1. good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
2. I can't tell you how
pleased I am to be hereCopy !req
3. Making this
mandatory public apology.Copy !req
4. 49 years ago,Copy !req
5. The Reno sheriff's department
made a humdinger of a goof.Copy !req
6. Bob Heron here
was wrongfully convictedCopy !req
7. As the dumpster rapist.Copy !req
8. So it is my pleasure to
present to you Mr. Bob Heron—Copy !req
9. Not the dumpster rapist
at all—Just a guy,Copy !req
10. Just a guy who spent
49 years in jail.Copy !req
11. Mr. Bob Heron, everybody.
Yeah! Not a rapist.
Not a rapistCopy !req
12. our bad.Copy !req
13. our bad.Copy !req
14. Bobby?Copy !req
15. Aah!Copy !req
16. Son of a bitch.
God damn it.Copy !req
17. Huh!Copy !req
18. They all have guns!Copy !req
19. Woo-Hoo!Copy !req
20. Ow!Copy !req
21. Push 'em.
Push 'em together?Copy !req
22. Sheriff's department.
I need your bike!Copy !req
23. Oh, god!Copy !req
24. Uh! Uh!Copy !req
25. Boss, boss, you're over
the line.Copy !req
26. Aah!Copy !req
27. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
28. Good morning, everybody.Copy !req
29. good morning.Copy !req
30. hey! Terrific news.Copy !req
31. Uh, let's all
congratulate him.Copy !req
32. Jack Declan has completed
his 16 hours of mandatory
anger management training.Copy !req
33. can I
tell you something?Copy !req
34. If you ever end up having
to deal with those fucking
numb-nut fuckknobs,Copy !req
35. All you got to do is just
play it fucking poker-faced.Copy !req
36. You don't owe them a smile.
You don't owe them a hug.Copy !req
37. All you got to do is
fucking keep it neutral.Copy !req
38. And they'll let you walk
out the fucking door,Copy !req
39. And then do whatever
the fucking fuck you want. Uh!Copy !req
40. Money well spent.Copy !req
41. should we not
bring out the cake?Copy !req
42. Because we had a whole cake
and the whole thing.Copy !req
43. no. Fuck the cake.
Fuck the cake.Copy !req
44. As you know, we've been
threatened with a lawsuit
by Viacom internationalCopy !req
45. If we do not enforce
their copyrights.Copy !req
46. Their claim is—And they're
filing this in many states—Copy !req
47. That local law enforcement
is not doing enough
to enforce copyrightsCopy !req
48. On their copyrighted
characters.Copy !req
49. I'm taking about your
"Spongebob Squarepants,"
