you, I don't mess
with bad luck medicine.Copy !req
214. You should really alphabeticize these.Copy !req
215. What?Copy !req
216. Just helps them easier to find.
It's why you lost Big Trouble.Copy !req
217. Well, I'll pay you some Sonics
if you do it for me.Copy !req
218. I can't read the small letters.Copy !req
219. Worth it.Copy !req
220. But you gotta let me watch this, though.Copy !req
221. You got it.Copy !req
222. Think he's gonna stop?Copy !req
223. He's probably racist.Copy !req
224. Looks creepy.Copy !req
225. Nah, he's just white.Copy !req
226. Hey, where you headed?Copy !req
227. We're going to LA.Copy !req
228. LA, huh? Wow!Copy !req
229. I could get you as far as Amarillo.Copy !req
230. I'm going to that
big white cross with Jesus.Copy !req
231. I'll ride up front.Copy !req
232. I'm sorry it's messy.
I haven't had a chance to clean.Copy !req
233. - You guys don't mind messy.
- It's fine.Copy !req
234. Do you want some Flamers?Copy !req
235. - I'm good.
- You want some?Copy !req
236. They're my favorite.Copy !req
237. I'm fine.Copy !req
238. You guys are young,
you don't like Flamers?Copy !req
239. I'm Victor.Copy !req
240. I'm Janet.Copy !req
241. I'm Jackson.Copy !req
242. Really? Janet and Jackson?Copy !req
243. All right.
Well, straight up now, tell me,Copy !req
244. do you want to hear some jamsCopy !req
245. pumped into the car here
and hit the road?Copy !req
246. This is a good song.
It's by a singer named Pat Green.Copy !req
247. It's not a classic country song.Copy !req
248. I like my country more modern.Copy !req
249. Not the stuff that's stuck
in the honky tonks.Copy !req
250. I need it on the main stage to really
understand it. This boy is from Dallas.Copy !req
251. Can't argue with a Texan.
Listen to that voice.Copy !req
252. Good voice, a great body.Copy !req
253. That's an entertainer.Copy !req
254. The full package.Copy !req
255. I was looking for somebodyCopy !req
256. All I'm living for is youCopy !req
257. Came upon me wave on waveCopy !req
258. I one time heard an old man
singing this song at karaoke,Copy !req
259. and I just fell in love with it.
That's how I remember it.Copy !req
260. Sadly, this reminds me
of myself a little bit.Copy !req
261. "I wandered out to the water,
to see if I'd drown.Copy !req
262. "I just know I'm going down."
That part. That part reminds me of me.Copy !req
263. I think it's like he wrote it for me.Copy !req
264. I'm a salesman, I travel all over.Copy !req
265. I sell art.Copy !req
266. Framed and matted art by painters
like Monet and van Gogh.Copy !req
267. Those are famous painters.
Prints, of course. Not the real thing.Copy !req
268. Those are hard to come by.Copy !req
269. Kind of like a good friend.Copy !req
270. I have a son.Copy !req
271. I don't know him very well.Copy !req
272. Another man raises him.Copy !req
273. I'm still thinking about
when he was in diapers and...Copy !req
274. Now he's in roller skates, jean shorts.Copy !req
275. You know, all the things
teenage boys do and wear.Copy !req
276. So you know how teenage boys are.Copy !req
277. Right? You're two teenage girls.Copy !req
278. Surely, you must have met
some boys along the way.Copy !req
279. Uh, why did you turn?Copy !req
280. - Hey, I asked you a question.
- Hmm?Copy !req
281. Why did you turn?Copy !req
282. There's just a gas station
a little further up the road.Copy !req
283. Looks like your tank's half full.Copy !req
284. You never know.
Once we hit the panhandle,Copy !req
285. could be a while
before we hit another gas station.Copy !req
286. You don't wanna get stuck with me,
do you?Copy !req
287. Where the fuck are you taking us?Copy !req
288. - Yeah, we're in the middle of nowhere.
- Just calm down.Copy !req
289. - Hey, we asked you a question.
- Relax. No.Copy !req
290. - Lock.
- What the fuck?Copy !req
291. Hey, no swearing.Copy !req
292. - I'll kick you in the fucking face...
- Calm down.Copy !req
293. - ... if you don't pull over.
- Don't get razzed.Copy !req
294. - Pull over!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
295. What the fuck are you doing? Stab him!
Stab his ass!Copy !req
296. Oh, my God!Copy !req
297. - You bitches!Copy !req
298. - Fucking bitches. You stupid...
