1. OK, so your name is George?
You're the manager?
Copy !req
2. Yes, sir. Yes.
Copy !req
3. OK. Your tag checks
out there.
Copy !req
4. I got the tape
from the surveillance video.
Copy !req
5. I installed
this whole thing here
Copy !req
6. Last time this
happened, so—
Copy !req
7. Is that that camera
right up there?
Copy !req
8. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
9. OK. He gets up
on this counter?
Copy !req
10. Yes, sir.
That's this counter.
Copy !req
11. That is this
table right here.
Copy !req
12. He's undoing
his pants there.
Copy !req
13. It's evidence,
I guess, now.
Copy !req
14. Yeah.
Copy !req
15. Oh, you want to maybe
put it in one cup.
Copy !req
16. Put it all in one cup,
and then we'll just send it
Copy !req
17. Straight to the lab. OK.
Copy !req
18. Son of a bitch.
Goddamn it!
Copy !req
19. Come on.
Copy !req
20. They all have guns!
Copy !req
21. Whoo hoo!
Copy !req
22. Ow!
Copy !req
23. Push them together?
Copy !req
24. Get off the bike!
Off your bike.
Copy !req
25. Oh! God!
Copy !req
26. Aah!
Copy !req
27. We got a call about
some lights
Copy !req
28. Out in the desert here.
Copy !req
29. We got to check
it out.
Copy !req
30. Probably nothing,
but—
Copy !req
31. You put a little bit
in a bowl, smoke it.
Copy !req
32. Is that the one you
make a tea out of,
Copy !req
33. Herbal. You can put
it in a tea...
Copy !req
34. Get a shaman,
get a guide?
Copy !req
35. Or you can smoke
a little bowl of it,
too, totally legal.
Copy !req
36. Huh, Salvia.
Somebody is
already on it.
Copy !req
37. Hey, boys. Hi,
fellas.
Copy !req
38. Sorry.
We didn't know.
Copy !req
39. Great to see
you over there.
Copy !req
40. We thought we was
first on the scene.
Copy !req
41. Oh, no, no.
We beat you to it.
Copy !req
42. Yeah. We were in the area.
We got the call.
Copy !req
43. Somebody saw some
lights or something?
Copy !req
44. Yeah. It's all
taken care of.
Copy !req
45. You don't got
to worry about it.
Copy !req
46. You have a good one.
Copy !req
47. Take care, you guys.
Copy !req
48. Hey, can I ask
you something?
Yeah.
Copy !req
49. Do you know
those guys?
Copy !req
50. I thought you did.
That's why I was like—
Copy !req
51. I wasn't gonna say anything.
I thought you knew—
Copy !req
52. I thought you knew
those guys.
Copy !req
53. Yeah. No. I never—
Copy !req
54. I don't remember
any of those guys.
Copy !req
55. Well, I mean—
Copy !req
56. Who are those—
You know, like—
Copy !req
57. On the other side
of the road,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
58. Behind you,
there's all
those other guys.
Copy !req
59. Those are those
guys, right?
Copy !req
60. Right? Hey,
how y'all doing?
Hey, guys.
Copy !req
61. Oh, hey, guys.
You guys are back.
Copy !req
62. I thought you guys
were leaving.
Copy !req
63. I thought we told
you to leave.
Copy !req
64. Uh, we did.
You guys are—
Copy !req
65. You're with us.
Copy !req
66. Third generation.
Hey, when you guys
get home,
Copy !req
67. Just take a good,
long shower,
Copy !req
68. Wash any exposed skin
and everything.
Copy !req
69. Officer 2: yeah, and
actually, if you have
Copy !req
70. An eye-wash rig at home,
I'd recommend using that.
Copy !req
71. We got one
at the station.
Copy !req
72. There you go.
Copy !req
73. Seriously...
Copy !req
74. Do you guys want
coffee or hoagies
or anything at all?
Copy !req
75. Because we're about
to make a run.
Copy !req
76. We're already
in the car.
Copy !req
77. No, no. It's that
acid reflux.
Copy !req
78. OK. I know. It's
late. It's late.
Copy !req
79. Hey, good night.
Copy !req
80. Good night, guys.
Adios.
Copy !req
81. Last chance for
coffee and hoagie!
Copy !req
82. Yeah. No, thanks. OK.
You are too kind.