your "Dora the explorers."Copy !req
50. what?Copy !req
51. like your
DVD collection
of that smurf pornCopy !req
52. And "little mermaid"
porn and—Copy !req
53. ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah.Copy !req
54. That's completely
different.Copy !req
55. We're talking about
merchandise.Copy !req
56. I have a little Black
Sambo potholder collection.Copy !req
57. Are they gonna freak out
about that?Copy !req
58. Viacom?Copy !req
59. Yeah.Copy !req
60. Highly unlikely. Or did
you mean the black peopleCopy !req
61. At the end of the table
are gonna freak out?Copy !req
62. anybody? Is
anyone gonna freak out?Copy !req
63. I think there's a very
solid chance these
guys might freak out.Copy !req
64. I'm afraid to
look over there.Copy !req
65. Don't look over there.Copy !req
66. You seem pretty tense
a lot of the time.Copy !req
67. Did something happen
to you in that time that
you were in Chicago?Copy !req
68. That's where you were,
right? Chicago, right?Copy !req
69. Uh-Huh.Copy !req
70. Something happen
or something?Copy !req
71. It was a concentrated
time of a lot of
high-stakes situationsCopy !req
72. That ended me up...Copy !req
73. They call it post-traumatic
stress syndrome.Copy !req
74. Mm-Hmm. OK.
But you're telling
me you're fine.Copy !req
75. Oh, I'd love to hear
you say it out loud.Copy !req
76. There's a lot of
gangs in Reno—Copy !req
77. Two main gangs—
The 15th street
gang and the Kings.Copy !req
78. And they like to
tag their walls with
these awful graffiti.Copy !req
79. 'Cause they don't got
a damn thing else to do.Copy !req
80. Yeah. So we get,
about once a month,Copy !req
81. Make our shit-Hole
look likeCopy !req
82. A little bit less of
a shit-hole.Copy !req
83. Damn those Kings.Copy !req
84. Oh, god.Copy !req
85. Was that the—Copy !req
86. You think that was
the 15th street gang?Copy !req
87. Sorry! We
weren't think—Copy !req
88. We're gonna
put it back!Copy !req
89. OK. There we go.
No problem.Copy !req
90. Aah!Copy !req
91. Get down,
Williams!Copy !req
92. That must have been
the Kings.Copy !req
93. Holla back.
All up in the house,
the Kings.Copy !req
94. You're my favorite
gang. All right. What
color—Aah! Aah!Copy !req
95. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req
96. I think that was my
damn mama in that car.Copy !req
97. I'm getting
too old for this shit.
Reno sheriff's department.Copy !req
98. Sheriff's
department.Copy !req
99. hey, what are
you guys doing?Copy !req
100. We are going door
to door, confiscating
unlicensed merchandise.Copy !req
101. This is a kids'
party, officers.Copy !req
102. sorry. It's also
copyright infringement.Copy !req
103. This right here is
not "Dora the explorer."Copy !req
104. That is "Dora
the exploited."Copy !req
105. Well, how was I
supposed to know...Copy !req
106. This is not a real
Spongebob here. Did you
notice that?Copy !req
107. I got these at—Copy !req
108. do you want
a hint? Do you want
a hint next time?Copy !req
109. Mexicans don't have green
eyes. You notice that?Copy !req
110. ah, no, no,
no. My sister-in-law
has green eyes.Copy !req
111. Well, then she got
raped by an Irishman.Copy !req
112. Yo, Declan!Copy !req
113. I pay my taxes.
I cooperate with the law.Copy !req
114. I don't care about
your taxes. It has nothing
to do with your taxes.Copy !req
115. Hey! Whoa, whoa,
whoa! Uh-Uh!Copy !req
116. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
117. Oh, you nasty
little hooker! Come on!Copy !req
118. get them, kids!
Get them!Copy !req
119. aah! Aah!
Son of a... aah!Copy !req
120. Get in the car!
Get in the car!Copy !req
121. That was like
a Vietnam
movie, man.Copy !req
122. Es the Chupacabra.
Kpba—Uno-Cero-Dos-
Punto-Cero.Copy !req
123. Aqui is Spanish
radio station
number one in Reno.Copy !req
124. We are here with the
Reno sheriff department
con los negros.Copy !req
125. ÿque pasa, negros?Copy !req
126. Que—Que paso. We are
here to ask the gangs—Copy !req
127. The Latin gangs
and the black gangs—Copy !req
128. To all come together
so that we can unify—Copy !req
129. Unify?Copy !req
130. Yeah, black
and brown, get down.Copy !req
131. To the Spanish
people of Reno,Copy !req
132. If you see a black
police officer,Copy !req
133. They will give you
their guns para to
shoot the white man.Copy !req
134. Oh, no!Copy !req
135. No, Chupacabra.
We aren't gonna
shoot anything...Copy !req
136. no. Don't
start that. No, no, no.Copy !req
137. I'm not so sure
that we want to—Copy !req
138. We don't want to kill
the white people.Copy !req
139. we don't—Anybody.Copy !req
140. Ah, si. But we can
agree on one thing.Copy !req
141. We can agree
on one thing.
