1. Every single time
I do child's pose,
out comes a fart.Copy !req
2. It's great.Copy !req
3. Oh, my fucking god!Copy !req
4. God damn it!Copy !req
5. God damn it, that's my bike!Copy !req
6. Sheriff's department!
Sheriff's department!Copy !req
7. I need your bike.
I need your bike.Copy !req
8. No time to discuss it.Copy !req
9. I'm sorry.Copy !req
10. I don't—I don't know how
to ride a motorcycle at all.Copy !req
11. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
12. Son of a bitch.
God damn it!Copy !req
13. come on!Copy !req
14. They all have guns!Copy !req
15. Ow!Copy !req
16. Push 'em together?Copy !req
17. Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!Copy !req
18. Aah!Copy !req
19. Watch. Watch.Copy !req
20. Aah!Copy !req
21. You don't have
to get an X-ray, but if
it turns up, there's—Copy !req
22. I'm just saying, there's
a reward if you poop outCopy !req
23. This young lady's
engagement ring.Copy !req
24. Can I get a polite
round of applauseCopy !req
25. For deputy Travis Junior?Copy !req
26. for what?Copy !req
27. For the beautiful artwork
that he didCopy !req
28. For my princess
Diana of Wales 10-Year
memorial tribute.Copy !req
29. Junebug, you drew that?Copy !req
30. I had no idea.Copy !req
31. anyway, Travis,
thank you very much.Copy !req
32. It's beautifully done.Copy !req
33. it took me
all weekend.Copy !req
34. So this Saturday
at 7:30, it's my 10-Year
tribute to Diana,Copy !req
35. Princess of Wales.Copy !req
36. I hope you all can be there.Copy !req
37. are these for us?Copy !req
38. Yeah. Pass
them around.Copy !req
39. All right.Copy !req
40. I would like to,
but I can't make it.Copy !req
41. I'll see you there.Copy !req
42. no, you won't.
Yes, I will.Copy !req
43. No, you won't.Copy !req
44. Yes, I will.Copy !req
45. No.Copy !req
46. I can play
this game all day.Copy !req
47. You want to play
chess? You want
to play mouth chess?Copy !req
48. I'll mouth
chess you.Copy !req
49. what time is it?
7:30.Copy !req
50. Shit. Busy.
Really?Copy !req
51. Yeah.
It is mandatory.Copy !req
52. I think I got the kids
this weekend. Yeah...Copy !req
53. Oh, bring them.
They'll love it.Copy !req
54. It's great for kids.
Great for kids.Copy !req
55. It'd be good
for kids.Copy !req
56. They're terrified of
theater.
