Reservation Dogs 1x5

1. Hey.

2. Where you headed?

3. Hey. I'm going to Carnegie.

4. Carnegie? Western Oklahoma, right?

5. - Yeah, I know, it's pretty far. - Mm.

6. (inhales) Out in Apache country?

7. Kiowa.

8. I got some family down there.

9. Hey, look, I understand if it's too far.

10. Hell, if you want to go to Carnegie,

11. I'll take you there. Jump in.

12. Well, all right.

13. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. I got nothing else going on.

14. Get in this chick magnet ride, baby.

15. - Be a gentleman, will you? - Yes, ma'am.

16. Next stop, Carnegie, Oklahoma.

17. Big!

18. Come clean your room!

19. Aho.

20. Great.

21. (clears throat) Let's go.

22. Get in.

23. Hey. Get in the back.

24. I'm not a criminal.

25. - (door opens) - I'm sittin' in the front.

26. Shitass.

27. I thought Chubs was doing the ride-along.

28. Chubs called in sick.

29. You're stuck with me, cvpon.

30. Great.

31. - Hey. - What?

32. Broke. Look at this.

33. Of course it is.

34. Yeah, well, I got a new cruiser on the way.

35. Brand-new radio in it.

36. Call it Redbone 2.

37. This one's Redbone 1.

38. Pretty slick when I first got it.

39. Redbone?

40. The band. It's a band's name.

41. I don't know them.

42. Well, it was before your time. (clears throat)

43. All-Indian band. It's the only tape I play.

44. - You don't know that? - I don't-I don't know it.

45. Oh, Jesus Christ. You should know it, boy.

46. Part of your culture.

47. An old snagging song.

48. (clears throat) You ever snagged?

49. - I don't even know what that is. - Oh, yeah.

50. Well, we'll teach you. (sniffles)

51. Bucky.

52. Wake up.

53. Cousin.

54. Hey, wake up. Shit. Hey.

55. Aho. Wassup, Big Baby Boy?

56. - (chuckles) Hey, hey. - What are you doing?

57. Hey-lah, what the hell are you doing downtown?

58. - Ah. Damn, it's been a long time. - Yeah. Shit,

59. - it has been. What are you doing out here? - BUCKY: Ah.

60. Shit, you sleep on the streets now

61. - or what? - Ah, nah.

62. - BIG: Huh? - You know, me and Bethany, we...

63. we live up the way a bit.

64. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, she's mad at me, I think.

65. - (chuckles): Ooh. What you do this time, Bucky? - BUCKY: Yeah.

66. You know, I mean, she's a white woman.

67. - (groans) - (Big laughs)

68. - (Cheese chuckles) - You know. - Oh.

69. Uh, I just, uh, sat down to read a book

70. - and fell asleep. - BIG: Yeah.

71. Where's your book?

72. Um... Motherfucker.

73. Somebody must've stole my book.

74. Gee, I don't know. Can't hold on to anything.

75. You need a ride somewhere? You want something to eat

76. - or... - No, kinfolk.

77. - I mean, I'm good. - BIG: All right.

78. I just had a croissant.

79. - Hey. (chuckles) - Hey. (chuckles)

80. - Hey, little man. - Hey. Uh, my name's Cheese,

81. and my pronouns are he, him and his.

82. Hmm. Same as mine.

83. He's on a ride-along.

84. - Youth program. - Ah.

85. He wants to be a Lighthorseman, ennit?

86. A detective, really, but I guess you got to start at the bottom,

87. - so... - BUCKY: That's wassup, eh? Hey, uh, now, playboy, listen.

88. Uh, I-I got a couple things I'm getting into right now,

89. uh, so I'll catch you on the flip. But, uh, if you happen

90. to see someone carrying a book on string theory...

91. Yeah, that's mine. Okay?

92. Little man, don't let him corrupt you.

93. - No promises. - Fight the man.

94. - It's good to see you, Bucky. - Yeah.