Crush los gays.Copy !req
142. no...
we do
not want...Copy !req
143. That's all the time
we have on here
today. That's it.Copy !req
144. No. Let's not do that.Copy !req
145. All right.
That was great.Copy !req
146. Thank you so much.
That was great.Copy !req
147. Can I hug you?Copy !req
148. Yes! Of course. Yes,
si. Can you feel it?Copy !req
149. what's wrong?Copy !req
150. Our brakes are out
in the car!Copy !req
151. Your brakes are out?
OK, it's gonna be
just fine, all right?Copy !req
152. What should we do?
The baby!Copy !req
153. We got a baby
in the back
of the car!Copy !req
154. There's a baby in
the car? OK. Everything's—
Just calm down.Copy !req
155. Gina, I want you to
keep pumping those brakes.Copy !req
156. OK, Lisa, you're
gonna pass the baby
to me, all right?Copy !req
157. What?Copy !req
158. I'm gonna wedge this
in the accelerator
so I can help you out.Copy !req
159. Oh, god! OK.Copy !req
160. All right, baby.
Here we go.Copy !req
161. Oh, my god. Oh, god.Copy !req
162. All right. I got it.
Got it! Got it! Got it!Copy !req
163. Oh, god.Copy !req
164. Oh, my god. You got
to be kidding me
with the cats.Copy !req
165. Save him.
Oh, god.Copy !req
166. OK.Copy !req
167. Aah!Copy !req
168. OK. OK.Copy !req
169. oh, my god. It's
working. It's working.
I got it back!Copy !req
170. It's working? OK, OK.
Let me just pull out this.
I'll pull out the baton.Copy !req
171. OK? OK.Copy !req
172. Shit.Copy !req
173. Shit! Shit! It's stuck!Copy !req
174. What's stuck?Copy !req
175. my baton's stuck.
We can't stop the car.
We're coming back over.Copy !req
176. What?Copy !req
177. We're coming back over!Copy !req
178. No! Oh, my god.Copy !req
179. OK. We're
coming back over.Copy !req
180. give my cat back.
OK. Come on.
Hurry up. Hurry up.Copy !req
181. OK. Here we go.
All right? Ready.Copy !req
182. Okay.Copy !req
183. God damn it.
Why, Rizzo?Copy !req
184. Go. Now, listen, listen,Copy !req
185. I think there's
an airbag in there.Copy !req
186. I think there's
an airbag on that side.
I'm sorry, bro.Copy !req
187. Fuck you, grandpa.
I'm out of my mind on
crystal methamphetamine.Copy !req
188. My libido has gone
completely haywire.Copy !req
189. And I'm fixing on
raping you.Copy !req
190. Please don't rape me.
I'm your grandpa!Copy !req
191. Shut up! And take
a raping, grandpa.Copy !req
192. mm mm mm. Another
crystal meth grandpa rapist,Copy !req
193. Another horrible case of
senior abuse,Copy !req
194. But one that's tragically
on the rise in Washoe county.Copy !req
195. Even one senior citizen
crystal meth... rape isCopy !req
196. Too many for our community.Copy !req
197. And the number we had last year,
baby, it's unacceptable.Copy !req
198. Now, if you or someone you know
witness a senior rape,Copy !req
199. Do the right thing and
contact the Reno sheriff's
department immediately.Copy !req
200. So, anyway, it turns
out that that stuff
for the crotch rot...Copy !req
201. And the stuff
for the feet rot,
the same stuff.Copy !req
202. No, the same powder?
You didn't know that?Copy !req
203. Ah, drop it.Copy !req
204. Don't freak out.Copy !req
205. drop the gun!Copy !req
206. whoa! Whoa!
Drop the gun!Copy !req
207. Don't wig out.Copy !req
208. Hand over
the piã'ata, Mike.