Big boy, big boy?Copy !req
57. Uh, you know what?Copy !req
58. I don't like
being referred to
as big boy anymore.Copy !req
59. All right. OK.Copy !req
60. Whoever's not there
is working Christmas.Copy !req
61. So that's how it goes.Copy !req
62. If you're not
there, that's fine.Copy !req
63. Lieutenant, legally, are
you allowed to do this?Copy !req
64. absolutely. If we're
gonna start questioning
if what each other is doingCopy !req
65. Is legal, do we
want to pull—The thread
of that sweater?Copy !req
66. Start pulling it
and pulling it
and pulling itCopy !req
67. Till our teats
are flopping about and we
have no sweater left. Sir?Copy !req
68. I don't want
my teats flapping about.Copy !req
69. nobody wants
your teats—Copy !req
70. No one wants their
teats—
Nobody wants that.Copy !req
71. let's not worry
about—Let's not...Copy !req
72. hey, Mike!Copy !req
73. you can hear us.Copy !req
74. Mike, I know you
can hear me.Copy !req
75. Pull the fuck over.Copy !req
76. Ha ha ha ha!
You got that one?Copy !req
77. You don't listen
good, do you?Copy !req
78. Come on. I'm just
out daredeviling.Copy !req
79. Oh, son, you're
on out there
daredeviling?Copy !req
80. Out daredeviling?
That
is a very nice suit.Copy !req
81. Out daredeviling.
Thanks.Copy !req
82. I would almost
go so far as to say,Copy !req
83. Junior—Would
you say this is
a suspiciously nice suit?Copy !req
84. I might say that.Copy !req
85. Hmm, hmm, hmm.Copy !req
86. Facemask, facemask.
Five yards, 15 yards.Copy !req
87. Would you say it's
a suspiciously nice suit?Copy !req
88. I was willed this suit.Copy !req
89. Really?Copy !req
90. You were willed
that suit?Copy !req
91. You know, that's
not what the peopleCopy !req
92. At the funeral home
said, Mike.Copy !req
93. It turns out, there's
a naked older gentlemanCopy !req
94. In a coffin—The perpetrator
last seen fleeing on—Copy !req
95. Oh, no. That's right.
The Schwinn banana bike.Copy !req
96. The perfect crime.Copy !req
97. The perfect crime.Copy !req
98. The perfect crime.Copy !req
99. Stealing a suit
from a dead manCopy !req
100. And getting away on
a Schwinn banana bike.Copy !req
101. Why would I have the helmet?Copy !req
102. If I'm stealing at all,
why wouldn't I stealCopy !req
103. A fedora or
a nice little Jack hat?Copy !req
104. I was gonna
thank you for
wearing the helmetCopy !req
105. Because it is bike
safety week.Copy !req
106. It is bike safety week.Copy !req
107. Oh, is it?
Yeah.Copy !req
108. Yeah. For those of
you kids at home,Copy !req
109. It is bike safety week.
And always wear a helmet.Copy !req
110. It smells like
a Phish concert. Whew!Copy !req
111. Kind of smells like
Bob Marley's basement
or something.Copy !req
112. Dangle and Junior:
sheriff's department!Copy !req
113. Sorry, guys.
We're just blowing
off a little steam.Copy !req
114. We're the touring
company of "Jesus
Christ, superstar."Copy !req
115. I'm the star,
and uh—Copy !req
116. He's Jesus.
This is my lady.Copy !req
117. Wow. You couldn't
have dropped thatCopy !req
118. Any faster.Copy !req
119. OK. Didn't ask that.
Didn't ask that.Copy !req
120. We're here at the Reno
playhouse for a week.Copy !req
121. We've got two shows
on Sunday, then
we're out of here.Copy !req
122. Knock it off.
No pitch, no pitch.Copy !req
123. No, there's no
commercial. There's
not a commercial.Copy !req
124. We have discount tickets
available at TKTS.Copy !req
125. Don't pitch.Copy !req
126. We didn't ask for your
life history, sir.Copy !req
127. Wow. Guys—Copy !req
128. So just turn it
down and we'll go.
We'll leave.Copy !req
129. Can I say something?Copy !req
130. I'm feeling a little
bit persecuted hereCopy !req
131. Because we've been
working hard all week.Copy !req
132. Oh, don't play
that card.Copy !req
133. I'm serious.Copy !req
134. Hey, guys, I am
trying to get some
sleep next door.Copy !req
135. It is so—Copy !req
136. Oh, it's Benny
Buzz-kill, everybody.Copy !req
137. Because we have two
shows tomorrow, OK?Copy !req
138. I got to get
some sleep.Copy !req
139. Are you the one
who called, sir?Copy !req
140. Did you
call, sir?Copy !req
141. I'm in the room
next-foor—114.Copy !req
142. You're the one
who called.
114, yeah...Copy !req
143. You called on us?Copy !req
144. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
145. So we're cool?Copy !req
146. We're cool.Copy !req
147. We're cool.
Don't bless us.
Don't bless us.Copy !req
148. I'm not gonna—Copy !req
149. Don't bless us
like this. Don't
bless us like this.Copy !req
150. It feels like
a bless you.Copy !req
151. Don't do either
one of these.Copy !req
152. Don't do anything
that's Jesus-like.Copy !req
153. Don't do anything
that's even Bono-like.Copy !req
154. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
155. OK, thank you.
That's good.
That's Bono-like.Copy !req
156. Knock it off.
You're in
the show, too?Copy !req
157. Yeah, I am in the show.Copy !req
158. What did he
just say?
I play Judas.Copy !req
159. You're Judas. Thank
you for the call.
We appreciate it.Copy !req
160. Down. A little
bit down.
