1. do what I say!Copy !req
2. Sheriff's
department—Copy !req
3. Don't you talk
back to—What?Copy !req
4. She likes it rough.Copy !req
5. She likes it rough.Copy !req
6. Yeah, yeah. Stay
for the show...Copy !req
7. You know, there's
openings.Copy !req
8. And I saw there's
openings in
Flagstaff, Arizona.Copy !req
9. Yeah, I applied.Copy !req
10. Did you apply, too?Copy !req
11. Yeah, they're not
interested.Copy !req
12. They're not—Weren't
taking—
No.Copy !req
13. Oh, so their standards
are pretty high.
Yeah.Copy !req
14. Aah!Copy !req
15. Son of a bitch.
God damn it.Copy !req
16. Huh!Copy !req
17. They all have guns!Copy !req
18. Woo-Hoo!Copy !req
19. Ow!Copy !req
20. Push 'em.
Push 'em together.Copy !req
21. Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!Copy !req
22. Oh, god!Copy !req
23. Uh! Uh!Copy !req
24. Boss, boss, you're over
the line.Copy !req
25. Aah!Copy !req
26. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
27. Don't you judge me.Copy !req
28. no,
we don't judge—Copy !req
29. Don't you judge me.Copy !req
30. Then don't call us.
Then don't call for help.Copy !req
31. OK, but I have to.
I'm in pain.Copy !req
32. Andrew!Copy !req
33. I'm in so much pain!Copy !req
34. Andrew, if you don't
want to be judged,Copy !req
35. Don't call
the sheriff's department.Copy !req
36. OK, look, look, look.Copy !req
37. It is not my finest hour.Copy !req
38. Are you stuck in—Copy !req
39. In or under?Copy !req
40. Side or under?Copy !req
41. A little bit of all that.Copy !req
42. Can I ask you a question
man to man?Copy !req
43. Mm-Hmm, mm-Hmm.Copy !req
44. And I don't know her
very well.Copy !req
45. Are you going in
the front or the back?Copy !req
46. Because I can't
honestly tell
right now.Copy !req
47. Right now I'm
doing the frontCopy !req
48. Because I already—
I sort of messed up
the back already.Copy !req
49. Sort of messed up the back.Copy !req
50. Oh, I'm getting
judged so completely!Copy !req
51. Kids at home, if you're
watching, uh, uh,Copy !req
52. There's a whole lot of
predicamentsCopy !req
53. In the world you
can get out ofCopy !req
54. With a simple understandingCopy !req
55. Of some physics
and some chemistry.Copy !req
56. So what you're
gonna do, wipe.Copy !req
57. OK, warm...
hot, hot.Copy !req
58. Reach around. And you're
gonna cup her lady parts.Copy !req
59. I'll give her the old
reach-Around.Copy !req
60. All right? Yeah. Get real,
real, real, real super hot.Copy !req
61. OK.Copy !req
62. And now, I'm gonna come
in cold on your manhood.Copy !req
63. Right, right.
OK.Copy !req
64. OK. Ready?Copy !req
65. 22, 42, 32!Copy !req
66. Hut!
Hike!Copy !req
67. Aah!Copy !req
68. Waah!Copy !req
69. Aah!Copy !req
70. Oh, aah!Copy !req
71. Hang on. I got her.
She's giving. She's
giving. She's giving.Copy !req
72. Oh! Ow!Copy !req
73. She just kneed me
in the face.Copy !req
74. OK, I got her.Copy !req
75. She kneed me in the face.Copy !req
76. OK, I got her.
I got her.
OK.Copy !req
77. All right. How you
feeling? All right?Copy !req
78. All right. Well—
Yeah, it's good
seeing you guys.Copy !req
79. Good seeing you,
too, man.