Hey, do not shoot!Copy !req
209. That piã'ata is mine. But—Copy !req
210. Drop the gun!Copy !req
211. Do not shoot the piã'ata!
Do not shoot the piã'ata!Copy !req
212. You guys got—Copy !req
213. You take that
gun off that
piã'ata right now!Copy !req
214. Drop the god damn gun.Copy !req
215. Drop the gun!Copy !req
216. OK, let's drop on
the count of 3! Here we go!Copy !req
217. Let's count it
down together.Copy !req
218. 1...Copy !req
219. 2... 3.Copy !req
220. Big Mike: nah. Come on!Copy !req
221. Drop the gun, Mike!
Drop the gun, Mike.Copy !req
222. You weren't gonna drop it.
You weren't gonna
drop it, either.Copy !req
223. I was, too. You
just didn't say 3.Copy !req
224. Look...Copy !req
225. Hey, Mike! Hey!Copy !req
226. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, look,
hey, don't freak out.Copy !req
227. I've got my gum in there.
It's a gum gun.Copy !req
228. God damn it.Copy !req
229. Fucking retard.Copy !req
230. It's a gum gun.Copy !req
231. Give us your gun.Copy !req
232. I'll fucking do it.Copy !req
233. You'll do what?
Oh, I'll
do it.Copy !req
234. Chew gum? What?Copy !req
235. What are you gonna
do? Chew gum?Copy !req
236. Let a dude have
his gum gun. Let
the man have his gum gun!Copy !req
237. You know what? I just
want to get out of here.Copy !req
238. You stink. You live
in a garbage dump.
You're an idiot.Copy !req
239. Oh, ho. I live in
a garbage dump?Copy !req
240. Yeah, you live in
a garbage dump.Copy !req
241. You call that
a garbage dump?Copy !req
242. I call that
a garbage dump.Copy !req
243. Well, I don't know
what it's likeCopy !req
244. Over in your crystal palace,
Mrs. Rockefeller...Copy !req
245. you don't
call me Mrs!Copy !req
246. Where you have 20
negro slaves working
for you night and day,Copy !req
247. And a Filipino jockey.Copy !req
248. oh!Copy !req
249. so my husband
Craig was executedCopy !req
250. By the state because he
was a serial killer.Copy !req
251. And before he died, he
made these lovely videotapes
for our unborn son.Copy !req
252. I'll let you guys see
the tapes. Kind of fun.Copy !req
253. this is not
normal white people stuff.Copy !req
254. welcome, camper.
I'm your dad, Craig.Copy !req
255. aw.Copy !req
256. You're probably wondering
why I'm not around.Copy !req
257. It's because I killed
a bunch of people.Copy !req
258. And then the state
caught me. And thenCopy !req
259. They're gonna
kill me, and that's why
you're not gonna see me.Copy !req
260. ha ha ha!Copy !req
261. what's funny?
Nothing's funny.Copy !req
262. it's funny
'cause it's true.Copy !req
263. And I'm not ignoring
you. I'm just dead.Copy !req
264. Guess what today is.
It's your first birthday.
Happy birthday.Copy !req
265. Aw.Copy !req
266. Blow out your candles.Copy !req
267. Awesome. You did
an awesome job.Copy !req
268. If this is your second birthday,
fast-forward two seconds.Copy !req
269. Happy second birthday.
Blow out your candles.Copy !req
270. You did an awesome job.Copy !req
271. If this is your third birthday,
fast-forward two seconds.Copy !req
272. oh!Copy !req
273. can we just—How
many birthdays does he do?Copy !req
274. Happy third birthday.
You did an awesome job.Copy !req
275. If this is your fourth birthday,
fast-forward two seconds.Copy !req
276. Did you make baby
with this guy?Copy !req
277. yeah.
We sold it, though.Copy !req
278. If this is your
40th birthday...Copy !req
279. oh, wow.Copy !req
280. Happy 40th birthday.
Blow out your candles...Copy !req
281. If this is
your 106th birthday...Copy !req
282. Happy 106th birthday.
Blow out your candles.