Down more.Copy !req
161. Thank you.Copy !req
162. Hey, can I talk
to you, Cindy?Copy !req
163. Yeah.
A laundry
problem again.Copy !req
164. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
165. I give you 11 pounds
of laundry.Copy !req
166. OK.
I got 11 pounds back...Copy !req
167. OK.
None of it mine.Copy !req
168. Oh, yes. I remember
your laundry.Copy !req
169. OK. It's like
XXL white t-shirt,
undershirt, right?Copy !req
170. Yup, yup.Copy !req
171. There's gonna be
about 8 of them.
Is that yours?Copy !req
172. Yup. Mm-Hmm.Copy !req
173. Oh, and, actually,
there's one item
I could not wash.Copy !req
174. It was the extra-extra
large women, uh, underwear.Copy !req
175. Women's nightgown.
It was lace.Copy !req
176. I can't wash that. It has
to be dry-clean only.Copy !req
177. So...
I can—Can I...Copy !req
178. You know, it's about—
It looked like this.
It would fit like this.Copy !req
179. Let me explain
that to you.Copy !req
180. Uh-Huh.Copy !req
181. I had a female
friend over.Copy !req
182. Oh!
And she got very sweaty.Copy !req
183. OK.Copy !req
184. And then she didn't
want to put that in
her handbagCopy !req
185. And then forget it
and it would get
mildewy...Copy !req
186. Right, right.
So she asked me
if I could—Copy !req
187. She a big girl, huh?
Well...Copy !req
188. hey, uh, Cindy,Copy !req
189. I think that you
mixed up my laundry.Copy !req
190. I got a big, giant,
giant braCopy !req
191. That said "Declan"
in the back.Copy !req
192. I didn't think you
were married still.Copy !req
193. Did it have—Copy !req
194. That's my wife's.
And what I'm doing
is cleaning out everythingCopy !req
195. And giving it to Goodwill.Copy !req
196. But I wanted to get
everything washed before I—Copy !req
197. Your wife writes
your name in the
back of her bras?Copy !req
198. I got "Jack Declan."Copy !req
199. I got a couple of
thongs that say
"J. Declan" on it...Copy !req
200. Yeah.Copy !req
201. I got a giant,
giant bra saying
"J. Declan."Copy !req
202. My wife's name
was Janice—
With a "J."Copy !req
203. Yeah.
Oh, OK.Copy !req
204. All right.Copy !req
205. Bernice I thought
your missus was.Copy !req
206. Nope. Janice.
Janice...Copy !req
207. Yup.
With a "J."Copy !req
208. Yup.
"J. Declan.
Janice?Copy !req
209. Yeah!Copy !req
210. what is he, like
a black belt or like a—Copy !req
211. He's a sensei-level
instructor.Copy !req
212. It's what it says.
It says it right
on his resume.Copy !req
213. really?