Yeah.Copy !req
80. You know, you pay good
money for a shoelace,Copy !req
81. You don't need to throw
the whole thing away.Copy !req
82. Let me try it.Copy !req
83. Sorry. Hi.
Um, I was just
dropping by.Copy !req
84. Uh, confessing
to a murder.Copy !req
85. Uh, basically,
there was a,
uh, a death.Copy !req
86. A man was murdered
in Thailand
3 months ago.Copy !req
87. It's on
the Interpol site.Copy !req
88. And I am wracked
with guilt,
can't sleep.Copy !req
89. And I'm here
to just confess.Copy !req
90. And, you know, put
the bracelets on meCopy !req
91. Or—You call them
bracelets, right?Copy !req
92. I was watching
some cop show.Copy !req
93. Handcuffs.
All right.Copy !req
94. What did you do?Copy !req
95. What did you do
again?Copy !req
96. Bludgeoned a man
to death 3 months
ago in Thailand.Copy !req
97. It's on the Interpol
website.Copy !req
98. And these are
the war hammers
that did it.Copy !req
99. And I'm here
to confess.Copy !req
100. What was
your name
again?Copy !req
101. Last name is Coe. C-O-E.Copy !req
102. C-O-E.Copy !req
103. And then my first
name is Jillet.Copy !req
104. Coe?Copy !req
105. J-I-L-L-E-T.Copy !req
106. There's not an "e"
on the end.Copy !req
107. And then there's a hyphen.Copy !req
108. I wasn't even
listening.
Sorry.Copy !req
109. Hyphen "Ben. Jillet-Ben.Copy !req
110. Jillet-Ben.Copy !req
111. And then the last name
is Coe.Copy !req
112. Cindy, could you
get me through to...Copy !req
113. Thailand.Copy !req
114. The country
of Thailand.Copy !req
115. The department
of justice?Copy !req
116. We have got a detainee
who has confessed...Copy !req
117. Jillet-Ben Coe.Copy !req
118. To a murder in Thailand.Copy !req
119. Mr. Gian Diep?Copy !req
120. Yes, sir.Copy !req
121. Uh, uh... two deputies
to fly him to Thailand?Copy !req
122. Uh, yes, sir.Copy !req
123. We don't have a plane
here at the Reno sh—Copy !req
124. We'd fly first-Class
to Thailand.
Do I—Copy !req
125. Do all three of us—Copy !req
126. Do I get to go?Copy !req
127. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
128. I got a problem.
OK.Copy !req
129. This says it is
overnight delivery.
Right.Copy !req
130. The date it was sent
is 3 days ago.Copy !req
131. Ah, yeah.Copy !req
132. OK. Let me
show you something.Copy !req
133. Oh, my—Copy !req
134. This—This is what
happened as a result
of your tardiness.Copy !req
135. Right there.Copy !req
136. Is he—He's dead?Copy !req
137. Yup.Copy !req
138. Then we'll say,
if this were to
come on the dayCopy !req
139. That it was
supposed to,
who'd be not alive?Copy !req
140. You. You wouldn't
be alive.Copy !req
141. Don't go there.
That's none of
your business.Copy !req
142. So it sounds
like thank-You time.Copy !req
143. Sounds like
thank-You time to me.Copy !req
144. Not at all. Not at all.
That has nothing
to do with anything.Copy !req
145. This is about
the principle
of the matter.Copy !req
146. Adolf Hitler.Copy !req
147. Familiar with the man?Copy !req
148. I am not—Yes,
well, yeah.Copy !req
149. Everybody is.
Everybody knows
who Adolf—Copy !req
150. Killed 7 million people
basically.
Mm-Hmm.Copy !req
151. I'm sure some of
those people would
have been murderers.Copy !req
152. Ah—
Just statistically.Copy !req
153. Sure.Copy !req
154. Of course.
Well—Copy !req
155. Shut up. Yes.Copy !req
156. All right. Am I Adolf—Copy !req
157. All right.
Am I Adolf Hitler
in this equation?Copy !req
158. Watch what happens.Copy !req
159. So now I can say,
"oh, you know what?Copy !req
160. "A bunch of people
didn't get killed because
of those murderers.Copy !req
161. Adolf Hitler
is my hero.