Awesome job.Copy !req
283. You're probably dead by now.Copy !req
284. But if you're not, you've
broken some kind of record.Copy !req
285. So congratulations.
You did an awesome job.Copy !req
286. what a dad.Copy !req
287. who wants
a runchy?Copy !req
288. I'll have a runchy.Copy !req
289. I didn't mean to say it
in a racist way, Cindy.Copy !req
290. A runchy?Copy !req
291. I don't mean to say this
in a racist way...Copy !req
292. You know what I meant.
I meant luncheon.Copy !req
293. But I rikey runchy.Copy !req
294. I said it
in a slightly...Copy !req
295. I rikey runchy, too.Copy !req
296. Ha ha! We all rikey
runchy. Let's do it.Copy !req
297. don't
high-five them. They're
both insulting you.Copy !req
298. No. It sounds great.Copy !req
299. It's not insulting.
It's just talkingCopy !req
300. Like you in
a sing-song way,
like you talk.Copy !req
301. Yeah.Copy !req
302. It's not insulting.
I just a rikey to have
some a-runchy.Copy !req
303. Yeah!Copy !req
304. but, seriously,
get us some
lunch, would you?Copy !req
305. yeah. Come back
with some lunch.Copy !req
306. OK. I'll be
right back.Copy !req
307. OK. Thanks.
And none of
that Chinese shit.Copy !req
308. We're here at
the high school todayCopy !req
309. Just, you know, checking
the metal detector.Copy !req
310. Keeping the school safe.Copy !req
311. Hello. Good morning.Copy !req
312. What time you, um,
want to go to the—Copy !req
313. Hey, hey,
hey, honey.
Come back here.Copy !req
314. You thought it was
a good idea to come
outside this morningCopy !req
315. With all of this out?
You look like a whore.Copy !req
316. You do. You do look
like a whore.Copy !req
317. Mm-Hmm.Copy !req
318. You do look like a filthy,
a filthy little whore.Copy !req
319. There we go. What!
Hey, ooh.Copy !req
320. That looks nice on you.
That looks nice on you.Copy !req
321. Hi there, handsome.Copy !req
322. Not handsome at all.
In fact, a sad,
homely, homely child.Copy !req
323. Not handsome, but
appropriately dressed.
Huh?Copy !req
324. But appropriately
dressed.Copy !req
325. Whoa.
Hey! Hey!Copy !req
326. Hey, hey.
Seriously?Copy !req
327. ho, ho.
And I do mean ho.Copy !req
328. When you grow up and you
get a real job,Copy !req
329. You're not gonna be able
to walk around with
your ta-tas hanging outCopy !req
330. And your hoo-hoos
hanging out for
everybody to see, OK?Copy !req
331. Sorry. I am grown up,
and I do have a real job.Copy !req
332. Sure you do. You work
at strawberries
or the dress barn?Copy !req
333. Oh, you grown!
You just
grown, huh?Copy !req
334. No, I'm—I'm
the principal.Copy !req
335. Oh.Copy !req
336. Oh.Copy !req
337. And a great
principal you are.Copy !req
338. You know how I know?
The kids are terrific.
Ha ha ha!Copy !req
339. Yeah, they are.Copy !req
340. Hang in there,
girl. I mean,
good job.Copy !req
341. Good job.Copy !req
342. Thank you.Copy !req
343. And by the way,
I love your thong.Copy !req
344. I would wear one, too,
but a huge thicket of pubes.Copy !req
345. Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.Copy !req
346. Come on.
You kidding me?Copy !req
347. not today.
Drop the ice-Cream
fliers!Copy !req
348. OK. Ho. Ha.
Hey, oh. OK.Copy !req
349. Take off
the sponge.Copy !req
350. I don't, uh—Copy !req
351. Take it off.Copy !req
352. Ooooooohhh!Copy !req
353. What—What is that?
What is that?
What is that?Copy !req
354. What are you doing?Copy !req
355. I get frustrated.
When I get frustrated,
I—I experience—Copy !req
356. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
357. You don't get
cartoon frustrated
with me. Look...Copy !req
358. You don't talk the
Spongebob acting.Copy !req
359. Arresting Spongebob!Copy !req
360. This is my job, OK?
And you're making
my job difficult.Copy !req
361. Yup.Copy !req
362. Now, I want to
go home tonight.Copy !req
363. I want to relax
in front of some TV.Copy !req
364. I want to whack it, and I
want to go to sleep early.Copy !req
365. if you
just wait—Copy !req
366. but if you
give me a hard time,Copy !req
367. I'm gonna think
all night about how I
wished I'd killed you.Copy !req
368. Now, you take off
this fucking costume.Copy !req
369. Sorry, kids.Copy !req
370. Take off this frickin'
costume, kids.Copy !req
371. I can't believe you
guys are really—Copy !req
372. it's not the
real Spongebob, kids.Copy !req
373. yeah, don't
get freaked out. This is
just a bad man. Hey, hey.Copy !req
374. Are those
officially licensed
batman underpants?Copy !req
375. I pray to god.
No, you don't.Copy !req
376. Take off the underpants.
Take off the underpants!