95. - He seems nice. - (Big clears throat)

96. Aw, shit, these guys. Goddamn it.

97. Hey, little guy.

98. (chuckles): They ain't fired you yet?

99. No, I ain't been fired yet. Shit. Listen, got a young, uh,

100. Lighthorseman in training here, this young man.

101. Oh, shit. Hey, don't listen to a fucking word he says.

102. - BIG: Hey. - COP: Hey, he'll have you

103. accidentally shooting yourself in the face.

104. (chuckles) Pretty funny, guys.

105. Old football buddies of mine back in high school.

106. Fuck, Big. You still rolling around in that grandma car?

107. - Yeah. - COP 2: You'd think all that damn casino money

108. coming in, they'd get you a better fucking cruiser.

109. - (cops laugh) - BIG: Yeah. Shit.

110. Mine's just on back order, boys. Shit.

111. Getting souped-up.

112. I'll be cruising around in style. You watch.

113. You just let us know you need any backup.

114. - Yeah, I appreciate that. - COP: Yeah.

115. And we'll be sure not to show up.

116. Oh, you fucking assholes.

117. God! These-these fucking cocksuckers

118. are just jealous, man.

119. Those are the type of guys that turn out to be detectives.

120. No, that's your future if you're not careful, boy.

121. You got to be a Lighthorseman,

122. I'm telling you right now.

123. So... there were catfish heads

124. - just scattered everywhere? - Yeah.

125. All around this area here.

126. Couple days later,

127. they're gone.

128. Week or so goes by, shit,

129. there they are again.

130. Don't want to sound like

131. a crazy person—

132. this could be bigfoot activity.

133. Well, you failed.

134. What?

135. You sound like a crazy person. I mean,

136. there's no proof bigfoot exists. It's merely folklore.

137. Shit, you sound like a white person now.

138. Just 'cause you can't see something

139. don't make it less real. Eh?

140. Bigfoot is a spirit.

141. Shit, he don't want to be seen.

142. He just disappears

143. 'cause he's sacred like that in that way.

144. Hey, look.

145. That look like a footprint to you?

146. - CHEESE: No. - BIG: No?

147. Not... really.

148. Huh.

149. So, you really want to become a cop,

150. or you just trying to get out of school for the day,

151. - you little shitass? - Detective.

152. Oh, detective. Sorry.

153. So...

154. What made you want to become a Lighthorseman?

155. That's personal.

156. Never told anyone that. Next question.

157. All right. (sighs)

158. I don't know.

159. What do you do? What do you do as a Lighthorseman?

160. Hunt bad guys. Mm-hmm.

161. Main thing around here is meth heads and copper thieves,

162. usually one in the same.

163. Sometimes I deal with the supernatural,

164. - like here. - Like bigfoot?

165. I've seen a lot of things you can't explain, boy.

166. Cvpon, when you finish that drawing,

167. run to the store for Grandma

168. and grab me some cigarettes.

169. If there's any change, get yourself a sucker.

170. Yes, Grandma.

171. Well, good morning, youngin'.

172. You're back. Grandma Imajene out of smokes?

173. - Yeah. - 76 cents.

174. Up a penny.

175. Government orders.

176. There you go.

177. Got a bit left to play with here.

178. Can I use the restroom?

179. Right back there. Just past the mops.

180. - Ready? - Yeah.

181. Come on.

182. - All right. - What the fuck is this?

183. What the fuck's it look like? It's a fucking bag.

184. Put the... put the fucking money in the bag.

185. You, blue jeans.

186. Sweetheart, don't turn around. Don't move.

187. You got to fucking be kidding me! (grunts)

188. Sir, there's no toilet paper.

189. Sir! There's no

190. - toilet paper! - What was th... what was that?