Copy !req
83. All right.
Let's dig it up.
Copy !req
84. Yep.
Copy !req
85. He's over here. He's—
Copy !req
86. Uh-Uh, uh-Uh, uh-Uh, uh-Uh.
Easy, vest. Bye-Bye.
Copy !req
87. You have nothing
to say here.
Andrew—
Copy !req
88. He's not the issue.
The issue is me, OK?
Copy !req
89. I come into captain Crabby,
one, for quality,
Copy !req
90. Two, for my baby,
my girlfriend,
my sweet love.
Copy !req
91. It's her birthday.
Copy !req
92. All I want was
to bring her
Copy !req
93. To an expensive dinner
and have them sing
Copy !req
94. "Happy birthday,"
and they said no.
Copy !req
95. All of these people
here are jealous.
Copy !req
96. Calm down. Hush.
Can I—Can I ask
you something?
Copy !req
97. Yes. Please. Please,
please ask me a question.
Copy !req
98. I'm gonna ask
you the simplest
question.
Copy !req
99. Yes. Please.
Copy !req
100. Is this a sex doll?
Copy !req
101. Yes. State law says that
a restaurant must sing
Copy !req
102. "Birthday" despite race,
creed, color, inanimate.
Copy !req
103. How much did you
spend on this thing?
Copy !req
104. $17,000.
Copy !req
105. 17,000?
Oh, my god.
Copy !req
106. It was worth it.
It was worth it.
Copy !req
107. It was worth 17—
Copy !req
108. Soon as you get in this,
never got back to human.
Copy !req
109. Don't do that again.
Don't do this.
Don't do that.
Copy !req
110. Oh, OK. Oh, you know what?
Oh, hey, gesture police,
Copy !req
111. I can do this. I can do this.
I can do this. I can do this.
Copy !req
112. You can do it all night.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Copy !req
113. I can do this.
Bup, bup, bup.
Copy !req
114. Nope. No!
I can do whatever I want.
Copy !req
115. If you get
the captain Crabby shrimp—
Copy !req
116. Birthday shrimp
for a song,
Copy !req
117. Then, yes, I will
be satisfied.
Copy !req
118. Just want to go to lunch.
Copy !req
119. Ah, see? That's nice.
See? What?
Copy !req
120. Uh-Oh. She's said I can go
down on her.
Copy !req
121. Here? OK, baby. OK.
Copy !req
122. No, no. Get him.
Copy !req
123. What? Oh, come on now.
Come on!
Copy !req
124. Andrew, that's it.
Copy !req
125. hey, outstanding news.
Copy !req
126. I bet you're all
gonna be excited.
Copy !req
127. We're finally recognizing
the Armenian genocide.
Copy !req
128. I feel like every time you
do one of them drum rolls...
Copy !req
129. Hmm?
Copy !req
130. You're starting
the bar way too high.
Copy !req
131. Was that too exciting?
Copy !req
132. That was, like getting
you too excited?
Copy !req
133. We think we're gonna have
some kind of taco bar or...
Copy !req
134. Oh. Sorry. Or
they're closing down
the amusement park
Copy !req
135. Just for us? Yeah.
Something, yeah.
Copy !req
136. Is the Armenian
genocide some sort
of festival?
Copy !req
137. No. There is
an Armenian festival.
Copy !req
138. This is not that.
No. Travis?
Copy !req
139. Are we gonna maybe
redo secret Santa,
Copy !req
140. Maybe do 2 out
of 3 this year?
Copy !req
141. Just because I've heard
a lot of people saying
Copy !req
142. That they weren't really
specifically happy
Copy !req
143. With their secret Santa.
Copy !req
144. Wait. No. No one
said that.
Copy !req
145. wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Who said that?
Copy !req
146. I didn't say that.
Copy !req
147. that's what
the talk—The talk is that—
Copy !req
148. The talk is,
or your talk is?
Copy !req
149. I get crazy anxiety
about pulling that.
Copy !req
150. I don't want to go
through that again.
Copy !req
151. That's not in the spirit
of the season.
Copy !req
152. We should all just
get on board.
Copy !req
153. You know, we all know
each other well enough
Copy !req
154. To pick gifts
that represent our
personalities, I think.