That's you.Copy !req
162. Yes.
That's an upside.Copy !req
163. It's called half-Full.
It's called half-Full.Copy !req
164. You're Adolf Hitler.Copy !req
165. OK, actually,
I have another
packageCopy !req
166. That's for you from
John Q. Public,Copy !req
167. And it's supposed
to be here today.Copy !req
168. So it's in the
truck and, uh...Copy !req
169. Good.Copy !req
170. I'm gonna need you
to sign.Copy !req
171. Have a seat.
OK.Copy !req
172. Come on in.
We're clear.Copy !req
173. Welcome aboard.
Clear.Copy !req
174. I'll be 3A,
which is the window.Copy !req
175. Yeah, OK. Just twist.
Can you go maybe
down underhand there?Copy !req
176. Hang on.
What? Which way?
Which way?Copy !req
177. OK, that's good.
No, that's good.
That's perfect.Copy !req
178. OK. How long
is this flight?Copy !req
179. It's 14 hours.Copy !req
180. But regardless, sir,
we can't have you
in this situation.Copy !req
181. It's not safe for
either of you.Copy !req
182. No. We're first-Class.
We are first-Class.Copy !req
183. I understand.Copy !req
184. Why don't you two switch
over hereCopy !req
185. So that he gets here—Copy !req
186. I don't mean
to be rude,Copy !req
187. But then we're gonna have
the same problem where this
is not safe for you guys.Copy !req
188. Ah, you're
already up, sir.Copy !req
189. Why don't you head
up over here?Copy !req
190. Ah—
I would insist, sir.
That would be—Copy !req
191. 3B, 3B.Copy !req
192. Do we get charged
to change seats?Copy !req
193. Is there, like,
a $50, like one of them
fees that they do?Copy !req
194. Of course not.
No.Copy !req
195. 'Cause on
greyhound, when you
switch seats...Copy !req
196. They do charge
you there.Copy !req
197. They do 35 bucks.Copy !req
198. I want to have
the aisle seat. Thank you.Copy !req
199. Wait. If you can just
have a seat, relax.Copy !req
200. Oh, stretching
my little legs out.
I like that.Copy !req
201. We'd love to bring
you your beverages
and get started.Copy !req
202. Whoo.Copy !req
203. Yes?Copy !req
204. Hey.Copy !req
205. Hi.
How you doing?Copy !req
206. Great. Nuts?Copy !req
207. Yeah. I'll do that.Copy !req
208. Whoa. Ha ha. OK.Copy !req
209. Hey, these
are warm.Copy !req
210. Yes. They're toasted.Copy !req
211. On purpose?Copy !req
212. Yes.
Toasted nuts?Copy !req
213. Warm nuts.Copy !req
214. Just don't run with it.Copy !req
215. My associate,
Jones, needsCopy !req
216. His nuts warmed,
please.Copy !req
217. ha ha!Copy !req
218. Oh, you need your
nuts warmed? Here.
I'll get them...Copy !req
219. Absolutely.Copy !req
220. Sã, we're backCopy !req
221. On El Chupacabra
because suckingCopy !req
222. Con chupito.
Chupy, chupy.Copy !req
223. ÿcomo estas,
mi amor?Copy !req
224. Ah, sã, ready
to suck anything.Copy !req
225. And we're here with
the Reno sheriff's
department.Copy !req
226. well, we're
here from the Reno
sheriff's department...Copy !req
227. Covered that.Copy !req
228. To let everyone know
that we are having
a Reno family fun day.Copy !req
229. Super family
fun day!Copy !req
230. Whoa! That
sound like fun!
When is it?Copy !req
231. Well, Chupacabra,
it's may 5th.Copy !req
232. May 5th.Copy !req
233. Whoa! Cinco de mayo.Copy !req
234. That's the same
as may 5th.Copy !req
235. Cinco de mayo.
Cinco de mayo.Copy !req
236. Cinco de mayo.Copy !req
237. Same day
as may 5th.Copy !req
238. OK, we're going
to have a party
for KPBA as wellCopy !req
239. On Cinco de mayo.
Where's your party?Copy !req
240. Oh, well, ours is
at the Reno downtown
park in the municipal...Copy !req
241. The municipal
park.Copy !req
242. Oh! That's
where our party
is, too.Copy !req
243. ¡sã, nuestra fiesta!Copy !req
244. You're having
a party, too?Copy !req
245. Are you guys
in the parking lot
or in the park?Copy !req
246. Ours is in
the parking lot.Copy !req
247. In the parking lot.Copy !req
248. Oh, like
homeless people.