191. That's-that's someone on the shitter. Go.

192. Hey, no, keep-keep the gun on her.

193. There's no toilet paper!

194. Ma'am, don't turn around.

195. Ma'am, what the shit you doing?

196. What the shit you doing? I'll... This thing'll blow!

197. I'll blow it! I never used this before!

198. Hello? I need help!

199. Aho.

200. Holy hell!

201. What the...

202. Did you see anything?

203. No.

204. - DISPATCHER: Come in, Big. - BIG: Aho.

205. Head over to Village 2.

206. Ray Ray just called in about something.

207. - Couldn't make sense of it. - BIG: Copy.

208. Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming. Coming.

209. Mm. What's up, Big? What's up, little man?

210. - Hey. - Ray Ray, you smoking weed?

211. Ooh. Yeah, man.

212. It's fucking legal now. Read the Internet.

213. I'm a federal cop.

214. Kind of.

215. - It's state legal, Ray Ray. It's not federal. - No?

216. (chuckles) Bitch, you a tribal cop, okay?

217. - Ray Ray. Put this shit out while I'm here. - Hmm? (sighs)

218. - God. - (coughing)

219. What's going on?

220. Uh, there's more, man.

221. Must be meth heads, man. They love copper.

222. I don't know if they're eating it

223. or what, but they go crazy for this stuff.

224. And, uh, Donell over there—

225. he's got three on his porch.

226. And I heard Auntie Bent got rocks in her mailbox.

227. - Rocks? - What kind of rocks?

228. Mm. Copper, I guess.

229. - Put the fucking dope away. - All right, all right.

230. - Geez. - That all you guys do around here—

231. smoke weed? Shit,

232. put the weed out! Let's go.

233. Hey.

234. Put that out, Grandma.

235. Not really ana... "anamonically" correct, is it?

236. - Mm-mm. - (chuckles)

237. Say, Big, keep an eye out

238. for a baby blue pickup. Got a call it's stolen

239. out of someone's yard.

240. Aho.

241. - Keep your eyes peeled. - Mm-hmm.

242. Oh. Taillight.

243. Here.

244. - (siren wailing on phone) - Hold that like that.

245. What? Siren's broken.

246. Hey.

247. What you checking our trunk for?

248. Got a report yesterday about a black car

249. being involved with stealing road signs. That's why.

250. (scoffs) Wasn't us. Fuck.

251. - Watch them. - Uh, gladly.

252. What you fuckers been up to, huh?

253. Surprised our car's still running?

254. Why would that surprise me?

255. 'Cause we know what you fucking did.

256. I don't know what you're talking about, though.

257. - ♪♪ We keepin' it ♪♪ - Cheese!

258. Gonna grab some smokes.

259. You're a fucking dumb-ass, anyways. It was the wrong car.

260. Yeah, man. You fucked up my uncle's car.

261. Actually had to hassle a lot for the insurance rates.

262. Had to pay a lot more than we thought we were gonna pay,

263. but it's actually okay.

264. Why would you have the same car parked next to each other?

265. - That's... - What the shit is this? Huh?

266. It's a paintball gun.

267. - Paintball gun? - Yeah.

268. Every Friday, we have paintball wars at the paintball spot.

269. It looks real. Mm.

270. You know,

271. you guys beat up my friend Bear.

272. Yeah. He's a little bitch.

273. Yeah. Okay.

274. I'll fuck you up, too, cvpon.

275. - Smash you, little man. - Hey, can I spray him

276. with Mace? He just threatened an officer.

277. You're not an officer.

278. Kind of am.

279. Let's go, Cheese.

280. I'm assuming this isn't over.

281. You damn straight.

282. See you around, cvpon.

283. Au revoir, as they say in Germany.

284. - That French? - That was not correct at all.

285. - That's French, right? - Yeah, no.

286. Way down beyond all the atoms and molecules,

287. there's one-dimensional strings that vibrate.

288. The vibrations of these strings unfurled

289. include the three dimensions

290. we exist in plus time.

291. A funny thing about time, though.

292. No one knows why we only experience it in one direction

293. when actual string theory basically dictates

294. that it should be symmetrical.