Copy !req
155. You know what?
This is a little
off topic, guys,
Copy !req
156. But just about
those lights
the other night,
Copy !req
157. Headquarters called
and said it was
Copy !req
158. Just a helicopter
reflecting off a
batch of swamp gas,
Copy !req
159. Nothing to be
concerned about.
Copy !req
160. So done deal.
Copy !req
161. Good meeting, team.
Productive work.
Copy !req
162. See you. See you, guys.
Copy !req
163. Are those guys the same guys
that are always there?
Copy !req
164. That's what I was
just gonna ask.
Copy !req
165. They never talk.
They never talk.
Copy !req
166. They are, right?
Copy !req
167. who else
would they be?
Copy !req
168. Why would you be
in this room
Copy !req
169. And sit through
this shit
Copy !req
170. If you didn't have to?
Copy !req
171. Exactly. Precisely.
Copy !req
172. What the hell?
Copy !req
173. holy fucking shit.
Copy !req
174. What?
Huh?
Copy !req
175. Do we have to do secret
Santa for them guys, too?
Copy !req
176. No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Copy !req
177. Yeah. We should know
these guys.
Copy !req
178. I'm just not very good
with names or faces
Copy !req
179. Or remembering, like,
a whole conversation
Copy !req
180. Or, like, part
of a conversation
Copy !req
181. Or, you know,
the facts or the figures
Copy !req
182. Or the math or the—
Copy !req
183. Butterflies.
Butterflies, right
over there.
Copy !req
184. Oh. No. Piece of paper.
Copy !req
185. Piece of paper.
Yeah. Garbage.
Copy !req
186. It's garbage,
but it was fluttering
just like a butterfly.
Copy !req
187. That's pretty. Yeah.
Copy !req
188. You know how much
these houses go for?
Copy !req
189. How much?
$400,000.
Copy !req
190. 400,000? $400,000?
Copy !req
191. I can go buy
a castle in France.
Copy !req
192. Ho ho.
Oh, right?
Copy !req
193. OK.
OK.
Copy !req
194. freeze!
Neighborhood watch!
Copy !req
195. Come on. Get your
hands in the air.
Copy !req
196. Reno sheriff's
department.
Copy !req
197. Do you mind putting
the guns down...
Copy !req
198. Can we just put
the guns down?
Copy !req
199. And we can just get
to business?
Copy !req
200. We could go check
out this house
over here.
Copy !req
201. We're just trying to
do our job, ma'am.
Copy !req
202. Just put
the gun down.
Copy !req
203. That's not gonna happen.
That's not gonna happen.
Copy !req
204. You should go back
into your car,
Copy !req
205. And you should go back
to the sheriff's department.
Copy !req
206. Let's get in our car,
and let's go back
Copy !req
207. To the sheriff's
department.
Copy !req
208. Did you leave your balls
at the station house?
Copy !req
209. You've got a gate.
Why do you
have 150 guns here?
Copy !req
210. Because we have
a very low wall.
Copy !req
211. Freeze! Freeze!
Freeze! Neighborhood watch!
Copy !req
212. No, no, no!
You don't
say freeze!
Copy !req
213. You don't say freeze!
We say freeze!
Copy !req
214. Freeze! Neighborhood watch!
Copy !req
215. You don't say freeze!
We say freeze!
Copy !req
216. Freeze, you fucker!
Copy !req
217. Goddamn it!
Copy !req
218. get the fuck
off my lawn!
Copy !req
219. Hey! Jesus!
Copy !req
220. Different man:
freeze! Neighborhood watch!
Copy !req
221. Oh, my god! Damn it!
Copy !req
222. Who the hell
are these people?
Copy !req
223. Man, I don't know.
I've never been to this
neighborhood before.
Copy !req
224. Jesus! Oh, god.
Copy !req
225. Jesus.
Hey, how you doing?
Copy !req
226. The keys. Give me
your car keys.
Copy !req
227. I'll be right
back for you.
Copy !req
228. Go.
Copy !req
229. Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Copy !req
230. This is
a gated community.
Copy !req
231. He's come back!
Copy !req
232. Go, go, go, go!
Copy !req
233. you forgot
the stereo, assholes.
Copy !req
234. Ha ha ha! Yo soy
El chupacabra!
Copy !req
235. ¡coco rico! ¡coco rico!
Copy !req
236. Aqui en KPBA 102.0.
Copy !req
237. The cero is silent.
Copy !req
238. We are Reno's number-one
Spanish-speaking radio station,
Copy !req
239. And we're here with
the Reno sheriff's department.