Ha ha!Copy !req
249. We will be inside.
What will you have
at your party?Copy !req
250. Well, we are going to
have some homeless people.Copy !req
251. We are going
to have 3 dragons
that skateboard.Copy !req
252. We're not gonna have
skateboarding dragons,Copy !req
253. But we will have
an egg toss...
and...Copy !req
254. And it's hard-Boiled eggs
so nothing gets too messy.Copy !req
255. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
256. Oh, we are
going to shave
the police's ballsCopy !req
257. Until they look
like huevos!Copy !req
258. Cocorico! Cocorico!Copy !req
259. oh, here we go.Copy !req
260. Hey!
Uh-Uh!Copy !req
261. Keep following
the cards.Copy !req
262. the party is
over, all right?Copy !req
263. Break it up.
Break it up.Copy !req
264. We got to take
you in.Copy !req
265. Aw. Come on, now.
No.Copy !req
266. You can't be doing this
scam on people.Copy !req
267. I know what you do.
You say, "hey,
find the queen.Copy !req
268. Find the queen. And then
there's no queen, see?Copy !req
269. Holy shit. I just
found the queen. See?Copy !req
270. Yeah, you would
have just won $20.Copy !req
271. I would have won $20?Copy !req
272. OK, but
she didn't.
So wrap it up.Copy !req
273. Yeah, yeah. If you
had put money down,
you would have won $20.Copy !req
274. That's all I'm saying.Copy !req
275. Rai, I'm feeling
lucky today.
No.Copy !req
276. No...
oh!Copy !req
277. Remember, I found
cotton balls at the bottom
of my grocery bag,Copy !req
278. And I hadn't even
bought cotton balls.Copy !req
279. This is my
lucky day, right?
No...Copy !req
280. Shut up! Here!Copy !req
281. Oh, sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
282. One more! Yeah. All right.Copy !req
283. Double or nothing.
Never, never, never
down. Look for the queen.Copy !req
284. Look for the queen.
Look for the queen...Copy !req
285. Where you
at, queen?
Where she at?Copy !req
286. Shh—Shh! I heard
her right there.Copy !req
287. Sorry.Copy !req
288. Squeak! There she was.Copy !req
289. Holla back, queen.Copy !req
290. Holla!Copy !req
291. That's how we do it
in Reno, bitch.Copy !req
292. You scaring me now.Copy !req
293. Crime do not pay.
Not today.Copy !req
294. That's some kind of con.Copy !req
295. No way.Copy !req
296. I told you, Rai.
I told you!Copy !req
297. You should—I might need
to borrow a few dollars.Copy !req
298. You see that?
Because you
don't listen.Copy !req
299. Hey! Fuck me!Copy !req
300. Fuck me!Copy !req
301. You don't fuck me
like that.Copy !req
302. I'll fuck you.Copy !req
303. I will fuck you.Copy !req
304. Get him, Trudy.Copy !req
305. You got it, girl.Copy !req
306. Whoa, whoa. I
just saw a penny.Copy !req
307. Rai, I found
a penny.Copy !req
308. we're at mile
marker 61 on route 8.Copy !req
309. We got
a major collision.Copy !req
310. White caucasian—
Male. Sir? Sir?Copy !req
311. Sir? Are you OK?
Are you OK?Copy !req
312. No, I'm not OK.Copy !req
313. Could you get me away
from this car, please?Copy !req
314. OK, yeah.
He is not OK.Copy !req
315. We need EMT's
right away. How long
can we expect them?Copy !req
316. I've been in
a god damn car accident,
that's what's wrong.Copy !req
317. OK, sir,
stay calm.Copy !req
318. Sir, the EMTs are
about 30 minutes away.Copy !req
319. 30 minutes away.