295. Well, thank you for that.

296. But, well, we need your help.

297. There's, uh, there's someone putting,

298. like, weird copper sculptures all over the village.

299. Copper sculptures.

300. Got it.

301. It makes sense that you would bring a...

302. tribal policeman here

303. 'cause...

304. 'Cause it's a scrap field. Scrapyard.

305. And, uh, well, I told Big that you two

306. were pretty, uh, outstanding individuals, if you will.

307. I'm sure you guys have a lot

308. of copper coming in and out

309. 'cause, you know, it's a scrapyard.

310. "Scrap."

311. You keep saying "scrap."

312. That's derogatory.

313. It's got a negative connotation.

314. This is a salvage yard.

315. Not scrap. Salvage.

316. - Sorry. - (Kenny Boy sighs)

317. Well, it makes total sense now.

318. Yes, Officer. We watch out for these youngins

319. from time to time.

320. They are our future.

321. - Mm. - KENNY BOY: I even call

322. this little fuck "nephew."

323. I don't mean to take up much of your time.

324. Speak freely.

325. Let there be no lies between us.

326. Oh, there won't be any lies.

327. Have you seen these little sculptures?

328. A two-dicked copper sculpture?

329. No, I have not.

330. Maybe an artist trying to get his work out there.

331. It's tough being noticed these days.

332. But, sadly,

333. copper is not our forte,

334. - per se. - ANSEL: Uh,

335. what about that big batch that was stolen?

336. Yeah, there was a...

337. a batch of legal marijuana

338. that was stolen.

339. - Legal? - ANSEL: No.

340. It was... It was over there

341. by the cockfighting ring.

342. That song is stuck in my head.

343. I watched Bloodsport again last night for, like,

344. - the 50th time. "Kumite. Kumite." Join in. - Kumite. Kumite.

345. - I think I've seen enough here. - ANSEL: Kumite.

346. - Kumite. - BIG: Uh, yeah. Yeah,

347. - I think I've seen enough. - CHEESE: Mm-hmm.

348. - Thanks for coming. - (grunts)

349. Walk in beauty, my friends.

350. Mmm.

351. - Mmm. - Mm-hmm.

352. - (vehicle approaching) - (horn honks)

353. Ooh. Oh, shit.

354. That truck was called in stolen.

355. Oh, shit. Think we got a runner.

356. Oh, finally some action.

357. Did he use a blinker?

358. Yeah.

359. The recommended distance, too.

360. Oh, shit, that looks like Bucky, ennit?

361. What's he doing? Holy cow.

362. It's a slow-speed pursuit now.

363. Want to shoot his tires out?

364. I'm not shooting his goddamn tires out.

365. What's wrong with you, boy? Shitass.

366. CHEESE (over P. A.): Pull over or you're gonna get shot.

367. Shot. Aw, fink.

368. - Ooh. - BIG: What the shit?

369. That's a lot of copper.

370. Bucky.

371. What are you doing?

372. Just riding. (chuckles)

373. Uh, driver ran off that way.

374. Fuck, Bucky, I just seen you driving.

375. Shit. Get out of the truck. Come on.

376. (sighs) All right.

377. (sighs) Okay. Yeah.

378. Bucky, you know, this truck was called in stolen.

379. - BUCKY: Uh... - Who's it belong to?

380. You remember Tammy?

381. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Tammy and Charlene?

382. Well, they wasn't using it, so I wouldn't call it stolen.

383. No? What's with all this copper, man?

384. You the one who's been

385. putting up those little men all around town or what?

386. Oh. (chuckles) Yeah, you got me on that.

387. - Yeah. - (chuckles) Why?

388. - What for? - Protection.

389. Protection? Wh... From what?

390. It's copper. See, it has this antimicrobial property.

391. It, uh, fights diseases like cholera.

392. - Cholera? What... - Well, all the old Indians

393. used to wear a whole lot of this shit back in the day

394. because it warded off disease and bad spirits, right?