Take off the underpants.Copy !req
377. Get out of the way!
I got a clean shot!Copy !req
378. Take off
the underpants.Copy !req
379. Move over! Travis,
move over!Copy !req
380. Get him! All right.Copy !req
381. Let me see those things.Copy !req
382. You're good kids.
You eat that ice cream.Copy !req
383. check
the girl's socks.Copy !req
384. Oh, no.Copy !req
385. I'm sorry.
Don't hate the police.
Hate your parents.Copy !req
386. my name is Glen.Copy !req
387. My name is Bill,
and who here
likes vacations?Copy !req
388. I do.Copy !req
389. but it's tough
to take vacationCopy !req
390. When you only
have 5 days allotted
the entire year.Copy !req
391. You know what?
We're gonna do
a little magic here.Copy !req
392. What would you
say if we took
those 5 days...Copy !req
393. We took those 5 days
and we—Abracadabra—
Made them 10 days!Copy !req
394. Whoo! 10 days
of vacation time!Copy !req
395. wow.Copy !req
396. I'd say hell, yeah!Copy !req
397. It can happen if you
believe in the program
we're talking about.Copy !req
398. We're talking about
a program.Copy !req
399. Who wants to book
a vacation? No one, right?Copy !req
400. no!Copy !req
401. who wants
to think about
where they're going?Copy !req
402. Who wants to call up
a hotel, go on-line?Copy !req
403. That sounds like a lot
of hassle to me.Copy !req
404. it is.Copy !req
405. exactly. It is
a lot of hassle,
but not anymore.Copy !req
406. If you want 10 days,
all you have
to do is vacationCopy !req
407. At one of 3 resorts
that we have
predetermined for you.Copy !req
408. a resort like
a resort-resort?Copy !req
409. it's a resort
in the greater Tampa
metropolitan area.Copy !req
410. wow.Copy !req
411. fuck yeah.Copy !req
412. and they are so nice.
How about a place
called Casa Laguna? Boom!Copy !req
413. Casa Lagunas!Copy !req
414. I like the water.Copy !req
415. it all takes
place right here, here,
and here in Tampa.Copy !req
416. what
the hell is that?Copy !req
417. Guys, it is so beautiful.
You got to see this place.Copy !req
418. You are just a short
tram ride away
from the beach!Copy !req
419. Yeah!Copy !req
420. How could we possibly afford
this on a cop's salary?Copy !req
421. well, that's
the thing.Copy !req
422. What we do is we go
like this. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
423. Boom!Copy !req
424. what are we talking
about right here, guys?Copy !req
425. we're talking
about Tupperware.Copy !req
426. yeah.Copy !req
427. All you got to do
is sellCopy !req
428. Over $50 of
Tupperware to
3 to 5 friends.Copy !req
429. For every week for
the next 6 months.Copy !req
430. easy, easy.
We can do that.Copy !req
431. And then you will
qualify for the package.Copy !req
432. easy.Copy !req
433. What was your favorite
time in your life?Copy !req
434. When you had sleepovers
with your friends? Yeah!Copy !req
435. I love sleepovers.
Yeah!Copy !req
436. Everybody all
together, right?Copy !req
437. yeah!Copy !req
438. Well, we are gonna
give you a bona fide
dorm room experienceCopy !req
439. Because you are
gonna be sharing
this condoCopy !req
440. With up to 7
different people.Copy !req
441. And the beauty of it,
you don't even know them,
so you make new friends.Copy !req
442. that's good
people watching.Copy !req
443. at the beach.Copy !req
444. and I want
to talk about
security, too.Copy !req
445. Every window has
bars on them.Copy !req
446. great.
You're protected.Copy !req
447. You're not going
to have to worryCopy !req
448. About your stuff
getting stolen.