They'll be
right here.Copy !req
320. No, you don't understand.
I'm not gonna make
it that long.Copy !req
321. OK, let me tell
you something.Copy !req
322. I'm a doctor.
OK.Copy !req
323. OK? And I've got
hemostatic pressure
in my abdomen, all right?Copy !req
324. I'm gonna bleed out—Bleed
before they get here.Copy !req
325. So I'm gonna have to have
you guys operate on me.Copy !req
326. Dangle and Rizzo: 1, 2, 3!Copy !req
327. aah!Copy !req
328. Hold on!
Wait, wait! Wait!Copy !req
329. What's up?
OK, what is it?Copy !req
330. Here we go.Copy !req
331. This is good?Copy !req
332. This is the absolute
worst possible way
that you could beCopy !req
333. Carrying me right now.Copy !req
334. Just breathe.
You're gonna be
just fine.Copy !req
335. Just breathe.
We're gonna do this.Copy !req
336. In the backseat of my car,Copy !req
337. There's a doctor's
bag with my surgical
instruments in it.Copy !req
338. There's a doctor's
bag? What does
the bag look like?Copy !req
339. It's a fucking
doctor's bag.Copy !req
340. OK!Copy !req
341. Can you describe
it more specifically
or just is it—Copy !req
342. You ever seen "little
house on the prairie"?Copy !req
343. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
344. You ever seen doc baker
on "little house
on the prairie"?Copy !req
345. You seen a doctor's
bag before?Copy !req
346. You just
keep breathing.
I see it!Copy !req
347. Hold on. Hold on.
Come over here.Copy !req
348. "I shaved my balls
for this?"Copy !req
349. Really?Copy !req
350. You know, when I was
a kid, we would wear,Copy !req
351. I remember,
a nice tube top.Copy !req
352. I'd get all dressed
up in my koolats...Copy !req
353. Ho ho ho!Copy !req
354. My gauchos,
my pumps, a brassiere,
a pocketbook.Copy !req
355. And I'd shuffle off
to school like a lady.Copy !req
356. Stop! Turn around.Copy !req
357. Ohh! You did this
on purpose.Copy !req
358. Come here. Huh?Copy !req
359. She gonna take
her rubber band to
tie up her shirt.Copy !req
360. There.Copy !req
361. Yes, now you look
like you going
somewhere in life.Copy !req
362. Mm-Hmm. Mm! Work it. Mm!Copy !req
363. Ah, ah, ah. Really?Copy !req
364. Seriously?Copy !req
365. What is this?Copy !req
366. Raineesha,
what the hell...Copy !req
367. This nonsense,
this foolishness,Copy !req
368. I don't even understand
what all this—Copy !req
369. Take them damn glasses off.
Listen, mama loves you.Copy !req
370. All right? And I want
the best for you.Copy !req
371. All right?Copy !req
372. This is some
expensive hair.Copy !req
373. And you gonna let it swing.
You understand me?Copy !req
374. Get your ass to class.Copy !req
375. And I'm gonna see you
after school, all right?Copy !req
376. That's right.Copy !req
377. That's right!Copy !req
378. That's your daughter
Danielle.Copy !req
379. That girl is cute.Copy !req
380. She looks terrific.Copy !req
381. You know, you were
right about the implants.Copy !req
382. They look great on her.
Don't they?Copy !req
383. Yeah.Copy !req
384. Make a 3-Inch
incision above
my appendix.Copy !req
385. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req
386. Damn it.Copy !req
387. I got it, I got it.
I got it.Copy !req
388. Oh, my god.
What does the spleen
look like, doc?Copy !req
389. Aah! God!Copy !req
390. OK, the spleen—Copy !req
391. The spleen looks
like a piece of
uncooked halibut.Copy !req
392. "Uncooked halibut"?Copy !req
393. What exactly does
a halibut look like?Copy !req
394. It's a white fish.Copy !req
395. It's a white fish...
is it a large fish?Copy !req
396. No. It's a light
white fish.Copy !req
397. OK, it's not
too heavy.Copy !req
398. Oh, god. OK, wait.
Hang on. Is that it?