Yeah.Copy !req
214. well, you can
put anything—I mean...Copy !req
215. attention!Copy !req
216. Hi, everybody.Copy !req
217. Hey.
What's up?Copy !req
218. Today's a great dayCopy !req
219. Because the Reno sheriff's
department is going to make
the impossible possible.Copy !req
220. This is what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna show you how
to break a board.Copy !req
221. The secret to breaking
a board is not to hit
the board,Copy !req
222. To hit behind the board.Copy !req
223. Hello! Hit me over here.Copy !req
224. Not this.Copy !req
225. OK. Let me have a try.Copy !req
226. Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
227. Smacked him right
in the dick.Copy !req
228. I have been working
on my tributeCopy !req
229. To Diana,
princess of Wales.Copy !req
230. Do you mind?
Do you mind?Copy !req
231. It just drifted
over there, bro.Copy !req
232. Um, I've been
working on it
for 4 years.Copy !req
233. It was intended
to be performed,Copy !req
234. Of course, in 2007,
which would have,
in fact, beenCopy !req
235. The 10-year anniversary
of her untimely
and tragic death. Um—Copy !req
236. Why didn't you
do it then?Copy !req
237. I just didn't have
my shit together.Copy !req
238. Hello, boys and girls.Copy !req
239. My name is deputy
Frank Rizzo.Copy !req
240. I'm here to talk to you about
some of the things that I doCopy !req
241. And the Reno sheriff's
department doesCopy !req
242. To make the town of Reno
very safe.Copy !req
243. Well, the first thing I do when
I get up is I clean my gun.Copy !req
244. Guns are very important.
Never be afraid of a gun.Copy !req
245. Guns often solve problems
that words can't.Copy !req
246. So remember that.Copy !req
247. Does anyone know what
a sting operation is?Copy !req
248. OK. It's like a secret mission
in a video game, OK?Copy !req
249. And in order to catch
who I'm going after,
which is a dirtbag,Copy !req
250. I need to look like
a dirtbag.Copy !req
251. So what I'll do is I'll
put on some dirty clothes.Copy !req
252. Depending on how deep
undercover I go,Copy !req
253. I'll put on some AIDS scabs
all over my arms and neck.Copy !req
254. And depending on what type
of suspect I'm after,Copy !req
255. I'll put on a cock ring,Copy !req
256. Or—Does anyone—Copy !req
257. Or a penis ring?Copy !req
258. God damn hippies
sheriff's department!Copy !req
259. OK.
Jesus Christ!Copy !req
260. what?Copy !req
261. You're back!
Yay.Copy !req
262. No, I'm not
talking to you.
I'm yelling at you.Copy !req
263. I'm not
talking to you,
Jesus Christ.Copy !req
264. I'm yelling at you.
Jesus Christ!
It is 3:15.Copy !req
265. what?
It is
3:15 AM.Copy !req
266. OK, but we're
still celebrating.
We turned it down.Copy !req
267. We asked you to
stop celebrating
21/2 hours ago!Copy !req
268. Can I tell you
guys what's going
on here really?Copy !req
269. Yeah.Copy !req
270. Benny, the guy that
called, he's just upsetCopy !req
271. Because he's my
understudy and he's
always wanted this part.Copy !req
272. He's just a jealous
little guy.Copy !req
273. He's upset, like
everybody else in
this hotel is upset.Copy !req
274. Like every other
normal citizen.Copy !req
275. They paid $35 for
a room, and they do not
want to be listeningCopy !req
276. To Allman brothers
at 3:15 AM.Copy !req
277. I figured those chords
out by the way.Copy !req
278. Oh, we do not want
to hear the chords
to the Allman brothers.Copy !req
279. Are you sure?Copy !req
280. I don't want want
to have to pull out
my pistol.Copy !req
281. Are you sure? Really?
'Cause I could—Copy !req
282. It's G C D.
It's always.Copy !req
283. Do not play any instruments.
I want to
hear the chords!Copy !req
284. If we could arrest
you right now,Copy !req
285. If I didn't have
to go to a judgeCopy !req
286. And get a warrant
by probable cause—Copy !req
287. You would be doing—
Oh, you would
be doing—Copy !req
288. How many stations
further?Copy !req
289. Well, you can't. But
you don't have a warrant.Copy !req
290. And you can't search.
So am I right or am I wrong?Copy !req
291. so it was really
nice seeing you guys again.Copy !req
292. Ooh!
Son of a bitch.Copy !req
293. God damn this
guy's pushing
all my buttons...Copy !req
294. Psst! Hey! Guys,
come here.Copy !req
295. Are you gonna bust
the party up?Copy !req
296. We can't.
We don't have
anything on him.Copy !req
297. Yeah. We asked him
to turn it down,Copy !req
298. But that's really all
we can legally do.Copy !req
299. We can't arrest him
for noise disturbance.Copy !req
300. Unless he
has, actually,
possession of it.Copy !req
301. We can smell
it, but we
can't see it.Copy !req
302. I might know
where that is.
His stuff?Copy !req
303. You tell us where
his weed is, you know
who's gonna be playingCopy !req
304. Jesus tomorrow
at 10 AM?
Benny is.Copy !req
305. Benny is gonna be
playing Jesus.
Benny is.Copy !req
306. Benny, I'm sorry I
was mean to you, man.
Give me a kiss, bro.Copy !req
307. Get over here.
Give me a kiss.
That's my man.Copy !req
308. His pot's in the grail.Copy !req
309. you fucking asshole!