Copy !req
240. Reno sheriff,
â¿cã'mo te van?
Copy !req
241. Mucha gracias,
Chupacabra!
Copy !req
242. Y gracias por having
us on the show.
Copy !req
243. Thanks for having us.
Copy !req
244. We just want to
announce to all of your
listeners out there
Copy !req
245. That it's
bicycle safety week.
Copy !req
246. If you come down
to the Reno sheriff's
department this Saturday,
Copy !req
247. We're giving coupons
for $4.00 off
Copy !req
248. Any bike helmet
in the area.
Copy !req
249. Well, it is super important,
though, so come on—
Copy !req
250. What was that?
That was a big
sLeeping because
Copy !req
251. Of your boring
talking.
Copy !req
252. Yeah. It may not be
the most exciting thing
in the world,
Copy !req
253. But I think everybody
appreciates bike safety.
Copy !req
254. You know what's
exciting? Race wars!
Copy !req
255. Ka ka ka ka ka ka ka
ka ka ka ka ka ka ka
ka ka ka!
Copy !req
256. No, no, no, no.
Race cars.
Copy !req
257. Time for
a commercial break.
Copy !req
258. I know.
Copy !req
259. Yo voy con pistola,
sã, ping-ping
cuando se van.
Copy !req
260. ÿdesde al frente?
No. Al behind. Sã.
Copy !req
261. I'm going
to kill them.
Copy !req
262. Am I crazy? You said
you're gonna shoot us
Copy !req
263. With a gun when we leave.
Copy !req
264. Nah. That's
just Spanish.
Copy !req
265. It's a joke.
Copy !req
266. That's
an expression.
Copy !req
267. I would not shoot
you from behind
Copy !req
268. Como un cobarde,
a coward.
Copy !req
269. No. I will shoot you
from the front.
Copy !req
270. And we're back on
the air having fun.
Copy !req
271. ¡coco rico! ¡coco rico!
¡coco rico! ¡coco rico!
Copy !req
272. Hey, Tru?
What?
Copy !req
273. I have an idea for
how we could check
Copy !req
274. To see if the 3
fellows whose names
I can't remember—
Copy !req
275. Yeah. How?
Copy !req
276. I got a plan.
OK.
Copy !req
277. It's not checked out,
but here's the thing.
Copy !req
278. OK.
I think they're
all Jews.
Copy !req
279. Why? What makes you
think that?
Copy !req
280. Just look
at their faces?
Copy !req
281. They have those
beaky faces...
Copy !req
282. Yeah.
But here's the thing.
Copy !req
283. I need you to get
some pictures
of their foreskins.
Copy !req
284. How am I gonna
do that?
Copy !req
285. I think
the old-fashioned way.
Copy !req
286. You know what
I'll do?
Copy !req
287. What's that?
Copy !req
288. I'm just gonna go
old school.
Yeah?
Copy !req
289. I'm just gonna say,
"hey, guys, I'm having
Copy !req
290. "A make-out party
at my place tonight.
Copy !req
291. Why don't you bring
your dicks?
Right.
Copy !req
292. last year
for secret Santa,
Copy !req
293. Everyone got a present
except for me.
Copy !req
294. That doesn't make
any sense.
Copy !req
295. Because the person
who got your name
Copy !req
296. Didn't want to get
you nothing.
Copy !req
297. That's Fitz.
Copy !req
298. That's not Fitz.
That's just somebody
Copy !req
299. Don't like you.
Copy !req
300. Yep. We got a secret Jew
in the group.
Copy !req
301. That's what that is.
No. Hey!
Copy !req
302. Oh. Hey, ladies.
Copy !req
303. What's happening?
Copy !req
304. How you doing, fellas?
Copy !req
305. What was that?
Copy !req
306. Are y'all
related or—
Copy !req
307. No.
No, no, no, no.
Copy !req
308. I thought you were related
because you're name is
Copy !req
309. What? I'm sorry.
Copy !req
310. Excuse me.
I'm eating a hot dog.
Copy !req
311. Did you just say my
name was Fernando?
Copy !req
312. No.
Copy !req
313. I'm training her
for a hot dog
eating contest.
Copy !req
314. We're training
for a hot dog
eating contest.