- I fucking warned you!Copy !req
299. Get the fuck out, you backstabbers!Copy !req
300. I tried to help you!
I tried to help you!Copy !req
301. Fuck.Copy !req
302. Our bags.Copy !req
303. Our fucking money. Fuck!Copy !req
304. Fuck.Copy !req
305. Got a couple bucks.Copy !req
306. Well, if one of you were handy,
you could take a look at my beer cooler.Copy !req
307. I'm no maintenance man.Copy !req
308. Shit. Turn it down.Copy !req
309. These shitasses. Where's your uncle?Copy !req
310. He's a holy man now.Copy !req
311. Yeah, right.
And I'm a sex worker in Paris.Copy !req
312. Tequila with a little lime, right?Copy !req
313. Yes, you remembered.Copy !req
314. And you're still too young, asshole.Copy !req
315. Came to talk to you.Copy !req
316. I need you to undo what you did.Copy !req
317. What I did? You mean what you did.Copy !req
318. Come on, man.
Whatever fucking Hogwarts shitCopy !req
319. you got up your sleeve's
been causing it for all of us.Copy !req
320. The curse came back on usCopy !req
321. and is freakin' biting all of us
in the ass right now.Copy !req
322. Well, I can't help that.
That's not my problem.Copy !req
323. Quit being cheap,
my bro's fucking sad pantiesCopy !req
324. and my hair is falling out like...Copy !req
325. Where's your Gandalf stick or your wand?Copy !req
326. We need to UNO reverse-card this shit.Copy !req
327. I'm just the intercessor, the conjurer.Copy !req
328. - The shaman.
- Yeah.Copy !req
329. Do either of y'all have jobs?Copy !req
330. No.Copy !req
331. Job would straighten you out.Copy !req
332. You wouldn't be going on and on
talking about curses and shit.Copy !req
333. What's your job?Copy !req
334. - You're looking at it.
- Drinking?Copy !req
335. No. Disability, shitass.Copy !req
336. You need a job. A real job. You hear me?Copy !req
337. All right.Copy !req
338. Give me back that hair then.Copy !req
339. I wish I could,
but I don't got it no more.Copy !req
340. I don't just keep vials of hair
laying around my house.Copy !req
341. Let's go, bro. This wizard's cooked.Copy !req
342. Told you.Copy !req
343. You're gonna need
a more powerful wizard than me.Copy !req
344. Like a level five.Copy !req
345. But I heard most of them are dead.Copy !req
346. And a J-O-B wouldn't hurt.Copy !req
347. - This is a waste of time.
- Kinda sound like my dad.Copy !req
348. Yeah, and that's where I met Bethany.Copy !req
349. She was at the wild onion dinner.
She was the only white woman there.Copy !req
350. Well, that white woman is stupid if
she don't take this handsome man back.Copy !req
351. Dang.Copy !req
352. You think she'll like it?Copy !req
353. Hell, yes.Copy !req
354. - Hey, young blood.
- 'Sup?Copy !req
355. - Hey.
- Hey...Copy !req
356. I know you. Who's your dad?Copy !req
357. You know his dad. You used to
snag around with him. Little braids.Copy !req
358. Ennit. Little Braids. Dang, boy.
I was almost your mama.Copy !req
359. Where's he at these days? Jail?Copy !req
360. He's in California.Copy !req
361. Aw!Copy !req
362. Just all dadless, ennit?
It's okay.Copy !req
363. Your mom will find another one.Copy !req
364. What you kids want? Need a trim, niece?Copy !req
365. We need more of Jackie's hair.
You know, for the curse we did.Copy !req
366. What hair? I don't be giving out hair.
You crazy?Copy !req
367. - You gave us hair last time.