What?Copy !req
310. pot is in the grail.
You have the right
to remain silent.Copy !req
311. you fucking
piece of shit.Copy !req
312. Oh, my god, man. My dad
is gonna fucking kill me.Copy !req
313. are you
OK, Terry? Terry?Copy !req
314. What's the matter,
buddy?Copy !req
315. Terry? Terry?Copy !req
316. Use your words.
Use your words.Copy !req
317. I was murdered.Copy !req
318. You were murdered.Copy !req
319. OK. You obviously
weren't murderedCopy !req
320. Because you're
alive and you're
basically intact.Copy !req
321. You weren't
murdered, buddy.Copy !req
322. You weren't
murdered, buddy.Copy !req
323. My skate is stolen!Copy !req
324. OK, your skate
is stolen.Copy !req
325. It was an alien
from the sky.Copy !req
326. OK. It was
obviously not an
alien from the sky.Copy !req
327. Somebody came by—Copy !req
328. It was a big ship
and a alien saying...Copy !req
329. And he took my skate.Copy !req
330. So he spoke alien
talk, and he came
and took your skate.Copy !req
331. I was playing baseball
with my friends.Copy !req
332. And an alien ship came down.Copy !req
333. And it shined a beam on me.Copy !req
334. And they were like,
"hey, fag.
And I'm not gay.Copy !req
335. Hate crime. We have
an alien hate crime.Copy !req
336. I'm not gay.Copy !req
337. Come here.
Come here, buddy.Copy !req
338. just skate
around. Skate it
off. Skate it off.Copy !req
339. Skate it off.Copy !req
340. have you got a cell phone?Copy !req
341. I want to get this
for Youtube.Copy !req
342. Crystal methamphetamine.Copy !req
343. It's a terrible,
terrible drug,Copy !req
344. And it's one that
your brain doesn't
really recover from.Copy !req
345. It basically
turns your brain into
a sort of a sponge.Copy !req
346. If you don't believe it,
go to the web and check
out facesofmeth dot ul.Copy !req
347. usually, blow jobs
cost around 40 bucksCopy !req
348. Or—Or threat
of deportation.Copy !req
349. There are several methods
of interrogation to extractCopy !req
350. Information that may lead
to an arrest.Copy !req
351. The femoral artery
is located right here.Copy !req
352. And what we do sometimes,
it's called a bleed-out.Copy !req
353. You hit that, either you
clip it with a scalpel,Copy !req
354. Or take your gun.Copy !req
355. Do that, and it's gonna
just start coming out.Copy !req
356. It's just gonna start coming
out right through there.Copy !req
357. Now, if it's
a female suspect,Copy !req
358. You may want to—You know,Copy !req
359. You're gonna have to go for
the ventricle artery here.Copy !req
360. Does anyone know who
the ventricle artery is?Copy !req
361. Very nice.Copy !req
362. Once you take care
of this situation,Copy !req
363. Usually you're gonna get
the information that you needCopy !req
364. And we're gonna put
the bad guys away.Copy !req
365. Whew. That was
a lot of talking.
Ha ha.Copy !req
366. 90 minutes.Copy !req
367. Hey, yeah.
A lot to get out.
A lot of info.Copy !req
368. Yeah. We don't usually
talk that much.Copy !req
369. But, um, it's, um,
just— —
Right...Copy !req
370. Uh-Oh.
All right. OK. Ahem.Copy !req
371. So, um, Jim has
asked me to be in this
princess Diana tribute,Copy !req
372. And I think we're gonna
have a very special treat
prepared for everybody.Copy !req
373. Ohh. God.Copy !req
374. I'd rather eatCopy !req
375. A 6-foot-long broken
glass dog shit sandwichCopy !req
376. Than go
to that tribute.Copy !req
377. OK. There are
leotards involved.Copy !req
378. Hey. You gonna be
wearing leotards?Copy !req
379. I'm gonna be
wearing a leotard.Copy !req
380. I'll go for you.Copy !req
381. Yeah?
Yeah. I'll go for you.Copy !req
382. I'll tell you what...
what?Copy !req
383. It's gonna be a bit
of a camel toe parade.Copy !req
384. Ha ha ha!
Hey, what is this,
"Lawrence of Alabia"?Copy !req
385. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
386. That's disgusting.Copy !req
387. Look what I found.Copy !req
388. whoa.Copy !req
389. In Trudy Wiegel's
bedroom.Copy !req
390. What, that freak?
It's so on.