Copy !req
315. On, no. My god. Oh.
Copy !req
316. Show us how fast
you can eat one.
Copy !req
317. Show us how fast
you can eat one.
Do it. Do it.
Copy !req
318. Trudy! Trudy! Trudy! Trudy!
Trudy! Trudy! Trudy! Trudy!
Trudy! Tru—
Copy !req
319. OK. All right.
Copy !req
320. Hey, we took care
of car 57 for you.
Copy !req
321. Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
322. Jesus, these smell bad.
Is it sulfur?
Copy !req
323. Thanks,
Copy !req
324. They ain't getting
no secret Santa
Copy !req
325. If we don't know
who the hell they are.
Copy !req
326. Ohh...
here we go.
Copy !req
327. I fucking hate this place.
Let's go, sarge.
Copy !req
328. Yeah.
Copy !req
329. Shit.
Copy !req
330. Fuck you!
Copy !req
331. Hah cha cha cha cha
cha cha. OK, OK, OK.
Copy !req
332. ho! Sheriff's
department.
Copy !req
333. Everybody needs to cool
the fuck out!
Copy !req
334. Sorry, ma'am. Wish
we could've made it here
in time for the action.
Copy !req
335. You, get the fuck
out of my bar!
Copy !req
336. Aah! Aah!
Copy !req
337. Sheriff's department.
Copy !req
338. Hi. Uhh...
Copy !req
339. Uhh to you, too.
Copy !req
340. Mike, we're here
because your
neighbors
Copy !req
341. Have been
wondering about you
a little bit.
Copy !req
342. Yeah?
Copy !req
343. They're a little
concerned about,
you know—
Copy !req
344. About this whole scenario here.
They're concerned.
Copy !req
345. That's nice. That's
nice. That's a nice—
Copy !req
346. You know, when you buy
into a neighborhood
like this...
Copy !req
347. Yeah?
Copy !req
348. You know, you watch
each other's back, and—
Copy !req
349. You're good?
You're fine?
Copy !req
350. Oh! Oh!
Come on, Michael. Michael!
Copy !req
351. Uh-Oh.
"Uh-Oh."
Copy !req
352. These ain't my pants.
Copy !req
353. Can you tell us
about last night?
Copy !req
354. I was partying down.
Copy !req
355. Really?
Copy !req
356. I was down—
Yeah?
Copy !req
357. Down over at the, ohh,
biker bar,
Copy !req
358. But they're not
real bikers,
Copy !req
359. The biker bar, though,
lot of fellas...
Copy !req
360. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
361. Mm, then
what happened?
Copy !req
362. We got it on beerwise
and then got it on
Copy !req
363. With a shot and then,
"you want a, man?"
Copy !req
364. "What's that? Oh, I did
it off his back—
Copy !req
365. Ha ha ha—
And then bloop. Bloop.
Copy !req
366. Bloop is...
Copy !req
367. Went blank.
What did—Oh.
Copy !req
368. That's all you remember.
Copy !req
369. And then you guys
hassling me.
Copy !req
370. It hurts when I breathe.
Copy !req
371. Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
372. Mm, god...
Copy !req
373. Did someone punch
you in the gut, too?
Copy !req
374. I think they punched me
up in the butt.
Copy !req
375. Up the butt. There's
another word for that.
Copy !req
376. Hey, Marvin?
Copy !req
377. It's not hey Marvin.
Copy !req
378. It's Lee Marvin,
is what I meant.
Copy !req
379. Lee Marvin.
Lee Marvin.
Copy !req
380. Lee Marvin.
Copy !req
381. When I said,
"hey, Marvin,"
Copy !req
382. I was going to
reference Lee Marvin
Copy !req
383. In that terrific
picture...
Copy !req
384. "Paint your wagons red"?
Copy !req
385. That's exactly
what I meant.
Copy !req
386. "Paint your wagons red.
Yeah.
Copy !req
387. Yep.
Copy !req
388. Hi, kids. My name is
deputy Trudy Wiegel,
Copy !req
389. And I am from the Reno
sheriff's department,
Copy !req
390. And I am here today to talk to
you about your red-light areas.
Copy !req
391. Now, I know it's sometimes hard
to keep track of all of them
Copy !req
392. Because we got
so darn many of them,
Copy !req
393. So I wrote a little song
to help you remember
just where they are.