Is that it? Right?Copy !req
399. No, no!
That's my liver.Copy !req
400. No, no, no! Put it back.
Put it back! Put it back!Copy !req
401. Oh, god.
OK.Copy !req
402. That's
the hospital
ringtone.Copy !req
403. Who's that?Copy !req
404. I need you to
answer that.Copy !req
405. Where's your phone?
Where's your phone?Copy !req
406. In my right
pocket.Copy !req
407. Where's your phone?
Where's your phone?Copy !req
408. Dr. B. Rosen's phone?Copy !req
409. Uh, yeah, he's a little
tied up right now.Copy !req
410. Oh, god!Copy !req
411. Uh, it's an emergency.
It's your office.Copy !req
412. It's about Deborah,
your patient Deborah.Copy !req
413. OK, no,
it's Deborah.Copy !req
414. That's one of
my patients.Copy !req
415. She's having
a baby, OK?Copy !req
416. She's into labor.Copy !req
417. Oh, my god. OK,
Deborah's in labor?Copy !req
418. What—What am I
supposed to ask?Copy !req
419. I'm gonna have to talk
her husbandCopy !req
420. Through the delivery.Copy !req
421. OK, OK, we're going
to talk her through
the delivery. Hang on.Copy !req
422. I need him to look
at her vagina.Copy !req
423. How much is
she dilated?Copy !req
424. Look at her vagina.
How dilated is it?Copy !req
425. Is it the size
of the top of
a soup can?Copy !req
426. Is it the size of
a top of a soup can?Copy !req
427. It's bigger than that.Copy !req
428. It's a little bigger
than that.Copy !req
429. OK. The baby's
coming. It's
almost there, OK?Copy !req
430. Just keep pushing,
all right?Copy !req
431. Let me know when
the shoulders come
through the cervix.Copy !req
432. OK, have you seen
the shoulders? Can you
see shoulders yet?Copy !req
433. Are the shoulders
coming out yet?Copy !req
434. You push! Yes, they
can see the shoulders!Copy !req
435. Keep pushing.
Keep pushing. Oh, my god.Copy !req
436. Oh, my god!
They did it! It's out!Copy !req
437. They got it?
It's out!Copy !req
438. Listen! Listen!Copy !req
439. That's good. OK.Copy !req
440. Oh, my god!Copy !req
441. That's wonderful!Copy !req
442. I need you to—
We're happy you did it.Copy !req
443. Dangle and Rizzo:
congratulations!Copy !req
444. I need you to tie off
the umbilical cord.Copy !req
445. Rizzo and Dangle:
tie off the umbilical cord.Copy !req
446. No, no, no!Copy !req
447. No, no, no! They tie off
the umbilical cord.Copy !req
448. Andy needs
to tie off
the umbilical cordCopy !req
449. Of their new infant.Copy !req
450. Andy, you need to tie
off the umbilical cord.Copy !req
451. He doesn't have
an umbilical cord. You
obviously don't have an...Copy !req
452. Then what is this?
Snip it and then clamp it?Copy !req
453. Snip and clamp.
Snip and clamp.Copy !req
454. Got it! Got it! Got it!Copy !req
455. Go ahead and clamp
it very tight.Copy !req
456. You did great,
you guys.Copy !req
457. Stitch...Copy !req
458. You did great,
guys.Copy !req
459. OK, just
apply pressure.Copy !req
460. OK.
Ohh, OK. OK.Copy !req
461. Oh! I got
socks. What'd
you get?Copy !req
462. Tissues.Copy !req
463. oh, I don't want—
I don't want—No.
How much is that?Copy !req
464. It's complimentary.Copy !req
465. Complimentary, meaning...Copy !req
466. Again, free.Copy !req
467. It always means
free. Here.