- Hair for a curse.Copy !req
368. I don't be giving out hair.Copy !req
369. Are you trying to scare
all my customers?Copy !req
370. But you did... You gave us some hair.Copy !req
371. I believe I will just sweep up
my own hair.Copy !req
372. Yeah. You know, if you two are putting
a curse on someone, take it from me.Copy !req
373. That bad medicine
will come back on you hard.Copy !req
374. Fuck, I know. Trying to undo it.
That's why we're here.Copy !req
375. But I told you, I don't be
giving out hair for curses.Copy !req
376. Go on, acting like I'm a witch.Copy !req
377. You good, bro?Copy !req
378. Hey. Here, put these in your pocket.Copy !req
379. Why?Copy !req
380. We're gonna break that curse.Copy !req
381. Let's go, then.Copy !req
382. You need something from the person
that you cursed, something personal.Copy !req
383. It doesn't have to be hair.
It can be anything.Copy !req
384. Her Auntie Bev's.
She might have something.Copy !req
385. Let's go there, fuck.Copy !req
386. Okay, then.
So, where's this Auntie Bev's?Copy !req
387. Fuck, I don't even know.Copy !req
388. She works at IHS.Copy !req
389. Yeah, fuck.Copy !req
390. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
391. He's got daddy issues.Copy !req
392. I ain't got daddy issues.Copy !req
393. Hey, we all got daddy issues.Copy !req
394. You stabbed that fool in the arm.Copy !req
395. Yeah, I guess I did.Copy !req
396. Fucking stabbed him up.Copy !req
397. You don't think he's gonna like,
die or anything, do you?Copy !req
398. It was just his arm.
I might have broke that fucker's jaw.Copy !req
399. But I warned him though.Copy !req
400. This catfish is shit.Copy !req
401. Yeah, it's got nothing
on Rob and Cleo's.Copy !req
402. Your friend Daniel...Copy !req
403. It wasn't that long ago, was it?Copy !req
404. About a year ago.Copy !req
405. He was cool.Copy !req
406. Coolest.Copy !req
407. My brother died.Copy !req
408. He was cool, too.Copy !req
409. Bethany kicked me out again.Copy !req
410. Try this.Copy !req
411. Huh. Man Moon.Copy !req
412. "Am I the problem?"Copy !req
413. Mabel Post Oak? Mabel Post Oak?Copy !req
414. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
415. Hold on. My bro Cheese is texting me.Copy !req
416. You took her hair...Copy !req
417. You got a White Wizard
to put a curse on her.Copy !req
418. You didn't think it would work,
but it did.Copy !req
419. And now you need a hair clip
or something to break the curse.Copy !req
420. Yep.Copy !req
421. Yeah.Copy !req
422. What's your address? You know what?
Don't even tell me. I know your mom.Copy !req
423. Your dad works here.
I'm going to refer you to...Copy !req
424. drug court.Copy !req
425. I hate this place.Copy !req
426. Bye.Copy !req
427. What happened?Copy !req
428. She's ain't gonna help us.Copy !req
429. Man, Willie Jack. There's no curse, bro.
It's just kids' shit.Copy !req
430. Can we go eat some catfish?Copy !req
431. I'd help you if you did a curse.Copy !req
432. I'm sure there were six extra frames
when he exploded.Copy !req
433. Your friends coming to pick you up?Copy !req
434. I don't got no extra seat
on the lawnmower.Copy !req
435. They're almost done. Bucky's with them.Copy !req
436. - Bucky?
- Yeah.Copy !req
437. He's knowledgeable about this stuff.
He's really smart.Copy !req
438. Might even be a wizard himself.Copy !req
439. Where are you going?Copy !req
440. Turn it off! Let's go.Copy !req
441. Bucky doesn't know what he's doing.
He'll make it worse.Copy !req
442. Thought you said
you didn't have an extra seat.Copy !req
443. Can we pull over?Copy !req
444. For real. Can we pull over, please?Copy !req
445. Why? Gotta take a shit?Copy !req
446. Damn! What you doing now?Copy !req
447. Oh, my God.Copy !req
448. Willie Jack, I support you.Copy !req
449. I just gotta go, man. I'm sorry.Copy !req
450. - Fuck.
- He gonna be okay?Copy !req
451. Just all alone now. Fuck.Copy !req
452. String theory explains this.Copy !req
453. You know, every element of our bodiesCopy !req
454. was made inside an exploding star.Copy !req
455. We just borrow stardust until we die,Copy !req
456. and then we return it
for something else to use.Copy !req
457. We're like vibrating strings, you know.Copy !req
458. Notes of the cosmos.Copy !req
459. And each and every one of themCopy !req
460. have their own part of the song.Copy !req
461. Take away one part
and that song changes,Copy !req
462. but the song never dies.Copy !req
463. Got any Shotgun Willy then?Copy !req
464. Sure, on the left.Copy !req
465. No bars.Copy !req
466. The fuck are we gonna do?Copy !req
467. We could steal a car.Copy !req
468. Steal a car?Copy !req
469. It's easy.Copy !req
470. Most folks leave their keys
in their cars anyways.Copy !req
471. Especially these bumpkins.Copy !req
472. Let's go.Copy !req
473. Hey, let's start with this one.Copy !req
474. Are you sure?Copy !req
475. Didn't you steal a chip truck before?Copy !req
476. Yeah, but this is kind of
fucking different.Copy !req
477. It's the same. Come on.Copy !req
478. - Gotta be here.
- Fuck, hurry up.Copy !req
479. Got it, come on.Copy !req
480. Hey, get the fuck outta here!Copy !req
481. Someone's breaking into the car.Copy !req
482. Shit! Bail.Copy !req
483. Guys, someone's breaking into the car.Copy !req
484. - Go, go, go!
- Fuck!Copy !req
485. Fuck! Fuck!Copy !req
486. Run!Copy !req