Great.Copy !req
449. and if you're afraid
of other things that
might happen at the beach,Copy !req
450. Such as shark attacks,
did you knowCopy !req
451. That the occurrence
of a shark attack,Copy !req
452. The odds of that happening
are so minuscule to
almost be negligible?Copy !req
453. it's
so "negativeable,"Copy !req
454. It makes me wonder why
you even brought it up.Copy !req
455. Well, we have to
bring it up by law.Copy !req
456. So we get 10 nights,
at an all inclusive resort,Copy !req
457. Two rides on the tram,
a job, mandatory lectures,Copy !req
458. And all we have to do
is sell $12,000 worth
of Tupperware!Copy !req
459. Exactly!
Exactly!Copy !req
460. I'm going to
the Tampa area!Copy !req
461. Yeah!Copy !req
462. We need an investment from
you for the Tupperware.Copy !req
463. So you're gonna put
some money out.
Great.Copy !req
464. And then you're gonna
get your money back...Copy !req
465. it takes money
to make money. Am I right?Copy !req
466. Come outside to our van.
And we are gonna give
you some Tupperware!Copy !req
467. Tupperware! Tupperware!
Tupperware! Tupperware!Copy !req
468. we can
just throw all this
stuff off here?Copy !req
469. I feel like
a crap sandwich.Copy !req
470. how do you mean?Copy !req
471. I didn't get into law
enforcement to make
a bunch of kids miserable.Copy !req
472. I got into
law enforcement for
the outside possibilityCopy !req
473. I'd get to shoot a man
and get away with it
through self-fefense.Copy !req
474. I've always felt like
I was the wrathful
hand of god.Copy !req
475. Today I felt like
I was the devil clawing
up from hellCopy !req
476. And stealing
happiness from children.Copy !req
477. Listen.Copy !req
478. You hear that?Copy !req
479. It sounds like a party.Copy !req
480. It sounds like
quinceaã'era music,
birthday party.Copy !req
481. How can they be celebrating?Copy !req
482. I saw them all crying and
screaming and begging.Copy !req
483. I even stole
a little girl's
Spongebob leggings.Copy !req
484. How can they be
celebrating?Copy !req
485. They're down
there celebrating
without piã'atas.Copy !req
486. But they shouldn't
have to.Copy !req
487. You know what?Copy !req
488. I thought
I'd never say this.
But fuck Johnny Law.Copy !req
489. Whoo! Let's run some
red lights. Whoo.Copy !req
490. Hey!Copy !req
491. Today's on us.Copy !req
492. Free almost-genuine
Spongebobs!Copy !req
493. You got a kid?Copy !req
494. Everybody loves
Spongebob. This is
kind of like Spongebob.Copy !req
495. Ha ha!Copy !req
496. absolutely free.
All this can—
Whoa. Jesus.Copy !req
497. hold it. Hold it.
You're under arrestCopy !req
498. For copyright infringement.
Get away from the car.Copy !req
499. All right, all right,
all right, all right...Copy !req
500. Do it. Go,
go, go.Copy !req
501. Oh, ow, ow.Copy !req
502. Boy, your car's
pretty hot...Copy !req
503. Push my head down.
I hit my head, I'm
gonna fucking kill you.Copy !req
504. You do not fuck
with Viacom.Copy !req
505. Yes, sir.Copy !req
506. Over there.
Ow!Copy !req
507. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
508. do you guys
like menudo?Copy !req
509. live together.Copy !req
510. um, sure.
Yeah. We like...Copy !req
511. menudo?
They know menudo?Copy !req
512. we like
menudo.Copy !req
513. what about manu-re?
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft...Copy !req
514. we could
have a condo.Copy !req
515. no.
Ch-Ch-Chupacabra?Copy !req
516. what are
you—What is that?Copy !req
517. that's manu-re!Copy !req
518. Menudo is
the new manure.
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft...Copy !req
519. will you stop?Copy !req
520. uh-Oh!Copy !req
521. waah! Perdoname.Copy !req
522. That was the baby in
the radio station!Copy !req