Oh!Copy !req
468. Could I get
a vodka martini,
please?Copy !req
469. Shaken,
not stirred,Copy !req
470. A little dirty
with two olives.Copy !req
471. Put a shot
of jage
in there.Copy !req
472. Oh, OK.Copy !req
473. Ah, ah, ah!Copy !req
474. That's a Reno no-No.Copy !req
475. If you have toddlers
in the house, keep
your guns up highCopy !req
476. And out of reach.Copy !req
477. Remember...Copy !req
478. If it's got bullets
and a trigger,Copy !req
479. Keep it up high
until they get bigger.Copy !req
480. The same with poisons.Copy !req
481. And drugs.Copy !req
482. If it gets you high
or makes you sick,Copy !req
483. Throw it up high
and put it there quick.Copy !req
484. The same with
hardcore pornography,
like girl on girlCopy !req
485. And full penetration
fetish magazines.Copy !req
486. Put that porn
in its proper place.Copy !req
487. This has been a message
from your Reno
sheriff's department.Copy !req
488. Excuse me. Hi.Copy !req
489. Could you all just
please keep it down?Copy !req
490. I'll go high.
You go low.Copy !req
491. Yeah, do it.Copy !req
492. Could you
stop singing?Copy !req
493. Oh, ha ha!Copy !req
494. Mile high club!Copy !req
495. Whoo, whoo!Copy !req
496. All right. Which one
of you masturbated
in the bathroom?Copy !req
497. Not—Not me. I was
cuffed to a lawman.Copy !req
498. The mirror is a mess.Copy !req
499. that don't count.
That don't count.Copy !req
500. That counts.
That totally counts.Copy !req
501. That don't count.Copy !req
502. Yeah, of course it does.Copy !req
503. No, that don't
count...Copy !req
504. Does that count?
It counts.Copy !req
505. Did you send me
a stripper?Copy !req
506. You like it?
I don't.Copy !req
507. I don't like it.Copy !req
508. Oh, my god.
I got a good price
on that one for you!Copy !req
509. Cindy, I'm not—
I'm not into girls.Copy !req
510. And it was very
uncomfortable for me.Copy !req
511. Oh, no.
Yes...Copy !req
512. Oh, no!Copy !req
513. I take care of
an elderly woman
on Sundays,Copy !req
514. And she was over
at my house.Copy !req
515. Oh, my god.
Yeah.Copy !req
516. Oh, I didn't
know that.
Yeah.Copy !req
517. Oh, she is
the best one, though.Copy !req
518. She was good.Copy !req
519. She is the best one
in the whole area.Copy !req
520. Yeah, she was good.
I'm not sureCopy !req
521. How I'm gonna
get my carpet
completely clean.Copy !req
522. Oh! She—Oh!Copy !req
523. You know, she has
trained many year
to do that skill.Copy !req
524. Yeah. Oh, she—
She has mastered
it completely.Copy !req
525. Oh, oh, that's
so good. I'm happy.Copy !req
526. Yeah, and she stayed
a long time.Copy !req
527. I think she was
waiting for her tip.
Did you tip her?Copy !req
528. I was supposed
to tip her?Copy !req
529. Yeah, then that's when
they leave, you see.Copy !req
530. It was a gift!Copy !req
531. Yeah, but still,
you know, even if
you pay for it,Copy !req
532. You should tip...Copy !req
533. You still tip
on a gift?Copy !req
534. And then
they leave, yeah.Copy !req
535. Oh, now
I'm humiliated.Copy !req
536. Yeah.
Well, here.Copy !req
537. Will you send
her back to my
house this weekendCopy !req
538. And tell her
I'll give her
an extra great tip?Copy !req
539. OK.Copy !req
540. Just—It's only
because—Not because
I'm interested,Copy !req
541. But just because...Copy !req
542. Yeah. It's polite.Copy !req
543. You know, because
I'm embarrassed.Copy !req
544. Yeah, that, too.
Yeah.Copy !req
545. OK, I'm sorr—I never
send girl dancer
ever again.Copy !req
546. Never. This
Saturday...Copy !req
547. OK.
Again, but never
after that.Copy !req
548. OK. Oh, one more time...Copy !req
549. Yeah.Copy !req
550. Only.Copy !req
551. You guys did real
good today.Copy !req
552. Ah, come on.Copy !req
553. It was the least
we could do.Copy !req
554. Yeah.
Come on, doc.
You did good.Copy !req
555. That's right.
You did good.Copy !req
556. You delivered a baby
into the world.Copy !req
557. Oh, my god!
I forgot.
It was a girl!Copy !req
558. Hey! Hey!
Congratulations.Copy !req
559. Yeah, I know
it was, all right?