Copy !req
394. For 3 years in a row,
Trudy Wiegel has gotten
me for secret Santa.
Copy !req
395. 3 years ago,
caramel apple.
Copy !req
396. I threw
the caramel apple away
at the station.
Copy !req
397. Last year, swear to god,
same caramel apple.
Copy !req
398. And every year,
he throws it away,
Copy !req
399. So I just take it out
of the garbage.
Copy !req
400. Next year, I regift it.
I just put more sprinkles
on the outside
Copy !req
401. And make it look
more festive.
Copy !req
402. Also every year,
I give him a coupon
for a hug.
Copy !req
403. He hasn't turned
any of them in yet
to get his hugs.
Copy !req
404. I think he's probably saving
them all up to trade them in
Copy !req
405. For one big blow job.
Copy !req
406. Raar raar raar raar!
Ha ha ha!
Copy !req
407. Got a 911 call out here
in Donner state park.
Copy !req
408. Boy, this
is a long drive.
Copy !req
409. Thank you.
Good to see you. Yeah.
Copy !req
410. You OK?
Copy !req
411. You guys came in like
the Flintstones.
Copy !req
412. That was like
yabba dabba doo.
Copy !req
413. It's an 18-Minute drive
from the main highway.
Copy !req
414. Yeah. We had a washout, too.
Copy !req
415. I'm surprised you guys
got through that.
Copy !req
416. Yeah. I think we
bottomed out there,
Copy !req
417. Took some damage.
You all right?
Copy !req
418. Good to see you.
You look good.
Copy !req
419. You look good.
You lose weight?
Copy !req
420. Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah, a little bit,
little bit, yeah.
Copy !req
421. You working out?
Copy !req
422. A little bit,
little bit.
Copy !req
423. Good. You look strong.
Copy !req
424. Not a social call,
I hope.
Copy !req
425. God, I hope this is
not a social call.
Copy !req
426. No, sir. No, no.
Come on over here.
Copy !req
427. Have a seat. Have a seat.
Copy !req
428. No, no, no. We
will not sit down.
Copy !req
429. Is the perp still here?
Perp still here?
Copy !req
430. It's a yarn.
It's a bit of a yarn.
Copy !req
431. We don't have time.
Copy !req
432. We don't have time
for a bit of a yarn.
Copy !req
433. We for sure don't have
time for a yarn.
Copy !req
434. So, I'm out there,
and I'm in a certain area,
Copy !req
435. And I see something.
I'm thinking,
Copy !req
436. "Oh, maybe that's a bear."
Copy !req
437. You know, I got Chuck,
Copy !req
438. And I got Gary over
on this side.
Copy !req
439. I got names
for them, you know?
Copy !req
440. And then I think it
was, like, a guy.
Copy !req
441. It looked like a man,
but I'm not sure
because he was—
Copy !req
442. Vagrant, homeless fella.
Copy !req
443. I think it was
a homeless vagrant.
Copy !req
444. Homeless man.
Dressed as a bear?
Copy !req
445. Probably a drifter.
Copy !req
446. Probably a bear
or just your mistake?
Copy !req
447. I'm thinking bear,
maybe bobcat.
Copy !req
448. No, sir. Guys, I wouldn't
call you our here
Copy !req
449. For some nonsense.
This guy—
Copy !req
450. Although
you have before.
Copy !req
451. You have before.
You have before.
Copy !req
452. Trust me, guys.
OK.
Copy !req
453. Glen, do us a favor.
Be honest with us now.
Copy !req
454. There was no...
Copy !req
455. Man-Bear.
Man-Bear.
Copy !req
456. There was a—
Copy !req
457. Come on now.
Copy !req
458. There was a bear
on the ridge.
Copy !req
459. Just a bear
on the ridge.
Copy !req
460. That's where he should be,
in the national parks.
Copy !req
461. National park, that's where
a bear should be.
Copy !req
462. If it was a drifter,
I'm unprepared.
Copy !req
463. We like you. I think
you're a good guy.
Copy !req
464. You're a good guy.
Copy !req
465. We like you.
Copy !req
466. What are you doing
for Christmas?
Copy !req
467. Well, going to
my—Chicago.
Copy !req
468. Family is doing
a thing, so—
Copy !req
469. You?
Copy !req
470. Going with him
to Chicago.
Copy !req
471. We're going to
Chicago to do a thing.