Let's watch it.Copy !req
391. Put that
in immediately.Copy !req
392. ah! Oh, my god.
I want to see that.Copy !req
393. Trudy getting freaky!Copy !req
394. Surprise! It's not a sex tape.
It's my will.Copy !req
395. Ha ha. Got you fuckers.Copy !req
396. You're not gonna get
to see my vag.Copy !req
397. Baby Jesus has taken another
angel up to heaven today.Copy !req
398. I think we all
hate Jesus for that,
and I think that's OK.Copy !req
399. Now, for this next
part, if someone could
please put this on a loopCopy !req
400. So it would play over
and over again.Copy !req
401. And set the monitor
on top of the coffin
at the funeral,Copy !req
402. That would be terrific.Copy !req
403. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.Copy !req
404. hello. Thank you for coming.Copy !req
405. Good day. It's wonderful
to see you again.Copy !req
406. Oh, hello there, Carl.Copy !req
407. You made it.Copy !req
408. Ha ha ha.Copy !req
409. Wonderful, wonderful...Copy !req
410. is this some
kind of death tape?Copy !req
411. uh-Huh.Copy !req
412. How did we
get it?Copy !req
413. Broke in. I'm
gas lighting her.Copy !req
414. Changing the wattage
of the light bulbs,
make them low.Copy !req
415. I know what
gas lighting is.Copy !req
416. You're trying to make
her think she's crazy.Copy !req
417. I'm putting left-overs
in the fridge of stuff
she never ate.Copy !req
418. Very good.
Very good...Copy !req
419. Right? So she's like,Copy !req
420. "Did I—Did I have
pop tarts and soup?"Copy !req
421. hey, they
sell half-again
too big phonesCopy !req
422. If you want those
to make her think
she's shrinking.Copy !req
423. oh! Make her think
she's shrinking.Copy !req
424. I like the way you think.Copy !req
425. You're probably wondering,Copy !req
426. If I'm not nice
to Trudy in this life,Copy !req
427. What will she do to me
in the afterlife?Copy !req
428. And I do have
big plans for haunting.Copy !req
429. So just know that if you,
you know, fuck with me,Copy !req
430. Big black guy, if you
try and rape my corpse,Copy !req
431. Then I have some pretty
big haunting plans for you.Copy !req
432. I'm gonna live inside
your fridge.Copy !req
433. I'm gonna haunt
the fuck out of you
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
434. I've been working
with that bitch
for 15 years,Copy !req
435. And she doesn't
know my name.Copy !req
436. Jim and I are working
on a princess Diana
tributeCopy !req
437. For everybody to see.Copy !req
438. Why?Copy !req
439. That's a good question.Copy !req
440. Declan, high-Pitched voice:
oh, boo-Hoo! Oh,
boo-Hoo! I'm Jack Declan.Copy !req
441. I'm so lonely.Copy !req
442. Oh, if people could
only know insideCopy !req
443. That I want
to be friends, I know
they would like me.Copy !req
444. shut up! Stop feeling
sorry for yourself.Copy !req
445. Be a man. Be a man.
Be a man!Copy !req
446. ooh, my life's so hard.Copy !req
447. Oh, nobody likes me. Everybody
thinks I'm so scary.Copy !req
448. of course they do!
Just kill yourself.Copy !req
449. Just either suck it up
and go to the world
and face itCopy !req
450. Or kill yourself because
there is no in between.Copy !req
451. Uh! Uh! Pull it together.Copy !req
452. Fear nothing.Copy !req
453. Hey.
Hey, man.