I'm a doctor.Copy !req
560. I saw the ultrasound,
so... heh heh.Copy !req
561. Oh...Copy !req
562. All right.
Of course. Well,
that would make sense.Copy !req
563. Of course he knew.Copy !req
564. Sure. You knew
that already.
It was exciting for us.Copy !req
565. It was exciting.
I thought it would
be fun to tell you.Copy !req
566. Sure, yeah. But
I knew it already.Copy !req
567. So, listen,
if my cell phone
turns up, all right,Copy !req
568. Would you make sure
you send it over to
st. Clark's medical center?Copy !req
569. You betcha.Copy !req
570. Will do.
You betcha.Copy !req
571. OK, thank you.
Excellent.Copy !req
572. All right.
We will.
Godspeed.Copy !req
573. I was holding it,
and then I...Copy !req
574. I saw you with it.
And then you
put it down...Copy !req
575. I—I know.Copy !req
576. And, uh...
I know.Copy !req
577. And my watch is gone.
My watch was here.Copy !req
578. I know I had my watch.Copy !req
579. At some point, we'll
go over there, and
we'll find them both.Copy !req
580. You know,
for a guy who's
being extraditedCopy !req
581. For crimes in
Thailand...Copy !req
582. Mm...Copy !req
583. You're pretty
fucking weird.Copy !req
584. Well, I've never
been to Thailand.Copy !req
585. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
586. This guy, this big old guy
got murdered in Thailand.Copy !req
587. Someone bludgeoned him.Copy !req
588. And I just said,
"you know what I'm gonna do?Copy !req
589. "I'm just gonna—
I'm gonna confess."Copy !req
590. I put my hand up.Copy !req
591. And I thought,
I'll get a plane ride
with drinks and gifts.Copy !req
592. I didn't think it
was gonna go this far.Copy !req
593. And here I—Here we are.Copy !req
594. We was having drinks,
and he made himself
happy in the bathroom,Copy !req
595. And all this free stuff.Copy !req
596. And look at all
these little—Copy !req
597. It just worked out. Mm.Copy !req
598. Thailand!Copy !req
599. we're going to Thailand!Copy !req
600. And we're gonna
keep that eye on
you every minute.Copy !req
601. No. You're welcome.
Oh, you better.Copy !req
602. Look at this.Copy !req
603. Thailand!Copy !req
604. Officers and Coe:
Thailand! Thailand!
Thailand! Thailand!Copy !req
605. OK, stop, please.
Please. Quiet, OK?Copy !req
606. Hi.Copy !req
607. We—Hi. You're
being ejected...Copy !req
608. Huh? Wha...Copy !req
609. From
the plane, yes.Copy !req
610. you're gonna turn
this plane around?Copy !req
611. We're already
halfway there. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
612. We're still on
the ground. Okay?Copy !req
613. We haven't left
the gate.Copy !req
614. You've gone through
6 bottles of champagne
in 28 minutes.Copy !req
615. Ooh.
Uh-Oh.Copy !req
616. Shit.Copy !req
617. Yeah.Copy !req
618. Our bad.
Our bad.Copy !req
619. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
620. and the marshal's
already out there?Copy !req
621. Yes.Copy !req
622. all right.
Hang on, hang on. Look.Copy !req
623. well,
I will just—Copy !req
624. I'm sorry,
everyone.Copy !req
625. I made two
puppet friends.Copy !req
626. OK. That's very nice.Copy !req
627. from the plane. Now...Copy !req
628. Second
please exit quickly
and quietly, please.Copy !req
629. I got it.
I got it, OK?Copy !req
630. exit. Come
with me. Come quietly.Copy !req
631. saving
the marshal a little
bit of work here.Copy !req
632. all right.Copy !req
633. all right.Copy !req
634. hang on. Let
me grab on to the
bottom of your coat.Copy !req
635. Just—Good-Bye.Copy !req
636. Good-Bye.Copy !req
637. I'm so sorry,
everyone.Copy !req
638. We'll be taking off
shortly. Thank you
for your patience.Copy !req
639. "the Muppet
show. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
640. Good-Bye.Copy !req