Copy !req
472. We're going
to Chicago.
Copy !req
473. Yeah. I'll be out here
by myself.
Copy !req
474. You know—
Copy !req
475. Saddest time of the year
is Christmas. That's a fact.
Copy !req
476. That's where the Donners
ate each other,
Copy !req
477. Right, up there?
Isn't that—
Copy !req
478. Right, I believe,
right there.
Copy !req
479. Yeah. Right there.
Copy !req
480. It's been great.
Copy !req
481. I could've sworn
I just heard some
whispering
Copy !req
482. Over from the Donner
bones, but—
Copy !req
483. You might want
to check that out.
Copy !req
484. Wow, it's been great.
Copy !req
485. Oh, it's been great.
Bye, Glen.
Copy !req
486. Don't chase the car.
Don't chase the car.
Copy !req
487. It's dangerous.
Don't chase the car.
Copy !req
488. I think there's
a very good chance
Copy !req
489. That the blond
one's name is—
Copy !req
490. I yelled out,
"hey, Glarry."
Copy !req
491. "Hey, Glarry"?
"Glarry"?
Copy !req
492. It's either—He might
be Gary or Larry
Copy !req
493. Because I was trying
to say Gary,
Copy !req
494. And I made a mistake.
I said, "hey, Glarry."
Copy !req
495. The glasses guy kind
of looks like Roge.
Copy !req
496. he looks like
an Ernie.
Copy !req
497. Glasses guy does look
like an Ernie.
Copy !req
498. He looks like an Ernie.
Copy !req
499. Are we gonna start
doing "looks like"?
Copy !req
500. Ladies and gentlemen
of the Reno, Nevada,
sheriff's department,
Copy !req
501. You've, no doubt,
by now surmised that
Copy !req
502. We are not
who we claim to be.
Copy !req
503. We are not actually
members of the Reno
sheriff's department.
Copy !req
504. We are members of the
office of homeworld security.
Copy !req
505. Yes. A rain of antimatter
was coming down
Copy !req
506. Upon the very desert
in which you all live,
Copy !req
507. And we stopped it
from killing every
last one of you.
Copy !req
508. Yes?
Copy !req
509. Is your name Glarry?
Copy !req
510. That's the most ridiculous—
That's not a name.
Copy !req
511. Who is named Glarry?
I turned because
I heard Glarry
Copy !req
512. And I thought, "what
the hell does Glarry mean?"
Copy !req
513. Flat out mistake,
and I apologize.
Copy !req
514. Now please come with us,
Copy !req
515. And we will answer
every question you have.
Copy !req
516. Come on.
Copy !req
517. Was that not clear?
Copy !req
518. We meant right now.
We meant right now.
Copy !req
519. You can follow us.
Let us go now.
Copy !req
520. Time is of the essence.
Copy !req
521. Ladies and gentlemen,
do not forget what's
happened here.
Copy !req
522. There's one thing that
you need to remember.
Copy !req
523. It's do not trust
your senses.
Copy !req
524. We'll be in contact.
If we're not, pray.
Copy !req
525. Let's go!
Copy !req
526. Godspeed.
Copy !req
527. So, we don't have to
do them for secret Santa.
Copy !req
528. No. We don't.
Copy !req
529. yeah!
Copy !req
530. Last time I did
Whippits,
Copy !req
531. Roy Clark appeared
Copy !req
532. And told me not
to do Whippits anymore,
Copy !req
533. And I stopped.
Copy !req
534. Well, that would
do it for me.
Copy !req
535. Cold turkey.
I think he's dead.
Copy !req
536. You had a vision.
Copy !req
537. Yeah, yeah.
Of Roy Clark.
Copy !req
538. Oh, no. He's long dead.
Long dead.
Copy !req
539. Came out, big smile,
Copy !req
540. Red, white, and blue
banjo,
Copy !req
541. And said, "Travis,
you straighten up."
Copy !req
542. You know, I got some
in the trunk.
Copy !req
543. Salvia?
Copy !req
544. Yeah. And Whippits.
Copy !req
545. Oh. Not tonight.
Copy !req
546. Not, as it were,
a school night.
Copy !req
547. Ha ha ha!
Copy !req
548. I'm fucking with you.
Copy !req
549. "School night.
Yeah, let's do some.
Copy !req
550. Let's do some
Whippits really quick.
Copy !req