How you doing?Copy !req
454. What's up, guys?
Hey, I'm OK. How about you?Copy !req
455. Yeah? I'm great.
Uh-Huh.Copy !req
456. I'm good,
doing good.Copy !req
457. Hey.Copy !req
458. Everything's
OK over here, too.Copy !req
459. Yeah.Copy !req
460. Hmm, awesome.Copy !req
461. How you doing, man?Copy !req
462. I'm good.
How are you doing?Copy !req
463. Like I said, everything's
OK over here.Copy !req
464. How about you, Rizzo?
You OK?Copy !req
465. I'm great, man.Copy !req
466. You OK?
Yeah. I am.Copy !req
467. Sometimes I worry
about you.Copy !req
468. No, no. No.
Don't be.
I feel great.Copy !req
469. OK. If you ever
need to talk...Copy !req
470. Right back at you.Copy !req
471. If you need to talk
about anything.Copy !req
472. Hey, I'm gonna
get out of here.
Great talking to you.Copy !req
473. OK.Copy !req
474. Great talking
to you, too, man.Copy !req
475. you think
they don't know? They know!Copy !req
476. Everyone can see through
you—Your weakness.Copy !req
477. God damn it!Copy !req
478. Pull it together! Pull it
together! Pull it together!Copy !req
479. Great. You're coming
to the princess Diana
tribute, right?Copy !req
480. That's, uh...Copy !req
481. Travis, you know, I
think you heard me.Copy !req
482. Oh, the Diana tribute...Copy !req
483. Yeah, yeah.
The show thing.Copy !req
484. 'Cause I got
the little mini-auditorium
there and stuff,Copy !req
485. And I got
a smoke machine.Copy !req
486. Yeah. When
was that again?Copy !req
487. It's, uh, it's tonight,
tonight at 7:00.Copy !req
488. Ooh! So I
planned that thing.Copy !req
489. What did you
plan specifically?
That thing.Copy !req
490. What is it
specifically?Copy !req
491. A dentist thing.Copy !req
492. The dentist thing
at 7:00?Copy !req
493. There's no dentist
that's open at 7:00—
That's interesting—Copy !req
494. That I know of.Copy !req
495. Yeah. No, 'cause
I'm trying to work
it into my schedule.Copy !req
496. So you made him stay late.
You called the dentist
and had him stay late.Copy !req
497. OK. Just bring me
a note tomorrowCopy !req
498. And an X-ray of the tooth
and some documentation.Copy !req
499. I could probably get
an X-ray of the tooth
for you by tomorrow.Copy !req
500. Great.Copy !req
501. Rizzo, I can't
ask you to not have the—Copy !req
502. It's a normal
thing that happens to
a gentleman in the morning,Copy !req
503. Particularly if he's sleepy.Copy !req
504. I can ask you once again
to sit closer to the desk.Copy !req
505. Thank you. I can see
your morning erect—Copy !req
506. I just
went to check on that
Jesus guy in cell 3.Copy !req
507. He is gone.Copy !req
508. The cell's still locked,
prison clothes laid out
on the bedCopy !req
509. With nobody in them.
He is not there.Copy !req
510. I put him in 3 days ago
for the long weekend.Copy !req
511. no he's in 6.
Did you say 3?Copy !req
512. 3.
No, he's in 6.Copy !req
513. oh, that
makes more sense.Copy !req
514. There was almost
a miracle in here.Copy !req
515. yeah...
yeah.Copy !req
516. Good—Ooh! Oh, god!Copy !req
517. Oh! I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.Copy !req
518. Oh, fuck.
I can't breathe.Copy !req
519. Gary, get up front. We
fucked this up, man.Copy !req
520. I fucking landed
on my tailbone. Ow!Copy !req
521. Captioning made possible by
MTV networksCopy !req
522. Captioned by the national
captioning institute
—Www.Ncicap.Org—Copy !req
523. Of course, there
will be a eulogyCopy !req
524. Read by none other
than my better half,
Jim Dangle.Copy !req
525. "It was no secretCopy !req
526. "That Trudy and I were
somewhat of an item.Copy !req
527. "Sure, I acted as though
I couldn't stand her,Copy !req
528. "Even joked at times how
I wished she were dead.Copy !req
529. "In fact, we were
so in loveCopy !req
530. "That Trudy has made
arrangements for us
to be buriedCopy !req
531. "Not side by side—
Because that would
be very expensiveCopy !req
532. "To get two plots—Copy !req
533. But in the same
grave right on top
of one another."Copy !req