395. But me and Bethany— we got this idea, see. We could

396. make up a whole bunch of these copper little people.

397. Kind of like wind chimes, right? Part of the marketing,

398. 'cause I don't believe in that social media.

399. And so, once the people are all into it...

400. Bada boom, bada bang.

401. I show 'em the bracelet, see?

402. - (laughs) - Hey, so, I just looked up that thing he was talking about

403. with the cholera, and yeah, he was-he was

404. - right about that. - See what I mean, cousin brother?

405. Yeah, you know, I walk the line like Johnny Cash. (chuckling)

406. - Right? - Where'd you get all the copper at?

407. Eh, I stole that off some meth heads.

408. They're messing up our town with that shit, you know?

409. (sighs) Okern has always been

410. a good place to live, and, uh...

411. got to keep that shit off the streets

412. so little man here can have a future.

413. - Ain't that right? - Yep.

414. Hmm.

415. (sighs) All right, well... get home.

416. Park this truck where it belongs.

417. Do me a favor, Bucky.

418. Stop putting little men on porches.

419. Shit, you're freaking fuckers out

420. - all over town, man. - (laughs)

421. - Yeah, well, that's what's up, you know? - All right, man.

422. Word is bond. And, uh...

423. Hey, little man.

424. - Yeah? - We need you out on the streets

425. fighting bad guys like Big here, you know?

426. He's one of the good ones.

427. 'Cause we was raised right, ennit?

428. Yeah.

429. - Yeah. - Get home.

430. When you get a chance, let me get one of those bracelets, too.

431. - Huh? Huh? - Yeah.

432. 12 bucks.

433. Fuck, Bucky. You're lucky

434. I don't goddamn arrest you. Shit. (laughs)

435. So, why didn't you arrest him?

436. Oh, 'cause I'm after bad guys.

437. Bucky's a good one.

438. How do you know which ones are good?

439. You got to use your detective skills.

440. Mr. Detective.

441. You know, maybe being a Lighthorseman's pretty cool.

442. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. I mean,

443. seems like it's probably more fun than anything,

444. but it's kind of a crazy job.

445. Ah, i-it's a crazy job, all right.

446. All right.

447. I'm gonna tell you why I decided to become a Lighthorseman, okay?

448. But you can't tell nobody.

449. I'll probably tell my friends.

450. All right.

451. Hey.

452. It's okay.

453. I was a friend of your grandmother's.

454. We were kids together.

455. You know who I am, right?

456. Yes.

457. Who am I?

458. You're the Deer Lady.

459. Yes.

460. Do you know what I do?

461. You kill boys?

462. Wrong.

463. I kill bad men.

464. But you're not bad.

465. You're good, so you ain't got nothing to worry about.

466. Just stay that way.

467. You're gonna want to give up.

468. You're gonna want to start drinking.

469. Become a shitass.

470. Have a bunch of kids all over the place

471. and never see them. You know, like your dad.

472. But, um...

473. just don't do that.

474. You think about your grandmother.

475. You imagine her with you every single step of the way.

476. You do that, you'll be all right.

477. So, I guess what I am saying is be good.

478. Fight evil.

479. You do that,

480. and you'll never, ever have to see me again.

481. - (engine revs) - Oh.

482. My ride's waiting.

483. (whispers): Be good.

484. Wow, that's...

485. kind of like Batman's origin story, in a way.

486. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. - I mean, except your parents didn't die

487. and you don't have a butler.

488. You're not that rich, either, or else you'd fix this radio.

489. Probably have a better car, too.

490. Not all that smart, either. Not like Batman.

491. Hey. Easy.

492. I did something.

493. - ("Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone playing) - (laughs)

494. That's my jam. (chuckles)

495. - ♪♪ Yeah ♪♪ - I still don't know it.

496. Sing it.

497. - (grunting) - (laughs)

498. - ♪♪ Hail, hail ♪♪ - (laughs)

499. - ♪♪ Don't you feel right, baby? ♪♪ - (engine revs)